If I were Truly Cognitively Impaired, what Would I Do?

This message posting is addressed to some people. There are now five people who do not wish to see me succeed or marry the man of my dreams or make a home of my own or they think I need group home care. For one, disabled people do not always have to have a group home care. Why not care in home? Yes, expensive, but no, it is necessary. Group home care is assembly line based, and it’s stupid. My thoughts on group care are the following:
1. It’s forced half the time.
2. Someone who is in a group home may find it hard to deal with.
3. The roommate who rooms with you could be really bad, and yes, they could run the gamut of talking about weird stuff like spirits and the like to smelling so bad they need to go to the bathroom and that they really need to get the hell out of the bedroom. They could also be anywhere from creepy to downright threatening.
4. Your board and care staff could run the gamut of too nice to too mean.
5. You have to get up at certain times, eat certain foods you don’t or can’t eat, and do certain activities that do not accommodate you.
6. You are restricted from the community’s view for 20 hours a day. In my friend Nick’s case, you can’t be in the community for longer than three hours a day. What does that say about us people with disabilities? We’re not hidden from the world, right? But in group facilities, yes we are.
7. Group homes sometimes abuse, malnourish, and rape the disabled women. Now, there are some good board and care facilities, and there are some people who live in those places. But there are even more bad ones that have to shutter forever.
Now, if I were cognitively impaired, I’d be in those group facilities, assembly line help and all. Now, what do you think qualifies you to be in a group home? Let’s see: nothing really. What job qualifications do group home workers have to have? Nothing, really. Most group home workers do not have the slightest idea of what to do with disabled adults or children. So let’s see who benefits and who did not do well in group care.

Let’s take a few profiles of people who did not do well in group care. Let’s see: Jenny Hatch, age 29, who is a Down’s Syndrome child. She could’ve died in the womb due to abortion, but she made it, became a hero for others with disabilities, and went away from group care where yes, they punish you for breaking what they perceive as the rules. I should’ve said this earlier, but group care requires all the disabled inmates to comply with what the staff want or be punished. This means possibly for me, not seeing Blake, for Nick it means not talking to anyone online, but for some others it might have to be that way. I hope that my friend Katie doesn’t have this issue. She wants a board and care facility. But here’s the big question bugging me: will said facility have punishing rooms and rules regarding this? We know that punishment is something kids get, not adults who are law abiding citizens. Ok, should Blake be punished for having a romantic evening with me if I lived in a group care facility in Colorado or Florida? No. Blake should have any right to me he wants, just as Bryan does his wife. Just as every other disabled couple fights for their rights to sex and other things that come with marriage, I will do the same for both me and the spouse I choose. I will not marry a sighted and healthy spouse because of the custodial views of the four people I’m about to name. Five people rather.
The people on this list I’m about to write out are people who believe I need custody, guardianship, no marriage, no freedom, and people that are ultimately not going to get what they want because they just can’t have it. I’m not going to talk about this any further when I’m done here, but let’s name these people, claim these people, and attempt to tame the situation. It’s an old thing a librarian told us at Catholic school: name it, claim it, tame it. So, let’s name the problem. It’s not me. It’s them. And it’s a sin called jealousy.
Now, the people responsible are very very sensitive about this, but here’s what I found out. Mabelin lied to me about not talking to Jessica, so yeah. Anyhow, here are the people I’d like to identify as the problems:
RJ Sandefur
Chantel Cuddemi
Jessica Watson-Grabowski
Mabelin Ramirez
Cindy Estrada

All of these people are noted to be jealous of me having a good guy, having a place to myself, having the run of the day. You guys don’t know what it’s like to really be me. If I could clone myself and give you guys a brain each, I’d do it. Anyway, let’s claim the problems. These five names I have listed here are jealous. We identify that they are absolutely deadly envious of my relationships and status in life. Let’s say that they must own up to their issue. How can we tame the problem? Simple as this: they need education and to spend the rest of their lives regretting what they did to me. If I were cognitively deficient, here’s what I’d probably want you to ask me:
1. Who are you?
2. Who is that man standing in front of you?
3. Whose voice is it?
4. Who is talking to you?
5. Who do you want to marry? Rod Stewart for Heaven’s sake?
6. What is today’s date?
7. What is the President of the United States? Or rather who is it?
8. Are you able to see my face? This isn’t fair due to blindness which won’t go away.
9. Do you love Blake?
10. Does he love you?

Now, here’s what I’d answer to those five or ten questions that prove I am hell as not cognitively deficient or impaired.
1. I am Beth Taurasi. My full name is Elizabeth Ann Taurasi. And I personally hate my last name because it’s full of bull. No shit included.
2. What man?> I’m watching Reba. Ask me when I get to the courtroom.
3. What? Blake’s?
4. No one is talking to me, but I do remember that Mary, the lady that cleans my house up talked to me last. Again, wait until the court hearing, dirtbag.
5. Blake Tucker, duh.
6. . April 29, 2015 is today’s date. And yes, that’s two complete sentences for both the date and the fact that I even wrote that sentence.
7. The President is Barack Obama, and I can go as far back as some of the others: George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan (who peacefully died), Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford, Richard Nixon, … that’s about as far as I can go. I wasn’t alive during those times, but I heard a million bits about those presidents.
8. Duh, I’m blind.
9. Yes, I love Blake.
10. Duh, he loves me. Why are you asking these questions, judge and lawyer. I’m fine. My brain works. For Heaven’s sake, if I were Terry Shiavo, I wouldn’t want to be a fruit sitting on a tree waiting for some bozo to pick me off.
Now, if I were really cognitively impaired, let’s see, I wouldn’t do a lot.
1. I would have to benefit from group care.
2. I wouldn’t have answered any of the questions, and there is a right or wrong to some, but not all of the questions.
3. I’m not sure I’d be able to accept the truth of everything.
4. I wouldn’t do anything for people or maybe I’d hurt them.
5. I’d abuse a spouse or child.
6. I’d be stupid if I were this way, and not graduate high school on time, which I did.
7. I wouldn’t discern the difference between love and hate.
8. I’d cheat on Blake.
9. I’d enjoy the look on Blake’s face while cheating is done.
10. I’d watch porn.
11. I wouldn’t watch porn or I’d walk around naked in my house.
12. I’d not be able to speak.
13. Nobody would know my name.
14. I wouldn’t remember who anyone was.
15. I’d be dead. About 80% of the blind are cheaters or they don’t know what love is. Blake was able to tell me in actions, not just words, what love was. My ex, Deq, did the same. I am blessed to have had plenty of amazing people in my life who really understand and care about me, including Katie. So yeah.
If anyone wants to question what I just wrote, or continue acting jealous about me and what I have, there’s always two sides to every story. As Kyle commented on a previous post, I spoke about the guardianship like I should: like a strong woman. My parents don’t realize who this girl is, a stronger lady than they made me out to be. So next time any one person online wants to question the love that I have for Blake, or the abilities I have to cook and eat food, or whatever, think about yourselves and pick on someone metaphorically your own size.
Thanks for reading.
Beth

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

2 thoughts on “If I were Truly Cognitively Impaired, what Would I Do?”

  1. anypeople who want to bully and degrade you should be thinking before they say anything or their actions. I’ve never questioned anything regarding you and blake nor will I ever. blind people and people who have disabilities shouldn’t be pitting themselves against each other but then again disability or not we shouldn’t be fighting against each other about jealousy I know what I’m saying is probably far from satisfactory for you to respond to this and you’ve got every chance of trashing it it’s so hard to understand too many people are jealous of what others have even if it’s in relation to relationships and lifestyles. we should treat other people how we want to be treated and not question anything. oh we can ask questions but don’t act jealous about it

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  2. Kyle, you’re right. I did not trash your comment for a reason. People with disabilities judge each other by ability. We live in an Ableist society, and your abilities are judged. It’s not the content of your true nature, but your abilities. Judging by the fact that, for instance, you couldn’t comb your hair, take showers, or brush your teeth, a girl may say she doesn’t want you. That’s how I was treated in FL with guys. So yeah. You’re right.

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