Alternative Jobs for the My Pillow Guy

Dear readers,

Ever wonder if you’ll be happy with MyPillow Guy and his stupid infomercials? ARe you tired of his raving mad conspiracy crap? Well, I kinda thought about this and want alternative jobs for this dude. Here they are:

1. It started with a joke. My partner has a habit of stealing my actual bed pillow at night. So I humorously said, “If I catch you stealing my bed pillow, you will have to put the MyPillowGuy up for $5.” In other words, the first alternative job for the MyPillow guy would probably be a male sex worker. Simple, right? Well, at least he’d be shipped off to a different spot on the map and wouldn’t do anything there but hang around the red flag districts in a place like Amsterdam and go to strip clubs where women frequent. He’d have fun giving lap dances to ordinary gals, but as a sex worker, he’d be like, oh, okay. He’d go for whatever price he could put on his own self, and he’d be contributing to Europe’s economy, some other place’s economy and not selling fake pillows.

2. Well, if this guy didn’t like the shipping out thing, maybe he should try male private freelance stripper. He’d be able to entertain the top elites in their hotel rooms, go to strip clubs, bling himself out, and maybe not sell fake pillows.

3. If MyPillowGuy doesn’t like stripping or sex work, maybe he could try waitering at a restaurant, maybe a place like … um, okay, not Hooter’s. But not Twin Peaks either. I’d put him in someplace like Denny’s or something. Or make him a busboy. He’d have to carry drinks and food to customers, and yes, not sell fake ass pillows.

4. What if he really didn’t like the jobs listed above? MyPillow Guy might want to consider dog food taste tester. It makes good money and you get to make sure it doesn’t kill you off or make the dog sick. And he’d be telling plenty of stories about the nasty tastes of dog food to his colleagues at one of the other alternatives listed above, or to his wife and children around the dinner table. No fake pillows needed.

5. Perhaps he should try donating plasma. MyPillow Guy might enjoy the poking and prodding in his skin, or not. But does anyone know how important blood and plasma sales or donations are? A pint saves quite a few lives. And he doesn’t get to rave on about his pillow crap either.

6. Maybe he should just be a paparazzo and harass celebrities if that’s what could put him to a close but sticky jail sentence, depending on what pics he takes. paparazzi are paid to harass and take pictures of people, and maybe he could take the pics of people wearing his fake pillows around town, and you’ll be darned to see Norwood College nannies doing the defensive driving of their celebrity kids around so that people would really be like, that’s no guy in the Paparazzi at al. That’s the MyPillow Guy. …” The people would proceed to yell out that his pillows are just pillows, nothing special.

6. Idk what you all think, but most of the weirdos who commit crimes are hired as sewage workers or janitors. Perhaps this MyPillow king could sit down and get dirty for a living. Maybe he should be a janitor or house man maid, so he would clean up rich people’s dirty poopy crap and have to unclog pipes like a plumber, but not go super into that. Maybe a handy dude as long as he finishes the damn job and doesn’t promote his fake pillows.

7. IF he could sing, maybe he’d be charged to sing the national anthem at ballgames, but I would go a step further. MyPillow Guy would be required to sing the Black national anthem, Lift Up Your Voice and Sing. Maybe we’d have him sing that while his fake pillows are being unstuffed right in front of him. I’d torture him by making him sing that song twelve times. Okay, moving on.

8. Maybe he could be a construction worker, a builder, building affordable houses for the poor. He would not be allowed to put his pillow crap in those houses though.

9. IF not, just make him contribute to a soup kitchen, one that accepts sexual minorities. He’d be required to put all his soups there, and all the people would say, oh, is MyPillow Guy doing something productive for a change? He donated the shrimp stew his wife made to us. Yes, I’d be clapping hands for this one. And he’d not be allowed to promote his pillows too.

10. IF there’s one thing I wish for MyPillow Guy, it’s that he understand the meaning of life. HE needs to consider if not anything else being a philosophy professor, be forced to research liberality and topics he doesn’t like, and maybe he’d be waking up and changing his name from Michael Lindel to something else. He’d be all, “I don’t like you, Trump.” He’d be going, “Oh, dearest Judge Judy, I want to change my name to John fogerty or James McMichael and I’m not the MyPillow Guy anymore.” Perhaps when he sees the dead people who die because of his conspiracy theories, the deaths due to hate crime laws that Trump doesn’t or didn’t care about, the people being disrespected at Valor Christian School, and he hears the kids cry, well, the answer would be in a song I love so much. Blowin’ in the Wind. Bob Dylan, back me up.

IF anyone wants to tell me how many times must a man cry himself before he notices he is doing such, the many times bullets hit the streets, if MyPillow Guy had any good in his heart, he’d stop doing this crap he’s pulling on the world, and maybe he’d join Bob Dylan on the stage, singing a song that asks and answers many questions, that brings attention to the sad state of our human race. Mr. Dylan, I love you profusely because your music is so awesome. You bring attention to everything, you are a songster. Could you do me a favor and teach this My Pillow trash talker how to be a hippy? I transformed from a Conservative Christian into a life affirming liberal, and I hid all the liberality, but maybe the whole time I was in Colorado, I was and stil am a liberal thinking but Conservative dressing unlady who is so unladylike she doesn’t need to hold a flip you off sign that says, patriarchy get out. Truthfully, I don’t hate people, and I’d be glad to invite MyPillow Guy to become a UU in my church, and get rid of his fake pillow ads for good.

Have a happy holiday season, and I won’t be endorsing or listing Mike Lindel’s crap on this blog, so stay tuned for a gift guide soon.

Beth

#BritneyIsFree

Dear readers,

I knew this moment and day would come. Britney Spears, a wealthy pop star, is free. But honestly, there are many others who aren’t free. It is a real human rights issue, and let me explain why.

1. The victims of conservators and guardians all over the country are silenced by threats of overmedication, liquidation, and lack of visitation.

2. The victims are indeed if not threatened with overmedication, liquidation, and no visitation, they are also threatened with cremation upon death or a DNR or kidnapping by the professional for profit guardian. Rebecca Firrel from Orlando is a good example. Tracy Hudson is another. Both have resigned, but Tracy is now on trial for stealing and embezzling funds from elderly clients. This includes Tampa Bay Buccaneer football game tickets she purchased because she stole some lady’s money. Tracy also managed to ruin many people’s lives. Many activists I work with know of her crimes, and she’s just not owning up.

3. Even if a victim is freed, there are issues people have, including some who like to cyberbully a guardianship survivor. Britney Spears is lucky people carry banners for her, and they fight for her freedom. But I had to scream, shout, and let it all out as Britney would say in one of her songs she does with Will I Am, rapper from the Black Eyed Peas. I had to go through lawyers, some trying to charge me money I don’t have. My parents realized they’d be no use as guardians, had to get rid of this guardianship also because they are beginning to think maybee they did something terrible. Well, here’s another thing. My parents don’t realize I am now the target of every joke in the blind community, and the guy who threatened slander charges on this blog has recently committed crimes of his own, probably because he has a sense of entitlement and can’t handle strong women. He has a fragile ego, and he said my guardianship was correct. For a man like that to think guardianship is okay, he’s in for a rude awakening. Guardianship is abusive, plain and simple, and must be abolished because of what reasons I stated above.

3. Victims of guardianship can’t have kids. Unless you’re a screaming shouting person like one girl I spoke to, standard fare for guardianship victims is usually an IUD up your ass. AN IUD prevents pregnancy, and because I had to wait so long to think about getting pregnant, guess what? I’m 35 and a mother of zero, and unfortunately, I could end up joining the millions of women who have died in childbirth complications over the years. I don’t want my pregnancy to be high risk, and there is a chance I could die because of age. My parents had no consideration but for their sons only. IF I had stayed behind in FLorida, they might have put an IUD in my body and told me I was their pet dog instead of their daughter.

4. Victim advocates say that disabled people in group homes are more vulnerable to rape etc. Robert Blanchard, the father of one such, said so about his daughter. Dawn is developmentally disabled, living in a group home in Rockledge, a few miles or more from my hometown. Why did the state agency hire the guy who raped Dawn? Dawn Blanchard’s story is written in the Florida Today and other papers far as I know, but her son is in the care of Robert and his kin. It is sad that Dawn was not able to tell the truth from lies about her caregiver, a male who fathered the child, and then there’s that guy in Arizona who fathered a little baby from a female in a vegetative state. Guys, guardianship victims in either family or for profit situations are in a lot of danger this way, and Dad once said I would benefit from group home placement, but I don’t want to live in a group home for one reason: I wouldn’t be able to have relationships with either the opposite sex or children or relatives. Group homes are rigid with rules, rules that would ruin lives too. Dawn is probably in a different home, but Robert still wonders why that asshole treated his beloved daughter like “a pece of meat” as he wrote once.

5. Guardianship victims often don’t have jobs. Britney is the exception to the rule. Oftentimes, guardianships are gotten by lies and enterprising remarks in the courtroom. Examples include that the patient has dementia, which is total bullshit on Britney’s part. For me, it was “emotional handicaps and severe mental handicap.” Blah blah blah. It’s all lies, and those lies make money. It seems that there are mor Marla Graysons in the world, not enough Jennifer Petersons, and if you haven’t watche the movie I Care A Lot, you wouldn’t get the references. Marla was an abusive ruthless guardian, and Jennifer saw through all the meds, the kidnapping, all that, and she told Marla off. So did a guy whose mom was in her care. Spoiler alert: Marla gets what she deserves, but there’s more. Guardians who are evil need to do the following.

1. They ned to name and claim and tame the problem. They neeed to define their actions as abusive much like sex offenders do. Defining your actions as abusive might take the shape of not living near your elders, not making decisions about any family with disabilities or who are elderly, or giving a voice to those who need it. Example, Danny becomes paralyzed in an automobile accident. He must use a power wheelchair, and in this example which I’m making up, let’s say that Danny needs a barrier free home with bars everywhere, a toilet seat arrangement with bars in the bathrooms, and ramps and big doorways everywhere. While in the fight for this, Danny’s mom and dad have to be able to argue and say to the building people for the house, “Our son is paralyzed and can’t walk, so you need to build him the house he designs.” On top of this, car insurers responsible for the offender who ran Danny over will have to pay up for the building and renovation of his house, and without removing constitutional rights, Danny’s family and friends will have to make sure the offender pays up and even if he’s uninsured, a lawsuit will have to be filed because of the deep impact his paralysis will have. While this is going on, Danny’s mom and dad will have to contend with what do we do for Danny and his wife while he’s in rehab? One of those things would be that they’d have to never consider guardianship. They would have to understand that guardianship is abusive, no matter who does it, no matter who sas it. NO matter how you slice and dice it, if someone becomes disabled by no fault of their own, guardianship is off the table.

2. Guardians must pay back their victims. Jamie Spears, listen up. You ruined your daughter’s life, so pay up. Britney needs her money back, and hopefully forever rids herself of people who want to ruin her life. Britney, if you want, I’d suggest you share the money with victims and survivors of AMerica’s for profit sexist misogynistic guardianship system. I hate unpacking the victim card, but guardianship is evil, pure and simple. Marla Grayson in I Care A Lot uses all of Jennifer’s money and Mrs. Felstrom’s money to go on yachts and do parties and getaways, though not all aspects of this are shown. YOu see Marla’s nice house, her partner, her going into cafes and upscale dining areas. Well, now if I were a survivor of hers, I’d make her pay. I’d sue her for using the money from liquidation and all to pay me back for her little escapades to upscale restaurants and all. It doesn’t matter whether the money went to care, it also went to the guardians’ personal trip to Italy or Jamaica or Estonia for God’s sake.

3. Guardians must be prosecuted. IF you are a believer that guardianship is correct, think about this for a moment. Guardians are evil, unless they’re the ones who look after foster children. IF you’re saying that any guardianship or conservatorship is correct, you’re being a fool and lying to yourself. Guardianship is abusive, plain and simple, and should be prosecuted as the following: unlawful imprisonment, medical neglect/abuse, court embezzlement, fraud, welfare fraud regarding handicapped persons or disabled people, and con artistry and cheating so that you get all the money and they don’t. Confidence men have evolved over the years, and here we have people who are confidence people, con artists, who guardianize. Here’s how I avoid them:

1. I don’t like people coming to my apartment unexpectedly. Know your schedule, and keep a watch on people who come to your apartment unexpectedly and at short notice, or make sure you have a security camera based system such as Deep Sentinel or NestAware at your house, and make it clear that if someone shows up at your house to rob, steal, or spy on you, don’t let them in. IF someone shows up unannounced at your door, be aware of that person’s motives and make them leave immediately.

2. IF you are kidnapped or a crime is committed against you, speak up, scream, shout. LEt it all out and don’t hold back. Police are supposed to help you, but if they do not, call your nearest Disability Rights if you are able, but furthermore, if you can walk outside your house or care facility, do it. And run. Run as far as you can, get the attention of someone you know and trust, tell the police you’ve ben kidnapped by a for profit con artist, don’t let them speak for you to say you’re crazy. Also, for the elderly folks, don’t answer the phone to anyone you suspect may be conning you into being the guardian player in your life.

3. IF your loved one is not able to visit you, scream all over the Internet, scream in court, do whatever it is you can to get your loved one back in your house. Make sure you have a camera based security system such as Deep Sentinel or NestAware, and keep track of footage. Your loved one needs a safe place to stay, so make sure you ave that ready.

I hope Britney will follow the steps in this blog entry, so that this way she is safe from con artists in her elder years. Thank you for reading.

Beth

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