Why Spanking does not work: My Short Story

Dear Readers,

Because of the new guidelines of the American Academy of Pediatrics, I’m going to sum up why spanking does not work. I’l tell you this much. My mother not only used this and it became a gateway to more odious forms of abuse, but it became a sad excuse to incapacitate me and guardianize. It is a heinous act to abuse a child, but let me give you my story and the stories of others like me.

So I started life in Florida, a state rife with corporal punishment. My parents at first would slap me for doing wrong, slap me or make me hit myself. I told my friends about it years later, but it is because of these awful forms of corporal abuse that my parents resorted to doing other forms of emotional and mental abuse and punishments, but the lesson was that only adults can make decisions, but as a disabled woman, even more so, able men.

To name one such example, my mother severely abused and tortured me for flooding the bathroom, and my dad threatened to have me take baths as though I were a baby. They did not use more empowering and choice based forms of teaching, only punishment. As a result, I had an unplugged radio in my room for four long weeks, and worse, I’ve been denied listening to music as if it were a privilege. What my parents were really saying was, “We are adults without disabilities and you have to trust us or get fucked.” That was the underlying message, and this is why I am estranged, spend time in therapy, and have a hard time making friends.

The next thing I want to make clear is the figures and facts. emales with disabilities are subjected to twice the risk of corporal, sexual, emotional, and mental abuse. My punishments were consistently longer than those of my brothers’, and this is cause for concern. My parents could have resorted to rape, violence, or murder as forms of punishment, as this did indeed happen to Kelly Bond, a young lady from Tennessee, whose mother and father overdosed her medication to induce her death. Kelly was a vulnerable female with a disability, was not treated well, and was punished too much more. It is the obvious solution to remove Kelly from the home before this could have happened. She was an at risk adult, life insurance having been bought on her. If I returned to Titusville, what would my own family do? They would have probably made me shut down this blog, or risk dying a violent or painful death because dare I say this, they don’t wnt their methods exposed. But again, this is my purpose. My parents ended their abuse and reign of terror when I moved out, something I had to do to protect my dignity and my life. It is no small wonder that now, Medicaid has to pay upwards of thousand of dollars a month to service me in therapy and with psychological medications. Dr. or Mr. John McCarthy was probably right in suggesting my parents go and see a therapist themselves. They can’t cope with their daughter’s desires, want for children, and so on. When will I ever be able to advocate for my own children to live better lives than me? My fiance says I may have to wait till the age of forty to conceive, but this brings with it its own set of risks. The over 40 crowd faces a chance that their children are born with intellectual disability, which puts the power in the hands of the able most of the time. I would have to work extremely hard to empower the intellectually disabled child to speak up and tell their care persons that they do not want certain things to happen. I would hav to care for an at risk adult if my child was conceived while I as forty, and the biology of it all is a problem. How can I prove that I can and will have healthy kids? These questions I have to consider in therapy.

It would be even more expensive for Medicaid to pay or the care of a Down’s Syndrome child, who may die at age 30 or below that much. I want my child to live to eighty or longer, and it is up to biology to test this limit. But spending time with a therapist and a doctor will only make it worse.

As a mother, I want to not hit my children. Why? Look at me. I’m having to do couples therapy, solo therapy, and all the medications per month I must take. My fiance has withheld some forms of affection at times, and I get extremely angry at him. There are times I want to show him exactly what my own mother did, give him a taste of toxicity or the corporal punishment I was subjected to. And in therapy, I have to learn to communicate with others in a more productive and effective manner. Spanking is not effective discipline, period. It i a gateway to rape, violence, and aggression and male privilege. Listen to a therapist’s session with a patient and you’ll understand.

There are times I wish my own parents would receive harsh penalties for having guardianship, but it is highly doubtful that they will ever mess around with my life after I give them a sworn ultimatum. They must relinquish and restore my rights to me, get rid of their incapacitation document, burn it, whatever, or they will not see their grandchild, know its name, or see it for Thanksgiving and Christmas. If they want me, they must, if anything, allow Trenton to come. We’re not waiting for children or marriage because I’m old, time’s ticking, and at forty, my child could be intellectually impaired, unable to function without twenty-four-hour care from either myself or a carer that is qualified, most aren’t, to care for those with such disabilities. I don’t think intellectual impairment is necessarily a bad thing, but look at Jenny (Marguerite Jeanne) Hatch, who was denied her rights because of intellectual impairment. Jenny was punished frequently in a group home, then sued her family and got freedom. For whatever reason, the National Fedration of the Blind refuses to help me deal with this guardianship mess, being that there is no real chapter activity in revard County. Spanking and abuse, and the subsequent guardianship, damaged all possibility that I will ever get out of depression and anger. ANd as an adult, I can write down my feelings in a journal, and though this is online, I feel a lot better about speaking out against spanking because beleve me, it will not work for autistics, females and disabled people. My story is not unique, it is a typical story of post-Columbian disability philosophy. Disability in Europe is thought of as a burden to society, and all disabled persons conquered by th Conquistadores in Spain were subject to abuses committed by these folks. FAmilies with disabled women would simply put them away, guardianize them, and abuse them accordingly. Disabled people deserve the best treatment by their own families and caregivers in the Western and Eastern world alike. But there is one thing standing in between progress and the current status quo: spanking. Thankfully, in modern Europe, spanking is outlawed in communities in Sweden and some Scandinavian countries like Norway. In fact, Norway’s criminal rehabilitative system puts the U.S. to utter shame. Norwegians who commit crimes are rehabilitated, especially if the crimes involve something petty like theft, larseny, etc. I don’t know what they do to rapists exactly. But the big thing in Norway and other places like it is this: when kid learn that might doesn’t get them their way, they learn that they must communicate effectively with others, can’t use aggression, etc. Consider also that some biological factors play into evolving forms of communication with a species.

Primates, for instance, have their own basic form of politics. However, some chimps are aggressive. However, as scientists have seen, chimps who have friends do better in their groups than the ones who show aggression and rip ears off the groupmates. Friendships among all the primate order matters, including that of humans. And this means effective communication, not aggression, is the only way to do what’s right. Humans have somethig the apes and chimps don’t, language and vocal syllabic communication, which is a great thing. Why smack your offspring when you can talk to them? Carrie Goldman has lots of ideas on how to deal with problem behaviors in children, especially adopted ones. Her book Bullied is amazing, and it is available on Bard for all of us on the NLS program. Carrie writes for many news sources, parentiing columns, etc. Her methods are much more empowering and get the message across. For instance, your adopted daughter stole three quarters of a supply of cupcakes. Instead of labeling her a liar nd a thief, bring up the fact that you noticed that some cupcakes were gone and they were needed for a class party. In her example, Mrs. Goldman writes that you should suggest things to rectify it instead of using labels, abuse, and yes, spanking. There are many other ways to rectify a problem, and had I known this, I would have outright said, “Do not hit me. Your reasoning is off.” But you can’t reason with evil.

Why should spanking be banned?

1. Because it promotes the might makes right mentality.

2. Because it’s a gateway to other forms of abuse.

3. Because it will traumatize disabled kids, especially neurologically atypical ones. It damages people. For example, they don’t learn effective coping and communication skills, and a therapist must be hired to rectify years of this issue.

Hitting a child or a person who is disabled or smaller than you promotes ableistic viewpoints, puts the strong above all else, and allows able males to get all they want in life. So what is the moral of all this? Don’t spank your child. The pediatricians are correct. Spanking does not fix behavioral issues. It only makes them worse or then costs society more to counsel victims of this form of abuse.

Beth

Which Grinch is more of a Grinch?

Dear REaders,

High up in the mountains north of a tiny village called Whoville, there lives the Grinch, someone who likes to steal things, particularly Christmas. Jim Kerry has played this mean green guy, but the trailer for the latest movie didn’t impress me at all for whatever reason. The Grinch in the latest movie doesn’t seem to be as interactive with the Whos of WHoville as much as Jim Kerry. None could top Taylor Mobson as Cindy Lou Who, the tiny girl who wonders why the Grinch steals the tree.

So what makes Grinch movies good? Well, the Jim Kerry Grinch movie is awesome because Dr. Seuss’s classic rhythm and rhyme is embedded into the narration, though not exactly what the book or the cartoon special would expect to have done.

Though the movie does throw in as much of the cartoon’s special’s poetic rhythm and its lines, most of the movie itself is amazingly interactive while we are staring intently as the Grinch looks back at us and shows that his heart is, and I quote, “two sizes too small.” I personally thought Jim Kerry’s Grinch was the best because Jim Kerry has had experience with dumb gags, bad jokes, comedy beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. The gags in his Grinch character are amazingly on par. But the new Grinch movie? Why oh why did Danny Elfman do the music for this one, too? I better decide if we should at least give this one a chance.

The trailer just didn’t rub me the right way, but then again, thou shalt not judge a movie or book by its trailer or cover. No way. So it’s hard to say if someone beat Kerry to the podium or the award for Best Grinch Ever!!!!!

Now, for you WHovillians who think the Grinch should not be way scarier than before, unfortunately, I heard something about the widow of Dr. Seuss not wanting movies done on her late husband’s books. Books, especially those by Dr. Seuss, should be revered as the best children’s books ever!!!!!

But here’s the deal: if you’re going to watch the new Grinch movie, at least give it a try. And compare it to Kerry’s Grinch fairly. I mean, try and be fair with contrasting and comparing. Jim Kerry’s movie portfolio is a lot longer than the other guy in this new movie trailer, but I’ll see what we could try.

Are Sabrina’s Adventures Chilling?

Dear Readers,

For those of you Netflix fans, this is your entry. I was watching the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, which is based on the comic books called Sabrina the Teenage Witch if I’m not mistaken. There was an animated series, and then a sitcom style show. I caught a friend listening to the old stuff on Hulu, but let’s get to the meat and potatoes before anyone asks questions.

The chilling and dark comic of Sabrina begins with her having to choose between the path of the Dark Lord and the path of mortality. However, secrets are revealed, and Sabrina gets scared of what she sees and goes through many adventures at Baxter High school and beyond, along with her not so talking cat Salem. In the sitcom, as many 90s kids will remember, Salem had a voice actor that talked, but not in this Netflix original.

There are some things I’d like to point at which Wiccans, or modern witches, will find interesting. For one, this adventure perpetuates the stereotype that witches worship a “Dark Lord” or “Satan”, which in ancient religious texts, is only what I call real tomfoolery. Witches worship the Lady and a Lord, but the Lord has horns, but he is not the Devil. Satan is, by actuality, a twelve-winged fallen angel who became an outcast. Lucifer himself is considered Evil, and Christians and other Peoples of the Book condemn the worship of the Lord and Lady as satanic because they believe in only one male god, a patriarchy and rules that forbid worship of the Goddess, and so on and so forth. No real Wiccan initiations include a blood bath either as you will notice in Sabrina’s “dark Baptism.” And there is no witches’ court. Another thing. Warlocks are not witches in Wicca culture as I’ve seen. Male witches are witches or you could say wizard, but witches are witches no matter what gender, period. For those who want to know, a witch’s grimoire, or book of shadows, does not contain a huge book of signatures. There is no need to sign a “book of the Beast”, but rather, Wiccans make offerings to the Lord and Lady at rituals. Nobody is supposed to be angry at rituals either as you’ll see that some of the witches are angry at rituals such as a courtroom trial. Also, another clarification on the warlock term. It means a betrayer, not a male witch at all. As I’ve stated before, Wiccans don’t use the term “warlock” to describe their male counterparts.

Would I recommend Sabrina to anyone who wants to watch it? Compared to the sitcom, it doesn’t seem all that funny. So if you love a bit of dark comic relief, I’d watch this with caution. This adventurous series is rated TV14, so the little ones will have to stay away unless they’re teenagers. But I do think this could be a rather teaching moment to talk about the Goddess, Wicca, and the true nature of witchcraft. It is not devil worship. What is dangerous is when you start getting into ouija boards and such, which my friends have all told me not to mess with. I don’t necessarily think those are fun to play with either, and upon request I will share a video about ouija boards with 25 scary facts about those.

Sabrina doesn’t do that kind of thing with ouija boards, but her agenda seems brazen to her fellow witches. Sabrina’s heart is in the right place, but her aunts are kind of weird in their magic. In any case, I believe that if you want to see witchcraft for what it truly is, you should read a real grimoire, or indeed the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Witchcraft and Wicca which is written by two witches themselves. Learn the history of what happens when the monotheists took over Europe and the Americas. Worship of the goddess was punishable by death. This is why so many years later, nobody seems to want to grasp the truth about witches and their craft.

As for this Netflix series, I’d give it about a 3.8 because of a few things.

1. The perpetual inaccuracies about Wicca and witchcraft as stated above are paramount.

2. Salem does not speak. He’s a cat, but still, I thought him speaking was way funnier in the Sitcom.

3. The Spelman aunts work in a mortuary, and there’s loads of blood and weird creatures not seen in prior iterations of the show.

4. Sabrina’s initiation into this perpetually dark version into witchcraft is rife with inaccuracy and human gore, and not every witch practices with what you’d call a coven group of witches.

Other than a review of the chilling adventures regarding Sabrina the teenage witch, there are other Halloween haunts you can check out as well on Netflix. Christmas is around the corner, so I will write what’s up then.

Thank you all for putting up with this tough review.

Beth

News – “Uber Plans To Launch Food-Delivery Drones”

Dear Readers,

I’ve heard rumors that drones would soon be delivering food to us, but how on Earth would I do this sort of thing in a ten story highrise or worse, a thirteen story highrise? Read this and let me know what you guys think.

Beth

News – “Uber Plans To Launch Food-Delivery Drones”

https://justgrubbin.com/2018/10/25/news-uber-plans-to-launch-food-delivery-drones/
— Read on justgrubbin.com/2018/10/25/news-uber-plans-to-launch-food-delivery-drones/

Scottish Doctors will be able to prescribe medicinal cannabis to patients from NEXT MONTH from 1 November 2018

The following is a shared post from a brilliant Scottsman who found this information, and I’m super happy because I have friends who might need medicinals later on.

Scottish Doctors will be able to prescribe medicinal cannabis to patients from NEXT MONTH from 1 November 2018

Scottish Doctors will be able to prescribe medicinal cannabis to patients from NEXT MONTH from 1 November 2018
— Read on shaunynews.com/2018/10/13/scottish-doctors-will-be-able-to-prescribe-medicinal-cannabis-to-patients-from-next-month-from-1-november-2018/

Dear Girls

Dear Girls,

I’m writing you all this letter because, well, it was International Day of the Girl child. I want to give you some … well, women’s wisdom. There are many things you will encounter in life, life as it happens, and you can dream of any future you want.

First, to the little ones, when you grow up, your body will change, boys will tease or perhaps try to win your affections, and stop you from dreaming, but here’s my tip for you all: quit playing too much with Barbie dolls. Try Lego blocks instead. Legos allowed someone to build a Braille embosser, a type of printer that prints the dot code that blind people read. You could play with Barbie if you want to be a fashion designer, but remember, you are building the future we will all live in, so don’t worry about clothes, boys, and jewelry. Pick up your Legos, then get out your big girl power tools and go build something. You could make a robot or design a piece of furniture. Build your houses! Build the earth and its villages!

If you’re not that great at building things, I see no problem in decorating. You could decorate people’s parties, weddings, etc.

And speaking of weddings, to the big girls, the teenagers, don’t get married at a young age, even if your mom says so. It’s not good for you to marry until you are eighteen, no exceptions whatsoever. The AHA Foundation and other nonprofits are working together to end child marriage in the U.S., which ruins lives every year. So if you want to build the future, put aside your wedding plans until you are an adult, and if the partner, male or female, is what you desire. To the ones just starting to explore the wonders of womanhood, don’t be ashamed to tell your teachers that you’re on your period, or as my fiancé jokingly calls them, comas. Every time I say something about it, a joke is mutually shared. Don’t be frightened, the cramps from Hell will soon pass. Don’t be afraid to down a little Midol if you need to.

And to girls in India and Africa who are ashamed of menstruation and can’t go to school, keep going to school, and fight hard for your education. Why? Because it matters, and books matter. So read good books too. Put don the juicy Fifty Shades novels, and pick up some good ones, like the Giver, or the entire Giver series. Maybe the Dragonriders of Pern series will tickle your fancy. Read about Lessa, the badass weyrwoman who defied all the guys on Pern and said, “I’m out of this being the lone queen, and I’ll go wherever I want.” Read about other badass females like Keladry of Mindelan who wants to be a knight, and she became the Protector of the Small. Read about Bekah Cooper, the police lady in the same place as Keladry, but she worked right there in Corus, Tortall, a world created in the mind of, you guessed it, a female author. There are plenty of ladies who defied men and got lots of points for doing it. I think Lessa deserves a few brownie points for at least changing things on Pern. Oh, and should I add Menoly? The dragonsinger? She defied her parents and hold mates and became a singer, a female harper. That makes things so much better when women speak up, do what they want, do as they please. When men rule the world, all they’ve got is bloodshed, war, fights, and then they want to jack off on girls that don’t like them. Oops.

If anything, girls, you are like the daughter I never may have. So make me proud, stand up, and be as badass as you want to e.

Thank you all.

Love,

Beth

Because of Brent Cavanaugh

Dear Readers,

Abortion by force, sterilization, and murder. Think about those three things for a moment. Those things happened in Germany. In the 1930s and 1940s. I have read countless disability rights memos regarding the treatment of such persons in the decades I mentioned. Unfortunately, because of Brent Cavanaugh and Donald Trump, we are on our way to becoming the second Nazi sympathizing, white Supremacist America we dread. As a blind woman, the risk of sexual assault, rape, or murder could go up dramatically for me and countless others. Autistics could be classified so they would have to die because according to one quote from the Donald, “America is a business, not a charity.” Is this the America we want? Refugees with disabilities came here so much, but the Donald wants to ban disabled refugees. He wants to ban Muslims, Syrians, different countries and vet like crazy. He called African immigrants people from “shithole countries.” Is that acceptable? People from Norway would accept these same Africans as their own, so would the Dutch. And they’d accept blind people.

Honestly, what’s sickening is that Brent used disabled kids to make himself look like a saint. You know what? Nobody’s a saint. Not even I am a saint, but at least I don’t go around praising dictators, raping girls, and calling Africans and their countries “shithole.” Trump must be voted out of office, and so should the white male elite. Why? Because if this strikes you as weird, I want to live.

I want to live with my fiancé, my husband that is, and have kids with him, and my fiancé, or should I say husband to be, is black. His ancestors came from the very countries that are pronounced with an expletive by a man who doesn’t know how to run a country. My ancestors might have also come from those countries too. So think about it. I want to live.

I want to breed, live and breathe free so my kids don’t necessarily have to sing a national anthem composed by a planter or plantation owner, so that my children don’t have to say the pledge of allegiance because this country’s gone to the dogs, and I want my children to have an opinion. I won’t be living in a red state like Texas, which chose to remove Helen Keller and Hilary Clinton, two prominent women, from the social studies curriculum. Texas also backed the expulsion of a black student who didn’t stand for the pledge. No, I won’t be reciting a pledge of loyalty to a regime at this time. I want a country where if you like who’s there in the White House, then you can do what you feel. This country reminds me of a place in the book Messenger by Lois Lowry. It’s like a village of the broken, one where all the people tossed out of one community were taken in and given the skills they needed to survive, but in Kira’s village, the handicapped and the weak are shunned, women are banned from reading and writing, and those with gifts are exploited by the Council of Guardians. Ugh. The United States is certainly reenacting the book’s close to ending part, the part where the people don’t want outsiders, the part where the guy sits there and lusts over a lady, the part where the thorns of the forest go up around the village border, and the only way to save the village is for Matt or Mattie to, spoiler alert, die in the process of healing the village. Only then does the village realize its duty to the world at large. Then, you must read Son, which is about Claire, a birthmother who gave birth to a boy previously mentioned in the Giver itself. The United States certainly could become what my middle school English teacher calls “Hitleresque.” Such a very awful thing could happen to us if we don’t realize what the founding fathers were after.

The Framers of the Constitution and other revolutionaries listed in history envisioned a country where religion was not forced, where freedom of speech and the press were valued, and where the tired and poor could come and live no matter what. We struggled, of course, to end slavery on plantations in the South, but even with zero places legalizing slavery, we are now showing no sympathy for the survivors of human trafficking as it is. Donald Trump doesn’t want Braille on the elevators on his tower hotels, yet the weird thing was that a doorman opened a door for me so I could walk through with a guide. Trump obviously doesn’t care that girls are not objects to be played with, or so we think. If anything, Donald Trump would like an all white nation with all the rights held by men, not women.

Guess who was ranked as the most trusted world leader according to the Pew Research Center? Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, a lady. So why not us? Why don’t we have Elizabeth Warren run for office? And put an end to all this nonsense?

As a disabled woman, I know the importance of the first amendment, and I have the right to write what I’m writing because it is so in the First Amendment. As a disabled woman, I have had sexual jokes told about me both on Skype and here on WordPress. I will not allow such jokes to be told again because I’m no sex object. Disabled women are frequently devalued and their babies are stolen from them. Might as well admit this: we’re on the way to becoming what Angela Merkel’s Germany used to be. Remember this Uncle Ben phrase from spider Man 2001 or so, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Obviously, the Donald has great power, but no responsibility. Let’s show him this at the polls in a month so that this Big Don falls out of favor with us.