I just about cried listening to a really great interview with Jon Taffer in Vegas featuring none other than Nick Carter, a Backstreet Boy I’ve had a crush on for a few damn years. As a teenager no less. Let me telll you, I’m super proud of Nick for having done what he does now, for having a family, and that’s because I found my own place and my own partner. The thing is he has three kids, three of them just like my own family had. I would hope that his family doesn’t grow too big, after all kids cost money. Everything costs money, and it really hit me hard when I heard Nick say things about how he had lived with fame all his life. Like, since he was twelve, he had fame on his shoulders. He wants to own a bar in Key West, but truth be told, I wish he’d try stopping by here in Denver and try some of the holes in the wall we have for Mexican food. I love Mexican food, and I wish he did too. I don’t know if Nick Carter likes Mexican food, nor do I know if any of the kids like it too. I’d be glad to bring Trenton to a hole in the wall in vegas, but what good is that when we can’t fly there or do things? Vegas already has a mask mandate in place now, in six counties, twelve maybe. I just saw something about Nevada’s emergency mask ordinance. What ever I say doesn’t seem to matter.
I have a message for Nick, and I sent it on Twitter. It was short and sweet, but still I think Nick’s a great guy. I’d still meet the guy on the condition that his wife is okay with this, and that she and Trenton are there for the presence between all of us. I hope that the Mrs. Nick Carter finds herself lucky to be with him in the long run, after all there are too many celebs who get divorced, and that’s bad luck on their part. It’s a heavy load that fame puts on us, and that’s the truth. In any case, I hope Nick and his Missus do not do this sort of thing, particularly because the kids need a stable family home. I would also like to point out that I was the victim of emotional abuse for years, and now I don’t have a career aspiration because of benefits, benefits, and more benefits that the disability gravy train pretty much requires you to make below a certain amount in order to qualify to stay alive. I am trying to taper off my meds, as I am writing this I was mailed 7 mg of my medication, and I am very concerned that it could lead to Trenton not supporting me, friends running away because they feel I’m crazy, and no opportunities to have better care. I would try getting a workaday job, but again, Trenton would lose out or I would lose benefits, and the house would be filthy. I don’t particularly like cooking and cleaning because women have been forced to do that for thousands of years, and I’m reading this women’s history book. It shows how the Father God complex put women below a man. That doesn’t fly with me because this Father God complex could hurt those who worship the Goddess, something I totally believe in. I want to believe there is a way to compromise but my family would never understand. I would hope they don’t read this because they don’t get it. I am not inferior to men, and I certainly don’t think cooking and cleaning is my destiny. I’m not an unpaid maid or servant, and thanks to the discharge of the guardianship, I’m happily on my way to recovering the pieces of my life taken away by guardianship Marriage and children are the two things I want to do, but providing for the kids like what Nick carter does is going to be something hard and tough because nobody will hire a 40 something woman who has no resume and no job skills to do entertainment. I had all my accomplishments in high school, but was never allowed to pursue entertainment as a career. Nick, I am proud of your interview, and Jon is a cool dude. Keep at it, because one day, there will be a Denver Queen on stage, and you won’t know who I am, you won’t know what I’ve done. It won’t be the classical pianist or the teenage Catholic who was doomed to fail at everything. This time, I will bee the new me, transformed by freedom. Thanks for your interview.
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