Which Disney Movie Would I Most Relate To?

Dear readers,

It’s hard to find out what Disney movie any young blind woman can relate to, but let’s face it: all the princesses were able, sighted, and yes, pretty in pink and blonde, except for Princess Tiana, who later wanted to open her restaurant, and … spoilers, yes, she did. But even Tiana has some sort of a dream and a hope for her future. I’m sorry, but none of the Disney princesses can be relatable to me as a blind female, though I do confess to having a couple favorites, Belle being among them. But Belle wasn’t blind, and she sure wasn’t unable to walk or talk, so what princess could possibly become blind? When I was searching Hailey’s YouTube username, which … shameless plug, blindprincess is her username, but I got these weird Nigerian films that popped up in my search results, and I am now wondering why Disney refuses to do a movie about a princess who can’t see, walk, or … can’t do something uniquely physical to the condition of man. You have a black princess, but most of the others are blonde, so … ditto on Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Arielle the mermaid, Princess Mia from the Princess Diaries, Elsa from Frozen, Ana from Frozen, there are no princess figures in the Hunchback of Notre Dame, so … let me browse some more. Oh, Deja from John Carter was Martian, and we don’t even know if Tartis Moores is going to ever be for real, but really. Then you have princesses in other Eurocentric stories, ones that don’t have a name, and epic adventures involving every manner of aspect, Wendy is not a princess in Peter Pan, but you do have that Native girl, Princess Tigerlily, but she gets kidnapped by pirates, so ditto on the damsel part. Okay, and there are princesses well known in books, including Aravis from the Chronicles of Narnia, Trenton’s favorite books, but alas, Aravis was still a damsel, so … totally not relatable and stuff. The only blind princess ever has to be that strange Nigerian story in a film that nobody talks about, and I feel like nobody’s going to understand the story of a blind girl as princess role. Just picture the kids in bed: “Mommy, why aren’t you a princess?” Or perhaps, “Mommy, how did you get blind?” Ugh, I’m sorry, but I can’t tell my children the Eurocentric princess stories because none of them are relatable to black kids, so guess I’ll have to stick with Tiana for my sighted kids of one day far in the distance, but then they could get the wrong impression. Kids are malleable, impressionable, very unable to lie. Like my worker’s daughter doesn’t lie when she says to her mother, “That house smells like poop.” And her mother couldn’t help but believe her daughter because yep, kids are not always dishonest, but kids know stuff adults don’t. But what kills me the most is that a princess is never depicted as blind, and she is never depicted as what Raoul Midon called, “badass and blind.” Yes, I like a princess who’s badass, but please, Disney, I need a way to relate my story to my kids one day. I need to do this for theh worker’s daughter because she’s just too sweet not to do that for. I need to concoct something that she can relate to, a princess who can’t see that represents the women with disabilities who are hurt, traumatized, god forbid raped, and dragged down to the dustbin when they try to find work or find their places in the world. Princess Mia might have had an anomaly in her body image and stuff, but she … I repeat this a million times, was, not, disabled. Should my worker’s daughter, let’s call mer Mia, have to settle? And for less in life? The princess in my story has to be blind or autisticc or both, and Disney won’t pursue any such things. Princesses aren’t blind, my mother said, but guess what? Mom, Dad, you treated me like a badly beaten or browbeaten damsel, so now I have to explain to my kids why I live in a bug infested loft instead of a nice chateau, or why I have no pets or kids in Mia’s case if I told her because yeah, this princess is not supposed to be badass, can’t drive or if I lived in Medieval days, ride horses wherever I want, hell I’d be dead if I was born in the fourteenth century, where Sleeping Beauty takes place. That’s like 13 somethings and so much time ago that automobiles were not invented, cars were scarce later anyway, but there was a great deal of misconception and stereotypes about blind people. The princess in my story has to come from a modern age, which isn’t that magical. Yes, what can I say … we have no fairies, but we do have Wiccans, but if you say the word witch, that’s actually does not have a negative association with it like it did in the bad old days of hanging and public whippings for being a witch, etc etc. Gone are the bad old days of slavery that is more noticeable, but now today’s wording is “human trafficking.” The princess in my story is going to have to be fictional, of course, but I want a story that a blind or disabled kid can relate to. Mia can’t relate to stories about blonde or brunette princesses, especially ones that don’t have to face bullies and kicking feet all the time at school. Since when did a fairy tale princess go to school? Unless you’re Amelia from Princess Diaries, no. Most rich royals had tutors, but this isn’t relatable. Yes, the Disney stories are fun and full of magic, but for an autistic or blind child, this is pure fantasy. It is not only fantasy to be a princess, but to find a role model in the menagerie of princess characters to relate to. I am definitely not Jakob and Wilhelm Grimm, the brothers from Germany, and I liked their animal stories and woodland adventures best, Hansel and Gretel being one of those. But let’s start the story at the beginning. Maybe I should do a separate post later on. IF you guys think a relatable princess should be in the cards for those with disabilities, I think that would be good. The only story I can think was one called Silent Bianca, one about a maiden who could not talk, but the only way to hear her words was by the fireplace, because her mouth was basically silent, her words were like slivers of ice. In the story, spoiler alert, Bianca uses her powers to win a kingdom and fool a bunch of noblemen and soldiers into going home to their wives, they couldn’t believe the voices coming from the cookfires in the morning. So the king made it a point to marry Bianca, and she became a queen. Ugh, does she have to be a marriage piece? What if the protagonist in my story isn’t a princess at all? What if she’s one of the peasant girls like in some of the Grimm stories, like Sweetheart Roland? That one’s about a wicked old woman who tries to kill her good daughter so the ugly daughter can have something and everything she wants, but then she killed her ugly favorite daughter instead, and it gets creepier. Really creepy.

One thing I want to make clear: girls love princess things, stories, themed accessories, but I want to make my story a bit exaggerated for the effect, embellish a few small things, but I do not do not want a marriage piece, a sad ending, or god forbid a wicked old woman. I want the guys to be bad in my story, but the status of the girl must be unknown for now.

If you want to make a comment, please do so on Facebook and Twitter as always, so … there you have it.

Beth

What Happens When a Guy Calls Your Restaurant, Bombs a Job Interview, and then Tries to Fill Out a Visa to Stay in Canada? Watch this video and find out.

Dear readers,

Ownage Pranks has some pretty weird stuff you would love. Please watch the following video, and before you do, watch the previous videos referenced, but make sure you are sitting down and relaxed so you can laugh without your guts spilling out and filling the room. My blog here is not responsible for anyone’s death by laughing funeral costs, so … watch away.

Summer of Boredom Getting You Down? Here’s some bingeworthy and Good Netflix and Other Streaming Content

Dear Readers,

Whether you are a child, teen, or adult who’s bored out of their damn mind this summer because of that darn virus that everybody’s catching, there is quite a bunch of content I can recommend. LEt me review some of the best new and old content I’ve run across on Hulu, Netflix, Disney Plus, Prime Video, and Apple TV Plus.

First, let’s start with how to become members of these streaming thingies. You have to shell out $10 at minimum for Netflix and if you’re a household with multiscreen usage, I’d recommend the 2-screen plan, $15 plus or something around there. However, the cheapest streaming service you can get currently goes to Apple TV Plus for $5 per month. That’s actually not bad. Disney Plus and Hulu can be purchased in a bundle, but that includes ESPN, and you sports enthusiasts might like it, but I didn’t want all that extra content.

Now, let me show you the five or maybe even as many cool new and returning things on all the streaming platforms that might get you over this covid summer.

1. The Baby-Sitters Club books have always been a staple in many a 90s girl’s library, but check this out: Netflix users rejoice, especially if you are a female who grew up in the 90s. This is the Baby-Sitters Club show and the first season begins with Christy’s Great Idea, and honestly, it’s a really great idea complete with the same nostalgia, but with a modern touch to it as well. We meet Christy, the great founder of this glorious club, and she ends up realizing there’s a competitive need in a world where adult baby sitters are not fun. Sitters in my view were teenagers, and girls are more than good at this, but Christy says boys can try it too. OF course, there was an old movie with guys baby sitting in it, but this show is sure to please everybody who grew up with the actual books.

2. For the younger crowd, again on Netflix, we find Danger Mouse. My partner, Trenton, loved the classic DM series, but I’m here to say that the new reboot series is audio described in detail, and the lady who does it has a great British accent, even better there’s a little narration a la Rocky and Bullwinkle. See below for more on that one too.

3. On Amazon Prime Video, which boasts some pretty silly and weird comedy shows, there’s a scifi comedy called Upload, which I completed myself. Imagine a world where you can upload yourself to a big digital server after you die. Now it gets scarier when Nathan, a party boy in his twenties or something, gets uploaded and falls in love with his customer service “angel”, Nora. It puts both of them in some rowdy and wild adventures, danger included. Get ready for some thought provoking questions after you’re finished.

4. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle is now voiced by Tara Strong who is famous for her voice acting in My Little Pony among other things. Rocky is a big moose, and I believe Bullwinkle is a squirrel, if I’m not exactly mistaken and if memory serves me right. Rocky and Bullwinkle has some interesting narration, and all that stuff you imagine them going through? They see it. Rocky and Bullwinkle had a movie, but this Amazon Prime reboot is great for the whole family.

5. Warning: This one is not worth watching alone, but the Handmaid’s Tale is due for another season. I’ve written so many references in here about the Handmaid’s Tale, but for those who haven’t yet gotten acquainted with it, here’s the premise: the United States becomes an ultra Christian republic, and every word of the book of Genesis becomes law. Gays are hanged, priests of other faiths hanged, you see a bloody mess in a lot of this, but this show captures what could happen if we don’t get off our butts and speak up sharply that our rights belong to us. The Handmaid’s Tale is on Hulu and recently became audio described so enjoy it while we have the recent seasons to muddle through.

6. The Order has a recent new season, and I’d like to thank a certain Chenelle for recommending this show for me. The Order is about a college boy who explores a secret society of magicians who may be responsible for his mother’s death. This series can be found on Netflix, and is a thrill to watch.

7. If you want some trashy comic and humor stuff, jump over to Amazon Prime video and try the Marvelous Mrs. Mayzel, in which a comedian who marries and has kids finds herself having to topple the barriers placed in front of her for being a Jewish woman in New York in the 1950s or so. This takes place at a time when women had to wear skirts, couldn’t even say the f word, and so much more. I think you guys will love this one a lot.

8. In the world of Hulu, we find Shrill, which is abouut a woman making her way in the world. If you want an adult chic flick, this is your passport to chic flick happiness.

9. There’s a good chance you haven’t seen the show Diary of a Future President, but on Disney Plus, you will meet a girl who wants to be the president and … yes, she keeps a diary about her life in middle school. This one’s good for teens and adults alike.

10. F is for family. Ugh, you want a family guy like show that doesn’t include Peter Griffin and his drunken escapades, but does include some stupid gags and such? This one’s for you. Turn it on over to Netflix, and try watching this four season show. Also similar to this one, we have Bojack Horseman, which will be doing its final things, and that is six seasons.

Disclaimer: All of these items here have been audio described for blind and visually impaired audiences, so your blind friends will be able to watch these things. If you have a suggestion about some bingeworthy content on any streaming service, please coment on Twitter or Facebook. Thank you bunches.

Beth