The 2019 Year End Rap up

Dear readers,

I want to wish everybody a happy new Year, and with that said, here is a list of twelve things, one per month, that happened in 2019.

  1. Lots of tech came into our home this year, including a new phone for Trenton and later, a Mac for me. January began as all Januaries do, cold and brutal.
  2. I started a lifestyles clinic, and discovered more about me that I could not discover outside the clinic.
  3. I gained a fan, though there were many people I’ve had to give up on along the way. Some of these people are insensitive to mentally ill people, slut shame women, and take pride in calling me entitled because they’re jealous of how many likes and follows I got on Twitter. These people also don’t understand that there are predators among us in the blind community, and they only want to protect predators. For more on this in general, read Ronan Farrow’s book, Catch and Kill, and you’ll be able to pin this tactic to what these Casanovas are doing.
  4. I was assaulted by a girl I thought shared a lot in common with me, but she turned sour because all she really cares about is one man, a recent ex who quit talking to me. He got bought out by a wealthy woman in Arizona who is despised by my friend Clayton, but this woman is buying people’s brains with her money, and she inadvertently bought out my old friend’s brain and my ex’s brain too.
  5. We went on without the girl, and both myself and Trenton had made a website and a discord server, more on that later, but then I tried to figure out Discord too. We discovered that this app is now usable by blind people.
  6. I joined the Denver Women’s choir that last May, and ended up doing a concert in July or so to commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of the Stonewall riots. For more, see previous blog posts on the subject. Sorry if I didn’t tag any of those.
  7. I continued with Soar, and Trenton swears he’s going to support them with his money. Great, because I can’t do the dues, but Denver Women’s chorus wants me to pay $5 dues every month. Their justification is that not everything is free, but well goddamn! I have to pay bills, and everything in life has a bill to it, but here’s the kicker: on SSI, you don’t get more than $800 and the raise isn’t always enough. Period.
  8. I discovered that not having a religion or practicing Pagan religions is better than practicing something you can’t practice because of exclusion and otherwise bad doctrine that conflicts with legal issues regarding marriage and disability. Wicca does not permit anyone to shit on other human beings, and I see no point in elaborating further on the subject because I could be judged.
  9. I tried a Star Trek roleplaying by email game, only to be removed because I supposedly failed their training. Ugh. Okay, but what am I going to do now? My life sucks anyway because I don’t have employment prospects still, and I won’t tell you why.
  10. I’ve spent the better parts of my 2019 battling the Jason Owenses of the world. I mentioned earlier that there are predators among us, and he is one of those people. I wrote a #metoo story about Jason and how we interacted and how he was poorly raised or now being enabled, and worse off, he hurt women and girls in the blind community. To the men out there who think this is abominable, well, if you help someone who traffics in victims and or tries to create victims, you are creating the victims yourselves. For example, let’s say Jason produced porn. I’m just saying. What if he produced child porn on his own, and had edited a child pornographic site. If he did this, he’d be creating victims of the children used for such enterprise. Jason thankfully never produced such things, but other men are helping him and standing up for him and not me. This has to stop, and I will continue to fight for women and girls with disabilities who might fall into this monster’s hands.
  11. I met the most amazing dear friends. Let me highlight these people. Clayton, who is a gifted and talented blind inventor, entrepreneur, rapper, and musician after my own heart; and Britney C., a flute player who swears she’s a fan of all things in my blog. I’d like to point to her blog, Life in the Key of Britney. She has the same things in mind that I had years ago. I’ll talk about the decade in a second but really, Clayton and Britney are the coolest friends I’ve run into. Clayton was one of two people I had problems with in March, but he was the only one of two people that ran off that actually came back. As Eddie Murphy’s character in Shrek often says when Shrek asks why the hell Donkey came back, and why he bothers to hang around, “That’s what friends do. They forgive each other!” And that’s what I’d like to say Clayton did, but someone else did not. It’s times like these you know who your friends are.
  12. Trenton swears he won’t be on Facebook, but I’m trying and failing to get him to see that everybody has one. But in social media news, it was done in the name of sanity when the two people I mentioned earlier that assaulted me or cozied up with wealthy benefactors blocked me. They two got blocked on Trenton’s Facebook because of toxicity and their wish to break us up. Overall, this year we became a stronger couple. Yes, we fight sometimes, but we do it fairly. We managed to get through couples’ counseling, which I would have required of any guy because the guy would have to learn to cope with me. I have been the victim of fifteen years of guardianship abuse.

Now, here are the things that happened in the decade, and moreover, these are ten things that highlight each of the years of the 2010s.


  1. 2010 started out as a difficult year. I applied and was denied the chance to go to training at CCB, only to have the Client assistance program tell my parents that fine, she can go to this, but you have to pay $3000 per month she’s there. My parents had no choice. I would not go to Louisiana because, as I’d later say, it’s a red state and it’s too fat, no healthcare, no Title II services or birth control, too Catholic for me. I started in Colorado that May. And I haven’t gone back except for Christmas vacation. I converted to Islam that year, but later, discovered it wasn’t right. See next highlights.
  2. 2. 2011 was the year I ended up not only trying to get back on my feet in college, it was the year I graduated CCB in April of that year. My boyfriend at the time was one of my biggest cheerleaders. Okay, really, I had a cheering section. Now he’s married to someone else, so I won’t go into his life here much.
  3. In 2012, I ended up meeting a guy who would change all the things I thought about men. I left the Islamic community because of concerns about the treatment of women, and I read a lot of books and literature discussing such things. I saw a lot happen in the news that convinced me that Islamic doctrine did not permit blind women to marry blind men, and there was too much ableism in the community in Denver, but it would not have mattered. Jason Owens changed everything. I realize now that because of Jason, I can’t be so sure that someone is legitimately in love with me. Jason ruined my perception of males, and I no longer respect any man who thinks that women are property. Worse, these men say that women should, as property, hold no property.
  4. In 2013, I ended up breaking ties with Jason, and barely struggled to get to the bottom of why he was who he was. In the midst of all this, there was Blake. Blake and I have still been friends since 2010, when we both went to CCB. Blake was seriously in love with me, and we tried. We tried dating in turn for two years and a half, and it wasn’t as big a waste as I thought, but there was a problem.
  5. In 2014, nothing much happened. I did not understand why it all did. The biggest thing that did happen was if I’m not mistaken, Blake’s brother was gunned down by a possessive girlfriend. I started this blog, and became an advocate of gun control and I still want to see an end to gun violence.
  6. In 2015, sadly, Blake and I were history. We broke up that December, and I don’t get this. He was insecure about things like a woman’s right to her body, blatantly telling me I could not have a vibrator or any other supplementary material regarding sexual matters, which bothers me to this day. This is a boundary I could never tell him he crossed, for he could have gotten crosser with me. This is probably why I won’t ever get back with him. Or anyone else, and that December, I met someone else who would ruin things and later, could have changed what it meant to me to be a liberal. Joey was not the smartest chip on the old block, but I thought he was appropriate. He didn’t seem judgmental, but his parents? Oops, judgments rained down on all sides in all places. The Hagemeier family seems to have worn out their welcome because of homophobia and transphobic comments made about friends, and I’ll discuss later why I have cut ties with such individuals. Joey Hagemeier might have seemed nice on the outside but see the next post for more.
  7. It was in 2016 that I met Trenton, but it was in dire circumstances. Joey broke it off too early, of course. He doesn’t know how to treat girls, I thought, and if this is how I’m going to be disposed of, I’m done dating. But then I remembered how isolated I became only in that one month alone. Trenton came into my life, a lover of tech and games, but still a drummer, which to me isn’t a troublemaker in this sense. Trenton is not a troublemaker, but he plays a better drum anyway. We both marched to the beat of the drum together, and have done so for four years.
  8. I joined the Soar Youth and Adult Choir in 2017. It is amazing what that choir has done for both myself and Trenton.
  9. Last year, in 2018, we had decided to try and plan our commitment ceremony, or an unregistered wedding per se. This is unsuccessful because of the following things: loss of friends, no prospects for moving to a better place, and of course, the lack of support from the bridal family.
  10. This past year has been fruitful, and joining the Denver Women’s chorus was the best thing that happened. The guardianship will be gone as of February of the coming year, and there will not be a parent’s name on medical charts. This way, my babies will be safe, Trenton will be safe, and we will have a family. See my previous post for my wish list.

Here’s to the previous decade, and cheers to a brand new year and decade of writing. In 2010, I got my Twitter. Later, I started writing this blog. And moreover, Facebook got bigger and better, but now it crashes. It won’t in a while. Happy new year, all.


Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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