Work Adjustment Training and Other Matters

It’s something to go to work and get paid for what you do, but it’s worse to go to work bonded to a state rehabilitation agency who enslaves the blind and makes you do things that are out of the way to succeed.  As much as I care about my boss at the Work Adjustment Training I do three days a week, it’s worthless to look at the curriculum.  What with the office curriculum and stuff that I have to do in order to prove stuff to her and my rehabilitation counselor–what a weird title for someone working with blind people–I have to do more.  Social skills groups so I can be “focused.”  What?  I’m sorry, but if any blind person reads this, they oughta know something about state Rehabilitation agencies.  My Blake is going through hell with Arizona’s because of their “shortage” of counselors.  Bull.  I”m sorry, I won’t write the other syllable in there for fear that someone might think I’m nuts.

Like I’m already nuts.  Blake says his Rehab agency is driving him nuts.  They didn’t call him three weeks in advance so he could tell his dear mother about stuff around that.  She teaches tai kwon do at a studio in her locale, and she also worked.  Well, due to extenuating circumstances not covered in the blog, she went away from her dispatching work.  Oh, dear Miss Cathy, I pray that whatever circumstances hit you, you’re strong against them.  After all, I’ve had worse.  Imagine losing your rights, losing your mental sanity, losing the door that opens to the world.  Imagine being thrown in an iron door room with a sign on it marked INCOMPETENT and a second thing in the window with a picture of me as a baby.  Ok, imagine being thrown out of the living room so that your mother’s golden babies can have all the attention.  That happened at a younger day, but also imagine those golden boys succeeding before your very eyes, and there you are, labeled LOSER, INCOMPETENT, STUPID, IDIOT.  This is something that happened to me.  You are lucky to have sons, even if you might have lost one of them.  So what?  You are lucky to have a husband who can stand up and support you in any circumstance.  CAn’t you say that Blake can have that stuff?  We’re both bogged down, but I always make time for Blake, but if he goes to work, even so, I make time for him.  People who are truly in love make time for each other, always and every day, no matter what.  That’s a healthy relationship.  Why take that away from me?  Why?  I need that because of my illness and because of other issues I won’t discuss here.  Oh, … this is just the beginning.  I could go on for hours about it, but dear friend, I can’t.  I love you.

Ok, I could get pretty teary eyed about it.  Ok, I’m going to do a review of Mockingjay but I do know the first few chapters talk about Katniss going crazy.  Well, imagine you were the ones who saw your friends or peers die around you or try to kill you.  Imagine losing a twelve-year-old friend.  Imagine being told that you are the threat that your country doesn’t want.  Imagine your fellow district tribute falls in love with you.  Then, imagine your city burning in ashes.  Oh yes, Katniss went through all of that, so I can imagine her life with flashbacks, nightmares, etc.  I feel for Katniss because she has to take medications and drugs, but she suffers from a lot worse mental problems than I do.  At only seventeen, she has flashbacks and nightmares and all kinds of hallucinations and such, all signs of situational schizoeffective disorder.  Yeah, weirdness is a part of it, but she’s almost broken down.  Peeta is there for her, even if he has the same issues.  Hey, if anyone had to watch their peers die around them, that would cause such a disorder to haunt them forever.

That is all I have to say, I’ll write more about Mockingjay, and maybe I’ll say something further about why Katniss and I are almost the same.  We’ve had far different circumstances, but the same stuff occurs.

Introduction

My name is Beth.  I’ve heard this blog site was great.  Yeah, I can NEVER keep a blog for some reason, so I decided, what with ambition and the weirdness I have built up in my brain, that I’d do it again.  Oh no!  I thought to my self, Beth Taurasi, you can’t even keep the blog going.  Yes, I had a google blog, but forget that.  I went with LiveJournal, but whoa.  Forget it.  I’m totally weird now, and have a WordPress account, thinking I could write in it every day.

As someone who is blind from birth, I have had many challenges.  I’ve been through a multitude of things, some I cannot discuss in a public blog, but others I can tell you.  Being blind has its challenges.  people tell you that you cannot do stuff, and it’s darn typical for schools to leave you out of physical activities.  What with the schools’ obesity probs with kids these days, it boggles my mind why phys ed is exclusive to sighted kids.  I’m sorry, but my current boyfriend, a tai kwon do black belt, someone who’s had like 39 surgeries to correct various facial stuff and head deformities and the like, has done physical stuff.  Yes, he can’t do ball sports like the rest of the guys, but his martial arts training is more than just a hand to hand physical activity.  Blake’s moods are wonderful, and I think at least the physical part relieves stress.  He’s lucky his mom teaches and stuff, and she’s also a black belt.  Blake, alas, has been through his own set of challenges, and so have I.  Thus begins my story from here.  Today is March 30, 2014.  It’s a Sunday, my bf’s favorite day in the whole world.  He loves God, and that’s drawing me to him more and more.  His intoxication with God is good.  I don’t think it’s like he’s completely drunk.  And he never gets stoned.  I’ve never went so far as to say he’s drunk.  He’s drunk with devotion to the Lord, and that’s better than most guys, who’d rather be drunk with devotion to porn and stuff.  What more could I ask for!

With all this in mind, let’s begin a journey of healing and hope together.  I’m writing this because it feels good to write in a blog.  But ah, I must keep this thing in a high maintenance thing.  Blake is always on Twitter, and so am I.  Now, this blog is definitely going to be a good start to making things heard.  Let me talk about me now.  I love to read, write, play music, sing, etc.  My favorite movies include such greats at most as the Harry Potter series, which includes not seven, but EIGHT MOVIES!  I love, however, the new Hunger Games movies.  The books are supposed to be better, but I want to read Mockingjay, the third book in the series.  Uh, are you following me?

Throughout my life, I’ve always loved books.  I read books that answer and raise questions of social stigma, value, and so on.  What I’m saying is that I’d read the Giver, and it raises questions like, “Should the littlest and most helpless newborn child be killed?”  We know the obvious answer to that one.  IF Blake had been born in the Giver communities, he’d have been left to die in the hills, or in Gathering Blue, they’d call it the Field of Leaving.  It would not be a good thing for any involved.  Then, there’s the Birthmarked Trilogy.  There are many questions in this one: should disabled people be not given an education?  Should babies who are “healthy and whole” be traded as goods for only healthy parents?  What is advancing really about?  Gaia Stone is a midwife whose parents are under arrest for something or other, and she’s finding stuff out as I am reading Birthmarked, the first book.  I’ve got to see waht happens to Bonnie and Jasper Stone.  Unfortunately, the land in which Gaia lives is wrought with baby selling and disabled children are called “freaks.”  What?  I am a blind woman, and I refuse to be called one myself.  Then, there’s the Hunger Games.  To what extent must we exert control of a people?  How do you keep a people under control?  Not with a game such as the Hunger Games.  Not with the extent of the death and violence experienced by the teenage and preteen people in the book.  I cried when Ru died because Katniss, sweet as she was and still kind of is, cried too and sang as she lowered Ru to the floor.  Ru was obviously her friend, and if my friends died like that, I’d be crying too.  Therefore, I must state that I cried buckets when Katniss had to bury Ru like that.  It was sad.

Those are just a few of the books and stories I’ve read that raise questions about social issues, and such issues may include the “perfect child” movement I sometimes hate.  I often hate the way parents get rid of disabled kids.  I’ve seen the late and great Adrienne Asch’s work on bioethics and all that stuff about how abortion of disabled people is a bad idea.  Selective abortion has never been a favorite thing of mine.  80% of Down’s Syndrome infants are aborted these days, and that’s sad.  Blake and I discussed the possibilities, and if I do become pregnant, we have this idea that we’re not going to prenatally test the infant in our care.  That doesn’t seem right for us, and if we have to, such a test is going to render a doc incompetent and unsatisfied, and could encourage the male or female M.D. trained doctor to say, “Uh, Mr. Tucker, you guys, you might want to reconsider having this baby.  He/she has Down’s Syndrome.”  Honestly, Jenny Hatch was a hero, is a hero, and has Down’s.  I have nothing against her, but any disability, whether it be intellectual or physical, does not warrant a lack of education or lack of stuff.  I’d much rather be a rich diva who has it all, but then again, even the rich don’t.  Take Heath Ledger, who had it all and died young.  That’s just me.  I’m an intellectual person who always has to ask, “Should I or what should I do?”

Ok, back to me.  I’m also a dog and horse lover.  Dogs are like men are, and horses like women in my book.  Horses are the most trusting animals ever.  They trust you as long as you respect them and treat them well.  Same with us ladies.  I don’t trust absolutely every guy.  I’ll say why in a later post.

I love lots of animals, dogs among them.  Men are like different breeds.  For instance, my boyfriend Blake Tucker might be classified as having the personality of a golden retriever mixed with a labrador retriever.  Why?  He’s so sweet, kisses everybody, is intelligent, and does lots of protection along with that.  All signs of a lab and golden personality are all over Blake.  However, some guys are bald dogs, some guys are golden ones.  It depends on the personality.

My family is composed of me, my two brothers in florida, and my parents in Florida.  Both my parents worked at Kennedy Space Center when they met and married.  Ok, I’ll say later in another post why this is.  As it is, the closest person to me is Blake, and he and I both believe that my blood family hasn’t done their job as a family.  Blake is my closest lover, adviser, friend, etc.  HE loves me more than words.  He is the one who will walk through fire and water to be with me, and even his mom can’t stop him.  His mom could easily have had me prosecuted for speaking to him, but no, she thinks we’re just “friends.”  What?  I’m sorry, but we’re going to get further than that.  My policy is that she can’t have anything to say about us when we’re eventually engaged and married and so on.  AT 27, I have no husband, job, or house.  I’d rather have the daily stresses of motherhood and wifehood rather than the current stresses I face.  More in a later post.

Myh favorite food is anything Italian, such cheese as goat and cheddar, and so on.  Boy as this post has been long, I’ve written a lot of stuff about me.  You are all welcome to reblog and comment as much as you’d like, but please, no profanity and offensive comments.  I already had to delete someone on Facebook for this, no names.  I love you all.

Beth