Letter to the Boy Bands of Yesteryear: Reflections on WHo I Was and Who I Am Now

Dear Readers,

THis is a post explicitly for the Backstreet Boys and Nsync, among others. I have a special message I’d like to tell the young men I’ve come to know and love, how their music has impacted me, and what kind of things I’m up to now.

For one, I’d like to thank the boys of N. Sync for giving me this opportunity seventeen years ago. I met the boys of N. Sync on November 1, 2000. I could just be myself, never let go of my life, and I enjoyed the freedom of movement that I got from that moment. I was in a skybox seat in Orlando when the T.D. Waterhouse company had ownership of the Orlando Arena, where concerts and venue performances like basketball games are held. I seriously hate stadium seating, and going through the great big crowds is a challenge. I’d rather be up there meeting the guys, and I so did. N. Sync was one of the best groups since the Beatles, but we all know what happened and they split. Here’s a message to each one of these guys:

To Justin Timberlake, watch your lyrics. You have a great performance presence and you have great stage etiquette, but your lyrics were cited as inappropriate. Try to do something appropriate so governments will honor you for your work, as Tennessee almost did. That’s your homegrown stomping grounds, right? Also, about the meeting seventeen years ago, I sometimes often wonder when it will come to pass that you’ll look at your wife’s hair. Straight or curly? If not curly, then you don’t get to see the experiments in your kids’ hair. I sometimes wondered what that little sequence of DNA would have done had I been the one with the honors to share mine with you. AS I am a curly haired person, and as you said, my hair’s being the same as yours, I can imagine the hair stylists getting crazy about the kids’ hair. It makes me laugh, even when pathological lies about me are piling up. THat is a light in the window, and I sometimes go back to it when I’m lost in the dark places.

Chris Kirkpatrick, you are the coolest guy on Earth. I don’t remember what you said to me or what have you. Fu Man Skito might have been a flop but you aren’t. Keep rocking, Chris.

Joey Fatone, you really rock. Seeing you in the Big Fat Greek Wedding was fun, and more than that, you truly bring out your voice when announcing Family Feud. Nice job, Joey.

Lance, I didn’t even know you were gay. Sorry we didn’t shake hands, I have no hard feelings about you being a bit shy. I’m proud of you coming out and doing the things you do every day.

Now, to the Backstreet Boys, let me start with the oldest boys Howie D. and Bryan. Kevin I’m sure is doing his own thing, but he left the band a while ago. Kevin, you truly inspire everyone you meet.

But Howie D., thank you for following me on Twitter. Howie, you have a sweet and awesome temperament and oh, did I tell you, I’m sorry that you lost your sister all those years ago. I remember another sister singing about it. I can’t remember her name, was it Paula? Caroline was your sister that died, but I still think she’s been one of your big reasons you contribute to Lupus foundation, all that. Hope you’re still in that stuff.

Bryan, I’m so happy that you had those little doggies all those years ago. Tike and Liddy were your babies, and you and your wife shared many a cute memory with those pups. If they’ve crossed the Rainbow Bridge, I’m sorry if bringing them up is a bad thing. But we must remember our pets from that time period, right? At least you rescued the dogs with the help of the police department, and one more thing, Bryan, I support the police. Only one thing, they need to be nice to black people, as I’m practically marrying a black man.

A.J., I hope you’ve stayed sober for as long as I’ve known you’d been fighting depression and alcoholism. It is hard, but I can relate to you immensely. A.j., you’ve also never realized that I’d end up diagnosed with bipolar, which I permanently question on the basis of stupidity of the diagnostic process and the way it goes, I was also diagnosed with border line personality disorder. My parents think it justifiable to have a fraudulent guardianship that prevents me from getting married and they want Trenton my partner to respect their restrictions. As if. We won’t. A.J., do you get those feelings sometimes like you don’t belong? I do. I totally get those feelings, and I adore the way you just openly admit to everything. Take care and keep the faith, just turn to God for your problems and remember that staying sober is the best thing yet.

And finally, Nick, I met your sister Leslie in the times she was alive. I’m sorry to hear of her passing all those years ago, and now your father. Nick, I wish with all my heart that I had been informed earlier somehow that your father had passed away. I hope Aaron gets his butt in gear and does more music with Flo Rida as well as other rappers and artists and keeps the faith as well. Stay sober, as I told A.J., and you are a sweet guy I never got to meet. Nick, I can’t go back to Florida and see the house you bought in the Keys, but as a wealthy man, I wish you’d be a benefactor for me, donate some of your piles of dollars to my wedding. Nick, I was a huge fan of you for a long time, and as I’ll say later in this posting, you were probably my parents’ inspiration to commit fraud against me.

To all the men, I have been alive and well for seventeen more years, I’m thirty years old now and childless. I have a wonderful partner, but I wish we could have children and a normal family. We’ll probably be prevented from doing this because of prenatal care and the parents could tell me to abort. I don’t believe in abortion as a method of punishment or control or birth control, and I’m not for abortions of children with disabilities or children of young parents either. I believe that teen pregnancy is a big issue, more welcome in Africa with married children than in America. However, I believe that teenagers should still get a comprehensive sexual education, period. Do you guys believe this? I didn’t get the comprehensive one, only the crap about marriage and marriage only for sex, and when my parents took that right from me, I bolted. I ran from Florida after college, which I dropped out of because there was no jobs available for blind social workers and I had no support from my family. My parents said I had no people or talent for social work skills, and a doctor even went so far as saying it was a bad choice because of instability and bipolar disorder. This I question, and as I wrote in A.J.’s message, mental health sucks. I went to LaAmistad in Orlando, discovered many things about myself that my parents don’t want to admit to, and decided that this treatment stuff wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right about the counselors and treatment I was getting. It was more brainwashing to respect the frauds my parents still are than helping me with issues. Brainwashing is bad, and I’m not going to brainwash my kids into believing bad things about black and blind men and women. My parents pulled a big stunt with me and Orien Henry, a young man I went to school with, and this stunt involved my dad mocking my desires to just spend time with Orien and I didn’t get that. Orien eventually denied me any contact of any kind for a long while, but Orien doesn’t realize I got kicked out of a church I was supposed to be baptized in, all because of blindness issues and transportation. I’m not going to be baptized in a church and Bryan I’m sure can relate to the feeling of being in church. Bryan, I must say you really should give me a few churches to attend in Colorado.

Speaking of which, my story. I ran to Colorado Center for the Blind, trying to gain independence from my family only to relocate to Denver and find a place on my own. Had I not done this, I would have had my ashes stored in a locker. I want to point you guys to a woman called Karen Federiki, a nurse in Florida who fled to another state because of fraudulent guardianship. Guardianship is a problem in Florida, and Nick, your sister probably overdosed because it was too much for her. Rest in peace, Leslie Carter. Also, Nick, I’m sorry about your dad. Did I say this? I won’t tell you too many times, I promise. But here’s the deal: I fled Florida legally and now I’m a resident of Colorado, guardianship or not. Guardianship or not, Trenton and I will be getting a spiritual marriage and we will need to do this to avoid penalties with social security. You boys are wealthy, don’t have to worry about social security unless you’re the Baha Men. Even still, those guys lost their homes. Ugh.

Anyway, I wish one of you could help with the wedding, as Trenton and I are having unforeseen issues with the guests not coming. We want a wedding, and I want to be able to afford a wedding dress, to get married away from the U.S. so the wedding can be secretive and private. I would do it in Lanachshire Scottland, a county that holds history thousands of years old. In the 1290s A.D., a young bride and her groom married there. Did any of you readers watch Braveheart? Mel Gibson did a beautiful portrayal of William Wallace, a hero for Scottish folks, and I also have some of that ancestry, Scottish ancestry that is. The saddest part was when William died, of course, but Isabel, his daughter in law, ended up with his child. She says that a child not of his lines was in her womb, and I’m sure she bore the child. Lanochshire County Scottland holds rich keys to freedom for me, and Trenton and I will marry in the same spot where William and Maurum got married. The difference being thousands or hundreds of years later, no cruel king and no Prima Nocte. We will do it in peace, something we could never do in the United States. We could never invite the family or guests because nobody’s RSVPing to our invites, and they won’t show. I wanted a hundred guests, but even a buddy of mine has more than me. Or he had more than I will.

Anyway, here I am just hanging around, and reflecting back on my life. It’s been a roller coaster. I want to spend it with Trenton, since none of you guys even had the courage to pose that question to me. Thank you all for your talents, but please keep this in mind, my dreams are crushed. I want to be a singer, maybe a folk singer. I have no other skill that is marketable, forget call center work. What else!


Beth Taurasi

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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