Britney’s Freedom is My Freedom

Dear Britney spears,

I feel so much for you it isn’t funny. When you revealed you had an IUD put in to prevent you from getting pregnant, I almost died inside. While my birth control pills are a choice, there is a problematic thing about doing IUD or Nexplanon, and this is what it boils down to. Putting things in your body that are implanted is rather invasive, and an IUD can break and you could die. I’m scared for you because of Amy winehouse, the gal behind Rehab, and I love that song. truth is that she committed suicide by alcohol because her stupid father had a conservatorship similar in scope to your own. Britney, I hope you will hear me out.

I was seventeen when my parents declared me unfit to manage my own affairs, got guardianship, and put me away when I tried to have relationships. There’s a girl in Orlando going through the same thing. guardianship and conservatorship is sexist, ableist, and so much bullshit I know what you want when I hear you say it’s abusive. It is, believe me, you don’t want to know what my parents think of me now that I forced them to discharge the guardianship. I had threatened in emails to have them in a restraining order so they couldn’t contact me because guardianships like theirs are cruel and unusual, and the ones who think guardianship is good for. me are usually stupid evil white men. I received a rather trolling comment, hence why you don’t see a comment field in this blog, from a Wes Derby who ultimately said, “Florida was correct in giving your parents guardianship.” I felt so insulted I had to black out all comments, and it wasn’t just Wes’s, it was everybody. He ruined the comment thing for everybody. And it’s not that I don’t want you to comment, Britney, but you can always email me and we can talk. Britney, I know you have a fortune you can’t access, but you have me. I’m against all forms of adult guardianship for all people, and it’s because the system is set up to benefit the bad guys, the parents and professionals, the people who think it’s rather funny when I don’t succeed in life itself. Britney, you have a lot of blessings amid this. You have your sons, you have a fortune worth millions of dollars I’ll never obtain. And because I was called a moron by so many people, I had to shut down the comment discussion here on this blog. If you really want to, write me on FB or Twitter. I’m on Instagram, but I don’t usually put pics up. Britney, you don’t have to worry about suing your family for violating your civil rights. I do. Because I want to have a little Beth or a little Trenton and I will not have any other kids. Siblings will force me to favor one child or another child, so I will not have siblings. My own siblings were favored, my brother that is. And they made very rude comments about me when I was in mental health rehab. I had no drugs, no substance use history, so you know what? There should have been no damn excuse for parents like my own to have a sexist ableist cruel and unusual hold on my whole damn life. They should have let go, and they didn’t for fifteen years. They are ableist, cruel and racist. When. I mention critical race theory, my dad says, oh it won’t affect you. Wrong, it will affect his granddaughter or grandson. I will of course have to keep an eye on my parents, we will have to reconcile somehow, but I can’t do a full reconciliation because that would put my kid in danger. IF it is a female child, I will have to carefully pick who she hangs out with while she’s between one and six, but beyond age six, she needs to have a moral compass. Britney, I will parent my own child better than my mom did. I will not leave her unattended, in a cradle crying, or in a dark room because she did something or other. Britney, I will not let my child be traumatized in the first six years of her life, for those years are the foundation on which she will grow. For another thing, I will teach my kid to be respectful around law enforcement, maybe even connect with law enforcement so they will know my family. My future child will likely be biracial, which means critical race theory does indeed affect her. IF she doesn’t learn about slavery and discrimination and sexism, she will be ignorant and unable to decipher how to make the world a better place.

Let’s just say that the way things are, blind people will not show up at a baby shower for me. So britney, let me promise you this. IF you have a third kid, do send me an invite to your baby shower. We could do a virtual one, and I could buy you something nice, maybe I’d buy you a cradle for that baby. But moreover, I’ll sing you one of those lullabies you forgot over the years. Hush-a-by baby, don’t say a word. Remember that one? the one where you say you’ll buy that kid a mockingbird? I’ll definitely have that in my repertoire. then there’s Bye Baby Bunting, daddy’s gone a-hunting. Just anything you could think of, lullabies are everywhere and you must sing them to that little boy or girl when it arrives. Why? Because babies love it. Yeah, and when baby gets sick, you’ll at least know how to detect fevers in your baby. Doesn’t every mom touch baby’s face? Duh, and I being blind need to do a serious checkup and get me a talking ear thermometer. My partner Trenton and I are always debating what will come down and what won’t. We have to upgrade tech first, but I said to him I insist on having a baby before I turn forty. Forty!!!!!! So yeah.

Britney, I can’t wait to see the baby pics when you have a new baby with Sam, and I want you to, so get that stupid IUD out of your uterus and get going. Like what the hell are you waiting for? And you can bet your bottom dollar that when I have my own baby, I will show you a pic of her, all new and slimy or all new and smelling like roses. Haha. Babies don’t usually smell like roses anyway.

Good luck ending your conservatorship.

Beth

Loving Day: what It Means to Me

Dear readers,

Imagine you couldn’t marry the person you loved because the person you loved was a different skin color. That was the reality of the Lovings, Mildred and Richard. About yesterday, it was Loving Day, a day that celebrates something Richard and Mildred dared to do. They were each raised in a very inclusive community. Mildred was one color, Richard the other. but it didn’t matter to Mildred’s brother Otha. Otha was the one who set Mildred up with Richard, they’d been friends in school. Isn’t that how it all works? they secretly married because of a last vestige of segregation in their home state, and it was horrible. They were affected by racial purity and what they call antimiscegenation laws that prohibited interracial marriage. This couple went above the heads of the authorities, pursued justice for each other and their children, and they ultimately won the fight for all interracial couples such as myself and Trenton.

what does Loving Day have to do with me as a person? Personally, I find black people are the strongest and best examples of really resourceful people on the planet. I’m ashamed to say that white people try every day to steal the inventiveness away from black folk. Let’s say that the blacks invented a lot of things, including traffic lights, ice cream, a refrigerator, if I’m not mistaken. Black people find ways to make stuff work, but white people just sit around and say they’re smarter when all they seem to be able to do in history is plunder, stalk, and conquer, moreover kill everybody and sit there and make everybody bow down to them, and subjugate. It’s a pattern much like the Elvenbane’s elves. Thanks, Mercedes Lackey.

Why did I just write this though? Trenton is a resourceful sort, just like half the human race. Now I’m not saying all black men are the same way, but the air I get from the black men and women and others alike is that they’re highly intelligent, and no, not servile at all. I can’t stand it when someone says a black man is a servant, a black woman should work as a maid, etc etc. That makes me wanna vomit, because my mother in law is no hotel maid, she worked for years doing computer work. Now that’s brilliant. There is so much untapped talent in both the blind and black communities, but I digress.

As a woman who is ashamed to have been raised in a whitewashed piece of crap family, I don’t even want to entertain the idea of having to put on that Martha apron and cook for some evil or rather dastardly white guy. My mom would slave away at the kitchen every day, my dad would watch football. He rarely cooked, except for a goddamn single dish and it was usually either that or grilled somethings. typical simtcom family you might think, but my birthday was usually too small, life wasn’t affirmed much after the age of twenty, and even when I passed the age of 21 I did not get much, even if I did, it was too small. I never had friends except for the extreme evangelical idiots that populated Titusville, mostly white people, and here I was thinking about marrying a black man. I refuse to put on that stupid Martha apron and go to work in the kitchen, and moreover, it would dishonor all I fought for if I was popping out more than five kids. Ugh. Some evangelical christians in Titusville have this propensity to have too many kids, whether one or three or even six. The biggest family I know is a religious fundamentalist family we all know, and their eldest son Josh committed some dire crimes. He’s white.

So if Loving hadn’t been handed down, I would have been lonely. Trenton is black, and a justice of the Supreme Court would have made hateful statements about blacks, but that wasn’t the case. Honestly, I love Trenton to death. He has his imperfections like everybody else. In two days, we will celebrate Juneteenth, and we’ll have a drum duet, duh. Juneteenth celebrates the end of slavery, and I can tell you slavery would have affected all of us, not just blacks and whites. I’m sorry, but if anyone believes in slavery, that is the wrongest thing in the world. there are still slaves in the world, although not the american slaves, not sanctioned at least. If you take a trip through Atlanta Airport, you’l probably see slaves being shipped and transported, and you won’t even notice. Human trafficking as they now call it is so rampant in poorer communities, and we need to know what causes it. More to come.

Beth