Restitution Does Not Mean Entitlement.

Dear readers,

As a blind person who suffered 15 years of guardian abuse, I would like to offer victims hope that they can find their way out. There are a few hurdles though to doing this. One, I don’t live in NYC, where book publishing is a big business, where the Publishing Houses are. Second, who the hell would want to publish a book that pretty much sums up everything that happened in a nutshell, that I was emotionally and patriarchally abused by a mother that didn’t want an illegitimate blind child and by a bio dad that simply donated his sperm to the cause of creating havoc, and worse, an adoptive father who even suggests that I not see a man because he is “sexually experienced”? I pretty much went through all that stuff. Moreover, the stuff has left me with a few things. See below.

  1. High risk of having a special needs child because of old age.
  2. Not able to adopt because of low income, no housing that is appropriate for babies and toddlers and moreover, there’s no housing available anywhere in the United States. We don’t have a way to buy a proper shelter and get food and clothing for a child we adopt.
  3. No way to ensure the safety and education of both a child and spouse. My spouse to be is black, and that means police brutality has made its way into every aspect of my existence. I have to be the one to do everything, say everything to the cops, all that. Systemic racism has plagued this country forever, and I can’t even teach my mixed race kids one day, “Oh, they will help you find a lost puppy, those boys in the blue uniforms.” How does anyone expect my kids to be safe in the world?
  4. No way to get a job or go to college without filling out forms, that say I’m dependent on someone for finances. I can’t even work as a waitress because who will hire me? Nobody. My ex, Blake Tucker, was not hired at a fitness place for long, all because of blindness.

There are a lot of things Florida should consider. I should have had my job in hand, college degree and all, by 25 years old, should have found someone who would put up with the woman working. Parents oftentimes need two incomes to work, and raising kids sometimes requires the parent to separate and put the child in daycare, which I will not do because daycare statistically doesn’t really work for children with special needs. I’m talking about you autism and blind kid parents, parents with kids who have cerebral palsy and so much other disability related stuff. Daycare doesn’t always include those kids, and you have to hope and pray that pedophiles are not anywhere near your child’s daycare. I don’t want my kid coming home and swaying their hips in a sexually suggestive way at six years old, and performing oral sex on a sibling or pet. That would tell me something’s wrong. The child would not be in trouble, I’d say, but the adults would. That’s the thing, the adults who are taking care of my kid would be in big doo doo.

In any case, since I can’t get a job or can’t get a college degree without rehabilitative objections, I feel that restitution is in order, and here’s my plan: I’m going to discuss a settlement and support plan so that the county where the guardianship was posted will have to pay up. I can do nothing in return, except for publish my book, write a memoir, and do other things that allow me to express myself like write music. How I do it, nobody will need to know. However, the county should owe me support payments totalling upwards of millions of dollars, most of which will go into a startup to put the U.S. guardianship industry in check, and I will pay other people’s lawyer bills and be a witness to anyone who has disability that is currently under guardianship in court to pretty much put away the professionals who ruin the lives fo others with disabilities. Unlike me, though, most of the other guardian victims are elderly, live in the Sun Belt, and don’t do much else but get overmedicated in a nursing home, beat up by their caregivers, and a lot more. I want to dedicate this post to my dear friend, Laura, whose husband in Texas is being guardianized unfairly and he had lots of money to his name. I would gladly pay Laura a good portion of that money so that she could get a good lawyer and beat the crap out of the guardians holding her lover hostage. Laura had her story featured on Netflix’s Dirty Money episode, Guardians Incorporated. Please watch it, and if you are a Netflix subscriber, you’ll thank me in the end.

Here’s the plan for restitution that I plan to put up for Florida, and they must pay this or I’ll write the state off as unsafe for all kinds of people.

  1. 15 or $150,000,000 total for the restitution. That symbolizes 15 years, and if necessary, another bunch for the sixteenth year spent in process.
  2. Two thirds of the $150,000,000 will be used for the guardianship fund startup money, and all that will be used to evaluate and determine persons with disabilities who need to be freed from guardianship bondage throughout the United States, and as an example, Florida.
  3. The rest of the money will go toward housing, family expenses, and buying assets that can’t be bought due to income restrictions on SSI, SSDI, and lack of appropriate medical insurance. Because of the lack of a job, lack of college degree, and so on, there may need to be an extra $5,000,000 for a college degree outside the state in political science or creative writing. I will not use music as a primary degree due to the intensity of the requirements, juries, and practice. This is very important because most jobs won’t hire a blind person with no college degree.
  4. I will probably ask the state to revoke guardianship rights to my parents, and this will include their right to guardianize all family members, including but not limited to elders and disabled kids. No member of my family should be denying constitutional rights to disabled or elderly people based on perceived competence or lack thereof. My constitutional rights are granted to me by my creator as it says clearly in the preamble. A judge should not deny me those rights because of a disability or being female.

I also want to see if I can milk the hell out of the state for better therapy in my state of residence, and I won’t move to Florida because of the aiding and abetting guardian abuse that this state is famous for. Colorado therapists have trusted that they will make a better decision and I don’t trust Florida psychologists who are prone to racial bias and ableist bias because of their not knowing me, not knowing who I am, and so on. I have an appointment with a new psych doc, and she’s probably heard all the bad the good the rumors that the previous doc might have written in my chart. I want her to understand that Florida needs to know that I oversee all the things that I need done in the house, and I will not be made a slave to men, boys, and or family that wishes not to pay me. If my family wants me to be their maid, I won’t without charging extremely high prices and opening a maid business. They need to understand that my skills are supposed to be mine, not to be used or abused by family and other people who want me to fail.

There is one thing I want to point out. Anyone who associates with those who want me to fail should realize that stalking and harassment are crimes, and W.D. and an ex of mine are now going to be under investigation. My ex at least will be under investigation and he will be taken down. He doesn’t get it. I’ve been through hell with him, and so have other girls.

Please support the blog. I also have a new podcast episode about schools, so please check it out and be safe and well.


Updates and more

Dear readers,

JOrge is doing okay, and as it turns out, the block on Twitter was a deactivation. Please forgive the miscommunication. I’d been going through a lot in this year, and it didn’t occur to me that this guy would ever go through the same things I have, and there are a lot of things I have to clear up. But what I have to deal with these days is anything but fun. No way can I shop for wedding dresses without people getting suspicious. I can’t even have bridesmaids and a flower girl. What is the freaking point? There is none. And I had no idea what was happening to my friend, and he had to change his phone number, so good thing I deleted it. Again, forgive the miscommunication, but blocking on twitter does say a lot. I blocked W.D. on twitter because he was a bad and evil persona who wanted to okay abuse and isolation of elderly and disabled people. what a sorry mess he is.

Thank you all for reading this.


Say Yes to Giving a Dress?????? Stimulus Check could Determine Whether I Do

Dear readers,

I am only able to do a love ceremony, but I’m going to tell you all this right now: not in my birthday suit. And I won’t wear regular clothes to a courthouse to do it because my partner’s healthcare will be lost. Human Services is already playing tricks on us to try and stop fraud and abuse, which is stupid. As a blind bride to be, I will never be considered for charities like those who donate wedding gowns and such because I’m not doing a legal wedding per se, and i don’t want to take my partner’s last name. I will bow to no one, even a bad old guard style patriarchal God. Why? Because I’ve been excluded and called a whore at churches, and nobody believes this story. I’ve been voted out of a church and nobody believes this story. As a blind bride to be who will never be able to do the front line work for the pandemic, I will be excluded further. I am begging my readers to believe my story, and take action. Why? Read on.

As Congress sits there debasing any argument for disability care, chipping away at our rights, I am wondering if I’ll even get a stimulus check of $1200 from Congress and the IRS to make up for the lost money that I could have earned from the pandemic. That money is quite helpful, and I can use it to get food delivered, get food period, and have good food in my home. However, we planned to use the next check on getting rid of the smelly nasty old mattress we have to sleep on, that we’re constantly covering with febreze and we’re constantly having to air out because it smells. Ugh. And we want to get a groom’s ring, and a dress for me. The dress is the most important expense I’d say we would use it for. Nobody wants to support us in getting the dress, so if Congress doesn’t believe my story and doesn’t want me to have a good so called love ceremony, they can go straight down there because I don’t know what to do. There was one boutique we found, but they’re in Westminster, where my old church is built. Ugh. I am not happy with the church’s decision, and the doctrinal guidelines of many religious institutions say that you have to be legally married to live with your partner, that it has to be a heterosexual relationship. Boo on the homophobia, and I won’t be in need of a male pastor or celebrant. I’d prefer a female of all things, and someone I’m close to that can deal with the situation as is.

As for the dress, I am not raising money for the dress. I’m not raising money and getting attacked. That’s all I get is attacks and so on. I’ve even tried calling the KUSA team at Nine News, but no response. Ugh. Am I really supposed to believe I’m a nobody who deserves nothing? This pandemic is killing a whopping 150,000 plus people, and I know it, but I’m sick of being a nobody that nobody wants to support. I want friends who actually give a damn and people who won’t attack me for saying my family sucks and they are so toxic they don’t deserve to come to the love ceremony. Ugh. Spiritual marriage only, that’s the route we’re taking because of the SSI program and the SSDI program’s mandated restrictions, and that’s just wrong. Plain wrong. I hate to be a beggar, but I have to say, please, if you want to send me a dress at all, it has to be red, not white, not off white. Red. Please, no white lacey gowns with bows or ribbons that make it look like a toddler’s nightgown. Please make sure you send the dress if you’re interested, if you care, or if you want to be the one to make this ceremony happen. Please, if you read this, I’m not a front line worker because of my disability, but disability should not stop me from getting the kind of help I need right now. And it’s not just the dress either. I wish I didn’t have to do this thing online, but we have to. Point the camera here, point the camera there. I am unable to see where to point. So if you are in Colorado, know me well at all, and you’re reading this, please, feel free to drop by the house/apartment. Feel free to help point the camera because I should not have to. Decorate my place because we can’t have it in the park, or in a public space. Ugh. Okay, but please help decorate the place because I’m not that great with that, and visually stunning? This apartment is shabby and crappy, though there are some nice pieces in it, it is still crappy. No matter what you do with this, it is crappy.

Thank you for your help in advance.