First blog post in a while, and a warning

Dear readers,

First of all, I’d like to thank you guys for being so wonderful and liking my stuf on WordPress. Second, I have a bit of a warning. This is personal.

I’ve been blocked on Twitter by someone I thought was a friend. I had to delete his phone number anyway because he turned out to have what Tallahassee from Zombieland franchise movies calls “a purdy mouth”. Yeah, he had a pretty big mouth and probably was engaging in HIPAA based attacks on my mental state and health. This is unprecedented territory and must be stopped. Imagine if someone spread a rumor that I had Covid19. Imagine for a moment it was you who was the victim of a big bad rumor that you heard voices in your head, had cancerous tumors growing out your ass, etc etc. This is not something you mess around with, and health attacks are downright illegal. The man’s name? I hate to be the namer of things, but his twitter account is jorgepaez1994 and he blocked me so he could probably engage in these HIPAA based attacks. I warn you all that if you are my supporters and reading this, do NOT use this information to harass or bring bad luck to this user. He already knows what’s coming. Please do not contact this person, and do your best to warn others of what he and his buddies are probably up to. Blocking me on Twitter for any reason other than I did something wrong is quite stupid. And engaging in HIPAA based attacks will not be tolerated or made legal by your hand. If you don’t want people spreading rumors about you and if you don’t want people to say something that is inaccurate or untrue, do not engage in this unprecedented attack on my health and well being. My parents are reversing guardianship guidelines as it is because they know they messed up, they know that now it’s too late for me to have a healthy and happy family and success in any career. They know what kind of bullshit that guardianship brought, and it was all evil and bad luck. Jorgepaez1994 is not to be contacted, and I won’t be in touch with him much at all, if not at all because of these HIPAA based attacks and the fact is he followed and blocked me. He attacked my dignity along with some others, usernames I don’t wish to name at this time because I was threatened once. Also, if there’s anyone who wants to engage in a HIPAA based attack, turn yourself in immediately and don’t say a word. Do not spread medical misinformation about anything, whether it’s me or the corona virus. Spreading rumors is not a good activity to engage in, and the blindness community does not need to be spreading HIPAA related information about me, and this is my own story to tell. That guardianship is gone with the wind, so you all move on. If I find that any of you guys tries to get in my shoes about Jorgepaez1994, please note that I will not respond to threatening phone calls and letters, and I won’t respond to any harassment by email or text message. Please, stop telling me to venture into dangerous territory. Florida is the second highest covid state in the nation, so there’s no reason to travel there at this point. Even this guy knows it.

For those who’ve behaved themselves on here, thanks. I appreciate the love and support i’ve gotten since disabling comments. Nobody is to comment here on the blog, and that is because of trolls and haters like the guy I mentioned earlier. I don’t know what his real intent is by following me and suddenly blocking me on Twitter. But it don’t look good. I don’t want purdy mouths on my twitter or facebook commenting weird, so please, if you’re a zombie and you plan to eat me in Zombieland, do stay in your fictional parallel universe and don’t eat at all. Thank you all, and I hope I can be of better service to you all in the future.


Kids Fearful of going Back to School with Corona Virus Pandemic Around

If you have Apple news, this article will help immensely with kids and Covid19, so please read this. Dr. Bracho-Sanchez, if I am doing this right, is someone I know. I might know this woman, but okay, this is what she wrote, and there’s empirical evidence here.

Educational Deficiencies in America Drive Me Bonkers

Dear readers,

I’d like to rip a few pages from a book. Yes, education is key to a good society and being a civilized human being. It all depends, however, on what country we’re all located in. Germany has the best model of education I’d like to point out, so you German peoples who can read this, take notes please.

First, the primary school is like all primary schools. Germans have a fancy name for their primary school, greumschool, sort of. I hope I got that right, something like that. But their primary grades cover kindergarten, which is a word derived from German as well, through about the fifth or sixth grade in America. You might spend about five or six years in the schools there, primary grades being the usual fundamentals in learning. Next, you go to German middle schools, which cover about seventh through twelfth grades, but here’s the kicker: sometimes you are able to get tracked into classes and vocations that exercise your strengths. This is something America has no concept of, or at least lacks. In the tenth grade, German style, you’d take a special aptitude test, the Avitur, I think that’s what it would be called. This test would determine, for example, that Little Otto will grow up to be an automobile mechanic, or perhaps little Charlie could end up being a teacher. Your son or daughter is not expected to pass or fail this test, it is purely a test to see where your strengths and weaknesses are. And someone ripped pages from Germany when they wrote the book City of Darkness. Ben Bova, acclaimed scifi author, wrote this story in an earnest attempt to look at America’s future. Bova wrote a story in which all sixteen-year—olds prepare for their “career vector” life choice. Much like the Avitur test in German educational systems, Bova’s career vectors determine which career you will go into. Boys and girls I think choose their career paths, and Ron wanted to be an engineer, or astronomer, or astronaut. However, his dad wanted him to go into business, but Ron was like, fuck it, no. Oh no I won’t. And that’s where the story begins in reality.

The difference in Germany’s education system and the American system is truly astounding. Unfortunately, America is systemically biased and racist, which could lend itself to people manipulating Blacks and Browns to lower class and dirty jobs in the sphere of aptitudes. it already happens, but we need unbiased and antiracist teachers to believe in these bright young African American minds. Trenton, my partner in crime, is a good example of someone who would benefit from a good aptitude track record. His testing would have to have accommodations in it, yes, but he’d pass the English, math, and IT portions of such a test. Maybe we should do something to see if kids would like technology. What would an American aptitude test look like?

I’d say we could try putting in the usual English, other languages would also be offered. Perhaps German, Latin, and Spanish should be. offered as options to take in the aptitude test. But before you get your own version of the main test, you’d have to take a survey. The survey would gauge your likes, dislikes, and other things, but it would show you career paths you might be interested in. Next, you’d have to take a written test, something like one with English, reading, a bit of basic math, sciences, and music and the creative theories and such. Based on the aptitudes tested and the survey question results, then you’d be further tested and then the counselor would meet with the student. The student would use the objectives, some strengths and weaknesses set down by the counselor, to determine career opportunities. For example, if little Willie wants to take cooking and cook for a hobby, he would write in his survey that he enjoys food, food preparation, and other things. Then, he’d take an aptitude test that would study how well he measures, remembers recipes, and can understand and convert Imperial units and European or SI metrics. Those are important, especially if setting the temperature of an oven. Little Willie could be given home economics as part of his aptitude results, but then he’d be given extra math courses if he says, for example, I’d like to own a restaurant. I am using the example of a little Willie because girls are often the ones tracked into home economics classes, which should not always happen, so I decided to go with a guy’s name instead.

There are just a few different aptitudes we have to avoid, however. First, no test would ever find that a girl is fit for nothing but sex work. Second, a test would not favor birthmothering only for girls. To be a sex worker or birth mother would be written off as gender biased aptitude statements, and might be a cause of many a lawsuit to a school. Blind women need a fair aptitude result that might put them in better positions, things like restauranteur or master chef, or perhaps they could be given the option of journalism, or even construction work and engineering if they love designing floor plans. The possibilities must remain endless. Germany offers this to all german students, so why the hell not! America, wake up. You need something that totally beats out the standardized test scores. Teachers, teach the students, and let them invite all possibility into their lives. For example, Little Caitlin in kindergarten builds things with legos, loves to play with micromachines, cars, and trucks. Not like her girl classmates, Caitlin would love Star Wars and science related shows growing up, and then, at fourteen, she would do well in middle school science. Here’s another idea: compile this student’s records into her high school aptitude test, and then the counselor could sit down with sixteen-year-old Caitlin and say, “Well, you’ve done lots of things in science. You have a strong aptitude for science and tech, so here are some options. You could do web design, software engineering, or perhaps acoustical engineering, music production, …” blah blah blah blah blah. Caitlin would then choose the career choices she wants, none of which involves sex work, birthing, and cooking. There you have it. If Bill in kindergarten was messing with his mom’s cooking stuff, then later pretended to make food with Play Dough, then later decides to serve folks at a diner, sixteen years later, Bill could bee a chef. Bill would still have to include cooking in his aptitude things, but when little Bill grows to be a middle schooler, the aptitude thing would include all the A pluses he gets in food preparation classes, food sciences classes, and so many other things he could get to know through math, algebra, and so on. Bill would still take a life skills selection in his classes, so will everybody else. However, when he turns sixteen, Bill’s aptitude tests and his guidance counselor will state, “You have shown strengths in these subjects, and weaknesses in these others.” The counselor and Bill will work together to decide what Bill will do for his career path. Either of these students could be your son or daughter, in a far distant generation somewhere. What’s the catch? No standardized test scores.


Time for a New Keyboard?: My Quest to Win the Heart of a Bluetooth Keyboard That Doesn’t Stick.

Dear readers,

First and foremost, I would like to address some housekeeping. Thank you so very much for being so wonderful and liking the posts you like, following my blog, and being all around respectable about it. I think disabling comments might have done the trick as far as keeping trolls out. We will continu disabling comments on my blog so that we can write in peace.

Now, I’d like to tell you guys a dirty little secret. It’s not sexy, but this is a secret I haven’t told many people. My Logitech k480’s been acting strange lately, and I wonder if it’s time to put a new keyboard in its place. What do you guys think? We’re researching a bunch of different ones, and I have a Zagg portable folding one for going out, but yeah, I loved this k480 for a long time. I wonder if I need a divorce or is it over for us, me and Logitech? We will only see.

With the keyboards we’re looking for, we want a multidevice bluetooth thingamajig that will actually work, charge and recharge, do clickity clicks to different devices at the touch of a button. So which ones should I consider? Please, guys, comment on Twitter or FB if you have either. IF you have neither, well, email me at


I’ll Pass On the Theocratic rules

Dear readers,

Yes, before I shoot off Handmaid’s Tale references and rules, I’m going to be real. I had a serious conversation with some folks on social media, and I think we all forgot something relevant to the discussion of theocratic rule in the United States. This … actually … happened. Remember the Warren Jeffs crew? They’re all gone, arrested for committing atrocities against young girls like Elissa Wall and Rebecca Musser and so many others. If you want to read some of their stories, go check out your libraries and Kindle if you dare. Elissa’s story Stolen Innocence is a bit out of date, but well worth a read. Elissa is not the only one who was made to feel inferior because of a theocratic ruler. So many other girls and women have been denied basic human choice, all because of religion. Rebecca Musser’s book, The Witness Wore Red, tells that story too. Musser wrote in this book about various atrocities committed by the men in charge, from Rulon Jeffs to Warren Jeffs and beyond. This woman is the witness and the former nineteenth wife of Rulon Jeffs who put all those leaders in jail, and for what it’s worth, they did indeed commit Gilead-like atrocities against these defenseless girls. How is the Handmaid’s Tale irrelevant fiction? It’s not irrelevant fiction so much as it is a warning. The Hunger Games series might be considered a thought provoking question of a book series, but it is what I’d call irrelevant fiction because there is really no basis for the distopian world of Panam.

As for book number two in the handmaid’s series, the Testaments, it’s a great story, and I’m not gonna lie, a super awesome book, but there’s something in there that jumps out at me a lot. Imagine you’re a child stolen from your mother on the way to a better life. You end up in the care of a white family, and in this example, you’re a black or brown child. So think about it. The Latino immigrants who are being detained are also being parceled out to Bethany Christian Services, what I call the real Gilead Adoption Agency in the United States. Yes, you can bet that these kids want to be with their real moms and dads, but they’re being brainwashed.

A theocracy in the U.S. has indeed been shuttered for good, and for the reasons I’m about to specify however. When the Bible or Qur’an or Torah is used to hurt someone or a whole group of people, the religion becomes invalid and a danger to itself and others, much like when a person starts cutting themselves with a knife and writing funny lettering on themselves and their dog. So why did the FLDS fall? Well, here’s why.

1. The FLDS split from the Mormon church with guys like the Barlows and Jessops in charge, and this is all archived and documented in all the books I’ve read on the subject. John Y. Barlow was one of the founding guys in the church. Next, you had Leroy Johnston, or Uncle Roy, who was prophet for a long long long time, but the person you gotta watch out for in this line of rule was Rulon Jeffs. Rulon was every bit as atrocious as the next guy in line, but he was too old for more than half his wives, and Musser’s writing confirms that she wanted love, not forceful procreative unity with a man who she would have to share. Polygamy is not for everybody, and there should be strict limits on it. But the church fell because Rulon and later his son Warren did some pretty nasty things to young women and girls, all documented, and there was a bunch of sexual abuse of young brides and brides-to-be at the hands of family or relatives. Carolyn Jessop’s kids might have been victims of sex abuse by other kids in the Jessop family, as documented in her second book, Triumph. She mentioned Danny Jessop, who later married Louisa Bradshaw and was living in the now defunct YFZ Ranch, of course. When his name came up, some of Carolyn’s kids had to have mentioned that Danny hurt them in some way. There were other Jessops who played a role in hurting Carolyn and her children, and all this is documented in her book. Check it out. It’s waiting for you to crack it open.

2. The church threw out too many young men so that the old perverts could have access to as many wives as possible. You had sisters sharing a husband, mothers and daughters sharing men, it was twisted and atrocious and could have lent itself to more biological defects. You’ve got the Barlows and Jessops and their bloodlines responsible for fumarase deficiency because of this weird and twisted way of allowing nieces and daughters and sisters that share the same husband. Ugh. Rulon had sisters in his harem, God if I ever thought that was possible, I’d literally faint.

3. God and the belief in Him was used to steal money from the working people. You had guys like Rebecca Musser’s dad, Douglas or Donald Wall, whoever he was, who worked in earnest with a lot of effort on geological stuff, had companies and all kinds of money he could have spent on his girls and kids and stuff, and the FLDS stole all his money. They expected him to let them have all the money, give credit to them, and always praise them. Women were also taught not to ever have credit for themselves, just say, “Oh, it’s just my priesthood head.” Oh really, it was pretty financially telling which families were there and which ones needed more. Even though this wasn’t a Jim Jones situation, this church really needed to change its policy on this and other things.

4. The belief in an almighty God and the celestial kingdom was used to allow many things we should have considered to be child abuse. Even Carolyn Jessop’s book said clearly, and this would be her first one, titled Escape, but she talked a bit about the women with dark sunglasses hiding mottled bruises and the frequency of child and wife/spousal abuse among her people. This church had it coming before the fall of Warren and the purge of so many followers out of its ranks.

So what happened? What I gather on the Internet is that Rulon Jeffs’ old house is now a battered wife shelter, and Warren’s and Rulon’s assets are going to the girls. Good, I say. Same thing will happen if someone tries to bully the entire government into believing in a God that can’t possibly administer justice fairly according to a book that hurts more than helps. Theocracy can still be felt and seen in Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia is a seat of Islam, but their theocratic rules allow men to control women, much the same way as Colorado City and Hildale did. What I am seeing is a pattern of distrust in the U.S. for governing officials who want to press religion on others, which is a good thing because in Hildale, Utah, a female was elected mayor, Dannia Jessop of all people, and she was amazing. Well, I think she still is serving her time there, but she certainly had the police force debadged and demoted, and replaced with real police. That’s a big step in the right direction. With all the big compounds turned into battered women’s shelters, I’m hoping that the missing women in Musser’s story come out of hiding. The YFZ Ranch, the site of a 2008 raid, is thank God defunct. It would not, however, make a good Defunctland video spot, as this is much more serious than just a defunct company.

So how is the U.S. any thing like Gilead? In the handmaid’s Tale, we learn that OfFred’s daughter is adopted by a Gilead family, no different than what Bethany Christian Services is doing to these poor Mexican children, who are raised to believe that family is important. Mexican families are close, so are Cubans, Costa Ricans, any kind of Latin American family is awesome. I’ve seen it all occur in my own very backyard. So why rip these families apart? Trump is not supposed to do this, and I hope Biden will at least fix this problem, and get the United States back in a united state of freedom and back on track. Of course, we will need to make sure that theocratic rules like we saw in Utah and Arizona don’t ever happen again.

For Further Reading:

If you want to read a book about the lost boys, there are two points of entry here. Lost Boy by Brent W. Jeffs is an amazing read. Plus you can also read Destroying Their God by Wallace Jeffs, Warren’s brother. Both are available as Kindle e-books and audio books may be coming as I speak.

Escape and Triumph both by Carolyn Jessop are amazing reads, so read both.

Breaking Free by Rachel Jeffs is a more recent book, but do check it out for yourself. It popped up in my Kindle recommendations.

Church of Lies by Flora Jessop is amazing, and tells the story of one woman who had to fall to rock bottom to get to where she is now. I love how Flora tells her story.

Stolen Innocence and The Witness Wore Red, written by Elissa Wall and her sister, Rebecca Musser respectively, both books are amazing, but Musser’s is more up to date, and she has written amazing testimony of her work. Thank you all for reading, and to find these books, I’d recommend using Kindle or Audible, as not all are available on Bard.


America ranked among worst countries to raise a family: study

Dear readers,

This is why I don’t like the ideological crap the country has pulled. Look at this article.

The United States has been named the second-worst wealthy nation to raise a family in 2020, according to new research by travel site Asher & Lyric.
— Read on

Don’t Call Me Bitch

Dear readers,

For those of you who are male, you might want to read this, unless you’re the type who is misogynistic, so if you are the gatekeeper of misogynistic thinking, skip this immediately and think a while before reading this. Either way, you will read this blog post and it will enlighten you to why I, and many other women in government, leadership, and life itself, are very very sick and tired of being called a “bitch” or a “fucking bitch” to our faces. I’ve been called worse: “loonbag”, “moron”, and other HIPAA based attacks. All over the stupid family guardianship that was put in place in 2004. This guardianship could have ended my career in all things, but instead, I’m a champion for women’s rights and disabled people’s self determination rights. This must be a federally recognized thing, so let’s delve into the meaning of this vulgarity.

Fucking bitch. First, the fucking part. What is this word? The word “fuck” may be used to strike someone, as it is derived from the German word “to strike”, but when paired with the wrong word, could mean a sex act with a female dog. This leads to the word “bitch”, which could of course, in show dog terms, is a female dog. Yes, bitches are female dogs, got it? They are not, under any circumstances female human beings, and those female human beings are a hell of a lot more than the dogs you are referring to us as. Female dogs somehow communicate with each other, sure, but they don’t invent things, didn’t build the space shuttle, and sure don’t drive cars or join the military except as trained by humans. Female dogs can’t lead this country, but female humans? Yes. So why isn’t the female experience for us women any better than that of a dog? This is so dehumanizing to talk about, but it must be discussed.

While the fucking bitch comment that Ted Yoho made to Alexandria Ocasio Cortes was indeed vulgar and stupid. I have been called worse. I’ve been dehumanized for having been in the mental health system, and I have a message for the gatekeeping idiots who think I’m the village idiot: shut up and get your heads right. Your HIPAA based attacks are not warranted, and they are illegal. IF you attack me on this blog, on this page, or on the other platforms I’m on, you will be warned. I can’t let the HIPAA based attacks go on, and you do this stuff behind my back. You attack me on my partner’s Twitter account, he sees the attacks and doesn’t say a word. It hurts. It really hurts because men like the ones who attack me using illegally obtained HIPAA based information should not be supported or given careers. These men are familiar faces you know in the blind community, and in response to AOC’s comments, which went live on NBC Nightly News, I’m gonna say this. Keep your mouths shut and zip those lips closed because your comments incite violence against women and myself included. I won’t name the people who talk about me on platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and so on, but I blocked a familiar name on Facebook after eleven long years of being used and abused by this misogynist. I won’t talk to him again, nor anyone else who indulges themselves in misogyny. If you think that calling me a “fucking bitch” is cool, what the hell do you think you’re doing! AOC won’t have this, and neither will I.


Remote Learning Versus In Person Learning: My Experiences

Dear readers,

I’m not surprised that there are parents who don’t want to send their student children to school, in person learning being that which the administration wants and believes in all the more even during a deadly pandemic.

The thing is that online learning could be fixed to indoctrinate rather than educate young girls in Conservative communities, and we must stop that at all costs. For one, some girls in the ultraconservative communities like the ones in Utah and some Christian families might opt for a religious brainwashing instead of educating girls. What is the deal? I have had good experiences with both online and in person learning, but I never did online learning until college days.

I started out in kinder through fourth grade in public elementary schools, but in fifth grade, my parents insisted I have a Catholic education. Some of you may know that the Catholic school had no band, no chorus program that sang anything other than religious music, and no string orchestra, and I think the parents wanted to not teach me the violin. Look at how much private religious education actually costs. It costs a lot more than the violin lessons, and it cost more than the piano lesson that eventually I had to give up. My parents could have had me in an orchestra, a meaningful job playing piano at a bar whether they liked it or not, but they chose to spend all that money on religious education which does not do much good for females with disabilities. What they didn’t know was that girls and boys both had to learn about sexuality in a Catholic perspective from a young age. Well, thank God the high school was in Melbourne, too far for transport, so I went to Titusville High School, where there was a band, orchestra, and choir. Thank God the choir and band directors just didn’t get the religious education point, but they never indoctrinated anyone. My band director, of all the people I might have not gotten along with, was not a religious person to the point of imposing things like girl boy separation. He did tell us about songs and their meanings, half of which were nonreligious and had no Catholic perspective. Religions with conservative viewpoints on girls’ choice and body autonomy really should take this into consideration, but online learning could allow the parent to cocoon the student in question and not allow her to see friends, do things, or have any opportunities to learn and grow as a person. For me those opportunities did not come till I was dropped out of college, and twice I had to drop out because of Rehab and accommodations. I will never be able to obtain a Bachelor’s degree, but moreover, I had to catch up because of the conservative patriarchal bullshit I was exposed to in the home. Mom expected a perfect daughter, someone who would cook and clean and take care of the home, unpaid of course. IF I were to go back, I’d have to charge an outrageous rate anyway by now because the parents needed to appreciate what I could do, but they never did. My dad wanted a perfect virgin of a daughter, but sorry, that didn’t happen because in high school, a guardianship was planted in the legal books against me and I couldn’t marry or date without a guardian’s permission, which I balked at. I left in 2010 because of the way I was being treated, and I won’t allow this to happen again, not even to my own potential daughters. While I was at home, I still had online college, and I took a survey and did chats online with Blackboard. The thing to remember is that online learning should be accessible too, so a blind student might not be able to participate with other kids online, so do your research.

Accessibility and viability of the information your child is being taught is very very important. We don’t live in Gilead, wee live in the United States, for those reading who are actually in the United States. But remember, don’t indoctrinate your kids with a book of Genesis reading unless you want them cowering in the corner saying things like, “What the hell is all this?” I did study Genesis, and believe you me, there’s a lot of flaws in it. For one, the thing about women fighting over who gets more kids. Rachel and Leah were the most dynamic duo of sisters, but they were also sister wives, and they had maidservants, handmaids, they gave to their husband to sleep with. This could be the reason why people may groom girls to be handmaids as young as fourteen, or perhaps they would be arranged in marriage, as was biblical custom. Genesis also hurts gays and lesbians, so I won’t go into what it says and why. This is part of the reason I’m not into and all for religious education until a child is old enough to make his or her or their own decisions about what they want in life, where they want to go, and what kinds of things they want to experience such as dating, prom, and the chance to be married to someone they care about. We also have to make sure we speak up and demand change from the government level so that girls are protected from this type of brainwashing, and online learning may fail some people, but it may not others.

As a person who was educated both in private and public schools, I’d prefer that the child either conservative or not be in a public school. They need to learn facts, not myths, but study the myths as they are, mythical things that are not true. For example, don’t teach that God made everything in seven twenty-four- hour rotations of the Earth, which is damn near impossible, but teach evolution and the Big Bang theory, and teach about the way things were thousands and millions of years ago. My science teacher, Patricia Hutniek, was critical but still taught us to think about all the stuff and theories of the past, and we learned about tectonics and plate division in the earth and all kinds of stuff that a true conservative would balk at. Hutniek taught us to think critically about things like cloning and surrogacy for those who can’t carry, but what she failed to do was explain the compensation for those who carry someone’s kids and how it helps those who want a child. Surrogacy is not my idea of having a kid, but paying a surrogate mother is just way too much. I saw an article in the Washington Post or something of that nature about a woman who carried her daughter’s baby because her daughter could honest to God not carry any babies at all. Now the baby is probably born healthy and the daughter will be able to mother that baby, but with the peace of mind that came with the baby’s grandma carrying her.

I also learned a lot of evolutionary biology in college and stuff, but trust me, I’m not all for online science labs, plus a blind person would be excluded wholly for being blind, and the microscope assignments would be completely invalid, not able to be used for a blind student. I had to be exempt from all that stuff, and trust me, it made me a bit less than the rest of the class. While the rest of them got to stare at bacteria all day, if I may exaggerate, I was not able to do so.

So what’s my verdict? While I do believe online learning is a good supplement, it cannot take over in person learning. Also, don’t forget music. Students must be taught music, as I said in the last post. Please note that music is important for all people, and it helps with brain development and test performance, so give them the music. LEt the people sing, as I said in the last piece I wrote.


The weirdest dreams I’ve had lately, missing something special.

Dear readers,

I woke up twice during the night, slept as much as I possibly could, but there was one weird dream I could not shake off. It had something to do with rehearsals of some Philharmonic orchestra in one of the old concert halls I used to be a frequent visitor to, the Orlando concert arena of all places. I heard what could have been something a bit more original, but turned out to be something quite familiar. As it turned out, might have been the Jurassic Park theme, why? Crazy as it sounds, I played the piano parts to this theme a while ago in high school, alongside a fellow musician who played on the harp parts, but we both used Korg keyboards to make the sounds come alive. So what was this about? I’m not good at interpreting things like this, but it just doesn’t add up. None of the dreams I’ve had lately add up, but still.

What I do miss about the time before the Pandemic struck is the time when you could sing or perform in a group. Now you can’t because health officials deemed it a big risk. But what stupidity these health officials have, for music brings joy to people, and people need music in their lives to heal. I don’t know when my choirs will practice again, but orchestras? Why I hope they will become more important, even though we have at least 3.8 million people infected with Covid 19, but taking away the joy of music is stupid. Now those who need it will fall by the wayside. I can’t imagine my life stripped of music, even writing, because music is important. Music saved what little sanity I could muster four years ago, maybe even three, because all the bad guys wanted me to have nothing at all. And then a pandemic took that away from us, honestly, I don’t know for how long. Health officials should never have deemed choir singing a risk because choirs and singing should be a healing thing, not something that can get you sick. But let me say this for a moment: I’m not for Trump and his mask off policies and his magical thinking. What I am for is bringing people together to get rid of the pandemic in thee best way we can, but not taking away music in a group. Schools opening is a bad idea, and students won’t learn unless music is taught to them. Now, we might have underdeveloped brains because music isn’t there, can’t be taught, or can’t be used as a tool for education all because “it can get you sick.” Ridiculous as it sounds, I find this line of thinking very counter to what studies have shown about music and music education. I was lucky that music was taught for me, and music is an inclusive, or is supposed to be inclusive, art. As a blind person, I connect with musicians more than ordinary people, and taking that away over some deadly health risk is ridiculous because what will happen when this pandemic goes away and the music does too? We need to be assured that we can sing in choirs, in a group, etc. when this Corona virus pandemic goes away. We need a vaccine, something that will immunize us against the virus so we don’t have to wear masks or anything like that. I don’t want to get sick, and I know a bunch of you don’t either. But taking away a treasured gem like music is not the way to go about healing the nation. We could sing solo like in our own bedrooms and bunkers, but that is not the same as singing harmoniously in a group. People need to stop reverting to the dark ages where European music had no polyphonic sound, where it was simply solo music, where there weren’t many musical scores written out. Children aren’t going to like not having music in schools, sickness or not. It is something that, like I said saved my life. If it weren’t for music, I might have told my parents to stop talking to me or perhaps I might have ended my whole life because of how they treated me. Music was a refuge, a shelter from all that. And to dream of a time when a music rehearsal can happen, this is what I don’t get. I dreamt of myself walking through the concert hall, hearing the musicians practicing, and a voice sounded as the Philharmonic orchestra played. Will music be used in movies and documentaries? Will it ever come back? I would hope to God it does, and that choirs are not disbanded or not allowed to practice ever again. Trust me, government is not trustworthy in my humble opinion. They took music education out of schools, replaced it with standardized test scores, and now they want you to believe that music can make you sick. Well, I don’t believe it, and if anyone gets Covid 19 as a result of a choir practice, and some people did, it’s because they weren’t wearing masks that allowed them to sing good. Yes, you can sing with masks on, but still, I don’t know. DWC canceled its fall season, which I’m very upset at that, and they probably won’t have a spring season if the Covid crisis doesn’t get under control, but Trump and his magical thinking should disappear, and not to say the corona virus won’t, but it won’t if he keeps it up.

After I woke up from this dream, I thought a while about what could happen if music was not allowed to be played or practiced in places like this. We’d end up chanting instead, back to the Dark Ages and people would place blame on the Goddess or something. If a Pandemic sweeps the globe, I get it, people want to place blame on something. But the blame is not on a deity or human beings. Science says that viruses mutate, have sex, and sweep the globe for a while. Florida has the worst Covid numbers of any state, and that’s why I’m also not going to my grandmother’s memorial service. My cousin messaged me about this, but I said, no. I’m not putting myself at risk for any reason, whether by covid or a Guardianship trap. Forget it, I’m not trying to let my cousin down, but music should be sung at the memorial, and singing in a group will have to happen, but I don’t want to sing in Florida. I don’t want to sing in a group in a state that let me down, that turned its back on me, that claims I need protection, all that and more. Yes, I was a frequent concertgoer in my teens, in Florida of course, but that’s no more. I left it all behind, and I have a different battle to fight. Students need to learn to sing in a group, whether the risk is there or not. Schools cannot deny students brain development, whether the risk is there or not. Students should be learning to play instruments whether the risk is there or not. Music will shelter students from even the worst of this pandemic. It has already proven a challenge for blind guide dog users, blind cane users, etc. I can’t see the floor markers on stores, so forget the social distancing. Masks are now required on all indoor public spaces. Are we nuts? Yes, I get the covid 19 crisis needs to be put under control, but I’m sick and tired of people getting sick and tired. So here’s a hint when dealing with this, and other issues: let the people sing.


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