Mother’s Day Reflections

Dear Readers,

Every Mother’s Day, we kids would wake up to having a breakfast for a change, but Mom usually got the first dibs on breakfast because it was her day. I usually made her coffee, so she had that. Sometimes she wanted cinnamon rolls and bacon or pancakes and bacon and eggs whatever breakfast foods there were at the store. Now that I think about it, I wish my mother was a bit more cooperative and realized that I want to become a mother myself.

One, she bore me out of wedlock, and that was enough to make her go over the edge with me when I was a little girl. Secondly, she holds one part of the guardianship that ruined my life. Nobody is safe from this, but my parents seriously don’t get it. I want to be a mother, and it’s important to me because my children will learn plenty of good things from me, including about the Loving decision which allowed black and white to marry. Trenton being black doesn’t mean anything. It means there’s a difference in cultural outlooks, but who cares. I still love him, and he will be a good dad sometime in the future, we don’t know. We need a family physician who will bar my parents from trying to terminate the pregnancy, after all that should be illegal unless the woman decides and if she was raped or incestuously touched. If a woman is raped or a relative commits incest against her, she should be able to decide what to do with the baby, but if it’s a baby made of love, like a baby that was planned, that’s a different ballgame. Abortion rights advocates should also take note that babies with disabilities should not be terminated because of their disabilities. IF it’s a died-in-the-womb thing, I can understand. However, I don’t want my baby to die. My mother could not nurse her child, me, but I hope I can for my own child. I want the chance to do things that other people get to do off a silver platter just because they work for it. As a blind person under guardianship, I can’t work, and Colorado should do its part to protect me and the child from being separated. I will have a child someday whether anyone likes it or not, but Mother’s Day wishes won’t be reserved for someone who just advocated for my life to be ruined. My mother advocated for me to be held back for ridiculous reasons in school, mostly behavioral, and then she threatened to ship me to a very bad school in Florida. St. Augustine’s Florida School for the Deaf and Blind had a colorful history back in the 1980s. Remember Jennifer Driggers and Christi Edelmann? Both girls died there. It was due to irresponsibility on the part of staff and students alike, and all of this colorful history is in the book Walking Alone and Marching Together. I must look at the book, and I’m sure you will see why my mother was going on too little information. Shipping me to a school for the blind would have been a terrible choice. My mother didn’t care if the health education was substandard, she wanted an instant fix to her daughter’s rebellious behavior. However, there’s a reason for all the things we do in the world, and rebelling was the only way I could find hope and independence as a disabled person. Guardianship was to my parents an instant fix, but it’s a long term life stealer. My mother won’t be getting flowers or cards from me this Mother’s Day, but Trenton’s mom will and we’re going to do bbq at her mom’s house, and dinner will be awesome. Hopefully, we have a good talk and maybe we could convince the grandmother that the church isn’t the best place to wed due to counseling requirements, plus we have a couples counselor already provided for us at Denver Health. Reason? Because of the extraneous circumstances that Trenton unfortunately has to cope with when being a significant other to someone like me. If my parents had counseling, maybe they wouldn’t have had guardianship because they would realize they are getting it because of the darker skinned guys or the fact that I don’t want to see them anymore. IF I have a child, they could be barred from seeing the child, guardianship or not. I’ll have that done so my child can grow up safe from racism, abuse, and possible isolation from his/her mom and dad. I want to be able to talk to Trenton no matter where I go, and I won’t go to Orlando for any reason, even NFB convention. They need to pick a different location because Orlando is no longer a safe location for a lot of people, meaning Baker Act just for being blind. Or someone could shout to the rooftops that someone needs a public guardian, and that could ruin someone’s life forever. The NFB has a long way to go to recognize the efforts of blind moms, and I want to be among those moms. In closing, my family doesn’t deserve Mother’s Day and probably shouldn’t celebrate it, rather they should be reflecting on why they don’t have a daughter.

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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