Dear Readers,
Consider this a Part 2 of the #metoo story. You’re all wondering why I didn’t report this. Well, some of you are not on Facebook, but I will be happy to tell you a few reasons why I didn’t report what happened to me.
1. He had his weapons drawn. The man known under stolen DJ names, and whose Skype ID was jasondo374, that man had his weapons drawn. You guys might be wondering if it was guns, but it wasn’t. It was worse. He had recordings in which I was supposedly asking about the weather while we were supposedly making love. This man used the recordings as revenge porn to get off, attempt to break other relationships, and turn former friends online against me.
2. Nobody would believe me. The big question I’d be asked would be, why are you harassing my precious little angel, that being a question his mother might ask. I was threatened and harassed for reporting the things Jason Doh did and was sent a very nasty email. Jason thought it was funny to send it, possibly pleasurable to see me suffer and bad things happen, who knew! But this young assailant was disabled, and so the other question I might be asked would be, since Jason is disabled, why could he do this? Because he’s human, like everybody else. No matter what his heart looks like, no matter the presence of eyeballs, he still had a brain, albeit half of one as it were. This young man also resides in a racist, ableist state, Georgia, where it is rumored that there is a lot of racism going on, but hopefully a Stacey Abrams can shut the white elite up. We need this because of a man like Jason.
3. He is entitled, spoiled, and lacks remorse. If I reported him, the racism would persistently send the wrong message, that Jason is a sweet innocent angel that doesn’t do anything wrong. The truth is, well, Jason went on to abuse and knock he hell out of several women, including friends and loved ones I met online. The blind community should be ashamed of itself for overlooking survivors like the victims of this man. The survivors probably won’t be able to report because according to Jason’s own mother, he is supposedly above the law.
This kind of mentality must be rendered unacceptable by the majority. Here’s a few things we can do to stop it:
1. As my friend Ray would say, disability is no excuse to commit heinous acts.
2. Disabled people should have equal access to lawyers, public defenders, etc., if accused of a crime, and the same goes for accusers such as all of the survivors I speak of.
3. No attack on a woman’s reputation should ever ensue when she reports a sex crime or sexual harassment or degrading verbal abuse.
4. There should be a mandatory prison sentence put in place no matter what a judge might want for sex offenders, even disabled ones. For instance, for child sex crimes, the offense should be a mandatory sentence of 5 to 10 years if found guilty. Let’s say the child was under twelve. The sentence would be 10 years minimum, and any additional years would be added if the severity of the crime is such. If a child is abused or neglected or sexually abused and neglected emotionally, the sentence should be a mandatory 10 years. If the child is pregnant, the sentence should be a mandatory 20 years minimum plus no contact with the victim or her child. No visitation, no joint sessions or custody would be allowed. Since the father in this case is a rapist, there should also be an automatic sex offender classification and registry.
I do think child molesters should all be registered not only as sexually violent predators, but also as child abusers. Double register for these people would mean they could not have or adopt children, could not contact children, and would not be allowed to reproduce or attempt to. In this manner, I think the child abuse and sex offender registries would serve as a partnering deterrent for those who wish to commit heinous acts of violence against disabled girls, able girls, or any girl for this matter. We need to get tough on those folks who feel entitled to commit acts that would damage others, cause them not to trust, and so on. After hearing Christine Ford’s testimony, I am reminded of how awful sexual assault is for women, and after seeing so many of you all’s posts about why you never reported, I felt it was necessary to talk about the system, why it’s broken, and what can be done to fix it. The root of the problem here is also raising responsible and not spoiled children. Whatever happened to rocking and cuddling our babies, holding our children at night, and telling them that it’s okay to have a hug or two? I will now explain the difference between sexual harassment, and not sexual harassment. This should be a no brainer.
1. It is sexual harassment if a hug emphasizes thrills, lasts a bit too long, and if a guy tries to then grope a woman’s or girl’s boobs/breasts.
2. It is not sexual harassment to tap someone on the shoulder, hug them in times of crisis or grief, or massaging the person’s back if they ask. Proper massage technique should be done if the person wishes it, so a good and gifted massage therapist might do that trick or them.
3. It is sexual harassment when you tell jokes about a woman’s genitals, or a girl’s virginity, or a woman’s ability to use said genitalia.
4. It is not sexual harassment when a guy complements a girl on her outfit, her hair, or discretely says, your bra strap is showing. I had an embarrassing moment with a bikini top I’ll get into later in another post, but it was the discreteness of finding out about it though I was a bit blushy about it. Had a young boy said it like this, “Hey, Beth, your bikini top is off, may I help you secure it?”, I would be more than open to that.
So there are many other subtle differences between sexual harassment and just innocent playing around. Dr. Leigh Baker, author of Protecting your Children from Sexual Predators, and another handbook for child abuse survivors, also has an extensive chapter on telling the difference between abuse and just plain play between kids. Sometimes a man and woman will get pretty wild, but the key to this is consent.
For instance, if I find a girl who is interested, I’d tell my fiancé, hey, let’s do a threesome. And if she consents, one hundred percent of course, it’s not harassment. If a young adult or full adult does not consent, none of this works properly.
I hope you guys are well informed as to not only why I didn’t report, but why we need to change the system and what harassment is, for real. ANd thanks in advance for any respectable commentary.
Beth
denverqueen’s Weblog 