Easter hasn’t always been a time of resurrection and renewal, but most of all, my parents would go with the pagan rituals of Easter eggs and bunnies to try and fit in to the world. Unfortunately, Christians don’t always see it that way. Muslims never celebrate it, but the Jews have something else, Passover. Of all the religious sects I’ve seen, Islam is so boring and there’s no celebration except for Eid. Sorry, but the Eid Festivals and so on don’t really add up to what Christians are free to do. We’re free to choose our mates in most cultures, and I don’t know about choosing mates, but I chose Blake because he has the same disability I do. Here’s my pastor telling me that I have to do things the way it says right there in the big book, but how can you! How do I get to know Blake without doing anything physical? Sex I can understand, but the whole hugging and kissing part? I don’t get it. I simply do not get it.
As for the thought of celebrating Easter, my parents always went to Grammy’s house. I call my dad’s mother Grammy, as the other men have done so to their grandmothers. My dad’s grandma was Grammy to him, and that’s just the way it was. Grammy’s house was usually packed full of Italian food, family, fun, well, I don’t know about fun. Egg hunts were a part of the family rituals, but I don’t know if I want to do Easter egg hunts with my own children. Can you imagine the girls/boys hunting for eggs in the yard and not getting the kind of eggs they desire? That can really mess with their minds. I don’t mind jelly beans, but still, I don’t know. I’d rather skip the whole Easter egg hunt thing, after all it’s a pagan rite and does not apply to Christians who truly understand what Sunday is about. This current Sunday is about Jesus resurrecting from the dead. Catholics are not always believers in Easter, but Easter was not mentioned in the bible, is not ever involved in Biblical times. Pagans, of course, have their holidays. The new year is October 31. It’s weird, but that’s what it is. It’s drawn from Celtic traditions.
My Easter celebrations have always been about some thing or other I’ve done wrong, so I don’t know if I can celebrate today. My own family would not make it a holiday for everyone, just the boys. Usually, I would be punished for something or other, and it wasn’t something I even cared about. My dad would tell me not to do something or other, and I’d have to get out of my room. Well, disobedience if not outright defiance is something I’d have to do at this point because for one, being in the living room with people who don’t even care to talk to you is downright bad, and for two, the people in the living room don’t really want to do anything but watch a race and play around on the Fan Zones, watch the television or be quiet. They expected quiet from me, and all the while there goes my brothers and parents talking away about Jeff Gordon’s new paint job or other. When I told Blake this, he was furious. Blake is furious with my family, totally furious with my Dad among other things. Blake deserves to know what’s up. I didn’t really like going to Grandma’s house very much during Easter, not as much as Christmas. Grandmas usually don’t have the best food on Easter, but it’s usually good at weddings and Christmas. That’s it.
My parents don’t seem to see the point I’m trying to make. The humiliation and so on that I faced during Easter is not something I can deal with. Not being allowed to listen to my stereo system because of one infraction or another is absolutely horrendous, and I can remember one occasion where my mother had to scream at me because of what she described as “horrendous” behavior. Well, behavioral difficulties or not, there is no excuse for hitting a small person.
This brings me to another thought I had. As a parent, I do not think it wise to hit a small child. My parents think it ok to belt, spank, cuff, or threaten a small child. Well, the smallness of the person doesn’t make a difference in the way physical violence is dealt out. There is no way I can justify spanking or belting or whipping a small girl. Is rape a proper punishment? While that is extreme, some grandfathers have been known to do this. I have a friend whose granddad raped her, and she got pregnant. Guess what? She had to take care and be a mommy because of him, and she never left her baby’s side. But she eventually blessed her relatives with her, and the baby’s doing fine. But to say the least, Grandfathers have a responsibility not to do things like that to their granddaughters. I’m not saying all, but there’s no place for an older guy to have a younger girl like that. No place, none.
As a parent to be, or a potentially good parent, I want nothing to do with physical punishment because kids will be traumatized or become mentally ill as a result of parental mishandling of discipline. Disciplining a child for even the most minor infractions with major punishments is wrong. I will never do this, never. I wouldn’t ban the practice of discipline altogether, but there has to be careful monitoring of what happens. If, for instance, Blake decides to hit his son for not being man enough to do something manly, I’d have to yell at him and say, “No you can’t do that. Now you go make peace with your son, and do not ever do that again.” I’d have to show Blake exactly what he did to his son, and I’d use physical force, brute force, to tell him that making a boy a man is not a physical act of violence.
This is leading somewhere. During holidays, discipline should be administered, but no physical punishment of any sort. There’s no place, I will say again, for a big person to hit or even smother a little person. Just because the kid is little or smaller than you does not mean you hit the person. If, for instance, a six-foot guy hits his little two-foot toddler, there’s something wrong with that. The toddler learns that physical force is ok. Physical punishment makes bullies out of men, passive slaves out of girls, and ruins families all around.
As if that is the only thing I’m thinking about right now, I remember my parents telling me what to write, or risk being punished. I was told I couldn’t write about a certain guy I had a crush on, and they made it impossible for me to express myself in writing. Well, there should be laws banning the depressing of teenagers, and we should reiterate the first Amendment. I will express myself in writing as much as possible, and so here goes:
\I read in a book about Islamic families and how they are bringing their culture to us in America that physical punishment and violence are a really integral part of Islam. And the Muslim culture? Well, ask Ayaan Hirsi Ali. She said frankly, schools always taught that violence was ok and acceptable. Like I said earlier, however, there’s no place for physical punishment or violence in homes. There’s a treatment Ayaan discusses in her latest book, the Itha Shansu treatment. Something about the chapter in the Qur’an that talks about the judgment. They do this in a certain Somali or Kenyan religious school she went to. I don’t know the name, but if a girl or boy was bad, they got the treatment, which involves the girl or boy who was bad being swung around in a hammock while the class hit the person with willow switches or something. All this was done to the cadence of the chapter in the Qur’an that talked about the judgments. Physical violence is not ok, no matter the situation.
I can give an example of another instance of physical force. Ayaan talks about a lady who hit her for getting her math sums wrong. Um, the way to do it is simple: say this is wrong, get the sums right. The answer is whatever it is, so try that again. You’ll see if it’s wrong or right.
If it really was what it was, the child wouldn’t need physical violence in order for homework to be done correctly. Asha Artan always had an abusive streak to her according to Ayaan. That was always a part of the family. Religion, however, overtook everything.
As a Christian, I want to make it clear that holidays are a time to celebrate, not be traumatized by something or other. If a child is sick, go visit him/her. IF a child is or has been traumatized or abused, help him/her. Holidays and Easter time especially are times to bring people closer to Christ. Christ is waiting, so I know what the world wants, but Christ needs his bride. We, the church, are his bride. Men can’t really relate as well as women, but Glynn said this clearly. Pastor Glynn is amazingly awesome, and he helped me to understand the Gospel, and the whole thing was amazing. I will hopefully be baptized in the near future as a Christian, not as a Catholic. Catholic people accept only “one Baptism for the forgiveness of sins”, but it’s usually done in infancy. I will never do that to my children. I want to be Baptized in such a way that the decision is mine. That is it. Blake will never need to worry. That’s all.