Shopping For Your Next Therapist?

Dear readers,

I looked through this blog, and I found nothing in it that I would consider a thing about how to help a patient shop for a therapist. If you’re one of those individuals who’s experiencing mental health issues because of the pandemic, here’s your place to learn about what to look for in a therapist that might befit the needs of someone, especially someone with a disability. I wrote a couple years back, maybe three or so, about what treatment providers can expect as they treat blind and disabled patients, but I want to talk about finding a therapist whether you’re doing this for the first time or doing this therapist shopping thing for a third time, fifth time, whatever. So here are some questions you should ask your therapist, especially without stepping on HIPAA.

First and foremost, is the therapist willing and able to work with disabled women without blaming the disability for their mental illness? Some people actually blame disability for mental illness, but certain factors such as trauma can cause mental illness. Take it from the patient who’s been there, done that, don’t like to necessarily go back and forth about it.

Is the therapist friendly and able to establish rapport with you? If the therapist feels awesome and starts establishing rapport with you, great. But listen to your guts as you should be doing with everybody anyway. If your gut feeling is that the therapist is not clicking, that’s okay. Move on to the next one.

Does the therapist have good credentials of any sort? Usually, the therapist will tell you what they specialize in, and they will give you their prerequisites, a la college and where they studied. For female therapists, I have a lot of experience with them, she will likely tell you what her experiences are with women and such, but if you prefer a male therapist, same deal. If you are a member of the LGBTQI+ community and are also disabled, it may be helpful to have a therapist who is also a part of the community, though it is not required. Black/African American therapists, according to some news things I came across, are harder to find than white ones, but don’t be shy about asking about a therapist’s experience with ethnic minorities, and do they come off as condescending or do they still click with you? If you’re of any ethnic minority, chances are you’ve struggled to find a therapist who meets the ethnic minority thing, but since there might not be one that meets your insuring requirements, be open and flexible about your choices.

Does the therapist have expperience with religious minorities? Ask any question you like about this, but for those in religious minorities groups, i.e. nonChristian groups, this is a highly important question. You may be experiencing some things related to religious stuff, so a therapist could help if they have experience with religious minorities.

Ask if the therapist can provide digital or Braille material if you’re totally blind and wish to participate in a group they facilitate? IF you want to participate in groups, odds are there will be papers to play with. So ask the therapist if they could email or help with transcribing the materials in to Braille, depending on your personal needs. Any therapist should be required to do so, but some will say some stuff about HIPAA and stuff and might not want to do this very much. It takes a bit of advocacy to do this, trust me I have a bit of experience with this.

When you first go into a therapy session for the first time with your new therapist, whether this is your first or tenth, be prepared for the good stuff. The therapist will introduce themselves, including name, college credentials if any, how many years experience they have, what they specialize in if applicable, and then they’ll start telling you the confidentiality credo that goes like, “If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or homicidal thoughts” and remind you that whatever you say to them is confidential except in the case of suicidal or homicidal thoughts. I actually had to say this during a simulated therapy session with a social work student in college, so yeah, I know waht this is all about. You will likely have to sign a release of records, treatment papers and a consent for treatment form is among these. You will likely be asked a barrage of questions if this is your first time with the therapist, but one Facebook user has suggested grabbing your prior records if this is your second, third, or even tenth therapist you’ve gone through. I’ve been through about five or seven, but in doctors, psychiatrists, I’ve been through at least six or seven. That’s between two mental health providers.

Also, you may need to ask the therapist about how many years experience they have with working with disabled patients, and do they have papers they can share with you about the results of their treatment methodologies regarding traumas or other types of therapy. You may want talk therapy to start, but if you have specific needs, something that you want the healthcare company to cover,, talk to your therapist. Community mental health care is good for some who can’t afford private practice, and having a casework person coordinate your treatment team is a plus especially if you feel overwhelmed, so be prepared to do the same as above with a regular therapist if you’re doing intakes for community mental health.

If you want, guys, I can do a Mental Health Clinics 101 if needed. Don’t be so surprised, but mental health is a tough road to navigate for some, and during Covid it has become exhaustive for a lot of reasons. Isolation can make people go insane, quite literally. The social distancing is something that kids aren’t taking well, especially if they have suicidal thoughts going on. I’m lucky I have a partner to do lockdown with, but it’s sad when your friends can’t just drop by for your birthday or Christmas or what have you. I hope this post helps a lot.

Beth

How Hard Is It to Process When Freedom’s Gone?

Dear readers,

A spoiler alert is in effect for Handmaid’s Tale Season II. Please skip if you haven’t seen or watched this show. However, if you have seen the show and know what came after, do read this post.

This is hard to process. Emily found out in Season II of the Handmaid’s Tale that her professor colleague was hanged and called a really bad word that refers to gay men. Emily herself is in a lesbian relationship and her Martha partner got hanged for it. Emily was forced to go to the Colonies with the so called unwomen. Same with Janine. I feel bad for Janine, and for all the Emilys out there in Afghanistan who will never see her lover again.

There is something quite different about OfFred in the handmaid’s Tale. She’s spunky and she’s ready to rebel at all costs. Now I know why a buddy of mine hates Serena, and that gal deserves the same fate as the unknown wife in the colonies who was being punished for what? Falling in love. Women are assigned in marriage in Gilead, but let me tell you where in the real world that happens. Africa, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, the entire third world, and the United States, so hell bent on “not offending cultural sensitivities” insists on legal child marriage. Let me explain why I hate this. Because little girls are too young to figure the love thing out … and too young for sex and relationships. Teenagers should never be brides, period.

The Taliban are notorious for acting just like the commanders, Sons of Jacob, in Gilead. And for those who say the Handmaid’s Tale is “irrelevant fiction”, go to Afghanistan. Try living under Taliban rules, no education, no work, just sex and breeding for you who say this who are straight females. My worst analysis of the recent scenes I saw in the Handmaid’s Tale are also true. I personally want to make sure that all my sisters and brothers in all communities outside of Christianity and Islam are safe, and the Handmaid’s Tale as I have said is a dire warning. It is a dire warning to us all, and Atwood’s book is even deeper. Need I ask that you read the Testaments?

The big thing is that Serena is about to find out how wicked she was to her handmaid, June Osborne, also known as OfFred. OfRobert, also known as Alma, had both her hands burned off. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to kill a woman like Alma. Then there was Moira, who was a Jezebel for a time, but now, boy she’s going to be very very important.

I honestly am glad we don’t have Aunt Lydias in the world, but you could say Isis’s AlHamza Brigade is similar to the aunts of Gilead, only they’re Muslim ladies with guns who force their beliefs down girls’ throats. People, if you’re not paying attention to the similarities between Gilead and Afghanistan, I don’t know what planet you’re on.

I’ll b writing an analysis of a new book by Laura bates, a book about Incels and Pickup artists and the like. I will be talking about her book, how it analyzes the internet, the trolls and former community members she’s interviewed, and so much more. Yes, I’m going to tell you, there are plenty of incels in the white communities here in America, and I did write about one such. I do have some ideas about how we can fight back against such people, but if we don’t, we’re going to be a Republican right extremist country possibly called just plain America, or Columbian Gilead, or something else. We women won’t be able to write these blogs, read other blogs, or do anything but breed and marry, and handmaids could. be the surrogacy contract that most couples could arrange and I could be in big doo doo. People say, “Block the trolls.” But the truth is these trolls are like Eliot Roger, who said he’d punish women for rejecting him. Well, I’ve got something to question Roger’s actions.

What if all men had the government right and duty to kill or maim or impregnate women? I’d have to get out a pistol like June does in the Handmaid’s Tale and … not sure what I’d do exactly, but I’d have to do a resistance thing and take down the incel regime because that revolution is invalid. First and foremost, they’re racists. Incels also don’t like women to the point where they dehumanize and downgrade women from humans to “foid.” Notice the quotation marks I put that word around.

So what are the precautions we women must take? First, I’d never go to places where these men hang out, but if you have to work at a bar, things will be different. First, I’d stick a rapex device in the birth canal, I’d warn my partner I had it there, and go to the bar. Then if a guy tries to approach me and try to work sex like a vending machine, he’d get zapped or cut, simple as this. Something like this happened to a lady in New York, and the guy was forced to go to the ER for treatment, but then the cops showed up and the DA charged him with attempted rape, and that device is evidence of such a thing taking place. Another thing women should know about these types of guys, they could organize, form a male only government, and partner with terrorist orgs. Guess whawt? It happened in Afghanistan for the second time. Taliban rulers will not allow women in cabinet positions, government positions, or what have you. They are lying to all women in their borders, and trust me, they’re a lot worse than incelibates on the internet who say, “Women are not human.” There are men who avoid women too, thinking they’ll charge them with sexual harassment. Well, here’s a tip for gents who want to approach me: don’t catcall or harass me, or you’ll get kicked by my partner because it’s not cool to harass women to begin with. My short skirt is not a license to rape, and neither is my tank top, my dress, or what have you. Neither is a geisha’s gold kimono dress or what have you. Just … don’t … do it at all. Hold your dicks in your pants, don’t open your fly at the bar, just do not do it. You can approach me as a friend, a colleague wanting me to do more with my career, help me and train me as a conductor with a choir, whatever you have to do to get to me and train me in a profession other than sex work. the sex workers have to control the situation anyway, and I don’t plan on doing such things because hell, my partner would be a bit sad, so yeah.

Now if any of you people think this Handmaid’s Tale and incel post is scatterbrained, think again. Women who’ve told me I was incapable and incompetent should know that they will lose their freedom if they associate themselves with a Gileadean government. Here’s what I think the solutions should be regarding feminism and progressive causes and women’s rights. How do we protect boys from incel communities and MGTOW as well?

1. We need to ban these communities altogether, I don’t care if you think freedom of speech. We need to set up algorithms on Facebook and other social media platforms to catch the bad guys before they act. And here’s the good news: we have that capacity, so use it or lose it.

2. We need to establish that gender and sexuality evolve over time, and reteach all these boys in our schools that it’s not okay to handle women the way a pickup artist does, and we need to make boys aware of incel communities so they stay far away from them.

3. Girls must take governing positions as women, and we need to ban some things along the way. One, we need to ban sexual harassment at work, in schools, at home, and in play. Boys need to be taught by good parents, myself included should I birth such a person, that girls are humans, and that girls are not to be raped or violated in any way possible. Boys and girls in high school should be required to read the Handmaid’s Tale and the Testaments and … explore the possible distopian results of not standing up and saying no.

With all this in mind, I’m going to continue watching the Handmaid’s Tale another time.

Beth

How do you live in a world with no blind princesses?

Dear readers,

I recently tried to answer a question for a podcast done by a blind dude who specializes in blindness specific things. One of his questions had to do with coverage in the media, and I also included Hollywood coverage. Let me tell you how lackluster at best the coverage is, and it affects not only blind women like me, but if I want to create a fan fiction story, I have to do it right. And there are no blind characters to work with in most of the hot button media series thingies. Here’s what we have to work with.

As a young girl, I grew up with Disney. How well has Disney represented disabled characters in the media? I’d give Disney an F for unfair representation of blind and disabled characters. Disabled characters in literature and movies and such are usually saints, poor beggars, or those who are cured, and examples are few and far between. There is only one blind woman who I would hold up as one who opposes being helpless. Anyone heard of Susan Oldknow? Um, maybe you haven’t, but she is in the Treasure of Green Knowe series, actually the title of the book is Treasure of Green Knowe. In this book, Spoiler alert, Susan becomes heiress to Green Knowe and she ends up overcoming loads of obstacles to get there. Among which, she has to contend with a nanny who’s completely out of her mind, a grandmother who believes Susan is an idiot, and the only friend in her family is her father, a sea captain who wants her educated like her mother and all the ladies before, and this is before the invention of Braille. But the worst thing that occurs usually in a family like this is the son gets spoiled, and Susan’s brother Sefton is no exception. He acts racist toward Susan’s companion, Jacob, who, spoiler alert, is a freed African slave the captain purchased, and yes, the boy was free in England with the captain’s family. The Captain is usually a guy who you would find away on sailing missions, so no surprise that Sefton hates his sister and wants to disparrage her companion.

What’s really sad about the blind issue in the media and coverage in television news stories and other things is this: all the blind are considered helpless, and because the NFB and other consumer orgs want better representation, there is a darker side to finding such representation. When I wrote that I needed help determining what to do with evacuation strategies for my apartment, I personally don’t feel safe here much because of the creepers here, I got nasty backlash comments from trolls who were, oddly enough, blind themselves. The blindness is not the reason I ask for help, beg to get guidance in housing situations, and so on and so forth.

What I do does not represent Hollywood or blind people in general, but I have indeed tried to hold up the community, but they seem to be tearing me down instead of lifting me up, and even local chorus people don’t seem to get it. They want to sit there and tear me down, forget I exist, or try to avoid me. I hate avoidance behavior, but I think the biggest reason we have avoidant individuals around us as blind people is because of that stupid television show, In the Dark, and the NFB’s complaints about that show are numerous. For one, the blind main character was played by a sighted actor. Ugh. This is ableist. It’s the same thing as asking Caucasian people to play Japanese characters in anime, and it’s disgusting.

As a blind girl, there are no blind princesses Disney has to offer. Tiana is the closest to getting there Disney has done with princess representation in the media. However, there is still a long way to go. Disney has yet to put a disabled actress as a princess in a movie, and to make a disabled princess be the center of the story. Because of Disney’s lack of disability positive representation, I’m considering writing Disney a heartfelt note saying that a princess with confidence and a disability would really help the community see things the way I see them. And we need a princess who can lift others up, not have to be able to see and don’t count Ariel’s temporary disability because her voice is essential to her story. ursula, the evil witch in the Little Mermaid movie Disney so violently corrupted, did take Ariel’s voice, but was killed by Eric and so on if memory serves me right. The original Hans Christian Andersen story doesn’t do much justice either. The mermaid has to, spoiler alert, kill her lover or become a child of the air, which is hardly what Disney wants. Disney’s interests aren’t the interests of the disabled community, and the more I see new princess movies come out, the more left out fellow princess lovers and Disnerds who are blind are going to feel.

When you get a little older, superheroes and more adult films are the norm. I still watch princess movies, but what will I be able to do other than write up a fairy tale that explains my life in a child’s point of view/ Nothing explains things I went through that way at all. In adult film and TV series, we have few and rare blind characters that exhibit any form of confidence or enough courage and strength to tell a blind adult or young teen, “You can be who you want to be.” If Disney wanted to do this sort of thing, maybe they should make a movie about a blind woman, not Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder, but a woman who is blind because women who are blind are poorly represented in television sitcoms, movies, and the like. No blind woman should be portrayed as a sexual object to be married off, or worse, a fear based thing you don’t want to become. As a blind woman, how can anyone be so confident in themselves as females if they see a blind woman not succeeding in making some extraordinary changes in the world? I want to change the world so it is safe for girls and women who are blind in all parts of the world to live their lives, no guardianship for girls and women, including all the remote parts of the world who seek to oppose or kill me. Honestly, I’m seriously trying to do this right, but I’m stuck on social media because of transport that’s so crappy here in my end of town. Think about it. Activists can be activists online, and I’m one who can say I’m an online activist for change, and I don’t see such activism covered in the news.

what bothers me most about the lack of Hollywood representation of people who are blind is how feared the blindness is. In classic movies, you don’t see confident blind actors and so on. Even modern movies and shows have no blind characters. It seems Arthur from PBS does, but that’s meant for educational purposes only. Sesame Street is a kid program, but we need to get the word out that blind kids and adults alike need positive role models in the media, in sitcoms, in Netflix and other streaming platform shows, and not the Healing Powers of Dude. Poor representation of disabled people and jokes about us are all over the media, and those have to go.

Luckily, I did do a good initial review of See, a show about blind characters, but why is Jason Momoa, a sighted actor, playing the blind warrior? I hope there are blind thesbians willing to speak out. At least we’re on the way to doing better, but hardly are we any closer than we should have been long ago. In 1990, Disney could have published stuff about not so helpless people with disabilities, but it’s taking them way too long. Other hollywood companies like Dreamworks, Warner Brothers, and so many others could benefit from putting blind people on TV and in movies outside an educational purpose only.

Beth

Covid, Vaccines, and Why Science Works

Dear readers,

Please read if you really care about other people. So here goes.

Covid is a bad virus, and it kills. I have a buddy who lost both her parents to Covid 19, and it sucks. For her, she will never have Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings for her children at the parents’ house again. Both parents being gone, her young daughters will have to cope with the loss of Grandpa and Grandma.

When I got the vaccine, I felt freer. Of course, I understand where some people are coming from. However, you should try and get the vaccine because you don’t want your parents and grandparents to die of a needless pandemic. If you have an elderly relative in a nursing home, please do me a favor and get the vaccine. Phiser has an FDA approved vaccine, and I got it before the FDA said anything, but i’m ready to wait for a booster shot. Know why we need boosters? Because of the Delta variant. My partner is so precious to me, I told him he’s getting the booster shot. I said he would die if he caught Delta. Our caregiver is amazing, but we don’t get enough time with her. We have two cartons of eggs in our fridge, and she hasn’t used them yet. She’s unvaccinated, and I hope not a victim of delta. But it’s only a matter of time, and strange clients, that she could catch covid. We’ve got lots of other reasons to get the vaccine, including I want to be able to go places, and do things, and go to concerts. Garth Brooks has canceled all five of his remaining shows. Is that fair? Covid is the top reason venues are actively canceling concerts. If you want concerts, get the vaccine. It’s the only way you can stay out of the ICU beds that are needed for other care. I have a buddy with cancer who needs treatment, but covid really messed everything up for her. Please consider she needs a place to go for treatment.

Another Christian school in Colorado … Valor Is Not Valor so Shut it Down

Dear readers,

I’d like to let you all know there is a disturbing trend going on in Christian and Catholic schools. A pair of teachers at a Colorado school called Valor Christian were asked to resign, and it was due to their being in relationships that went against the so called teachings at this school. Many LGBTQI+ students get disrespected and discriminated against, called the child’s assigned gender pronouns at birth, not the ones they express and identify as. This school must understand that they’re not alone.

There is more than one incident where a school banned the rainbow symbol, tried to be the God and Gender police, and their strict uniform dress codes scream, “Rape culture.” St. Teresa’s School could become one of many Christian and Catholic schools not affirming the lives of transgender students, gay students, and many more. The students who demonstrated outside Valor Christian, as I will say, have my blessing. You don’t even need the blessing of any particular person to know that Christian schools are abusing your tax dollars to abuse gay students. The father god complex that one woman historian talks about in her book Who Cooked the Last Supper is so present that it has the gall to abuse anyone who doesn’t worship this so called God the Father.

As a Christian school alum, I want to condemn and deplore all Christian private schools who abuse gay kids. IF you don’t call my child my daugher, not biological son, I will do what is necessary to shut down your school. IF you don’t respect my daughter’s or son’s or my child’s homosexual or gender fluid relationships, I will shut down the school. The bigotry and my buck stops here.

Beth

You Don’t Want to See This In Your Mailbox …

Dear readers,

Author’s Note: Before I begin, I just want you guys to know who I’m writing to, but I will not put the customary Beth Taurasi or anything below the Sincerely line of the following prose. Why, you ask. Well, let’s get this out here. I hope you Harry Potter fans are ready for this dark satire of the sad and tragic life of Dudley Dursley, the spoiled rotten idiot son of Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. Petunia and Vernon should be familiar to you HP fans out there. Dudley at the time of this letter is a junior at Smeltings Private School, and I thought we’d have a little fun throwing Dudley under the proverbial bus. After using his little cousin Harry, the noble and most awesome Wizard of the House of Potter, and beating up thousands perhaps, maybe all of the children of Little Winging, I want to make something clear. He should have been expelled and transferred to St. Brutus’s himself. So, below this line, here comes the letter that if you are Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, you don’t want to see in your mailbox. …

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dursley,

As Headmaster of Smeltings Private School, it is my job to educate hungry young minds. It is also our job to keep the young men and women who attend this private school safe. As your headmaster, I have noticed thousands of instances where your son, Dudley Dursley, has been bullying younger children. Just because he is the Junior Inter-School Boxing Champion, that doesn’t give him license to practically knock unconscious any student that he doesn’t like. His marks are atrocious, I’ll say that right now. And even with a year’s worth of hard dieting, thank you both for trying to follow the diet sheet the nurse sent him home with the year before, or more, he is still not up to snuff weight wise. HE certainly has grown stronger, but he’s been under investigation for bullying so many times, so many in fact that I have to break the news to you all. We’re going to expel him permanently from Smeltings Private School.

The investigations we’ve been performing, as the board of trustees tells me, involve Dudley doing a number of bad and otherwise criminal things. These things include but are not limited to bullying, rape, battery of all sorts, robbery and kidnapping. The crown Prosecution will have Dudley for breakfast. To prevent further instances of bullying, we have also expelled all of the gang members that have been following him around like disciples of Jesus. These followers include Piers Pulkiss. We’re sorry we have to do this, but again, the Crown Prosecution will have these boys for breakfast. The last straw was an incident where Dudley and his gang beat up a twelve-year-old girl on a park bench out in the garden near the school’s baseball field. the girl will be testifying against Dudley Dursley, who at this pointn the Crown has chosen to charge him with bullying at school, assault, sexual battery, simple battery, and a whole host of other charges. No, he can’t get out of this one.

The twelve-year-old Jane Doh will not give her name, so please refrain from contacting her. I along with the Board of trustees at Smeltings and the Crown Prosecution will recommend that Dudley not ever contact any of his friends, Piers, Malcom, Gordon, and others who have been following him around. None of these boys will be allowed to associate with one another. As this is very hard on all of us involved, we want to tell you that you must teach Dudley to hold himself accountable for all bullying and battery incidents, including that of Jane Doh, age 12, and other incidents we’ve recorded in our school files. Dudley Dursley will be removed from the boxing squad, so please return his uniform.

We regrettably cannot refund you and your family for sending your son here only to be expelled. Please drop off all school uniform clothing at the back of the school, and go immediately to my office. There will be paperwork to sign, seal, and deliver. Regrettably, we cannot reverse this decision because the Crown Prosecution has spoken. Britain’s schools should never tolerate this type of behavior, and we do not have any words to say to mitigate what Dudley has done.

Sincerely,

Your Smeltings board of Trustees,

Your Smeltings Headmaster,

and the Smeltings staff

Asking for Help is Not a Crime: Addressing Independence Police On Social Media

Dear readers,

For season 4 of my podcast, I’m going to address a problem that keeps happening every time I ask for a simple favor. I get bullied. There are two people responsible for bullying on a post I created so that only local people were supposed to comment, but unfortunately, a blind keyboard warrior from Florida and a dude who lives too far away in Grand Junction in my backyard commented rudely and rather in a nasty way about my capacity to help and do things for myself. This is not the way to respond to posts asking for help, and I get terrible comments about this stuff all the time. Antibullying programs in school apparently haven’t been enough to teach these people not to bully, and their kids will likely be bullies too because of their bad modeling behavior. There is a really big problem with the woman who sent me the comments, saying, “I’m going to be perfectly honest, but …” She went in and said I was not capable of doing anything at all, and truthfully, that’s not the case. It’s lies like the ones told by the woman who sent me that comment that could get me guardianized again. Britney Spears is already under investigation for striking someone, but guess what? That employee probably did or said something to provoke it. Britney is under a lot of stress from an abusive conservatorship, and I was under such from an abusive prison called a guardianship.

As for my capacity not to do things for myself, I warn you all. Do not write lies and tell lies about my capacity to anyone at all, I don’t care if it’s your social worker or my social worker, my colleagues in DWC or a colleague at work. Do not tell anyone or mention my name about every time I am incapable or something. The terrible comments must stop, I have warned you all. Thankfully, the comments here on WordPress are not allowed to happen because of people like the Florida woman and the Colorado man. These people are trying to get me down, but I warn you all, if you so much as whisper comments about my incapacity which isn’t true at all to people such as a colleague at work, my caseworker, social workers in your state, or anywhere else, I will hear about it. And I won’t go with a professional guardian because I have no money. I want to be able to see friends and my partner, and my in laws. My mother in law is already having tough times, and her adoptive mother and my grandfather are both diagnosed with dementia. It is hard to watch the dementia symptoms progress with those two people, my grandfather being the man who used to read spy novels, make pancakes, and ride his Harley Davidson around Lake Mary or Pensacola. My papa is going to die with the knowledge that he was loved and supported, but the lies about me continue. So who are the bullies so vehemently against me? One of them I was on Messenger audio with, just talking and we just talked like old friends. I can’t believe this guy would do something stupid like this.

There were a few friends who left me nice comments. I want to thank the following people who actually make me believe that humanity is good: first, my buddy Megan who lives not far from my backyard. Next, my buddy Marinela who is the nerdieset chic on Earth and in the whole universe and she’s always going to convention stuff and I absolutely adore her makeup. Even if I can’t wear makeup, not that I wouldn’t wear it, I look better without it anyway. Nothing too personal, but I don’t like makeup and I’m not a good makeup artist. But I swear Marinela’s makeup pallets are interesting, and I wish I had the vision to do makeup like she does, but I’m fine with a professional makeup artist doing my makeup if I absolutely must do it for the stage. Thank you though, Marinela, for being cool. Then there’s Kelly, who lives in Texas, who is the most amazing person I’ve met so far. Kelly is so empathetic to people, and I can’t tell you how many times she’s told me something real. Then there’s Clayton, and by the way, it will be Clayton’s birthday on Saturday. I want my readers to know that this birthday boy knows a few nooks and crannies in the world that I may never have thought of. It’s a struggle, he says, to get help as a blind person because the sighted don’t want us to exist. Sadly, he’s correct on that for some reasons. They include that blindness is feared, as Rosemary Mahoney wrote in one article I read of hers. Examples of feared blindness include when a boy or girl is born blind in places like Africa or Tibet, the family may lose their land and their child would have to die. There was a father in Mexico who tried to make his blind son die via a Roman Catholic mass. This is how much parents, adults in general, and some kids, fear blindness. What I fear most is not blindness itself. I’m sitting here at my desk, typing this blog on a macintosh intel computer, and I’m capable of expressing my thoughts, so what the hell these people did was really stupid. Any unfriending and so on will have to be done with my permission. In fact, it can’t happen because now I have to cope with the nasty comments the bullies left me on Facebook and other social media accounts. There are many teens who aren’t disabled who commit suicide because of commentary that is deeply hurtful. I cried of course, but that’s inevitable. I have a few things I want everybody on social media to do. And it has nothing to do with killing somebody, making things unsafe, or anything at all. But it has to do with empathy, and the empathy has to be built.

  1. First and foremost, say your comments out loud before you attempt to write them down. This coming from my buddy Christine, from Pennsylvania, and it might help in some ways. If the words come out nasty, do not put them down on paper. Think about these comments and their tone, and would you say this to a best friend? Your grandmother? If not, do not write them down.
  2. Go to someone you don’t normally want to work with. This is something I would recommend you do with DVR or a workplace. Offer to buy that person who is always being sexually harassed or bullied a cup of coffee, a can of pop, whatever they ask for. Sit down and talk to that person, ask them how they’re doing, and watch what they say. When I am asked how my day is, sometimes I will say, good. Or if it’s super crappy, I’ll admit it. Listen carefully to the tone of the person’s response, and dig a little deeper. This is a serious thing that could lead to you possibly making friends, or even helping a person in need.
  3. For those who are straight conservatives, I have a dare for you. If you’re a guy, dress up like a drag queen. Get the best costume you can get, and wear it to work. Or if you’re really not in the mood, wear a shirt that presents a liberal cause, example might be something that supports gay and lesbian and transgender people. Also, if you are someone who knows someone with cancer, do the following.
  4. If you know a friend or colleague at work who has had their hair fall off because of cancer, shave your damn head. I would do it if someone I knew had cancer. Trust me. If I found out my dad was bald, well, it would be one of two things: male pattern baldness or cancer. Male pattern baldness is not a shameful thing, and women who lose their hair to anything should never be shamed for it. So if you know a colleague at work, a friend, or family member who has cancer, allopesia or anything else, just shave your head or if you can’t shave your head, the wig comes off and you show your skin.

These things are all great empathy building tools for adults, but here are some that kids can do. Most of the things also apply to adults.

  1. If your parents are acting strangely on FB, ask them why. But log in your brain that this behavior is bad, unacceptable, and wrong. When you’re at school, watch the playground. Who gets bullied the most? Watch your social media accounts for cyberbullying.
  2. If you or a friend is being bullied, tell a teacher or grown up person, otherwise known as a family friend or adult you can trust, about it. Tell the principal if you have to.
  3. IF you have to, work with law enforcement to get the bullies off your tail. Just make sure you gather the screenshots, evidence, documents, etc. Parents, make sure you have something such as Net Nanny Social, or some other monitoring software and let your child know what’s up. All evidence of cyber bullying should be reported to your child’s school or principal.

Thank you for reading. I will have to address this problem in the podcast if anyone even so much as tries to incapacitate me in comments again.

Beth

Summary of the Jon Taffer Podcast Backstreet’s Back

Dear readers,

I just about cried listening to a really great interview with Jon Taffer in Vegas featuring none other than Nick Carter, a Backstreet Boy I’ve had a crush on for a few damn years. As a teenager no less. Let me telll you, I’m super proud of Nick for having done what he does now, for having a family, and that’s because I found my own place and my own partner. The thing is he has three kids, three of them just like my own family had. I would hope that his family doesn’t grow too big, after all kids cost money. Everything costs money, and it really hit me hard when I heard Nick say things about how he had lived with fame all his life. Like, since he was twelve, he had fame on his shoulders. He wants to own a bar in Key West, but truth be told, I wish he’d try stopping by here in Denver and try some of the holes in the wall we have for Mexican food. I love Mexican food, and I wish he did too. I don’t know if Nick Carter likes Mexican food, nor do I know if any of the kids like it too. I’d be glad to bring Trenton to a hole in the wall in vegas, but what good is that when we can’t fly there or do things? Vegas already has a mask mandate in place now, in six counties, twelve maybe. I just saw something about Nevada’s emergency mask ordinance. What ever I say doesn’t seem to matter.

I have a message for Nick, and I sent it on Twitter. It was short and sweet, but still I think Nick’s a great guy. I’d still meet the guy on the condition that his wife is okay with this, and that she and Trenton are there for the presence between all of us. I hope that the Mrs. Nick Carter finds herself lucky to be with him in the long run, after all there are too many celebs who get divorced, and that’s bad luck on their part. It’s a heavy load that fame puts on us, and that’s the truth. In any case, I hope Nick and his Missus do not do this sort of thing, particularly because the kids need a stable family home. I would also like to point out that I was the victim of emotional abuse for years, and now I don’t have a career aspiration because of benefits, benefits, and more benefits that the disability gravy train pretty much requires you to make below a certain amount in order to qualify to stay alive. I am trying to taper off my meds, as I am writing this I was mailed 7 mg of my medication, and I am very concerned that it could lead to Trenton not supporting me, friends running away because they feel I’m crazy, and no opportunities to have better care. I would try getting a workaday job, but again, Trenton would lose out or I would lose benefits, and the house would be filthy. I don’t particularly like cooking and cleaning because women have been forced to do that for thousands of years, and I’m reading this women’s history book. It shows how the Father God complex put women below a man. That doesn’t fly with me because this Father God complex could hurt those who worship the Goddess, something I totally believe in. I want to believe there is a way to compromise but my family would never understand. I would hope they don’t read this because they don’t get it. I am not inferior to men, and I certainly don’t think cooking and cleaning is my destiny. I’m not an unpaid maid or servant, and thanks to the discharge of the guardianship, I’m happily on my way to recovering the pieces of my life taken away by guardianship Marriage and children are the two things I want to do, but providing for the kids like what Nick carter does is going to be something hard and tough because nobody will hire a 40 something woman who has no resume and no job skills to do entertainment. I had all my accomplishments in high school, but was never allowed to pursue entertainment as a career. Nick, I am proud of your interview, and Jon is a cool dude. Keep at it, because one day, there will be a Denver Queen on stage, and you won’t know who I am, you won’t know what I’ve done. It won’t be the classical pianist or the teenage Catholic who was doomed to fail at everything. This time, I will bee the new me, transformed by freedom. Thanks for your interview.

Readers, I’d like to think that I could put comments back on this blog. However, because trolls are trolls and they lurk at every corner, I will remain the way I am with comments. Please feel free to like this entry, and email me at denverqueen@gmx.com for more good conversation. Please, I swear to God, my life depends on it.

Beth

Before you travel to Euroope, read this important and timely book.

Dear readers,

So you want to go to the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France, or you want to order a beer at an actual German beer cafe or something, or perhaps you want to visit museums in Italy or the UK. You make your travel reservations, and then when you fly into Amsterdam, you want to see all the wonders that the Dutch bring to our world, but then … oh no. Some guy just cornered you and is staring at you because he wants sex. Is that what you want your European vacation to include?

If you are wondering why I wrote this, read Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s new book, entitled Prey and find out more about Europe’s problems with Muslim majority countries, and moreover its problems regarding women and females of all types being groped, stared at, intimidated. The book has a big trigger warning, so bear that in mind. However, Hirsi Ali does it again. She’s a women’s rights advocate and though she may not be a lawyer of sorts, Ayaan’s book reads like a big giant sociology project on Europe. Here’s some of the summary details of what she says in this new book. I know some of you will cringe thinking about this, but these are important details.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali takes two years out of the more recent, and gobbles up lots of news reports from those years, 2015-2016. In this book, she summarizes many attacks on women by asylum seeker men from different countries. I know where she’s going. But to summarize, she also says that immigration done right is the answer. She points out a lot is wrong with European justice systems, and because of the men in her attack profiles, most of them from Africa and the Middle East, attacking European women and getting away with practically anything, she says liberal feminists aren’t being taken seriously. We know that in prior books, Hirsi Ali summarized the security she’d been living with for lengths of time. Ayaan’s bodyguard of whatever is necessary because she gets death threats. I personally would never touch her with a ten foot pole, but I would want to meet this woman. I practically idolize her stuff, and I’ve dealt with the same sorts of things she has in regards to men. Not all men would leer at me, but some do. Some think I have a nice butt, but I have to use a bit of humor to throw it back in their faces. That doesn’t always sit well with some. Now, what would Ayaan Hirsi Ali want us to do in Europe if we’re women? Well, here’s the deal.

First, don’t walk out in the nude. These guys really think that if you walk out there naked, you’re asking for it. However, if you do want to walk out in the nude, carry mace or sprays with you. I would carry mace even here in the States because there are just some guys who won’t leave you alone if you are in their presence.

I’d require all girls seeking to do European trips to go in groups. A travel group would require you to do a curfew and be back at a certain time, and you would need to be carefully monitored as to where you are. Traveling alone is not advisable especially for females at this time. But then again, you want to avoid another Natalie Holloway, and this means you don’t want to end up on everybody’s disappearing list on the newspapers, as Holloway did. She was in Aruba, having a lot of fun, but then she started drinking. This leads to my next thing.

I’d drink responsibly in Germany. Or Ireland, UK, or anywhere else. I’d drink only a certain amount and then go right back into soft drinks and so on. Germany is a good example of a country that doesn’t let you drink if you’re not eighteen or can’t reach the beer bar. If anything, drinking is part of the cultures in the European countries you’d likely visit, so be prepared to make sure you do drink responsibly.

For LGBTQI+ travelers, again go in a group. You might have to forego walking hand in hand in certain areas with your partner given the way people might leer at you, and it isn’t even the native born species doing it.

Make sure you check in with friends and family back home regularly. IF someone attacks your travel group, prepare to defend the group and tell the local police about it. Also, get a phrasebook of the native language so you can identify words for things like, “some guy groped me” or “Some guy wanted my money.” Don’t hesitate to try out the native language if that’s what you need to do. Example, if I’m attacked in Germany, I want to tell the local police in German that “I was attacked by a guy wearing a green skull cap and I took his shirt off. He sounded like some dude from Morocco.” IF you are fluent in German, that’s all well and good. However, if some guy is attacking someone who doesn’t know the native language of the country, just try your best to describe your attack in English, of course. Most European schoolchildren today are learning English, but don’t take this for granted. You want to tell the police that your attacker was this guy who looked a certain way and wore such and such. Same thing you would do in America.

Do not let anyone walk you home. As weird as it sounds, it’s essential that only group members walk each other home.

Make sure your stuff is accounted for before and after your trip. Make sure you have all your papers in order, and if you’ve been attacked, be sure you take care of this situation with a group member partnered with you before you fly home.

As much as I’d like to say someone should walk a girl home, it’s not possible anymore. Knowing the language would make you less of a target to enemies and strangers. Example, if you visit Norway, know your Norwegian like the back of your head. There are two dialects within the language, so learn them both. Get your Norwegian in gear so you can communicate with a Norwegian policeman or woman or whoever if you get assaulted. This way, you can describe the crime that was committed against you. It would also help to learn a bit of Arabic, or even Berber, or some other languages so that if you can figure out what the attacker is doing, you can yell at him in his own tongue. That might scare the crap out of him, and knowing what to say when will get you far on the road to a successful trip to Europe. Now you can move on and look at wines and beautiful paintings and stare at stuff at all times and not worry as much.

Beth

The NFB and voter suppression

Dear readers,

While most of the NFB resolutions are about tech toys, what usual stuff, and NLS and other provisions, I think voter suppression should be discussed. The NFB got it right this time. While the NFB surely didn’t impose its will on Facebook and other websites, it must do something about voter suppression. Suppressing votes in the name of Gilead must stop. Here’s why.

When you go to vote, there’s something you have to remember. Votingn is a private and sacred part of Democracy. Georgia and Florida suppressed that right to black individuals and not surprisingly, to blind ones too. They made it cumbersome and impossible because they don’t like us, don’t want us, and want to hold on to the status quo. So what to do in this case.

Follow the legal ball. Put lawsuits in as many courts as possible. There is no structured negotiation with voter suppression. You must sue. Suing is not something you want to do openly, but suing is the only way to tell people that this is a big mistake. We also need to remove Trump appointees to the bench, somehow and someway and put ethics investigations on them. We need to dig through Amy Coney Barrett’s garbage, for example, and find essays that she wrote favoring Catholics over UU’s for example. I’d get the National Enquirer to do that. Tabloids are one good way to manipulate the public ire against people like Brent Cavanaugh. That guy got in even though someone said he made her look bad and at her expense, had fun. Cavanaugh used the disabled as his saints so he could get into the supreme Court. Ethics violation? Let’s dig through the garbage.

Next, we need to replace the Trump appointees with more UU oriented and America oriented court appointees who will write logically better essays, stop quoting papers from Notre Dame, and people who will allow black lives to matter, strike down voter suppression, and make the country livable and safe for LGBTQI+ parents and adults and kids as well. These new appointees need to undo the damage that the extremists we have now are doing. We need to make sure that any new legislation doesn’t make voter suppression and misinformation a thing. So if you’re the National Enquirer or the Esquire magazine, dig through the garbage and see whwat you can find. One man’s trash is another man’s gold mine.

Next, we need a moratorium on guardianships. The NFB fails again and again and again to look at guardianship as an essential blindness issue. IF you have a guardianship, essentially you can’t do anything, including in some places vote. You can’t even have a bank account. You can’t marry the one you love, and Britney Spears has an IUD in her body which prevents pregnancy. Britney and other disabled women in guardianship are essentially treated as dogs or pet kittens to the guardians that do things for them. Britney is like Jamie’s dog rather than his daughter. I don’t say this to insult Britney, but when you forcibly put an IUD in your daughter, you’re saying, you’re my pet, not my daughter. Jamie Lyn, Britney’s sister, needs to be clear with her dad that Britney is a person and will be treated as such.I was treated more or less like a pet dog. And rather than a daughter, I was treated more or less also like a piece of property. My parents took control of my life because they were abusive. They did not and still will not define the action they did as abusive.

The government should also be doing the good work of giving disabled nonworking people more asset. $750 is not a lot to live on and not enough. Neither is $794 or $804. We need an update to the SSI and SSDI program. Luckily, old Joe just fired a Trump holdout in the SSA. Hopefully, he will put some new rules for SSI recipients here, and I will get more, keep more, and marry legally. Since its 1978 or so inception, the SSI program has had no change like this. Marriage penalizing has been present because of ableist thoughts and social exclusion. It’s time for all that to go.

Now I am working with a massive ear infection that is clogging and clogging and clogging up my right ear with wax and wax and more wax. Okay, I’l take that, but it’s too much for me. I’m sitting up right now.

Beth