If I were Truly Cognitively Impaired, what Would I Do?

This message posting is addressed to some people. There are now five people who do not wish to see me succeed or marry the man of my dreams or make a home of my own or they think I need group home care. For one, disabled people do not always have to have a group home care. Why not care in home? Yes, expensive, but no, it is necessary. Group home care is assembly line based, and it’s stupid. My thoughts on group care are the following:
1. It’s forced half the time.
2. Someone who is in a group home may find it hard to deal with.
3. The roommate who rooms with you could be really bad, and yes, they could run the gamut of talking about weird stuff like spirits and the like to smelling so bad they need to go to the bathroom and that they really need to get the hell out of the bedroom. They could also be anywhere from creepy to downright threatening.
4. Your board and care staff could run the gamut of too nice to too mean.
5. You have to get up at certain times, eat certain foods you don’t or can’t eat, and do certain activities that do not accommodate you.
6. You are restricted from the community’s view for 20 hours a day. In my friend Nick’s case, you can’t be in the community for longer than three hours a day. What does that say about us people with disabilities? We’re not hidden from the world, right? But in group facilities, yes we are.
7. Group homes sometimes abuse, malnourish, and rape the disabled women. Now, there are some good board and care facilities, and there are some people who live in those places. But there are even more bad ones that have to shutter forever.
Now, if I were cognitively impaired, I’d be in those group facilities, assembly line help and all. Now, what do you think qualifies you to be in a group home? Let’s see: nothing really. What job qualifications do group home workers have to have? Nothing, really. Most group home workers do not have the slightest idea of what to do with disabled adults or children. So let’s see who benefits and who did not do well in group care.

Let’s take a few profiles of people who did not do well in group care. Let’s see: Jenny Hatch, age 29, who is a Down’s Syndrome child. She could’ve died in the womb due to abortion, but she made it, became a hero for others with disabilities, and went away from group care where yes, they punish you for breaking what they perceive as the rules. I should’ve said this earlier, but group care requires all the disabled inmates to comply with what the staff want or be punished. This means possibly for me, not seeing Blake, for Nick it means not talking to anyone online, but for some others it might have to be that way. I hope that my friend Katie doesn’t have this issue. She wants a board and care facility. But here’s the big question bugging me: will said facility have punishing rooms and rules regarding this? We know that punishment is something kids get, not adults who are law abiding citizens. Ok, should Blake be punished for having a romantic evening with me if I lived in a group care facility in Colorado or Florida? No. Blake should have any right to me he wants, just as Bryan does his wife. Just as every other disabled couple fights for their rights to sex and other things that come with marriage, I will do the same for both me and the spouse I choose. I will not marry a sighted and healthy spouse because of the custodial views of the four people I’m about to name. Five people rather.
The people on this list I’m about to write out are people who believe I need custody, guardianship, no marriage, no freedom, and people that are ultimately not going to get what they want because they just can’t have it. I’m not going to talk about this any further when I’m done here, but let’s name these people, claim these people, and attempt to tame the situation. It’s an old thing a librarian told us at Catholic school: name it, claim it, tame it. So, let’s name the problem. It’s not me. It’s them. And it’s a sin called jealousy.
Now, the people responsible are very very sensitive about this, but here’s what I found out. Mabelin lied to me about not talking to Jessica, so yeah. Anyhow, here are the people I’d like to identify as the problems:
RJ Sandefur
Chantel Cuddemi
Jessica Watson-Grabowski
Mabelin Ramirez
Cindy Estrada

All of these people are noted to be jealous of me having a good guy, having a place to myself, having the run of the day. You guys don’t know what it’s like to really be me. If I could clone myself and give you guys a brain each, I’d do it. Anyway, let’s claim the problems. These five names I have listed here are jealous. We identify that they are absolutely deadly envious of my relationships and status in life. Let’s say that they must own up to their issue. How can we tame the problem? Simple as this: they need education and to spend the rest of their lives regretting what they did to me. If I were cognitively deficient, here’s what I’d probably want you to ask me:
1. Who are you?
2. Who is that man standing in front of you?
3. Whose voice is it?
4. Who is talking to you?
5. Who do you want to marry? Rod Stewart for Heaven’s sake?
6. What is today’s date?
7. What is the President of the United States? Or rather who is it?
8. Are you able to see my face? This isn’t fair due to blindness which won’t go away.
9. Do you love Blake?
10. Does he love you?

Now, here’s what I’d answer to those five or ten questions that prove I am hell as not cognitively deficient or impaired.
1. I am Beth Taurasi. My full name is Elizabeth Ann Taurasi. And I personally hate my last name because it’s full of bull. No shit included.
2. What man?> I’m watching Reba. Ask me when I get to the courtroom.
3. What? Blake’s?
4. No one is talking to me, but I do remember that Mary, the lady that cleans my house up talked to me last. Again, wait until the court hearing, dirtbag.
5. Blake Tucker, duh.
6. . April 29, 2015 is today’s date. And yes, that’s two complete sentences for both the date and the fact that I even wrote that sentence.
7. The President is Barack Obama, and I can go as far back as some of the others: George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan (who peacefully died), Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford, Richard Nixon, … that’s about as far as I can go. I wasn’t alive during those times, but I heard a million bits about those presidents.
8. Duh, I’m blind.
9. Yes, I love Blake.
10. Duh, he loves me. Why are you asking these questions, judge and lawyer. I’m fine. My brain works. For Heaven’s sake, if I were Terry Shiavo, I wouldn’t want to be a fruit sitting on a tree waiting for some bozo to pick me off.
Now, if I were really cognitively impaired, let’s see, I wouldn’t do a lot.
1. I would have to benefit from group care.
2. I wouldn’t have answered any of the questions, and there is a right or wrong to some, but not all of the questions.
3. I’m not sure I’d be able to accept the truth of everything.
4. I wouldn’t do anything for people or maybe I’d hurt them.
5. I’d abuse a spouse or child.
6. I’d be stupid if I were this way, and not graduate high school on time, which I did.
7. I wouldn’t discern the difference between love and hate.
8. I’d cheat on Blake.
9. I’d enjoy the look on Blake’s face while cheating is done.
10. I’d watch porn.
11. I wouldn’t watch porn or I’d walk around naked in my house.
12. I’d not be able to speak.
13. Nobody would know my name.
14. I wouldn’t remember who anyone was.
15. I’d be dead. About 80% of the blind are cheaters or they don’t know what love is. Blake was able to tell me in actions, not just words, what love was. My ex, Deq, did the same. I am blessed to have had plenty of amazing people in my life who really understand and care about me, including Katie. So yeah.
If anyone wants to question what I just wrote, or continue acting jealous about me and what I have, there’s always two sides to every story. As Kyle commented on a previous post, I spoke about the guardianship like I should: like a strong woman. My parents don’t realize who this girl is, a stronger lady than they made me out to be. So next time any one person online wants to question the love that I have for Blake, or the abilities I have to cook and eat food, or whatever, think about yourselves and pick on someone metaphorically your own size.
Thanks for reading.
Beth

What is the challenge to having a disability? By Lorre Leon Mendelson

As a disabled woman, I’m going to do the Story Corps thing. I have seen many facets of disabled people that you don’t want to see. Some people are bitches, some aren’t. Some just don’t know how to act. Oftentimes, disabled individuals with blindness are sheltered to the point where they must live in sheltered care. It’s really sad. The worst thing about having a disability is that people see you in an incompetence prison cell. I have a boyfriend, also blind, and we want to be married. The thing is that I’d love to marry him, but a guardianship prevents it. I’m in the process of evaluations and stuff to prove that no, I don’t enjoy hurting others, but I do personally take pleasure in the bad guys going to jail. I had to take the MMPI before, and the first time I did, it was invalid because of all the adult questions on there. Things about sex just weren’t right to ask a young girl who had been sheltered too much. My parents also got notice that I would need an attendant in school, would be unemployable. I’m now 28 years old, and the testing picks up on negative views of mother and father. You wonder why.

Disability Visibility Project

What is the challenge to having a disability?
Lorre Leon Mendelson

April 13, 2015

What is the challenge to having a disability? Nothing. People I’ve met with disabilities don’t view disability as problematic or something to overcome unless told so by others.  We are not brave or courageous by definition of disability. The problem is not social reaction to us, the challenge is reaction to disability. Rather than recognized for our academic, athletic or professional accomplishments; we are celebrated or disparaged for perceived differences.

One person who is blind is often asked, how long have you been blind, can’t you see anything? can you sign your name?  joking about his blindness to him. In a gathering few come over to say hello to him. Why? We believe eyes are the “window to the soul.” What happens when people:
  • Cannot make eye contact to connect with others? Isolation.
  • Cannot access businesses because of steps…

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A Letter To Jessica

Dear Jessica Grabowski,
You might think what you’re doing is justifiable, but here’s what’s wrong with it. I’m not one to let Nick sit there and rot away in a group home that makes every attempt to keep him hidden away from society. What’s this? A prison? Jessica, you have a group home, too. So you are doing the wrong thing. You accuse me of hate speech, but if anyone’s going to starve or emotionally abuse or hide away any of my friends or justify a kidnapping charge, that person will be called out. People like this should be publicly humiliated. Jessica, do you realize that you will share details with me and Blake, you will apologize with Blake, and you will have to stand before your Creator and confess to doing this evil deed of deletions and misguided attempts to not be friends with me or Blake? Mabelin said the same thing. So why are you doing this? Jessica W. Grabowski, give me back all the things you think you can take. Blake has been through hell with me, and we will be married regardless of benefits being decreased. Medicaid needs to be increased, rather. That includes maternity insurance and other things that Blake and the kids will need. We may not likely get a job, and yes, we want steak and seafood, and we must have a wedding by God’s command. Jessica, by the laws of God, your wedding wasn’t even legalized or finalized due to Medicaid. You put Medicaid and stuff above your marriage and that is definitely not right, but that doesn’t stop me from saying you can change this. We as a disabled community face a lot of challenges as people with so called disabilities. For you, Jessica, someone could beat you, starve you, etc. I will be good and happy to expose the con artistry of people like the ones you could encounter who will beat and starve you and abuse you. Jess, if it means I have to put a nanny cam in your room, that’s what I’m gonna do. I will never see the footage edited, but if the footage suggests abuse, I will put it up on YouTube so that people see the disgusting habits of people in group homes. With the exception of Bryan your husband’s visits, something else needs to be done about the way you treat others and when they treat you bad. I would never have exposed Nick’s staff if they hadn’t kept on bullying and forcing him to do things. I was upset today because you refuse to hear me out. Now, Jess, here are your marching orders:
1. You need to stop acting like you’re five, you are in your thirties. Add me back to Skype and FB. Stop it with your putting walls around yourself. Your Creator is watching every move you make, and it’s not something I say to scare you, but it is the god honest truth.
2. Confess to both of us and to Jesus Christ your Lord that you have disobeyed and dishonored him by putting Caesar before God. I don’t pay taxes to a government who doesn’t want disabled or welfare recipients to marry. I’m not saying necessarily that I won’t, but if I had the choice not to, I wouldn’t enrich people who treat me like garbage. So, Jessica, when I say Caesar, I say the government that is like that of Ancient Rome. Stop supporting said government and marry Bryan for real. You had the ceremony, but you need to legally bind yourself and forget about Medicaid. Fight for a change in the law so you can have benefits, barrier free housing, and yes, your husband can provide you an aid. My friend Caitlin can do this.
So why don’t you?
3. When you go to Heaven, or if St. Peter greets you at the Pearly Gates, you will need to do the following: state your first, middle and last names. Tell St. Peter you did what you did to me, and put your support of a Romanesque government on the top of your list. Jess, Blake and I will marry regardless of the law. The only law I obey that is more important is that of God and Christ. They come first. Country comes at a second place. My country must obey God’s law, and yes, allow disabled people to immigrate to this place and marry. We need to encourage marriage of disabled people. This may sound radical, but we also need to give welfare recipients time to go out and shop at malls. That’s where the wedding bands are purchased. Aleeha Dudley is a good friend, and yes, she made a good point. Marriage decreases benefits, and detrimentally. We will not, however, live together as companions or something less than because of a Romanesque and selfish brat called government. I’m not antigovernment in the least, but Jessica and others like her need to be recognized as people, not social security numbers. Jessica, as I address you firmly and stiffly while writing this, you will do as I say or face imminent removal from all the people that I speak with. You made me cry so damn hard that I wish Blake were there to tell me what you did was wrong. You will be held responsible for your actions by your Creator unless you accept Jesus. As a Christian, I see this as possible, but stop it with the walls, stop it with your five-year-old mentality. This is a huge problem in the community. People like my friends Ashley and Silvia are doing good things to stop gossip and drama, but there are those like Jessica and Mabelin who aren’t. Jessica, I see more potential with you because you were friends with me, you were loving and kind toward Blake. Why you treated us like shit I will never know. If you don’t come back to me and apologize and abolish this heinous treatment of your fellow disabled community members, you will face a certainly cruel life and I won’t be there to save you. Jess, disabled adults like us are vulnerable. I’m confessing now. Disabled adults are all vulnerable due to their challenges in life. We face con artists, bad landlords, bad group home situations like Nick’s, and yes, neglect, beatings, starvings, etc. We also have all the stuff from our lives bothering us. Our treatment runs the gamut of pampering for charity purposes and because we feel we must to flat out violent abuse because we hate our disabled son/daughter. Jessica, I know you’ve been through hell, but now is not the time to get revenge for your violent boyfriends/father and so on on me. Come back, and stop it. You have a choice: come back and stop it or continue lying about me and risk me telling the world you are a hateful individual who does not care about people like yourself. Jessica, my friend Caitlin could easily die if she doesn’t get an aid to care for her and cook for her while Mom is gone. Mike, her dear husband, is out working half the time. Caitlin is a sweetheart. I love her very much, and you don’t know the half of it. Jason Owens tried to date her, and Caitlin and I remembered this. Unless you truly are a Jason Owens, get your head out of your butt and come back. Just crawl back to me and think about what you did. If I were your mother, I would have locked you up with no food for two hours or no communication with the outside world for two freaking hours so that you would know how it felt like to be me. I wish I could break your heart. I wish I could make you cry. I wish I could finally teach you a lesson about being alone in the dark. But you know, I wouldn’t hurt a fly. Some people however do not learn well, and you need to be taught a harsh lesson about what it was like to be me in the early days of my life. You need to witness bullying repeatedly, head rocking fixations by family and teachers, and flat out refusals to take services that were good. Flat out refusals by potential dating partners were also a hallmark of my whole life. I have been in love a million times it seems and all the times I’ve been in love, they’ve all said, “No.” I want a baby one day, but I’m afraid that the disabled attitude of society will mean the baby will get taken away from Blake and me. We need to educate and possibly move the baby. I will not risk a kidnapping charge. I am really worried. Honestly, Nick needs to be able to choose what happens to him. If Nick were any more disabled, he would be starved to death, beaten, sexually abused. I will not have this happen to someone who is able to exhibit his personality or even worse, could be helpless if someone had that choice to do this to him. Nick’s guardians could sexually exploit him because they are his guardians. My parents got this as a means of power and control. I must have the power to buck the system so that the power and control my parents have will subside. In my forensic evaluation, I answered all the questions I could in the Minnesota Multi Personality Inventory. The MMPI was invalid at 17 so I took it seriously. I had to respond to all the questions, and there were criminal related questions. I admit all the criminal questions were false. I don’t enjoy hurting people. In fact, if anyone enjoyed hurting those people, they really should get themselves hurt so much worse than this. Jessica, you need to confess you enjoy hurting me and Blake, and that you have a vendetta against us. We’re sick of people treating us like shit. We want you in the thinking chair and thinking about what you did wrong, and you must pray that you can shut up and realize your vulnerability. We depend on the Savior, the God who made us. Yes, if you just ask Christ into your life, you could get all your sins wiped out. And yes, I forgive you for all this, but you need to give it a chance and forgive yourself. Enough is enough. I’m calling you out on my blog because you don’t seem to understand shit. You don’t seem to care that you’re disabled like the rest of the community and you need to see your vulnerability as important. You can’t lie in bed all day anymore. Get up and do something. Let it all go, and come back. Apologize to Blake, and if you refuse, then guess what you will get? Just as a five year old says “no, mommy, I will not give you the toy”, you will get punished for not giving me back my dignity as a thirty something lady. IF my son/daughter were five years old and refused to do as I commanded or asked, I’d put that child down and say, “You won’t get any more toys from me at all.” I will tell my children and those around me, and this is how it will sound: “If you do not share your toys with your siblings, I will not allow you to play outside today.” Simple statement, right? IF you’re a thirties woman and married, you should know this. Right? So let’s try this: “If you do not stop confiding with the Enemy, the staff at the group home, and thinking it’s ok to call me hateful and say I write hate speech on Facebook, if you do not confess to your wrongdoings, I will take all of your contacts away. So be it.” IF you get lonely, so be it. I will even have it so your husband doesn’t even talk to you. He needs to clamp down and lead you in the right direction as Blake has done me. Take it or leave it.
Sincerely,
Beth Taurasi

If I Were Truly Incompetent, …

Dear Readers,
Let’s get the record straight. In light of the insults, the injuries, the mob of people who think I am worthless, let’s do a little checking in on my brain. Let’s do a little asking questions and answering them all over again. IF I were truly incompetent, what would I be doing? Answer this for me.
1. I wouldn’t go to school.
2. I wouldn’t graduate from school, and on time, with a 3.8 GPA for Heaven’s Sake.
3. I wouldn’t earn as many accolades for my musical works on piano and voice and with ensembles as I have.
4. I wouldn’t have the fire I do have to help others.
5. I wouldn’t have my own apartment, which for God’s sake I do, even when my parents have their lies written on paper, freezing my age and not allowing me to grow up.
6. I wouldn’t have Blake, my true right hand man, and yes, my boyfriend.
7. I wouldn’t arrange for Comcast to hook up Cable to an old TV set which I did, and I tried my darndest to do it on my own, and that should be awarded with a medal, right?
8. I wouldn’t defend myself in this post.
9. I would drool and not eat much.
10. I wouldn’t be able to do food prep, which I do and read recipes, which I also do.
11. I would not be able to seek out an evaluation to prove my competence before a backwoods lawyer and judge. So take that!
When this paperweight incompetence is over, I plan to go on with my life. That means marriage, children, building my house, working a business out of my home, and yes, changing the face of this country. I’m done trying for some job that Rehab wants me to do, and they discourage all things I like. So forget it. I would never do anything behind or beneath me. I’m not incompetent, so yeah, read this and think about it. There’s almost nothing that makes me incompetent. I have to make it clear: I make all the rules in my little love nest, and I make all the rules when it comes to the bed, the kitchen, etc. So yeah.
Thank you all.
Beth

Rules for Men to Follow While Dealing with Us Women and an Update

Dear Readers,
This is addressed mostly to men, and we’re going to try and speak from a global perspective on what to do with the womenfolk in your lives. I’m talking to the nicest and the most dominant males in the world, and there are rules that I suppose women will make sure you are aware of. Men, you guys think you were the first and most perfect beings on this planet, but face this, you didn’t get here without us. The women. We’re not exactly Nature’s goddesses. But you men have tried, and failed, to destroy us and use us sexually. Take Somali Mom, and many other girls in Cambodia. Take Maria Suarez from Mexico. Take all the victims of human trafficking out there. You men are perfectly responsible for making this a concept and a good idea. Well, I’ll say this once or again I may say it a thousand times, men, you are all going to be in big trouble with us women. I mean that. There are strong ladies out there who mean business when we talk, and there are some of us who are dominated by the madams and pimps out there. Those women and guys who think that trading in sex is cool? You guys, take note. Sex is not something to trade. It’s something to treasure.
Here are some rules that we women would like you men to listen to and follow. As an American, I don’t speak for everyone, but for those in countries like the ones in Africa and Asia who are going through Hell, listen up. You will want to translate and speak these words and yell them at the guys who are bothering you all.
But it so doesn’t stop there. Men who rape and marry us young are all in big trouble as well. But we can’t forever punish the entire human race for what the women have suffered. Here’s what we will be asking you all to do. From now on, we want a world in which sex and love are intertwined and where trafficking is against the law. Period. So here’s the commandments we want, and if you don’t follow them, then, guys, you just might have the same problems we have had for centuries. You’ll suffer the dominance of the female heads of state out there. I’m talking Hillary Clinton. No one beats her, and I hope she wins honestly.
1. A woman is born to live, not to die. Do not try and force us to die when born or in utero. If you do, the pain of death will sting you worse.
This rule stems from female infanticide, which is so prevalent in the places where boys are preferred.
2. When we are able to eat, feed us and hug us and nurse us at the breast no matter how you feel about us. When a female is born and is nursed sometimes, she is weaned off early because she is a girl. This won’t be tolerated according to the rules.
3. When we turn three, put us in preschool. We want to learn. Don’t think you’ll stand before God saying you raised a daughter of quality without education.
4. When we turn five, let us go to school.
5. When we turn eleven, we might menstruate, but do not rape us or force our genitals to be cut. Worst of all, since you’re marrying us so young, we would like this to stop and cease and desist now. We’re sick of you thinking that the blood of a female is worth sex with the female. It’s not always worth that.\
6. When we turn thirteen, let us continue education in schools. We’re not sex toys for men.
7. When we turn eighteen, the choice is ours.
8. Do not ever try and sell us young for sex. We’re not toys. Our bodies are your lifeblood, so shut up if you think we’re no better than a beer.
9. When we marry you, let us decide when you have sex with us in bed. Don’t try and make us do what you want in bed. We will make it pleasurable, and all the time you try and hurt us, we will throw you out of bed and maybe we might neuter you like a dog. …
10. Do not think that when we’re not doing as you ask, it gives you the thought that we’re not demure. What is demure? We females are sick and tired of being treated this way. I look at the spammy emails about Russians and brides, Anastasia singles and all that, and it makes me sick. You portray us as weak and sex hungry. Ugh.
11. Don’t think when we’re old or disabled in any way that you can destroy us. We females have a rule of thumb. Any man caught messing around in the nest of sex and love and that are to be thrown out.
12. If you want to cuddle one of us, we’ll be happy to do it on one condition: don’t trick us or fool us.
13. Do not think that we elderly females are good for nothing but nursing homes. We’re wise, old, and want to tell the grandchildren more stuff they need to know. Examples include babushkas in Russia and the Ukraine. These elderly women wear nice scarves over their heads, although not all the time. Babushkas are awesome, and I heard a group of them singing in a concert. They were awesome.
14. When we’re dead from elder age or disease, remember us. Don’t stomp on our bodies and continue to decry us. We’re not fools.
15. With the teenagers who are female, if we’re disabled teens, do not bully us on Facebook and stuff. IF you think, especially if your name is someone I know well, that bullying and stealing is the best way to obtain friendships, you’re stupid and vulgar. You have no idea what friendships are. If you’re the mother of this hollow bully I speak of, you weren’t ashamed of this daughter, but you need to teach her better how to socialize and how to be a friend. First, she must be hospitalized or sent to counseling. whatever may work. She cannot engage in cyber harassment and bullying any more.

Those are the rules. Now, an update:
Mabelin P. Ramirez refuses to give up her stance. So let’s just write down a list of the stuff she did and said about me. I’m going to be repeating some of the things she said previously, so hold on a sec.
She said I don’t bathe, take care of myself, and I am mean and get people’s things taken away. What a childish bitch that sounds like. This girl ought to go straight down there and confess to God before she does so that she’s been a wicked idiot. That’s what she is acting like, and I hate to write this down, but I must be able to do so without shame. She also said that all the stuff I do is repeated, repeated, repeated … She sounded like a broken old record in that damn blog post she wrote, which has since been taken down. She slandered me on WordPress, tried to steal my boyfriend, who is not falling for it, and stole Jessica Grabowski, Jessica Watson-Grabowski like she’s just a toy to play with. She is a human being which means she willl be treated with respect. You are liable to give her back to me or you will suffer even greater consequences that you will never regret. I’ll be happy to play that stupid voice mail you left for Nick in court. You’ll be a dying flower when you reach me in Denver, and I won’t let you anywhere near me and Blake’s house or apartment, and you will just have to wilt away like a dead flower in the backyard.
I want to make this clear, and clear it must be: disabled women are the worst of the worst and the most bottom of the bottom of society. We’re statistically undesirable and the mothers who are able have that Ableist thought process going. I’m going to write something else as well: Jesus Manuel Hernandez, a.k.a. Jessie The Messy, is NOT a pedophile. What the hell were you thinking, Haley’s mom, by making this stuff up? Do not decry Jessie this way because he is a professional guy and works at a hotel. He’s a great guy, and I just quickly asked him some questions, and I listened to him talk. He was really sad about the accusations you made against him. Haley is in her twenties, you little bug on the wall, not a little girl in a twenty-year-old’s body, not even five. Grow up, woman. Your daughter will talk to anyone she wants. I understand you are overprotective, but this has to stop. Accusing my friend of being a pedophile is enough. Stop it. You are on the same plane with Mabelin when you decry my friends as pedophiles.
Let’s define a pedophile: a man who has a true sexual desire for CHILDREN! Prepubescent CHILDREN for heaven’s sakes. Children under twelve mostly, depending on the pubic age. A true pedophile will molest girls or boys between the ages of 3 and 10 at the oldest. So guess what? You made a wrong accusation about my messy Jessie, and he’s not gonna take this without a confrontation. Haley is a good friend, and she got me hooked on YouTube Poop. I love that stuff, and thanks to me, Haley is hooked on some things too. We’re gonna stay this way. Don’t think you’re gonna get away with this. You won’t.
Also, you don’t know my story. My parents emotionally stunted me, abused me, whatever. Because of my disability, they decided to hit and threaten me due to the fact that they didn’t like my head moving around and wobbling. Ugh. Is that the way to do it? Blake’s furious. To Haley’s mother, this is not the way to teach. I have no clue what you did to Haley, but you’re doing something enormously stupid. She will be locked away from the world. I don’t know what Springfield will bring to her, but I hope to God I don’t move back to Florida. I’m not ready to face my parents, and probably never will. I hate to write this down, but Mrs. Stipp, or whatever you call yourself, my parents have to tell their story and own what they did. They took away my current ability to plan a wedding. I can’t hold Blake in my arms without thinking they could just yank me out of Colorado. I can’t even close my stupid CO DVR case without them throwing me into a really abusive situation. Too little life is too painful. I want to experience real life things: marriage, love, having a baby, getting old and grey next to the one I love, dying finally. I don’t know what else. Mrs. Stipp, back off! Don’t ever say anything about Jessie again. Don’t even talk to your daughter when she leaves for Mary Bryant Home for the Blind. You must leave her to do her own thing. Or i could just whisk her to Arizona with me and Blake, and we’ll show her what to do. She’ll learn her own med management, no sheltered care necessary. She’ll be the best person we know, and she is sweet. We love Haley, and I love her like a big sister who never had a little sister to save her damned life. To Mrs. Ramirez, do something with your daughter’s vile behavior. She has offended Haley and I, and Jessie is trying to step back. But I swear, you must take Mabelin’s stuff away. Now!
I’m sick of the disabled community’s status quo. The little queen bee is getting her way again, so you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to squish the bee, and steal the honey in the hive. It’s my honey, and I’m going to take all the workers, the drones, etc. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Jessica is the honeycomb. She’s as sweet as any bee honey ever. If you think you can decry me as a bully myself, but then praise your own daughter for being a bully and doing bad things to people, you’re wrong. I love Jessica like a sister and pray that Mabelin will fall to the ground on her face, scream for the God she failed to worship, and pray that she can escape the pain of true loss. She doesn’t know what it’s like to lose the person you love so much. I almost lost Blake, and I did indeed lose Chad. I sometimes cry thinking of what I should’ve said, should’ve done, and beat myself out of it. Mrs. Stipp, here is a rule of thumb when dealing with men that Haley talks to: leave them alone. Jessie is perfectly healthy, and he’s a sweetheart. I love Jessie, and I’m not gonna stop defending his friendship with your daughter. It’s his freakin’ right. So back off.
I’m not gonna say this on Audioboo because I am afraid that someone could try and find it somewhere. As for the Mabelin stuff, I am sickened by what she’s doing and has done. Nick, take care of the little wasp for me and let’s see how far we get in restocking the hive with our honeycombs. We’re taking back the planet we live on as disabled individuals, and yes, we’re taking back what’s ours.
Beth

Conclusions About Interracial and Interdisability Marriage: IS It Right for a Parent to Choose the Person You Marry Based on Race and Disability?

Dear Readers,
You’re sitting at the dinner table with your fiance. Your parents just met him, and he folds up his white cane. Then, he proceeds to eat the dinner that your Mother prepared for the family. The fiance strikes up a conversation, and all goes well. Then, …
The next thing that happens could mean the difference between a life of misery or discrimination and a life of happiness. If Orien Henry had gone to dinner with me and my family, maybe we would have been married by now. Sounds like a scene from Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, right? Wrong. Not always. When a white lady wants to marry a black man, or vise versa, there’s always that possibility the parent could be racist. While I’m all about diversity in all areas, I think it would be better to address something a bit more close to home: ableist parenting.
Ableist parenting does have something to do with marriage. My mother from the get go did not really want a “blind” child. She tried and failed to stop all the habits she felt were inappropriate. Such parenting is common in households with disabled children. But it didn’t stop there. IF I did not exhibit behavior that the parents deemed appropriate: modest, quiet, shy, submissive, etc., I would not be allowed to do things. I wasn’t allowed to ask a boy out. I wasn’t allowed to go to prom, something Blake is angry about. Prom is a once in a lifetime thing, and I won’t be able to get that back … not at all unless Blake knows anything about a time machine. Right, H. G. Wells? I don’t know.
Well, this is a common problem. Ableist parenting also says that a disabled child does not marry or make love or date to a disabled significant other. Ableism says that we need to be taken care of in all aspects of life from money to sex to everything else. Our biggest fan, Kyle Cogan, probably would agree that this type of bringing up is wrong and stupid and promotes a less competent approach for disabled people to live.
So you’re wondering what this has to do with marriage. The central tenet of marriage is love. Love and God are the two most important parts of a marriage that we need to consider. It has nothing to do with the person’s ability to walk, though talking is a pretty big thing. Obviously, it would be ten times harder to say that a vegetable gave consent for sex or marriage. But then, you could say the same thing that I’m not able to consent when I myself can speak for myself. You could say the same thing of my friend Haley S., and she’s fine. But the people who truly cannot speak for themselves, cannot move their bodies and cannot talk and won’t breathe on their own are the only ones who can’t marry. Marriage does require a degree of communication about love and God. There are three types of love that marriage possesses, and I learned these from Patricia Hutnick, my old middle school teacher. I credit her and the other teachers for their outlook on love and marriage. Eros, amor, and caritas. In other words, erotic physical attraction, romantic feelings, and finally charity. Charity is a powerful love that binds two or more people together. It can be the way friends bind themselves together. It’s amazing. Eros and amor don’t really make a marriage last. It is those plus the element of caritas that will ultimately make a marriage last.
None of these three parts of marriage and love have anything to do with race or abilities. While I love my friends who are disabled in caritas, I love Blake in eros and amor because we’re literally attracted to each other. We’ve developed a bond that probably won’t go away. Caritas is the most important part of love that Blake and i have developed. With that said, we can surpass anything and take on any storm in our lives, and yes, we can do anything. We will be able to take care of each other, and nothing about blindness or mental issues comes to mind in this case.\
So why do couples and parents of potential married couples deal with their disabled children like they are their pets, not the children? The Ableist philosophy of taking care and throwing the kid in an institution prevails in marriage situations as well. I applaud Kathy for acknowledging that Blake and I are in love, but I do not like some of the stuff she could say to us, “How are you going to take care of him/her?” This is a bad question to ask. Can’t you stop asking questions about your children’s abilities or racial differences? Race comes into some parents’ minds because they think it’s psychologically bad for kids to be with a black/white family. Well, had Orien and I married, we would have not needed this. Orien probably would have made a good husband for someone whether disabled and white or not. Blake understands me better than Orien, and I hate to sabotage anything, but Orien had a chance to be with the coolest person on the planet, but he chose the world. He chose something God would not have put favor on. Maybe he thinks differently, but Ableist thinking in titusville ultimately prevailed.
My hope today for all of us who read this post is that you get rid of your Ableist thoughts. Don’t question one or the other’s ability to take care. Blake and I have a plan, and I am planning on ways to convince a judge that Blake and I need to be able to do and have some things. We need to live in a fair market or safe place where children are allowed, pets can be bought and had, and so on. Blake is not a possession, right Theresa? What I’m concerned about is I found a rare diamond and I’ll do anything to buy it. I’ll take care of this rare diamond till it stops shining for all of this world and God’s design.
A good thing I might say to the judge at any hearing would be this, “Blake and I will need a housekeeper to clean the floors and buff the wood floors.” Then, I’ll bring up my parents’ usage of a young or middle aged lady to clean their house. They have wooden floors in their home, and the lady cleans the floor. So why worry? Ableism sucks, and it’s hampering so many young disabled couples who would put a lot of heart and soul in to raising a family. Here’s an example of a really exemplary couple who have managed to get past the Ableist approach to life itself.
Scott went to the Student Work program. I forgot what the e stood for, but it was called SWEP. I remember hearing Scott’s speech about how it tried to put him in his inferior place. Scott somehow met Anahit at the Center for the Blind in Colorado after having grown up and tried many things, but he would not let Ableism stop him from becoming a successful disability rights advocate and lawyer. Scott is, for some, a firebrand, but I say he’s just someone whose name should have been Keegan, a Gaelic word that means, “little fiery one.” He’s not quite little, but fiery, yes. Anahit, his wife, gave birth to two kids. Scott says that they are perfectly good kids, and they must have found a routine and a system that works. The thing Scott and Anahit stress about the things they do is that they have nothing to do with sight, and it’s all about the alternative skills of blindness.
While I am about to lie down on an incomplete bed, I’m going to say this one more thing. I hope that Blake becomes someone, and he will. I will. We will become more successful than the lawyer who is deemed a snob, the judge or the doctor who thinks we aren’t right, the Ableist parents who try and cancel any wedding their daughter wants to do.
Thank you all for your support.
Beth

Response to a Really Bad Voice Message on Nick’s Phone

Well, she’s at it again. The witch with the long black hair. But this time, we will now reveal the identity of this little black haired weirdo. We also want to inform all of the readers that an insulting voicemail was heard last night, a voice mail that was so insulting and offensive. Let’s analyze it in the form, “Dear person who left that stupid voice mail.”

Dear Mabelin P. Ramirez,
As of last night, you shook a lot of people up but we’re going to punish you for that stupid voice mail you left for Nick. Here’s a few hints when leaving a voice mail:\
1. Do not insult me or Blake or anyone. You said Blake was being used by me for my own selfish purposes. You also said that I was the “mean one” and that I “got Nick’s stuff taken away.” The stuff was taken away because of staff corroborating with parents. They were corroborating to alienate Nick from people who cared. Mabelin, we’re not going to affectionately call you Mabers or Mabes or anything of this nature. I tried to restrain you from contact with me or even my friends or even online activity, but to no avail. Don’t think it’s any thing that allows you to insult me and talk about me behind my back. I’m sick of this, and it will stop right now and here in any place you end up.
2. Do not take friends that do not rightfully belong with you. Jessica G., my dear friend, has to have 24 hour nurse care due to her disability. You walk over her like she’s grass on the ground, so stop it.
3. For this, Mabelin P. Ramirez, this blog hereby orders you to quit talking about the writer behind her back. You trashed me on this particuloar site, and I implore you to leave Jessica and leave all of us alone. You’re back for round 2, and it will end with you going straight down. What will you say to God on Yama ke Yama? If you were Muslim, you would have to admit to Allah, “I tried to ruin people’s lives.” IF Jesus knew this happened, he’d toss the table you were sitting at upside down as if you were a money changer sitting in the church. You would be in judgment at this point. And you know, you are.
When leaving a voice mail, you need to simply ask the person to call you back, stupid egg cracked too early. You obviously don’t know how to leave voice mails for the friends you claim you have.
As for Nick and the “meanness”, I don’t like people who think they can trample us with disabilities. What’s sad is when disabled people discriminate against each other. It’s like the blacks with lighter skin going against blacks with darker skin. It sickens me beyond belief!
So, do us all a favor and let someone hack your Skype account, go offline, and hide because when the last day, Yama ke Yama, or whatever happens, you won’t be able to say you did the right thing. What I do for people like Nick is called advocacy work. It’s my NFB side coming out, and Blake and I did this while at CCB. I do public service for people who need it. I tell restaurants, “Make your menu readable.” AS an example, I tried writing a letter to a pub restaurant I went to, and they haven’t responded, but I responded to their service with profuse thank yous and so on, and told the restaurant owners in the email that they would benefit from a better menu format.
I also am good about telling others that wheelchair parking is essential for business. But I will not advertise death to babies and elders, allow a bad nursing home to get more business, and so on. A for profit company should never profit from others’ misery. That is the motto by which I am living.
Now, Jessica G., get with it, girl. You’re married, 38 or whatever you do, with your age, so get away from Mabelin P. Ramirez. She’s dangerously close to blowing everybody’s brains out, and I’m tempted to say something really bad. I’m sick of being talked about behind my back. I want my friend back, and you need to understand I am a fiery advocate for disabled rights. Jessica, if someone abused you in your home, I’d hit the person repeatedly and ask how it felt. The Blue Eyed exercise applies here. Try living like the sighted and able bodied, and tell me what power you think you have. You don’t.
Everybody’s equal, and disabled people have to be put in the line of equality with others. Being friends with someone isn’t a bad thing, but Mabelin is going to be punished for what she’s doing. Her activities have been well known for years, and when she starts crying, that’s when we know this has worked. I’m sick of being talked about and gossip must end, and right now. Blake is having a hard time trying to ease the pain of this, … and that’s the thing.
We’re not putting up with this anymore. Blake has to leave for an emotional trip to California to do some stuff. On top of which, the family needs access for an untrained dog. It’s weird, but I hope it works out …
Enjoy the rest of your weird lives, readers, and hope you all will find the weather nicer.
Beth

Marriage at a young age: What We Can Learn from India, Ethiopia, and Third World Countries That Harbor Sexual Predators with Child Brides

Dear Readers,
Imagine for a moment that you are nine years old. You are like any other girl, playing about in the yard, doing the usual little girl stuff. Imagine though the family is poor, you go to some school, but then your parents drop you from school. Let’s imagine your dad wakes you up at about three in the morning. While I’m not really the one to do this, if I were nine, I’d wonder why. So your father says, “You will be married to a man.” The first thing that crosses your mind is: what? Married? You are told that your husband to be is three times your age. You’re only nine, remember?
This actually happened to Nujood Ali, a young lady from Yemen when she was only about nine years old. Her husband, the predator the father chose for her, was a man three times her age, smoked, drank, and had a big temper. This happens one too many times. The reasons parents in poor countries do this to their innocent daughters is the poverty, the desire for a good marriage match for the daughter, and to keep the family honor alive. Well, my friends, child marriage is a bad idea. This is happening too many times in Africa and Asia, and it also happens in America!
Ayaan Hirsi Ali, the famed Somali born scholar, says bluntly in her books that child marriage is bad and could hinder the girl from dreaming. Hirsi Ali also states in an article called “Young, American, and Forced to Wed”, that this form of slavery is occurring right under the noses of Congress. What are Republicans doing to solve this? Nothing. But we do have an ally in Jimmy carter, who though old, and retired as we all know, has written a chapter about this in his book, A Call To Action. Oftentimes, the child bride is pulled out of school. The bride does not get any education soon before her wedding, and she is a sex slave for the man for the rest of her life. Usually, the man is three or two times her age. Here’s an experience anecdote: a young Somali cousin of my ex said that there were girls young as eighteen marrying men old enough to be Grandpa. This actually almost happened to Waris Diri, a Somali lady who later became a “Desert Flower.” She became a New York model, an ambassador for women, and so many other things. She was also mutilated in the genitals, so many Somalis have this done to them and it causes many health complications. This young girl wanted to be a girl, not a slave. For many child brides, they are doomed to stay in the marriage once they are impregnated. Sadly, the brides are brainwashed to think that this is the best. Well, ok, let’s go back to our imaginary, or not so imaginary, nine-year-old girl. Imagine the girl is sitting in a room with her “husband”, in reality a sexual predator. When marriages were done in the ancient times, men did not touch the kids till they matured sexually. But with Nujood’s story, Faez Ali Thamer, the predator in question, raped her violently every night they were together. HE claimed he wasn’t violent. Well, if I were to confront the man myself, I would have looked him in the face and said, “So why is your so called wife asking for a divorce? Do you want medical evidence?” If Nujood lived in the U.S., a girl like her would get access to medical care that proved that she was violently raped and abused. Men these days do not know the innocence of childhood, and I have previously posted about manhood and boyhood. We need to make men aware that being violent to young girls and women will not get them to Heaven.
My Muslim friend, Elizabeth D., said to me today some stuff about the last days, Yama Ke Yama, in which we stand before God and state what we did with our lives. Well, I bet that Faez Ali Thamer will have to stand before his God and state, “I raped a nine-year-old girl.” And the worst thing was, he wasn’t imprisoned. The father meant well by “selling” his daughter.
Nujood became the youngest divorcee in the world, and later wrote a book about it. Delphine Minoui coauthored the book, and Nujood went to school. It was a great day in her life when she finally got free, but at the expense of her parents’ “honor.” Again, Ayaan Hirrsi Ali would say, “It’s a classic case of the honor code and shame code.” IF a girl balks and rebells against the marriage proposed by her father, she is seen as shameful and killed.
So what are the solutions to child marriage? There is no easy solution. What I think would work is this: if countries like Yemen would ban the “sale” and marriage of young girls under the eighteenth birthday, it would be a start. Sixteen years old is ok, but look at statistics. I have a friend who married really young, sixteen or seventeen. She is having one problem after another, and she has had to chastize her husband many times for partying and going on dates. Emily Caldwell’s two kids are the best things she has. Her husband’s unfaithfulness however is the top reason why so many American couples break up.
So what if arranged marriage worked? Should we just marry off our daughters to strangers? No. Marriage should be to someone you trust, love, and cherish for life, whether you’re sick or healthy, rich or poor, or whatever. Blake and I cherish each other’s company, and I know that it’s going to be hard. It will be so hard if Blake doesn’t have me but at least we’re adults, and we’ve matured. So many teenagers have a fairy tale image of marriage that they don’t see the real work that goes into even having a dating relationship. Marriage is work, and marrying a child to a predator will only result in rape and abuse.
The ramifications of child marriage are deadly and unhealthy for children who marry: the girls die in childbirth and the boys learn to be predators and businessmen who buy and sell brides. What is this!
The best solution we can come up with is outright bans on child marriage. If but one child is married off, it is one child too many. As Elizabeth would say, “We can’t stand before our Lord and say that we married our young daughters off at nine to men they hated.” Elizabeth’s own daughter, Sofia, married Phil, a non Muslim, not in accordance with the Qur’an, but Elizabeth will tell you that not a lot of brothers in the Masjids in Denver really wanted Sofia. Phil plopped down beside Sofia one day while she was about to eat something, and that was it. Phil and Sofia currently have one child, and they’re doing great. Sofia would not have done well in a marriage this young, nine being the youngest possible age that Aisha, the wife of Muhammad, got married. Sofia is a true Muslim if I must say so after my own heart. Elizabeth and I met today over some furniture and moving and stuff. But we still have to get the bed frame out of my friend’s apartment. I should’ve probably said to Elizabeth, “What are those child brides doing with Isis?” And what of Boko Haram? Elizabeth would say that this is a twisted view of the real Islam. But I can’t just read the guys like books right when I open them up. I’m not one to read a guy like that, but I’ll confess I skip to the end of a book when my body tells me to.
Some guys in Islam don’t treat their wives with respect. Even beating a disobedient wife is bad. But Elizabeth is trying her darndest to find a good man she can retire with. Well, not exactly retire. And the cool thing is that Elizabeth is over fifty! And she’s happy! Should those Yemeni girls and women learn a thing or two from her? I think so.
Child marriage will never work in any religion. This means that all Muslims, Christians, Hindus, etc. should never marry under the age of eighteen and not to someone with, if parents are listening/reading, a criminal history that has to do with domestic battery or assault. Native Eskimos did this even. Remember the book entitled, Julie and the Wolves? This book and the other called Julie’s Wolf Pack are about a girl who escapes a marriage she does not want. When a girl often gets into these bad marriages, she will stay there because she feels unwanted after sex. Sometimes even I think that way, but I know Blake wouldn’t want me to feel this way. I can’t wait for Blake and I to make our vows one day, and when I make a promise, I never break it. Never. I promised myself long ago when I was but a child that I would never marry a guy who hit me, but almost did in Georgia. Ugh.
Elizabeth wasn’t happy with Jason, and knowing Jason, he may become the next Faez Ali Thamer. Let’s follow that life of his and see where it goes.
The best and brightest remedy is this: I’d like to see how many of you make videos of children giving birth. I’d like to see YouTube campaigns that state that this problem is cross faith, cross Ethnicity, etc. I will later write a part III about interracial marriages and disability marriages. How do we view these things?
Beth

On the Misguided Definition of Marriage, And How We Must Keep the Covenant For Life

Dear Readers,
It has been brought to my attention through the experiences of many of my blind and disabled friends and older teachers I’ve worked with for life that marriage is not essential, or it has no value at all, or someone can leave a person due to illness if they just can’t live with it. All the counseling in the world, according to one person I spoke with today, won’t stop a person from deciding to leave. While this is true, it defies God. God made man, God made love. Love and marriage should be a covenant with God and the couple for life. Here are some examples of good couples who’ve both defied and accepted the covenant.
Let’s start with my friends from church. There’s a couple called the Robles, who have recently written a book about their experience with illness. Michael and Margaret Roble got married so long ago, and took the Covenant of Marriage in the Christian sense. They promised each other a lifetime of love and loyalty. They then found out that Margaret had an illness, pain and all. Did Michael leave Margaret because of her illness? He easily could’ve said, “I’m a sex man. I would like to leave the wife who can’t.” But no, his choice was to stay with her and find strength in God’s word. He and Margaret are still together. Up until the day one of them dies, they will still be together. That, my friends, is example number one.
Example number two centers around a bride and groom that had a problem. Let’s just say that Blake’s biological parents had him, right? Kathy and her then hubby Michael had a baby boy. The boy was sick, cost lots of money to make well, and then Michael had a choice. Before then, he and Kathy took the same Covenant. They got married so they had to have taken each other for life. Right? No. They split up after Blake’s birth due to the possible burdens that followed. Kathy, however, was devoted enough to take care of her son, who is now the love of my life.
Here’s another example of a better couple. While the Robles defined marriage, the Norris family … I mean, Kathy and her then husband Michael, defied marriage at its best. Illness and disabled children are both common causes of divorce. Mike and Margaret care for each other even in the face of Margaret’s illness. The difference is that the two of them, the Robles, are Christians who find a center point. God is their center, grounding them and helping them stay together. God tells us in his Word that marriage is nothing to play with. Unfaithfulness is obviously part of what not to do in Moses and God’s commandments. So why do people do this sort of thing? Yes, mental illness is a challenge, but is no excuse for leaving. Just because I have a mental issue does not make it ok for Blake to sit there and sleep with girls at a bar. He would never do this, though I catch him joking about friends of mine or beautiful girls he hangs out with. Sometimes I wonder where his brain is, but that’s a different post for a different day.
Here’s another example of a good marriage. Kathy, our same lady who had the problem before, raised her son, but because Blake was adopted by another man, he almost never saw his bio dad if not for the fact that Michael wanted to see his son. Right? So then, the man Kathy married next walked out on her. But then, she said, “I will never marry again for a while.” Good move on her part because predators and money stealing idiots are everywhere, and I think any mother would not want a disabled child and other children in her house to have to deal with a preying man. Well, now, about 25 years later, she found the love of her life. In the face of the death of her second son, with whom she had by the second husband, her current husband is like, “I’m with you all the way.” They go to counseling appointments together, they go out together, do everything together. And who knows when one may go? Their marriage is a block of cement. It’s forever. Their love is forever, and it is ok. Joe has a deep attachment to Blake, which totally is the coolest thing on Earth.
I’ve seen premarital relationships go down the tubes so many times of course. The blind community thinks that marriage is just a fairy tale and can happen in a day. Well, the friend I spoke to has not seen what Jason said and did and tried to do to me. Jason’s mother has no idea what sort of hell he put all the women he was with through. The Marriage Covenant was never respected by these Millennials.
I’ve seen even sighted friends who got divorced. I had a friend called C. She had a husband and a daughter premaritally. The premarital child was ok, her name, G.A.W. Well, G. for short. C. and G. lived in a little house in my old hometown. C. married L., a guy who turned abusive behind closed doors. He did not respect his wife, so guess what? The marriage ended. But there are more divorce cases I can throw out there.
Sometimes divorces happen because the people think they can just get out of a relationship. Maybe they don’t like the way the person picks their boogers, maybe they don’t like the way the dresses look on them, or their boobs aren’t big enough. Or worse, a disabled child, an autistic child, etc. Well, parents of autistic children should know this: the child is not the problem. The parents are. When you have a disabled child or a disabling illness like Margaret Roble’s, there should be no question as to what to do. Part of the marriage vows say that you must stay with the bride or groom “in sickness and in health” and “in rich or poor” “for better for worse.” Why has this gotten misused? Why have the vows been misguided attempts for people to leave their parents? Yes, God says that one should leave his mom and dad and join the bride or groom in marriage, but there’s always that possibility that a disabled child or parent figure can tear apart the family. It wasn’t Blake’s birth that caused the family to fall apart, not initially. It was the man’s choice, and his father eventually had a good relationship with his son. I applaud both parents for at least making an effort for Blake’s life to be as good and happy as possible, but there’s something missing for Blake: he has found his true love. Maybe he hasn’t, but I have a feeling in god’s eyes that will change.
There is a girl I know, my good friend Ashley. Ashley has been cheated on so many times, and it is all because of the Blind young people’s misguided attempts to get married young. Some churches are telling millennials to get married young. That isn’t possible or feasible in some ways. Blind adults are not often taught skills that marriage requires: love, compassion, empathy for your partner. I’m sorry, but most of the divorces occurred due to the just plain “I don’t like him.” Or the plain old “She’s a bad wife and doesn’t give me the good sex I want.” I would never refuse Blake’s affections, and I will never do so till the day I drop dead. That’s what marriage and love are about. You share affection with someone, and that in itself can’t be taught. Ashley herself is among many blind females I spoke of in a previous post that has experienced it all, and yet guys think it ok to cheat on Ashley. I have another friend named Kayla, and she’s found her love. It took a bit of poking and prodding, but Max is the one her heart desires and he’s getting her.
Blake and I have been together for two years. However, many disabled people find themselves ending relationships after a month. The shortest I had was two weeks. I ended things with Richard after two weeks because he failed communications with me. We found each other on Craig’s List. Ugh, I’m not doing that again. In fact, I don’t use Craig’s List for any personals or items for sale. Not at all.
Anyhow, the longest relationships were Blake for two years, and Deq Ahmed for about eighteen months. Blake and I are inching close to May, our anniversary month, and we’re excited. Kathy and Joe are doing fine, and I hope that nobody will think it a good excuse for Blake to leave me because I wrote this. The purpose of this post was to show some people a good and bad example of what marriage is.
Now, let me define marriage. Some of you may not agree, but here it is:
Marriage is the love and affection shared between two partners in a lifetime commitment, and it includes the right to mate, have children, and for a heterosexual relationship that is true. It also includes a lot of love and patience, empathy, Godly love and Godly strength. The current millennial definition of marriage is this: it is a committed relationship with all the same things, but there’s a cost. IF one partner is mentally ill, the other can value the ill person less. It’s just a fairy tale thing, happily ever after and that doesn’t exist. I don’t think any happily ever after ending could make that definition of marriage I speak of. Blake and I will never be happy for the rest of our lives. Neither are my own parents. They’re married. My mom and dad are upholding the Catholic teachings that state, along with any Christian church, that marriage is about a covenant. And it is for life.
So Where is there an excuse to leave your spouse on the grounds that the spouse is too much to take care of? Well, there is none. And my definition and God’s definition of marriage is something that includes love and affection. I’ll do a part 2 of this post about child brides. But here’s what I’m about to say regarding this: child marriage is not a good idea. Arranged marriages are not a good idea if you don’t love that guy or girl. Marriage must include love and affection and intense affection at best. That is how I feel for Blake, and that is how my mom feels for Dad, my grandmothers feel for the grandfathers. I’ll go ahead and use another example before I close the post.
John Moore’s grandparents were a good marriage match. They had faced a lot together, including the joys of childbirth, birthdays, weddings, etc. When the wife got Alzheimer’s Disease, which means having memory loss and plaque in the brain, ewww, the man said, “I’m staying with her.” I applaud John’s grandpa for staying with his late wife until she died of the complications due to the disease. I plan to think about what I want out of mine and Blake’s relationship. For one, we have a lot of love and affections. We share our secrets. I’ve confessed to Blake so much of my secrets I can’t explain. Blake is furious and wowed by some of those secrets. Blake is wonderful, and he’s been there from the get go. I guess God made it much easier on us, and then sometimes hard. Nobody realizes that there is no excuse to leave a person on the basis of mental illness. IF our son or daughter hears voices, Blake and I have no choice. God has put the voices there to challenge us. This is as I say only an example.
I’ll do part 2 on another day.
Thank you all for reading patiently and being thoughtful.
Beth