My Day so far

So my day went good so far.  Except for two things: I wake up right?  And the driver calls me up at like 7:45 AM, and I really wish Blake were on with me at that time because we won’t get to talk till like six my time, which is like 5 PM Arizona standard time.  I wish that I could try and do something about not seeing Blake.  IF I didn’t see him, then I’d be miserable.  But not talking to him would be worse.  My life’s been the hellish stuff that some people might call Indian mush mixed with sour cream.  I have been prevented from talking to people as a child, but as an adult, I have to assert my needs clearly.  I was sitting with a group of people today, and talking about asserting ones needs and “I statements.”  Well, my parents might have felt that such statements do not present themselves well.  They were, in all truth, aggressive with the “do as you’re told” mantra that most parents would follow.  “Do this” and “Do that” do not work for me at all.  I’d rather my kid be able to assert his’her needs first so that he’she can grow up learning how to do that and know the skill I have to know as well.  In truth, my upbringing wasn’t the best, and I have to make it known later on as to why.  I mean, there was a time I would have to agree to eat pepperoni pizza, which is why I hate pepperoni pizza now.  I hate pepperonis altogether, and pizza’s fine, but not pepperoni pizza.  I will never eat pepperoni pizza EVER AGAIN!

As for me being such a complaint addict, I won’t agree to something someone else says about me because of my disability and the fact is I have to know myself.  I want for instance to be able to see my boyfriend.  He lives out of state.  I don’t know when I’ll ever see him, and here’s Cathy, his dear mother, saying I have to “change.”  WHat?  Change what?  I’m sorry, but there’s nothing to change at the moment or ever for that matter.  You can’t prevent an adult from seeing his girlfriend or her boyfriend, Ma’am.  And Ma’am, you have to remember, your son is not exactly the “Golden Boy” of your family.  He never worked, though he was probably a better fighter on the floor than he was.  Whoever He happened to be, I won’t mention here in the blog.

Honestly, it always happens this way with disabled people.  We are favored less than the nondisabled siblings.  Siblings get all the stuff: ipods, the latest tech, etc., iphones, androids, yeah yeah yeah.  But we as disabled people are often on a fixed income.  Shouldn’t WE be getting all the stuff too?  No, it’s too expensive and too bulky?  Good excuse, parental units, but I really need to have an Ipod 5.  Which reminds me, I wanted the WordPress app for IOS, but can’t download because it doesn’t have compatibility with my ipod.  I already spoke to a friend who said he’d try and help me buy an ipod, but still, I have to do something about accessories.  I wish I had money so I could buy things like a new phone–my old one is falling apart all the time and the charger’s on the verge of breaking–and a new set of clothes.  I need a new wardrobe, but if I don’t lose weight, my dressings will likely be too small and always that way.  Worse, I don’t have all my pajamas in my drawers.  Somehow one of the tops got lost in the laundry and somebody jacked it.  A caregiver did stuff in the laundry, but she swore she didn’t see the pajama top.  Damn, I wonder where it went.

There are a few things I must add further.  My day is about to get weirder.  I so wish that I as a disabled person could assert my needs better.  But the government won’t give you any more money than is allowed “because you’re blind.”  AS a senior citizen one day, I might need more.  If Blake and I are married for seventy years and we’re retired and old, we need all that money to cover medicines and life advancing stuff–stuff that could help us live in the hundreds or longer.  Ideas are filling my head at the moment.

But alas, nary a day goes by that I don’t think I’m not the favored child.  I was going to say how I could assert Blake’s need to see me to his own dear mother, but she’d never listen.  IF I said, for instance, “I feel like you’re doing something illegal by preventing me from seeing Blake.”  Ok, does that really work?  I want to say those things, but I’m afraid to because I’ve heard her stance on mental illness.  It’s horrible.  She had no illnesses like that in her family, and that could mean the end of things if I write further on about this.  Then again, the reasons my family has illness are the following: childhood molestation and sexual abuse, abuse of different sorts, abandonment, etc.  Yes, I kid you not, and I’m not about to say that my family is a completely messed up family.  I”m lucky I’m not in a dysfunctional Muslim family like that of Ayaan Hirsi Ali, or Hirsi Magan.  Her sister and dad were fine, but Haweya, her little sister, died because she was obviously abused in such ways by her mother, Asha Artan.  Asha wasn’t a good mother, and her late husband was almost no better by forcing Ayaan to marry a guy she didn’t like or know.  I would do the same thing she did, but worse, if it happened in the United States, I’d go all overboard and put a “no contact” order between my parents and me.  I’d restrain them from contact with me, and I don’t think … well, I’m afraid I might have such a thing placed on me for talking to Blake.  Blake is the best friend Ii’ve ever had, and yes, best boyfriend and most supportive man in the whole world.  I hope that you see this, hon, I want you to see that you are the most I’ve had in a humongous lifetime of … well, neglect should I say.

This is just my thoughts, people.  It’s not something that I mean to say, but after the talk about such things as assertiveness and I statements, said things still rolling around in my head, I went home and checked my email.  YEs, my email.  Email is the best invention since I can’t believe it’s not butter.  Or should I say, “I CAn’t Believe It’s Not Jason.”  Yeah, you’ll learn more in a later post.  Jason is a previous boyfriend I had, and I make fun of him all the time.

I’d be pressed to say more, but I want to give you all some info about me.  I”m a nice lady, but if you cross me the wrong way or steal my money, I”m the kijnd to either get passive or yell at you like, “you sent me an email with a passed due balance on it.”  Shut up, I don’t think that’ll work, I don’t want that past due balance.  Why is that there?  Did you even manage the automatic payments, you dumb corporation?  Laughs out loud.

Basketball Memories

Let me tell you all this: I loath sports normally.  However, my bf Blake and I watch some with the play by play together on his pc.  He’s got streams like nobody’s business, and he gave me all the game stats in football, but oh no, basketball is upon us.  My life revolved around the seasons of sports.  Sports were a big part of my family’s life.  Unfortunately, too much was placed on sporting and physical stuff, and not enough on the artsy stuff like the books and music.  My brothers didn’t like the same music I did, and we didn’t agree on what could be played in my car.  OR, should I say, my mom and dad’s big GMC Safari, the ’99 model van that took us everywhere in the U.S. practically: it witnessed the trip to D.C., the trip to Maggie Valley, a trip or two to Charleston without me involved, etc.  I wonder if they sold it or traded it in for some Cash for Klunkers thingy.  Well, that’s all over, the Cash for Klunkers that is.  basketball has been something I personally loathed because it was just a bunch of tall, skinny dudes going around chasing a ball and throwing it through a hoop.  I would put it the same way Professor Hill puts it in the Music Man.  “Get the ball in the hoop. Never mind your chores, getting the cows milked or beefsteak pounded.  Never mind the way you look when you are doing this weird gesture.”  I would say that any boob could take and shove a ball in a pocket on a pool table.  Thus, I have chosen not to put a pool table in my own back porch.  My grandmother has one of those, and a pool table AND a basketball hoop would make my house look like the Devil’s playground.  As Prof. Hill says earlier in the song, “The idle brain is the Devil’s playground.”  Why?  Well, if you’re not thinking, the Devil can put all kinds of stuff in your head.  Stuff like, um, cigarettes are the best thing since ice cream.  Basketball sounds good on the outside, but in my humble opinion, basketball is overdone and so is football.  Excuse me?  It looks weird having a bunch of guys chasing after a tiny ball.  Blake thinks it’s the weirdest thing since ice cream waffle cones, but I think such sports, any ball sport rather, is a danger to the kid’s mind if they just sit there and do IT rather than read the Bible, do the household chores, and oh yeah, homework.  I think the Pool Trouble song had a point.  Meaning, “We’ve got trouble.”  Well, I’m sorry.  We’ve got Trouble right here in Denver, with a capital T and that rhymes with P, which stands for … pool.  What about the shoving a ball through a hoop thing I said earlier?  Same stuff.  I’ve been to basketball games, and sang the anthem at one game.  I don’t mind if Blake watches ball sports, but to actually do such a thing, to watch my own children of the future do ball sports, would kill me to no end!  I personally think they’d do better at tai kwon do and music and dance, which I could very well appreciate.  Blake loves to dance, but I don’t see his own son doing football.  Blake’s son won’t do football, basketball, tennis, etc.  Oh yeah, tennis.  Take and shove a ball over a net with a racket.  Never mind how bad the other player looks after you hit him/her in the face with the tennis balls.  I’d rather use tennis balls with playing fetch with a dog rather than playing such a weird game.

Just my luck.  Blake is currently, at the moment I type this, watching the Sons get their butts wooped by the Lakers, who are like the worst basketball team EVER!  Boo hiss, my dad used to say when he saw them play.  And what was with that one guy being accused of raping a lady here in CO so many years ago?  Was it Bryant?  That’s ridiculous.  I wouldn’t support a team whose players had sad records and not so glowing reputations.  But then again, all the football, basketball, and so on teams have issues with criminals on them.  Why can’t the sports leagues check the players’ backgrounds before they even get on the team?  Then why can’t they enact antibullying programs like we do in our schools?  Um, Richie Incognito, are you listening here?  I think it’s high time we do this because otherwise, sports will look glum, almost like a battlefield in ancient Greece.  Those dudes could fight, but the battles were awful.  City States would fight each other to the death, and they prayed to false idolatrous figures like Zeus and such.  I’m not kidding.  And then, there’s the prominence of the pedophile in the ancient times.  The Appostle Paul says that nobody is supposed to have a boy lying in his bed, as the translation goes in Greek.  Paul hated the practice, and he says this is sexually immoral, but in Ancient Greece, it was perfectly fine.  These dudes were athletes too, so why didn’t they get arrested for doing stuff with those poor little boys?  Today, after we hear about Jerry Sanduski in Penn State, what do we do?  We’re silent at first, but then victims start pulling themselves out like wildflowers and saying, “So and so” meaning the coach “molested me.”  That’s when we prosecute him and Coach Paterno, may he rest in peace.  Poor old guy, he was fired for a bad reason.  Maybe he should’ve looked a bit further into the situation and stopped it right when it started.  That’s what happened to a friend whose son was molested at church, no names of course.  The five-year-old boy was molested by a lady in church, and she ended up leaving that church with her whole family.  My friend should’ve been to Grace Community here in Denver, we don’t like molesters.  We say that if you are a child molester, don’t even join the church.  We do background checks and for good reason.  Examples like my friend I mentioned earlier are clear reasons why churches should do background checks.

Ok, I’ve ranted and raved enough.  I”m oepn to thoughts and comments.

National Federation of the Blind and H&R Block Announce Agreement Assuring Accessibility‏

This is a huge step in the right direction. We need to be with it when it comes to accessing tax stuff. After all, I want to be a taxpaying citizen.

Cheryl Echevarria Advocate for the Blind Blog

National Federation of the Blind and H&R Block

Announce Agreement Assuring Accessibility

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CONTACT:
Chris Danielsen
Director of Public Relations
National Federation of the Blind
(410) 659-9314, extension 2330
(410) 262-1281 (Cell)
cdanielsen@nfb.org

National Federation of the Blind and H&R Block
Announce Agreement Assuring Accessibility

H&R Block Will Make Online Tax Prep and Mobile Apps Accessible
Boston, Massachusetts (March 25, 2014): The National Federation of the Blind (NFB), the oldest and largest nationwide organization of blind Americans, and H&R Block, which prepares approximately one in seven tax returns in America, announced today that they have reached an agreement to make H&R Block’s Web site, online tax preparation products, and mobile applications fully accessible to blind taxpayers. Blind people access computers, Web sites, and mobile applications through screen access software that converts what is on the screen into spoken words or Braille, but improperly coded Web sites…

View original post 480 more words

Introduction

My name is Beth.  I’ve heard this blog site was great.  Yeah, I can NEVER keep a blog for some reason, so I decided, what with ambition and the weirdness I have built up in my brain, that I’d do it again.  Oh no!  I thought to my self, Beth Taurasi, you can’t even keep the blog going.  Yes, I had a google blog, but forget that.  I went with LiveJournal, but whoa.  Forget it.  I’m totally weird now, and have a WordPress account, thinking I could write in it every day.

As someone who is blind from birth, I have had many challenges.  I’ve been through a multitude of things, some I cannot discuss in a public blog, but others I can tell you.  Being blind has its challenges.  people tell you that you cannot do stuff, and it’s darn typical for schools to leave you out of physical activities.  What with the schools’ obesity probs with kids these days, it boggles my mind why phys ed is exclusive to sighted kids.  I’m sorry, but my current boyfriend, a tai kwon do black belt, someone who’s had like 39 surgeries to correct various facial stuff and head deformities and the like, has done physical stuff.  Yes, he can’t do ball sports like the rest of the guys, but his martial arts training is more than just a hand to hand physical activity.  Blake’s moods are wonderful, and I think at least the physical part relieves stress.  He’s lucky his mom teaches and stuff, and she’s also a black belt.  Blake, alas, has been through his own set of challenges, and so have I.  Thus begins my story from here.  Today is March 30, 2014.  It’s a Sunday, my bf’s favorite day in the whole world.  He loves God, and that’s drawing me to him more and more.  His intoxication with God is good.  I don’t think it’s like he’s completely drunk.  And he never gets stoned.  I’ve never went so far as to say he’s drunk.  He’s drunk with devotion to the Lord, and that’s better than most guys, who’d rather be drunk with devotion to porn and stuff.  What more could I ask for!

With all this in mind, let’s begin a journey of healing and hope together.  I’m writing this because it feels good to write in a blog.  But ah, I must keep this thing in a high maintenance thing.  Blake is always on Twitter, and so am I.  Now, this blog is definitely going to be a good start to making things heard.  Let me talk about me now.  I love to read, write, play music, sing, etc.  My favorite movies include such greats at most as the Harry Potter series, which includes not seven, but EIGHT MOVIES!  I love, however, the new Hunger Games movies.  The books are supposed to be better, but I want to read Mockingjay, the third book in the series.  Uh, are you following me?

Throughout my life, I’ve always loved books.  I read books that answer and raise questions of social stigma, value, and so on.  What I’m saying is that I’d read the Giver, and it raises questions like, “Should the littlest and most helpless newborn child be killed?”  We know the obvious answer to that one.  IF Blake had been born in the Giver communities, he’d have been left to die in the hills, or in Gathering Blue, they’d call it the Field of Leaving.  It would not be a good thing for any involved.  Then, there’s the Birthmarked Trilogy.  There are many questions in this one: should disabled people be not given an education?  Should babies who are “healthy and whole” be traded as goods for only healthy parents?  What is advancing really about?  Gaia Stone is a midwife whose parents are under arrest for something or other, and she’s finding stuff out as I am reading Birthmarked, the first book.  I’ve got to see waht happens to Bonnie and Jasper Stone.  Unfortunately, the land in which Gaia lives is wrought with baby selling and disabled children are called “freaks.”  What?  I am a blind woman, and I refuse to be called one myself.  Then, there’s the Hunger Games.  To what extent must we exert control of a people?  How do you keep a people under control?  Not with a game such as the Hunger Games.  Not with the extent of the death and violence experienced by the teenage and preteen people in the book.  I cried when Ru died because Katniss, sweet as she was and still kind of is, cried too and sang as she lowered Ru to the floor.  Ru was obviously her friend, and if my friends died like that, I’d be crying too.  Therefore, I must state that I cried buckets when Katniss had to bury Ru like that.  It was sad.

Those are just a few of the books and stories I’ve read that raise questions about social issues, and such issues may include the “perfect child” movement I sometimes hate.  I often hate the way parents get rid of disabled kids.  I’ve seen the late and great Adrienne Asch’s work on bioethics and all that stuff about how abortion of disabled people is a bad idea.  Selective abortion has never been a favorite thing of mine.  80% of Down’s Syndrome infants are aborted these days, and that’s sad.  Blake and I discussed the possibilities, and if I do become pregnant, we have this idea that we’re not going to prenatally test the infant in our care.  That doesn’t seem right for us, and if we have to, such a test is going to render a doc incompetent and unsatisfied, and could encourage the male or female M.D. trained doctor to say, “Uh, Mr. Tucker, you guys, you might want to reconsider having this baby.  He/she has Down’s Syndrome.”  Honestly, Jenny Hatch was a hero, is a hero, and has Down’s.  I have nothing against her, but any disability, whether it be intellectual or physical, does not warrant a lack of education or lack of stuff.  I’d much rather be a rich diva who has it all, but then again, even the rich don’t.  Take Heath Ledger, who had it all and died young.  That’s just me.  I’m an intellectual person who always has to ask, “Should I or what should I do?”

Ok, back to me.  I’m also a dog and horse lover.  Dogs are like men are, and horses like women in my book.  Horses are the most trusting animals ever.  They trust you as long as you respect them and treat them well.  Same with us ladies.  I don’t trust absolutely every guy.  I’ll say why in a later post.

I love lots of animals, dogs among them.  Men are like different breeds.  For instance, my boyfriend Blake Tucker might be classified as having the personality of a golden retriever mixed with a labrador retriever.  Why?  He’s so sweet, kisses everybody, is intelligent, and does lots of protection along with that.  All signs of a lab and golden personality are all over Blake.  However, some guys are bald dogs, some guys are golden ones.  It depends on the personality.

My family is composed of me, my two brothers in florida, and my parents in Florida.  Both my parents worked at Kennedy Space Center when they met and married.  Ok, I’ll say later in another post why this is.  As it is, the closest person to me is Blake, and he and I both believe that my blood family hasn’t done their job as a family.  Blake is my closest lover, adviser, friend, etc.  HE loves me more than words.  He is the one who will walk through fire and water to be with me, and even his mom can’t stop him.  His mom could easily have had me prosecuted for speaking to him, but no, she thinks we’re just “friends.”  What?  I’m sorry, but we’re going to get further than that.  My policy is that she can’t have anything to say about us when we’re eventually engaged and married and so on.  AT 27, I have no husband, job, or house.  I’d rather have the daily stresses of motherhood and wifehood rather than the current stresses I face.  More in a later post.

Myh favorite food is anything Italian, such cheese as goat and cheddar, and so on.  Boy as this post has been long, I’ve written a lot of stuff about me.  You are all welcome to reblog and comment as much as you’d like, but please, no profanity and offensive comments.  I already had to delete someone on Facebook for this, no names.  I love you all.

Beth