I know it’s a bit early. TW mentions of bullying.

Dear Santa,

I know it’s a bit early. But if I was only a child, I’d be on your knee right now, talking to you about stupid stuff like toys, etc. But guess what? I’m 35, no kids, no real house with a chimney, fireplace, and all theh fixings of a Christmas house. Santa, I believed in you for years, and I’ve seen a pattern of stuff going on in kids these days. While somem are saying, oh my god, kids are so spoiled, you know what I also see? Stupid, evil, abusive men. I see men who hit and beat up their wives and children, and the children write you letters saying, I want Mommy to have a ggood husband who does not beat her, won’t beat me up, etc. There are “elves” so to speak here in the real world who read your letters, and their hearts break. I don’t know if my letter will ever be seen by the elves here, but I know what I want for Christmas this year. Please tell me I’m not spoiled for asking this. I didn’t want to ask for anything but a modest clean house with a good walkable neighborhood, friends and a family and community that would support me in raising a child who will believe in you. I have always wanted a child, but that child needs more than I can give, but I would never want my own flesh and blood in the hands of someone who doesn’t get it. Let me begin at the beginning.

It all started with creepy crawly bugs in my apartment, maybe a neighbor has them, I don’t quite know. My longterm care provider, who is excellent and tops in all the things she does, basically had to stop showing up through no fault of her or her supervisor’s. I’m totally blind, and this building sucks. I have been stuck here for ten years in HUD public housing in Denver, Colorado, and I’ve seen my share of heartbreak. My partner and I don’t want to raise a child here in this run down … well, what I like to call a bug infested chateaux sometimes or a run down chateaux. The reindeer couldn’t get on the thirteen story roof and no way do you wanna go down thirteen stories to give presents to all these people who have either forgotten or don’t think you should be here. Some have kids and grandkids, but the grandkids visit on periodic times. I am only 35 years old, have never felt the pains of childbirth, and I have never forgotten you. You have many names, St. Nicholas among them, and if I were Catholic, I’d be asking you to bring me a child, whether through the foster system or by my own body. But alas, a job would have to be procured, but honestly, I don’t think it’s safe for me to have a job. I just want to change the world so that people can be here safely, not kill each other with guns and stuff, not call each other bad names or get unnecessarily bent out of shape just because I did something I had to do.

So the story is that I posted something about a house, an apartment, I just want a safer roof over my head, and families and such. While I have been blind my whole life, I know how this world treats us, but it is also a division of have and have nots. I have a really cool partner who I’d love to know what his child would look like, and all the good things that come with having a child. I’d raise that child to just let their imagination run wild, and every Christmas Day, I want for that child to wake up in a modest house, and I didn’t even post that I wanted a designer mansion in Beverly Hills for God’s sakes, but that’s how two people on my Facebook page perceived it. I don’t want a guide dog, I said, just a small spaniel puppy and nothing too special. I didn’t say I wanted a big yard, so I said I would get a dog with no requirement of a big yard. And the nasty comments came in. “You’re a spoiled brat. How can you afford this and you can’t even feed yourself?” what insults. Santa, I want those people to get rocks and … no, coal is too humane. How about environmentally friendly reminders of how mean they were?

Santa, the girl who also said I wasn’t living reality should get a hallucination from somewhere beyond, and then she’ll start talking to it, and then she’ll ask, is this real? Well, I don’t and have never had hallucinations so … what the hell she was doing was wrong. I’d give her a shrunken brain for Christmas with the words engraved like as follows:

Santa says you’ve been naughty, so here’s the scoop. All you get for Christmas is this … your shrunken brain. There you know what I mean?

My ex boyfriend, I’ve mentioned him here before, I don’t want him to get but anything for Christmas. He claims he has the best life, all those stupid friends of his who don’t even know my name, and frankly, I don’t know who he is anymore. I said in a live feed that he wouldn’t let me have a vibrator and all this and that, but truth is I liberated myself from this stupid prison called this is a sin and that is a sin. Santa, women want freedom and love and that’s it. Children have imaginations, and trust me, it was a child’s imagination and later an adult’s frustration that led to many inventions and concepts. For Christmas, I wish you’d just leave my ex’s stocking empty, and a note that says, you’ve been naughty, so here’s the thing: come Christmas you shall not be able to sing. My exes don’t need to be involved in my search for an apartment.

Do me a big favor, though, please give my caregiver more tools for her profession. Give her a vacuum cleaner that works. Brooms are cool. Please give her more money in her pay pack, and don’t let anyone give her migraine headaches. If she needs days off, please assure I won’t let her go. For her daughter, who is autistic, give her a long and happy life, and she will one day have kids who beelieve in you. But all I want is a modest rental or owned house with three beds and two baths, a kitchen, a living room, a family room, maybe a small porch, a small yard, a flat roof or rectangular roof. I don’t want to be without running water or electricity because hell, this is the U.S. and if the girl who is mentally ill behaves, please if you could just give her back her electricity, and let her glimpse her family members, and let her pee in a toilet instead of a bucket, okay? Fix her house, her plumbing, and all that. She doesn’t understand how awful it is to ask for something as reasonable as a house and get this badly beaten up. I am not asking for a mansion, but if you insist I live in a nursing home, I won’t write you again.

Please, Mr. Claus, I know you only do kids and toys, or maybe you don’t, but if I don’t bear a child, that’s one less person to believe your story. You brought stuff to kids who had nothing at all, but my ex, who’s. probably as immature as a boy and in his twenties, and this other gal he was talking to on the phone with me, look, I have empathy for the girl. But if she misbehaves I’m not gonna say a word. I want her to have the plumbing and heating she needs, and that tornado? I didn’t even know it was over her house. Please, give her a few Colorado peaches.

But all I ask is for a modest living situation, and Santa i’ll be glad to give you everything: my food, my check, some place for the deer to graze, what the hell else should I give you in return/ For my ex, I want him to have a virtuous and very good person in his life who can marry him and call him husband, and I want him to stop being entitled to sexual things with her. He needs to quit flirting with other girls, but she will also be the one to say, “I’m not your slave.” Give my ex the ability to cook for himsef, his wife, and future kids. And when the time comes, Santa, go to his and his wife’s room and I would hope you give them Christmas presents for the whole family.

What breaks my heart is that I’m being questioned about my abilities. I have a special wish for my disabled community members. Do not give us sight. Give us books we can read, ones in Braille and such, and please, santa, keep reading the letters of blind children. Make the parents get them out of bed and get them writing and reading Braille again. Santa, would you fly your sled over to D.C. and tell the lawmakers and old Mr. Joe over there that there are transgender kids who need a ride in your sled to places where they will have life affirming care and stuff like that/ There are many kids who could use my house, and if I get the house or modest rental, please let the kids come and I’ll find foster homes that are life affirming for them. There’s a girl in Texas who has received death threats, and you being the magical one, you know her name. She was born male, but she really is female, pronouns she/her/hers. Please give her lots of dresses, and money so her parents can get the hell out of Texas. Cut the lines of those who are bothering her, and tell the lawmakers in Texas they’ll be getting coal and rocks and useless crap in their stockings, nothing at all, or perhaps a summons letter to report to jail for threatening this little girl. Tell the girl’s mother that I wish her all the best, but that I’d give the shirt off my back for her because she needs it more. Look, if I. had a modest multibed place with no creepy crawlies, I’d be glad to share it with her. My husband and I would give our whole career and lives helping kids like that one. And please send my friends at the Initiative more tools so some more women and children with disabilities can be helped on my behalf. Santa, I know it’s a bit early. But for Christmas, I want to change the world, I want a modest house, and don’t make me copy Amy Grant’s famous Christmas song. Because her list is my list.

I have to see who messaged me, but I’ll see you and all your entourage at Christmas, and I hope that my wishes and the wishes of others come true. I’m sorry to write this early, but you have six months to prep. That’s plenty of time.

Beth

Shut Down Christian private schools? Let’s Take A Look, And a Life Affirmation for One Student

Dear readers,

I’ve been hashing this issue out for a while, but schools that purport to be Christian private schools should never get the chance to put bisexual and homosexual kids down. Chloe Shelton was kicked out of a school in the second grade because she supposedly had a crush on a girl. There was another teen that was kicked out of a school for having a rainbow cake for her birthday. Sexual immorality my ass! The kicking out of Chloe Shelton was pure and inadmissible bigotry and hatred. This is not what Jesus would say if he came back here. What would Jesus do? If a child has homosexual tendencies, that is no grounds for dismissal for any reason. St. Teresa’s School is a perfect example of a school that bans LGBTQI+ individuals because of their so called Catholic teachings. I’d like to affirm Chloe’s decision, and I want Chloe to know a few things.

1. God loves everybody. Jesus loves everybody, he loved people who were considered outcasts, so why this school kicked her out is anyone’s guess. Bigotry and hatred have no place in this school, or any school at all.

2. You can’t fix stupid. I’m sorry, but fixing stupid isn’t the way to end the practice of expelling students from school for being gay or transgender or anything. the Unitarian churches I see don’t put up with things like this.

3. Every child is precious in the eyes of the Lord and the universe, and I believe that if Jesus truly understood what humanity did or said about Chloe’s actions, he’d be all, no, that’s not life affirming. This school should burn in Hell for what they did to Chloe, and there’s no excuse for any Christian school to be operating under the banner of bigotry and gender conformity.

I showed you readers the dress code from STS and wanted to let you all know that it screams rape culture, gender conformity, and a hatred for those who don’t marry before having sex. Teenage pregnancy is not the girl’s fault, and especially if she’s been raped. I hope the Christian schools today will analyze their Christianity, and understand that the way they practice will get them burned up by the lightning that God will supposedly rain down on these schools. They don’t practice love, only hatred and bigotry. Private schools are also expensive, so expensive that I would never send my own future children to STS and schools like it. Chloe, if you want to know what I feel about this, you are welcome to read my blog and understand that life affirming care is the way to go for you. If it becomes evident that you are bisexual or have a crush on a female, don’t be afraid. Come out and play with your friends. I hope you can find peace in knowing that one day, all the bigots and those who hate you for who you love and who you are will not get God’s blessing, not ever. Jesus never said that gay people were evil or wicked, and all this crap about sexual immorality makes me sick. To tell the truth, Chloe, I threw the Bible back in the preachers’ faces because of this whole bullcrap about sexual immorality and marriage or living with a man outside legal tying the knot. I’m a disabled girl with a disabled partner, and if we legally wedded, we’d be losing healthcare, protections from SSA, social security administration, and our future would be bleak for the kids. Imagine my children getting nothing but hand me downs, going to schools where they are treated like garbage, bullied, whatever. I don’t want that for you or for anyone’s kids. Chloe, you don’t even have to believe in the God of the Bible, you can do the things you want with whichever practice you want, and that’s the beauty of America. The United States of America clearly states that in the first amendment that Congress shall make no laws, “establishing the free exercise of religion, and of the right to peaceable assembly and of the press.” The First Amendment also can be interpreted to say that you have the right to an opinion, but you don’t have to kneel on the floor and pray to Allah or get your head cut off. Most Muslim places have repressive regimes and laws that say that you have to be Muslim and marry a man and all that crap. Just remember, you are in a blessed country, a place where you can be you. Just do your thing, and in your new school, I hope you will find new friends who actually like you, and a teacher who believes in you.

With love,

Beth

Letter to All Guardians Out There in Florida, You’re On Notice

Dear readers,

The following piece is dedicated to all those considering or currently holding guardianship in the state of Florida, for those who have guardianship over a young adult with a disability. Please read carefully.

Katy, age 26, can’t even have a boyfriend without her mother knowing it. She doesn’t have a bank account in her name, can’t spend her own money, is micromanaged on the daily. Because of privacy concerns, I’ve changed this girl’s name. Katy is blind, and she does everything she wants, but her mother believes that because of a small problem like blindness, she can’t live on her own. I have a message to all those Katy’s Moms out there.

First and foremost, Katy’s mom could isolate her from talking to me, could easily have swiped away her cell phone, could have taken away all the rights she is owed by the Constitution, could have died early and her ashes stored in an office by a professional guardian. Here’s what you need to know about guardianship.

1. It is supposed to be a relationship that allows a guardian to take care of someone, but guess what it really does? It allows the following items to occur concurrently, or all at once. And the ward has no rights, and it’s akin to human trafficking and slavery. Katy knows what she needs, and her therapist is there to help, but let’s tell everybody what it really does.

2. It allows an evil person, an abuser, a toxic fiend, to isolate the ward. Katy can’t have boyfriends, friends, whatever. Katy can not even marry. This is also very detrimental to Katy as she might end up my age, no kids, no job.

3. Guardianship allows rehab services for the blind to choose your career over what you want. I wanted to be a choral director, but no, can’t do because of flunking class, university costs, and my parents can’t tell me to go back home and sit there, a shell of my former self. I left the state of Florida because of this flunky attitude that the university had toward my accommodations. That was why I do not currently have employment, I was wasting my time in hiding, and even when I used rehab services for the blind in Colorado, the same issues popped up. They decided to scale back my career choices, send me to a bigot for psychological evaluation, and then they said I was unemployable, so rehab services are useless. Katy can’t use rehab services without her mom butting in. This is bad for her business prospects and her love life.

4. Katy has medical guardianship. If she gets pregnant, guess what? Her mom could tell her to abort the baby, which is tantamount to killing in some circles. Or the baby could be signed away to a strange couple or single mother who doesn’t give a fuck whether Katy is blind and independent or not.

5. Katy has probably had her free speech encroached upon for the safety of nasty patriarchs and important people. I had that happen to me. And I hope that guardians understand what their decision really does to a person.

6. My guardians lied to the courts about me, well, my former guardians as of December. It is very obvious why they lied. They created a toxic relationship between me and them, relegated me to isolation or bad people as friends, and when I found love, up till recently, it was always an abusive idiot. That is not okay, not okay at all.

So what do you do as a potential guardian who steals SSI checks? Well, here’s an alternative for you to consider.

Supportive decision making is a very good alternative to guardianship, and if you don’t consider this, well, you’re evil. YOu have to understand, there is no excuse for guardianships, and when Katy grows to be aged 90, she could end up beat up in a nursing home, but supportive decision making will help with Katy’s needs a lot better, that is if she was intellectually impaired. Don’t like the things I am saying? Well, put the mouse or keyboard down and don’t comment, because gguess what? You can’t. I’ve been trolled on the subject of guardianship, and it is an evil practice akin to institutionalization and human trafficking. When my former guardians are sued, I’m going to ask that my lawyer help Katy out. She will be free, along with thousands like her. Young adults with disabilities deserve independence, dignity, and human rights.

Beth

Overview of Inclusivity and Religion: Making Spiritual matters a Thing of Inclusion for Disabled Congregants

Dear readers,

I shared Ellen Stumbo’s post from the Mightete, a disabled news org, and she has a lot of things to probably unpack. Thank you for those who saw that story and wished to be a part of my spiritual life. I looked through this blog, and I saw some mistakes I might have made, identifying one man as Somali and another man as not. Who knows, but I want to truly open a timeline and a dialogue with all faiths and religions, notwithstanding the mistakes I made, but I want to put all the stuff I wrote prior to this post in one big summary timeline, and here it is. It includes what you should do with disabled congregants, and this is based on experiences I’ve had with churches.

1. First and foremost, your parking lot and door entrances have to be wide enough for wheelchairs, even if the building is rustic and old. Make some accommodations in your restrooms so that disabled people can use them. Place bars on the walls of each stall, and make the stalls wide enough so that a wheelchair user can use the stalls. Blind people should be able to ID the bathroom with a Braille sign. Place such signage above the door, or by the door on a wall in the alcove’s outer side. That’s how the signage can be easily seen, and I look for signs there. Also, make sure your Braille is proofread by a certified NLS Braille proofist, even if it’s the word handicapped. here’s a funny Braille story to show you why: The Braille sign for “and” is written with dots 1-2-3, then dots 4-6, all put together. it’s a letter y in Braille but written a bit backwards. So the dot combo is 1-2-3-4-6. However, there was a sign that was written with the “ing” sign: the dot 2 was missing from the “and” sign, so the sign that my cane teacher interpreted was the following: “Girls hingicapped.” Be careful with Braille contractions and lettering, and make sure you have a Braille cheat sheet on you to make sure all signage is correctly Brailled. The architecture of this building should reflect inclusivity. For Muslims, make sure the woodoo areas are completely user friendly, and if you insist on women and men being in separate prayer areas, do not use only stairs. Put the women in a place where wheelchairbound sisters can enjoy worship from the same floor as the men, but you must have wider doorways and the woodoo fountains should be at a level that is usable for those sisters who can’t raise their right or left hand to turn on the fountains. Make sure there are places to put shoes where a sister or brother won’t trip. This is something an old friend frequently would talk about while I was present at mosque. For Jewish ceremonies, always include your wheelchair using sisters and brothers, and for those who count themselves as orthodox or Hassidim, always always always have a door open for disabled congregants who want to join in. Even the goyem will admire your inclusivity.

2. When a congregant walks in, make sure you are welcoming to them. For Christian churches, please make sure you have alternatives to hymnals that a disabled person may use, and as a blind person, I wish I had been able to read the words to worship service songs in detail. Give the blind congregant access to the lyrics at worship services ahead of time, or let them hear a recording of the hymns you will be singing in services. For Jewish folks, same sort of thing may apply to shabbats, and for those who hate tech during shabbat, please note that an exception should be made for blind folks using Braille. Braille displays should be used in Hebrew services so they can follow along with the rabbi or congregation cantor, and make sure that the persons leading the choir and rabinical folks know about this stuff. Your Jewish blind congregants should have as much access to Hebrew scripture, Hebrew chorale pieces, and so much more so they can sing and follow along. Of course, young Jewish students should be included in Hebrew school as well, so for teachers of such, make sure your texts are written in appropriately hebrew Braille. it is in my opinion the best way to get a student familiar with the Hebrew language. It’s similar to Arabic, and I’ve seen Arabic Braille written down, but face it, the letters are pretty similar to both Roman and Hebrew script. For religious educators in Catholic circles, you need to consult the publishers of your books. Make sure the Catholic faith textbooks are written for children in Braille, and if you’re a teacher, beg the publisher for the teacher’s edition in the same format. If not Braille, kids and teachers who are blind should be given access to the same materials but in electronic format. If they use a pc or mac with screen readers, the formatting should be excellent, top quality, arranged so that pictures are captioned and labeled accordingly. This also applies to Muslim folks. Sadly, I wasn’t able to participate in Qur’an classes with my sisters in islam, but for the young folks in TAQI, or Tasir Al Qur’an Institute schools, they should be given Braille copies or electronic Arabic and English copies of the Qur’an. This way, as the prophet said, you can still gain knowledge, even if you can’t see it.

3. For all religious centers, babies should be baptized or blessed with the same dignity and pomp as with normal babies.

4. When a kid grows up, and with adults growing in faith, let the person experiment or teach them the science behind the choices they make with procreation. While i’m not a fan of the Catholic or Christian ideological senses of don’t have sex until marriage, please note that disabled children and adults face the most poverty because of that very thing. Disabled men become predators sometimes because they are not taught how to keep their sex organs to themselves, and disabled women get objectified. We need to create a welcoming and safe space for all, including disabled people. All religious centers and community churches should include a consent class, a code of honor and consent for all congregants and brothers and sisters. While islam has strictures of family honor tied right into the religion itself, I would encourage Muslims to research and understand the rules about consent in modern culture. islam must conform to let females make all choices, and even in cultures where this is not the case, females must be able to say no if they see something wrong or abusive about a man. This definitely includes disabled females. I left islam because I didn’t want to have to marry a stranger, and I wasn’t about to get barefoot and pregnant with someone i hardly understood how to please anyway. I would have also had superiority games played on me if I married a sighted guy, which the Muslim brothers suggested. Unfortunately, for these brothers, I married a non Muslim blind guy, and I won’t be coming back. I love my sisters, and I understand if the sisters insist I walk back, but I can’t do any such thing because islam has become a contested religion here in this country. I’ve been disrespected by a doctor who swore i was “pretending to be Arab”, and was trolled on Facebook for this very thing. I don’t subscribe to religious views that contradict my own core beliefs about me, and that should be what matters.

5. When a bride and or grooms and brides or couple comes to you and your religious center for marriage, get their story. If a couple wanting to wed is disabled, offer the commitment ceremony option first. I want to shout out to Jenny, my minister from Jefferson unitarian Church. I wanted a woman minister to lead my wedding commitment ceremony because I was not, I repeat not, going to submit to a man in everything, and I was just about done with the patriarchal … dare I say it? Bullshit. patriarchs like some of the priests that abuse women and boys should never be allowed to do weddings anyway. If a bride or groom is not supported because of financial disability, physical disability, or anything else, offer to pay for everything. St. Bernadette’s Catholic church paid for the catering of the wedding of a dear friend of mine, but the bride also had the support of her family. Since Trenton and I did not have the support of church and family, and the pandemic had ruined all churchgoing plans, jenny came by our apartment and we had no ring bearer. We also had a guy doing camera angling for the phone. I recorded my commitment ceremony on Facebook Live. It was a beautiful ceremony, and I honestly wish I had more support, but it was true to us. We had a biblical reading of course, but we also had a wisdom reading from another spiritual source, something I really wish other Christians would consider. Weddings are an important part of life as a human being, and even if the bride is incapacitated, offer the support she needs to fight back and marry the man she loves. I had no support, and now I’m having to sue my own family for damages related to the guardianship. They are very hostile if confronted, but they don’t get it. They never wanted me to legally get married, and I didn’t, but I’m still committed to Trenton and will stay that way for life. Anyway, i’m glad I did my own wedding, but with church supports and no pandemic, it could have been better.

6. Offer support for disabled adults wishing to integrate kids into the mix. Whether the family is getting started or has been started, please, please welcome disabled people’s kids. Baptize them or commit them or dedicate them as above, if they consent. In most Protestant churches, baptism must be given if faith is strong enough and if you’re eighteen. Also, scriptural abuse cannot be tolerated whether it’s committed against the parental couple or the kids themselves. For parents everywhere, disabled or not, always have an open line of communication with your kids about sex abuse and spiritual abuse. If your child is abused spiritually by a church, leave that congregation immediately.

7. If a parent with disabilities wants to know how their kid is doing in spiritual circles, they need to ask about it. Churches should be a welcome and safe space for all kids, including those with disabilities and colored folks, any stripe and color included but not limited to black, brown, polka dots, purple, etc.

8. If the parent of a disabled congregant in your church dies, be with the person and show them the grieving process. Give them bereavement resources in your spiritual center, and let them come to you for guidance. As a minister or cleric in your spiritual center, you should be a good ear to bounce off all the stuff the child or young adult is facing in the death of their loved one. If the disabled adult is facing terminal conditions related to their disability, give them the hospice resources they deserve. Give them a good sendoff whether they are nonbinary or otherwise. Islam insists on strict gender conformity, but to those who practice Native beliefs, the two spirit people should be honored above all else. For those who are nonbinary who were shunned from communities for being nonbinary or LGBTQ+, please note that there are people who won’t condemn you to hell, so if you’re on the heaven bound train, find the right person for your funerary care. It will be worth your while.

9. Never put any sort of discipline in place that would disfavor disabled adults who are living in houses outside marital status with someone of the opposite sex. Trenton and I were abused and frequently targets of sin related comments from my former church. I feel that all churches should discipline anyone who abuses a disabled woman and calls her a whore, not blame her for being a whore at all. Churches must if anything have a discipline system in place to keep predators from working with youngsters, but above all, they should never define marriage as between a man and a woman who is able. Ableist marriage practices in churches make marriage difficult, along with those financial penalties from SSI. Please beware the issues we disabled people face.

10. Never tell someone they can’t come back because of their disability, and don’t make them confess sins they didn’t commit. I can’t fess up to sins, I didn’t commit the sins of being sexually abused. that’s not a sin. A sin is what my exes have done. Not my living with Trenton, not my commitment to him either.

Thank you all for reading this, and I hope you enjoy the blog further.

Beth

Guidelines for Gifts with Adults in Mind

Dear readers,

Have you been invited to the office Christmas party and not been able to find the perfect gift? Well, with Covid, offices have had to cancel their Christmas parties, but you can still buy gifts for people online, but I’m not here to tell you specifics. I’m only telling you what sort of thing to look for when choosing the perfect gift for your loved one this Christmas. Here’s the skinny.

First, get to know the recipient of a potentially awesome present. Think of this as the beginning of Secret Santa. We did this in chorus a lot, and we also did stuff like this in other settings. Ask the recipient what they like, dislike, and what’s special about them. Examples include that the recipient likes dogs, their favorite color is red, and they are allergic to nuts. I’m not thankfully allergic to nuts, but that is just an example. If a gift recipient is blind, take note of this and find a gift that fits the budget specified in the event you’re attending, but make sure that gift is usable and not something that you wouldn’t see ever again, or something you’d get in a landfill real fast.

Make sure you have a budget. For my chorus gifts, I think the budget was $20. Reasonable, as some of the things people want would be very highly expensive, but even a $20 gift would suffice. Here’s another idea for your budget: make sure you think about gift card values in $25. If your budget allows, ask your recipient where they like to go on a good day, what they want to do with money, etc. Gift cards are always a great idea or perhaps these days, purchase them something they can use. Does your friend or family member like Disney movies? Purchase them a free month of Disney Plus, the Disney streaming service. Does your friend like to read? Audible gift cards are a must. So, if you really want to buy something thoughtful, those are definitely good go to things to try.

When you are opening a gift with family, you want to know what that gift says in the symbolic nature of things. Never ever give out guns and rifles to anyone who is experiencing depression or suicidal ideations, etc. It is imperative that when you give a gift, especially for someone with disability or mental illness, you keep the message in mind. What does a gun say about your relationship with that person? Giving that recipient the family’s old weapons could lead to disaster. Always keep in mind what the person actually wants. If you give me a box of red and gold Christmas lights, I’ll be darned happy about that, but however, I want to make sure that those Christmas lights are used every year. And it has to be done in my own home. I got the most inconsiderate idea for a gift, a white elephant thing of party lights although it was a luck of the draw thing. Wrong colors, I thought. They were orange and blue, not reddish gold. Those are inappropriate to use for holidays, I thought. It’s not that I’m ungrateful for your gift, but you didn’t consider or take notes. White elephants are usually not thoughtful things, so I wouldn’t participate if I had a choice. In any case, please make sure your gift is inclusive, thoughtful, and kind this year. I had to tell my own parents that Denver has no indoor dining, same with Lakewood, etc etc. I told them that Olive Garden likely isn’t my choice of restaurant this year. GrubHub or Door Dash gift cards would be a better option and or a visa or something more flexible. It’s not that I’m telling them that I”m expecting this or that, or entitlement or all that. We are in a pandemic year, and restrictions are everywhere, so my parents should no doubt buy accordingly. If they send me that stupid card again, I’ll have to do curbside pickup for Olive Garden, the only restaurant that card goes to in Colorado. The other restaurants are in Florida, how convenient. But they have no locations near enough for myself and my partner. So we need to change how we do things, especially during Covid.

I hope everybody has a safe shopping experience. For tips on online shopping, you could turn to just about anyone for that. Pay attention to shipping deadlines, buy before deadlines and all that stuff. There’s something called shipageddon going on, which is sort of … well, shipments are overwhelming the system. Please, whatever you do, pay close attention to the deadlines for your kids and the adults in your life as well. Thank you for reading, and have a good Christmas. I hope to write more here soon.

Beth

Children’s Holiday Gift Guide

Dear readers,

While I don’t have any links to specific toys for your child, I do have some guidelines for parents shopping for a blind child today. For one, a lot of toys are interactive, board games seem visual, and there are a multitude of coding kits and so on, but almost none of the robots, board games, and educational games were made with blind children and adults in mind. I have blind parents who are enthusiastically trying to raise girls and boys and … well, nonbinary people too, of all ages and types. The big thing is that if your daughter wants a science toy, more power to her, but when you look at toys for blind kids, you have to look at toys the child can easily play with. Think about, for example, the toys you played with as a child if you’re the parent in this case. Did you like fashion dolls? Did you do beads? Sewing/ I can’t stand doing needlework, but I did do fashion dolls and stuff, but here’s the big thing: if youru son wants a doll, more power to him. Buy him that doll, even though your gendered programming may say otherwise. Here are some toys for all children you could try, and I’m not naming specifics, but here are some to buy and some to avoid.

1. Buy toys that educate, and think simple. Examples include Play Dough and slime. I did a ton of work with play dough when I was a kid, and there are still play dough kits and sets you can purchase online through Amazon. They have a compound kit for kids that’ pretty hot this year, so be on the look out. Play dough is a tactile alternative in my opinion to coloring books and such, where the coloring book has no tactile lines to color within. My mom had to puff paint one such book, and I’m not so sure those will work with totally blind kids with no color or light perception.

2. You can always get Star Wars toys. Those are always fun, but then there’s the risk of losing half the small pieces/parts and your 2-year-old mouthing those small parts and choking to death. Avoid buying small figures and small parts for the obviously very very small child. Just be careful, but if you have an older child who loves these toys, go for it.

3. For children who love being a bit nerdy or perhaps the child who is curious about the world around them, there are augmented reality toys and things that will quiz your kid on things like world geography and such, but I’d avoid those toys since they may require vision to operate and is the app accessible? That’s a question your blind child or you the parent should always always ask before you want to up and buy the latest gadget for your child.

4. For any child who is curious about women’s history, Pleasant Company has the American Girl collection, and I think they’ve come out with inclusive story lines and other things. If anything, books in the dolls’ collections may be in print, but there are Bard equivalents in the American Girl series available through NLS. Your child historian will enjoy these kinds of things, and these are stories as told through the eyes of such characters as a runaway slave, a Mexican immigrant, a Native American girl, a WWII era girl, a WWI era girl, and a girl from the Vietnam War era, and oh did I forget there’s a turn of the twentieth century girl too? And to round off all the girls, you have a colonial girl from Williamsburg, and it’s pretty interesting what the American Girl collection has in store for us these days. You could buy your own subscription to the American Girl magazine, I would hope it’s still there, but then there’s more to it than this. You can create customizable dolls with a variety of skin tones, abilities, and stories of their own. You can also buy lots of accessories for that doll. I want to point out that the Native doll is amazing, and she comes with different clothing and a powwow outfit and stuff like that. Through these dolls, your child will learn more about American women and, as an added bonus, literacy will come right along for the ride. Like I said, there are American girl stories available on NLS Bard, and you will be able to look at the history of each doll online.

5. Avoid toys that promote violence and gender discrimination. This may sound odd, but certain Disney characters may include the princess as a marriage piece. While it is okay as an adult to go through the Disney classics, I don’t want the next generation to get hurt when they realize that singing doesn’t get you anywhere, that marriage is not the end all destiny of every woman, and that dresses are not just women’s clothing today. These days, the princess culture can be seen as gendered and specifically geared toward putting a girl in her place. If your three year old daughter, however, wants a baby doll, fine. Just don’t necessarily emphasize caregiver roles for her. If your 6 year old son requests a paint ball gun, be smart about it. Why buy a paint ball gun for a boy his age? What will that encourage? My brother kept asking for a damn paint ball gun one year for Christmas, to which my mom said, I’m not buying it. Smart move, as this would have promoted violence against people. I don’t think paint balling is any fun when women in their underpants are forced to run around a little arena where men hunt them down and splatter them with paint from a gun. The women get paid, but I would feel sick about giving any male or female child a gun of any kind for Christmas.

6. Avoid toys that don’t include the child should this child be disabled. Also, if you have a black or mixed race child, there are plenty of inclusive options. There’s a Rosa Parks doll out there, but black fashion dolls are now becoming more needed than ever. Kids need to see themselves in the toys they play with, see themselves in stories they read. Refer to option 4 and learn about the American girl dolls I mentioned earlier. they have lots of dolls that are black, white, brown, whatever. Girls can customize the doll if they want to see themselves and write their own story.

7. For very young toddlers, see option 2, but avoid small parts and only buy toys that are easier to manage for this kind of child. Between 2 and 4 years of age, toys become things that a child can or will put in their mouths. You don’t want that to happen, so try buying toys that don’t promote wasteful packaging, contain small parts, or don’t have the bright fun coloring kids like. Toddlers of all types enjoy playing, no kidding, but plush toys and bigger packages and parts will work fine. IF your kid has any kind of diseases that include Pika, be careful when purchasing matchbox cars. Most kids love matchbox cars, even I had a couple of those myself.

8. Encourage your child to dream big. Buy them legos. when in doubt, buy legos, and legos are awesome. Why? Because everybody can play with them. Just remember, you don’t have to buy Lego Friends for your female child but if you wanted to buy that Harry Potter castle Hogwarts set for her, fine by me. You could also encourage your child to build legos into things they dream up, and here’s another reason why we need brainy people in the world. A seventh grader made a very much in need product out of lego blocks, a Braille embosser. Who knew! Legos are one of those fall back things you could try and when you buy them, encourage your kids to build the world they want to see.

9. Avoid the toys that belonged to a dead person. Depending on the psychological ramifications of a person’s death, please, I beg parents everywhere, listen to your child. the toy that belonged to someone in the family that choked to death or killed themselves is a recipe for disaster for the living child. Be extremely careful. Also avoid used and broken toys because what will your child say if your toys are broken before they have a chance to play with them?

10. Set a budget for all toys you buy for your kids. Given the Covid pandemic and so many families struggling financially, you might want to consider toys that are in budgetary consideration. Example, say you want to buy toys for four children, and you have a lot of bills to pay. Try setting a budget, say about $20 per child per toy. Or, you could try $25 per child per toy. Either way, budgetary concerns are real and you and your family may want to consider those a priority. $150 for all the kids’ toys is another idea, but don’t just go up and buy that Arendell play set from frozen because you can, and don’t just up and let your child purchase that thousand buck dollhouse and cookies. Oops, one six-year-old girl actually did that and her mom was like, what???? the mom and daughter eventually gave the stuff away to charity, and the mom? Well, she set up purchase pins and disabled voice purchasing for her daughter. Good on her because she couldn’t necessarily afford the cookies and the dollhouse. Ugh, the only thing a child really needs is validation, but pay attention to what the child says and does not say when you are surfing the web for gifts this year. If you are struggling, and cannot buy toys for your child at all, consider applying to do Toys for Tots. Toys for Tots is a very awesome organizational effort done by the U.S. Marine corps. they’ve been doing this for a long time. If you do have enough money, and you want to donate, consider donating money or a new unwrapped toy to Toys for Tots.

Be on the look out for the guide for adults, but for those families who fear Santa won’t be there, do not be alarmed at all. Santa will be socially distanced, or physically distanced should I say, for photos with the kids. Also, if you want to write a letter to Santa, write to 123 Elf Road, North Pole, 88888 as far as I know, and get your letters in for Operation Santa as soon as possible. The big man isn’t taking the year off.

Beth

It’s Time to Really Save the Children

Dear readers,

It is apparent that Q-Anon is trying to steal the save the children movement, and they want to make up stories about kids being trafficked without letting other media sources in on it. Here’s the deal: there are still children being sexually abused, and if you truly want to save them from the perils of sex abuse, here’s how you can do this.

Patriarchal behavior must end. Like now. Don’t let your older grandpas and fathers force affection on your young daughters and sons. It is very vital that daughters and sons alike learn boundaries and consent at an early age. Lets be clear: you want to hug your kids when they want to be hugged, especially after toddlerhood and that’s fine. however, the primary caregiver should be at least showing affection in alternative ways to their children. Babies must be held, I’m not arguing with that, and toddlers must be shown praise for good behavior and no praise for bad. The whole thing must be done right so that the kids’ development doesn’t reach a snag or they don’t suffer longterm into adulthood. So what could snag your daughter’s or son’s development? Patriarchal behavior from old men. So that means daughters don’t need to necessarily show affection when prompted, neither should sons. Since daughters have higher risk of getting pregnant at teen age, please, mothers and fathers, make sure you stress the importance of boundaries and consent with the boys and girls alike, but it will be especially helpful for daughters.

Sexual education must cover consent. Even from the youngest children, consent must be taught in school. Preschool kids have the highest risk of being sexually abused because they don’t understand certain things, things like date and time and frequency, and they aren’t fully developed adults, no kidding. These little ones also may not have the language and cognition to understand sexual body parts and the frequency of such parts being touched, and they may have to act it out in front of you in order for you to understand what happened. For example, if a boy is caught swaying his hips in a sexually suggestive manner, wetting his bed, etc., there could be the possibility of sex abuse. Stay calm and ask your kid, did someone touch you in a way you didn’t like? That’s the best way to go about it with a child so young, according to at least one source I’ve stuck with. Teenagers may be able to express frequency and time and all that, but they are still too young to consent to sexual activity, and should not be married off to their abuser. Seventeen-year-olds in my book should never have permission to marry because they won’t be protected in case of abuse. Child marriage I’ve written about, so go check it out.

Empathy and believing kids must happen. One of my friends believes her daughter, so that is a good thing, but so many parents out there are not believing young women and girls when they say someone raped them or told them they were worthless, tried to touch them, etc. Whatever you do, as a parent, believe your child. Yes, children can lie, but this is not something to lie about. I have said over and over again about how my ex was abusive, and how the community as a whole doesn’t believe me. Well, believing women and girls can change the world, can upend the patriarchal bad behavior of old and young men alike. We must do this in order to save our children. The only way to save all our kids is to believe the ones who are abused. This is vitally important. Just as important, believe it when your son says his preschool teacher’s aid has been fondling him. I thank you for reading and supporting this blog.

Beth

Alternatives to Guardianship: Why It Doesn’t Work, And What We As A Community Can Do About It

Dear readers,

I was the victim and survivor of guardianship abuse as done to me by my own parents. I have been on two shows talking about this thing, this monster that is attacking our elderly and disabled people. Let me explain further why we need to discuss alternatives.

Rod, age 86, is an elderly man who once rode into Bike Week, but now he’s been diagnosed with Dementia. He needs lots of care, twenty-four-seven care, so that he doesn’t wander outside and do various weird and dangerous things to the outside world. Should Rod be guardianized?

Catherine, age 94, has been spilling the beans, gossiping about her own family to some people, wandering outside, forgetting where she is and what she’s doing,, forgetting the big picture. She needs twenty-four-seven care to make sure she has food cooked properly in her kitchen, coffee in her pot, and needs medications to control other physical symptoms. Should Catherine be guardianized?

These vignettes are not the only ones. Take out the names, replace them with younger disabled people and their names and symptoms, and think clearly. Guardianship, as defined by law, is supposed to be a working relationship between a person and their vulnerable family members. However, let’s try a different vignette for this exercise.

Britney, age 21, wants to raise her boys on her own without much help with the day to day things she needs done. She has been on drugs and has gotten a DUI. She was admitted to the hospital twice, was stripped of custody of her two sons, and later put in a conservatorship costing upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars a month. She has become an ATM machine for her father, ex husband, and sons. Should Britney continue in her guardianship conservatorship?

Think about these vignettes. Britney, now aged 36 or thereabouts, or even older, should not be guardianized. Neither should Catherine or Rod. What is the commonality between these vignettes? All of these people are potential victims of guardianship related abuse. Catherine’s daughter is the only thing she has to care for her, and because of the crappy healthcare system we all live with, she doesn’t have the circle of supports necessary to live in her home. However, should there really be talk of nursing homes, assisted living, or anything else? Catherine, a woman of color in her 90s, should not be in any way placed in assisted living or nursing care because of the disproportionate number of abuse cases and the restrictions on visits due to covid 19. Rod, on the other hand, has a circle of support he needs to stay within the boundaries of his being. Britney, as everybody should know, has had her wealth stolen from her, ruined and defiled. Guardianship could also kill someone. See the next paragraph for more.

There is a book called Guardianships and the Elderly: the Perfect Crime, written by Sam J. Sugar, who has been through this dance for years. However, no volumes are available that cover the #freebritney movement or the plight of young and disabled guardianship survivors and victims. What are the results of such a book? Many people are aware of this evil, and they know it attacks our elders and most vulnerable, but it also goes after the healthy and wealthy like Britney.

What can we as a community do to stop this monster from attacking our elders and disabled folks? Here are a few ways we can discuss alternatives.

Let’s take the first step. Who can care for your elderly parent while you’re at work? IF your son or daughter doesn’t live near enough to the elder parent or grandparent, you might want to arrange for a babysitter for elderly people, better known as a caregiver or nurse, to come in and help your disabled or elderly family relative. There are many resources you can use, including a person centered approach. For Rod, he and his elderly counterparts need care that includes memory and other sorts of support and drilling to make sure his brain is working properly. He will also need a place to relax, chosen by him, that allows visitors and doesn’t have a high abuse and turnover rate. Nursing homes have that problem. While there are many dedicated nurses and doctors out there, yes, I’m talking to you front line people, there are still many more people in nursing homes who steal from elderly patients and liquidate their assets. This must be curbed and put in check.

A medical power of attorney is a way to do medical decisions without taking away vital rights, including that of voting, marriage, and social affairs. Elders need to be able to socialize so when Catherine gets isolated, why not take her to a recreational facility for elders or an adult day center? She can do things at the place, eat, hang out, and talk to others in her situation. Easter Seals offers adult day center care for disabled and elderly people, and if she cannot be at home, your elderly grandma or mother could benefit from the dedicated people at Easter Seals. They also have done things for kids, but still check out the benefits of elder socialization, letting your elderly charge take the wheel and have friends, hang out with people, and give others the chance to live. Statistics show that isolation can lead to early death among dementia patients, elderly Alzheimer’s disease patients, and many other elders. Hats off to the Japanese women living together at 95 years of age, not going anywhere, and hanging out with other elders in Japan. Japan has some of the best eldercare options in the world, and the most centenarians registered there. The Japanese respect their elders, as do so many other Asian cultures. However, the Western European principle applies here in North America, dump your elders in a nursing home and forget about them. This is bad not only for the person who does it, but for the elderly person themselves.

Younger people in nursing homes also will face abuse. Let’s take Britney for example. She cannot use her wealth much, and her father has hijacked her assets, and she could end up in a group or nursing home at age 70 or so. Her father will have been dead by then, and Britney will have no supports except her sons, who are young and want to live their own lives. What we need here is a cultural shift in attitude about the elders and disabled people. Even the Japanese have deemed blindness a curse from the gods, but what’s odd and ironic is that they put Braille on soda cans and guide strips on all the concrete floors of subway stations. I wonder if there is a possible cultural liberation of blind and disabled people in Japan going on. Elders in Japan, like I said, get the best treatments and care. Family is always around and the elders are a source of wisdom.

We as a community must learn to treasure our elders, even if they do have dementia symptoms and Alzheimer’s Disease. One thing we must do for our elders is reminisce with them about growing up. For example, I worked in a nursing home surrounded by elderly and infirmed or vulnerable people. I was able to play songs they all loved, and I was in charge of playing a lot of songs. My piano skills were pushed to the limits, but these people loved music, and some of the Alzheimer’s patients were ballroom dancers, so if you took their hand, they’d dance with you. Glenn Campbell is a famous example of a musician with Alzheimer’s Disease who died recently a couple years back. Mr. Campbell was so incoherent at speaking and remembering things, but he had it all in his head how to play the guitar, and he still played his guitar even after he was almost to death’s door. Music has that power to heal and make people feel good. If there is such a thing in Denver, I’d recommend the Good Memories Choirs. It’s a bunch of elders who sing in a choir, mostly old songs of course, but it helps them remember things. Catherine, for example, grew up in a time when lots of swing and big band jazz was played. The Great Depression and the years after that were full of great music, but most younger people would be darned if they had to learn Come Josephine In My Flying Machine, In the Good Old Summertime, and many other old favorites. So many younger kids aren’t learning music, just singing that annoying Baby Shark song that gets into everybody’s heads. That isn’t appropriate for a few reasons: it’s too repetitive and it uses the same words, even sometimes children’s songs don’t use words these days. Another way to bring back the liveliness of a discussion with an elderly grandparent and or parent, try singing songs they remember. Helen, age 72, from Florida, for example, might hear a song she remembers hearing from church at a nursing home, and it lifts her spirits up. My great grandmother, who I never even met, had many hymns she remembered from her church days, but I played many other songs on the piano that would get these people singing, remembering, all that stuff. If not that, try cooking a popular dish from that period of time.

Leaving our elders isolated and alone is not the answer, but what if your elder is deemed crotchety and frankly negative? There are ways to combat negative energy I could focus on in another blog post, but here’s something to remember: it is frustrating to adjust to any change when you’re older, finding out you can’t even cook for yourself, finding that you burn things, do things differently, can’t remember your grandchild’s name. Put yourself in your elder’s shoes. Rose, who died at age 93, could not remember whether I could do my hair on my own. I called her my Mimi. She was the only relative I could truly be myself with, and I looked forrward to her $5 gifts every birthday, and she would say, “Get whatever you want with that money.” I’d save it for lunch, as $5 would not get you much monetary things to begin with, except for lunch at school. Rose Gravina was the only relative I ever thought would even answer me when I was alone, and I gave her that opportunity to be herself. We had many a fine day together, but I wish I had asked her questions about her married life, when she got married, and her life in the roaring twenties. The 1920s was pretty much the teenage years and beyond for Rose, and she did end up getting married and having children, like any other woman would be expected to do that in her day. My father had been devastated when she died, walking into my room the night before I was supposed to leave for university in Tallahassee. I ended up not being able to attend Rose’s funeral because of college, and she would have wanted me to continue playing the piano and going to college. I will talk about end of life things in another post as well.

So what if your younger disabled family member drives you nuts and you perceive them as unable to handle life itself? So whawt if you had the guardianship discussion with your spouse or partner, your other children, but did not include your family member? Stop what you are doing, and put the pen and paper down. guardianship is hard to get out of once you get in, and it’s like quicksand, always grabbing you and pulling you in. It’s like a magnet and superglue and many other things I could say things about. However, think about alternatives first. For all of the elders in the vignettes, it should be clear that medical decisions can be removed through a durable power of attorney but not guardianship. Guardianship is too extreme on all circumstances, even Britney Spears, whose vignette appears above. So what if you are not a fan of Britney? I can relate because her father took advantage of the poor woman, and how she gets out I don’t know if we’ll ever see that.

I’d like to dedicate this post here to all the victims and survivors of guardianship abuse. Please feel free to take these steps to heart when you are caring for an elder or a disabled person. If a disabled person is so developmentally disabled that talking and doing various things isn’t an option, still, think about medicine. Love your family members with no conditions attached. Give selflessly to others, and when you yourself are older, you can do what you need to in order to make sure your affairs are taken care of. Do not let the courts decide who your family or your relative’s family can see.

Beth

Restitution Does Not Mean Entitlement.

Dear readers,

As a blind person who suffered 15 years of guardian abuse, I would like to offer victims hope that they can find their way out. There are a few hurdles though to doing this. One, I don’t live in NYC, where book publishing is a big business, where the Publishing Houses are. Second, who the hell would want to publish a book that pretty much sums up everything that happened in a nutshell, that I was emotionally and patriarchally abused by a mother that didn’t want an illegitimate blind child and by a bio dad that simply donated his sperm to the cause of creating havoc, and worse, an adoptive father who even suggests that I not see a man because he is “sexually experienced”? I pretty much went through all that stuff. Moreover, the stuff has left me with a few things. See below.

  1. High risk of having a special needs child because of old age.
  2. Not able to adopt because of low income, no housing that is appropriate for babies and toddlers and moreover, there’s no housing available anywhere in the United States. We don’t have a way to buy a proper shelter and get food and clothing for a child we adopt.
  3. No way to ensure the safety and education of both a child and spouse. My spouse to be is black, and that means police brutality has made its way into every aspect of my existence. I have to be the one to do everything, say everything to the cops, all that. Systemic racism has plagued this country forever, and I can’t even teach my mixed race kids one day, “Oh, they will help you find a lost puppy, those boys in the blue uniforms.” How does anyone expect my kids to be safe in the world?
  4. No way to get a job or go to college without filling out forms, that say I’m dependent on someone for finances. I can’t even work as a waitress because who will hire me? Nobody. My ex, Blake Tucker, was not hired at a fitness place for long, all because of blindness.

There are a lot of things Florida should consider. I should have had my job in hand, college degree and all, by 25 years old, should have found someone who would put up with the woman working. Parents oftentimes need two incomes to work, and raising kids sometimes requires the parent to separate and put the child in daycare, which I will not do because daycare statistically doesn’t really work for children with special needs. I’m talking about you autism and blind kid parents, parents with kids who have cerebral palsy and so much other disability related stuff. Daycare doesn’t always include those kids, and you have to hope and pray that pedophiles are not anywhere near your child’s daycare. I don’t want my kid coming home and swaying their hips in a sexually suggestive way at six years old, and performing oral sex on a sibling or pet. That would tell me something’s wrong. The child would not be in trouble, I’d say, but the adults would. That’s the thing, the adults who are taking care of my kid would be in big doo doo.

In any case, since I can’t get a job or can’t get a college degree without rehabilitative objections, I feel that restitution is in order, and here’s my plan: I’m going to discuss a settlement and support plan so that the county where the guardianship was posted will have to pay up. I can do nothing in return, except for publish my book, write a memoir, and do other things that allow me to express myself like write music. How I do it, nobody will need to know. However, the county should owe me support payments totalling upwards of millions of dollars, most of which will go into a startup to put the U.S. guardianship industry in check, and I will pay other people’s lawyer bills and be a witness to anyone who has disability that is currently under guardianship in court to pretty much put away the professionals who ruin the lives fo others with disabilities. Unlike me, though, most of the other guardian victims are elderly, live in the Sun Belt, and don’t do much else but get overmedicated in a nursing home, beat up by their caregivers, and a lot more. I want to dedicate this post to my dear friend, Laura, whose husband in Texas is being guardianized unfairly and he had lots of money to his name. I would gladly pay Laura a good portion of that money so that she could get a good lawyer and beat the crap out of the guardians holding her lover hostage. Laura had her story featured on Netflix’s Dirty Money episode, Guardians Incorporated. Please watch it, and if you are a Netflix subscriber, you’ll thank me in the end.

Here’s the plan for restitution that I plan to put up for Florida, and they must pay this or I’ll write the state off as unsafe for all kinds of people.

  1. 15 or $150,000,000 total for the restitution. That symbolizes 15 years, and if necessary, another bunch for the sixteenth year spent in process.
  2. Two thirds of the $150,000,000 will be used for the guardianship fund startup money, and all that will be used to evaluate and determine persons with disabilities who need to be freed from guardianship bondage throughout the United States, and as an example, Florida.
  3. The rest of the money will go toward housing, family expenses, and buying assets that can’t be bought due to income restrictions on SSI, SSDI, and lack of appropriate medical insurance. Because of the lack of a job, lack of college degree, and so on, there may need to be an extra $5,000,000 for a college degree outside the state in political science or creative writing. I will not use music as a primary degree due to the intensity of the requirements, juries, and practice. This is very important because most jobs won’t hire a blind person with no college degree.
  4. I will probably ask the state to revoke guardianship rights to my parents, and this will include their right to guardianize all family members, including but not limited to elders and disabled kids. No member of my family should be denying constitutional rights to disabled or elderly people based on perceived competence or lack thereof. My constitutional rights are granted to me by my creator as it says clearly in the preamble. A judge should not deny me those rights because of a disability or being female.

I also want to see if I can milk the hell out of the state for better therapy in my state of residence, and I won’t move to Florida because of the aiding and abetting guardian abuse that this state is famous for. Colorado therapists have trusted that they will make a better decision and I don’t trust Florida psychologists who are prone to racial bias and ableist bias because of their not knowing me, not knowing who I am, and so on. I have an appointment with a new psych doc, and she’s probably heard all the bad the good the rumors that the previous doc might have written in my chart. I want her to understand that Florida needs to know that I oversee all the things that I need done in the house, and I will not be made a slave to men, boys, and or family that wishes not to pay me. If my family wants me to be their maid, I won’t without charging extremely high prices and opening a maid business. They need to understand that my skills are supposed to be mine, not to be used or abused by family and other people who want me to fail.

There is one thing I want to point out. Anyone who associates with those who want me to fail should realize that stalking and harassment are crimes, and W.D. and an ex of mine are now going to be under investigation. My ex at least will be under investigation and he will be taken down. He doesn’t get it. I’ve been through hell with him, and so have other girls.

Please support the blog. I also have a new podcast episode about schools, so please check it out and be safe and well.

Beth

My Crappy Day At Work

Dear Parents, Jessey, and all others who’ve decided to accuse me of lying about the coming of Blake,

First off, I did NOT lie to Jessey, that’s right.  I didn’t lie.  Something came up in December right in the middle, and I held out hope that Blake would come, but the family came and took that away from me.  Second, I will not have you crushing my dreams, telling me I have to take an “entry level” job.  That will not pay off my debt.  I”m sorry, but that debt has to go away, and it will be paid by the entity who stole my dreams away: Rehab.  Rehab tld me I was no good at social work, could not go to college, etc.  They wanted “appropriate work behaviors.”  Give me a break!  I’m done here, done.  IF you want a performance review that says, “exceeds good standard behavior,” all entities written to in this note, you had better stop crushing my dreams.  I’m done trying to hide myself frrom you, Jess.  I know you want me to do this entry level work, but I’m sorry.  You can’t make me, and I won’t.  Why?  It’s too much, and transit will not be reliable at night if they ask for a night clerk.  I cannot work as a night clerk, period.  I can decide what employment I want, but a guardian is a predatory thing.

To Rehab, you guys just pony up and pay the debt yourselves.  This is not a valid debt, and I want to go to college so I can get a good job provided this Voice thing doesn’t work out.  It won’t.  The producers won’t let a blind person on the show because they won’t think I can take care of myself, and they want visuals: makeup, hair, poppish breasts, etc.  You don’t understand that this is what they want for television personalities too.  At least there was a lady on Wesh who was pregnant, the meteorology lady Amy Sweezy.  She got pregnant, and Mom I remember looked once at her and said, “Oh God, she’s gonna pop any moment.”  Jessey and Richele, do not accuse me of lying at work or at home.  Do not haunt me in my dreams before I explode!  I won’t, I repeat, won’t be going anywhere near college until Rehab pays the debt.

AS for the parents, it’s your guardianship that made things too complicated for my educational future.  I will not pay the college debt.  IF you do not pay it, parents, you’ll be in bigger trouble than you now, and it’s all because you got what you wanted.  You can’t have everything you want just because you’re so “concerned” about your poor baby’s welfare.  Well, guess what?  You’re being severely punished because all the times I’ve lived with you all, you’ve tried to stop me from writing things against you.  What do you want me to say?  Oh, I love you guys.  Oh, you are the best parents a girl could ask for.  Bull.  I’m sorry, but you people have tried to crush my dreams, and you have tried to do it, but you will not.  I will make the producers on the Voice accept the audition and let me on the show.  I will fly to Los Angeles, into the arms of my Blake, and when Blake in Arizona finds out what you’ve done, you will, I repeat will, I promise, have lots of money to pay.  You won’t do this to me again.  I can’t have your way with me.  I want it my way or the highway.  I’m sorry you feel that this is “inappropriate”, but you will not try and erase the writing.  You’ve tried to do it to me before.  Remember?  I was seventeen or nineteen at the time.  You refused to allow me to create things without you staring at it.  You had no respect for me, my privacy, my self worth and dignity.  Goodbye.

As to Blake, you are the greatest thing in the world that has ever lived, and you will always be on my mind.  Blake Tucker, you really have made my day better.  IF only you were awake at this very moment, in Denver, in my arms, so I could hold you tight, so I could kiss your wine-red lips, so I could hold your soft skinned hands.  I want to feel your breath around me, over me, through me.  I want you, more than anything else.  Blake, you were supposed to come here, and God almighty knows I’ll be on the phohne with the Clerk’s office immediately after I wake up at seven MDT.  Blake, don’t worry about me so much unless you mean to.  I love you, and I will never leave you.  Don’t leave me.

As for Lily and Deanna at Bayaud, you ladies rocked the house.  Deanna, you look lovelier than I thought.  Forget about the weight.  Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  Lily is cool, and she’s the first person I met at the place.  As for my coworkers, thanks a bunch.  I won’t give any more names of any more people for fear I might be going nuts.  Perhaps this blog will go down in history as the rant of the century, but I must go and do something else.

I’m not kidding.

Thanks a lot.

Beth