Overview of Inclusivity and Religion: Making Spiritual matters a Thing of Inclusion for Disabled Congregants

Dear readers,

I shared Ellen Stumbo’s post from the Mightete, a disabled news org, and she has a lot of things to probably unpack. Thank you for those who saw that story and wished to be a part of my spiritual life. I looked through this blog, and I saw some mistakes I might have made, identifying one man as Somali and another man as not. Who knows, but I want to truly open a timeline and a dialogue with all faiths and religions, notwithstanding the mistakes I made, but I want to put all the stuff I wrote prior to this post in one big summary timeline, and here it is. It includes what you should do with disabled congregants, and this is based on experiences I’ve had with churches.

1. First and foremost, your parking lot and door entrances have to be wide enough for wheelchairs, even if the building is rustic and old. Make some accommodations in your restrooms so that disabled people can use them. Place bars on the walls of each stall, and make the stalls wide enough so that a wheelchair user can use the stalls. Blind people should be able to ID the bathroom with a Braille sign. Place such signage above the door, or by the door on a wall in the alcove’s outer side. That’s how the signage can be easily seen, and I look for signs there. Also, make sure your Braille is proofread by a certified NLS Braille proofist, even if it’s the word handicapped. here’s a funny Braille story to show you why: The Braille sign for “and” is written with dots 1-2-3, then dots 4-6, all put together. it’s a letter y in Braille but written a bit backwards. So the dot combo is 1-2-3-4-6. However, there was a sign that was written with the “ing” sign: the dot 2 was missing from the “and” sign, so the sign that my cane teacher interpreted was the following: “Girls hingicapped.” Be careful with Braille contractions and lettering, and make sure you have a Braille cheat sheet on you to make sure all signage is correctly Brailled. The architecture of this building should reflect inclusivity. For Muslims, make sure the woodoo areas are completely user friendly, and if you insist on women and men being in separate prayer areas, do not use only stairs. Put the women in a place where wheelchairbound sisters can enjoy worship from the same floor as the men, but you must have wider doorways and the woodoo fountains should be at a level that is usable for those sisters who can’t raise their right or left hand to turn on the fountains. Make sure there are places to put shoes where a sister or brother won’t trip. This is something an old friend frequently would talk about while I was present at mosque. For Jewish ceremonies, always include your wheelchair using sisters and brothers, and for those who count themselves as orthodox or Hassidim, always always always have a door open for disabled congregants who want to join in. Even the goyem will admire your inclusivity.

2. When a congregant walks in, make sure you are welcoming to them. For Christian churches, please make sure you have alternatives to hymnals that a disabled person may use, and as a blind person, I wish I had been able to read the words to worship service songs in detail. Give the blind congregant access to the lyrics at worship services ahead of time, or let them hear a recording of the hymns you will be singing in services. For Jewish folks, same sort of thing may apply to shabbats, and for those who hate tech during shabbat, please note that an exception should be made for blind folks using Braille. Braille displays should be used in Hebrew services so they can follow along with the rabbi or congregation cantor, and make sure that the persons leading the choir and rabinical folks know about this stuff. Your Jewish blind congregants should have as much access to Hebrew scripture, Hebrew chorale pieces, and so much more so they can sing and follow along. Of course, young Jewish students should be included in Hebrew school as well, so for teachers of such, make sure your texts are written in appropriately hebrew Braille. it is in my opinion the best way to get a student familiar with the Hebrew language. It’s similar to Arabic, and I’ve seen Arabic Braille written down, but face it, the letters are pretty similar to both Roman and Hebrew script. For religious educators in Catholic circles, you need to consult the publishers of your books. Make sure the Catholic faith textbooks are written for children in Braille, and if you’re a teacher, beg the publisher for the teacher’s edition in the same format. If not Braille, kids and teachers who are blind should be given access to the same materials but in electronic format. If they use a pc or mac with screen readers, the formatting should be excellent, top quality, arranged so that pictures are captioned and labeled accordingly. This also applies to Muslim folks. Sadly, I wasn’t able to participate in Qur’an classes with my sisters in islam, but for the young folks in TAQI, or Tasir Al Qur’an Institute schools, they should be given Braille copies or electronic Arabic and English copies of the Qur’an. This way, as the prophet said, you can still gain knowledge, even if you can’t see it.

3. For all religious centers, babies should be baptized or blessed with the same dignity and pomp as with normal babies.

4. When a kid grows up, and with adults growing in faith, let the person experiment or teach them the science behind the choices they make with procreation. While i’m not a fan of the Catholic or Christian ideological senses of don’t have sex until marriage, please note that disabled children and adults face the most poverty because of that very thing. Disabled men become predators sometimes because they are not taught how to keep their sex organs to themselves, and disabled women get objectified. We need to create a welcoming and safe space for all, including disabled people. All religious centers and community churches should include a consent class, a code of honor and consent for all congregants and brothers and sisters. While islam has strictures of family honor tied right into the religion itself, I would encourage Muslims to research and understand the rules about consent in modern culture. islam must conform to let females make all choices, and even in cultures where this is not the case, females must be able to say no if they see something wrong or abusive about a man. This definitely includes disabled females. I left islam because I didn’t want to have to marry a stranger, and I wasn’t about to get barefoot and pregnant with someone i hardly understood how to please anyway. I would have also had superiority games played on me if I married a sighted guy, which the Muslim brothers suggested. Unfortunately, for these brothers, I married a non Muslim blind guy, and I won’t be coming back. I love my sisters, and I understand if the sisters insist I walk back, but I can’t do any such thing because islam has become a contested religion here in this country. I’ve been disrespected by a doctor who swore i was “pretending to be Arab”, and was trolled on Facebook for this very thing. I don’t subscribe to religious views that contradict my own core beliefs about me, and that should be what matters.

5. When a bride and or grooms and brides or couple comes to you and your religious center for marriage, get their story. If a couple wanting to wed is disabled, offer the commitment ceremony option first. I want to shout out to Jenny, my minister from Jefferson unitarian Church. I wanted a woman minister to lead my wedding commitment ceremony because I was not, I repeat not, going to submit to a man in everything, and I was just about done with the patriarchal … dare I say it? Bullshit. patriarchs like some of the priests that abuse women and boys should never be allowed to do weddings anyway. If a bride or groom is not supported because of financial disability, physical disability, or anything else, offer to pay for everything. St. Bernadette’s Catholic church paid for the catering of the wedding of a dear friend of mine, but the bride also had the support of her family. Since Trenton and I did not have the support of church and family, and the pandemic had ruined all churchgoing plans, jenny came by our apartment and we had no ring bearer. We also had a guy doing camera angling for the phone. I recorded my commitment ceremony on Facebook Live. It was a beautiful ceremony, and I honestly wish I had more support, but it was true to us. We had a biblical reading of course, but we also had a wisdom reading from another spiritual source, something I really wish other Christians would consider. Weddings are an important part of life as a human being, and even if the bride is incapacitated, offer the support she needs to fight back and marry the man she loves. I had no support, and now I’m having to sue my own family for damages related to the guardianship. They are very hostile if confronted, but they don’t get it. They never wanted me to legally get married, and I didn’t, but I’m still committed to Trenton and will stay that way for life. Anyway, i’m glad I did my own wedding, but with church supports and no pandemic, it could have been better.

6. Offer support for disabled adults wishing to integrate kids into the mix. Whether the family is getting started or has been started, please, please welcome disabled people’s kids. Baptize them or commit them or dedicate them as above, if they consent. In most Protestant churches, baptism must be given if faith is strong enough and if you’re eighteen. Also, scriptural abuse cannot be tolerated whether it’s committed against the parental couple or the kids themselves. For parents everywhere, disabled or not, always have an open line of communication with your kids about sex abuse and spiritual abuse. If your child is abused spiritually by a church, leave that congregation immediately.

7. If a parent with disabilities wants to know how their kid is doing in spiritual circles, they need to ask about it. Churches should be a welcome and safe space for all kids, including those with disabilities and colored folks, any stripe and color included but not limited to black, brown, polka dots, purple, etc.

8. If the parent of a disabled congregant in your church dies, be with the person and show them the grieving process. Give them bereavement resources in your spiritual center, and let them come to you for guidance. As a minister or cleric in your spiritual center, you should be a good ear to bounce off all the stuff the child or young adult is facing in the death of their loved one. If the disabled adult is facing terminal conditions related to their disability, give them the hospice resources they deserve. Give them a good sendoff whether they are nonbinary or otherwise. Islam insists on strict gender conformity, but to those who practice Native beliefs, the two spirit people should be honored above all else. For those who are nonbinary who were shunned from communities for being nonbinary or LGBTQ+, please note that there are people who won’t condemn you to hell, so if you’re on the heaven bound train, find the right person for your funerary care. It will be worth your while.

9. Never put any sort of discipline in place that would disfavor disabled adults who are living in houses outside marital status with someone of the opposite sex. Trenton and I were abused and frequently targets of sin related comments from my former church. I feel that all churches should discipline anyone who abuses a disabled woman and calls her a whore, not blame her for being a whore at all. Churches must if anything have a discipline system in place to keep predators from working with youngsters, but above all, they should never define marriage as between a man and a woman who is able. Ableist marriage practices in churches make marriage difficult, along with those financial penalties from SSI. Please beware the issues we disabled people face.

10. Never tell someone they can’t come back because of their disability, and don’t make them confess sins they didn’t commit. I can’t fess up to sins, I didn’t commit the sins of being sexually abused. that’s not a sin. A sin is what my exes have done. Not my living with Trenton, not my commitment to him either.

Thank you all for reading this, and I hope you enjoy the blog further.

Beth

Congratulations, Kamala

Dear Miss harris,

Yes, this is something I’ve always known i would be doing, writing a letter in my blog to you. I want to first congratulate you for winning the election because little girls, especially brown and black ones, will be extremely proud to have a girl like them on top. Almost. But here’s what you need to do. These are things you and Joe need to work together on, and some of this overlaps with Joe’s letter i threw at this blog.

First and foremost, work with Congress on corona virus relief. We need our IHOP and other restaurants to stay open and prepared for the crowds. In order for this to happen, we need a national mask mandate, period. No ideological weirdness or anything.

Work with Joe on ending the Muslim ban. Joe will certainly do this because the Muslim ban is racist bullshit designed to prevent so called terror attacks, which it only made white supremacy worse. We can’t have these white supremacists messing about in our country, especially the Boogaloo Boys and other groups that purport to be American and patriotic. They’re not. They will target you and Joe and others, so just be on your toes.

Please make sure Congress confirms all the cabinet positions Joe wants. He needs an education secretary that doesn’t sell kids to Bethany Christian services. This is serious business, and we need to black history the hell out of education, so to speak. What I mean is that we need to teach black history, LGBTQI+ history and other histories through the eyes of historians who live it. We’re all historians, and Joe’s pick for education secretary is important in this case.

Please, whatever you do, make sure the disabled are top priority for considerations we need to initially work on. The thing we need to do is mentioned in Joe’s letter. Please raise the resource limit for SSI and SSDI recipients, give them the right to marry without penalty, and don’t mess with Medicaid because disabled people are married. We need family medicaid plans that help us maintain health, especially for us females who’ve been abused most of all. As a woman who is blind, I was abused emotionally and psychologically for fifteen years, lawyers tricking me into not fighting the abusive guardianship that was put on me. Guardianships by the way should be illegal, period. Please, Kamala harris, whatever you do, don’t enable these abusers to continue their abuse. Females of color with disabilities are counting on you.

You and Joe need to fix the entire foreign policy situation, but you also need to reverse the policies on disabled immigrants. Many countries require all their citizens to work or don’t have resources to educate their disabled kids or help disabled veterans of their wars. We in America have opportunities we should be sharing, not denying, disabled people. Please beg the Congress to consider what needs to happen to make America truly safe and diverse again.

As a blind woman, people might think it is impossible for me to have kids without risking the kids’ sight. Well, let’s put things in perspective. As a blind person who knows, I know that my blindness was not caused by genetic things that could be passed down to another offspring. The chances of having a baby who’s blind are slim, slim to none. Therefore, I’d encourage you to look at disabled women as women, period, and promote policies that allow such women to decide when and whether to have children. Disabled women are counting on you as well. Disabled men can be good fathers, and I’d encourage you to set up policies that encourage disabled men to be responsible fathers, and the nondisabled partners of such men to not block these men out of their kids’ lives. I have a friend who sadly doesn’t support you that needs a policy like this. I have other friends who have not been allowed countless hours of parenting time with their kids. Here we have disabled dads and moms denied the chance to parent, so please, protect disabled people’s right to parent.

Reverse Buck Versus Bell, whatever you do. Do not allow this caselaw to continue unchecked. My partner and I want babies, sure, but we don’t want a Carrie Buck to happen to me. Trenton would be upset if someone removed our baby.

Anyway, I’d like to thank you for accepting the victory and Joe is going to be awesome. They say in Africa, behind every successful man, there’s a successful woman. I want you to do something to make sure Obama’s legacy is not ruined either. That means healthy lunch items, no more Trump posted cafeteria foods either. No more of the Donald’s hateful crap. I’d like to draft a way to get something done about hate groups driving our opposition too.

While I have lots to share, I have to end here. Please accept my thank yous and be the best vice president you can be.

Beth Taurasi

Ectogenesis Part 2: How Do We Do It??? And An Apology

Dear readers,

So for those who are abortion opponents, I want to ask you a question. How do you want to negate the need for abortion? How do you want to do it without inconveniencing women who can’t carry babies to term? When a woman’s life is threatened, especially by a baby, she can’t just carry it to term without dying. That is where ectogenesis comes in. What I mean is, basically, putting the embryo in an electric womb, something mentioned by one tech historian. And moreover, the ectogenesis I am speaking of is something you might find in Brave New World, but not the very same thing. Not only do we need to find ways to put embryos alive in a conception chamber, electric womb, whatever, we also need to provide the resources for all the babies who are not carried by a woman. For example, find adoptive parents for these babies, or if there aren’t enough, set up orphanages for them. Then, when the baby turns eighteen as an adult,, we need to provide jobs for them, homes for them, etc. We need to also have room on this planet, and this planet only since we can’t seem to find life and habitability on other planets. Example, we can’t find life on Mars. Mars is inhabitable anyway because it’s a desert planet with a red atmosphere, right? So we need to find resources and ways to raise milions of babies who can’t be carried by a mother, and some of them will go back to their mothers, but millions of others won’t. The ones that will have mothers who can’t physically carry, and an electric womb would be a lot cheaper than paying a carrier, paying someone to carry the baby for you as a surrogate mother. Surrogacy contracts can go off the deep end, as one Florida surrogacy case actually did. I watched it, and the surrogate mother decided to take the baby back, even though it was her employer’s sperm that fertilized her own egg. It was nuts. Therefore, I think it best that if you want to have kids and not carry the child, then in the future of futures why not use an electric womb to carry your child? This would be a huge game changer, one historian writes, and would negate the need for killing the baby altogether in an abortion. Problem solved.

What we do have to realize, however, is this. Please understand that the earth only has so much in the way of resources, food, soil, and other things to make food grow. If we have too many people vying for these resources, we will have a famine. And what does famine do to children? Look no further than Yemen, where kids are starving to death, literally, malnutrition is back and back with a vengeance. Look no further than places like Lebanon. Not only does the world have to cope with a corona virus epidemic, or pandemic, the world has to cope with famine. Famine in Yemen and other spots in the world stems from a few things: war on top, then the ratio of resources to children. There are more people in Yemen than there is food. So how do we do something about it?

I would hate to justify abortion, only I would justify contraceptives, for they save lives. Contraceptives for women and men alike would save resources and lives. For young girls who are forcibly married, contraceptives would prevent her from going off the deep end with twelve kids. Fourteen is too young to marry, end of story. If anything, too much bureaucracy is a bad thing because we need to raise the marriage age for all people in places like Yemen. Example, nine is definitely too young to marry, so the marriage age for all young women and men alike should be eighteen. No questions asked. It should be eighteen, and when a person turns eighteen, they should be afforded protections if the man is abusive. Women are not shopping items, okay? Teenagers should not be forced to get married and pregnant a billion times over because it robs others of resources on the planet, and it’s all around bad for the girl and guy as well.

The next thing we need to do is something I’m sure is unpopular with a lot of people. For the places where there is famine frequently, where children are starving to death, perhaps we should limit the number of children each woman bears. We should limit the number of children each man can create, period, because we have none the more resources than we have people. The earth can only take so much, and it will grow tired of us if we don’t take care of it. If we do take care of it, things will be better for the children and parents alike. Raising the marriage age, limiting childbearing and perhaps outlawing certain forms of coercion into marriage because not every woman wants to get married and not every guy should have to either. Lesbians may want to leave the country where they are and marry elsewhere, and to female partners that is. Women are not baby factories, and should not be treated as such. For you who oppose contraception, think of the lives you would save. Do you want kids growing thinner and thinner every day because boys are prioritized over girls or because there just isn’t enough food to go around? Gender based neglect happens a lot in places where sons are priority and not daughters. We need to create a world for ourselves that brings equality, no gender based neglect or violence. We need to do this for the planet, and for ourselves. As for everybody else, we’ve got to be better at realizing that there’s only so much we can do, and you won’t have much room on planet earth if you keep bearing children and demanding the planet feed them all the time. So what is the solution? If we say find another planet, Mars is not an option, at least in my opinion. But the next best thing is light years away, so we need to make the best of what we have here on Earth, and if we find another third planet from a sun, we need to see what the sentients there would do in cases where Earth is failing. This planet needs our help, and if we have to lose some to win some, that’s what we need to do. In the current circumstances, we can’t and don’t have the electric womb thing I propose. We have no choices other than to make a woman carry a child, and some women can’t physically do that. In another way, I think we have some hope of getting better. Thee planet will yield better food if we do the right thing, and there could be hope that food won’t be so scarce. With the Corona virus pandemic in the world, we have to learn a very solid lesson: don’t overreach with resources on the planet, and another thing. Clean up the meat market in China and don’t sell bat meat at all. Don’t call it mystery meat, but wet markets are a no no. If you want to make a wet market, expect a pandemic, and learn that quick. Swine flu was another problem, but this corona virus thing is the biggest pandemic I’ve ever witnessed. We might have room for more kids on this planet, but we need to be extra careful now. This means that we need to take great care of what we have and what we need. the bottom line is that the planet needs us, and we need the planet, and the planet must be taken care of in order for all of us to thrive. We can advance technology all we want, but we need to make sure we have ethical reasoning for all technology, not let it get the best of us. Ectogenesis is one such technology we can and should try, but remember the consequences of every step we take when we advance things. My science teacher, Patricia Hutniek, engaged the class in the St. Teresa School in arguments about cloning and other forms of scientific advancement. It was her encouragement of these debates that brought me to a point where I could map out the ethical reasons why or why not use a certain technology. I think ectogenesis is a great idea, but is it ethical? In a sense, I think it would be ethical if we were able to get the baby out of a woman’s body and safely into an external electric womb like I proposed, but pro lifers need to understand that you should be bringing up all the kids in these electric wombs. Find adoptive parents for the kids, make sure they get food, water, and clean air. We desperately need this technology to negate all pro life and pro abortion debates altogether, but we also need other planets to settle on and make more families on. Earth may throw us off like it never mattered, so we need to find other places light years from here and more. Astronomers can do just that, and NASA also does its diligent work looking at asteroids but we need to do so much more.

I want to apologize for my prior post on ectogenesis, but I was laying the groundwork for what was to come. I should have titled my last post better. I hope you will humbly accept my apology.

Thank you for reading this blog, and have a great day.

Beth

Ectogenesis: The Miracle of Life Continues???

Dear readers,

I noticed that some of you on Facebook don’t like abortion. The big thing that would get me is how many of you say that “abortion is fucking murder” and “Abortion people are freaks.” I’ve got issues with people like me who believe in science and scientific reasoning for abortion as freaks. First, what happens when a baby is made?

you might be wondering what happens when a baby is made. I’ll not go into the whole egg and sperm saying how do you do, after all we’ve gone there in science class. However, think about the cost and financial figures the baby will demand. I’m not saying you have to buy them things because you want to, the baby will demand a lot of attention. First, how many diapers do you go through with your average baby? Secondly, when the baby grows a bit older, how many pieces of clothing or garments do you go through for baby? Child will need lots of extra things, including clothes, food, diapers, and if the kid is a girl, you’ll need to show her how to use feminine hygiene products. That’s nothing really compared to the whole changing your baby on a changing table though. And for some women, it’s not just the financial figures a baby costs that brings them to abort a baby.

Imagine for a moment that you had been raped by a not so nice older relative as a minor. If the baby was born male, that older relative would find a way to get custody of the baby while in some way being in jail for raping you. Imagine you’re a woman who doesn’t want to look into the face of her rapist, and is psychologically traumatized by the sight of the baby. You’d need extra therapy for keeping the child so you don’t abuse him. However, abortion would save not only the cost of care for the baby, but the cost of a trial, custody dispute, and oh so many other things.

You might be wondering why the hell I’m writing this. Colorado has repeatedly tried abortion bans on the ballot, and thankfully, none have prevailed. Abortion bans don’t work, and the twenty weeks abortion bans don’t scientifically work because certain things a fetus could have disease wise don’t show up until twenty weeks or more have passed. Sometimes a baby gets so sick it can’t live, period. So what do yu do? you have to abort. That’s the simple fix and it doesn’t threaten the life of the woman. If a mother’s life and health are at stake, also her psychological health, a baby should never be forcibly or arbitrarily carried to term. Governments should never decide a woman or baby’s fate, only a woman, her husband, and then her doctor, all in accordance with the woman’s faith. I would never abort my own kids, that is unless they aren’t the kids of my husband. Trenton and i want to be able to have a child, but the cost is overtly prohibitive. We use contraception to make sure pregnancy doesn’t happen for now. We need safer and better housing that will allow kids, period. If someone were to have raped me while I was trying to conceive with Trenton, I’d have to take an emergency contraception pill, and do all the contraceptive precautions like not having sex for a while just to make sure the rapist’s baby doesn’t plant itself in and scare the crap out of me when it comes out, if it even does. There are plenty of loving couples, same sex and different sex, that would love to adopt kids, but think on it first before you bring a child into the world. Costs could range from $10,000 over eighteen years to $2,000,000 over eighteen years depending on socioeconomic circumstances, child’s special needs, and income requirements for housing. There you have it. If Republicans don’t want women to be equal to men, they’re asking for trouble. This includes the cruel cycle of not letting them have contraception, especially if they’re single. If i were single at all, contraception would still be an option because I don’t want to be pregnant with a stranger’s kid anyway. Disabled females stand a 95% chance of being raped and some to the point of pregnancy. Rape is a really dumb idea for men, so if you’re male and reading this, don’t touch girls you’re not supposed to in a way they don’t want you to, even your wife. As a woman who is blind, my body is seen as less valued and more prone for nonconsensual sex. This happens a lot to my girlfriends, and that’s something we need to address. We need to teach boys not to rape, period. We need to have stricter punishments in place for rapists especially if they do disabled females under eighteen. At the same time, sex ed should include consent which I mention in a prior post.

One thing is for certain in this day and age. We don’t need abortion bans, and churches and politicians should not be getting into the decisions of women and their doctors. Thank you for reading.

Beth

Make them hear you: Voting and the Importance of Electing the Proper Person

Dear readers,

If you can find an accessible voting machine in your precinct, vote. If you can find your mail in ballot on your piles of paper, vote. If you have an accessible voting method, please vote. If you vote, think about a few things: if you are female, do you want to continue having the right to vote? What about the right to read, write, and own property? Or do you want your daughters to go to special schools where they just sit there and do petty point and coloring books? And do you want your daughter to be limited in what activities she can do? If the answer is no to those questions, then please vote for the candidate who will safeguard your rights. As a colored female, if you are a colored female, do you want to be whipped around at the polling places? Do you want your daughters and granddaughters to be told that the only jobs open to them are cleaning and cooking? This also applies to other types of females, but if you want to answer no to those questions, then vote for a candidate who will safeguard your rights. Think about the things you might see if the Proud Boys and Boogaloo Boys take control of this country, cancel any rights we have, and put women in a place they can’t be in. Think about whata might happen if religious fanatics came in and took over the country. Do you want a president who doesn’t care if fanatical evangelicals tell women they can’t read? That they can’t minister to men? That they will have to go to those special schools to learn embroidery, petty point, and coloring? Think about it. If you are a male ally and you’re reading this, congratulations on being a sister’s brother, a wife’s husband, or any other sort of male ally. You need to be further educated if you’re someone who doesn’t believe women should have rights. If you’re someone who believes women are the property of their fathers first, then their husbands, stop reading this blog immediately and go somewhere else and think about what drives you to think this way. Is it your entitlement? Are you a power hungry and entitled male? If you answered yes, then you shouldn’t be thinking that way. Women are counting on you to vote for them, vote for us to be able to type the ideas in this blog, vote for us to be able to read good books, not have to sit there and do embroidery and petty point all day. We want to be able to do things that are beyond what men believe we can do: we want to do something other than cook and clean for the males in our lives. This is half the reason I don’t do dishes, don’t cook, and don’t clean house all the time. The big reason is this: I was emotionally abused and forced to live with a patriarchal family, one that has not been invited to the wedding which, by the way, will have to take place no matter what happens. We’re looking forward to it, Trenton and I, but we can’t stay together if people tell us to separate. What if your presidential candidate makes it illegal for blacks and whites to marry? Parents should never allow this, and even more, Congress and the President should be fighting on human rights grounds, not debating on this. Interracial marriage is not up for debate, it’s a human right. Disabled women’s rights to their bodies and minds is not up for debate, it’s a human right. There are lots of things not up for debate, and they are human rights. Think about it, and vote accordingly.

Thank you all for reading this blog. I hope to write good news next.

Beth

The Bad Boys Have Been Here For a While, But They’ve Got to Go!

Dear readers,

Unfortunately, there are bad boys messing with the Denver Women’s Chorus efforts to raise money for itself and keep going. There was an incident involving a security guy from 9 news who was taken into custody by Denver Police, and worse off, I got an email from the president of the chorus stating that our fellow chorus member’s event could not be used to sell shirts, so she changed the location twice on Facebook. I want to say that this whole Proud Boys, Boogaloo Boys, whatever thing is so dangerous that it is now hurting DWC’s efforts to encourage the human rights of LGBTQI+ individuals in the vote. Voting is so important, and let’s explain the logic here.

If we don’t vote, imagine yourself unable to purchase your own goods and services because you’re female and can’t own property. Why do you wonder? Because a government official in the Boogaloo Boys might have been elected over your choice of candidate. This man might be sexist enough to say that women are property, and can therefore hold no property.

Imagine a world in which you were good for nothing but cooking, cleaning, sex, and having babies. Imagine the Proud or Boogaloo groups taking over the country’s economic infrastructure, taking away a woman’s right to work outside of home and shopping jobs. Imagine that you’re the maid in a rich white man’s house, or you could picture yourself as a handmaid. Even if you have a no dick policy, that doesn’t matter to the creepy old man who insists you have sex with him every week during a sacred brutal ceremony. For more, read the Handmaid’s Tale. Atwood’s predictions are scary, and they seem to be coming true in some areas, but not others. But here’s what I want as far as the voter stuff.

I want to own property, not be the property.

I want to type this blog and not be the one for whom everything is typed. I want to be the one expressing her thoughts, whether content or discontent, of the government. I don’t think violence is the answer, but what I want to see is a peaceful resolution, but moreover, arrest of all the Proud Boys and Boogaloo Boys involved in messing up my friends’ rally. DWC wants to raise money for itself, and it’s a community chorus. Women should have the right to sing nonsacred works, but in a Gileadean or Gilead like society, women will only be aunts, supplicant aunts singing praises to a patriarchal God. The Lord God Almighty this or that will be the only thing passing a lady’s lips.

Also, I am wondering why so many guys would ruin a rally for my friend in the DWC in the first place. These guys made it unsafe to sell t-shirts at the event downtown, so … and I heard gunshots in the distance. Who’s shooting who??? Here’s more about my rights though.

I want the right to marry the man of my choosing, not some stupid commander dude.

I want the right to be with Trenton, regardless of race or ability.

I want the right to access any social media or streamed media I want. This means Hulu, Netflix, Disney Plus, Prime Video, etc. No more of this thinking that females should never have access to that plus money and food stuffs.

I want safety in my own home and community, a safe place where the police don’t brutalize my friends and partners, where I can walk around and greet the warm and friendly people about me. Please, if you go vote, think about the world you want for yourself and your daughters and granddaughters and especially what you want to tell your sons. He or they will need the best information on being good to women, consent, and so on. Black men are the best type of men in my experience, and my current is the best because he looks at me, regardless of my color, like a queen. I’d rather be treated like a queen rather than a handmaid. Think about this for a few moments. If you’re a lesbian, you should think first about the rights of your friends, your fellow butches and fems, whatever you identify as. Think of what kind of world you want your daughters and sons and grandkids to live in. I doin’t want my daughter stolen from me, made into a wife, and not allowed to read or write books and blogs. So, this is all of why voting is so important, and why the rallies and all that are so important. I want to encourage the DWC girls to look carefully at the writings here in this entry, and if you want to steal it, just give credit where credit is due.

Thank you all for your support in this blog, and please for goodness sakes, go out and vote.

Beth

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Dear readers,

I can’t write much about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, not because I don’t know or respect her, but because she did all the things I expected a woman justice to do. Mrs. Ginsburg was proud of her womanhood, and she fought for women’s equality in all manner of things. She even fought Rutgers University on the whole pay front for women professors, and she didn’t even let a husband’s income stop her from earning equal pay. Mrs. Ginsburg had so much to offer, and she gave it out to all of us. She’s amazingly well loved by all, and I’m concerned that Trump, in all his infinite idiocy will try to fill the post with someone who isn’t quite qualified.

For one thing, I think Neil Gorsich is mad as hell, and Brent Cavanaugh should not have been on the bench because of what he did to those girls. He makes disabled people look bad, just as anyone else does. We can’t confirm just any woman to the Supreme Court, it has to be a woman who fights for women’s rights and equality and won’t reverse all the history Ginsburg put out there. Example, LGBTQI+ rights must be acknowledged, period. We can’t have a Conservative on the court any longer, and hopefully, Biden or whoever else is elected other than Donald Trump will do something about the indecency he brought to the courts. He wanted Ruth Bader Ginsburg to die, just so he could put more clout in the justice system which is supposed to protect everybody, not just Trump family members. We need a justice who understands what is supposed to happen.

May the memory of Ruth Bader Ginsburg be a blessing, and let her spirit carry on in the next justice to succeed her.

Beth

It’s Time to Really Save the Children

Dear readers,

It is apparent that Q-Anon is trying to steal the save the children movement, and they want to make up stories about kids being trafficked without letting other media sources in on it. Here’s the deal: there are still children being sexually abused, and if you truly want to save them from the perils of sex abuse, here’s how you can do this.

Patriarchal behavior must end. Like now. Don’t let your older grandpas and fathers force affection on your young daughters and sons. It is very vital that daughters and sons alike learn boundaries and consent at an early age. Lets be clear: you want to hug your kids when they want to be hugged, especially after toddlerhood and that’s fine. however, the primary caregiver should be at least showing affection in alternative ways to their children. Babies must be held, I’m not arguing with that, and toddlers must be shown praise for good behavior and no praise for bad. The whole thing must be done right so that the kids’ development doesn’t reach a snag or they don’t suffer longterm into adulthood. So what could snag your daughter’s or son’s development? Patriarchal behavior from old men. So that means daughters don’t need to necessarily show affection when prompted, neither should sons. Since daughters have higher risk of getting pregnant at teen age, please, mothers and fathers, make sure you stress the importance of boundaries and consent with the boys and girls alike, but it will be especially helpful for daughters.

Sexual education must cover consent. Even from the youngest children, consent must be taught in school. Preschool kids have the highest risk of being sexually abused because they don’t understand certain things, things like date and time and frequency, and they aren’t fully developed adults, no kidding. These little ones also may not have the language and cognition to understand sexual body parts and the frequency of such parts being touched, and they may have to act it out in front of you in order for you to understand what happened. For example, if a boy is caught swaying his hips in a sexually suggestive manner, wetting his bed, etc., there could be the possibility of sex abuse. Stay calm and ask your kid, did someone touch you in a way you didn’t like? That’s the best way to go about it with a child so young, according to at least one source I’ve stuck with. Teenagers may be able to express frequency and time and all that, but they are still too young to consent to sexual activity, and should not be married off to their abuser. Seventeen-year-olds in my book should never have permission to marry because they won’t be protected in case of abuse. Child marriage I’ve written about, so go check it out.

Empathy and believing kids must happen. One of my friends believes her daughter, so that is a good thing, but so many parents out there are not believing young women and girls when they say someone raped them or told them they were worthless, tried to touch them, etc. Whatever you do, as a parent, believe your child. Yes, children can lie, but this is not something to lie about. I have said over and over again about how my ex was abusive, and how the community as a whole doesn’t believe me. Well, believing women and girls can change the world, can upend the patriarchal bad behavior of old and young men alike. We must do this in order to save our children. The only way to save all our kids is to believe the ones who are abused. This is vitally important. Just as important, believe it when your son says his preschool teacher’s aid has been fondling him. I thank you for reading and supporting this blog.

Beth

Why I Am a Liberal

Dear readers,

Before you open your conservative Christian right lips and try and deface what I’m about to write, please listen with an open mind and open heart and realize that what I’m about to say is not an affront to you all, not exactly an affront to all religious things at all. I am a liberal because of a few things: my experiences as a disabled female, the victim of sexual harassment and revenge porn, albeit audio revenge porn. What was my experience like as a disabled female?

For one, my mother had to have had premarital sex in college, despite a staunch Catholic belief system. Who was her partner? I still do not know, but it is likely that her partner was African American, which explains why she refuses to believe that Michael, one of my long lost friends, was an appropriate match for me. My parents wanted say in who I married, and this is patriarchal at best, and I don’t believe in the idea that a daddy can own his daughter. I believe that a guy or gal has the right to marry anyone they want, and if they want to get married, they don’t even have to have permission from me first. Trenton’s daughters will not be owned by him, and I’m not his property either. What the church people want you to believe is that women are the property of fathers, then husbands. Please refer back to the post on Nathan Larsen, who believes women should be sex slaves and whose accounts have repeatedly been banned from the internet because his beliefs incited violence against women and minorities. I don’t believe a word of what Conservatives call antifeminist thoughts. As a female who’s been revenge porned by an ex, I believe we need to have laws in place to help those victims, and this means that men like my ex, Jason, need to put their audio porn in the garbage. I do not hereby give permission to any Jasons out there to put pictures and audio of female subjects of theirs on the Internet, period, because we are women and the body we own is ours. Women’s bodies are not the property of a male, pure and simple, and if someone like my ex had the guts to rape a woman, she should have the right to obliterate what he put in there because believe me, abortion would not be a regrettable decision at that point. I don’t want to know if that product is a male or female, and if I may use such a cold term to refer to babies at all, the product of a seedy person who just doesn’t give a damn about women and minorities is not my child to raise. IF I had been forced to live in the deep south, and was raped by a man who had sex on his mind, I would indeed give the baby away in the hospital or abort. Those would be my options, and I don’t want someone who is capable of oppression doing more harm to women than good. Because of the experiences I’ve seen, having been an indirect witness to other people’s sufferings and needs, I chose liberalism because it is the only path to equality and justice for all. Let me outline my principles and beliefs, which do resonate with me and with the Universalist Unitarian church.

I believe in all facets of liberty and justice for all. This means what it says. When a woman is unjustly fired from her job because she has had premarital sex, I would say she needs to sue the company and tell them she was raped if indeed that crime was committed. My friend Joy (name has been altered for privacy reasons), was raped by a man in california who was in training at the Colorado Center for the Blind. I have believed her, which is a big first step, but if CCB were to have kicked her out because of premarital sex, this would be a sign of injustice and male privilege. CCB gets federal dollars and grants, so I honestly believe she should at least confront her rapist and tell him that he’s a monster. This man, Brian (name has been altered for privacy reasons) went on to impregnate a girl in New Mexico whose name I don’t know, or someone at convention or someone I don’t know at all. The woman was in Fort Collins, Colorado, and her son, Brian’s son, was adopted out. She might have made the right choice, but I’m afraid for her son who might inherit the seediness of Brian’s DNA or a trait that should bee tempered and tamed through counseling and therapy and some medications. Will the little guy become a sexual offender? I hope not.

I believe that women are equal to men, and that means in all aspects. Minorities and women have been routinely disenfranchised from the system for loving who they love, being who they are, and for having female genitalia. This is grossly unfair, and that’s another reason why I’m a liberal. I write this blog because the disability community has a long way to go to acknowledge that women are equal. joy was taken advantage of because she was someone who had female genitalia, and that is not fair, on top of the fact that she is blind and has other health issues. Brian with his male privilege is a real piece of dirt. He should acknowledge that all women are equal, but by no means should he ever say to me, as he said in one Facebook comment, “I am glad you are not in a position of power.” This man, oddly enough, is in no position to make choices in politics, so let’s keep it that way.

Black and white people should at least be together through all means. Races should be integrated. It took me years to get through this, but part of my blog is devoted to racial justice. It took me a lot of time and thoughts to think about what black and white means. So what if African Americans are different? So their culture is different, what is the point? Trenton is a sweet and caring individual who has a lot of love to give, so I’m staying with him no matter what. trenton is black, I was raised white, but I could be mixed race. See above. The thing to remember is that I started out as the roommate of someone who truly for whatever reason hated my guts. I don’t know if Christy (name has been changed) would ever speak to me again, but she was black. I tried to be friendly with her later on Facebook, but she’s gone. I hate to see her gone, and I thought I’d make up all the time spent not understanding, not in and of her world, to at least say something. Christy is gone, and I don’t know where.

Same sex couples have a right to adopt. Don’t tell me they don’t. I’d like to also acknowledge that there are some poly folks on my page. They are amazing, just plain amazing. I have a poly friend in Texas who has not one, but two husbands. She’s pretty amazing, and I want to acknowledge that women should have a right to polyamorous marriages if they want because trust me, it would prevent a lot of instances of cheating and … well, it would mean harmony for the whole family. Polygamy as practiced in the FLDS is of course a wrong idea, but still I think women should choose what they want, and marry who they want. I chose Trenton, and he chose me. Of course, he begs me very loudly to bring home another girl, but he’s probably kidding around. Yes, it would be nice, but Trenton is weird as all weirdos are. That’s just who he is, and that’s why I love him dearly.

My activism has been restricted to the blog and podcast. However, I want to be able to put the podcast on other means, in other means, and so on. As a podcaster, I want to be able to convey what a lot of liberals need to feel. As a person who is blind and a victim and survivor of revenge porn and sexual harassment, I want to say that being a liberal and not attending a conservative minded church is the best thing I can do at this point. I want to see true freedom while I’m around. And what does that freedom look like? Well, because I can’t marry legally, I want access to the same jobs and things as those who are staunch Christians. Since Trenton and I are on disability, we want the same access to healthcare, and we want any gay or transgender child to get life affirming care because they deserve it. Period. We want to make sure that we’re good parents, and if we adopt, we’ll adopt someone who doesn’t normally get adopted. That’s the thing. And we want that right, married or not. We want the domestic foster system to make sure we are recognized in the adoption papers. I don’t want to have to apply as a single mother, nor does or should Trenton have to play single father in order to get benefits for the children. So what should we do anyway? This is what fighting and freedom looks like from my lens.

For those of you who are wondering, I”m wanting to monetize this blog. I’d also like to use Patreon to get ads out there promoting my blog, promoting the stuff I do and talk about. Why? Bread and butter, of course, but moreover, I want people to see my life as valid, the lives of my friends as valid, and the lives of women and girls and minorities with disabilities and their lives as valid. I could have been Bahai, but religiously I was raised Catholic, converted to islam, left Islam, and then decided that I’d not be practicing any religious faith because of the conservative lynchpins I’ve seen, the whole thing about premarital sex being stupid and unfair. When a woman is raped, premarital sex is not to be considered. Rape victims should be given kindness and care, not thrown out on the streets. When a woman is the victim of revenge porn, it should be duly noted that the men who do this should be put in jail, forced to pay a pension for the woman’s distress, and not allowed to date for a period of time. If I was a judge in Georgia, for example, I’d tell my ex that “Mr. Owens, you put up this revenge porn stuff on Teamtalk. Think about your victim, and since you don’t have empathy for others, why not sit back and ask yourself, will I or my victim have a job after this?” I’d sentence Mr. Owens to life in prison without parole for the distribution of revenge porn around the servers he’s been on. I would hope that someone ketches him stalking women and girls as he has been doing, and stops him before he gets worse. Judges talk like the way I wrote that quote, so you all need to know that, just saying.

I’d like to say also that those of you checking out my blog, you are amazing. Please feel free to read, and let the words I write speak truth to power. That’s what I’m doing.

Beth

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Part 2: How Does Matchmaking Affect Disabled People?

Dear readers,

Matchmaking is a popular alternative to just letting love find you, but in the previous piece I wrote, I discussed foreign brides. This is a pretty big business in Asia, and I got a sleazy email about meeting sexy Russian women, and there I am a female who has a man already. How does this big foreign bride business affect disabled people? Well, let’s take a look at the stats and numbers regarding disabled potential mates out there.

One thing, blind people are most likely to be single, not able to find a mate, especially if they are living at home with parental figures. I was unable to pursue this while at home in Florida for obvious reasons. My parents really didn’t get to see a lot of who I was because they suppressed it. On top of this, I had fallen for a Haitian black man who was rather a lot like me, and his child needed a better mother who would talk to her, play with her, and do things with her like, as she grows older, help her with schoolwork and homework. It would be obvious if Michael had picked me for his wife, but foreign bridal markets could have swayed Michael to pick someone else from someplace like Russia, Africa, or Haiti itself. Michael should know that spam emails exist to bait him and other men who are seeking a wife and it is ill advised to get a foreign bride.

Foreign brides like those in Vietnam are also taking up spaces where disabled women could end up married or productive. Disabled women, by the way, are more than capable of having and raising children, but a woman with intellectual disability should at least have proper case management and resources to teach her how to parent a child correctly, and there is a correct way to parent. Disabled women who want to be in a matchmaking service should consider that the partner they are matched with could be one of a few things: nondisabled and abusive, disabled but poor and still abusive, or disabled and loving and very devoted to making sure the woman feels comfortable. A disabled bride should look forward to the third option most likely, and I would highly advise disabled brides to be never to use a matchmaking service for their particular culture because most Asian and African cultures, for example, don’t like disabled women period. They also sell their young daughters off, no matter what continent you’re on, for a price to an older and perverted gentleman, or just plain man. Bride prices range from maybe $600 to $6000 depending on the wealth and prestige of the groom. If the groom has other wives, it makes it more difficult for the bride to get settled as the senior wives might claim the man as theirs, not allowing him to fall in love with her. I would never consider being a junior wife to someone, only one wife in my case. Why? Because husbands might find a nondisabled wife more desirable, blame my blindness on everything, and mistakenly believe that my offspring will be blind. This is another issue i’ll take up in the next piece. Polygamy is a real issue that the U.S. has dealt with and especially Utah and Arizona. Watch for another piece on the Colorado City/Hildale wives and you’ll be surprised at the ending.

So the foreign bride market might not only close the real spaces needed for blind women to marry, but it could either way pose a problem. Foreign and disabled brides who land in both categories could face murder and abuse at the hands of a nondisabled husband. I’ve been given too much in the way of superiority games played by my own father, and I have to remind my partner that such games are inappropriate for any moment in play or otherwise. My partner understands when I tell him that what he does is wrong, but other men might not understand. Other men might say, “I can see, you can’t. You have to do what I say, and what I want you to do is eat, sleep, cook, sex, whatever.” So think about this, disabled women. What do you want in a relationship? I personally want a love that lasts, yes, but there’s more to it. The secrets to my relationship are as follows, and I’m willing to show you guys what makes it tick.

One, we’re meant for each other and compatible with each other’s needs. Trenton is blind, and so am I. We’re both in love with each other, which helps immensely. We speak the same language, we live in the same area. Those things help, so to those who think they’re in for a foreign bride, watch out. Unless that woman is in your personal network, she’s not to be considered. If you don’t know who you’re talking to, can’t speak to her in person in her language, if you can’t hang out in person and get alone with her a few times, it’s not worth it. Blind or otherwise, you gotta see a man’s or woman’s true colors. You got to know how this potential mate behaves around you, his mom, his dad, her mom and dad, etc. Trenton treats his mom like a queen, and so should every male. If a man doesn’t respect his mom, odds are he will treat you the woman like trash. That’s another secret to good relating to the one you love.

Disclaimer: I want to do a piece dedicated to how the arranged marriage systems in some cultures affects the LGBTQI+ communities, but most foreign women sell themselves off to men, not women, and there’s nothing wrong with lesbians wanting to be with female partners. However, since most of the marriage market affects heterosexual females, that’s who I’m mostly talking to at this moment. Please don’t be offended if you’re gay or queer and reading this, but take heart. Disabled, female, and queer does not have to be a death sentence.

To the disabled women who want to flee the abuse of family and kin relations, go for it. You have only one life to live, and this is your life. You can go wherever you want, and please, whatever you do, seek asylum in a country like Canada or the United States because we will teach you our languages and let you be yourself. Make the president mad, as a matter of fact, so that Biden can fix the immigration rules. You don’t want to pay a thousand bucks you don’t have, especially if you’re a foreign wife of a guy or a foreign woman who can’t live in a country like the Philippines or even India or Laos, don’t worry, if you’re in a situation you don’t want to be in, or don’t feel comfortable in, just get out. Those are the best words of advice I have. For blind women, don’t think your standards can go lower so you can find more men. You could be sifting through a haystack looking for a gold needle for years, and could cost you your life. So do us all a favor and keep your standards high, don’t let someone lay a hand on you, and don’t slip and fall into the trap of “If I do or don’t do this, he’ll love me more.” Self respect is highly important, and men need to listen to you. You will carry his child, do the things necessary to begin life itself, so he needs to let you lead the family and not attack you for being the one to protect yourself and your children to be. Thank you all for your support.

Beth