Law And Order Special Victims Unit Ideas and Spoiler Alerts …

This post is mostly for fans of SVU on USA and those who love all kinds of crime drama.  I have no reason to want a rape homicide to actually happen, but the show has the coolest plot lines and I’ve seen some twisted and curved lines all over it.  Now, with the closing of Season 16 of Law and Order SVU, which I have spoiler alerts for in case you didn’t watch, I have some ideas for SVU’s actors to do.  For one, Mariska Hargatay is Olivia Benson, and she rules.  She’s totally awesome.  This Elliot Stabler guy is awesome too.  Eliot rules too, … coolness.  It seems Eliot is awesomer than any male detective in the world.  Skittish Gittish plays Rawlins in the new few seasons we saw her in SVU.  My favorite new one is Amaro.  Nick Amaro is sweet and has kids and all.  Now, the spoiler alert: Olivia does something weird.  She adopts the son of a real sadistic psychopath, but that little boy, Noah, is the sweetest thing Olivia has ever taken in.  Mariska is a princess of SVU in my opinion, just my humble opinion.  Right in the middle of prosecuting Johnny Drake for pimping girls, Olivia adopts Noah Pporter, and he’s the cutest little button on the planet.  I think in some twenty years we will see Noah Benson be a cop.  I predict that much.

Now, I have some ideas, and I think the SVU producers should consider writing more of the parallels to headlines stories.  I think it would be nice to see more competence issues with disabled people.  We need to expose, in some way with art, the weirdness of it all.  I also think we should do more human trafficking cases because that’s relevant.  What about the stuff about police brutality?  We need to talk about police brutality through SVU.  That and the old Law and Order, and that would be cool.  I wanna see more Mariska Hargitay, and she’s the bomb!  Oh, Craigan retires in one of the later seasons.  Mariska leads the unit, … um, Olivia I mean.  I liked Craigan, he was hot.  Yeah, he was the guy you went to for either good or bad stuff.  A visit to Craigan didn’t always mean good things.  However he was a great leader in the Special Victims Unit.  I also think Law and Order should do something about arranged marriage.  Maybe FGM.  Both would be classified as rape, and SVU should probably take on one of the cases that could pop up on the radar.  Stabler is totally awesome, and he’s the man.  Hey, I don’t understand why Kathy Stabler left her husband in one season, but I’d kill for a guy like Eliot.  I’d also shoot my foot to be Mariska Hargitay.  But anyway, the SVU was weird in this past season on NBC.  I think stabler will come back, and he’s the man …  No, Olivia is the lady, I love that lady.

But I do think we need to depict more of the stuff ripped out of the headlines.  I think that’s what SVU can do.  And yes, Iced Tea. …  He’s cool.

I do apologize for the spoiler alert if you all didn’t want that, but I’d be happy to do more spoiler alerts for those who really want them.

Maybe something about James Hulmes would be good?  We still have to battle with the age old question of sanity as a defense for murder, or insanity as it is.  Let’s see what happens.



Muslims are not all bad as this post proves. So if you wanna be a police cop or whatever, feel free to show your face, but wear the hijab. Whatever you want to do, this post is for you, Muslim girls! 🙂

Freedom of Speech: Definition and Guidelines For This Blog

Dear Readers,

For those of you who listened to the Denver Delights show yesterday, Saturday, whenever it was wherever you were, we had a problem over Twitter.  Apparently, one of the DJ’s requested something that Blake, my sidekick, does not obviously listen to or like.  We wanted to know the meaning of the song, and it played, done.  The result was that the DJ who happens to be a good friend of mine accused me of mocking a request or not realizing what meaning it was, and his girlfriend refuses to listen to the show.  I’m not here to intimidate people into listening, but it does bring up an interesting point: freedom of speech.  Where do we draw the line?

First, we don’t write songs about splitting our wives’ throats.  Listening, Marshall Mathers?  Second, we don’t threaten people in artwork and paint people the way we want to see them if it is too controversial.  Get it, Robert Whatsyourname from Law and Order Special Victims Unit?  He killed people and said it was art, something about murder and art combined.  That is downright criminal.  What about calling black people and each other the N word, or redskin, or whatever?  Racial epithets are not supposed to happen in music, and we’ve learned so many years ago in history that calling, for instance, a first nations woman “squaw” is wrong.  Yes, you can read books with such a word in there, but Native American women need a whole lot more respect than that.  Look at Katherine Tekawitha, the Mohawk saint who later was canonized after so many years of Beattification.  She was a Native lady, and yet the only one who studied Christianity by far in history.  A French guy found her I guess, or was it a British guy?  I can’t remember, but history tells us a lot.

Another boundary for freedom of speech is the use of the F word, calling girls “bitch” “whore” “coon.”  We’re not here to call girls those things.  I don’t do that, and yes, I swear I won’t say that to any woman who’s done me wrong, no matter how bad it was.  I don’t call guys “Daddy” or “stud.”  Well, I hate to say this, but freedom of speech has its limits.  Freedom of speech does not say that you can tell a Muslim woman that she can’t be on the police force.  See next post about a police lady who wears a hijab on the Minnesota Anapolis Police Force, I believe.  This is a nation that hates anything that doesn’t conform with what we call American.  So what is the definition of American?  Let’s define this before we go to the meat of Freedom of Speech.

American does not have to mean born here.  This is a big mistake when setting the qualifications for President.  I think we can’t control where we’re born, but we can very well control where we go in life, so if you come here, let’s say, you should be a citizen or naturalized citizen for 25 years.  35 is too old in my opinion to be President, so let’s lower the age for that too.  If the President is under 30, so what?  I think 25 is more reasonable.  American also does not mean only Caucasian, White, African American, or Asian.  Hispanics are definitely Americans if they are naturalized here.  Let’s name a few Hispanics who truly define whwat it means to be an American.  Wait, here’s one: Jessie the Messy.  He’s blind, and he had a harder life than some.  His Cuban family emigrated here for whatever reason, probably the Castro thing.  I know a few other Cuban families in the old church I attended, and they emigrated here for that same reason.  Well, Jessie had blindness to overcome, and Blind people are hard to place in jobs.  Jessie, luckily, had shining stars and angels looking out for him because now, not only does he have a good resume, but he works at a hotel call center.  He does lots of bookings, and he’s really proud of his job, and he hangs out and talks to friends on Skype in his spare time.  The good thing about Jessie’s job is that it’s a normal job, he has people around him to take him places, and his family actually cares one way or the other about transit and other things Jessie may need.  Hispanics are also hard to place in jobs because of the people’s perception of “illegal” immigrants.  I’m not pointing at Jessie here, I’m pointing at the cops in Alabama and other Southern states where the Spanish version of Jim Crow has thrown itself around and forced other Hispanics out.  Arizona is another good example.  Every day, Mexicans flood Arizona, and yes, I know it’s bad, but don’t you know that Mexicanos have the problem of drug cartels?  The drugs and gangs control South America, too.  So Hispanics have a problem of gang violence and drugs all the time.  Luckily for the next person I’m going to mention, that is not the truth.

I have several Mexicans in my circle.  Henry, a third-generation California Mexican, wants to counsel gangsters and get them off the streets.  I don’t know where Henry went, but God knows, the lamb is sure to go.  Henry dated me for a few months, a couple at best, and his excuse was that his out of wedlock son came first.  Well, any kid comes first, and I have a confession to say: Henry, look, if you really want to be with your son, go ahead.  I do apologize and I can’t understand why anyone would say what they said.  However, because of Henry’s refusal to be with me on those grounds, I refuse to date men with kids.  One kid could end the relationship by saying, “She’s replacing Mommy.”  If something, God forbid, were to happen between me and Blake, and the kids have to contend with a billion different guys.  I’m not parading men in and out of a child’s life like that.

A lot of single parents have this problem of who to pick that the kids would like.  The problem is that predators could end up liking the woman’s children so much that the woman has to wonder, who’s really going to be in my bed?  So you know, I guess, I can’t just do what I want without a plan.  For one, like I said previously, marriage is not a death sentence, and it is a covenant between the couple and the deity, Yahweh, God, whatever.  Which proceeds to the next thing.

What is the definition of Freedom of Speech?  If you’re my mom or dad and reading this, you know why I’m rewriting this definition.  For one, I’ve had encroachments on my Freedom of Speech rights because of the guardianship.  One, people just say something isn’t appropriate, it automatically is labeled inappropriate.  The next thing that happens is I’m forced to take said thing down, which I will not.  Third, what I write here is true, no lies.  Freedom of Speech does not mean slander.  Are you listening, Mabelin Ramirez?  Freedom of Speech means that you express an opinion, which we all have, about something.  Here’s a simple opinion:

1. I think red is a good color.

2. I think barney and Friends is a funky show that doesn’t teach anything.

3. Something more politically oriented: I think marijuana should be legal.  Just examples, people.  We write about opinions, and we can give good opinions not by saying the sentence “Beth does not bathe.”  Do not trample on my freedom of speech, family and friends, because all it does is aggravate me.  Congress, as the Constitution reads, shall make NO law establishing a state religion, and yes, the constitution says freedom of the press is not to be trampled on.  I’m not aligning my thoughts with another person’s simply to be with that person.  That’s the beauty of this country.  We don’t get sentenced to death for having the opinion that the Prophet Muhammad is a child molester.  In my humble opinion, Muhammad was somehow a child molester by definition of the law here in the United States, but there is a different side of it.  Think though about Aisha’s biological development.  Only nine?  Should a guy have sex with nine-year-olds because that’s his wife?  No, darn it.  No.  That’s my opinion, and because public opinion does not like guys having sex with minors, we have what we have called statutory rape.  We don’t allow teenage this and minors doing that, so please, freedom of speech and voting are the things in this country we have.  Now, we have guidelines that this blog follows regarding Amendment 1 of the U.S. Constitution:

1. I will write about anyone and anything that bothers me, and as long as this person is not being threatened, it goes on paper.

2. I will analyze whatever slanderous things appear that have my name on it.

3. I will not tolerate slander in comments or posts and if you’re gonna write my horrible last name, write the whole thing out, darn it.

4. I will not be sentenced to death by any body of government just because of an opinion.  Please, I won’t move to Iran for this one.  In my opinion, I’m sorry, but Muhammad might have been a child molester, stealing Aisha because she was nine and a virgin.  What’s this?  Nine-year-olds marrying is clear abuse and rape right there, and in Yemen and Saudi Arabia, that must stop.  It must stop.

5. Freedom to practice whatevr religion I want is clearly stated in the Constitution, so it will come here to this blog.  I’m Christian, so yeah, Christianity is what I practice.  Christianity is what we must think about and practice, and our nation built on those values should allow and tolerate Islam, not tell the world it’s a hateful religion.  Rev. Pat Robinson is kind of on the other side of that debate.  I could tell him that my ex was Muslim, and it would pain me to hear that it is a sword religion, live by the sword, die by the sword, that kind of thing.  It took my friend Elizabeth a while to get used to the fact that I wasn’t Muslim, and I won’t be, because if so, I can’t marry or spend a life with Blake.

6. I should have my opinions respected, and any casual things said about family or friends should not trample on people’s rights.  For instance, Eminem’s song Kim tramples on Kim Mathers’ right to live, and she sued, and yes, she won.  So there.

Now, the song in question was Hosier’s Take Me To Church.  If anyone has a real opinion on it, it’s Blake.  I also have a few songs I just can’t play, but I’m bound to play a bit of Metallica because it’s awesome.  Nothing Else Matters is a good song, but I will not play certain Papa Roach songs because simply put, they have some pretty bloody titles.  Getting Away with Murder?  And here are lyrics from another song:

“Cut my life into pieces.  This is my last resort.  Suffocation, no bleeding.  Don’t give a f— if I don’t … bleeding.”  I can’t remember the last three words, but those lyrics tell us a lot.  Now, Scars is overplayed.  I just don’t like Papa Roach.  I wouldn’t mind if Weird Al polkafied Papa Roach a bit, but Papa Roach itself is just plain bloody and dangerous.

If it’s a song that mirrors the dying, Jesus’ passion and resurrection, and so on, I’ll play it.  For instance, a bit of … hmmmm, Blood Bound?  Type O Negative?  I was introduced to some weird metal stuff, but it’s not all weird.  I prefer Nightwish and other kinds of metal with female vocalists.  Kingfisher Sky is fine.  But certain things I won’t play for the show because of the message, and certain songs just send the wrong message.  Playing Eminem, Papa Roach, and certain gangster rap songs would be like playing a half hour of Seven Dirty Words You don’t Say On TV.  Thanks, George Carlin.  To the guy who spoke of freedom of speech yesterday on Twitter, I do apologize and I won’t start shit, but let’s be careful what we say to each other.  I’m not one to step on people’s toes like that, and yes, I promise, I’ll research all songs.  For the rest of the people, please submit any requests a day or two in advance so I can research the songs.  Any songs by Eminem are subject to rejection if the song has to do with killing, example being Kim.  Please make sure you  have a good song.  I know some songs are sappy, but I actually love sappiness.  Sappy songs are pretty good.

Thank you all for reading the blog. … And goodnight from Denver.


Animals: How We Treat Them Reflects How We Treat Us

Dear Readers,

While watching Black Beauty, I am again reminded of how important our animal friends are to all of us: dogs, cats, horses, etc.  I am reminded repeatedly when I see dogs emaciated, cats hoarded, horses abused and whipped for millions of dollars, that animals have personalities as well as humans do.  Let me ask you this question, readers, how would you like your pets to tell you how much they love or hate you?  What if your pets could talk?  What would they say?

Ok, let’s see: if my dog could talk, I’m sure it would not think first about me.  Dogs just live so they can get food, water, and bones and toys and such.  If a horse could talk, like in the narration of Black Beauty, I’m sure the horse would tell you lots of things.  Now, readers, we turn to Gracie, the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy that was raised to breed pup after pup litter in a puppy mill.  What would she say?  I’m going to try and attempt to make Gracie a voice, I’m going to try and type out her ideas here.  They may not be accurate, but I’m going to try my best.  Let’s try an interview with the dog.  IF I could interview any of the dogs in a puppy mill, here’s what they’d say.

Imagine for a second you walked into a shelter.  You saw dogs, cats, and all sorts of animal friends waiting for you.  Walk up to the nearest dog in a cage, and here’s what you could ask:

Potential Dog Owner asks: Hi, sweet puppy.  Would you like a home?

Dog in Cage says: Yes, I’d love a good home, but I’m nervous.  I’ve lived in a puppy mill for x years. (let’s say about six).

We encounter the puppy mill part of the dog’s life, so if you were a vet, would you ask if the dog truly had mange?  What about heart worms?  Ok, here’s another question to ask Dog number 1.

Vet asks the dog: Are you feeling ok?

Dog number 1 says: My skin is irritating me, my eyes sting like bees repeatedly.  I swear I’m pregnant, but I’m not sure.  Maybe there’s a puppy inside, but I was forced to breed repeatedly and repeatedly.  My master didn’t care how much food or how little food I got, and so I’m kind of hungry right now.

Vet says: Ok, sweetie, here’s a treat.  From then on, the vet hands the dog a treat.

Interesting how we learn so much if pets had a voice.  Now, here’s something I’d personally want to ask a puppy mill dog:

1. How long have you lived in a puppy mill?

2. What was it like?

3. What would you expect from a new home and family?

4. How do you like your new family?

5. Who’s your favorite person in the family?

Here is what I think a dog would say.

1. I’ve lived in a puppy mill for like six years, and I’m close to the end of my breeding years.  Ugh.

2. I don’t want to talk about it.  All I can say was that I didn’t get enough food and water, and I had fleas.  That’s the beginning.  But then, I had babies, over and over again.  I lost all my young ones so many times.  It’s like the master doesn’t think of the lives of myself or my puppies as meaningful.  He just wants products to sell in a market.  We lived in a dark basement barn for years, so yeah.  It was awful.

3. I would expect my new home to be the same, but then again, I might be able to experience the kindness of human companionship.  Dogs are supposed to be man’s best friend, right?

Now, let’s ask the dog the next two questions after she’s settled in to her new home:

4. I love my new family.  It’s hard to adjust, but I dearly love my new family.  The master and mistress are great people and they feed me anything I want, pig ears included.

5. I don’t have a favorite I guess.  All of the family are good to me, and I get lots of love, hugs, and kisses.  I wish I could give kisses back, but it’s like, well, I’ve never given kisses much in my whole life, and now I have a reason to bark, wag my tail, and give kisses.

For those of you dog lovers out there, this is the most basic thing I’d expect pets to say.  Now, horses are a different story.  I love horses because they are like us women.  Dogs have different mating patterns than horses, but horses have a power that can be brought under control.  What would I ask a horse?  Hmmm.  Horses are mistreated as well as some form of dogs.  Let me tell all of you what I believe animals are like, and how we must treat them.

1. Dr. Phil once wrote that “We teach people how to treat us.”  I have plenty of examples of this, but here’s an extension of this: we teach our God’s creatures how to treat us as well, barring the ones who are wild and aggressive like the crocodiles and alligators and lions and wild zoo creatures.  If the animal is domesticated such as a dog, cat, or horse, we basically are responsible for them.  God made all creatures great and small, so the first thing we must know is when we feed alligators (illegal in Florida and other states, causing them to bite us of course), mistreat dogs, whip horses, abuse cats, hoard cats, etc., we are writing a lot on their little slates.  When we get to Heaven, that is if we can find it, God will know what we’ve done to his creatures.  Yes, he told Adam to “till the Earth”, but did he forget his creatures?  No.  The descendants of Adam are us, and we’re responsible for food and transport animals all the same as our pets.  Horses are not as often used for transport but they are in lots of places still.  We ought to let those animals know that this is their land.  They can eat grass, we can’t.  I wouldn’t expect my dog to eat burgers, so feed the dog the food it needs, right?  Yes, and cats too.

2. Animals can sense anything.  Since animals can smell fear and love, I’d be careful what we say to our dogs.  I’m not one to yell at a dog unless the dog is being aggressive, and then again, aggression comes with training.

3. Good training pays off.  With dogs and horses, not so cats much, good training pays off.  I don’t like the word “break” for horses.  Training is a more positive word there.  Dogs are trained as well, and for both dogs and horses, it is important to bond with and care for the animal in training.  Guide dogs are the most important among service animals.  The weirdest thing I learned about service dogs is how they disobey when they know their owner will be in danger.  A scene from Black Beauty depicts disobedience in the owner’s best interest well.  HE doesn’t go forward when John keeps telling him to go forward, and then John falls.  Beauty looks at him like, “I told you so.”  Had John trusted the horse, maybe he wouldn’t have fallen into the bridge thing.  John could see, and he still wanted the horse to get going.  Ugh.  Imagine the same dude with a guiding dog blind.  Guiding animals such as dogs should be trusted completely.  I put my life in the paws of a dog when I walk outside with one either guiding or if I’m walking the dog.  Usually, the pet dogs are heeled.  To heel a dog is better, but if I had a guide dog, I’d trust that dog with my life, and I’d treat the dog with so much love and care.  My friend Rhonda’s German shepherd Mya is a good example of a dog that gets the care she needs.  Mya is awesome, has been Rhonda’s best friend for six long years, and knows the people Rhonda hangs out with.  Mya tells Rhonda through her actions, “I like Lisa.”  “I like so and so.”  “I don’t think so and so is good for you.”  Basic stuff, really.  Mya is Rhonda’s judge of character by her body language.  It’s like dogs can do that and we don’t know it.  If I had a dog, I’d let her walk up to Blake, and if Blake was so inclined, he’d pet the dog.  When a dog is petted, it knows it’s being loved.  There is nothing like the genuine love and loyalty a dog shows a human, and same with horses.  Horses are so big that you have to be careful.  I’ve ridden horses, and the female ones are usually pretty cool.  The males and females of this species do not judge me, but still, I got scared of this one that tried to throw me around on a trail.  Ugh.  Dell was nuts, but still, he was a good horse.  I tried him out, but Honey and I had a plan.  Honey was the horse I’d ridden previously.  I loved her, and I’m sorry for her loss.  Honey was my friend Gloria’s favorite.  Honey was a funny honey, wanted food and loved carrots.  It can be a good and a bad thing, but still, a better way to say “Hey, no food yet” was to take her to the other side of the ring.  Positive Parelli training was the way to do it.  All of Gloria’s horses had a good sense and brains.  I wish I could ride again, and I love horses and dogs.  Cats are cool, but they’re just plain weird sometimes.  Cats are so weird they can cause problems when meowing too many times.  Ugh.  Cats can also be big balls of fur that don’t know what to do when called.

This, my friends, is a post about animals.  I love my animal friends, and yes, I’ve seen many a dog and cat get loved.  Horses as well.  So if you want a dog or a cat or a horse or if you want to be adventurous, a toad, please follow the rules and the guidelines and know what animals and people are to do in this life.


Letter to Guardians Who Want Nothing to Do with Choice … And a New Website, well, Not So New

Dear Readers,

I’d like to do a two parts to this post.  For one, I’m going to address a conversation I had with someone on the phone who thinks I’m “not getting the companionship” I need.  Do I need companions?  I want a husband, a child, family, the dog in the yard, a house, the typical American dream.  It’s like I”m not allowed that because of disability, and it’s simple as that.  Why can’t the person on the other end of the line see this?  All the person sees is that I am “obsessed” with the Backstreet Boys, which isn’t true much at all.  I do listen to them, but I’m not so obsessed that I’m like my friend Katie, smashing CD’s and tearing up wall posters or whatever.  I can’t see at all unlike my dear friend Katie, so not seeing makes it horrible.  She got to see Lars from Metallica through binoculars, and that isn’t quite what I’d get.  I’d get nothing, and I would wish to see things, but I can’t.  Can’t the NFB educate these Brevard County nutheads about the guardianship’s impact on me?  Here then is a letter to those who favor the guardianship and I’m going to tel the people who they’re messing with.

To Whom It May Concern, including judges, lawyers, etc., and those who fail to help,

I, Beth Taurasi, do not appreciate the following things because of your lack of knowledge and education on such matters.  The way you have set things up is terribly wrong and uncalled for due to blindness, and the made up allegations of emotional problems are due to your abuse.  Abuse is abuse, and you have to face the problem head on.  You slapped me on the head when it moved, yet you claim you want a “normal” child.  Well, None of any blind organization would advocate abusive behavior.  And I’m being held accountable for Mom’s abusive behavior, and that is how it goes.  I’m being told not to write about it because the parents, lawyers, etc. want to cover their butts.  No, coverups don’t do well for me.  Then, being accused of writing excessively about rape is uncalled for.  While rape is a problem with disabled and underprivileged females, and sometimes males, it is a problem that does not call for sweeping it under the rug.  Guardianship could subject me to anything from bad roommates to rape to … well, murder.  You don’t seem to care that group homes and facilities for the disabled do not have freedom, do not have anything but activity groups that I’m not interested in.  Socializing is great, but not with people who need to learn to do this.  I’m already in a relationship, and yet you downplay it like it’s an obsession.  To the lawyers this letter addresses, you need to put this in to consideration and tell the defendants in this case to just plead guilty to guardianship fraud and get out of here.  Owning up to only one statement is not enough.  I want a total own up to all statements, including, but not limited to, “You’re obsessed with …” “You can’t …”  The whole thing.  IF the guardianship is not owned by the guardians themselves, and if the money is not put in the bank because they know they’ve got themselves in a deep pit, they won’t get test results.  I don’t know how to say this otherwise.  I need money, and if I need money, do not tell me how to spend it and where not to go with it.  I don’t give a damn about your financial controls, and I want to do many things, but with $730 that’s not enough.  I can’t buy a house with that, put down a payment on it, can’t do a lot, I have to rent a low income garbage pail with it.  While this apartment doesn’t have bugs in it, thank God, you are lucky it doesn’t have crime around it.  I’ve been near a fair market apartment where a Spanish gang was arguing and stuff, and Jataya had to chase the gangsters off the premises.  Oh, and may we not forget a guy from my care company messed up and he’s not allowed on the premises again?  This really makes me sick that people can walk all over me, including my own family.  You claim you love me, but you’re not doing the loving thing by giving up.  A teacher claims she loves her students by … yep, you won’t need to hear what’s next.  Fifty shades of darkness, that’s what.  I see headlines a lot about teachers touching students in inappropriate ways, and that’s love?  Uh uh.  It’s not.  Mary K. might have committed a crime in someone’s eyes, but then the only exception as this is, why did she marry her victim?  Why did she marry Vili?  Mary and Vili are having issues as it is, so why’d they marry?  Blake and I are not minor and adult, so why are you making it impossible for us to live together without complications?  Because you’re in control and you need power and money, so here’s what we’re going to do: take all that power and money and put it away.  I’m putting all that power and money in the garbage and in the social book of predatory guardians where it belongs.  This means you pay lost wages, the down payment on the house, Blake and I’s marriage counseling if we suppose we need it, but we can’t wait till it’s too late.  I want it lined up so we can go to some form of a Biblical spiritually based mental health marriage and couples counseling so we can stay together.  I don’t want this to fail, and I can’t afford failure.  As Butch says in Cats and Dogs regarding the mission to stop the cats from conquering the dogs, he goes, “Failure is not an option.”  So yeah, failure is no option, and I won’t allow a divorce because of the complications and the things that could pop up.  For instance, I could lose all custody and visits with kids, be supervised by a sighted ignoramus who doesn’t give a damn about me.  It could be someone hired by the court to “monitor” the things I say to my kids.  Blake could be accused of one thing, me another.  We could have a bitter custody battle, and it goes on.  Some parents abduct kids when one parent wants custody over another.  I could be written off as crazy and insane and stuff, and then it could be a Britney Spears all over again.  This is why we need counseling.  This is why we’re going to sit down with a female counselor, someone who can work with both of us, not just Blake, not just me.  And no matter how much money it costs, the guardians former at that time will pay up.  Counseling is important now because I don’t want to put the bad memories in my own children or husband or whatever.  I want a life, and I don’t want people to say, “Get a life.”

You can tell me that I’m no use to a man, but Blake loves me, and you can tell me that I’m just an obsessive b—.  But no, I’m not.  I’m sure you want all that power and money and you have enough power and influence but the NFB is willing to throw that power and money in the garbage.  My hope is that they actually live up to what they say, and never say, “Not high priority.”  The guardian thing is a high priority thing because it would also prevent me from going to law school if I so chose.  I know Scott and the gang are busy with law school students who are taking Bar exams, but shouldn’t they get into law school first?  LSAT?  And what if a guardian said I could never be a lawyer?  Swep and the Bars of Our Prison comes to mind when I hear that.  Scott said something about Swep, and it got me thinking.  Daytona Rehab was the same thing, and not CCB, but before Jenny Hatch pulled her wits together, the NFB honestly did not take a stand against Guardianship.  Now they will, and they have to.

Watch your backs and fronts, and you will be ok, but your power and money is history.


Part 2 is this: I found a computer game some of you might like.  I found this whole thing called Beatstar, and I beat two Eurodance sound levels as well as others.  You get beat coins and you buy things with them, safeguards you can use to keep from losing a game, etc.  I have a Mario soundpack, but yeah.  Yall should try it.  For more, the website is

Letter to the Man Responsible For Ruining My Whole Life and Family Relationships

Dear Rick Guerra,

Yes, you heard right.  You are receiving this letter from me because you are responsible for all of this mess with my family and myself.  As much as my dad thinks I’m distorting facts, that isn’t true.  You don’t want to believe, Rick, that you’re responsible for all the crap that went down.  I’ll never forget, as much as anyone wants to forget, the time I stood in the entrance of the master bedroom and heard the dreadful words, “We’re going to get guardianship so we can take care of you.”  Thanks to you, sir, I don’t have my right to get married to Blake and other men in my life for whom my heart was pleased.  My parents do not like any of the decisions I’ve made, and wrongfully accused me of writing about rape so often on the Internet, and accuse me of “spreading rumors” about “rape.”  Guess what?  I write often about disability rights issues, including the right to marry, raise a family, be yourself.  I was only treated as a savantish Diva.  I’m no bella diva, so I’ll say this much: my parents are being stingy because they claim they spent all that money on lessons and singing lessons, and it just doesn’t get any worse.  Rick, my parents also wasted their time and energy and money on the filing fees, and there is an obvious problem with this.  They don’t like it when I write about them on the Internet, but that’s what they get for accusations of distorting facts.  Blake would never be manipulated from me or taken by them, but it’s you who’s going to lose out on this, Mr. Guerra.

For everybody’s info, Rick Guerra was a guy that lived in West Palm Beach, on some island in the middle of the Palm Beaches in Florida.  West Palm would’ve been my home had it not been for the fact that I was seventeen and a girl at the time.  Well, Rick, seventeen is too young for me to be leaving the house.  So what if you were raised in orphanages?  I don’t care!  You still had a responsibility for your daughter and ex.  I don’t want to ever call Blake an ex husband, and ever have to face that Blake gets sole “custody” of “daughters” or sons.  I will not allow it.  I want to have a happier life, and I don’t want the daily reminder of you and your stupidity.  I’m going to have to say this much: I wasn’t sure I found you on Facebook, but there was some girl called Angie listed as your sister.  Could this be the same Angie that I saw at Red Hot and Boom?  Could this be the very same Angie I knew before?  I’m stuffed here in a little apartment in Denver with memories about me.  I’m sitting here, Colorado bound, with memories of you all over me.  Because of the haunting memories, I gave away your stupid perfume.  I even threw out your down comforter.  Yes, I threw out your stuff, everything about you I didn’t want to remember, and yet Shakira and Rihanna say that I can’t remember to forget you.  Gosh, Rico, you really don’t get it.  I was only 17, and there was an accusation of grooming at the time.  Well, the proof would’ve come with a cost, and my parents went way too far.  Too far.

I can’t be alone in the house anymore, and I want nobody else, no bad staffers in some shoddy group home, I want my Blake, and that’s it.  I’d rather be with Blake, and I’d rather be checked on so often, every so much or whatever.  Blake and I would work out a plan so that I can meet him for lunch and so on.  Also, we would have to work out a plan so that I”m not just in a place without transportation and stuff.  That’s hard.  I want to be able to take my children out for play dates, things with other parents and kids, etc.  I would like to for once be seen as a first class citizen of the United States of America, and no, I have not said I was raped or whatever.  See, Dad?  Wrongo on that one.

What I’m saying is that I want to be a first class person with a first class existence.  I’m not distorting anything, I fuzzily recall things, but those things have affected me big time.  I fuzzily recall the comparisons frequently made of me to Britney and Christina, and both of those women, Britney especially, have gone out and wasted their lives.  Except that Christina got the judging part in The Voice, then she left.  Damn.  I’m sorry, but I do think that being accused of distorting facts is the worst thing you could do to me.

Rick Guerra, if you are a pervert, admit to it now.  If not, fine, maybe my family has taken it too far.  We were just friends, perhaps.  But remember, I’m not 28 years old and confronting my parents was not an easy task.  I can’t exactly recall all of conversations because it is clouded with the after effects.  So here’s what I recall, a timeline if you will, of what happened since I have been home and out of your influence, sir.

1. I recall expectations from early on that I’m going to sit there and let boys come to me and crawl all over me like I’m a piece of bread on the grass, and the boys are flies ready to eat the bread.  Guess what?  Even  recently in a phone conversation I had with Dad, he still thinks I need to have Blake propose.  Well, no man will do this to a girl knowing a guardianship is in place, whether he personally knows that or not.  Blake may have to call my parents and so on, but I don’t think he’s in the mood.  HE accuses me of manipulating Blake and so I decided the only way to get Dad off my back for the moment was to say, “Blake proposed.”  Dad lives in a warped little traditional world where men propose to their women with diamonds and pearls down on one knee, which can’t happen.  As romantic as it sounds, Blake isn’t ready to do this to someone who has guardianship, and he’s not the only one.  I want to be proposed to, but that will never happen.  I’ve had to accept that men simply do not propose to women like myself, and it sounds defeatist, but I’m sorry, when you’ve been told that you don’t make the cut, you don’t have what it takes, you’re going to live in a “paper sack pearl”, you don’t really have a choice.

2. There’s this thing about the Backstreet Boys and N. Sync thing.  I say to my dad that the family took it and turned it into a mental health concern.  Well, they sure did.  I had diaries, which can no longer be read, but I don’t want the Backstreet Boys and N. Sync involved in such a thing.  Everybody was obsessed with boy bands of this nature throughout recorded musical history, and for crying out loud, it wasn’t just BSB or N. Sync.  It was elvis Presley, the Beatles, opera castrato singers, etc.  I could go back and back and back.  Greek men had obsessions with their lovers back then, and some little boys had obsessions with Socrates.  Let’s go further back in recorded time.  It just is something you can’t shake off historically.  So there you have it.  I don’t see why my brothers were even allowed to fantasize that Squirtel the Pokemon character made it rain.  That is totally not true.  God makes the rain, and God is infinite and transcends shapes, colors, time.  HE can come in fire, light, heat, etc.  He can come in the mists, the rains, the earthquakes in Nepal, elsewhere in California here, and so on.  What’s next?  Is Pikachu going to make lightning fall from the sky?  Squirtel and Pikachu in some people’s minds make the lightning storms.  Right?  I have proof that cannot be made true.  Such anime inspired legend does not exist and should never be written down for the world to believe.  Genesis, the first book in the Bible, is as true as one can get towards a step by step instruction manual on how to create the world.  God made rain, God made thunder and lightning.  So why should Pikachu and Squirtel get credit for something God does?  And the Backstreet Boys were gifted by … God.  Bryan Littrell sang Christian music, and still does today.  I’d like to see some of his stuff, thank you.  He doesn’t get his gift from any thing but God.  God gave the ancients gifts to use for his gain and glory, and we know the stories of Moses and Aaron, the sons of Aaron, etc.  It goes further.  Noah and Jesus and all the prophets and messengers that my ex talked about were all gifted by God.  When the Ancient Egyptians were plagued ten times, it was because they felt their Ra or Aman or Atten were stronger than any one God.  That is not true.  Nobody is greater than God the Father, and that’s final.  Jesus’s heavenly existence is thanks to God.  And the rain is to be credited with God, not some cartoonish existence of a turtle in the sky.

3. My dad says I’m not getting “companionship.”  He actually owns up to one statement and one statement alone.  I would benefit from a group home.  Guess what?  My friend Jennifer got pissed when I told her.  Jennifer and Katie and Nick are all group home recipients past and present.  They can say that the group homes either punish too much, corroborate with guardianship papers to force me to do things, or I would be starved or given bad food that I may not like or want at one time or another.  Group homes have no benefit, and while the Attalissa story is more than that, it shows that forcing young men with developmental disabilities into group care with less qualified individuals is not the best way to put up with disabled folks.  Ok, so why is Dad reading my blog?  And what makes him think I’d benefit from a home?  Guess what?  I’m never going to a group home, and I made a promise.  I’d be willing to talk to the boys about a possible in home independent solution other than skilled nursing care for both parents if they are too old to take care of themselves, or if Mom or Dad gets a stroke.  Strokes are prevalent in Dad’s family, but he’s not biologically related to me, so maybe I won’t have a stroke.  I don’t know for sure.  But strokes suck, and the aftermath of a stroke can be devastating.  If my elderly mother, for instance, had a stroke, I’d be happy to make sure she and Dad both get in home care, I don’t care how much.  Granny Nannies, anyone?

4. As of this time, I’m living in Denver, with no one here, but for good reasons.  I will not allow anyone else to go neglecting or abusing me.  Absolutely not.  So there you go.  Rick, you need to own up to the possibility you could’ve had an illicit relationship with me.  I also want you to own up to being too secretive and too weird with me and Jessica.  I’m not friends with Jessica, and she went back and forth, back and forth, and it’s amazing how she did that.  Jessica M. really needs to get her butt in gear and apologize for accusations of infidelity on Blake’s part.  I don’t want Blake to be involved in such a weird scandal.  If all I’m good for is scandal and plausible incompetence, then I guess I should not have written this blog.  IF I were truly incompetent, then care should not be an option here.  Rick, if not for you, I would be as crazy as Jeff from this mental place I went to.  That is crazy, I am not.  The whole weirdness of “Oh, it’s a dream.  Hillary Duff is going to show up when it rains.  Oh, oh …”  That drove me insane, and I knew that I wanted to be nice to him, but all he heard coming through his stupid CD player was that Hillary Duff song, Come Clean.  I won’t have that in my life any longer.  I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell.  I’m not in a good mood at this time, and I’m trying to have a civilized conversation with Dad, but I’m not sure how to approach this mess with civility.  For one, my parents need to meet Blake, and they will not force a proposal.  Blake will propose when he is good and ready, or I will when I am good and ready.  Rick, you would never have made a good husband for me, and I’m so damn glad that’s over.  I really need a soldier, a really better soldier.  Blake sure knows how to take care of me, and he don’t just come over.


Elizabeth Taurasi, your weird nightmare

Wow, My Computer’s Been Weird, and So Has the Phone Issue

Dear readers,

My cell was broken for a while, and I had to go with no device for a while because some oaf gave me a battery that after eleven months of service, fried my sim card.  Ugh!  So, this is what I did: I returned the bad phone to Motorola, fried batteries and all, but I’m wondering if they will do something about the phone with no good SIM card things.  I got this new phone … a Moto G in the mail, but it didn’t have the proper SIM Card thing, so guess what?  I had to either buy a phone or make Motorola replace it again.  Motorola misinformed me about the phone being locked, and I’d like to hit them with a lawsuit or a complaint because some guy called Chris, well, he was from Indian or Nigeria or something, could have been a con artist, just read the damn script and I want to see all those Indian people get fired.  Not that I have a problem with India, but they are not well educated in the disability culture of the United States.  I can’t stress it enough.  Off shore calling sites are bad for blind people, and cheap though they be, they are stupid, bad, all things you can say.  Microsoft has the same issue and so did AIO Wireless.  Ugh.  Please don’t buy a Motorola phone if you can help it.  I Phones have the American help blind people need to survive the phone centered society we live in.

Now, my pc had a virus as well, and so I deleted the virus, or so I think, but IE won’t write anything in the damn fields when I tried to sign in here, so I reinstalled Firefox, and lo and behold, it worked again.  My pc has been there for like five years, and it’s time for me to think I need a new one, but new computers are too expensive.  This poor baby’s been overheating, and causing poor Blake to be inconvenienced with absence of his dear girlfriend.

Also, an update on the Jessica Mabelin situation: I’d like to say I apologize and I knew that Miss Jessica would get back.  Jessica G. is here again, and I want to thank her for at least opening the door and rolling on in.  You are welcome to stay for as long as you wish, and yes, I hope you have fun with a new pc as well.  Her Mic drivers are broken as my sound card drivers are broken.  Ugh.

For those of you who don’t know the weird details, I found Selma described on Blind Mice Megamall, so I downloaded it.  No problems.  Now, next, … ugh!  I want Cats and Dogs, Described!  Oh God!  I loved that movie, and I wanted to watch Mr. Kittycat get thrown in the jailhouse in a jail outfit.  I’m sorry, but those of you who are pet lovers, dogs rule!  Try training a cat to guide a blind person, herd sheep, and guard a loot.  You can’t do that!  So yeah, dogs rule and cats drool!

And for those of you who really wanna know, here’s a few reasons why I’d go for dogs versus the cats:

1. Dogs can scare stuff away like bees, mice, etc., and yes, they will chase and hunt down game, so yeah, Blake’s stepdad Joe could probably use a good dog to hunt deer and stuff, or raccoons.

2. Dogs can guide blind people like me, Blake, and others I know.  Dogs can also alert you to seizures, help you with other situations, make you feel better all around, give you kisses, etc.  Can a cat do that aside from making you feel like the thing is cute?  And what about the next item?

3. Dogs know how to fetch balls and walk on a heel with a leash.  Cats?  Um, they just make it harder for some to clean the litter box.  And what is the point of litter boxes for dogs anyway?  They go in the yard, and sometimes you can make fertilizer out of manure, but though not dog manure, you could possibly do that depending on what you feed the dogs.

4. Dogs are so much cuter and come in golden and deeper and more rich colors than cats.  And if you want a pet parrot, the dog won’t eat the parrot, but the cat will give it a go if it hasn’t been raised right.  Dogs are also more socialized and doable with humans, like, um, they can sit with you and watch TV and stuff.  Try training a cat to sit with a biscuit.  Haha to those cat lovers out there, but aside from your cats being cute and cuddly and trying to bring “gifts” to you in the house, I suppose the dogs have a leg up on trainability and the intelligence and stuff.  Now, here’s a dare to you neutral people: I dare you to let a dog out to eat a squirrel, a mouse, or a rat that has been colonizing your basement.  Or, even bigger dare, try training a cat to lead me around on command.  I bet that cat will lose its way quick. Ha ha.  So you know, that’s just my personal preferences: dogs rule!

Selma Broken Down

Dear Readers,
This is a quicky review of what it’s like to watch the movie Selma, and it reminds me that as a white person, I’m not privileged. I’m sick of seeing wuite over black, and white being good and black being bad. So what if someone has white or fair skin? That doesn’t give them any more privilege than the black people. Blind individuals here have gotten their own version of Selma, the Help America Vote Act. That law was supposed to help us vote. Well, I’m not registered to vote here in this part5icular precinct, but it will happen when my ID expires and I have to do what I have to do. Selma is a docudrama about the Voting Rights marches in Alabama, what they called the “cradle of Confederacy.” I hate Confederate symbols and flags because they stand for hate and slavery as well as denial of rights to those who are not only white, but sighted, male landowners. The sighted males who own land should never ever think they have all the rights in the world to trump over the rights of a blind woman to use the airport, go places, walk outside her door, get married, etc. I’d ask Dr. King the following questions, and I’ll go ahead and give responses to waht those questions would entail. If only Dr. King and I had been on the same plane, but we aren’t. Sadly, he was assassinated three years after Selma, maybe two years after. So here’s what I’d ask:
1. Have you been aware that black teenagers are being killed by police for erroneous things?
2. Are you aware of blind women, both black and white, who are denied their right because they are blind?
3. How should I go about starting a Revolution so that blind individuals, no matter what affiliate organization you’re with, can all get along and have rights to do things such as vote, marry, have kids, etc.?
4. Did you know that we have kids taken away from us if we’re having them or have had them?
5. What would you do if you saw someone deny us our entrance and admittance to a show, event, or establishment based on guide dog usage?

Here’s what I think he’d say, and this might surprise you.
1. It would not surprise me. Blakc boys are the Sheriff’s worst nightmare. They get killed because they’re black, and some white people just don’t get it. But we must be aware that peace is the answer, not violence.
2. Hmmm, I don’t think that surprises me either.
3. Peace is the answer. Don’t let yourself be lured in to violent and militant groups that don’t like you for one reason or another. Or you can start your own thing, just … well, as I’d say, do yo thang.
4. These people are nuts. Taking away children from perfectly affectionate parents, blind or otherwise, is wrong. I see people being locked up in basements all the time, abused, called Stink, etc. It sucks. We need to help those kids and stop just erroneously taking away children from parents who are really capable.\
5. Wow, dogs as guides? … Let’s see who can bring them in.l

The Mod Meeting and Other Matters

Dear Readers,
Here are the new rules that Nick and I and the others came up with for Nick’s channel on Zello. This post again is dedicated to Zello users who frequent Nick’s Pardy. Yeah, Pardy is misspelled, but oh well. Let’s do this now:
All the rules apply except for the new one is this: no gossip and lies. We are not putting up with gossip, and if we have to quote the Bible on this, we will. This includes eliminating anyone who has said or spread gossip. We’re sick of the disabled community’s tendency of growing gossipy and spreading lies about me. I was told don’t tell others about my illness, but that adds to the stigma. Stigma sucks, and I’m not one to take it. Ok, so what if I had a gay son or lesbian daughter? What to do? If you’re in a Conservative man-woman thing, should you leave your homosexual son or daughter to die in the hills? I think not. Life is what it is, and you must respect it.
So here are the things that are most commonly gossiped about and what we will do about it:
1. So and so is gay. So what if someone said that a guy I knew was “gay” and “weird”? First and foremost, I’ve been around gay folks, and they’re just the weirdest in a nice way people in the world. The guys who claim that others are gay are crazy. Not all people are considered gay. There’s a song that a weirdo rapper did that says, “Love is for girls and gays.” Wrong. I’m sorry, but to be accused of being gay is stupid and can be a real deadly threat to someone. IF my son were to be accused of being gay, he’d have to tell us. He’d have to tell us a lot, and I’m sorry, but if anyone in my family advocates the suicide or killing of a boy because he either likes to do things with flowers and fashion or cries when hurt, that’s stupid. Men have to cry. So yeah, no gay gossip people.
2. So and so is cognitively impaired or has bad social skills. Well then why do I for instance have Blake and Bethany and all my friends and family in CO? Why is this? Can you answer this? Um, that’s right. You can’t. You’re brainless enough not to answer that question.
3. So and so pees on their kitchen floor/bodily stuff/disgusting habits. Ok, I’ll confess something. I have a tendency to burp. Well, anyone burps. But here’s another one: I tend to pull snot from my nose because … I don’t know how to say it. It’s a bad habit, and doesn’t anyone else have a bad habit? Oh yeah, people do have bad habits? I’m sure some of you smoke, drink, pull fingernails, etc. Fingernail biting is a bad habit a lot of people have. It’s weird. Picking one’s nose? Ok, so what if someone does that? Ok, so what about eating with one’s mouth open and being accused of not having good manners with food? Please pass the education, and I’ll explain something. I can eat with my mouth closed, but some people can’t. Some people have no airway in the nose, and I’m lucky I have one. But for those who don’t, please be nice and considerate and don’t talk about their eating/chewing habits.
Now, people, we know the three gossip topics people talk about. One more is clear: who’s dating who. I’m sick of talking about people cheating, but it goes to show that the disabled community cheats, is unfaithful, etc. I have some people to thank for this. My friends have gone through hell, and they’re divorcing or cheating on each other. What ever happened to marriage for life? For Heaven’s sake, what the hell happened? Blake and I? We will be friends, significant others, whatever for life. I want something that lasts, and will stay this way, pass the test of time, etc. Timeless love is something any woman should be wanting, and so should any man, when looking at someone for relationship purposes. If Blake and I had a baby and the baby making was hard on me, he might give me a break from cooking. He’s just that kind of guy. He’s super helpful, and I need that if for instance I’m down in bed and my stomach is shredded with pain, etc. If I am told I’m bed ridden and Blake wants to help, well, it’s the doc’s orders, so yeah. Just as an example of this, my aunt had a child, and she has nine of those kids. During her pregnancy with her eighth child, she was bedridden due to preaclamsia symptoms, so the doctor put her on a strict bedrest thing and my grandmother went to help with the rest. We have a good family I’ll say. I just hope to God I can stay on my feet and cook and forget about things for a while. … I don’t want to be on my bed much longer. I want to cook good foods, good fresh veggies and stuff, and since there will be multiple mouths to feed, I’ll be experimenting on the kids and hubby and myself. I’ll be doing lots of that, but I don’t want nine kids for Heaven’s sake. How does Mrs. Dugger cope with 19 kids and counting? God, I need to watch that show. … That’s too many kids. I can’t deal with that many kids. … So yeah, I’m sure I’ve got a good catch.
But the whole purpose of our mod meeting was simple and quick: we’re not putting up with gossip. That means the Jessica G.’s and RJ Sandefurs and all that stuff … sorry, guys, but those people are gone. Jealous oafs can’t join and people who don’t want me to be happy in life can’t join.
Now, time to watch some Adult Swim selections, including the Simpsons, Family Guy, etc. Wow. TV is great, but I’m not one to sit there and watch it all day. I’ve got a routine going for sure. I just wish that I had a better phone with a better OS and stuff. Oh, Jessie the Messy, just go out and get me a Nexus 6 for Heaven’s sake. … God, I wish I had one. …
I’d like to name a person of the month now, something good on the blog. The person who comments the most on my blog, Kyle I know you’re gonna be weirded out by this, does not count. My person of the month this month is Jessie the Messy … whatever you call yourself. Jessie has been helpful with tech questions and has always been the grapevine for tech news. Like, “I heard a rumor that Star Wars Com Links are gonna be made now.” Just an example, but I think Apple’s Watch looks to me or sounds like a Star Wars com wrist communicator. Com links are pretty simple and weird too.
Ok, my guy of the month club is cool. And I’d like to nominate Blake as president of my Person of the Month Club. Why? Well, he’s been helpful, and gosh, the patience is boundless, but the love even more. Thanks, Blake and Jessie. You guys are both the most beautiful messes in the world.

A Note to Zello Users

This is a post dedicated to Zello users. For one, I was blocked by Mabelin from coming into Nick’s channel. Nick was upset, and that’s why for all intent and purpose, there is now a password lock on the channel. Everybody’s out, and we’re putting only good and proper people in to the channel. Mabelin and Jessica are no longer allowed in the channel, and it looks like we’re having a meeting of moderators who are still in the channel. That includes but is not necessarily going to exclude Blake, me, Nick, and Wendy. So a note to Skypers, it will only be me, Nick, Wendy, Blake, and whoever else we have as mods, but not Jessica G. and Mabelin. Both those girls are totally out of the channel unless Nick otherwise wants it that way. The password lock will not be given out, and any bad person who asks for it can’t have it. That’s why it’s a password lock. It’s going to lock people out. So Nick and I decided that much while looking into the channel issue. A note to those who are deleting me on Skype because of your moodiness, do not do it. That means Jennifer Scott. I’m sorry but you can’t just sit there and take your moody stuff out on me and delete me. I was busy last night, and you always seem to find excuses for telling me that “busy” means not your friend. That is not true. I’m struggling with this too, and it’s hard, but there’s no excuse for you to sit there and act moody and delete people because they don’t do what you want. Thank you all for your cooperation.

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