It’s Time to Really Save the Children

Dear readers,

It is apparent that Q-Anon is trying to steal the save the children movement, and they want to make up stories about kids being trafficked without letting other media sources in on it. Here’s the deal: there are still children being sexually abused, and if you truly want to save them from the perils of sex abuse, here’s how you can do this.

Patriarchal behavior must end. Like now. Don’t let your older grandpas and fathers force affection on your young daughters and sons. It is very vital that daughters and sons alike learn boundaries and consent at an early age. Lets be clear: you want to hug your kids when they want to be hugged, especially after toddlerhood and that’s fine. however, the primary caregiver should be at least showing affection in alternative ways to their children. Babies must be held, I’m not arguing with that, and toddlers must be shown praise for good behavior and no praise for bad. The whole thing must be done right so that the kids’ development doesn’t reach a snag or they don’t suffer longterm into adulthood. So what could snag your daughter’s or son’s development? Patriarchal behavior from old men. So that means daughters don’t need to necessarily show affection when prompted, neither should sons. Since daughters have higher risk of getting pregnant at teen age, please, mothers and fathers, make sure you stress the importance of boundaries and consent with the boys and girls alike, but it will be especially helpful for daughters.

Sexual education must cover consent. Even from the youngest children, consent must be taught in school. Preschool kids have the highest risk of being sexually abused because they don’t understand certain things, things like date and time and frequency, and they aren’t fully developed adults, no kidding. These little ones also may not have the language and cognition to understand sexual body parts and the frequency of such parts being touched, and they may have to act it out in front of you in order for you to understand what happened. For example, if a boy is caught swaying his hips in a sexually suggestive manner, wetting his bed, etc., there could be the possibility of sex abuse. Stay calm and ask your kid, did someone touch you in a way you didn’t like? That’s the best way to go about it with a child so young, according to at least one source I’ve stuck with. Teenagers may be able to express frequency and time and all that, but they are still too young to consent to sexual activity, and should not be married off to their abuser. Seventeen-year-olds in my book should never have permission to marry because they won’t be protected in case of abuse. Child marriage I’ve written about, so go check it out.

Empathy and believing kids must happen. One of my friends believes her daughter, so that is a good thing, but so many parents out there are not believing young women and girls when they say someone raped them or told them they were worthless, tried to touch them, etc. Whatever you do, as a parent, believe your child. Yes, children can lie, but this is not something to lie about. I have said over and over again about how my ex was abusive, and how the community as a whole doesn’t believe me. Well, believing women and girls can change the world, can upend the patriarchal bad behavior of old and young men alike. We must do this in order to save our children. The only way to save all our kids is to believe the ones who are abused. This is vitally important. Just as important, believe it when your son says his preschool teacher’s aid has been fondling him. I thank you for reading and supporting this blog.


Why I Am a Liberal

Dear readers,

Before you open your conservative Christian right lips and try and deface what I’m about to write, please listen with an open mind and open heart and realize that what I’m about to say is not an affront to you all, not exactly an affront to all religious things at all. I am a liberal because of a few things: my experiences as a disabled female, the victim of sexual harassment and revenge porn, albeit audio revenge porn. What was my experience like as a disabled female?

For one, my mother had to have had premarital sex in college, despite a staunch Catholic belief system. Who was her partner? I still do not know, but it is likely that her partner was African American, which explains why she refuses to believe that Michael, one of my long lost friends, was an appropriate match for me. My parents wanted say in who I married, and this is patriarchal at best, and I don’t believe in the idea that a daddy can own his daughter. I believe that a guy or gal has the right to marry anyone they want, and if they want to get married, they don’t even have to have permission from me first. Trenton’s daughters will not be owned by him, and I’m not his property either. What the church people want you to believe is that women are the property of fathers, then husbands. Please refer back to the post on Nathan Larsen, who believes women should be sex slaves and whose accounts have repeatedly been banned from the internet because his beliefs incited violence against women and minorities. I don’t believe a word of what Conservatives call antifeminist thoughts. As a female who’s been revenge porned by an ex, I believe we need to have laws in place to help those victims, and this means that men like my ex, Jason, need to put their audio porn in the garbage. I do not hereby give permission to any Jasons out there to put pictures and audio of female subjects of theirs on the Internet, period, because we are women and the body we own is ours. Women’s bodies are not the property of a male, pure and simple, and if someone like my ex had the guts to rape a woman, she should have the right to obliterate what he put in there because believe me, abortion would not be a regrettable decision at that point. I don’t want to know if that product is a male or female, and if I may use such a cold term to refer to babies at all, the product of a seedy person who just doesn’t give a damn about women and minorities is not my child to raise. IF I had been forced to live in the deep south, and was raped by a man who had sex on his mind, I would indeed give the baby away in the hospital or abort. Those would be my options, and I don’t want someone who is capable of oppression doing more harm to women than good. Because of the experiences I’ve seen, having been an indirect witness to other people’s sufferings and needs, I chose liberalism because it is the only path to equality and justice for all. Let me outline my principles and beliefs, which do resonate with me and with the Universalist Unitarian church.

I believe in all facets of liberty and justice for all. This means what it says. When a woman is unjustly fired from her job because she has had premarital sex, I would say she needs to sue the company and tell them she was raped if indeed that crime was committed. My friend Joy (name has been altered for privacy reasons), was raped by a man in california who was in training at the Colorado Center for the Blind. I have believed her, which is a big first step, but if CCB were to have kicked her out because of premarital sex, this would be a sign of injustice and male privilege. CCB gets federal dollars and grants, so I honestly believe she should at least confront her rapist and tell him that he’s a monster. This man, Brian (name has been altered for privacy reasons) went on to impregnate a girl in New Mexico whose name I don’t know, or someone at convention or someone I don’t know at all. The woman was in Fort Collins, Colorado, and her son, Brian’s son, was adopted out. She might have made the right choice, but I’m afraid for her son who might inherit the seediness of Brian’s DNA or a trait that should bee tempered and tamed through counseling and therapy and some medications. Will the little guy become a sexual offender? I hope not.

I believe that women are equal to men, and that means in all aspects. Minorities and women have been routinely disenfranchised from the system for loving who they love, being who they are, and for having female genitalia. This is grossly unfair, and that’s another reason why I’m a liberal. I write this blog because the disability community has a long way to go to acknowledge that women are equal. joy was taken advantage of because she was someone who had female genitalia, and that is not fair, on top of the fact that she is blind and has other health issues. Brian with his male privilege is a real piece of dirt. He should acknowledge that all women are equal, but by no means should he ever say to me, as he said in one Facebook comment, “I am glad you are not in a position of power.” This man, oddly enough, is in no position to make choices in politics, so let’s keep it that way.

Black and white people should at least be together through all means. Races should be integrated. It took me years to get through this, but part of my blog is devoted to racial justice. It took me a lot of time and thoughts to think about what black and white means. So what if African Americans are different? So their culture is different, what is the point? Trenton is a sweet and caring individual who has a lot of love to give, so I’m staying with him no matter what. trenton is black, I was raised white, but I could be mixed race. See above. The thing to remember is that I started out as the roommate of someone who truly for whatever reason hated my guts. I don’t know if Christy (name has been changed) would ever speak to me again, but she was black. I tried to be friendly with her later on Facebook, but she’s gone. I hate to see her gone, and I thought I’d make up all the time spent not understanding, not in and of her world, to at least say something. Christy is gone, and I don’t know where.

Same sex couples have a right to adopt. Don’t tell me they don’t. I’d like to also acknowledge that there are some poly folks on my page. They are amazing, just plain amazing. I have a poly friend in Texas who has not one, but two husbands. She’s pretty amazing, and I want to acknowledge that women should have a right to polyamorous marriages if they want because trust me, it would prevent a lot of instances of cheating and … well, it would mean harmony for the whole family. Polygamy as practiced in the FLDS is of course a wrong idea, but still I think women should choose what they want, and marry who they want. I chose Trenton, and he chose me. Of course, he begs me very loudly to bring home another girl, but he’s probably kidding around. Yes, it would be nice, but Trenton is weird as all weirdos are. That’s just who he is, and that’s why I love him dearly.

My activism has been restricted to the blog and podcast. However, I want to be able to put the podcast on other means, in other means, and so on. As a podcaster, I want to be able to convey what a lot of liberals need to feel. As a person who is blind and a victim and survivor of revenge porn and sexual harassment, I want to say that being a liberal and not attending a conservative minded church is the best thing I can do at this point. I want to see true freedom while I’m around. And what does that freedom look like? Well, because I can’t marry legally, I want access to the same jobs and things as those who are staunch Christians. Since Trenton and I are on disability, we want the same access to healthcare, and we want any gay or transgender child to get life affirming care because they deserve it. Period. We want to make sure that we’re good parents, and if we adopt, we’ll adopt someone who doesn’t normally get adopted. That’s the thing. And we want that right, married or not. We want the domestic foster system to make sure we are recognized in the adoption papers. I don’t want to have to apply as a single mother, nor does or should Trenton have to play single father in order to get benefits for the children. So what should we do anyway? This is what fighting and freedom looks like from my lens.

For those of you who are wondering, I”m wanting to monetize this blog. I’d also like to use Patreon to get ads out there promoting my blog, promoting the stuff I do and talk about. Why? Bread and butter, of course, but moreover, I want people to see my life as valid, the lives of my friends as valid, and the lives of women and girls and minorities with disabilities and their lives as valid. I could have been Bahai, but religiously I was raised Catholic, converted to islam, left Islam, and then decided that I’d not be practicing any religious faith because of the conservative lynchpins I’ve seen, the whole thing about premarital sex being stupid and unfair. When a woman is raped, premarital sex is not to be considered. Rape victims should be given kindness and care, not thrown out on the streets. When a woman is the victim of revenge porn, it should be duly noted that the men who do this should be put in jail, forced to pay a pension for the woman’s distress, and not allowed to date for a period of time. If I was a judge in Georgia, for example, I’d tell my ex that “Mr. Owens, you put up this revenge porn stuff on Teamtalk. Think about your victim, and since you don’t have empathy for others, why not sit back and ask yourself, will I or my victim have a job after this?” I’d sentence Mr. Owens to life in prison without parole for the distribution of revenge porn around the servers he’s been on. I would hope that someone ketches him stalking women and girls as he has been doing, and stops him before he gets worse. Judges talk like the way I wrote that quote, so you all need to know that, just saying.

I’d like to say also that those of you checking out my blog, you are amazing. Please feel free to read, and let the words I write speak truth to power. That’s what I’m doing.


Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Part 2: How Does Matchmaking Affect Disabled People?

Dear readers,

Matchmaking is a popular alternative to just letting love find you, but in the previous piece I wrote, I discussed foreign brides. This is a pretty big business in Asia, and I got a sleazy email about meeting sexy Russian women, and there I am a female who has a man already. How does this big foreign bride business affect disabled people? Well, let’s take a look at the stats and numbers regarding disabled potential mates out there.

One thing, blind people are most likely to be single, not able to find a mate, especially if they are living at home with parental figures. I was unable to pursue this while at home in Florida for obvious reasons. My parents really didn’t get to see a lot of who I was because they suppressed it. On top of this, I had fallen for a Haitian black man who was rather a lot like me, and his child needed a better mother who would talk to her, play with her, and do things with her like, as she grows older, help her with schoolwork and homework. It would be obvious if Michael had picked me for his wife, but foreign bridal markets could have swayed Michael to pick someone else from someplace like Russia, Africa, or Haiti itself. Michael should know that spam emails exist to bait him and other men who are seeking a wife and it is ill advised to get a foreign bride.

Foreign brides like those in Vietnam are also taking up spaces where disabled women could end up married or productive. Disabled women, by the way, are more than capable of having and raising children, but a woman with intellectual disability should at least have proper case management and resources to teach her how to parent a child correctly, and there is a correct way to parent. Disabled women who want to be in a matchmaking service should consider that the partner they are matched with could be one of a few things: nondisabled and abusive, disabled but poor and still abusive, or disabled and loving and very devoted to making sure the woman feels comfortable. A disabled bride should look forward to the third option most likely, and I would highly advise disabled brides to be never to use a matchmaking service for their particular culture because most Asian and African cultures, for example, don’t like disabled women period. They also sell their young daughters off, no matter what continent you’re on, for a price to an older and perverted gentleman, or just plain man. Bride prices range from maybe $600 to $6000 depending on the wealth and prestige of the groom. If the groom has other wives, it makes it more difficult for the bride to get settled as the senior wives might claim the man as theirs, not allowing him to fall in love with her. I would never consider being a junior wife to someone, only one wife in my case. Why? Because husbands might find a nondisabled wife more desirable, blame my blindness on everything, and mistakenly believe that my offspring will be blind. This is another issue i’ll take up in the next piece. Polygamy is a real issue that the U.S. has dealt with and especially Utah and Arizona. Watch for another piece on the Colorado City/Hildale wives and you’ll be surprised at the ending.

So the foreign bride market might not only close the real spaces needed for blind women to marry, but it could either way pose a problem. Foreign and disabled brides who land in both categories could face murder and abuse at the hands of a nondisabled husband. I’ve been given too much in the way of superiority games played by my own father, and I have to remind my partner that such games are inappropriate for any moment in play or otherwise. My partner understands when I tell him that what he does is wrong, but other men might not understand. Other men might say, “I can see, you can’t. You have to do what I say, and what I want you to do is eat, sleep, cook, sex, whatever.” So think about this, disabled women. What do you want in a relationship? I personally want a love that lasts, yes, but there’s more to it. The secrets to my relationship are as follows, and I’m willing to show you guys what makes it tick.

One, we’re meant for each other and compatible with each other’s needs. Trenton is blind, and so am I. We’re both in love with each other, which helps immensely. We speak the same language, we live in the same area. Those things help, so to those who think they’re in for a foreign bride, watch out. Unless that woman is in your personal network, she’s not to be considered. If you don’t know who you’re talking to, can’t speak to her in person in her language, if you can’t hang out in person and get alone with her a few times, it’s not worth it. Blind or otherwise, you gotta see a man’s or woman’s true colors. You got to know how this potential mate behaves around you, his mom, his dad, her mom and dad, etc. Trenton treats his mom like a queen, and so should every male. If a man doesn’t respect his mom, odds are he will treat you the woman like trash. That’s another secret to good relating to the one you love.

Disclaimer: I want to do a piece dedicated to how the arranged marriage systems in some cultures affects the LGBTQI+ communities, but most foreign women sell themselves off to men, not women, and there’s nothing wrong with lesbians wanting to be with female partners. However, since most of the marriage market affects heterosexual females, that’s who I’m mostly talking to at this moment. Please don’t be offended if you’re gay or queer and reading this, but take heart. Disabled, female, and queer does not have to be a death sentence.

To the disabled women who want to flee the abuse of family and kin relations, go for it. You have only one life to live, and this is your life. You can go wherever you want, and please, whatever you do, seek asylum in a country like Canada or the United States because we will teach you our languages and let you be yourself. Make the president mad, as a matter of fact, so that Biden can fix the immigration rules. You don’t want to pay a thousand bucks you don’t have, especially if you’re a foreign wife of a guy or a foreign woman who can’t live in a country like the Philippines or even India or Laos, don’t worry, if you’re in a situation you don’t want to be in, or don’t feel comfortable in, just get out. Those are the best words of advice I have. For blind women, don’t think your standards can go lower so you can find more men. You could be sifting through a haystack looking for a gold needle for years, and could cost you your life. So do us all a favor and keep your standards high, don’t let someone lay a hand on you, and don’t slip and fall into the trap of “If I do or don’t do this, he’ll love me more.” Self respect is highly important, and men need to listen to you. You will carry his child, do the things necessary to begin life itself, so he needs to let you lead the family and not attack you for being the one to protect yourself and your children to be. Thank you all for your support.


Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Dear readers, especially to female readers,

Are you desperate for a life outside the country you’re in? Are you poor, financially unable to provide, can’t find a good man to marry? Well, you can do one of a few things, but they’ll ultimately put your life at risk.

A Vietnamese woman was murdered by her Korean husband, and that woman was desperate for a better life. Vietnam is supposedly a poor country, and there are many women who leave there and go to places like Korea through something called a marriage broker. I have a few problems with marriage brokers.

One thing, marriage is supposed to be about love, not money.

Marriage brokers won’t marry you if you’re a disabled woman, probably too damn risky.

Marriage brokers don’t care about language barriers. The Vietnamese bride could not speak Korean to her husband, and it turned into a murder case. I’m not saying that the language issue was the only reason, but the man was also quite aggressive, patriarchal, and rather drunk perhaps. However, he’s spending fifteen years in a Korean jail for his crime of killing his young Vietnamese bride.

Marriage brokers can be deceiving and rather shady in my opinion. this also includes everything from Muslim matchmaking services to Indian matchmaking services to those brokers who mess with Russian women, women in general. There are websites where child brides could be trafficked into a marriage at age eleven or twelve. What these men really want is sex, not marriage. They could kill your daughter, you, or your sisters, your cousins, so do me a big favor and stay away from marriage brokers.

There are a few things South Korea is doing to curb abusive behavior in husbands, and foreign women could be here safely. they are going to require a lot from a spousal visa, which is great, but more needs to be done in other countries like India, Pakistan, Vietnam, and so many others. Asian women get the butt of every joke when it comes to financial things, and they don’t always have it good in the marriage market. The marriage brokers should never be allowed to traffic these women and hook them up with abusers. Korea is doing more to address it, like I said before, but other countries should do the same, including the United States. Russian women often try and marry American men in the U.S. because of the circumstances in their country. Russia is now a political issue here, so i doubt this is happening very often, but I’ve gotten crazy emails about the “sexy Russian bride” that I would meet and make my life dreams come true. ugh. I’m a woman, so I erased that email and those emails. I have seen one that read, “Desperate Asian girls looking for dates.” That one is a red flag, so why am I, a female with no real potential in that market, getting emails about Asians looking for dates? I wonder, but women in the marriage market should be very very careful. It’s important to note, for example, how your potential husband behaves. If he constantly argues with you, that’s a red flag. Get away from him immediately. How I wish I could translate this post into Vietnamese and put it somewhere in the world, but foreign brides beware. It’s important that your man respect and honor your wishes and don’t expect there to be a good selection of men. If you’re a foreigner bride to be reading this, know this. You are not alone, and you may experience domestic and financial abuse at the hands of a marriage broker. Please consider marrying in your own country or perhaps marrying someone you love, not through a broker.


I’ll Pass On the Theocratic rules

Dear readers,

Yes, before I shoot off Handmaid’s Tale references and rules, I’m going to be real. I had a serious conversation with some folks on social media, and I think we all forgot something relevant to the discussion of theocratic rule in the United States. This … actually … happened. Remember the Warren Jeffs crew? They’re all gone, arrested for committing atrocities against young girls like Elissa Wall and Rebecca Musser and so many others. If you want to read some of their stories, go check out your libraries and Kindle if you dare. Elissa’s story Stolen Innocence is a bit out of date, but well worth a read. Elissa is not the only one who was made to feel inferior because of a theocratic ruler. So many other girls and women have been denied basic human choice, all because of religion. Rebecca Musser’s book, The Witness Wore Red, tells that story too. Musser wrote in this book about various atrocities committed by the men in charge, from Rulon Jeffs to Warren Jeffs and beyond. This woman is the witness and the former nineteenth wife of Rulon Jeffs who put all those leaders in jail, and for what it’s worth, they did indeed commit Gilead-like atrocities against these defenseless girls. How is the Handmaid’s Tale irrelevant fiction? It’s not irrelevant fiction so much as it is a warning. The Hunger Games series might be considered a thought provoking question of a book series, but it is what I’d call irrelevant fiction because there is really no basis for the distopian world of Panam.

As for book number two in the handmaid’s series, the Testaments, it’s a great story, and I’m not gonna lie, a super awesome book, but there’s something in there that jumps out at me a lot. Imagine you’re a child stolen from your mother on the way to a better life. You end up in the care of a white family, and in this example, you’re a black or brown child. So think about it. The Latino immigrants who are being detained are also being parceled out to Bethany Christian Services, what I call the real Gilead Adoption Agency in the United States. Yes, you can bet that these kids want to be with their real moms and dads, but they’re being brainwashed.

A theocracy in the U.S. has indeed been shuttered for good, and for the reasons I’m about to specify however. When the Bible or Qur’an or Torah is used to hurt someone or a whole group of people, the religion becomes invalid and a danger to itself and others, much like when a person starts cutting themselves with a knife and writing funny lettering on themselves and their dog. So why did the FLDS fall? Well, here’s why.

1. The FLDS split from the Mormon church with guys like the Barlows and Jessops in charge, and this is all archived and documented in all the books I’ve read on the subject. John Y. Barlow was one of the founding guys in the church. Next, you had Leroy Johnston, or Uncle Roy, who was prophet for a long long long time, but the person you gotta watch out for in this line of rule was Rulon Jeffs. Rulon was every bit as atrocious as the next guy in line, but he was too old for more than half his wives, and Musser’s writing confirms that she wanted love, not forceful procreative unity with a man who she would have to share. Polygamy is not for everybody, and there should be strict limits on it. But the church fell because Rulon and later his son Warren did some pretty nasty things to young women and girls, all documented, and there was a bunch of sexual abuse of young brides and brides-to-be at the hands of family or relatives. Carolyn Jessop’s kids might have been victims of sex abuse by other kids in the Jessop family, as documented in her second book, Triumph. She mentioned Danny Jessop, who later married Louisa Bradshaw and was living in the now defunct YFZ Ranch, of course. When his name came up, some of Carolyn’s kids had to have mentioned that Danny hurt them in some way. There were other Jessops who played a role in hurting Carolyn and her children, and all this is documented in her book. Check it out. It’s waiting for you to crack it open.

2. The church threw out too many young men so that the old perverts could have access to as many wives as possible. You had sisters sharing a husband, mothers and daughters sharing men, it was twisted and atrocious and could have lent itself to more biological defects. You’ve got the Barlows and Jessops and their bloodlines responsible for fumarase deficiency because of this weird and twisted way of allowing nieces and daughters and sisters that share the same husband. Ugh. Rulon had sisters in his harem, God if I ever thought that was possible, I’d literally faint.

3. God and the belief in Him was used to steal money from the working people. You had guys like Rebecca Musser’s dad, Douglas or Donald Wall, whoever he was, who worked in earnest with a lot of effort on geological stuff, had companies and all kinds of money he could have spent on his girls and kids and stuff, and the FLDS stole all his money. They expected him to let them have all the money, give credit to them, and always praise them. Women were also taught not to ever have credit for themselves, just say, “Oh, it’s just my priesthood head.” Oh really, it was pretty financially telling which families were there and which ones needed more. Even though this wasn’t a Jim Jones situation, this church really needed to change its policy on this and other things.

4. The belief in an almighty God and the celestial kingdom was used to allow many things we should have considered to be child abuse. Even Carolyn Jessop’s book said clearly, and this would be her first one, titled Escape, but she talked a bit about the women with dark sunglasses hiding mottled bruises and the frequency of child and wife/spousal abuse among her people. This church had it coming before the fall of Warren and the purge of so many followers out of its ranks.

So what happened? What I gather on the Internet is that Rulon Jeffs’ old house is now a battered wife shelter, and Warren’s and Rulon’s assets are going to the girls. Good, I say. Same thing will happen if someone tries to bully the entire government into believing in a God that can’t possibly administer justice fairly according to a book that hurts more than helps. Theocracy can still be felt and seen in Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia is a seat of Islam, but their theocratic rules allow men to control women, much the same way as Colorado City and Hildale did. What I am seeing is a pattern of distrust in the U.S. for governing officials who want to press religion on others, which is a good thing because in Hildale, Utah, a female was elected mayor, Dannia Jessop of all people, and she was amazing. Well, I think she still is serving her time there, but she certainly had the police force debadged and demoted, and replaced with real police. That’s a big step in the right direction. With all the big compounds turned into battered women’s shelters, I’m hoping that the missing women in Musser’s story come out of hiding. The YFZ Ranch, the site of a 2008 raid, is thank God defunct. It would not, however, make a good Defunctland video spot, as this is much more serious than just a defunct company.

So how is the U.S. any thing like Gilead? In the handmaid’s Tale, we learn that OfFred’s daughter is adopted by a Gilead family, no different than what Bethany Christian Services is doing to these poor Mexican children, who are raised to believe that family is important. Mexican families are close, so are Cubans, Costa Ricans, any kind of Latin American family is awesome. I’ve seen it all occur in my own very backyard. So why rip these families apart? Trump is not supposed to do this, and I hope Biden will at least fix this problem, and get the United States back in a united state of freedom and back on track. Of course, we will need to make sure that theocratic rules like we saw in Utah and Arizona don’t ever happen again.

For Further Reading:

If you want to read a book about the lost boys, there are two points of entry here. Lost Boy by Brent W. Jeffs is an amazing read. Plus you can also read Destroying Their God by Wallace Jeffs, Warren’s brother. Both are available as Kindle e-books and audio books may be coming as I speak.

Escape and Triumph both by Carolyn Jessop are amazing reads, so read both.

Breaking Free by Rachel Jeffs is a more recent book, but do check it out for yourself. It popped up in my Kindle recommendations.

Church of Lies by Flora Jessop is amazing, and tells the story of one woman who had to fall to rock bottom to get to where she is now. I love how Flora tells her story.

Stolen Innocence and The Witness Wore Red, written by Elissa Wall and her sister, Rebecca Musser respectively, both books are amazing, but Musser’s is more up to date, and she has written amazing testimony of her work. Thank you all for reading, and to find these books, I’d recommend using Kindle or Audible, as not all are available on Bard.


Don’t Call Me Bitch

Dear readers,

For those of you who are male, you might want to read this, unless you’re the type who is misogynistic, so if you are the gatekeeper of misogynistic thinking, skip this immediately and think a while before reading this. Either way, you will read this blog post and it will enlighten you to why I, and many other women in government, leadership, and life itself, are very very sick and tired of being called a “bitch” or a “fucking bitch” to our faces. I’ve been called worse: “loonbag”, “moron”, and other HIPAA based attacks. All over the stupid family guardianship that was put in place in 2004. This guardianship could have ended my career in all things, but instead, I’m a champion for women’s rights and disabled people’s self determination rights. This must be a federally recognized thing, so let’s delve into the meaning of this vulgarity.

Fucking bitch. First, the fucking part. What is this word? The word “fuck” may be used to strike someone, as it is derived from the German word “to strike”, but when paired with the wrong word, could mean a sex act with a female dog. This leads to the word “bitch”, which could of course, in show dog terms, is a female dog. Yes, bitches are female dogs, got it? They are not, under any circumstances female human beings, and those female human beings are a hell of a lot more than the dogs you are referring to us as. Female dogs somehow communicate with each other, sure, but they don’t invent things, didn’t build the space shuttle, and sure don’t drive cars or join the military except as trained by humans. Female dogs can’t lead this country, but female humans? Yes. So why isn’t the female experience for us women any better than that of a dog? This is so dehumanizing to talk about, but it must be discussed.

While the fucking bitch comment that Ted Yoho made to Alexandria Ocasio Cortes was indeed vulgar and stupid. I have been called worse. I’ve been dehumanized for having been in the mental health system, and I have a message for the gatekeeping idiots who think I’m the village idiot: shut up and get your heads right. Your HIPAA based attacks are not warranted, and they are illegal. IF you attack me on this blog, on this page, or on the other platforms I’m on, you will be warned. I can’t let the HIPAA based attacks go on, and you do this stuff behind my back. You attack me on my partner’s Twitter account, he sees the attacks and doesn’t say a word. It hurts. It really hurts because men like the ones who attack me using illegally obtained HIPAA based information should not be supported or given careers. These men are familiar faces you know in the blind community, and in response to AOC’s comments, which went live on NBC Nightly News, I’m gonna say this. Keep your mouths shut and zip those lips closed because your comments incite violence against women and myself included. I won’t name the people who talk about me on platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and so on, but I blocked a familiar name on Facebook after eleven long years of being used and abused by this misogynist. I won’t talk to him again, nor anyone else who indulges themselves in misogyny. If you think that calling me a “fucking bitch” is cool, what the hell do you think you’re doing! AOC won’t have this, and neither will I.


What Sex Ed Should Look Like in the Future

Dear readers,

Before I get into the details of what the sex ed curriculum could look like in the future, I want to tell you how the current state of sexual education not only hurts girls with disabilities, but puts them at risk. I was sent to a private school in fifth grade, graduated there in eighth grade, but before I could, I had to do a joke class. New creation, this class was called, taught us about pregnancy, the birds and the bees, and sexual immorality and all that crap. First and foremost, I’m glad I never spoke about that kind of thing to too many people, the part about new creation being a joke, but it is a real joke. Yes, there are a few things the class gets right, and I’ll explain how. First, let me analogize sex ed with driving a car. When you first meet the car, what happens?

In this one book on sexuality I found, written by a certified health and teenage sex pro, I found an interesting analogy to introducing teenagers to the concepts of sex and such. Michael Basso wrote an entire first few paragraphs in the first chapter as though he were talking about driver’s education. It makes sense, but what Mr. Basso wanted to know, regarding the car, was when do I get to drive it? Mike from Monsters Incorporated is best known for that little reason for buying a new car, so he could drive it. But I think both Mr. Basso and Mike from Monsters Inc. could have used a lesson on the behind the hood parts and pieces of the automobile, something akin to what we do when we teach about sexual anatomy. So here’s what the vagina and penis do for each sex, okay, and here are the ovaries. Okay, that’s the same thing as explaining what the clutch pedal of your car does, and here’s the steering wheel. Okay, it makes sense to always make people aware of what parts are private, behind the hood, that sort of thing.

If it gets any better, the school version of “new creation” class gets pretty serious. Morality and eighth grade new creation/family life included discussions about love and dating. Unfortunately, it did not prepare me for the obvious problems I would face in finding a date. It was patriarchally biased so that it would validate my mother’s awful diatribes on how “girls don’t call boys” and “girls don’t ask boys on dates.” Boys at Titusville High probably were threatened in the patriarchal gut when I asked them out for dates. Ugh, I can’t stand the idea of Jason and others I wanted to date in situations where they rule and dominate the female species. It makes me vomit thinking of guys trying to make sexual harassment at school stick, but when a boy gets the same complaint when a girl says it, it doesn’t. Sexism much? Yes.

What the St. Teresa morality classes never would have taught me was that 90% of girls with disabilities like me will have been raped this year. Many women with disabilities, grown women I’ve spoken to over the online platform Skype, have been prior rape victims and they are now survivors, some are thriving. I learned later about the victim survivor thriver system in a rehabilitative spot in 2006, and it took me years to process. My parents did not utterly prepare me for the possibility of smashing the patriarchy, rather they were the patriarchy. I will never try to sum up what the patriarchy is; one should know what it is by now. The matriarchy is a lot more energy driven, and I’m sorry, sorry to see what people say in class is a joke.

St. Teresa did not teach the facts, only the predictions and not based on a scientific facts. They want to tell you how to live right, be clean, all that jazz, but it doesn’t work. STS and THS were both patriarchally programmed against girls with disabilities, and I frequently saw no effort on STS’s part to make girls with disabilities welcome and actually teach scientific facts about rape and the evolutionary explanation of rape. Evolutionary consequences abound for rape victims who end up pregnant, on top of the fact that they are disabled. The rape victims have to either carry or adopt out the baby, according to Catholic doctrine, no abortion is acceptable, and that could hurt someone whose uterus can’t technically carry a child. I knew a woman who had twins, but one of them didn’t make it. It wasn’t her fault, but the Catholic church would have been so obsessed with her keeping both babies, even the one dying, and that’s kind of not what happened. The baby that didn’t make it had to be cremated, and an autopsy report was mailed to the mother, and it was just sad. When a baby dies, sometimes even the woman dies, but that didn’t happen. However, angel babies, as one would call the baby that didn’t make it, are a blessing in disguise sometimes. For this mother, I hope she raises the baby that did make it to understand that sometimes, not everything goes as planned. However, when a baby passes in utero, it can endanger the life of a second baby or woman who carries it. None of this information is found in the STS approved science curricula or sex education no less.

So what should a real sex ed textbook look like? For cisgender heterosexual white males, this book should not even be placed in the hands of such to be ripped apart. So I think the males would, however, benefit from reading such a book if they would please pay attention to waht the book says.

Here’s the basics of what curricula should be acceptable for children in the next generation whether Catholic or not, disabled or not.

1. Starting with the anatomy, all sex ed curricula should give an overview of body parts, and this should start with preschool. Okay, give the preschoolers the proper names for genitalia as well as the physical limbs, lungs, etc.

2. When a child reaches pubic age, around ten or eleven years old, please, I beg the writers of sex ed curricula, include something about evolutionary fertility in a scientific perspective. Talk in this curriculum about girls and transgender boys having periods and such. Persons who have periods should be given a proper heads up about what pregnancy and menstruation does, etc etc.

3. LGBTQI+ individuals should have history in a separate textbook, but any sex ed book should include tips for dealing with parents who won’t accept you as you are. If a parent threatens to kill you over being transgender or gay, or whatever, there should be one or two things in there about this, and resources at the back of the book to help said children. All kids should be accepted as they are, but that doesn’t happen. Catholic schools don’t understand that their dress codes don’t help (see the posts on dress codes), and the worst part of it is that these schools aren’t for kids who are LGBTQI so please, do us all a favor and send them to schools with acceptance policies, good curricula that validates their existence, and so on. Threatening a child with death or punishment for being who they are or for who they love is a bastardly and cowardly thing to do, and as a Christian parent, you should look to Jesus for the answers. Jesus did not say to kill the gay child, he only said love thy neighbor as thyself, blah blah blah. However, the love has become twisted, and Jesus’s teaching has become very patriarchally programmed more than a call to love and care about everybody in your circle. STS simply won’t get that part.

So what to do with Catholic schools? Yes, government shouldn’t stick their noses into private schools, but how can we help disabled females who end up raped in Catholic schools after being exposed to this dangerous curricula? Well, here’s what we need to do.

STS should not have any more family life discussions with second grade classes, and marriage should be edited out of their curriculum. As hard as this will be, the only way a school like this is going to thrive is that they teach consent, acceptance, and comprehensive safety measures for all students, including those with disabilities. Self defense and RAD (rape aggression defense) should be taught to all students, including especially the young ladies and those of female persuasion. I like how my choir director for Soar calls the women and higher singers of chorus “those of the female persuasion” or, because a nonbinary member joins us later, she said, “Soprano and alto” or “trebles”. That makes sense. This director demonstrated full inclusion, and I’m proud of her for that.

STS should never emphasize dating norms. As hard as this is going to be for any religious framed school, keep your rosaries out of my ovaries, as one girl puts it at Notre Dame. In fact, please, if you are at a Catholic university or high school, allow the students to perform the Vagina Monologues, all with women, or transgender male to females, whatever. Study the Good Body, and I Am An Emotional Creature. Those books by Eve Ensler are amazing, and she founded V-Day, so please, whatever you do, do it right. Teach that it is not okay to do violent acts against girls and women for any reason. Teach the boys not to take advantage of girls with disabilities, period. Teach the girls that it is okay to express yourself and have feelings. Period.

Any Catholic diocesan school should work closely with a special school for disabled children, and this might be a good way to get students aware and accepting of those with disabilities. However, all diocesan high schools should be educated in developmental and physical disability history. As part of the service project at MCC, Melbourne Central Catholic High School, I think there should be a requirement for all students to serve the disabled and go visit them on occasions like Christmas, Birthdays, etc. The students will provide friendship like in Best Buddies, but this would be a requirement for all students. The requirement to join a Best Buddies service team would help the disabled students not be isolated in their own special room all the time. Behaviorally handicapped students are often abuse victims themselves, and some are like that because of brain anatomical anomalies. However, that need not encourage MCC students from doing the right thing and being generous with the disabled population. I also believe that diocesan schools should be required to teach scientifically based psychology classes, so that they learn about things like what happens with schizoeffectives and so on. If a schizophrenic individual hears a voice or sees things, it’s a symptom they have to deal with. Also, psychology classes would help the students consider, not require them, to get a career in psychological therapy and specialize in disabled people and their needs. There is a need for psychologists in all school avenues that can believe disabled women so that these women can get the care and services they need while recovering from rape and sexual abuse. Family members often molest the women with disabilities, so this might require the women to leave their immediate home families, but it would be worth it if a psychologist says to the parents, “You need to keep this registered sex offender away from your disabled daughter.” IS it that hard? Social work should be an emphasis at all schools, including Catholic ones, because we the human race are going through a big transition point in which the patriarchy is happily being smashed, and women are doing the right thing.

Diocesan schools should be required to do service at nursinig homes, unpaid service that would require them to visit, feed, and care for elders just like in the Giver, but for all students. If you’re a med student, ditto for that.

All these things do have some relevance in the sex ed curricula. We should be teaching our children that the elderly do like it, but they do it amongst themselves. That we should also teach that adults should never ever have sex with kids is a ditto for those who are under eighteen. Mary K. Letourneau obviously had problems, having had sex with a sixth grade student, bearing two children for him, and after being married for a time, they split up. Now, she’s dead. However, let’s define Mary’s action as abusive, and then we need to be cautious in looking at what Mary did. Yes, the consequences for her children in both marriages have been bad, but for her, Mary wasn’t the right fit for Vili anyway because of the generation gap. Even if she didn’t abuse Vili after he turned eighteen, there’s a problem here. Women offenders are traditionally relationship driven, so it’s hard for me to analyze this without saying that what Mary did was wrong. Yes, it is common for boys to have crushes on female teachers, but what these copycat Mary Letourneaus are doing is wrong. There are many copies of Mary K. Letourneau running around in many schools, and these women are usually insecure. Kids in all schools should be encouraged to step forward and report the male or female offenders to a trustworthy adult, and I’d have done it if God forbid a coach molested me. I’m glad it didn’t happen, but to hell with the way a school might have handled this. FSU lost a great teacher in James Nally, convicted of soliciting sex from a minor out of state, and she might have reported it. Good for the girl who did this, and sadly, Nally had been a professor of piano music until that incident. Now, he’s a registered sex offender in the state of Florida or Kansas, I don’t know where. He was disgraced, rightfully so, and his disgrace should be a lesson to other adults who plan to solicit sex from minors. A minor with a disability should be more cautious because even family can’t be trusted. If Nally’s victim was disabled, who would believe her? I don’t know if anyone would.

The big thing that schools are not doing is believing women. If you are interested, please read the book “believe me” by Jessica Valentin. It’s a good book, and I can tell you, it’s awesome. Thank you for reading, and if you want to comment on this post, please use the Facebook or twitter thread from which this post comes. Thank you again.