A couple of items to clean up before I go insane

Dear readers,

I wrote something I probably should clarify. When I mentioned immigrants in Minnesota last year, as I was talking about recovery and therapy and how a disabled person can get the right tools they need, I wanted to point out a couple of things. But I didn’t have time to do this. One, Minnesota and especially Minneapolis, Minnesota, is the largest Somali diaspora in the United States as far as I know. My ex was a Somali born American citizen and he knows about it. The thing with some if not most immigrant groups of Somalis and certain kinds of Muslim families is that they go by a really antiquated system of honor. It’s all about that one stupid H word that is written in my earrings: honor. Let me explain what a Somali girl in Minnesota might face.

If she is six or seven, as in the Marehan clans, or even five or four, as in some other clans of the greater tribes, she is cut. Yes, I mean, razor between the legs and all that bad stuff. It’s a dangerous ritual that perpetuates the purity myth which hurts little girls and women all over Africa and the world. We should be banning FGM, female genital mutilation, very soon. In Denver, I haven’t seen so much as a lady lift a razor to a little girl’s genitalia, but it is still a dangerous ritual. Certain sects of islam prefer to cut the girl as young as six, and I read an article about such a dangerous ritual performed on one such girl by a female pediatrician, one who might have been passed off as a cutter. The cut, the girl called it, was known as a Patna, and it was a dangerous ritual that left the poor young woman sexually handicapped in a lot of ways. Men get all the pleasure in some areas of the world, and it bothers me that women can’t experience that same pleasure. When a woman’s clitoris is removed, it really messes up her body and makes it altogether difficult to bear a child, and one woman I read the memoir of did just that. Fadumo Korn was married and had several children, she was a big time activist with Somali women and is against FGM. The cutting of girls is illegal and can be prosecuted as child abuse, of course.

This is a harmful custom that should never be legal in the United States, as is another custom I’m about to discuss. Child or forced marriage.

In Massachusetts, it is legal for thirteen-year-olds to get married, but what is the point! The Ayaan Hirsi Ali foundation has written and spoken with a lot of girls whose stories are told on their website, http://www.theahafoundation.org/

The AHA Foundation tells one such story of a girl in the Virgin Islands, now this is not Muslim but still Muslims do this anyway. The girl dreamed about marrying a good man and wearing a mermaid gown, so the story goes, but she ended up traumatized, forced to serve a sexual abuser’s purpose. This is child marriage, a perversion of what marriage truly is, which is the love between two consenting adults of either the same or differing genders. So what if it’s a gay marriage? It must be done between two consenting adults, that means eighteen. I’ve heard from an old friend and a cousin of my ex that there are young girls, eighteen in fact, or even sixteen who agree to marry a guy old enough to be their grandfather. I can’t stand the idea of being married to an old man, so why should any other girl or woman think of this? This is a cross cultural issue, and there is data to suggest that child marriage only makes the poverty system cycle a lot more vicious in scope. Immigrant groups who want to practice child marriage or honor related violence and crimes such as the one that killed Nur AlMaleki in Arizona should definitely not be allowed here. Mr. Maleki was a vicious psychopath who was bred in a culture that said, I will kill my daughter if she doesn’t submit to all the men in her life, and doesn’t marry the guy who’s desperate for a green card. That kind of violence is accepted in Maleki’s culture because it has been the linchpin of such education of girls since time .began.

Let me explain the signs and symptoms of honor violence as given to me through the AHA’s honor violence course. There are some obvious ones and on another hand, not so obvious ones.

 

  1. You have a fourteen-year-old client, for example, who says, “I’m engaged.” Jump in and ask questions about the guy she’s engaged to, and ask whether she chose this or not. Likely, she did not.
  2. The parents act like total psychopathic stalkers, following the girl around and threatening to pull her out of school. If you are a teacher reading this, take this seriously. If a man comes barging into your school and says, you will never see my daughter in class again, you should take this seriously. Ask if she’s going to be married, and make sure the police are called as soon as humanly possible for this to be prosecuted as child abuse.
  3. If your student, client, or customer reports that she was attacked by her brother or father, time to bring in the big guns. Honor killing is no joke, and it happens here in the U.S. Don’t forget to make sure the girl is transferred to foster care and given proper shelter and food before prosecution can begin. Make sure the man is locked up before he can carry out his crime, and there is something else to remember. IF the crime is carried out, an impartial jury will convict the man of murder and hopefully, in the first degree.

If you want to read the AHA Foundation’s website, I’ve posted it above. Please look at the stories, and realize that FGM and forced marriage are harmful customs that unfortunately, immigrant groups are bringing with them. I hate to be racist or single out groups of people because of cultural practices, but FGM and forced marriage are harmful to girls and women. Period. If the women in my life can’t read this post, and honestly stop apologizing, especially for honor killing men who want to make their daughter obey, then I don’t know what to say. Teachers and therapists should be on the look out for all this because some but not all immigrants are guilty of this. I have seen stuff about clitoridectomies in the United States in the early years of the nineteenth century. Doctors would do this to make women submit, and now they can’t do it anymore because we know what will happen to women who get this procedure done. Forcing a girl to wed when she’s too young to understand what sex is and what sex does is harmful across all groups of people, but the immigrants in Somalia who come here sometimes don’t get that concept. We need to do a better job of showing them through example what love looks like, in this case not cutting your daughter’s clitoris off and not marrying your young ones off as young as twelve for heaven’s sake. When a girl is fourteen or even seventeen, she should be able to think about her future on her terms, her terms only. This means that the girl can consider going to university, something Ayaan Hirsi Ali actually did. She escaped her forced marriage, but not FGM. She was subjected to this at five years old, and so was her late sister, Haweya. May God hold Haweya close as she is mourned in people’s lives, for I thought she’d get paradise in the Muslim sense, but she has rested in the arms of her goddess or maker or whatever God she believes in for years. And she could have been married too, but she did not do that either. She never went to college.

The truth of the matter is that not all immigrant groups bring harmful practices to our nation’s soil, but we need to root out all patriarchal crap from all groups of human beings, including but not limited to violence against women and disabled women, girls, and minorities. We need to smash the entire system to the ground and create a cooperative union that includes and lets people have what they need. Jobs are going to be lost to automation, a topic I could cover in another post, so we need to think about a myriad of different things like universal income, universal suffrage, universal everything. We need to set the adult age limits at eighteen, period. This includes child marriage, and if any man wanted me at seventeen, I’d turn in the guy for statutory rape charges. Period. Whether the girl wants it or not, seventeen-year-old children do not need to have sex with forty-year-old adults who are obviously entitled, male, and patriarchal, and don’t get it at all. Here are some examples of girls who might have ended up in statutory rape situations. In fact, here’s two words for you: porn actresses. Those girls in the pro amateur porn flicks you watch every day could be nineteen, sure, but did they get exposed to a culture of sexual dominance by men? Surely they must have, and the violent porn against teenage young adults is frightening. Watch Hot Girls Wanted on Netflix for more on pro am porn.

Of course, the immigrants are probably not going to watch porn a lot, some will just like some won’t. However, one must take into account that tickling is fine with me, but if I were to create a glorious queendom of women and girls around this old world, here’s what I’d see:

  1. No male dominant pornographic films.
  2. No FGM or forced marriage.
  3. Gays and lesbians would live alongside their straight peers and not get swallowed up in hate crimes.
  4. Women would no longer have to face being sold for bride prices all over the place.
  5. Catalogue bride services would be illegal especially in areas where the men take advantage of women and girls.
  6. Ninety day fiancé? Well, that’s a pushover. But I never liked some of the men on there, and some of the women would be totally not sure of themselves either. But ninety day fiancé would not highlight the exploitation of foreign folks for gain, especially foreign women. A lot of those brides are Russian, Colombian, and other immigrant groups looking to snag a visa as far as I’m concerned. The ninety day thing is too much of a rush. Maybe TLC should get better ideas for shows that don’t encourage, for lack of a better word for it, mompetition’s, competitions among mothers about being mothers. And over sexualizing girls will be illegal.
  7. Girls will take karate class in school, and they will be the most badass girls in the queendom.
  8. All the CEO’s and chairpersons of committees would be either female or sexual minorities, but because males are exhibiting less and less of the ability to lead, less of those on the top rungs of ladders.

There’s so much I’d throw in to my queendom, but you all should know, since this would not be a kingdom, I would never allow a male to rule over my world. Ever. Trenton for example. He’s just a handsome prince. That’s all, and he won’t be any further than Prince Philip was in Queen Elizabeth II’s world. She is pretty badass if you ask me.

Thank you all for reading, and I will clarify anything that needs clarifying.

Beth

Where’s All Your Evidence?: The Finale Which Could Bring Us to a Trial

Dear readers,

My life is not that miserable, and the troll called Marshmallow asked for evidence of my accusations. Well, there’s no need to ask about that because there’s evidence of many attacks on females with disabilities within families that goes unbelieved and unheard because of family concerns about ripping the family apart. My parents wanted me to shut up about guardianship so they could hide their true nature, the abusive pattern of emotionally cutting me down as a blind female. If you want evidence of my ex, Jason Owens’s wrongdoing then you need to first look at the stats on females with disabilities, ask Jason what he did and to admit that what he did and how he feels and what he does based on how he feels is wrong, and you also need to understand the reasons why he’s not in jail, and I’ve reported this a million times but nobody believed me. Nobody heard my voice, until Jason sent me a threatening email that has since been deleted and it’s long overdue for deletion anyway. The email said to stay away from his then girlfriend Jennifer and that he was “coming for” me. Whatever that means, that is exactly why Jason is not welcome to do anything at all pertaining to me. I want to be believed and in my kind of world, females with disabilities would not be subjected to this trolling behavior. I am not trying to ruin Jason’s life, he did himself by ruining girls with disabilities and targeting me and my friends for harassment and bullying of all kinds, and telling me and my friends to stop talking to me or other friends. Is that a nice thing to do? In kindergarten, we learn how to make friends and we also should be learning to judge character, not looks. However, we also learn some pretty stupid societal crap: girls wear pink and boys wear blue, for example. Or, girls are quiet, and boys are daring. We also pick up things about people throughout grade school, but kindergarteners oftentimes have better judge of character, even of their own teachers. Kids in k-12 schools are trying to make a bigger diference in this world too, especially in high schools. Look at the kids at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida, and what they went through. It’s guys like Jason who make me wonder how the MSDHS students can keep kicking and screaming, “End gun violence.” It’s guys like Jason, whose personality is morphed to that of a high school senior or even a freshman, who never graduated and yet why I fell for him, I’ll never understand. But I’d take one of the things that an MSDHS student might say about the situation stated here. It’s guys like him who could potentially rape someone, attack a school, or kill a bunch of minorities. Georgia is ruled by whites, yet there are so many blacks in the population. Stacey Abrams is a very ardent voting rights activist who will one day pop some serious buttocks in Georgia and maybe even take over the world, so that guys like our questionable subject herein will shut up and stop making fun of mentally disabled/ill people, disabled people and so on. And by the way, the MSDHS students are a lot more mature and ready to fight a strong one against those who are pro gun in Florida, more so than Jason would have been willing and able to fight a war for women’s rights. Jason might have agreed with my brothers, and my brother Tommy made a sick joke one day. He said, and I quote, “Waht’s the biggest joke in America?” I wondered, and he said, “Women’s rights.”

Well, women and their rights is no big joke. I tell you who and what is a big joke. Jason and his trolls. They are the joke. I have a right to write on here, and this is my blog. I have a right to compare Jason to some immature student at a school if I want. Because there’s no need for evidence because I lived it. I lived to see a drunken young man, sleeker than he should be, lying beside me in bed at night. IF I had to write a haunting novel based on the events that occurred between us, I will. To hell with trolling, and to hell with the way you treat your fellow bloggers, Mr. or Ms. Marshmallow, you are not going to accuse me of ruining someone’s life when he did it himself by being a total jerk. Not even a soda jerk for heaven’s sake, a J-e-r-k. What’s that spell? Jerk. What’s that defined as? LEt’s see: a jerk is a guy who doesn’t treat a woman with any respect. A jerk is a guy defined in TLC’s song No Scrub. And that chorus rings true. A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me. Simple as that.

I’m sick of writing about this subject, but let’s face this fact. I will not be silenced, I will not be quiet, I will be quiet no more. I will not take the harassment, bullying, trolling, asking for old recordings and evidence which Jason is privy to himself, and moreover, I will not stay silent as my sisters with disabilities are attacked by this young man. This needs to stop, the elitist “Where’s the evidence?” bullshit and everything else in between. I’m done. You guys, if you are supportive, I will not write this lightly, but I’m going to post a simple copy of this on Twitter and Facebook so that people understand. Do not stand up for bullying, bigotry, and abuse of women with disabilities. Do not stand up and demand my evidence because the man in this case might have distributed this evidence around the Internet, attempting to ruin me and my character brand. Since you are no use to me, trolls and minions alike, I’m not shutting down this blog, but I will shut you all down. Trolls who don’t identify themselves will be marked spam or blocked or blacklisted. I’m sorry, but I have to mark the comments I receive on this post, with the exception of Frijolic14 and other friends I know who actually give a crap, as spam. If you want the evidence, go to the man and survey the computer tower and tear apart his room. Have the police search it, and I will not come to Georgia for a trial if he’s arrested for distributing illicit audio or child porn. I won’t be there to watch the shackles on his wrists tighten as the bailiff leads him out of the room, and the judge, a black man might say, “Get the defendant out of the courtroom.” I will not bow down to any man’s word, and until you learn to quit trolling me online, I will not sit here silent and complacent, but even after you end your reign of terror, I will not end the reign of peace.

Beth

Transgender Rights are Human Rights

Dear readers,

If you have ever watched documentaries like Growing Up Coy, you would understand transgender people and their rights. For one thing, transgendered people are amazing, and they’re just as human as the ones who aren’t so why worry. If you need support, and you are a transgender person or youth who are gay or bisexual, please visit the Trevor Project and click the help link.

http://www.thetrevorproject.org

Please feel free to call or text them as well. When we support and care for the rights of transgender youth and adults alike, we save lives.

Beth

Do Not Call Me What You Called Me, So Please Shut Up and Drive Home

Dear readers,

The following is a response to a comment I received about defamation concerns. Guess what? Jason is a defamer himself, and he makes fun of folks with mental and physical ailments. I’m sorry, but the comment was trashed on account of calling me a psychotic lunatic. I will not have people call me names like this. Marshmallow, the person who commented on the post, will be on blacklist if this happens again. Jason would be considered probably worse than a Commander Lawrence from the Handmaid’s Tale, and maybe a lot worse than Fred Waterford. So please, shut up and drive home. If you are the person who commented on the post, and your real name is not revealed, you will be blacklisted. I know only two people who write decently on my blog, one is a guy from Australia I’ve been friends with forever. Another one is from Massachusetts, and she’s friends with me and my current love. What you all don’t realize is that those who troll will not reveal their real names, but I do know the guy’s username, the Aussie one. He doesn’t do that kind of thing, so yeah. Just shut up and drive. In any case, I’m going to tell you all what this Jason fella is capable of. This person claims they know him well, but they just might not understand the darker side of him, the side that says, you are a female whose place is under that of a man.

 

  1. Jason is transphobic, homophobic, and blackophobic, whatever that means. Racist. He is racist, antigay, anti transgender rights, and so many other things it ain’t even funny. Why stand up for that?
  2. Jason raped a dead friend of mine, and tried to impregnate another. She told me herself, she’s alive.  Standing up for predators and people who are anti everything and bigotrous is not allowed here because bigotry hurts people.
  3. Jason made fun of every word I said, honestly he did this. He made fun of my mental health diagnostics, something insensitive to the mentally ill and not good for this society as a whole. People who do this are saying, “I’m insecure, I’m stupid, and moreover, I’m mentally deranged myself.” He needs a lot of meds and therapy to get over this making fun of mentally ill people.
  4. Jason is spoiled, spoiled to the point of living in a smoke filled home, from what a friend told me, no name here, the personage that is Jason lives in a home filled with cigarette stains, smoke, and things that are bad for a child with rare heart conditions. Jason doesn’t eat healthy, duh. He doesn’t like to eat most foods, which is bad. He just doesn’t get it, I tried to be nice to him, but he also cheated on me. See next item.
  5. Jason is known to cheat on girls, cheat on them with either the late Jennifer, whose soul I will continue to pray gets to Heaven soon, or is there, and Alana, who is HIV positive, and I don’t know if she takes care of herself. I have a buddy in Denver Women’s Chorus who would say that using Alana the way Jason does is stupid. Alana is a living victim, so I won’t name any more, but she is still HIV positive, and scientifically speaking can infect the man. Jason doesn’t get it. I’ve tried to report this stuff to police in that area, and they refuse to believe me or find the subject of terror I’ve been worried about for years.
  6. I’ve been with a man for four and a half or so years now. This man’s name is Trenton, not Jason, and I will not submit to character defamation lawsuits for that reason. Jason did have recordings and sound bytes of us, things he shouldn’t have. He’s used those bytes on TeamTalk, having had his channel taken down. Jason had this done so that he could continue spouting diatribes about me to friends of mine and his alike, and that is awful. I’m sorry, but I’ve heard the same pattern of abuse and abusive behaviors from others. I had a friend tell me he made fun of her, tried to get her pregnant and then told her he hated her because she was Asian, etc etc. Another friend never had sexual relations with him, but she said things about him that were in comparison to what I say almost completely true. The girl had different experiences, but she said Jason was creepy the same way another guy was creepy. She compared Jason to a guy she knew from way back in the day, and it didn’t surprise me that it was real and it happened.

For those who want to comment on this post, first and foremost,

  1. No name calling at all, including those names that are insensitive to the mentally ill, disabled, or other minority groups.
  2. Do not stand up for Jason and his bigotry. I have friends in the Denver Women’s Chorus who are gay, bisexual, transgender, and so on, and they are working hard for a concert weekend, which I’m part of. I’m serious, just don’t stand up for this man. It looks bad for my friends, and he would want them all killed and so on, so just don’t.
  3. Read the Handmaid’s Tale and the Testaments, both works of feminist literature, and understand the psychopathy is not mine, but the males who are psychopaths, those who want to draw babies out of young women who are not their own wives, and the guardians and eyes and every other male are psychopathic, just think about it. The aunts are a bit like that, but in the Testaments, the three women who narrate the story will intersect, so read and find out how and why. Also, think about it. It is not safe for any girl or woman in the state of Georgia, and if she miscarries, she’d be punished by a no good governor who signed all this anti woman legislation to law.
  4. Think about the pain it took for your mother to bring you into this world, and think about the pain I had to go through as a woman. I will bring children into this world, though not the children of an abusive ex who doesn’t get it. You all need to be aware that my mom said this phrase very well, your mother brought you into this world, and she can take you out of it. Do not read this blog unless you are willing to stand up for what is right. And Jason doesn’t stand for what is right.

Beth

Concert Weekend Overview: Make Them Hear You

Dear readers,

I’m a busy working woman but not getting paid to sing with the Denver Women’s Chorus. This is not supposed to be an elitist club, but there might be those who say it should be because the dues are expensive, no retreat scholarships, and so on. However, I managed to do the dues with scholarship, then I managed to get the retreat and costume fees paid, which total in $50. For you blind musicians who are fluent in Braille music, there would be absolutely no way that anyone could translate the music into Braille without increasing costs. That’s the problem, and I don’t want to focus on it now. What I do want to focus on, however, is the fact that the chorus has sung something amazing. I also want to talk a bit about MLK’s vision and how we’re doing with it.

First and foremost, I’d like to think J. E. Pinto for being the enthusiastic audience to the concert, as well as anyone else who’s ever been to a concert with the Denver Women’s Chorus. I personally had a lot of adventures with this music, so to hear the great commentary from people about the music was uplifting and great stuff all around. Let me say that we weren’t perfect, but then again, not a single concert is perfect. I’ve been in marching band concerts and festivals where people’s drumsticks split, and people’s clothes almost fell off and stuff. This is absolutely one of the better days I’ve seen. While nobody’s drumsticks split apart, nobody’s outfits were weird, uniformity was observed all around. I must say though that I almost came to Brighton with a mismatched knee-high, and I had one white and one black one on. Ugh. I almost didn’t have a pair of dark blue jeans, solid with no glitter or sparkles or anything, just a damn solid dark blue. Someone was able to pull that through, and my wardrobe needs a serious makeover anyway.

Then there was the food sauce stain that almost ruined my blouse. Ugh. If only if only I wasn’t eating and if only the sauce didn’t drip on my blouse, but oh well, my superhero choir members jumped in, and yes, I vow that I will buy a huge thing of shout wipes and pens to keep the stains off and all that stuff. Yes, fab, tide, and shout pens are your best friend.

Anyway, enough of my mishaps. Mark said we did good, and he’s the artistic guy. He’s the one who conducts, and seriously considers all the notes the choir gets every time we perform. I personally enjoy the diversity of women that I perform with in the DWC, but there’s something else I would like to share. J.E. Pinto liked the concert a lot, and also shared a recording of one of our songs, but done by Sweet Honey in the Rock. We did a choral version of Ella’s Song, a song with words by a black woman suffragette, which I love that song.

This brings me to another point before I get further into voting rights. Martin Luther King Jr. Day is today, and it honors the memory of a black man who stood up to white power bosses who wanted to eliminate civil rights, still happening today. I wish that Richmond in Virginia would please cancel the gun rally because of the number of white hooded supremacists hanging out at that rally, some of whom would have gone but were arrested by the FBI and identified. MLK would be proud of this.

There’s one thing I don’t like, however. MLK Jr. would have been furious to know that blind and black and gay all mean a barrier to enjoying the lives we want. My fiancé is African American, some splashes of Blackfoot and part Florida Seminole. Okay, that doesn’t shock me, but what doesn’t also shock me anymore is the killing of black mothers’ sons. As stated in Ella’s song, we can’t rest until freedom comes. We won’t stop until true equality is achieved. And even if Commander Judds show up to try to silence us, I say, just put those bastards in the trash and tell them they must submit to our wisdom, our feminine knowledge and teachings. Why? Because I don’t want some white dude sticking his spare parts up my spare parts and reading some justified mean scripture in which Rachel and Leah fight over kids, and get the maidservants involved. I will not be silenced, told not to read or write, or worse, told to bow subserviantly to men. Any man who demands that my body belong to him can grow his own, and try carrying a child and having a stick up his so yeah, it’s a difficult process for a woman to do it. Imagine a male person trying to understand where women come from.

Anyway, enough with the Handmaid’s Tale references here, but to prove a point, I want to state that the killing of women, black people, and disabled people must matter as much if not more than the killing of a frilly white dude who sits there playing golf and not paying attention to what his countrymen want. I’m probably the most militant feminist on the block, but I had to find my voice, had to differentiate between good and bad stuff, good and misinformation. Now, what will happen if we sit quiet and don’t speak?

We will have white men running the show, and the Proud Boys are much like the Commanders of Gilead, and they are ruthless in their pursuit of pleasure at the expense of woman’s dignity and comfort. Let’s just say this: I won’t be a Martha, handmaid, wife, or anything else, neither will our daughters or granddaughters. I will not rest until I make for darn sure my gay and queer friends are not hanging on walls, and where justice is served, I want it served on a golden platter with fries on the side. My friends who can’t stand up for themselves, those whose words fall on deaf ears should know this: I’m stronger than you think. I’m not gonna have a gunman stride into the Central Presbyterian Church and say something rather stupid, where the end of our rights is concerned. Yes, I worry, but I do have a reason to. It’s a five letter word I won’t write here, but to be fair, the guy is a menace to our country and he emboldens hate groups to take up the cause of killing perfectly good people.

Let’s just say that if my fiancé were killed, I’d be at the courthouse screaming justice because he is a black mother’s son. And I’d demand a high price on the head of the man who does this, since I’m blind and isolated and I’d have been even more lonely if Trenton hadn’t come into the picture. He’s amazing, sweet, loving, full of life. But there’s a fat chance that someone who doesn’t like him could do something to him and I’d have to be responsible for it.

If any of my other friends, friends I’ve come to know and love, were aced and speared by such ruthless people, I’d want to make for darn sure that well, let’s just say I’d make it plain that anyone caught in my house trying to perform things like this so called ceremony and so on will have to face trial for what I would call ceremonial violence, which is a book title too. Though the ceremonial violence I’ve thought of is actually the rape of women who are used as reproductive surrogates. This must end. All surrogate mothers should be paid, and the whole process should include insemination, which would be a lot more comfortable than having to lay in the lap of a ruthless wife while a commander unzips his fly and does what he does. The woman who chooses to be a surrogate carrier is already paid a certain amount anyway by insurance companies, and Kim Kardashian has used surrogates to have her kids. She can’t honestly be pregnant because it would kill her anyway. Kanye and Kim are lucky, however, and so many others are not.

What would a moral and pure society look like? I’ll tell you what it would look like without being weird, but let’s say that the number one emblem of equality is the right to vote. We are currently experiencing an attack on voting rights. Florida wants to tax the shit out of felons who get their rights restored, but that’s just not right. There are women who are routinely disenfranchised from the ballot box and must be allowed to speak. Let me say that we sang a beautiful commission piece about that. But does anyone know that the voting rights of blind people are under attack as well? Voter registration is often done by paper, and there are those who say well, fuck blind people because they are stupid. So they want all ballots to be paper print ones, but Utah took a step forward by allowing blind people to vote by app on a phone. Where we are failing is this entirely. I want an app that allows me to vote in an election, so that some ruthless Republican does not accidentally mark the wrong thing in a mail in ballot. Braille ballots are great, but you still have to mark the darn thing. People are trying to talk voter fraud and security, but here’s the problem: I think Trump doesn’t like anyone but himself. He might use the mighty I word a million times in a speech, misquote and misstate a lot of other things, and lie about where we are in American life. I’d like to tell the president that if he knows what’s good for him, resign, Commander Judd. Seriously, this commander better resign before Gilead becomes a reality.

We sang a lot of great songs at the concert, but what happened when we sang What Happens When a Woman was phenomenal. I’ll tell you what I’d do if a woman takes power, especially if it was me.

  1. I’d outlaw antiabortion groups from harassing women and girls outside clinics. It’s their damn body, people, and it belongs to them, not you. That’s what I’d tell the rest of those folks.
  2. I’d give Native Americans free houses, and grants would be open to pay the mortgages of any Native who is unable to obtain employment based on not only American indigenous identity, but disability as well. I’d also have to figure out how to restructure the laws about who qualifies for low income housing, and allow felons and those who commit nonviolent drug offenses to have housing because we have so much damn homelessness. I’d start this process in Denver, changing what it means to also be disabled and unemployed in the process.
  3. I’d also tackle the rent rate problem in states like California, and I’d assist the Californian government in making sure that there’s plenty of power and help all the country’s power companies keep electricity on, especially for people dealing with disability, who might need to charge a power chair and so on. Then there’s the issue of electricity powering things like my Mac, my friend and her phone, and oh so many other things. I have a friend who lives in Palm Desert who loves to bake, but she can’t bake without electricity. Before you say, “Well, she can make a fire and use a camp grill in place of the stove”, think again. Not a safe option, according to a lot of experts. My knowledge of this is quite clear. We need electricity to be powered on for all the time someone lives in a home or apartment building, and disabled customers in places like California and other states with wildfire danger must in any case of a power knockout get huge discounts on the bill. I hope PG&E is doing its part, but if I take over, they better do their darnedest or they could be liable for gross negligence of persons with disabilities. I’d make that charge a thing, and that would lead to the next item.
  4. If I took power in the capital, there would not be a single nursing home that would not go noodling under the radar because so many elders need our help. Elderly and disabled voters would get that long awaited app, and I’d say, “Fuck voter security for this moment. You are being inconsiderate.” Then I’d turn around and help app devs design an app for disabled U.S. voters, and it would have a registration thingy that would register you to vote online. No excuses, we’d have the hottest votes ever, and we’d certainly be able to cast private ballots at home.
  5. I would shackle Old Mr. Orange and put him in jail for the crimes he committed against immigrants, children, and the disabled primarily because he could continue influencing hateful groups out there. I’d demand that all hate groups register as hate groups, and when they are seen as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, there would be some rules about not funding these groups. There’d be lots more Terrorist orgs under my watch, including the Proud Boys, any white hate groups that want to shoot down women’s and black people’s rights. I’d even go so far as to keep all hate groups off federal property, including the White House. I would have to make for darn sure that if you want to form a 501c3 org, it would have to go toward the cause you care about, not a hate org. I’d have to label some of the Christian groups like the Family International a terrorist org because of the hateful things they say about homosexuals and such. I’d have a few different things, write a rubric about what a good group looks like, what a proper charity and tax exempt group does and is. Yes, people would shoot me in the foot for this, but we have to get the hate groups under control so that people can live safely.
  6. On another point dealing with hate groups, I’d eliminate the KKK and other groups and their funding sources, including certain churches. Yes, there might be churches who fall under level 1 Hate group status, and I’ll talk about levels next. But I’d have to outlaw Christians and other religious churches from sending money to antigay orgs, and like in the prior item, the money would have to go toward correcting a social injustice, something like feed the poor, feed the poor, feed the homeless or the poor, help the disabled get housing. What ever!
  7. There would be three tiers in hate groups I’d have to put on a database registry kind of like sex offender levels, but it helps some with classification. Let’s start with level 3. Level 3 is a moderately hateful group that despises certain people, is elitist, and is caught up in a hate filled agenda to preach against things like homosexuality and marriage equality for disabled and homosexuals alike. Level 3 groups might include a lot of Christian churches that say that “We’re not going to accept and love you for being gay etc.” Or it might be a church that panders its congregants for too much money, and yet does nothing but pay its own way. Churches should be less elitist and more socially accepting. Mile High church is not at all a hate group. I would not classify DWC as a level 3 hate group either, neither would first Mennonite or Soar. Those groups are fine, safe, and exempt from such status.
  8. Level 2 hate groups are a bit worse, and they’d include the Proud Boys and KKK or some NeoNazi groups. It all depends on what the group’s agenda is. But some groups like this would be considered level 2 if they applaud violence, but don’t act on it, and these groups would have supported Terrorist or level 1 hate orgs. See next item.
  9. Level 1, the worst hate groups in America, support terror and fear and do commit violence as well as applaud it. Such groups might include an arm of the Proud Boys and members of the KKK and a Mafia family. Groups like this would be ineligible for all government funding, and no, the Catholic Church would not be classified as a hate group per se, but I’d end tax exempt status for that church because of the virginity propaganda that hurts many females with disabilities. See next item.
  10. All schools, including private ones, would have to have a safe sex workshop. Don’t growl at me, if you are a St. Teresa alumnus, listen up. The whole thing about morality is wrong, and the whole sex before marriage is bad thing is also wrong. Why? 85% of females with disabilities will be raped this year. We need to teach consent for both sexes, and all the LGBTQI+ students who enter for a good education can learn about the religion, but do not impose it on anyone. So what if you’re private? Offer scholarships to low income Catholics who want to enroll their kids, but no more of this virginity propaganda. It hurts girls who are raped, and it hurts those who could be sexually assaulted in college. We’re not handmaids, of course, so please don’t preach about the book of Genesis, and don’t expect me to pick up a bible any time soon.

What would a good and just society look like? I’ll tell you what it would look like.

  1. Women rule. That’s right, so back off boys.
  2. Women would be allowed to be themselves and buy vibrators at adult stores, even in the most backwoods states like Florida and … Kay Ivy, are you listening?, Alabama.
  3. Women would not have to worry about being raped on a date or god forbid at a frat party in college. Boys would treat girls like goddesses, and because of this, they’d never force them into having sex and shame them if they do or don’t. We’re not prudes, okay? We’re not sluts, okay?
  4. Women and men alike would read and write. Aunt Lydia, are you so insolvent and listening that you want to raise that baton? Don’t raise that stun baton yet, because I’m writing this and you’re just a character of imagination, but you better not pop out into the world I live in … Women can read, and write, and do many things that men can. Right?
  5. When a woman is eighteen, she goes to college, or doesn’t. If she does or doesn’t, she might meet a cute guy on the street, marry him with both parties consenting, and so on. If she likes ladies, I’d be fine with that. Traditional marriage is off the table, and for most women, we want the choice to be there.
  6. When a woman leads a country or provincial principality, she leads with love and empathy. She roots out hate and shows the people what love looks like.
  7. Babies who are disabled will be given homes that absolutely foster their potential independence.
  8. Babies born out of wedlock are never bastard children, but in my kind of world, the DNA doesn’t lie.

Thank you all for reading my rants, but trust me, this concert weekend, think about all the things you want to do. I’ll tell you what I want to do:

 

  1. I want to write this blog without judgment.
  2. I want to read The Testaments without having my finger cut off.
  3. I want a concert weekend that is empowering and awesome, with women and guys attending who understand what we need or want.
  4. I want to sing, “What Happens When a Woman”, and give it all I have, without a gunman striding in and saying, “No, your bodies are all mine.” Nope, that guy is going to be somewhere quite miserable and stuff.
  5. I want an opinion and not have to please anyone, because that’s just me.
  6. If anyone wants to lend me Aunt Lydia’s stun baton, please do so I can stun a few of the bad guys, not the innocent women in our land. I’d only use it for self defense reasons, especially for being blind and all.

Thank you again for those who went to the concert. I’d be happy if the concert weekend of this week went by with no incident, so there you go.

Sincerely,

Beth

Kill 14c: Why Goodwill Is No Option for Blind People and Other Job Matters

Dear readers,

It took a bit of processing to write this, but one man who commented on my post about my commitment ceremony suggested the worst possible outcome for myself and my fiancé. He said we should work at Goodwill. First and foremost, we need a meaningful living wage, and Goodwill cannot provide that because of a few things:

  1. It is a section 14c workplace environment. Colorado does not particularly like those, and the DVR of Colorado might have changed their tune about Bayaud Enterprises too, but both Goodwill and Bayaud employ severely disabled people for a little bit of money. We need a modest income to get a modest living arrangement, and a modest sum of money means a lot of that plus we need benefits to keep a family together. None of these things is available at Goodwill, not for blind and multiple disabilities clientele.
  2. Goodwill may lay off workers quicker than McDonald’s.
  3. Section 14c permits, in my opinion, the enslavement of disabled people because they are disabled. The National Federation of the Blind and the American Council of the Blind, and many other disability advocate groups besides, are all seeking to phase out this little piece of hell for disabled people.

As a blind and mentally traumatized woman, I’m not atypical among disabled females. Many disabled females are abused as children, some even molested as children. While childhood abuse and molestation are not direct reasons not to work, they are almost very hard to manage in adulthood. Imagine saying to your boss, “I need a couple hours because therapists want to see me.” You just have to be honest with your boss. If you have frequent doctor appointments, then what? This is why I don’t feel comfortable sharing some information with people about mentally ill symptoms and all. I don’t feel comfortable sharing information about why I should work, and there are reasons why I would work. Here they are:

  1. My kids would be in a modest house with a better neighborhood, safe from drugs and gangs, and I could afford to use the money to take them on vacation. With no money, SSI only, and no prospects for a job, the kids would never see a theme park vacation, Elitch’s or Elitch Gardens included. Any theme park vacation to me must include a modest amount of roller coaster rides, and there’s a little park in Lakewood, but it nickels and dimes you to death for tickets and how the hell am I to make sure that the tickets are well spent? Kids and families should not go without a road trip or some sort of vacation. Out of state vacations are important because then guess what the kids do? See next item, but they learn.
  2. More money equals better schools for the kids. I can’t imagine them in a dropout factory. I don’t have children, but a lot of the poorer areas of Denver may not have the resources to help a mixed race female let alone a male child who can’t read a book because “Mommy and daddy can’t see the print on my school assignments.” I want to see a club like Books and Bros here in Denver too, so that if I should have a little bro in my life, he can read books about his own people, study hard and be motivated to do well in school. However, even homeschool kids have to pay a huge sum of money to get books, crayons, pencils, the list goes on. I would prefer to be the one staying at home so the child can learn, not a strange nanny or eau pair who can’t figure out how to train a dragon much less a child. And a lot of times, you have to be careful with who you hire to do this work.
  3. Low income jobs means my kid or kids will go to care places, childcare or daycare which will or could take a toll on the children’s behavior should a traumatizing event happen to them. I’ve seen enough of the daycare worker headlines: toddler in daycare hanged by worker, for example. And there are times when daycare workers don’t do their jobs right, and who needs Care? The site, better known as care.com, is rife with problems. Consider it a Craig’s List for daycare provisions with children in mind. I would never want a child in the hands of a stranger, especially when the child is newly born and getting used to bonding with mom and dad. Daycare disrupts the bonding process, and if abuse occurs at any daycare facility, there’s a lot of stuff to blame.
  4. Many low income workers have cars, car insurance, gas, etc. Since we don’t have that kind of money to afford a car, forget it. We could never transport a child to school, daycare, or much less sick day appointments. How the hell does anyone expect us to take a bus with a car seat? Strollers must be folded prior to boarding, announces the Denver bus system for example. However, we could use a double handled stroller, one we can pull instead of push but then again, where to find it? Slings are important for a baby too, and toddlers should at the earliest stage learn to hold hands with an adult, any grownup for that matter so that safety and security are of importance. When they turn ten, we can quit holding hands with the child, making sure they walk about a foot away from us, maximum that is. But still, we need a way to transport the child to doctor visits, Grandma’s house, all kinds of things that children should be able to go to without issue. In this world of child abductions, human trafficking being somewhat the norm in Atlanta’s airport, I can’t take chances if I allow a child to run and play outside without my supervision. And if the child needs to go to school, I absolutely must find a school within walking distance, learn the route to the school, and take my kids or kid there every morning. There may not be a need for this if the school exhibits no interest in curbing bullying. More on this in the next item.
    1. Bullying is a big problem in schools these days. We would need to know by communicating only with a child or children if they’re being bullied. Anyone asked their child, “How is school?” Many parents often feel guilty if they know their child’s being bullied. What if the child becomes a bully? I don’t blame many parents, but sometimes when the child is bullied, the bully themselves are insecure and they don’t know what they’re dealing with. With females, I would have to see if she was raped in high school, especially when her fertility is at its peak time, between 12 and 25. Believe you me, I’ll have the whole sex with boys talk with her, but the big issue bugging me would be, if she comes out to the wrong person. If she told me, “Mom, I don’t like boys, I’m a lesbian.”, I’d be totally supportive, and I’d tell her about the Denver Women’s Chorus and all the Gala choruses out there, and she could end up with a nice female partner that would give her the same attention that a guy gives me right now. However, she could be bullied by girls and guys all saying things like, “Fag” and “Dike” and other things like that which could harm her. Same with a boy who wants to be a drag queen. I would support it, but what will society say? Thankfully, we have the Trevor project and Courage House in a state like Wisconsin. There are great places where the LGBTQI+ youth can find support and encouragement, but I personally want what’s best, and what’s best is letting them be who they are or wish to become. If my son said to me, “Mommy, this dress looks funny”, and I find him wearing my dress, I’d say, “Boy you look pretty flashy in that thing” but I’d never ever say anything like, “Take that off. You do look weird in that thing.” A bully might call my son a very mean slur or two, but I’d like to take the Michael approach. Michael Saddler, this guy who runs the whole show with RMAA (Rocky Mountain Arts Association) caught some guys redhanded calling him a name, and he said, “That’s Mr. Faggot to you.” I absolutely love this approach, and I’d encourage anyone who thinks that a bully can get the upper hand to somehow and in some way neutralize that. Alas, not all parents would be as supportive. Imagine what one parent might say if my daughter and I were sitting there, suppose I had a daughter and a son for instance, and the kids would say, “We went to Drag Queen Story hour.” Evangelicals among us would cringe. I cannot play with the haters, so what to do when a boy wants to be a drag queen? I’d say, let him. He should be a queen, if that’s what he wants to do. I mean, look at RuPaul. And his drag race is amazingly awesome and I’ve seen some good and bad clips from it. I prefer the bad clips because they’re funny to watch and stuff, but seeing guys like that inspires me to do what’s right by our next generation of drag queens. I say, boys, if you want to be a queen, or even a drag queen, go for it. The point here is that I want a safe environment where such a lifestyle is accepted.

In any case, I’d like to point you guys to some teachers who hate homosexuals, honestly the worst teachers I can find hate that sort of thing. As a gay person once said to me, you can’t really play nice with bigots. Even bisexual men and women will tell me the same thing. I would want my children of the future to learn about the history of being outside the supposed norms and understand that LGBTQI+ peoples are peoples too, just like all of us. And furthermore, I absolutely love the approaches that some men and women have developed in dealing with bullies, but then what happens when your child is bullied for being poor? The last thing I want to do is arrive home to find my kid hanging from the shower or ceiling or whatever. I’d scream that same way that my ex’s mom screamed when she found her son was gunned down by his then girlfriend, who later killed herself. It is widely rumored by my ex himself that it was done by a Henry rifle, otherwise he’d hear it himself. Guns are loud, but Henry rifles aren’t as loud, but they still make a sound. As it were, I would be pretty dizzy and I’d throw up if my own beloved ones were hanging in the shower, in the closet, or whatever. My child if he is gay or whatever, or if she’s lesbian, stands an 80% chance of suicide without my support, and in poverty, that support could come at a huge cost. IF I have a boy who wants to be a drag queen, I want that drag queen to be the best dressed drag queen in the nation. So what? If my child turns out to be a girl, and she wants to do what is good for her, I’m okay with that. I have friends who are supporters of transgender and gay girls and guys and nonconforming folks, and I wonder to myself, what if I had a child like that? Yes, it would at first be a shock, but I’d be prepared. I have a huge wide circle of adults who are gay/lesbian, transgender and intersex etc that would be willing to lend a hand to my future generations. And of course, they’d have a wide circle around them, a circle of love, but my job prospects are few, and I’d love to work trying to help others in some way. Here are some career possibilities.

 

  1. I’d work with school students whose parents throw them out for being gay. Of course, I’d hook them up with the Trevor Project. See below. I’d also encourage them to find a LGBTQI+ friendly adoption agency if the parent expresses no desire to have the child back. Family reunification is the norm, but some people are just not accepting of that sort of thing.
  2. I’d love to work with elders and disabled folks bonded by guardianship. Since I went through this for fifteen years, I’d be able to share my experience and together with clients who are ranging from 18 to 108, and far between, we’d fight to end the practice of what looks like slavery and human trafficking of disabled adults and kids. I’d be more than happy to help females who are disabled and elders and such, all that so that I can make the world a better place. No bullshit jobs for me, please.
  3. I would love to work with those folks no one wants to work with. Even if it means I have to train to work with sex offenders, who really should be spending their lives thinking about how to adapt to a new way of thinking and living. I would be encouraging of these folks to hold themselves accountable for their criminal behavior, but I want to script their minds so that they see how I live, how my fiancé/husband to be lives, and they would understand that interacting with kids is a very serious thing. Yes, we often forget about sex offenders on the other side of the bridge, but the victims would be important too. I’d encourage victims to step forward, of course, and I’d believe my own small victims if they came running, all saying that so and so abused them, molested them, etc. However, the only way to keep molesters from molesting again is to work with these guys, mentally change them, provide them with therapy and meds and all that good stuff so they don’t do it again. Of course, there are some who are too far gone for this, guys like John Kiui, who raped and murdered Jessica Lunsford, and boy do I understand her father’s pain. Mark lost his daughter, but it is important to know that if a predator can benefit from rehab, sure, give him rehab. However, if the life ends in the hands of the predator, then he could possibly be sent to death row. If he has murder fantasies, they have to be stopped before they are acted upon, because if a guy acts upon those fantasies, it’s hard to undo them. There’s a ton of things to consider, stuff to think about when evaluating things like this. I’d be glad to get an MSW and LCSW for all those stupid things I could find myself in, and yes, I’d be glad to do groups of folks.
  4. I’d be happy to do music therapy as a minor, and with my experience as a social work major, and a music therapy minor, I’d do music at a shelter for homeless youth. Or I could work with homeless families, and I’d be happy to help anyone who needs it.

Think about all this, and tell me why I should then consider a career in a 14c sweat shop. Ugh. Thank you for reading this, and be bold, be brave, and be strong.

Beth

What I Believe About Marriage and Disability, Our Government, and the Community

Dear readers,

I was once again given pushback for posting about my wedding on Facebook. People expect too much from me, given the following scenarios and situations I’ve been in:

  1. I was in guardianship Hell for fifteen years, five of which was spent being punished, enslaved, and isolated by my family. They wanted a chore girl if I couldn’t work outside the home, and if this were the nineteenth century, they’d have put me in a group home or institution, or married me off to a husband of lesser quality because of how they tried to view me as less than them.
  2. I’ve been called names by a girl I will not name here, but I am and I swear to God, I’m not a slut or what she called me, and I won’t take the names lying down.
  3. Because of my parents’ misuse of therapy and begging the therapists to make me less of a person, tell me to obey my parents at all costs, etc etc, like it was for my own safety, I will never allow my parents to attend my personal ceremony for myself and Trenton. They totally misused my therapy appointments and the relationships I would be having with therapists, which would primarily be therapeutic in nature, to benefit their controlling ideological bullshit about disabled women. Now they have an elder who is male and has stage I dementia, and he needs constant care because of how dangerous he could be. Males with demential symptomology might become aggressive or worse, tear things up. Awful, right? But my grandfather only has stage I. This is important to know, but he can no longer ride or drive his motorcycle, and who the hell cares about me anyway? It’s him they have to look after now, and an age related social worker might have played a part in helping him and his wife, my grandmother, move to an assistive living facility for elders in Jacksonville, Florida. Bear in mind that Florida has the worst cases of guardianship abuse on record, and if my Papa ends up in solitary at a nursing facility, it’s death to anyone who hurts him. He needs to be as close to his family as possible, but keep this in mind too. Because of his diagnosis and his wife’s health too, I’m out of the picture except to serve as a possible advocate against possible elder guardianship abuse. My parents cannot misuse the therapeutic relationships that both Papa will need and I currently have. It is important to take this into consideration because therapists are supposed to make you feel better, not put you in dangerous situations. I’m sorry, but the therapists at LaAmistad put me in a dangerous situation, and it could have been more dangerous. See next item.
  4. I was told never to see  Orien Henry because of a so called mental health crisis they made up. They also did the same to Michael Bonhomme, and they could have done this to Trenton. Sorry, people, but Loving V. Virginia was decided in 1979, and this is 2020, so you can’t ban me from marrying the person I love, guardianship or otherwise. You need to understand, quite clearly in fact, that the whole idea of not allowing a person to marry gives the guardian an opportunity to accuse their victim of stalking and harassment, both very serious charges. Trenton and I are close enough, but what if Orien had actually done what he was supposed to do and actually took me to prom? Instead of a church service, I should have had the highlight of a young lady’s life, prom. And it was denied, along with grad bash, because of disability and people being stupid and ableist and … should I coin another word for it? Behaviorist. There’s a parallel between me and my friend Clayton’s high school experience at graduation. Clayton was flat out denied the chance to walk the stage because of ableist bullshit and propaganda that could be described as anti freedom of speech, purportedly because of his rap music. Well, I would have been happy to take Clayton’s and my own complaints to the school board and said, “Give me my prom gown. Let me dance. Let Clayton walk the stage, and the principal’s fired.” I would have fired Clayton’s entire school faculty if they agreed that rap music was a threat. It’s not. Do you want to know, people who see this, what Clayton’s life was like? Almost as weird and turbulent as mine. So there you now have it.
  5. Because I have to go to counseling once a month, a dental exam and many other problems, there will never be time for work to screw me up and fill my schedule. I want a work place willing to let me go to Soar and DWC practices, not make me choose one or the other. Soar is Wednesday nights, but then you have to factor in transport. Ugh. Also, Access a Ride tickets will cost more and more each year, more so than the wages I could earn at a place one man recommended. Goodwill has had a bad rap with the NFB, and they have tried and so far been somewhat successful in trying to get rid of Section 14c. I don’t want a section 14c job, and it’s demeaning. So here’s another reason I can’t have these 14c jobs:
  6. After my ceremony, I plan to take the first time home buyers course my buddy Art recommended a billion times. We’re just friends, so we just talk a lot about stuff. But here’s the kicker: first time home buyers have to have good credit history, and first of all, I do. I’ve paid my damn rent every goddamned month on time, only once because of Trenton’s bank snafus did we miss rental payments. I have had absolutely no problems, however, paying rent. But thirty per cent of that entire gross income will go to rent, and we could lose more dollars in rent than we’re supposed to. See next item for more on the other bills. Rent sucks, and we can’t modify things in the apartment we currently have, including not have smart lights and such, and we want more control over our lives. Tech has given us that.
  7. On top of this, bills will pile up. Power is important, but if we get a house, we could do Leap. We’ll think about it.

Thanks in part to the comments I received on FB, almost nobody who commented is invited to the ceremony. I have to go now, equity and so on.

Beth