Each year, Americans mourn the loss of over 2000 people, yet since the 9/11 Attacks, we’ve also lost over 8000 elders each year to suicide. WHy? Because of elder guardianship, elder care mistakes and the horrors of the courts. I contemplated suicide for a time, but realized if I did, it would have only given the perpetrators of this crime a reason to institutionalize their grandchildren. Unfortunately, the President doesn’t care and turned a blind eye to all this carnage, 8000 plus elders die each year since the 9/11 incident. That’s 54 times more people that died in the attacks themselves. And that is a statistic you should know. I got this from a FaceBook post on Families Against Court Embezzlement Unethical Standards. YOu guys should check out the group at http://www.faceus.org and like and share what you see here. The statistics are unfavorable for elders and disabled people in bondage, and I will not be disrespected when my remains are stored the way 30 others were stored, in a locker unit. Ashes and remains should be in storage at a funeral home, so take note of this. Disabled people suffer untold abuse and murder by their families, yet nobody keeps an eye on that. Shelters are not set up to prevent murder while a disabled person is long suffering under the hands of guardians who feel they are a burden. Meanwhile, you have 8000 plus people killing themselves because of a judge or judges who don’t give a damn. A country must take care of her least defensive or most vulnerable citizens, validate them as people, and make sure they don’t get drugged heavily and institutionalized and thrown in jail because they want to live their lives. IF I can’t live my life, I could end up like the 8000 plus who hang themselves, overdose on medications, etc because nobody will help or take note of what abuse I’m in. Nobody powerful even gives a damn, and it’s not anything I did at all. Our current government has to deal with Russian meddling in the election, even aided by Trump and his son in law. Rich people think they can buy the country, but they can’t buy the lives of 8000 plus elders and disabled people forced to live under guardianship for the rest of their lives. 8000 plus is too many people dying not to take notice, but turning a blind eye is dangerous for our people.
To Joshua Chasez, I forgot about you. In my previous blog entry, I was writing a letter to your former bandmates, or should I say your friends who made up the band *Nsync, and forgot to put something in here for you. I want to say your songs are amazing, and you’ve got a great career ahead of you. Good work and keep up the wonderful job of recording music. Let’s just hope that Trenton hears some more of your stuff.
If you heard the news, you know that the attacks in Manchester, England were provocative ones done by an ISIS suicide bomber. They’ve arrested a young man in connection to the attacks. Ariana Grande was performing a pop concert when the bombs went off. Prime Minister Theresa May said it best, “Our way of life will always prevail.” No matter what Britons feel about “Maggie may”, they should be respecting those words she said, the details she gave of the investigation, and the fact that Manchester will always stand united. Two people on my Facebook page have marked themselves safe during the attack. I pray that those of us who had the cowardice to do such things go straight to Hell and don’t come back, and don’t even think of attacking the United States. Ugh.
Imagine that happening to a Backstreet Boys concert, or because someone’s at a restaurant, etc. We must be able to detect and foil the terrorists before they cause problems for us. THis time, they caused carnage, targeting people because they were at a concert. Ariana Grande herself is okay, thank God, but the ISIS Terrorists who did this will be condemned to justice and Hell, as it is they’ve done enough damage in the United States. Now they think they can attack Britain as well? I don’t think so.
IF you’re a fighting Irish fan, read this carefully. Readers, if you’ve graduated college, read this carefully. The University of Notre Dame recently invited a stalwart Conservative to speak at the commencement ceremonies for their undergraduates and graduate students, as far as I know. Pence is antigay, racist, sexist, and all things Conservative to the point of supporting an agenda that lines the pockets of Trump and the rich guys. Not good for a Catholic university that not only tried to deny Obama a speech, same commencement ceremony, but tried to stop the Vagina Monologues from being performed. Keep your rosaries out of our ovaries, women chanted through the streets of the “golden morning” and the ranks of the Irish were broken apart. The school should be teaching the following principles: Jesus came to call sinners, not the elite squadron of white nationals, which Pence is probably one of them; people should treat everybody respectfully regardless of sexual orientation or abilities or whatever; South Bend should be a more open and gracious community that spreads the word of God to all people, not just white people who can afford it, the number one in your high school class, etc. Danny, my brother, tried to go to the university of Notre Dame, but they rejected his application, knowing they did it to a son of one of their own, my dad, an alumnus of Notre Dame’s mechanical and aerospace engineering programs. My adopted father attended a school founded in the 1800s by a guy called Father Sorn, and I had my picture taken with a priest who was the principal of Notre Dame or the dean or whatever. He’s written a few books, and he seemed like a good guy. But Notre Dame seems to find itself in the news for all the bad reasons: for inviting controversy to its doors.
WHen I went to the University with my dad and some alumni and their children, I didn’t feel that I was doing it because I wanted to attend the school. Notre Dame is meant more for Catholic men than women, and the Catholic men who run the school think that women should be below them in some way. Holy Cross Junior College is a feeder school into the college of Notre Dame itself, where the famous Rudy attended to try to get into Notre Dame’s football team. I applaud Rudy for doing the things he did, and he became a legend at Notre Dame because he loved the team and God more than he did working the steel mills of Gary, Indiana, the armpit of the midwest. It is sad to say that not a lot of people understand this stuff. Rudy was a legendary figure in Notre Dame’s history, but Michael Pence, the Vice President of the United States, is not. If I were graduating Notre Dame, I would have walked out with the 100 students who did, and trust me, I would be doing it because Notre Dame is inviting someone who wants to cut welfare to disabled people, pit us against families with children already, and put in the dust the disabled people’s voices. Pence doesn’t care about us, and Jesus is not here to give his own commencement speech to the Fighting Irish graduates, but if he did, he’d be angry at Pence for passing anti-LGBTQIA legislation in the conservative state of Indiana. You can’t pass laws against gay people getting services for their weddings, same as you can’t do so to blind people trying to live normal lives without work, which is impossible to get in some areas of the country. I would never have lived in Indiana now that I know their services for the blind are absolutely horrific, and the only jobs offered are jobs at Bosma ASsociates Enterprises which is a sheltered facility. I would have probably been shut up in a group home, at the order of my parents, if I continued living in Florida. I could have had my ashes disrespectfully stored in a locker in storage, not at a funeral home, where they will have to lie in state for a while. A wake and a funeral are okay with me, but Trenton doesn’t want a funeral, a wake, or a celebration. But I want to celebrate his life because he gave me a lot of things, primarily the ability to safely write this post down.
Notre Dame University in South Bend, Indiana would not have offered me opportunities for work or to pay the bills. Religion doesn’t necessarily pay the bills. All that Catholic and religious teaching did was skew the purity myth around some more for me. Notre Dame is changing, and Michael Pence is and should not be welcome in the ranks of the fighting Irish. OF course, not everybody who goes to UND is Irish. ND has to reform its policy toward people with different conditions, and should help the blind find work outside Indiana because the services suck over there. They should also welcome LGBTQIA students with open arms, not a stupid Conservative with the eye for the rich, and disdain for the poor and disabled and unable to obtain a job. Notre Dame should know that Our Lady bore Jesus, nothing else, and did not contribute much else except that she was chosen as the model on which the church arose. Jesus might have instituted the Catholic church, but the papal lines have been traced and bigotry has been done in the Catholic church, and Jesus would never have liked what is going on in South Bend. Jesus would have taken the dregs of the college totem poll and given them a meal, perhaps at the altar with the Last Supper’s wood on it. While Notre Dame has a rich history and culture around the campus, it needs to acknowledge the students are the ones who need a wise choice of speech deliverer and not a Vice President who hates a certain class of people. The Fighting Irish should welcome all forms of expression, and leave the bigots at the door.
THis is a post explicitly for the Backstreet Boys and Nsync, among others. I have a special message I’d like to tell the young men I’ve come to know and love, how their music has impacted me, and what kind of things I’m up to now.
For one, I’d like to thank the boys of N. Sync for giving me this opportunity seventeen years ago. I met the boys of N. Sync on November 1, 2000. I could just be myself, never let go of my life, and I enjoyed the freedom of movement that I got from that moment. I was in a skybox seat in Orlando when the T.D. Waterhouse company had ownership of the Orlando Arena, where concerts and venue performances like basketball games are held. I seriously hate stadium seating, and going through the great big crowds is a challenge. I’d rather be up there meeting the guys, and I so did. N. Sync was one of the best groups since the Beatles, but we all know what happened and they split. Here’s a message to each one of these guys:
To Justin Timberlake, watch your lyrics. You have a great performance presence and you have great stage etiquette, but your lyrics were cited as inappropriate. Try to do something appropriate so governments will honor you for your work, as Tennessee almost did. That’s your homegrown stomping grounds, right? Also, about the meeting seventeen years ago, I sometimes often wonder when it will come to pass that you’ll look at your wife’s hair. Straight or curly? If not curly, then you don’t get to see the experiments in your kids’ hair. I sometimes wondered what that little sequence of DNA would have done had I been the one with the honors to share mine with you. AS I am a curly haired person, and as you said, my hair’s being the same as yours, I can imagine the hair stylists getting crazy about the kids’ hair. It makes me laugh, even when pathological lies about me are piling up. THat is a light in the window, and I sometimes go back to it when I’m lost in the dark places.
Chris Kirkpatrick, you are the coolest guy on Earth. I don’t remember what you said to me or what have you. Fu Man Skito might have been a flop but you aren’t. Keep rocking, Chris.
Joey Fatone, you really rock. Seeing you in the Big Fat Greek Wedding was fun, and more than that, you truly bring out your voice when announcing Family Feud. Nice job, Joey.
Lance, I didn’t even know you were gay. Sorry we didn’t shake hands, I have no hard feelings about you being a bit shy. I’m proud of you coming out and doing the things you do every day.
Now, to the Backstreet Boys, let me start with the oldest boys Howie D. and Bryan. Kevin I’m sure is doing his own thing, but he left the band a while ago. Kevin, you truly inspire everyone you meet.
But Howie D., thank you for following me on Twitter. Howie, you have a sweet and awesome temperament and oh, did I tell you, I’m sorry that you lost your sister all those years ago. I remember another sister singing about it. I can’t remember her name, was it Paula? Caroline was your sister that died, but I still think she’s been one of your big reasons you contribute to Lupus foundation, all that. Hope you’re still in that stuff.
Bryan, I’m so happy that you had those little doggies all those years ago. Tike and Liddy were your babies, and you and your wife shared many a cute memory with those pups. If they’ve crossed the Rainbow Bridge, I’m sorry if bringing them up is a bad thing. But we must remember our pets from that time period, right? At least you rescued the dogs with the help of the police department, and one more thing, Bryan, I support the police. Only one thing, they need to be nice to black people, as I’m practically marrying a black man.
A.J., I hope you’ve stayed sober for as long as I’ve known you’d been fighting depression and alcoholism. It is hard, but I can relate to you immensely. A.j., you’ve also never realized that I’d end up diagnosed with bipolar, which I permanently question on the basis of stupidity of the diagnostic process and the way it goes, I was also diagnosed with border line personality disorder. My parents think it justifiable to have a fraudulent guardianship that prevents me from getting married and they want Trenton my partner to respect their restrictions. As if. We won’t. A.J., do you get those feelings sometimes like you don’t belong? I do. I totally get those feelings, and I adore the way you just openly admit to everything. Take care and keep the faith, just turn to God for your problems and remember that staying sober is the best thing yet.
And finally, Nick, I met your sister Leslie in the times she was alive. I’m sorry to hear of her passing all those years ago, and now your father. Nick, I wish with all my heart that I had been informed earlier somehow that your father had passed away. I hope Aaron gets his butt in gear and does more music with Flo Rida as well as other rappers and artists and keeps the faith as well. Stay sober, as I told A.J., and you are a sweet guy I never got to meet. Nick, I can’t go back to Florida and see the house you bought in the Keys, but as a wealthy man, I wish you’d be a benefactor for me, donate some of your piles of dollars to my wedding. Nick, I was a huge fan of you for a long time, and as I’ll say later in this posting, you were probably my parents’ inspiration to commit fraud against me.
To all the men, I have been alive and well for seventeen more years, I’m thirty years old now and childless. I have a wonderful partner, but I wish we could have children and a normal family. We’ll probably be prevented from doing this because of prenatal care and the parents could tell me to abort. I don’t believe in abortion as a method of punishment or control or birth control, and I’m not for abortions of children with disabilities or children of young parents either. I believe that teen pregnancy is a big issue, more welcome in Africa with married children than in America. However, I believe that teenagers should still get a comprehensive sexual education, period. Do you guys believe this? I didn’t get the comprehensive one, only the crap about marriage and marriage only for sex, and when my parents took that right from me, I bolted. I ran from Florida after college, which I dropped out of because there was no jobs available for blind social workers and I had no support from my family. My parents said I had no people or talent for social work skills, and a doctor even went so far as saying it was a bad choice because of instability and bipolar disorder. This I question, and as I wrote in A.J.’s message, mental health sucks. I went to LaAmistad in Orlando, discovered many things about myself that my parents don’t want to admit to, and decided that this treatment stuff wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right about the counselors and treatment I was getting. It was more brainwashing to respect the frauds my parents still are than helping me with issues. Brainwashing is bad, and I’m not going to brainwash my kids into believing bad things about black and blind men and women. My parents pulled a big stunt with me and Orien Henry, a young man I went to school with, and this stunt involved my dad mocking my desires to just spend time with Orien and I didn’t get that. Orien eventually denied me any contact of any kind for a long while, but Orien doesn’t realize I got kicked out of a church I was supposed to be baptized in, all because of blindness issues and transportation. I’m not going to be baptized in a church and Bryan I’m sure can relate to the feeling of being in church. Bryan, I must say you really should give me a few churches to attend in Colorado.
Speaking of which, my story. I ran to Colorado Center for the Blind, trying to gain independence from my family only to relocate to Denver and find a place on my own. Had I not done this, I would have had my ashes stored in a locker. I want to point you guys to a woman called Karen Federiki, a nurse in Florida who fled to another state because of fraudulent guardianship. Guardianship is a problem in Florida, and Nick, your sister probably overdosed because it was too much for her. Rest in peace, Leslie Carter. Also, Nick, I’m sorry about your dad. Did I say this? I won’t tell you too many times, I promise. But here’s the deal: I fled Florida legally and now I’m a resident of Colorado, guardianship or not. Guardianship or not, Trenton and I will be getting a spiritual marriage and we will need to do this to avoid penalties with social security. You boys are wealthy, don’t have to worry about social security unless you’re the Baha Men. Even still, those guys lost their homes. Ugh.
Anyway, I wish one of you could help with the wedding, as Trenton and I are having unforeseen issues with the guests not coming. We want a wedding, and I want to be able to afford a wedding dress, to get married away from the U.S. so the wedding can be secretive and private. I would do it in Lanachshire Scottland, a county that holds history thousands of years old. In the 1290s A.D., a young bride and her groom married there. Did any of you readers watch Braveheart? Mel Gibson did a beautiful portrayal of William Wallace, a hero for Scottish folks, and I also have some of that ancestry, Scottish ancestry that is. The saddest part was when William died, of course, but Isabel, his daughter in law, ended up with his child. She says that a child not of his lines was in her womb, and I’m sure she bore the child. Lanochshire County Scottland holds rich keys to freedom for me, and Trenton and I will marry in the same spot where William and Maurum got married. The difference being thousands or hundreds of years later, no cruel king and no Prima Nocte. We will do it in peace, something we could never do in the United States. We could never invite the family or guests because nobody’s RSVPing to our invites, and they won’t show. I wanted a hundred guests, but even a buddy of mine has more than me. Or he had more than I will.
Anyway, here I am just hanging around, and reflecting back on my life. It’s been a roller coaster. I want to spend it with Trenton, since none of you guys even had the courage to pose that question to me. Thank you all for your talents, but please keep this in mind, my dreams are crushed. I want to be a singer, maybe a folk singer. I have no other skill that is marketable, forget call center work. What else!
It is always around this time I often think, what will happen if Trenton and I decide to have a child or two? One friend said get the NFB involved, but what good will that do? The NFB refuses to support me because of comorbid disability, Riccobono or not. I think that Mr. Riccobono does have to work hard to get people to realize that guardianship is bad for all people, regardless of disability, but blindness is a primary disability I’ve had to adapt to for life. Guardianship just sends a terrible message that “We the parents can have dominance over a blind person if we want, especially if she’s dating inappropriate people.” Black falls under the category of “inappropriate” according to this terrible message, and I’ve had nothing else to think of this time. If my family calls, I plan to tell them that when Trenton and I have children, they won’t be allowed to see the kids until their dominance and controlling guardianship is dissolved, and they do it without a fight. If they don’t give up the guardianship, the kids won’t see them, and I will make it clear: you, Mom and Dad, committed fraud, I’ll say. They committed exploitation of a young girl with a disability, and if I was writing this in their home, they’d steal my Chromebook which was not exactly theirs to begin with. They don’t know how to use a ChromeBook I bet, and because I don’t want them to see the relationship unfolding between myself and Trenton, I’ve blocked them. I’ve even went so far as disowning them by email, but what to do! I want to be able to have prenatal care and screenings for my little ones, and Medicaid will have to pay for all that because the baby must live. All our babies must live, and I can’t tell you readers enough that the babies will end up dying if prenatal diet and care are not administered. However, a parent in the middle could prevent me from having a child, and they could cause a miscarriage. I won’t have it. So, will you readers do me a huge favor? If you are friends with my parents on Facebook, and you think it’s nice that they are protecting me, write them on Facebook and tell them it’s wrong to have what they have, that it is fraud to have guardianship over a blind woman, and to give up all forms of guardianship unless it’s centered around me and I’m an older lady. Write to your Congressman if you’re a Florida resident and tell the Florida Congress to outlaw guardianships because this one is totally bogus, doesn’t let me do what I want with my life, and could cost me children. I will not be a baby factory for the state, I want to say right now. Trenton and I need to be able to have a child and keep the child, or the children. Sadly, my parents treated me like a burden to them, which the guardianship was meant to cover up. I ask all Floridians who are blind and or have low vision to boycott any services or retail that my parents use, send a message to this family, their attorneys, lawyers, and other people, that this is not acceptable. Florida blind people are able to have families and do things normally, and Jessie is one of them. Kim is a mom of two children, married to a good husband. Who else can I name? There are many Florida families who comprise of visually impaired or blind parents, and I would encourage these families to write my parents on Facebook, and tell David or Patricia Taurasi that their daughter deserves better than this bogus charge. While blindness is an accurate “charge”, I want the ability to consent to prenatal care for my children, the ability to have and keep the kids, and I want my parents to understand that if they refuse to acknowledge adulthood in their daughter, or this case a little known ward of the state, they should be prosecuted for doing so. I want to own a house, buy things that I own etc, and be able to will things to my children. The children should also be taught respect, self respect, and honoring their mom and dad, to the point where they do not put us in nursing care facilities. My children should be allowed to see their mother in the hospital if she’s sick, same with their father. What I want to see from both parents, and this goes for all parents, is to acknowledge that you treated your child like a burden and can’t have any more years with that child beyond eighteen. When my kids grow up, they’re going away somewhere, and when they turn eighteen, they’ll go to college or trade school wherever they want, Emily Griffith included. If my child says he/she wants to go out of state for college, I’ll allow that and never stop my child from living their dreams. But the parents who raised me should be informed that they are officially disowned and cannot have guardianship, regardless of what their concerns are. I live with Trenton, I have food and water in my home, and I do things normally. Forensic psychology is bogus, so I won’t go for that. I want a student that spells words properly, and can define the skills definition of blindness, regardless of how hard it is to find one. And this test will go in my favor, and if you think it won’t, I will tell the psychologists that my parents just don’t like their daughter. They say I manipulate people with my “intelligence.” Wrong. They do it themselves. They manipulated a poor lawyer and judge to remove my rights, and for this, they should be punished. Upon talking to LuLu Flemming, a lady who does a good show on Blog talk Radio, I decided it may be pointless to fight this, but if we had to, we’d bar the kids from seeing the grandparents, my parents in this case. They might view it as a bargaining chip I place on the children, but I’m doing it to keep the children safe. My parents have to understand, these are mine, not theirs, though they will never drink Italian blood ancestry. They could be mixed race, in fact they will be black almost. I might have had a black guy as a bioilogical father, no matter what Mom thinks. This is why my parents are white, telling me who to live with, affecting relationships, and telling me with whom to share things. They want total control, and as I said on Face Us with Robin and Lulu, I’m appalled at the racist ideology my parents practice to this day. They pulled an Orien Henry on all the men I requested, Michael Bonhomme was out because of kids and what they call “sexual experience.” I don’t appreciate them insulting Michael, who’s doing his best to raise his children by a woman who is intellectually disabled, and she could not function like a wife. Michael needed a wife, a woman who could hold conversations with him, and have good communication skills. Communication is key to a relationship. Michael had a crush on me, but face it, Trenton is at least the same complexion as Michael was, but I love his ability to play his drum, and I love a lot of things about Trenton. Doesn’t matter what other girls he’d been with, I’d had my share fo boys. But Trenton is the man I’m with, will stay with, and won’t leave him for the rest of time. I understand that my parents didn’t want me to be with anyone darker than they were, and they will do this to Trenton, and they’ve done it already. No money for honeymoon stuff, no money for the wedding, and I will be forced to exclude many people where I am concerned. Trenton’s friends and family may number only fifty, and only fifty at the most could be gathered, but I want the bells to ring louder than my parents’ voices of “You shouldn’t be doing this.” My freedom depends on people attending my wedding, and if I were to write a real disownment letter to my family, I would tell them since they don’t like black people, while I’m not their daughter, go to the inner city of Orlando or someplace, place yourselves in the shoes of the blacks of Florida, and volunteer at a poor school where mostly African Americans attend. Do something with your lives instead of exploitation of a disabled adult, and don’t you dare read my blog, I’d say. I have a right to write that stuff, and if you don’t like it, go someplace else and think about why I wrote what I wrote here. Trenton and I want to spiritually marry, but I’m not sure streaming the wedding will be safe for us. Someone could listen to the wedding, then make a negative joke on the comments, which is why I wish we had YouTube so we could disable comments. I don’t think the wedding should be streamed or recorded because of parental hatred toward black people, and they will get a leak of the video and realize they were wrong. And that could kill both of them, who cares. Being wrong is something a narcissist doesn’t want to admit, Donald Trump, my dad, my mom, I don’t know who else admits they’re wrong. If you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Admit you’re wrong, and move away from me and do something productive instead of hold control over me deliberately because you don’t like certain people. Black people are here to stay, you can’t tell them to go back to Africa. They want to make a home here, and they have evry right to, including as my husband. Trenton doesn’t like what you’ve done, so don’t bother sending gift cards and other things. That’s what I’d write in their letter, but since they haven’t called me on the letter, they won’t get a response. It bothers me that they’ve pulled stunts with men I’ve been with, conspired with others to break me, kill my spirit, and destroy my first amendment rights. First and foremost, let’s point fingers at anyone who’s said a certain fan club was not appropriate. I can make many Read Gainsford fan clubs if I desire, and I will say that Dr. Gainsford’s character is deserving of fans, period, I’m totally in line with America’s free speech clause when I did it. Gainsford is a good example of an immigrant from the island of New Zealand, who emigrated to the States to live his dream of being a concert piano soloist. I’m envious of Gainsford because I didn’t get enough recognition and wasn’t taught by the right piano instructors. Gainsford was sighted, born sighted and despite other traits that people feel bad about, I still don’t have the dream of being a musician or concert piano soloist. Dr. Gainsford is a Ph.D., and I admire the hard work that goes into it. I’m envious that at least he has a loving family and other people that make him the man he is today: living the dream of American homeownership, living the dream of being employed. He doesn’t know how good he has it, and I wish I could tell him “You don’t know how great you have it compared to me.” I’m being encroached upon in the First Amendment rights, I’m being told that I could lose my residence in Colorado, and I ran here to avoid abue. I don’t want to be told when and how to use the Internet, I want to stay with my husband Trenton. And did I say I wish I could tell all the folks at FSU and past friends how good they have it? Well, they obviously complain about bad students, bad things happening to them, and they fail to see their blessings. Dr. Gainsford better count his blessings, for they number in many. I will never obtain a job teaching piano, never play in front of people again. I will not be able to be employed, no place in the country will hire a blind person. Unless you’re Jonathan and Bonnie Mosen, you can’t start a business without Rehab in the middle. I don’t see how I could succeed because where are the needs? I don’t know what needs there are. …
In closing, my hope is that if you’re spying for my parents, stop. Tell them to back off my little child. They will be barred from seeing the children or the one child unless they get lives of their own away from me, away from my husband and children.
While everybody went crazy oohing and aahing about their moms and how great they were, the only thing that crossed my mind about my mom was what she wanted to do with me years back just because I had Orien on the brain. She threatened chemical restraint, and thought she could do so under a legal guardianship order. My parents aren’t the patient, but they still think they can make decisions about how much medication I take a day, which is two pills once a day at night. The pills aren’t just psychotropic drugs either, there’s a birth control pill that works for me because I went off the trileptol, which is dangerous anyway for babies in utero. Unfortunately, my mother didn’t want a child by someone whom she slept with in college, and did not care whether the child had handicaps or not, she simply could not stand the fact that I had a different race in me. My mother probably had a black boyfriend, hence why the vengeance against Trenton who is black. EVen one civilized conversation with my mother is not enough to balaance out the extreme negativity the family has brought and no other way I can express it. Mother’s and Father’s days are not valid holidays in my opinion because parents should be letting their kids go, not subjecting them to harsh treatment and abuse. There are great mom friends I wish a Happy Mother’s Day to, and there’s a woman I know who was raised by a Nigerian “queen”, as she puts it, and this lady worked at FSU for a time. I must say this woman had it right when she said to her daughters, “Don’t complain about something you’ve attempted not to change.” And she said if something is wrong and unacceptable, “your silence is unacceptable.” I wish I had a mom who would have said those things, and encouraged strength and independence in me in any way possible instead of threatened me with medication, expected me to bow down to a fraudulent court order, etc. etc. etc. Motherhood is not an easy task, I never said it was, but there are things you just don’t do as a mom to a blind child.
First, you don’t slap your female child around just because she has a head wobbling issue. Sorry, that’s why it’s there, and that’s probably why a friend of mine can’t go to my wedding, all because of issues with head rocking. Lee, if you’re reading this, think about why you said you can’t go, and get back to me because I don’t have enough local friends, and the worst part, who’s going to let us have a venue for our wedding! If it weren’t for the unsupportive mother and father, Trenton and I would have a venue, I would have a dress, and we would be legally and spiritually married regardless of guardianship fraud. Motherhood requires you to support your child, regardless of your feelings or opinions about someone of a different race.
Second, motherhood does not give you a license to encroach on your child’s first amendment rights to practice any religion or practice he/she wants. EVen as a Muslim, I was told to go to church. Try telling a Christian that if he/she doesn’t go to mosque and pray there, he/she will die and be beheaded by a terrorist. That is the cold hard truth behind ISIS, Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. THe famous or infamous ISIL group is also known to have stolen Yezidi women and children for their own pleasure’s sake. Motherhood should be about fostering freedom of religion in America, and as Muslims would say, you should obey your mother threefold before your father. WHy? It’s a Haddith that the Prophet Muhammad once said. If your mother however tells you to do something ungodly, something totally against your beliefs, don’t obey. My parents made me go to church in a long skirt and veil, and I took Communion just to stop them from noticing, but they served all beef sausage, and pork was out. I could not eat ham, and that was as far as I’d go. Unfortunately, JEwish people have been told to eat pork in violation of their religious laws before, and it was done by Romans and other kings and races who sought to conquer them. Unfortunately, the Holocaust in the 1930s and 1940s did not help matters at all. The Jewish people have suffered enough, and I commend folks like my friend Tanya, who has three children and a blind husband, for teaching what is right and wrong. HEr Jewish family values and identity are, in any sense of the word, still a choice because if her child grows up and wishes to explore, he can. It’s not against the law for children who become old enough and conscious enough to make faith decisions to do so at all. Take Rifka Barry, a young woman from the Tamil region of Sri Lanka, whose family lied about letting her practice Christianity, and whose brother was not taught proper manners toward women. Rifka eventually got a foster home in Ohio, but still practiced Christianity and no longer reveals where she lives because she’s so conscious about her safety. Rifka has written a tell-all book about her experiences, something I wrote a review of. She does not want to see most of her family, at least she hasn’t yet. HEr little brother was the only thing she missed, as it says clearly in her foreword in her book. I wonder what I’ll write in my own book. Motherhood clearly doesn’t give you a license to want to kill your child either, as Rifka could’ve suffered a painful honor killing for being Christian.
Motherhood should never encroach on a child’s free speech and assembly rights, and socializing with other blind people seemed forbidden. The parents in this case decided to take away any use of the Internet at their discretion because they felt cheated by their daughter talking to other people about their abuse. I’m in Colorado as a direct result of the parental abuse, telling me when and how to use the Internet, what to do and how to do it, and grounding me at 20. THis had to stop, so I left against the state’s order, and I’m not going back as a result of further investigation and refusal to give up the guardianship. I want no settlements, no challenges, nothing. I want to live my life, period. And motherhood for my mother and fatherhood for the father does not give license to discriminate against a teenage daughter’s choice of boyfriend, black or white, pink or polka dotted purple, I don’t care.
Motherhood does not give license to abuse the system just because you don’t like what your child’s done. I don’t do drugs, and that’s a good thing because doing drugs would have cost me my life. What am I supposed to do for work, however? In Mexico, I could have easily been recruited because the cartels fight all the time. I could have been killed by those cartel gangs, and could never have risen to become as good as Pablo Escobar, who also fed the needy and built schools. All with drug money, so did El Chapo. El Chapo is quite the escapist, trying to get out of jail any way he can, but he sold so much in the way of drugs that he must be put away. What am I doing? I’m not doing any such things, I don’t sell or distribute crack cocaine, drugs of any kind, and if the Feds want to read this, take note. I’m innocent and don’t announce drug sales to the world, but I will say I never have or will ever sell or do drugs. My parents can have their way only if I was on drugs, but no, I’m not. Instead, they could make up things about Trenton that are stereotypical, things like “He’s a drug dealer with dreads.” He doesn’t have dreadlocks and doesn’t sell drugs, he has no rap sheet. So motherhood doesn’t give you a license to make stuff up. Or, as someone said of the Star Trek Universe, make shit up.
Thank you for reading.
Every Mother’s Day, we kids would wake up to having a breakfast for a change, but Mom usually got the first dibs on breakfast because it was her day. I usually made her coffee, so she had that. Sometimes she wanted cinnamon rolls and bacon or pancakes and bacon and eggs whatever breakfast foods there were at the store. Now that I think about it, I wish my mother was a bit more cooperative and realized that I want to become a mother myself.
One, she bore me out of wedlock, and that was enough to make her go over the edge with me when I was a little girl. Secondly, she holds one part of the guardianship that ruined my life. Nobody is safe from this, but my parents seriously don’t get it. I want to be a mother, and it’s important to me because my children will learn plenty of good things from me, including about the Loving decision which allowed black and white to marry. Trenton being black doesn’t mean anything. It means there’s a difference in cultural outlooks, but who cares. I still love him, and he will be a good dad sometime in the future, we don’t know. We need a family physician who will bar my parents from trying to terminate the pregnancy, after all that should be illegal unless the woman decides and if she was raped or incestuously touched. If a woman is raped or a relative commits incest against her, she should be able to decide what to do with the baby, but if it’s a baby made of love, like a baby that was planned, that’s a different ballgame. Abortion rights advocates should also take note that babies with disabilities should not be terminated because of their disabilities. IF it’s a died-in-the-womb thing, I can understand. However, I don’t want my baby to die. My mother could not nurse her child, me, but I hope I can for my own child. I want the chance to do things that other people get to do off a silver platter just because they work for it. As a blind person under guardianship, I can’t work, and Colorado should do its part to protect me and the child from being separated. I will have a child someday whether anyone likes it or not, but Mother’s Day wishes won’t be reserved for someone who just advocated for my life to be ruined. My mother advocated for me to be held back for ridiculous reasons in school, mostly behavioral, and then she threatened to ship me to a very bad school in Florida. St. Augustine’s Florida School for the Deaf and Blind had a colorful history back in the 1980s. Remember Jennifer Driggers and Christi Edelmann? Both girls died there. It was due to irresponsibility on the part of staff and students alike, and all of this colorful history is in the book Walking Alone and Marching Together. I must look at the book, and I’m sure you will see why my mother was going on too little information. Shipping me to a school for the blind would have been a terrible choice. My mother didn’t care if the health education was substandard, she wanted an instant fix to her daughter’s rebellious behavior. However, there’s a reason for all the things we do in the world, and rebelling was the only way I could find hope and independence as a disabled person. Guardianship was to my parents an instant fix, but it’s a long term life stealer. My mother won’t be getting flowers or cards from me this Mother’s Day, but Trenton’s mom will and we’re going to do bbq at her mom’s house, and dinner will be awesome. Hopefully, we have a good talk and maybe we could convince the grandmother that the church isn’t the best place to wed due to counseling requirements, plus we have a couples counselor already provided for us at Denver Health. Reason? Because of the extraneous circumstances that Trenton unfortunately has to cope with when being a significant other to someone like me. If my parents had counseling, maybe they wouldn’t have had guardianship because they would realize they are getting it because of the darker skinned guys or the fact that I don’t want to see them anymore. IF I have a child, they could be barred from seeing the child, guardianship or not. I’ll have that done so my child can grow up safe from racism, abuse, and possible isolation from his/her mom and dad. I want to be able to talk to Trenton no matter where I go, and I won’t go to Orlando for any reason, even NFB convention. They need to pick a different location because Orlando is no longer a safe location for a lot of people, meaning Baker Act just for being blind. Or someone could shout to the rooftops that someone needs a public guardian, and that could ruin someone’s life forever. The NFB has a long way to go to recognize the efforts of blind moms, and I want to be among those moms. In closing, my family doesn’t deserve Mother’s Day and probably shouldn’t celebrate it, rather they should be reflecting on why they don’t have a daughter.
Readers, if you follow Donald Trump, you might want to read this. He trolled actress Rosie O’Donald and probably humiliated her for some reason. This guy should be suspended from whatever platforms he has access to to troll people on. Trump, a troll, you may ask? Well, he’s trolled people in the Obama administration, fired an FBI director, and allowed an Apartheidist attorney general to toughen sentences for nonviolent drug offenders. I’m sorry, but this isn’t my president, not my problem. Trump, if you dare read this blog, know that Rosie is getting my sympathy. She played lots of great characters, including a nanny, a gorilla, and many other things. Rosie O’Donald deserves my back, and trust me, if you, Mr. President, think trolling is a good idea, listen to my story. Go back through my blog and look at the bad comments I received, and the worst thing that the guy said was a racial slur. Who could’ve done this! I’m sure it was a teenager who was a Trump supporter, but you need to get off your computer in your office and do something more productive. Oh, and don’t meet up with Russians, I wonder if you’re obsessed with Russian women. Come on, you marry younger and younger Russian beauties all the time, and then you’ll get tired of every single one of them. Trolling a heavy set woman, Rosie in this case, is downright unbecoming of a President of a country. You’re not fit to lead this country, and if you think it’s funny, read my story. I was trolled our condemned supporters, I don’t even know the name.
I have rotten enough, and trust me, the next time Trump trolls somebody, he will be held accountable. Congress should be holding the President to a conduct grade like we do in school. He’s get a U in my conduct grade book, a U for unacceptable, unfit, unsatisfactory, unbecoming a President of the United States. This boy, I’m sad to say, hasn’t learned how to behave around women and minorities in school, and treats the world like it’s his damn soapbox. Rant over.
P.S. I accidentally wrote “Rodney” regarding the trolled actress, when I spelled Rose with the Y at the end, stupid autocorrect really messed it up. Rosie, if you’re reading this, forgive me.. Being a blind blogger hasn’t been easy, and I’m sure neither has being an actress. But I promise I’ll put autocorrect in its place.
It is as I expected it. The show went on May 10, 2017 but no one except Trenton and myself called in. What was founded by the group FaceUs, who hosted the show, was that the whole guardianship concept for my family was racist, abusive, and biigotrous. cause of guys every which way being deemed inappropriate, we theorized that it was a form of abuse. I’m trying to prevent tragic consequences from happening to me and Trenton, and this means that my family must stay away from me and Trenton, regardless of guardianship status. They must stay out of the venue we use for our love commitment ceremony, or spiritual wedding, and they must get their priorities straight, Beth is number one and number one for me is living life the way I want to. Face Us has given me a voice where even the NFB did not. The NFB’s excuse was comorbidity with mental illness, which is still not good enough. Guardianship should be outlawed, and the only things allowed would be power of attorney, medical directives, or a living will. In my living will, I Wil have the guardianship on medical treatment overridden so that Trenton can act as a partner should, and so that if I am old and can’t do for myself, he will know what is best. Our future child or children should be taught to respect the elderly, their own parentage, and later, they could make decisions according to my will. Whether I can or not, they will have their father’s drum, and they will have their mother’s piano. Not the maiden family. They will get nothing, receive nothing, or have nothing. They won’t have anything, and I want a will so that if I do become old and frail, or if a tragedy strikes, Trenton gets all my stuff, he executes all medical treatment, etc. My parents didn’t deserve dominating their daughter in the first place because whether Irish Catholic or Italian, their oppression was nothing compared to black Africans who were shipped here for slave labor and I’m dating and about to marry one of the descendants. African Americans seem a lot more supportive than white families, and that is the truth. Thanks to Face Us, I know now that the guardianship abuse was used as a tool to impose bigotry, invade my medical privacy, and ultimately steal what I wanted. I don’t want my parents involved with children because of how they treated me, and they must pay the piper for how they did it. My children won’t be going to Florida for a vacation with us. Even when their friends talk about fairy tale lands, these children won’t be able to see such a place due to family interference with mine and Trenton’s family. If my child is given a Make A Wish trip to Give Kids the World Village, we’re going, otherwise, we won’t. Our kids deserve better support than a family on the mother’s side that doesn’t care and wishes to stamp out black people. Face Us is our family support, and we know it.