Reenabling comments with conditions

Dear readers,

As much of this blog from a period of time has had zero in the way of engagement, I reenabled comments, but I have conditions on doing so. One, no trolling. Two, no pro guardianship or anti blind ableist comments allowed. Three, anything sexual other than that posed by my partner is not allowed. Not unless you wanna play around, and you can get here by airplane.

I’d like to say I really can’t delete my facebook page because of the presence I have on a podcast space on Twitter. It’s complicated, but I’d like to point to one problem. People have called me entitled and bratty for all the wrong reasons. You guys really need to look in the mirror and see where you went wrong. I’m talking to the thousands of blind folks on Facebook who flat out troll and sit there and blast me for being entitled, incapable, bratty, etc. This will stop, and in comments here, I won’t accept it. So here are the rules for writing comments in the blog and these are not only the rules, but they are mandatory.

  1. absolutely no person shall write ableist commentary on here. You can’t write things about someone who is disabled and that offends the disabled community.
  2. No trolling comments are allowed.
  3. Anyone who reportedly says that I should be under someone else’s ownership, which is what guardianship is, will be blacklisted.
  4. Anyone who says I’m incapable and can’t do things will also be blacklisted.
  5. Any prior blacklisting folks will not be unblacklisted.
  6. No person shall write racist comments or those supporting one religion over others, including but not limited to Christianity.
  7. No person shall quote scripture to perform an act of spiritual abuse on my blog. Such comments, and likewise the commentator, will be blacklisted.
  8. No person shall threaten someone else in the comments, and the comments will only be here to engage in a dialogue about the subject matter in which the blog post is written about. Whatever.

IF anyone has any questions or comments, please feel free to write them here, but follow the rules. I’m going to follow these rules to the tee because my safety and the safety of my fans is the number one priority.

Beth

Why I Will be Leaving Facebook

Dear readers,

Many of you have subscribed to my blog on Facebook, and for this I thank you all. I’d like to talk about what’s going on in my world as of late.

One, Clayton Jacobs deleted his Facebook page because nobody cared one way or another about his requests for help, and all requests for help went unanswered. Recently, an ID went missing of his, and he needed it, but the trouble is that Arizona will take its sweet old time mailing him an ID. Not good. Also, we’re running into problems with people calling me out as a poor pity blind bitch, and that has to stop right now. First off, when I ask for money, I expect no criminal mischief record on my papers. A woman in my chorus I tried to ask about this with told me not to ask for money, suggested my boyfriend was a troll, using me to solve his problems, blah blah blah. Can I get a Hell no to the Denver Women’s Chorus for being elitist and hogging the wealth that I as a severely impoverished person have to deal with every single day and every hour? What’s it like to live on SSI and have to deal with wait lists, and we’re not dealing with wait lists for housing.

There’s one reason I’m deleting my Facebook and that’s three letters: N, F, B. Clayton is the only reason I would have kept it but he’s with me now, and I’m sick of all the unsupportive dramatic issues with family, and I’m also changing bank accounts because I do not want my Dad on my bank account, no representative payee for me. Anyone who suggests that should take their attitude and check it at the door. I expect expectations, sure, but sometimes you’re just too uppity, if you are a blind person with a family who loves and supports you. Guess what? My family is semi white supremacist, and I’ve got evidence of such.

So here’s the thing about me and Facebook. The big problem with Facebook is the toxicity and sensitivity of the communities at large, and people are going to expect Clay’s wedding pics to come up, but no, they won’t. My beloved Clayton will have all his share of love and devotion, trust me, I’m loyal to Clayton, and the people who are not loyal need to understand why we are deleting our Facebook pages. Here’s my side of why I’m deleting mine.

  1. Jason Owens was a monstrosity and attacked some of my friends, if not most of those believed to be weak and further permanently disabled. Jason might have met me on Skype, but he’s one damn person I don’t want to be around.
  2. Death threats because of this blog, Facebook posts, and other things. I had a friend for eleven years orchestrate a death threat via some Karen from Avilar, and she threatened me with pain, death, all that. I do not want people such as her chasing me down.
  3. I’m deleting Facebook because why bother posting anything if people are going to criminalize asking for money, reaching out for help, fundraising for a wedding or honeymoon, and many other things? Why Why bother? If you read this blog, I had many wonderful opportunities and ideas, but trust me, it’s going to be harder without Facebook, but it will be easier as time goes.
  4. There are people who have accused me of asking for pity pittances. Well, as punishment, I’d like to charge an exorbitant fee for any obvious abuses, i.e. “Stop being the poor pitiful blind person.” That is not my intent, and I’m done with this. Poor pity blind people are those who are elitist, white supremacist, and above all, dependent on family for support and so on. Humans being social creatures isn’t enough of a reason to keep Facebook. Blind community members are toxic, very very toxic and stupid. Most of them are, and I’ve had my share blocked. Let’s look at some.
  5. Two words about me were spoken by a guy in Grand Junction, no, three words. “You are incompetent.” “You are incapable.” This bastard probably committed domestic violence on his ex, the one he had the kids with, all that and I should have seen the red flags altogether. Clayton owns up to his wrongs and does the sentences prescribed, but he does not abuse me. I’m too valuable a person for him to throw aside, and he wouldn’t do that. Not even if I was a piece of trash, and I mean white trash.
  6. Here’s a reason I will delete Facebook summed up in a few sentences, but here’s a simple one. Too many people support guardianship, too many blind people support little old Beth Taurasi being under guardianship, and Clayton knows this. You all are about two steps away from seeing an empty slot where I once stood on Facebook.
  7. Another reason I want to delete Facebook? The criminalization of my asking for help, companionship, and company. I’m gonna call out a few different folks, and please note, it has nothing to do whatsoever with being any member of a minority protected class. Even minorities in protected groups i.e. LGBTQIA+ and Jewish folks and others are putting the blind people at the very very bottom of the barrel because we’re blind. Karen, a woman in the Denver Women’s Chorus, is not someone I would recommend asking for any favors, even those that are nonmonetary. I can’t even ask a favor of anyone in that whole group. Christine, while a loving grandmother, has called me out for being “entitled.” If she wants to read this blog, fine with me. But she needs to understand that blind people are at the super bottom of the pot as far as consideration for jobs, housing, and marriage and social things. People such as this girl called Chantal spread things about me that should have been between me and her.
  8. People think I am unstable, crazy, and other stigmatizing words having to do with mental illness. Well, to those who want to keep saying I’m crazy, stop it. Try going to a mental health institute or mental health treatment center, try going to a homeless shelter, try all of these things and you’ll see what I mean.
  9. There are too. many posts dealing with God and Jesus, religious bullshit that doesn’t apply to me anymore. I’d be damned if anyone even tells me being with Clayton is a sin. Guess what? Your calling me out as a whorish slut is a grave violation of my personal boundaries. So there you have it.
  10. Two words: Joey Hagemeier. HE could follow you around anywhere, and I have nothing against Korean adoption, blind people, etc. But I do have something against the three week dating period Joey and I had. He is bad news, doesn’t get it, and won’t be allowed back on a new FB page.

IF anyone has any objections to me leaving FB, please email me at denverqueen@gmx.com and do the right thing. Tell me about something that doesn’t have any connotations about winning or losing. Haters, you all will burn in Hell for how you treat Clayton and I. You haters will all have to pay a price for telling me I can’t reach out for help. Pay the piper or the piper pays nobody. Do you remember the story of the Pied Piper in Hamlin? Remember the rats? IF you want someone to clean up the rats and infestations of any kind of rodent, insect, or bird from your people’s property, you fucking pay the piper. I mean it, three words: Pay, The, Piper. IF you do not pay the piper, you will lose things most dear to you. I don’t care if you lose kids, dogs, your favorite book. Pay the piper.

Beth

Tribute to Ray Khan

Author’s Note: The following contains some references to drugs and rehab, mental health issues, sometimes even guardianship abuse. Reader discretion is advised. Also, this is a sort of tributary note to Raymond Khan, a young man I knew from way back in 2006, both of us were jailed, sort of, in rehab. LaAmistad should be ashamed of itself for its ableist and controlling approach to rehabilitating substance and non substance use peoples with mental illness. You put up a big fight with me about relationships, and I need to be able to forge connections, not forget them. I want to say a few words I should’ve said to Ray, and I want him to know that things are going good, but without further adieu, here it is.

Dear Ray,

Things have been crazy since you last saw me. I think about you sometimes, although the times I thought of you were very hard ones. When I thought of how you almost lost yourself to crystal meth, how you almost killed yourself a few times, maybe more, my heart went and stopped in the middle of everything. Ray, you really are someone I cared about in 2006, and yet a piece of you stays with me every day. I have at least a few things on my mind I wanted to straighten up with you.

First, I should have never been forced to end relationships and not forge a connection with you. I loved you, and what any nurse or doctor should know is that forging connections helps and stabilizes an individual’s treatment by a long shot. Undoing all the person’s health and well being by disconnecting them from everybody in the world doesn’t help. Ray, I loved you dearly, but I tell you, I have a partner and a good life ahead of me. The guardianship’s been discharged, and you can tell everybody that you and I could have been freed from this had Florida not fucked up and gotten me in trouble at seventeen, and nobody believed that my mother was capable of slapping me in the face. I would love to charge my mom with assault if she ever pulls shit like this again, but no, I won’t. Why? Because there’s. more stuff she did that I could tell you and you wouldn’t believe me anyway.

The guardianship was abusive, I had to stay in loveless or unromantic relationships because of the possibility of being abused at home. Orien, a young man I knew in high school and who’s grown now, will not have anything to do with me. Trust me, not that way. We’re friends again on FB, but trust me on this, my parents deserve a lawsuit and jailtime for committing probate fraud. I didn’t even know what the fuck probate was, and trust me, you would think I was nuts if I told you. Guardianship is evil, it destroys families, it tears apart lives. It did so to me, and did you hear about Britney Spears? She’s out of Conservatorship.

Ray, I hope you are there somewhere in the ashes of my existence, dancing on a cloud, or perhaps you’re alive on Earth somewhere far beyond. Canada? Maybe. But have you watched what’s going on in America lately? Please tell me you’re not cooped up in some prison cell lamenting on drugs, being on drugs, etc. I wanted you to be strong and try and be someone that you can be, the best version of yourself. I cried today thinking of the stuff I should have said to you, but it got worse. When we were in the so called catapult ceremony, the one where we pass the coin and say our goodbyes to the people leaving the treatment center, I was a wreck. You remember right? I told you I’d be the lead actress in your movies, whatever they were to be. Ray, I tell you, I felt the whole time that I was not the lead actress in my own story, not until recently. Ray, if I could only tell you that Clayton Jacobs, the man I call my boyfriend, is the best supporting actor in my story. HE gets the Oscar nod and perhaps he wins Best Supporting Actor in. my personal story. Why? Because Clayton heard your name and your story from my lips, and he understands greatly. Clayton has held me while I cried, kissed me when I was sad or happy, and has made love to me through all kinds of stuff. We’d always had each other’s backs, even through some rough stuff we both had to deal with. Ray, we’re coming up on some currents in our lives, Clayton and myself, and trust me, I am always the lead actress in my personal story now. I changed my bank account, I changed my direct deposit amounts and info on it, and my dad will soon have to close the account. I’m not going to have him sit there and say he can have his name on my account, which he will no longer do. My mother and dad think they can tell me who to be with, but because the guardianship was abusive, I had it discharged. My parents woke up only halfway. They won’t define the guardianship as abusive, wrong, and fraudulent. Probate fraud should and will always be one day against the law, but I want guardianship to be a federal goddamn crime. Why? Because it tears apart families, rips people’s lives to shreds, and for disabled women, sometimes we have to sterilize because in the minds of the government, we are less than, inferior. Ray, I’m sorry to say you weren’t the love of my life, and I didn’t exactly get the chance to give you the flower of my virginity. I don’t care. What virginity?

It started with a Dallas, Texas convention I was coerced into attending by the center in Littleton, Colorado Center for the Blind, and they required everybody to fly to Texas for this stupid conference while you had National Federation of the Blind (NFB) people sitting there praising the god of their own, Kenneth Jernigan. It was a motley crew of idolatry, sexual misconduct, and more. I lost my virginity to Deq Ahmed and Mosamil Yahya or someone like that, but we’ve had to mull over such things. Clayton would never have cared, at least, that I had to break it off with Deq Ahmed because his clan and family didn’t approve of him marrying a blind American woman. I would have argued that the clan had no right to Deq because of blindness and because such honor is antique. No, the word here is antiquated. I would suggest at a clan meeting that we move forward and modernize and recognize the right to choose one’s own mate. Period, point blank, end of story!

Ray, when I was with a man named Jason, the whole time things just didn’t work. Jason was abusive, and he was pro on the case of my guardianship, he wanted to say I needed it. What a very inglorious bastard. He liked the reactions of folks when he said, “You’ve signed your death warrant for being friends with Beth Taurasi.” I call bullshit. Death warrants are for murderers, Aileen Wuornos included, or perhaps Ted Bundy. But not me, I didn’t kill anyone, I didn’t do it, and if I did, it was an accident. I have no capacity to see where I’m aiming that stupid gun, and where I’m going to aim it is anyone’s guess. Jason had almost killed my friend Trenton’s current girlfriend, and furthermore, Jason wishes all his exes dead. Oh wait, Jennifer died. I can’t believe she did, and that bastard wants me to forgive him? I can’t forgive myself for even loving the guy. But thinking back, Jason was a big turning point into why I hate almost 80% of guys, not all guys, but I kinda don’t like a lot of them. IF a guy suggests that a woman’s place is beneath him, where she submits, etc, he isn’t for me.

When I dated Blake, things got hairy. His mom said I was “psycho” and should not date Blake. Blake lost his brother to gun violence, of course, but I’m not a fan of the woman who did it, although in some ways gun control might have stopped the murderer from ending the brother’s life, and the mother blames me? She didn’t have to blame me, she didn’t have to justify Clara Deitz dating Blake for the short time she did, and the impression was fake. All of it, fake. Clara should not have broken Blake’s heart in front of the world, and she did. Blake I wish as punishment should “take a wife of whoredom” as in the Bible, Gomer was a whore who went with Hosea, her husband, even when she was being bargained for and such. Hosea brought her back, but they had two kids together, I forget the names. But if Blake wants to try and mess my life up he can’t. Our friendship is rocky because of his mother’s prejudice against psychological diagnostics, and she doesn’t realize I have PTSD. Not quite as bad as a guy Blake knows, but not as bad as my cousin, Robert Zemcik, a veteran in the army who’s survived many many occasions I can’t go into. Zemcik’s experiences in the army should not be forgotten, and neither should those of other vets, Afghanistan and Iraq war vets included. I donated money to the wounded Warrior Project years after Blake’s breakup, but alas, I don’t know where it all went.

Trenton is my current latest ex, after Joey who was a bad boy. Joey tried to mess with me, tried to egg me on, and a troll tried to fuck with me while I was just getting started with Trenton. I was frequently accused of whoring around, told to get a proper marriage, all that. But now, Clayton is probably the only man I could say is doing it right. I can’t believe he would know me for five years, would let me into his life, would hold me the way he did, and would make love to me the way he did. Ray, if you only saw my face when I found Clay at the airport, I was overjoyed. He was sitting there waiting for me, and I ran forward to give him a big giant hug. I wanted to love him right there. We got back to his place, and lo and behold, his hips got close to mine, and his face. Oh, his beautiful face. Ray, Clayton can’t see as I don’t, but trust me on this, he is a good man. Clayton treats me like a beautiful queen, honors me the way men should honor the women in their lives, and in turn, I want to do nothing more than honor him. Like in Gladiator, I will honor Clayton, and because he’s honored me, I will do what is right. I’m behind him 100% of the time, and trust me, he is for me as well. Ray, if you only knew.

IF you only knew the way things were back in the day. I still can’t get a job, can’t do things without verification, oh so they wanna believe I’m not who I say I am? Bullshit. I am Beth, the girl you once knew, and I hope you will always remember me. I hope you will remember me, and it is because I remember you that I can’t forget. I can’t forget the time we were walking around, and we kissed somewhere outside of staff eyes. All this and other bullshit, I just wanted to kiss you again. YOu really do have a lot to offer someone, and I hope you found a beautiful pair of lips to kiss, arms that will hold you, and a pair of eyes to stare into. My eyes, god forsake me, are blind. You never understood. You never wanted these eyes. These eyes cried for you, and my heart beats every day regretfully for all the times you had to stay ten feet away. I’m done, I’m done trying to cry over this spilled milk. I love you dearly. I don’t know what to say. But Clayton is my true love, not you, because you don’t seem to get it. Ray, my pain is great, but my heart soldiered on for years knowing you were out there somewhere.

Ray, if there’s one thing I should have said to you, it was this. Clayton is the right man for this undertaking of loving me because he’s blind, has the same eye condition, and we’re on the run with all the love we have in our hearts. We love one another with such passion it isn’t funny. Ray, contact me if you dare. If you read this, you will be rewarded for your trouble. The water of time may stand between us, but for Clayton, he has ferried himself over the waters of space to me, and has offered me his heart. Ray, this truly isn’t goodbye, not forever. It is a new beginning. Perhaps you will understand if you see this blog and understand what kind of person I am.

Sincerely,

Beth Taurasi

Full Review of the Handmaid’s Tale

Dear Readers,

First of all, content warning, spoilers for the Handmaid’s Tale, all four seasons. I’m writing this as a true tribute to the show that started it all on the Hulu platform, made it possible for change, and opened many an eye to antifeminist belief. While some of us think the Handmaid’s Tale is a bit extreme, and some of us read the book, the Hulu show is worth a watch. I’d give it a five stars, so let’s get started on the meat and potato of this thing.

Elizabeth Moss plays June Osbourne, who is by this time a victim of the Sons of Jacob, one could call these nasty vile commanders the sons of religiosity extreme comparative of the Ku Klux Klan. These men believe that impregnating superior women with superior sperm cells is their mission, so what do they do? LEt’s look at the backstory and I’ll explain.

June Osbourne sees her rights deteriorate little by little, first noticeably at work, then at home. Home is where women are confined, and then she tries to buy something at a mart, only to have her card rejected. Again and again, her card is declined. Ugh. So, here’s where it begins and where it all becomes logic. A pimply faced young man is working the counter, another man calls June and her friend Moira “sluts” and “whores.” Then it becomes obvious when all the girls are fixed with an order to be “reeducated” by the aunts, Aunt Lydia among them. Anne Doud plays Aunt Lydia so well you would have thought she was a bitch, which she does act like one quite a bit. Aunt Lydia does a number of atrocities against the women, particularly Alma, because Alma is disobedient, and so she burns Alma’s hand in one scene. Oh, and disclaimer: I’m not using the women’s Handmaid identifying names such as ofFred, ofRobert, or ofTim. It would be highly disrespectful of the women themselves to use such things.

From the moment Fred strikes his will on June, lovelessly thrusting into her to the moment you see Fred literally drop dead in a ravine, then hang from a makeshift wall with Latin phrases beneath his body, the whole show is a test of one’s mental ability to withstand things. One of the hardest things to process was Season 1, especially when Emily, who went by ofGlenn and ofSteven, well, Emily also went by ofJoseph, but again, let’s use her birth name, she lost her beloved who was a Martha, and that Martha was hanged by a noose on a crane. The poor woman was hanged for being in a relationship with Emily, and I don’t know that woman’s name, but Emily got her clitoris cut off, a practice that you would think had been banned by now, but apparently, not.

Another intriguing thing about the Handmaid’s Tale is the way they celebrate birthdays. Little Angela, a baby begat by such loveless sexual intercourse, and who was taken by Naomi Putnam, this little girl can look forward to a life of no reading, no writing, like nothing else matters to her education but coloring books and knowing how to please a man. Her handmaid mother is forbidden to see her after Angela is weaned, and Warren Putnam, the commander who fathers her, obviously doesn’t get it. He ogled a few girls in this show, namely June Osbourne. The handmaid in question was Janine. Janine, who became a fugitive and was captured in Chicago, that girl had obviously been a pet to the aunts, and was deemed a slut if she didn’t say it was her fault she was raped and how she supposedly played on and led on the boys to do it by her looks. This is a long dead thing in our reality. So one would think.

One of my favorite Handmaid’s Tale seasons happens to be the last season, season 4. We start out by seeing June become a real rebel, and she totally subverts the system, and later she sees Luke and Moira carry her across the sea to Canada. Yes, did I say spoilers? Yes, I meant spoilers. One of my favorite scenes in Season 4 was the last few in the last episode, and it is obvious why. Fred Waterford and his narcissistic Christian wife, Serena Joy, are on trial for rape and for stealing a baby. Sound familiar? Serena passes off Baby Nicole as her own, even if the biological father is not Fred Waterford. Later it is revealed that the Waterfords committed war crimes for real. The American agent arrests Fred but the girls have an idea. First off, they know how to do a particicution, which is a system where the handmaids tear apart a guy for doing bad things. What bad things, you might ask? The bad things may include something like rape, touching a girl even in the wrong sense, child molestation, and many other crimes. Particicutions are done like this: the handmaids act all rabid and such at the sound of a whistle, and the guy is not to be left untouched, and all his limbs and genitals are torn apart. Well, that’s exactly what happens to Fred Waterford, but his makeshift wall is not coated with a symbol such as a triangle for being gay or a cross for being a priest, but a Latin phrase is written beneath Fred’s hanging corpse. It is satisfying to know that Fred and Serena are not only apart, but Serena gets herself pregnant by a donor’s sperm, further proof that Fred is a sterile man and can’t have kids. Serena Joy is a narcissistic woman in a lot of ways, including but not limited to wanting a baby so bad she’d change a country’s laws to get that done. She had written books, one being A Woman’s Place, but the Sons of Jacob decide that women can’t read or write. This is so antifem and puritan in nature that one would think that women are just the vessels for the Sons of Jacob.

Now, imagine for a moment that the Handmaid’s Tale was real. It isn’t too hard to do actually. Afghanistan is a true form of Gilead, and there are places in Europe deemed “no go” zones because of Islamic asylum seeker males harassing women, raping them, and doing general bad things that intimidate them into silence and freedoms are restricted for them. Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s book Prey describes so much of this, and even has references to “The Road to Gilead” at the conclusion of the main text. Ms. Hirsi Ali has repeatedly warned us that extremism in Islam could lead to the loss of rights for women and girls. She’s right. However, we don’t often pay attention to the extremism in Christian senses.

There is one flaw in the Handmaid’s Tale’s philosophy. One, the Sons of Jacob are to me akin to the Taliban, who are Muslim extremists who wish to forbid girls and women from being free and able to work. Girls in the current regime are expected to be sold off to Taliban fighters as breeders, but there is no mention of the actual work of handmaids. Who are handmaids anyway?

Let’s start with the book of Genesis. The book of Genesis is law in Gilead, so let’s start with the story of Jacob and his wives, Leah and Rachel. Jacob loved Leah and Rachel, but he had a special crush on Rachel. Leah, on the other hand, fought bitterly with her sister and Jacob felt ripped off because the father of them both gave Jacob Leah first. Rachel, on the other hand, says she feels unloved. There is something that occurs when Leah and Rachel duke it out. They use the maidservants, Bilha and Zilpha, to determine the bloodlines of their sons. Leah’s and Rachel’s maids are given to Jacob to sleep with and bear his children, thus the whole justification of the use of handmaids as a surrogate for those who can’t reproduce. Now, what’s wrong with this picture?

LEt’s pretend for a moment that I couldn’t bear children. My current love, Clayton, would never think like this, but let’s just forgive him if he sees this and thinks, what??????? Here’s the skinny: so pretend I can’t have kids, and in this reality, Clayton could potentially bed a woman outside the marriage if the woman was designated “ofClayton”, a handmaid, and the sex required is loveless, feelings mute, all that. According to one essay, the sex required and ceremony as it were feels a bit kinky. I don’t think this is rather kinky, but abusive. Clayton would never actually do this, but this is how it’s set up. The ceremony requirement is law, and also has within it a reading of the selected passages from Genesis justifying the rape of the women involved. The handmaids are educated at what we call the “red centers”, the Rachel and Leah centers formally. Rachel and Leah being the wives of Jacob fighting over the number and spacing of their own children, it seems fitting to name the red centers after them. All the handmaids give up their names, and as part of the contract, they are of whichever commander is lovelessly raping them at the moment. So, that is why I refuse to use the of names for the handmaids. I only make reference to them when someone else does, or if it fits a description.

Now, the big thing about this show you want to watch out for is there is a lot of wrong in Gilead, including child and spousal and female abuse. There is plenty to worry about, but like I said, one need not look too far to find human traffickers and woman haters like those of the Taliban, and the needless destruction of women’s lives is the fault of those who didn’t stand up.

As Elie Wiezel once said in a speech, silence is complicit and allows the oppressors to keep at it. This is quite a paraphrase, but it seems that in the backstory of the Handmaid’s tale, there was quite a bit of that. Silence because of the Gilead commanders and all other oppressive persons being so intimidating is quite common in wartime periods. The Taliban successfully silenced women and those who didn’t support them, making it illegal for women to work and do things outside the home. What could happen to the United States in the current state of things?

First, look at today’s abortion laws. In the Handmaid’s Tale, you can’t abort. Period, end of story, you cannot abort a baby because it is supposedly a gift from a God. Babies, mind you they are very cute, but they come with eighteen years of responsibility that not everybody’s ready for. Now, had anyone been aborted because of blindness, I wouldn’t have known them, but I so wish selective abortion was against the law anyway because India likes to think it is making a million men by aborting females or neglecting them to death. Blind girls are especially at risk. We know that infanticide also occurs among rich Indian families, especially when a midwife is directed to kill a female and they get paid extra for doing so. In Gilead, no baby is killed for any reason, and this I can agree with to a point. Babies are beautiful gifts from the Universe and should never be returned to such unless god forbid the mother’s life and health are at risk. Example, some women at my age, which is classified advanced maternal age, have very high pressure in the blood while giving birth, and in my dear aunt Viki’s case, they are bedridden while baby is gestating. This can be dangerous, and pregnancies are becoming a lot safer to carry for these women, and in fact there are women over forty having babies, and one woman in the Carolinas had her first child at nearly or over half a century old. However, forcing all women to carry babies is tantamount to turning all of us into vessels. Women are not vessels, we have brains, and we don’t like being classified as inferior. Women do not have drastically small brains, as one stupid man likes to believe. There are men who believe women are small brained to the point where they can’t make decisions or think for themselves. Women should and will not tolerate such acts of antifem belief on the part of men who don’t get it. I respect strong men, and I don’t mind having a man to guide me through life, but the most important thing about men that all women should know is that they and I desire a coequal relationship, and Clayton and I have such a relationship and it’s beautiful. However, if something went wrong, I would not know what to do these days. I don’t plan on things going wrong, but things tend to always go wrong. For one, some men aren’t strong enough to resist the pull of someone like a mother or father telling them that a girl is poison or toxic or a player. I was recently acccused of such by my former partner’s mother and grandmother. It is obvious that Trenton is standing with me, and he said it would not be feasible for him and Mom to see one another because of the way she’s handling me. She accused me of playing Trenton, but the truth is that Clayton treats me like a woman and a queen, which is possible for all men to do, but it all depends on environment.

Let’s get back to business here.

Abortion law is trying to create Gilead within the U.S.A., but Colorado women are saying no. If my baby is truly sick, if my baby truly can’t live outside the womb, Clayton would truly understand that. Abortion is a decision that should be made between a woman, her partner if applicable, and her doctors and treatment providers especially if the woman has no support from anyone, was raped, or has psychological implications from pregnancy resulting in possible honor killing or breakdown in the sense of mental state. Some women in Muslim society don’t believe they’re pregnant, and it’s obvious they don’t understand the mechanics of sex and pregnancy because it was hidden from them by family. Again, Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Her book Nomad points to a scenario in three words: sex, money, violence. The sex part is so detailed, the details of which range from who marries who, how marriages are performed and all that to the education on sex and how it intimidated Ayaan’s mother, Asha Artan Umar. Ms. Umar was highly intimidated by Ayaan’s and Haweya’s (Ayaan’s late sister) sex education so bad that she would hit both the girls. Parents, and I am talking to all parents, always educate your kids about sex and growing up and all the good stuff, but let’s add something you might not understand. Consent.

In the Handmaid’s Tale, June is in nonconsentual sexual relations with Fred Waterford and Joseph Lawrence, two commanders in Gilead who have barren wives. For Fred, the rape seems enjoyable, and June can’t stand Serena’s evident enjoyment of pinning the poor girl down on her back. In the miniature education the aunts give the potential handmaids, they say the basics of sex, but there is no mention of consent. Now, how such things compare in reality are obvious. Consent should be a big moral framework of relationships. I consent to Clayton every time and he does the same to me, but if a man comes in and tries to kiss me inappropriately, you can bet that isn’t consensual, and consent should be the one thing that guides relationships. I consented to love Trenton, and I would consent to play with him on occasion, but I would never want to be accused of playing him once again. In the Handmaid’s Tale, girls are trained to think that the nonconsensual sex is their “job.” Imagine thinking you’re in an army or you are the shock troops that raise the birth rate. You want a baby? Okay, hire a handmaid to do the shopping and all the dirty sex work. Even in a lack of consent, the girls are required to have sex with commanders they either don’t like or don’t even trust. I can say that this will likely cause a lot of the girls, should this be reality, to have loads of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). I bet if Moira was a prison guard, I would have thought her able to cook up punishments on Fred Waterford and his delusional wife Serena. I wonder if Moira would suggest the particicution that brought Fred to a dead standstill.

IF there’s one commander I hate the most, it’s Winslow. George Winslow had his handmaid sealed by lip ring. The handmaid could not talk, she could only be fucked without consent. George Winslow is one of those commanders who comes in for inspection, and my favorite scene from season 3 was when Winslow met a very dire end. June had Winslow killed, and his body was disposed of and burned. Well, let this be a lesson to all guys who want to handle women that way. IF you’re George Winslow, you don’t get to choose whether your women talk. The women will come back and bite you in the ass.

IF there’s one commander I feel bad for, it’s Joseph Lawrence. Joseph didn’t seem to be a bad guy when Eleanor, his wife, liked both Emily and June. Joseph called June by her proper name because he actually respected her, and then he said, I was tempted by a faithless woman. the commanders tried to bomb Chicago and “give the insurgents a spanking.” This was season 4. Old Joe Lawrence was a very malleable guy however, and it took me a little bit to realize that Joe was too much. He had a resistance group in his house comprised of Marthas and Handmaids who’d had enough. I would do the same thing as Joseph, house a resistance, if I’d had enough. Believe me, the nonconsensual sex is the biggest issue I’d have in Gilead.

There’s another thing I want to point to. In season 2, Eden, who is an adolescent, is married forcefully to Nick blaine, a commander in the Gilead district. Eden however has other ideas, and is drowned for her relationship with Guardian Isaac. Both of them are thrown in the water, and they recite the biblical verses on love, which I found dramatic and rather touching. Love is not allowed in Gilead, which makes it all the worse. Eden Blaine doesn’t bear children, doesn’t have the fortitude to leave, and she is only about 13 or so when she’s married. Adolescents and theier husbands are told by the minister in Gilead, “Be fruitful and multiply.” Many evangelical Christian churches go by this and it makes me want to barf. The other phrases in genesis that are quoted have to do with women being subject to their husbands’ wishes and desires, and this gem which says, “YOu shall be subject to your husband, and he shall rule over you.” I wrote the not so flowery version of that one here. These girls are very young, perhaps 13 to 15 years of age, when they are forced to get married to these old and seasoned men. I would never want my child getting married at that age. When I was 15, for example, I was in high school, doing band and such. Marriage would require me to drop out of school, and just like that, so many child brides do. The taliban has forbidden education with any intent for girls to work. The Taliban have also probably forbidden love, they might as well have forbidden romance. All that seems to have been forbidden in extremism of any religious thinking, Islam or Christianity.

I have mixed feelings about Aunt Lydia. I also have such about one woman who died while giving birth to Commander Matthew Calhoun’s child. I do not have a name for this woman, but I dare not say the handmaid’s patriarchal “of” name again out of respect. This woman betrayed handmaids, was shot at a dedication of a red center, and furthermore, she had seizures and was kept alive until her baby was born. This woman wouldn’t have lasted, but the Calhouns had a child out of it. All the handmaids had to stay and watch and pray for this despicable woman, and I felt a bit sorry for her as her baby was removed from her body, premature and unable to feed as well as he should. Calhoun had a son.

The Handmaid’s Tale overall is a riveting roller coaster ride. I would ride it again, but it was quite long and four seasons later, the conclusion is quite satisfying. I did mention Fred dropped dead? He did indeed, in a ravine, during what you’d call a particicution style killing. The Americans and Canadians were unwilling or unable to bring Waterford to justice, so justice, as so happens to be in this case, was carried out in the best poetic way possible. I can’t fathom the Latin on the bottom of fred’s gallows, but I wonder if those gallows would be a lesson to all those who try and force girls into believing in something they don’t, and further than this, I would hope that Fred’s gallows teach all of us that no matter what a regime does to women, no matter how you try to bring a group down, love and right always win. Good and love and all the right stuff usually and about 99% of the time always always wins.

To watch the Handmaid’s Tale, if you haven’t seen it, just subscribe to Hulu for $5 a month or if you have certain deals in carrier phone plans, do use such deals and take advantage of the Disney bundle, but beware of ESPN. I hate ESPN and all things sports, namely because my family would obsess and do things and worship it.

Disclaimers are interwoven throughout this entry so taht I can readily guide my audience. Thank you for reading my blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook and Twitter.

Thank you so much to those who have supported me, including Clayton and Trenton, and all of my dear friends who say that I should take my talents far. I love you all and can’t wait to do more.

Beth

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