Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Dear readers,

I can’t write much about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, not because I don’t know or respect her, but because she did all the things I expected a woman justice to do. Mrs. Ginsburg was proud of her womanhood, and she fought for women’s equality in all manner of things. She even fought Rutgers University on the whole pay front for women professors, and she didn’t even let a husband’s income stop her from earning equal pay. Mrs. Ginsburg had so much to offer, and she gave it out to all of us. She’s amazingly well loved by all, and I’m concerned that Trump, in all his infinite idiocy will try to fill the post with someone who isn’t quite qualified.

For one thing, I think Neil Gorsich is mad as hell, and Brent Cavanaugh should not have been on the bench because of what he did to those girls. He makes disabled people look bad, just as anyone else does. We can’t confirm just any woman to the Supreme Court, it has to be a woman who fights for women’s rights and equality and won’t reverse all the history Ginsburg put out there. Example, LGBTQI+ rights must be acknowledged, period. We can’t have a Conservative on the court any longer, and hopefully, Biden or whoever else is elected other than Donald Trump will do something about the indecency he brought to the courts. He wanted Ruth Bader Ginsburg to die, just so he could put more clout in the justice system which is supposed to protect everybody, not just Trump family members. We need a justice who understands what is supposed to happen.

May the memory of Ruth Bader Ginsburg be a blessing, and let her spirit carry on in the next justice to succeed her.

Beth

iOS and iPad OS 14: Creepy or awesome?

Dear readers,

I just updated my phone, TV, watch, and iPad to iOS 14, and there are some things you need to know about these updates.

1. In order to do voiceover screen recognizing, you need an A12 chip or higher, so a regular iPad 7 won’t do. I learned this the hard way.

2. However, if you do have an A12 capable device or higher, you can read and browse your photos and learn the details of pics. I like this feature best on an iPhone anyway.

3. For the health gurus who use iPhone, make sure you set up sleep mode, and when you awake too early, it asks if you want to turn off your alarm from the watch. I turned mine off, and it didn’t go off on my phone. The watch and phone frequently talk to each other, as you guys might knowFor the ones who want to hear or see more details, please listen to the podcast, the throne Room with Beth Taurasi, and please go to http://www.applevis.com for more on voiceover bugs and other details. You will find some helpful tech podcasts on the site as done by others who are avid users of the products. Also, I love my updates so far because the updates bring lots of great new features and stuff to help me track and get fit and better able to do health stuff.

letter to the white people who call 911 or disturb the lives of black Americans

Dear white people,

Yes, this is a post dedicated to white people, especially those who think it okay to disturb the lives of African Americans and those with disabilities, and those without disabilities alike. I have a quandary for you to think on: blindfold yourselves. Underneath that blindfold, how do you feel? How does it feel to walk about blindfolded? Now, I want you to grab someone in the room, black or white, whatever. Don’t look at their faces, don’t stare at the curl in their hair. Don’t make fun of how they talk, walk, blink, or run a temp. Just go, grab that person in front of you and go sit down and talk to these people. What will you find out? The answers might surprise you.

You might find that black people’s lives are rooted in suffering and tyranny caused not by a problem in their nature, but by your very existence, presence, and interactions with them. They do not like what you say about them, calling them unpleasant names too vulgar to write in this blog, they do not like the way you shackle them to the walls while speaking to them. They don’t like the illegalization of natural medicine, including cannabis, and they don’t like so many of the other things you do to them to make their lives a living hell. Imagine if you had seen a sign on a black owned business that said, “Negroes/blacks only” and you walked in and said “I want service.” The black man behind the counter gets up, says, “No way, you paleface, get the hell out of my restaurant.” If you don’t, you get arrested. Imagine sitting in the bus while on the way to work, but imagine that you have to sit in the back, in a dirty seat covered with holes and crumby looking. then another black person steps in, and you are told to “Give up that seat.” You refuse, and get arrested for this. So you did this to black people, so don’t be surprised if the blacks try and upend your system, your little privileged system of white power and such. The Brethren of men who every day set foot in your jails, your prisons, your mental health crisis units, these men and women alike, these young children, they are God’s chosen people, they are his children. You have upended their empires, kingdoms, and matrilineal way of life, and replaced it with chattel slavery because you are of the opinion that these people lack the knack for inventions, and you steal the credit for these people’s work. Who really invented ice cream? Someone who’s black. Who truly invented the cotton gin? Don’t give that crap about Eli Whitney, so tell me who really invented the cotton gin? Don’t tell me cotton is king in the South, and don’t spew your nonsense about Gone with the Wind being better than a modern Korean movie, though I can’t speak Korean myself. Don’t bring your guns to protests, remember you are the seventeen-year-old who shoots protesters for fun, right? Wrongo. You should never have had that gun and you knew it was wrong, don’t claim self defense. I don’t defend a murderer. You don’t understand that what these people want is to end your oppression, your silencing, your stupid and abominable Jim and Jane Crow. They need to go, and we’re in a serious situation with Jim Crow 2.0. Jim Crow 2.0 consists of the following: police brutality, mass incarceration, and racial profiling. It’s not like it’s the law that you idiots get all the power and privilege because you sit in cleaner diner booths, go to the lavatories in cleaner areas, sit in the “whites only” waiting rooms. It’s not Jim Crow laws, not now at least. But Jim Crow version 2’s time is up. Stop killing my brothers, sisters, relatives, married relations, partner, sons and daughters, all who are darker than yourself. Stop killing and oppressing these people. Leave my Trenton alone, and let his people go. Don’t start with me, I’ll tear down the walls around your real intent, to sabotage my relationship with him, with Trenton, the only man who has shown me affection and love, who you probably don’t want around. His mother is a real mama bear, someone who would sacrifice life and limb to protect her son, and I get it. I’m in her family, and there’s no one better than her for Trenton. She nurtured his gifts, she understood her son’s disability. You white people have a lot to learn from a simple act of compassion, so where the hell is your empathy? If you have a fragile ego, go throw it in the dumpster. Just do it, don’t complain, don’t whine or scream at me. If you do, then I’ll give you a fragile ego to complain about, a broken and deflated one, more deflated than a deflated football. It will be the main thing that keeps you out of college, jobs, housing, and so on. Your egos will likely crash and burn, and you think you can live in a bubble forever. Listen to the words of Eiffel 65’s Living In a Bubble for a moment: “Life in a bubble, baby, a bubble’s no reality. If it blows, you’ll be alone.” If that little alternate reality bubble pops, you will be scattered like the drops of bubblegum saliva that goes flying everywhere when you pop a bubble of gum. Don’t tell me I don’t know. I popped some gum before, and blew a pretty large bubble, but when the bubble bursts, it goes flat, and in the case of the gum, it goes everywhere, all over your face. Look at Jimmy Neutron, who tried “bubble transport” to get to school, but the bubble burst on a tree, and where Jimmy went, well, he ended up with gum all over himself. He was alone. His reality had burst.

A bubble of reality for you white people is in your history books, so if you want to make a more equitable society, get rid of your whitewashed bullshit. Just do it. Don’t whine, don’t scream, don’t kick, don’t fly into rages and threaten me. If you do, I’ll pop that gum all over your face should there be that bubble around you. IF you get covered in that alternate gunk of bubblegum, don’t even ask for help. Because in reality, the people you are hurting are going to burst that bubble for you. Your textbooks, for one, will be changed to talk about the self made black people you demolished in Tulsa, Oklahoma in a race massacre, not a riot. You also massacred many a young unarmed black man in the streets, even men who I honestly don’t understand why they’d take advantage of me. Forgive these men, for they do not know what they do. Lord, forgive them.

So what would my world be without my partner? Alone, isolated, my care halved, my life cut in half, and only half of me alive. And you will be to blame. If you’re the officers who swear you want to “protect and serve”, then by golly do it, goddamnit. Protect and serve all your people in your precincts, don’t just favor the pretty white blonde cheerleader with the annoying ponytail, the valley girl accent, and the stupid amounts of makeup on her. Don’t favor the strapping young brunette man, brown hair lighter than wood, eyes bluer than water, with the tattoos on his arms, with the big muscles. Don’t favor the annoying old white lady with the spoiled rotten puppy in her purse, her long silver hair tattered about with split ends that haven’t been cut, but yet is stick straight. Don’t favor the goldilocks child in your classrooms, her curly blonde locks could also be brown, who sits there and makes up stories about her baby dolls and shows disfavor to everything else. IF you’re a teacher, give the young dark haired boy with the dreadlocks some extra TLC, okay? Don’t sit there and call the young Kenyan immigrant sitting beside your other black students a freak or other racist language too vulgar to write here. Teach the children how to sing, “Jambo” in Swahili, how to play the djembe drums and dance like they never danced before. Allow your white brethren to learn about these cultures, and give them the highest standards by which to accomplish the understanding and empathy toward this boy.

Don’t disfavor the young dark haired girl, the one with the so called “Ramen noodle hair”, the one who gets bullied all the time, but give her a friend and a hand to hold. If she wants to go to your gleaming universities covered with gold thrones and classrooms inlaid with silver, let her in. Let her in, and if you’re the popular girl in the high school who is spending all her time fucking around with boys on the jock side of the cafeteria, take a moment and take care not to do it anymore. If you are that girl, go sit with the girl with the “Ramen noodle hair.” Go sit with her, and learn her story and learn to cry with her, laugh with her, and breathe her air. If you’re the football stud who claims to have so many girls, unadopted babies, and no cash, do me a favor and learn the story of your black brothers who are not learning responsibility because of your mismanagement of yourselves. If you’re the star white quarterback or center of the sports teams, just do something and sit with the dark haired boy with Down’s Syndrome, and learn his story. Go to a homeless shelter and learn about single motherhood, if you come from an intact family. If you’re a guy who is blonde, stupid, and foolish enough to reject that girl over there who can’t see you, learn why. Don’t defend your foolishness, but learn to tell if your actions are unwarranted. If you’re the men who are lying on Jacob Blake, the man who was paralyzed in Kenosha, Wisconsin, you need to shut your mouths. Shut your mouths, and give Jacob that wheelchair he will need for the rest of his life. Give Jacob a beautiful golden retriever who will pick up dropped items for him, and know that your actions brought on his disability. You caused it, there was no crime. You are guilty of white supremacy and racial profiling under many things, and inciting Jim Crow version 2.0. Just shut up and admit your guilt, but don’t be surprised if you’re in jail with the very brethren you despise. You lie on Briana Taylor who did not want you shooting her in her sleep. You lied on all the unarmed black teenagers, allowed a white idiot named George Zimmerman to kill Treyvon Martin. He didn’t deserve to die, and a rapper did a tribute song to this boy, who played football. Just think about this. If you can’t handle the melting pot, the racial rainbow our country is supposed to be, I’ve got a place you can go to.

Go to Russia, Siberia, Antarctica, the cold climates in the world, and never even think of coming back. Take your white supremacies, your tattoos of the Aryan Brotherhood, your 911 calls on a suspicious person who is African American, your suspending young black girls from school for having the wrong hairstyle, take it all to Siberia with you. I don’t want to see it here, not here, not this year, not this entire millennium. I want it gone, the systemic racism gone, so that my mixed little child or children one day will be living Martin Luther King’s dream, forever. It is highly probable that if your Agent Orange wins another term, my partner and I will have to exile in another country that doesn’t speak our language. This is sad, really sad, and overtly tumultuous circumstances you will try and put us in, and you know what? Love doesn’t like evil, love likes truth, loves the truth, does not boast, is patient, kind, and above all, it burns. Hell, if you step closer to me, the love for my man I have burns like a burning red red rose. Trenton knows my love for him burns like a fire, but as Robert Burns would put it, it is like a red red rose, but for me, it’s definitely like a burning red rose. Picture the flames coming out of the blossoms, that’s what I’m talking about.

Before I close, take heed of what I say. If yyou’re a white person who is not racially woke like I am, just … don’t fool around, stop messing around, as the sheriff said to my great ancestor, James Wade. Just let me have a job, a house, and the pitter patter of little feet on the tile or linoleum floor. Just stop and think about what the pitter patter of little feet will do for me, and the rest of society. That pitter patter will turn into big footsteps, big steps to walking down the aisle, getting a job, and being a responsible citizen. If you have the luck of hearing that pitter patter, take responsibility for showing the owner of those small tiny feet how to walk beside the ponies, but not just that, the family dog, and your black family friends. Teach your child that it’s all right to be whatever you want, and not get your head cut off. I have a dream that one day, this world will bee fair and just, as MLK would put it eloquently. MLK did say this, and this is my closer, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Beth

It’s Time to Really Save the Children

Dear readers,

It is apparent that Q-Anon is trying to steal the save the children movement, and they want to make up stories about kids being trafficked without letting other media sources in on it. Here’s the deal: there are still children being sexually abused, and if you truly want to save them from the perils of sex abuse, here’s how you can do this.

Patriarchal behavior must end. Like now. Don’t let your older grandpas and fathers force affection on your young daughters and sons. It is very vital that daughters and sons alike learn boundaries and consent at an early age. Lets be clear: you want to hug your kids when they want to be hugged, especially after toddlerhood and that’s fine. however, the primary caregiver should be at least showing affection in alternative ways to their children. Babies must be held, I’m not arguing with that, and toddlers must be shown praise for good behavior and no praise for bad. The whole thing must be done right so that the kids’ development doesn’t reach a snag or they don’t suffer longterm into adulthood. So what could snag your daughter’s or son’s development? Patriarchal behavior from old men. So that means daughters don’t need to necessarily show affection when prompted, neither should sons. Since daughters have higher risk of getting pregnant at teen age, please, mothers and fathers, make sure you stress the importance of boundaries and consent with the boys and girls alike, but it will be especially helpful for daughters.

Sexual education must cover consent. Even from the youngest children, consent must be taught in school. Preschool kids have the highest risk of being sexually abused because they don’t understand certain things, things like date and time and frequency, and they aren’t fully developed adults, no kidding. These little ones also may not have the language and cognition to understand sexual body parts and the frequency of such parts being touched, and they may have to act it out in front of you in order for you to understand what happened. For example, if a boy is caught swaying his hips in a sexually suggestive manner, wetting his bed, etc., there could be the possibility of sex abuse. Stay calm and ask your kid, did someone touch you in a way you didn’t like? That’s the best way to go about it with a child so young, according to at least one source I’ve stuck with. Teenagers may be able to express frequency and time and all that, but they are still too young to consent to sexual activity, and should not be married off to their abuser. Seventeen-year-olds in my book should never have permission to marry because they won’t be protected in case of abuse. Child marriage I’ve written about, so go check it out.

Empathy and believing kids must happen. One of my friends believes her daughter, so that is a good thing, but so many parents out there are not believing young women and girls when they say someone raped them or told them they were worthless, tried to touch them, etc. Whatever you do, as a parent, believe your child. Yes, children can lie, but this is not something to lie about. I have said over and over again about how my ex was abusive, and how the community as a whole doesn’t believe me. Well, believing women and girls can change the world, can upend the patriarchal bad behavior of old and young men alike. We must do this in order to save our children. The only way to save all our kids is to believe the ones who are abused. This is vitally important. Just as important, believe it when your son says his preschool teacher’s aid has been fondling him. I thank you for reading and supporting this blog.

Beth

Why I Am a Liberal

Dear readers,

Before you open your conservative Christian right lips and try and deface what I’m about to write, please listen with an open mind and open heart and realize that what I’m about to say is not an affront to you all, not exactly an affront to all religious things at all. I am a liberal because of a few things: my experiences as a disabled female, the victim of sexual harassment and revenge porn, albeit audio revenge porn. What was my experience like as a disabled female?

For one, my mother had to have had premarital sex in college, despite a staunch Catholic belief system. Who was her partner? I still do not know, but it is likely that her partner was African American, which explains why she refuses to believe that Michael, one of my long lost friends, was an appropriate match for me. My parents wanted say in who I married, and this is patriarchal at best, and I don’t believe in the idea that a daddy can own his daughter. I believe that a guy or gal has the right to marry anyone they want, and if they want to get married, they don’t even have to have permission from me first. Trenton’s daughters will not be owned by him, and I’m not his property either. What the church people want you to believe is that women are the property of fathers, then husbands. Please refer back to the post on Nathan Larsen, who believes women should be sex slaves and whose accounts have repeatedly been banned from the internet because his beliefs incited violence against women and minorities. I don’t believe a word of what Conservatives call antifeminist thoughts. As a female who’s been revenge porned by an ex, I believe we need to have laws in place to help those victims, and this means that men like my ex, Jason, need to put their audio porn in the garbage. I do not hereby give permission to any Jasons out there to put pictures and audio of female subjects of theirs on the Internet, period, because we are women and the body we own is ours. Women’s bodies are not the property of a male, pure and simple, and if someone like my ex had the guts to rape a woman, she should have the right to obliterate what he put in there because believe me, abortion would not be a regrettable decision at that point. I don’t want to know if that product is a male or female, and if I may use such a cold term to refer to babies at all, the product of a seedy person who just doesn’t give a damn about women and minorities is not my child to raise. IF I had been forced to live in the deep south, and was raped by a man who had sex on his mind, I would indeed give the baby away in the hospital or abort. Those would be my options, and I don’t want someone who is capable of oppression doing more harm to women than good. Because of the experiences I’ve seen, having been an indirect witness to other people’s sufferings and needs, I chose liberalism because it is the only path to equality and justice for all. Let me outline my principles and beliefs, which do resonate with me and with the Universalist Unitarian church.

I believe in all facets of liberty and justice for all. This means what it says. When a woman is unjustly fired from her job because she has had premarital sex, I would say she needs to sue the company and tell them she was raped if indeed that crime was committed. My friend Joy (name has been altered for privacy reasons), was raped by a man in california who was in training at the Colorado Center for the Blind. I have believed her, which is a big first step, but if CCB were to have kicked her out because of premarital sex, this would be a sign of injustice and male privilege. CCB gets federal dollars and grants, so I honestly believe she should at least confront her rapist and tell him that he’s a monster. This man, Brian (name has been altered for privacy reasons) went on to impregnate a girl in New Mexico whose name I don’t know, or someone at convention or someone I don’t know at all. The woman was in Fort Collins, Colorado, and her son, Brian’s son, was adopted out. She might have made the right choice, but I’m afraid for her son who might inherit the seediness of Brian’s DNA or a trait that should bee tempered and tamed through counseling and therapy and some medications. Will the little guy become a sexual offender? I hope not.

I believe that women are equal to men, and that means in all aspects. Minorities and women have been routinely disenfranchised from the system for loving who they love, being who they are, and for having female genitalia. This is grossly unfair, and that’s another reason why I’m a liberal. I write this blog because the disability community has a long way to go to acknowledge that women are equal. joy was taken advantage of because she was someone who had female genitalia, and that is not fair, on top of the fact that she is blind and has other health issues. Brian with his male privilege is a real piece of dirt. He should acknowledge that all women are equal, but by no means should he ever say to me, as he said in one Facebook comment, “I am glad you are not in a position of power.” This man, oddly enough, is in no position to make choices in politics, so let’s keep it that way.

Black and white people should at least be together through all means. Races should be integrated. It took me years to get through this, but part of my blog is devoted to racial justice. It took me a lot of time and thoughts to think about what black and white means. So what if African Americans are different? So their culture is different, what is the point? Trenton is a sweet and caring individual who has a lot of love to give, so I’m staying with him no matter what. trenton is black, I was raised white, but I could be mixed race. See above. The thing to remember is that I started out as the roommate of someone who truly for whatever reason hated my guts. I don’t know if Christy (name has been changed) would ever speak to me again, but she was black. I tried to be friendly with her later on Facebook, but she’s gone. I hate to see her gone, and I thought I’d make up all the time spent not understanding, not in and of her world, to at least say something. Christy is gone, and I don’t know where.

Same sex couples have a right to adopt. Don’t tell me they don’t. I’d like to also acknowledge that there are some poly folks on my page. They are amazing, just plain amazing. I have a poly friend in Texas who has not one, but two husbands. She’s pretty amazing, and I want to acknowledge that women should have a right to polyamorous marriages if they want because trust me, it would prevent a lot of instances of cheating and … well, it would mean harmony for the whole family. Polygamy as practiced in the FLDS is of course a wrong idea, but still I think women should choose what they want, and marry who they want. I chose Trenton, and he chose me. Of course, he begs me very loudly to bring home another girl, but he’s probably kidding around. Yes, it would be nice, but Trenton is weird as all weirdos are. That’s just who he is, and that’s why I love him dearly.

My activism has been restricted to the blog and podcast. However, I want to be able to put the podcast on other means, in other means, and so on. As a podcaster, I want to be able to convey what a lot of liberals need to feel. As a person who is blind and a victim and survivor of revenge porn and sexual harassment, I want to say that being a liberal and not attending a conservative minded church is the best thing I can do at this point. I want to see true freedom while I’m around. And what does that freedom look like? Well, because I can’t marry legally, I want access to the same jobs and things as those who are staunch Christians. Since Trenton and I are on disability, we want the same access to healthcare, and we want any gay or transgender child to get life affirming care because they deserve it. Period. We want to make sure that we’re good parents, and if we adopt, we’ll adopt someone who doesn’t normally get adopted. That’s the thing. And we want that right, married or not. We want the domestic foster system to make sure we are recognized in the adoption papers. I don’t want to have to apply as a single mother, nor does or should Trenton have to play single father in order to get benefits for the children. So what should we do anyway? This is what fighting and freedom looks like from my lens.

For those of you who are wondering, I”m wanting to monetize this blog. I’d also like to use Patreon to get ads out there promoting my blog, promoting the stuff I do and talk about. Why? Bread and butter, of course, but moreover, I want people to see my life as valid, the lives of my friends as valid, and the lives of women and girls and minorities with disabilities and their lives as valid. I could have been Bahai, but religiously I was raised Catholic, converted to islam, left Islam, and then decided that I’d not be practicing any religious faith because of the conservative lynchpins I’ve seen, the whole thing about premarital sex being stupid and unfair. When a woman is raped, premarital sex is not to be considered. Rape victims should be given kindness and care, not thrown out on the streets. When a woman is the victim of revenge porn, it should be duly noted that the men who do this should be put in jail, forced to pay a pension for the woman’s distress, and not allowed to date for a period of time. If I was a judge in Georgia, for example, I’d tell my ex that “Mr. Owens, you put up this revenge porn stuff on Teamtalk. Think about your victim, and since you don’t have empathy for others, why not sit back and ask yourself, will I or my victim have a job after this?” I’d sentence Mr. Owens to life in prison without parole for the distribution of revenge porn around the servers he’s been on. I would hope that someone ketches him stalking women and girls as he has been doing, and stops him before he gets worse. Judges talk like the way I wrote that quote, so you all need to know that, just saying.

I’d like to say also that those of you checking out my blog, you are amazing. Please feel free to read, and let the words I write speak truth to power. That’s what I’m doing.

Beth

The Reality of Being Paralyzed: Dedicated to Jacob Blake

Dear readers,

This post is a follow up to what I stated in my podcast. If you’d like to subscribe to the podcast via Spotify, Apple Music, etc., please go to http://thethroneroom.denverqueen.com and subscribe to the podcast so you can listen to the points I make on the whole Jacob Blake situation. The shooting he endured at the hands of the Kenosha police department has left him a member of the paralyzed disabled community, so here’s a reality check so that the officers understand what care this man will need in the immediate future.

1. Architectural barriers could become a reality for Mr. Blake. Depending on what wheelchair and equipment he gets to move with, Jacob Blake could face buildings without ramps, churches that won’t accommodate him in an elevator, and buildings without grab bars in their toilet stalls. There are a variety of architectural barriers he could face as a disabled man.

2. Careers could be lost. Jacob Blake could lose his job for being in a wheelchair and not walking or dancing could mean that his boss and coworkers would look down on him. Even finding a new job could be horrendously hard for him, just ask activist Clayton Jacobs how many applications he can fill out in a year, and still not get callbacks and interviews. Even I had to fill out applications and no callbacks or interviews. So many blind people are feared, and because of the barriers we face, we don’t get jobs. But paralyzed people could be in greater more dire circumstances. Because of Blake’s high profile shooting and paralysis, nobody will feel in the least sympathetic towards him if they are white, so he’ll need to work in a place that is black friendly. How’s that for hard to find because nobody is safe, even in my Denver metro area backyard.

3. Family barriers. Who knows if Mr. Blake will ever be able to engage in intimacy with his future wife or wives? Who knows if his children will ever have the same dad they saw getting into the car after the dreadful shooting. Will Mr. Blake go to rehab and discover that the family is faithful and will stay by his side? Will his fiance who saw the shooting happen still want to marry him? Even if he can’t dance with his wife? Will she leave him and call off the wedding? I hope not, because it would be a sign of weakness and unfaithfulness and for her, maybe she should get some educational materials about paralysis and wheelchair use.

The reality is that the Kenosha police department will undoubtedly be sued by the family and forced to pay up. Here’s a shopping list of things they will pay for, god willing the lawsuit goes through.

A power wheelchair and charger,

Care and rehabilitative services so he can use the wheelchair and stuff,

A reacher device that lets you reach for something on the floor, and if he can’t bend, he could use the reacher to pick items up,

A service dog trained especially for the purpose of helping paralyzed people,

A specially made car and/or a van that would allow him to get in and out, screw paratransit because he can see to drive, but moreover, he needs his wheels too,

and finally, a barrier free house. the house will need to include ramps, rails, grab bars in the bathing areas, and all kinds of setups that would allow him to cook, sit at table, and perform the tasks he used to do while upright. Now, he’ll have to learn to cook while sitting down.

If anyone thinks they don’t want this reality check, take a look at those who are sufferers of CP, cerebral palsy, and those who go paralyzed as a result of accidents, and so on.Paralysis and CP require almost the same services and so on, but Mr. Blake is going to need extra care and safety because his own town’s police department messed his life up forever.

Beth

Ways to Give While You Search

Dear readers,

Do you know of a search engine that gives while you search? Bing is one such thing that gives when you search. Imagine a world bettered by the searches you do on Bing, and I am hooked. Why? Thanks to Trenton, I’m totally hooked because The Center on Colfax in Colorado, otherwise known as the Gay and Lesbian and Transgender center in Colorado is getting my donations. Yes, I got them a whole dollar, but I have 5000 points earned through quizzes and stuff, but you really can search and give. Here’s how to activate Give mode on Bing.

1. First, open Bing on edge or on your phone, but remember, Bing app is not compatible with iPad. Yet. So use Edge instead. When you open Edge, proceed to the bing home page. Or you can go directly to http://www.bing.com/give, and activate give mode. Remember this little hint: you need to be signed in to your Microsoft account first before activating give mode for searches.

2. Choose a nonprofit from the featured list, or you can filter by category and state, and for you international folks, just search for a nonprofit, but most of these are American and international groups alike I think. You can browse categories of all sorts, including those of civil rights.

3. Hit the select button next to the nonprofit you want. Then make sure you hit the Yes button after it alerts you if you want to change your nonprofit, which by default is something I forgot but it looks to be a national org. Anyway, you have the power to give to any org you choose, from religious orgs to youth orgs to civil rights to community improvement orgs. The possibilities are endless.

When you turn give mode on, every time you do a search on Bing, you get points donated each month while you search during the month to the nonprofit of your choice. Here’s my example: every month I search for stuff, shopping and restaurants, pics and all kinds of mess, and I get all my search points accumulated in a donation each month to the Colorado Gay, Lesbian, Transgender center in Denver, better known as the Center on Colfax to my friends who patronize that area. It’s a great way to empower the groups that make a difference in our communities. IF you have any questions about Bing and the giving thing, just ask on Twitter or Facebook because comments here are disabled for now.

Beth

What Nobody Should Necessarily Have to Tell Their Children

Dear readers,

When I was little and wanted to dream big, there were two things that bothered me. I wanted to be everything but a musician, although I have the best outlook life can give me when I sing or play, and I wanted to contribute to the public. There’s one thing a little kid doesn’t need to tell their parent figures, “Mommy, I want to be an activist.” I’ll tell you why.

There are countries where activism is illegal, countries like Burundi, Hong Kong, and China. Places like that are not safe for disabled activists, but here in America, activism looks brighter. I would have probably been an officer of the law if I were sighted, carrying a badge that meant protect and serve. However, blindness became a barrier by which people could crush that dream. People asked me what I really wanted to do, and I am fascinated with science, but sometimes people are saying science is bunk. However, being a scientist requires some observation. There are blind ones, but what vocational counselor would approve school to be a biologist if I couldn’t see the microscopic crap going on in a habitat? That’s worse than ever.

I have excelled at music, but for what? What sort of career would I take on? Well, first and foremost, I don’t want to have to do this, but I’m considering a run for Governor of Colorado as a longterm goal. Why? Because, well, kiddos, activism sometimes requires you to infiltrate the higher ups. I love our governor, but there’s something really wrong with all the nation’s governors. They’re all able, don’t know what it takes to be good change makers. Some are idiots, but like Polis, Governor Jared Polis, some are smart and have done incredible work to respond to the unprecedented pandemic that swept the earth. But me? I want to reform the guardianship system, take it away from the state, abolish young disabled people’s guardianships so that they can make their own choices throughout their lives, get proper supports, and maybe get the best chance at having a meaningful contribution to society, what by voting and engaging in civics that’s what.

As a politician, I’d be running on a disability rights platform, putting teeth in to the ADA, telling employers they have to hire not based on disability, telling employers that they can’t turn away people based on lack of a college degree, but rather, they should give people apprenticeships and experience so they can have a meaningful career. Example, friends who have told me I couldn’t broadcast are rightfully wrong for their actions. There are some pretty shitty broadcasters on the Internet, but I’d rather work for Colorado Public Radio. I would rather get accommodations for my disability, do internships, and do the right thing and get a career. However, a friend in Kentucky was told he couldn’t have his dream job because of inexperience and no college. No, this guy has plenty of experience in a workaday job and can do things you wouldn’t believe. He also broadcasts regularly on Twitch, and he goes by the username of “blindmetalgamer” all one word, but if you are interested in his gaming stuff, that’s his highlight. However, I think he would sound great on a radio station that promotes heavy metal and or hip hop. Just my thought.

My career, however, is not a career I want to have to take, but nobody is believing that guardians of young disabled people deny them too many meals a day, tell them they’ll be force fed, accuse them of being “crazy” and thus overmedicate them, and nobody believes that guardians are liquidating assets of elders who need the highest respect. I am shocked to learn that so many of our elders who are indeed the windows to our past are being treated like disposable paper plates. This has got to end. My parents have a family member with dementia they have to care for since his wife died, and now my mother in law has to decide whether to get the state involved in her mother’s care. However, the problem and the biggest statistic lies with the race of both these wonderful people. While my grandfather is retired gracefully, and in a good spot, I don’t know what will happen to my grandmother-in-law, she needs to be in a place of refuge for a while, not shut up in her own home. Not even in a nursing home should have anything to do with her care, but day programs are a good way to socialize and at least prevent early death. Early death happens when elders are isolated, and I’ve covered Japan a bunch of times, but they have better mindsets for their centenarians, and they have registered more centenarians than any other country I know. Blame it on the miso, but that stuff according to some I know is really good.

Americans like me should know the consequences of all this stuff, and I don’t want to be the one talking about this all the time at Capitol Hill, but we need to do something about the self determination of others who might be denied chances to marry, have kids, or live quiet lives with friends who actually give a damn. For example, I have a buddy who swears he doesn’t get supports where he had a family, but now he’s on his way to getting married. I don’t know what exactly will happen, but I’m hoping that my friends in the disability community read this carefully. I did not want to initially be an activist. I didn’t have any role models for activism, and disabled ones were few and far between.

As a person living with a sensory disability, I want to also mandate web accessibility of all utility and apps so that we can do a variety of things, including but not limited to, order pizza, date, do school work and homework, buy things we like or want or need, take pictures and so much more. I can imagine a world in which you can as a blind person do photo editing, take selfies with your guide dog at sit position, and so many other things too. What about blind persons having the capacity to drive a car? What about a totally renewable energy transportation for the disabled that makes noise, that tells you they’re waiting outside your driveway and so many other weird and wonderful things? I wouldn’t, however, recommend bubblegum travel like Jimmy Neutron, so please, whatever you do, don’t do that.

Thank you all for a pleasant evening, and yes, I’m super happy. I have found my place as an activist, but moreover, though I didn’t initially want to be one, I know where this world is capable of heading, but it must go forward, not backwards.

Beth

Alternatives to Guardianship: Why It Doesn’t Work, And What We As A Community Can Do About It

Dear readers,

I was the victim and survivor of guardianship abuse as done to me by my own parents. I have been on two shows talking about this thing, this monster that is attacking our elderly and disabled people. Let me explain further why we need to discuss alternatives.

Rod, age 86, is an elderly man who once rode into Bike Week, but now he’s been diagnosed with Dementia. He needs lots of care, twenty-four-seven care, so that he doesn’t wander outside and do various weird and dangerous things to the outside world. Should Rod be guardianized?

Catherine, age 94, has been spilling the beans, gossiping about her own family to some people, wandering outside, forgetting where she is and what she’s doing,, forgetting the big picture. She needs twenty-four-seven care to make sure she has food cooked properly in her kitchen, coffee in her pot, and needs medications to control other physical symptoms. Should Catherine be guardianized?

These vignettes are not the only ones. Take out the names, replace them with younger disabled people and their names and symptoms, and think clearly. Guardianship, as defined by law, is supposed to be a working relationship between a person and their vulnerable family members. However, let’s try a different vignette for this exercise.

Britney, age 21, wants to raise her boys on her own without much help with the day to day things she needs done. She has been on drugs and has gotten a DUI. She was admitted to the hospital twice, was stripped of custody of her two sons, and later put in a conservatorship costing upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars a month. She has become an ATM machine for her father, ex husband, and sons. Should Britney continue in her guardianship conservatorship?

Think about these vignettes. Britney, now aged 36 or thereabouts, or even older, should not be guardianized. Neither should Catherine or Rod. What is the commonality between these vignettes? All of these people are potential victims of guardianship related abuse. Catherine’s daughter is the only thing she has to care for her, and because of the crappy healthcare system we all live with, she doesn’t have the circle of supports necessary to live in her home. However, should there really be talk of nursing homes, assisted living, or anything else? Catherine, a woman of color in her 90s, should not be in any way placed in assisted living or nursing care because of the disproportionate number of abuse cases and the restrictions on visits due to covid 19. Rod, on the other hand, has a circle of support he needs to stay within the boundaries of his being. Britney, as everybody should know, has had her wealth stolen from her, ruined and defiled. Guardianship could also kill someone. See the next paragraph for more.

There is a book called Guardianships and the Elderly: the Perfect Crime, written by Sam J. Sugar, who has been through this dance for years. However, no volumes are available that cover the #freebritney movement or the plight of young and disabled guardianship survivors and victims. What are the results of such a book? Many people are aware of this evil, and they know it attacks our elders and most vulnerable, but it also goes after the healthy and wealthy like Britney.

What can we as a community do to stop this monster from attacking our elders and disabled folks? Here are a few ways we can discuss alternatives.

Let’s take the first step. Who can care for your elderly parent while you’re at work? IF your son or daughter doesn’t live near enough to the elder parent or grandparent, you might want to arrange for a babysitter for elderly people, better known as a caregiver or nurse, to come in and help your disabled or elderly family relative. There are many resources you can use, including a person centered approach. For Rod, he and his elderly counterparts need care that includes memory and other sorts of support and drilling to make sure his brain is working properly. He will also need a place to relax, chosen by him, that allows visitors and doesn’t have a high abuse and turnover rate. Nursing homes have that problem. While there are many dedicated nurses and doctors out there, yes, I’m talking to you front line people, there are still many more people in nursing homes who steal from elderly patients and liquidate their assets. This must be curbed and put in check.

A medical power of attorney is a way to do medical decisions without taking away vital rights, including that of voting, marriage, and social affairs. Elders need to be able to socialize so when Catherine gets isolated, why not take her to a recreational facility for elders or an adult day center? She can do things at the place, eat, hang out, and talk to others in her situation. Easter Seals offers adult day center care for disabled and elderly people, and if she cannot be at home, your elderly grandma or mother could benefit from the dedicated people at Easter Seals. They also have done things for kids, but still check out the benefits of elder socialization, letting your elderly charge take the wheel and have friends, hang out with people, and give others the chance to live. Statistics show that isolation can lead to early death among dementia patients, elderly Alzheimer’s disease patients, and many other elders. Hats off to the Japanese women living together at 95 years of age, not going anywhere, and hanging out with other elders in Japan. Japan has some of the best eldercare options in the world, and the most centenarians registered there. The Japanese respect their elders, as do so many other Asian cultures. However, the Western European principle applies here in North America, dump your elders in a nursing home and forget about them. This is bad not only for the person who does it, but for the elderly person themselves.

Younger people in nursing homes also will face abuse. Let’s take Britney for example. She cannot use her wealth much, and her father has hijacked her assets, and she could end up in a group or nursing home at age 70 or so. Her father will have been dead by then, and Britney will have no supports except her sons, who are young and want to live their own lives. What we need here is a cultural shift in attitude about the elders and disabled people. Even the Japanese have deemed blindness a curse from the gods, but what’s odd and ironic is that they put Braille on soda cans and guide strips on all the concrete floors of subway stations. I wonder if there is a possible cultural liberation of blind and disabled people in Japan going on. Elders in Japan, like I said, get the best treatments and care. Family is always around and the elders are a source of wisdom.

We as a community must learn to treasure our elders, even if they do have dementia symptoms and Alzheimer’s Disease. One thing we must do for our elders is reminisce with them about growing up. For example, I worked in a nursing home surrounded by elderly and infirmed or vulnerable people. I was able to play songs they all loved, and I was in charge of playing a lot of songs. My piano skills were pushed to the limits, but these people loved music, and some of the Alzheimer’s patients were ballroom dancers, so if you took their hand, they’d dance with you. Glenn Campbell is a famous example of a musician with Alzheimer’s Disease who died recently a couple years back. Mr. Campbell was so incoherent at speaking and remembering things, but he had it all in his head how to play the guitar, and he still played his guitar even after he was almost to death’s door. Music has that power to heal and make people feel good. If there is such a thing in Denver, I’d recommend the Good Memories Choirs. It’s a bunch of elders who sing in a choir, mostly old songs of course, but it helps them remember things. Catherine, for example, grew up in a time when lots of swing and big band jazz was played. The Great Depression and the years after that were full of great music, but most younger people would be darned if they had to learn Come Josephine In My Flying Machine, In the Good Old Summertime, and many other old favorites. So many younger kids aren’t learning music, just singing that annoying Baby Shark song that gets into everybody’s heads. That isn’t appropriate for a few reasons: it’s too repetitive and it uses the same words, even sometimes children’s songs don’t use words these days. Another way to bring back the liveliness of a discussion with an elderly grandparent and or parent, try singing songs they remember. Helen, age 72, from Florida, for example, might hear a song she remembers hearing from church at a nursing home, and it lifts her spirits up. My great grandmother, who I never even met, had many hymns she remembered from her church days, but I played many other songs on the piano that would get these people singing, remembering, all that stuff. If not that, try cooking a popular dish from that period of time.

Leaving our elders isolated and alone is not the answer, but what if your elder is deemed crotchety and frankly negative? There are ways to combat negative energy I could focus on in another blog post, but here’s something to remember: it is frustrating to adjust to any change when you’re older, finding out you can’t even cook for yourself, finding that you burn things, do things differently, can’t remember your grandchild’s name. Put yourself in your elder’s shoes. Rose, who died at age 93, could not remember whether I could do my hair on my own. I called her my Mimi. She was the only relative I could truly be myself with, and I looked forrward to her $5 gifts every birthday, and she would say, “Get whatever you want with that money.” I’d save it for lunch, as $5 would not get you much monetary things to begin with, except for lunch at school. Rose Gravina was the only relative I ever thought would even answer me when I was alone, and I gave her that opportunity to be herself. We had many a fine day together, but I wish I had asked her questions about her married life, when she got married, and her life in the roaring twenties. The 1920s was pretty much the teenage years and beyond for Rose, and she did end up getting married and having children, like any other woman would be expected to do that in her day. My father had been devastated when she died, walking into my room the night before I was supposed to leave for university in Tallahassee. I ended up not being able to attend Rose’s funeral because of college, and she would have wanted me to continue playing the piano and going to college. I will talk about end of life things in another post as well.

So what if your younger disabled family member drives you nuts and you perceive them as unable to handle life itself? So whawt if you had the guardianship discussion with your spouse or partner, your other children, but did not include your family member? Stop what you are doing, and put the pen and paper down. guardianship is hard to get out of once you get in, and it’s like quicksand, always grabbing you and pulling you in. It’s like a magnet and superglue and many other things I could say things about. However, think about alternatives first. For all of the elders in the vignettes, it should be clear that medical decisions can be removed through a durable power of attorney but not guardianship. Guardianship is too extreme on all circumstances, even Britney Spears, whose vignette appears above. So what if you are not a fan of Britney? I can relate because her father took advantage of the poor woman, and how she gets out I don’t know if we’ll ever see that.

I’d like to dedicate this post here to all the victims and survivors of guardianship abuse. Please feel free to take these steps to heart when you are caring for an elder or a disabled person. If a disabled person is so developmentally disabled that talking and doing various things isn’t an option, still, think about medicine. Love your family members with no conditions attached. Give selflessly to others, and when you yourself are older, you can do what you need to in order to make sure your affairs are taken care of. Do not let the courts decide who your family or your relative’s family can see.

Beth

Dating as a Blind Person: Some Tips and Tricks In The Age of Social Distancing

Dear readers,

I have seen many posts and articles about dating as a disabled person, but the disabilities the articles mention are never sensory, including my own, blindness. When I looked at the article I recently saw in the microsoft News app about dating as a disabled person, it was written by a sighted guy or girl with neuromuscular disability. It did not include access to the picture based content that so many blind people are forced to deal with if they want to date online.

Katy, a blind professional, says that so many of the apps may be picture based. Rachel, another blind professional, may say that blindness is just a major turn off for some people when it comes to dating. I remember reading an article by the late Adrienne Asch where she basically said that with job interviews, people find ways of getting around hiring a blind people, but “potential dates go bananas” if they don’t know you’re blind. The finding out that a person is blind is a problem for so many people. Megan, who is also blind or visually impaired, says that she met her partner on okCupid, but not a lot of people can see or access the features on that site. Katy says she tried Tinder, okCupid, and some others have tried Plenty of Fish. I’ve even done the Craigslist Personals, but it never worked for me either. Famed author J. E. Pinto says she tried online dating, but the guys she came across were not safe. Given these comments, would you date online as a blind person? Well, here’s some tips and tricks for those unmatched who want to try the dating game.

Transportation needs. This is a hard one. Pinto says that anyone wanting to go on an online date should always meet their date first in public places. Yes, I agree with this, however, she also states, “use your own transportation.” Lyft and Uber aren’t always in small towns, and there are blind people in small towns. Blind people in small towns don’t always have access to supports that lend themselves to helping with transport. Titusville is an example of a small town in Florida that doesn’t have good transport.

Meeting in a public place. While the transport needs can be hard, it’s also hard to meet in a public spot that is closed. First and foremost, public areas to meet might vary, but make sure there are lights and people by that public area. For example, meet at a restaurant or place with people in it. Don’t meet in a park or remote area in a small village. Anything could occur there.

Screening for safety. Pinto says for safety reasons, she doesn’t want to try online dating again. She says a guy who was creepy tried to take advantage of her. This might happen more often to disabled women, so here are a few things to check on. Does the guy have a domestic assault charge on him? Has he been charged with felony battery? Anything with such charges is not worth dating. If he doesn’t openly tell you that he has molested children, for example, check on that. Google the man’s name if you find something off about him. Use your gut if you can, listen to your body language. If you’re a woman, listen hard to what your guts are telling you about a man you just met online. If the guy you met online is creepy, you will feel it and notice it in his body language and it will become more apparent. Sex offenders are off the list, and if you find that the guy has a hardship driver’s license and a DUI, that might tell you something about his responsibility and stuff. If you’re dating as a man, same applies. Women don’t always tell the truth either, and if someone lies about their past, you’ll know it. Google her name and phone number and see what criminal past pops up. For anyone who’s dating online, google the person who pops up in your radar, and see if the police will show you reports if you have an inkling about someone you’ve met online.

For LGBTQ peoples who want to date, there are lots of groups on Facebook for meeting such people, but the usual online ways like Grinder might not be accessible. Depending on your country, you might not get access du to laws regarding homosexual relationships. However, Grinder has made it a point to keep their clientele safe. If you are LGBTQI+ and want to try dating, or if you’re just now discovering yourself, feel free to connect to others who are in the same boat through a personal network. I’ll explain how I met my significant other in just a second. But a personal network is the best way to find a date for all people.

If you’re a blind person looking for a date, here’s the best way to do it. First, feel free to talk to others like yourself on email lists and Facebook, but in the email lists, you are not required to put up a picture or pay to chat. I have friends who met each other in groups for singles who are blind on Facebook. They met through a network of friends who were also blind, and that’s also how I knew the name of my significant other. I met Trenton on Twitter, but before then, his girl at the time, Stacey, had set us up sort of. She told me I should meet him, that he’s like right there in my backyard, etc. what she didn’t realize was that I’d find him in the end, and a little voice of reason told me this would be my husband. It was the best most electric feeling I’d ever had. Trenton and I hung out at a public area, but then we went to my house, watched Ellen, and then I sent him back east to his own home. Trenton is a sweet and loving guy, and we’ve been together for four years. I hope we have four hundred more, not that we have four hundred years, but you know what I mean.

The big thing about dating as a blind person that I took away from the experience was that not every person who is blind will respect your boundaries or not judge you for skill levels. Some blind men expect girls to cook and clean, and they want what they want, but that’s just my experience with some blind men. Other blind men just don’t get the word no as an answer. I guess the universe gave me a good guy and made it relatively easier than most. However, there were bumps in the road like any other couple had. I was removed from my church’s directory and told not to come back, was told that I was sinning by living with Trenton, and was not going to receive help and support. This church, Grace Community in Westminster, is not the best church I would say for blind or low vision people, and they are exclusive and believe we should be asexual. Dating a Christian would have been a bad idea. I found that even the Conservative guys want to enslave women these days, and I have to work through issues relating thereto as far as past breakups and other problems go. Trenton has been incredibly supportive of therapy, mental health screenings, and all that. Most men would not date a woman or anyone else for that matter with a mental illness. Most people have a mental illness issue, but for me, the issues are about abuse, being told that I could not, being pressed for time and energy to do certain things that don’t fly with me, and some of the time I felt like an unpaid maid or servant. I won’t stand for that mentality with guys, and requiring a woman to cook and clean and do chores around the house under duress is wrong, and that happened to me.

Marriage is work. Communication is key to a good relationship, they say. Sometimes Trenton is a bit slower at communicating than the average dude, but I know why. Sometimes I forget, but his communication is fine by me. If you have a successful online relationship, feel free to twitter about it, Facebook about it, but comments here are disabled due to trolls.

Thank you.

Beth