After Events of the Previous or this Past Week, Whatever

Hello, readers. I got an email or two from some guy with the ID Hotel Kid 9. Sadly, those emails have some lists of accusations in them. For one, I’m being called a hypocrite. I do have a problem with bullying, but most of all, I have a problem with expired food in my fridge. My dear friend Elizabeth, a law school student at the University of Denver, was here, and she goes to my church. We’ve been best buds for, like, ever. But the guy who wrote emails like this is none other than the man responsible for the mass vandalism of my apartment. I’m not kidding. He did this, and I can’t say it was an accident. If it were an accident, he’d say, “Oh, let me pick this up.” Trust me. I watched Elizabeth in my apartment and she almost shattered a bottle of expired somethings on the floor. She, unlike the other guy, said, “Oops.” She picked it up, and it was me who said, “oooh, careful.” That “accident” was indeed attempted vandalism, and it was wrong. I’m not accusing anyone or writing names here, but the Hotel Kid who emailed me used to be a friend, and if he hadn’t thought about what my health has been like for like the last few months, maybe he would’ve asked someone, common sense tells me, to look at all the dates on the brownies and cookies he attempted to put in my fridge. While the brownies were ok, and the cookies were cool, they still had expiration dates beyond what the date had been at the time.
I do want to take a few minutes to say:
1. When going into my apartment, do not bring expired food into it. After the digestive throwing up and barfing and bad tastes I’ve had so many times over, I can’t take chances. That’s the thing.
2. When coming into my apartment, do not purposefully dump things on the floor. I don’t take chances with my floor because I’m not one to mop it. Just because I’m a graduate of CCB, that doesn’t mean you do things like this to me.
3. If you are the men I can’t see anymore, you are not simply going to have soda. You won’t have sodas as of late. You will never see me again, for one, but the other I’m going to give a chance to talk to a priest about this. He has the regrets I’m sure, but A.Y. will need to say to his priest, “I gossiped, possibly broke HIPA laws with care and stuff, had a part in vandalism, etc.” That all did occur. I’m no bully. I don’t appreciate being called names and being made fun of. I am declaring that I am no bully, and any accusations otherwise are false. I don’t bully people, so the emails I got and the removal from Facebook on top of this are obvious signs of insecurity, meanness on the guy’s part, and so on. And there’s another weird twist in the story:
Well, here’s the weirdness. Jason, one reader I wasn’t expecting to be on my side, has said some stuff, but I know him better than this. Blake and I were sitting there reading a hundred message chat. I had said it fully, texts only. Elizabeth was here, literally throwing out half my fridge because it was expired stuff. I let Elizabeth have a chocolate cherry, and I’m tempted to give other cherries to Bethany and other ladies in the church. For A. and M., those guys, well, A. has to realize that M. may have even weirder tendencies that could hurt his marriage to his dear love, one lady I know. Those tendencies are too intimate to discuss here. I cannot talk about the kinds of stuff that M. may have planned to do, things like eroding friendships, stealing others, etc. You think M.P.R. is bad, look at the other guy. Hotel Kid 9 is not only accusatory in his emails, he doesn’t need to write them. He’s absolutely weird. The weirdness is all there. Weirdness that isn’t funny or good.
IF it weren’t for this thing that panned out in my apartment, I swear it’s something I would never talk about. This whole thing is weird. Jason’s being supposedly on my side, well, it’s not true really. I don’t know if Jason realizes that he backslides, and because Blake has told me not to deal with it, I won’t. But I did tell Jason, “You’re a burning hot mess.” No kidding. He is a burning mess. I should’ve left the hot word out. Hot may mean that Jason is hot. No, he’s an ugly weird phantom in disguise as a good guy. OR he thinks he is. Well, he’s not hot. He’s just a burning hot mess. Well, a burning mess of bones and weirdness. Here is what happened after:
Blake and I had a good talk in the morning, and we put the thing we decided to do to practice. I’m not dealing with gossiping Gabby and drama again. Ever! This means anyone who has accused me of doing what have you in the past and has any inclination of bullying me or accusing me of doing so or writing one thing or another, you’re not coming back. Anyone who wants to cause drama or destroy Blake’s relationship with me? Go away. Let it go. Can’t hold it back any more. Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door. You won’t see what I really am, let the storm rage on. The cold seems to bother you anyway.

For the Gentlemen, How Men and Boys Must Act in Society, and What Must Change

In light of the recent offensive comments about Blake’s “boyish” behavior, I’d like to go ahead and say this: he’s a man. He’s more of a man for standing behind his mom. When your parent’s been with you for like seventeen years or more, has had a tragedy occur, and is empty in places, well, when the mother is empty in places I won’t say how, Blake as a man is standing by her and defending her. That is manliness. What is wrong with defending the less able, the women, the children? Isn’t that chivalrous? I like that, and I’m about to talk about what the state of our men in society truly is.
Every gentleman, from President Obama to the littlest boy in the family, should read this. This is a post dedicated to males who’ve dared to cross my line of fire, and males who think manliness is defined by macho manliness, committing acts of violence, etc. This is completely untrue.
As a fighter in the martial arts, Blake learned that respect is key. I love how he takes it seriously. How many boys and men do karate? Well, if your son or brother did karate, read this. I’m about to start defining what society viewed as manhood and relate stories of false definitions of manhood.
It begins here, in the United States, in the Colonial era. Boys were breached at a young age to “break them from the female world.” Men in ancient Greece even had some manliness definitions. Spartan boys had to act like violent warriors, and they were ultimately responsible for going in and fooling around with their women. Women in Sparta were trained to defend themselves, but they defended against violent things the men did. When a Spartan boy graduates from the lifelong boot camp he is subjected to, he must kill or have killed a helot, a slave that passes by, and to the boy’s group, seen as worthless. I’m not saying slaves aren’t worth anything, and slavery is illegal now in the thousands of years later. Anyone watched the movie 300? The definitions of manhood in that movie are completely distorted. I never watched it myself, but it was about 300 Spartan men who had sons, and the way Sparta, the famed warrior city-state, was portrayed was obviously historically accurate. When a boy is born, he is made to do things that are violent and never cry. Men are not supposed to be like this. Anyone born with blindness, birth defects, and other weird issues were left in the hills to die. Sparta was literally the first city or state or civilization to weed out imperfect children. I think that’s accurate.
Today’s Spartan definition of manhood goes beyond just weeding out those who are imperfect since we have abortive technology. Imagine if so many boys who were imperfect weren’t allowed to live because such a person wouldn’t do well in the violent world that Sparta inspires. I don’t like Spartan definitions of manhood because of all this. Men in some other civilizations are told to beat their wives, use them for what they have, etc.
Let me tell you guys, manhood is not supposed to be this way. I will uphold what is known today as a dead art, the code of Chivalry. In the Renaissance days, when knights and ladies roamed the palaces, knights became knights only if they upheld the code of Chivalry. This meant that they had to respect all living things, people, etc. This included, but was not limited to, women and children. He always had the respect in mind. Geez, if Sir john and Lady Rose wanted to get married, Sir John would have to be nice and loving toward his lady. I just used John and Rose as examples here, no real names mentioned.
Now, here’s another definition to consider. In the Oriental countries, the definition of manhood is similar. I wasn’t too pleased in my school days when I read about suicide pilots in Japan who tried to destroy U.S. targets. They used us in bayonet practices as targets. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they are bad today.
The Japanese are today are a great example of respect and the definition of manhood and respect for all living things. Shinto Buddhism promotes this, and there are some Shinto Buddhists who believe that you can’t even kill a cockroach. Well, while I think this is a bit weird as to not killing roaches that are literally overrunning your house, I do think that we should respect all the living things around us that don’t pose a danger. For instance, the big dog we saw in the neighbor’s drive. Cats have a role to play in our society, and so do some forms of insect life. Example: ladybugs eat aphids, which can destroy plant life in our gardens. In the Shinto Buddhist thought, all the living things must be respected, and nature’s way of dealing with problems is used, not poisons. I hope I said it right.
In Korea, things are a tad different. While tai kwon do is a great art and there are the very same respectful things about it as there are in karate and other martial arts, I’ve done this little bit of studying in my Intro to International Studies book, and there was a chapter in the book about Korea and its culture. Korea espouses to Confucianism, which does not really include women much. The Chinese did this in ancient times, and its rich culture lends itself to many different dynasties, and so does Korea. I’m not a fan of North Korea, of course, right, Santiago? I have to laugh because that dude is kind of funny, he kept on and on about North Korea this, North Korea that. It drove me nuts of course.
Well, I tell you what. Korean martial arts, like all others I’ve studied, have the same protocols and respect and all that as European chivalry. One must bow to instructors, superiors, and so on. I wish knights of European lore did this. What a difference that would make in those guys. They did bow to kings and such, but I don’t remember if they bowed to women superiors and such.
The United States has totally done away with a monarch, and while this is good, I do think it has its flaws. America is a breeding ground for cult life as we have banned persecution due to religion and stuff like this. Buddhists, Christians, Jews, and Muslims can all hold hands and live freely. However, the definition of manhood in the U.S. is absolutely distorted. Romance movies, the media, soap operas, etc. all cloud our view of manliness. Manly behaviors are not bullying behaviors. We are just now opening our eyes to this fact. I can’t say it enough, Mrs. Kerry Goldman wrote so many good things about manly things in her book on bullying. I would never condone my son’s bullying behaviors if I saw this happen. IF my son cried, I would tell him, “You’re not an idiot.” My son cries at a funeral? I am not going to say, “You’re worthless because you cry.” It’s ok to do this. I’ve seen grown men cry, including my ex. It was weird, but I saw this man cry because I was leaving him. Well, what happened after I won’t discuss.
Here is society’s true definition of manhood: a man must leave his mother, not interact with girls as a boy, etc. Men do not cry. Men wear manly clothes, do not wear jewelry, and if caught wearing clothes that are deemed unmanly, they are punished and will be punished by the father. Manly men do not clean their rooms, wear sweaty socks, which is evident in the smells of the first floor of a college dorm I explored. Manly men have facial hair, they beat their wives into submission, and if not beat them, they distort the true nature of love. Men do not stay with parents, blind or otherwise, for the rest of their lives. Men do not act so assertive like women, they don’t use soft words, they use hard wordage to talk to each other, their womenfolk, etc. Sadly, this definition is distorted for several reasons: every man is different. Manly things are not bullying behaviors as I said earlier. Now, here’s my definition of manly.
A manly man protects his fellow men, womenfolk, and children, and those less able to protect themselves. Manly men cry and weep with those who mourn. Jesus did this. Manly men care about their own mothers, widowed wives, etc. Manly men care about their daughters and sons, each with the same and equally weird qualities about them. Men who are truly manly are supposed to spot the danger and when they care about their wives and children, they listen when wives say, “This doesn’t look right.” A true manly man stays with his children he adopts or births through his wife, never leaves them, pays up if he does, and if he wants nothing to do with anyone in his life, he can’t say so in the meanest possible way. Real men wear pink. Real men can wear a dress, and some men may wear skirts. Kilts, for heaven’s sake. Men are not only willing to admit their weaknesses but are willing to seek help if needed. Men must admit to their problems, love their problems, and seek help immediately. For instance, my ex should have admitted that he hurts women and girls. Manly men must never under any circumstances lay a hand on a wife or a child, boy or girl. Don’t expect the boy to be a “manly” man in the distorted view. Boys cry, and so do men. Even Fergie would say this, “Big girls don’t cry.” But you wanna know the truth? Big girls do cry. Big girls and big boys must be able to cry so much if they’re feeling bad or sad. It’s a pretty weird situation when boys and men don’t cry. Studies have shown that boys and men who don’t cry so much are more prone to committing violent acts. Crying is good for your health, so if you’re feeling sad at the moment, fine. You may have a good cry.
I’m off my soapbox for now.
Beth

Formal Declaration

Declaration of Disassociation from Friends

I, Elizabeth Ann Taurasi, formally disassociate myself from the following people: A.Y., M.O. M.P.R., and all other folks who’ve caused drama. I will not do anything with these folks for the following reasons:
1. Vandalizing my apartment.
2. Co-conspiring to lie about doing so or not doing so to my apartment.
3. Disrespecting my property by soda popping my floor, walls, and other things in my kitchen.
4. Attempting to undo care services for All State Home Health.
5. Attempting to break up a relationship I’ve worked so damn hard to build.
6. Allowing the vandalized apartment to go unnoticed for a day and some hours.
7. Expecting me to invite them in, or like expired food. That’s in the case of M.O.
8. Slandering me to care companies and on blogs, Twitter, etc. This is in the case if M.P.R. She wants to make things up if I’m nice to her. Well, how do you be nice to someone who harasses a second friend about a certain Facebook chat, then attempts removing me and Blake repeatedly, treating us both like ping pong balls?
9. Tricking me and conspiring to do things and making me so scared my back hurts, my hip hurts, etc.

Because of the disassociation, these people mentioned by initials only will not:\
1. Come to my house.
2. Drink from the fridge.
3. Order food and expect me to pay.
4. Touch my floor with the soles of their shoes.

To get trust back, these people will:
1. Sit apart from me at casual gatherings,
2. Do not call me at all.
3. Do not ask me to go out with them.
4. Respect my wishes and property.
5. Apologize in a written document by email or handwritten Braille or printed letter, something readable, and it should say the following:
Dear Beth,
We, A.Y. and M.O., are sorry we conspired to dirty up your apartment and made fun of your relationship and life. We disrespected the man in your life, disrespected your property which you have waited long and hard for, could have ruined your health and welfare, etc. We will respect any punishment you throw at us. We were childish in doing the actions we did.
Sincerely,
A. and M.

Disclaimer: I wrote this because of the recent events that went down over the last two days. Phew! What an exhausting day. But what a fun day. I talked to catering companies at work, and I feel responsible, more grown up than I ever have before. I talked to Serendipity, and they were really receptive to a little education on screen reading software and stuff. When I got home, oh yeah, the fire started. My back and left hip still kind of irritate me. I was told I’d lose care services, and was blamed for taking care away from someone else. Wrong. I was also told I treated my dear friend Melaina like scum, which is no way in Heck true. I cared for Melaina, but in the most business like manner, I was trying to handle the sicko who stole my underpants. Melaina, I miss you and love you forever. You are like a sister, and I miss you terribly. Somehow, I need to have a real friend, someone who isn’t just paid to walk in my door. Because of the drama, I’ve been asked to just walk away from two friends because they’re hanging out together. Sadly, those two men, one old and one so young, trashed my floor, walls, and stove, and other parts of the kitchen. I’m filing the report, and I’m gonna see where it goes. It’s now in a file with the care company. Now, I have no friends in this building.
I have no good friends that aren’t paid to be friends. Jennifer, my therapist, is a cool lady, but I’m really going to stress my butt off because Jennifer doesn’t seem to get the point that I could lose everything. Maybe I deserve to lose it all: my place to live, my freedom, Blake, food, water, shelter. Maybe I was not meant to have all this stuff, but being content with nothing at all is not good for the community. I think more on a collective level here, and if I am the sorry, pitiful blind person who is collecting money in a tin cup, I’m screwed. No blind man or woman should have to collect money in a tin cup. I refuse to do this, and I won’t. I want a real job, like what I did with the catering companies, and I”m frozen in time now. Maybe I oughta put some things away and say the words of an Amy Grant song:
“True love is frozen in time,
I’ll be your champion and you will be mine,
I will remember you.”
Those lines are so wonderful, and I’m not writing them down for any particular reason, I just think about those words, and it makes me think of times when I heard the song.
I’m a lonely little loser right now, but the only light at the end of the tunnel is my work. I enjoy my work, I feel so responsible and in command of what I’m doing. Like, ok, my boss is cool. He’s blind too, so he understands, but again, I would say he’s wonderful. Well, he doesn’t have the very same makeup I do, but then again, nobody does.
My boss had me look up catering companies, and I really enjoyed talking to those ladies at Biscuits and the Serendipity company. Should I go Three Tomatoes? Well, I don’t know. I would love to book and order stuff and do secretarial work in my own office. That’s the cool thing about my job, no sitting up front in a desk chair area where the public has to view my weirdness. Ugh.
It’s not that the last job I had was bad, but I just feel more relaxed when I’m in control, when nobody’s throwing orders at me all over the place. “Beth, do this.” “Beth, do that.” That’s only in the job setting. Honestly, I’m going to probably do that kind of work. I wouldn’t mind sharing the office with one other person, and if my office mate happens to be a good friend, great.
But here above is a formal declaration of disassociation from two people who have caused a huge amount of stress and drama in my life, and because of this, I have to cut it all out. I don’t know if A.Y. feels bad about what he was doing with M.O., but he better. He should have “the guilties” as Dr. Scott Peck wrote in a book once about evil deeds. The soda pop thing is just the beginning of what people might do to make my life here in Denver Hell. But Honesty is my best policy.
Thank you all, and goodnight from Denver.
Beth

Letter to Another Lost Friend, Or So I Thought Was A Friend

Dear Ms. Sayegh,
As a person, I feel lost and degraded by your comments about my disabilities. It is one thing when a sighted and able and mentally “stable” person says I must have guardianship, and it is quite the same if a judge said this. However, when a blind woman like yourself, prone to the unmarriageability that most of these women are prone to, says the same thing, it is so degrading I just about fell apart. Mary, do you need not see the look on my face? Do you not want to see the tears that cascaded down my face as I write this and before then when Art walked into my apartment building? He walks into my room, only to see me asleep almost. I was exhausted after a rather productive and interesting day at work. Bill, my boss, was out. He went to the field to do various stuff, and I was in with another lady in the office. The business I do work internship for is great, and the way you said that I’m lucky because a blind man is my boss was terribly degrading. For your information, Bill is a good guy, does his stuff, really wants me to change some stuff about me, but he is not going to trash me like, “You need a guardianship. Stop messing with your bottle of pills.” Bill has the good sense to tell it like it is, and he was obviously ok with some of my misses due to illness. Apart from sickness that could have resulted in bad vomiting and so forth and a laundry mishap that All State Home Health is responsible for, I’m floored by your inability to understand and have empathy for people in my position. Blake had to literally educate people on why this all took place. Because of your nasty comments, Mary Sayegh, I literally fell apart. I cried to Art, and this is after having left a message on his phone, his home phone that is, and Art nearly had to call 911. Why? Because he thought I’d overdosed on meds. For everybody’s information, I NEVER OD on medications I have taken for the last ten long years of my life. For your info, Mary, what you did was wrong, and you must pay dearly for this. That means, I am afraid, you owe both me and Blake apologies beyond belief. Not only in words, but in clear and present actions. Actions are required to show that you are a genuine and empathetic person. Empathy is important, and though I was abused emotionally and somewhat physically at a young age, I did not use this as an excuse to not feel empathy for others. I do not use my blindness as an excuse to prey on individuals or make up rumors about Blake’s mom. Kathy is wonderful as a mother, but it is almost her time to put some of her mothering skills to rest. Well, she’s put a lot of them to rest, and those include wiping buttocks, changing diapers, holding babies, etc. Maybe she’ll hold her grand babies, but we don’t know just yet, Blake and I. If you had it your way, however, I would be a single and locked up individual who is bathed much like M.P.R. I would be tossed away in the Devil’s palace which burns daily. I would not be allowed to see Blake because my parents don’t like the idea of their “poor little” daughter getting married. Mary, what you did was a stupid thing. You made many stupid choices while we were friends, I mean WERE friends. You made up lies about Kathy, who is doing her darndest to keep Blake and myself alive. There’s a line from the Phantom of the Opera that might add up to what is going on inside you: it’s in your soul that the true distortion lies. Hard to admit, but you have a distorted personality that needs help and guidance through the rough times you’ve put yourself and others through. I bounced back, but there’s still a fog in my brain right now. Why did you say the things you said? Why didn’t you just look inside, see the beautiful person I truly am, and look inside yourself and say, “Well, why don’t I have as many accolades, blessings, and so on as Beth does?” MS. Sayegh, I have a bone to pick with anyone who would dare question me about my ability to do things. The dishes are a minor issue compared to the degrading … dare I write this … shit that you said about my disability or conditions I suffer on a daily basis. Do you not realize that my parents don’t get it? Yours don’t, but unlike yours, my parents don’t deserve to see their daughter because of the way they handled Jason Lawrence and Orien Henry. I will almost never forgive them, but all I can do is stay at a distance and pray. Blake thought you were friends with him, but because he is with me, you see him as a cursed man by association with me. Mary, that is not fair. Blake is a good man with many good qualities, and the way you treated me with Matt there, and FaceTiming him while he was spending time with … oh yeah, for your information, MY FRIEND, ART YOCHIM! You butted in to Matt and Art’s man time, if you know what I mean. Men must stay men, and be men if that’s what they so choose. I have nothing against transgendered people, but if you choose to be a man, you have to at least hang out with fellow men every so often. Blake does, for some times, hang out with Joe, his stepdad. Kathy has been his lifeline, so he has been hers. What you said about Blake and Kathy was absolutely abominable, and because of this, Mary, here’s your punishment. Take it. This is what you must do:\
1. Write a letter of apology to both me and Blake. IF you come across this, you will find that I am not giving out emails in this post because you’re going to call and ask me about those. You will both call me and Blake and email us as well. You need to show empathy and genuine care and compassion for both of us.
2. You will come to my place and clean dishes for a month. IF I had it my way, at least. You will have to clean the floor properly, do the dishes, and the rest can be left up to the care people at all State Home Health since the mail and laundry machines are both visual in nature.
3. You must write Kathy a printed or emailed letter of apology whether she knows you or not. In this letter, you will confess to Kathy you said the bad things you said about her. I forgot exactly what wordage you used, but in Kathy’s note, please apologize to her and say you won’t do it again.
4. To ensure you do not do this again, you will sit in the back of the church during me and Blake’s wedding, and you will hear the vows that I write for Blake. You will see how much we care about and love each other even in the face of the adversity that you yourself created for us. Since you made such an evil choice for yourself and others, I also ask that you seek counseling and group therapy. I will be talking to Richele, and she won’t be happy with what you did. It’s bad enough when anyone degrades the disabled, but a disabled and destitute person doing it to another equally destitute and disabled person who ought to be in the almshouse is so disgusting it hurts. I’ll say this, if you don’t follow these instructions, Mary, you will regret it. This is not a threat, this is a promise. I promise I will never speak to anyone in cahoots with you and Mr. Orts, the man responsible for the FaceTime call and lying about it.
The aftermath of this incident goes like this: Art literally walks in and sees me like this, has to literally comfort me, which doesn’t take long to do considering Blake was there, whether in the online sphere or not. IF Blake had been with me, though, Mary, I’m sorry, you would have been yelled at. Not necessarily butt kicked, but you would have been confronted. I’ve never been so mad at someone in my whole life until M.P.R. trashed me in her stupid blog and then you run along with this crap about me. Then, you have that Cat lady who doesn’t even want to talk to me and has a weird personality and doesn’t think before she acts. Gillman Gal and M.P.R. and yourself are all examples of people who just plain don’t care for or even like and appreciate who I truly am. I can’t waste my time with any of this, but the words are hard to get rid of. Thanks to you, Mary, I may have to switch medications and go up on one or another. I could’ve been emergency called, and here I was with Art, and he thought I OD dosed on my medications. For one, I never would OD on anything. Overdosing is not good, and I am intelligent enough to not do things like this. Am I stupid? Mary, I would not want someone like the Gillman Gal or M.P.R. bothering me, and here you were, the girl I met in person. Why has this woman left me?
I have a few questions that are ultimately bothering me: why are you evil? Why are you acting as evil when you truly are a good woman? Mary, where was the lady I was so hospitable to? I went with whatever you wanted, and we ordered out. Every time we ordered out, it was great. What happened to the conversations we had? I’d like to watch August Osage County, but find it hard to get started on it. You introduced me to that funny scene, and here you were, sitting in my house. God, I think I’m falling apart once again thinking about the same young woman who said, “I love the D Backs (diamondbacks. Arizona Diamondbacks that is.)” Blake really caught on. This was the same person I thought would never leave. Mary, how dare you think this is funny I’m writing you this letter. How dare you think it funny to watch me fall while you hourself have the same distortions that Christine Daie sings of in the Phantom of the Opera. The Phantom himself has a distorted face, and yet Christine says, well, that he doesn’t. That he has an ugly personality, and he finally sees it and crushes the mirrors while she runs back to her handsome young love, Raoul. Can’t you see this scene as a teaching moment for yourself?
I better stop writing before I fall further down the pits of despair, and count my blessings. To Blake, I will never leave you. Defend your dear mother, and don’t let anything stand in our way. To Kathy, I hope you will see the reason why Blake and I must and will have our independence. I am counting on you to defend me, not throw me out like a lamb for the slaughter. I appreciate your greeting and acknowledgement of my existence, but we must get to know one another more. I thank all my readers for all the love and support you’ve given me so far.
With love,
Beth

Follow Up to the Absolute Slanderous Post, and the Attacks Don’t Look Good

Dear readers,
Just a short post. The girl responsible for the recent attacks has done it again: she has removed me from a message chat. Jessie, my friend in charge of the chat, decided that M.R., the girl responsible for the chat loss, will not be in a certain other chat he’s made. Of course, she keeps disobeying Jessie’s orders and saying she’ll remove me, Blake, Cindy, and others. Ana Cindy is sweet, and it was all about my friend Kee Kee. She refused to add the girl back to Kee Kee’s personal chat thing, and because of this, the girl removes me, Blake, Kee Kee, and others. Then, she adds her ex, Kee Kee’s current other half. This is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. So, in light of this, Jessie changed the rules and decided to go about having people around him in a different way. It’s a way that allows certain people to be admins, and this girl will not be an admin. You call me the unacceptable antisocial person on Social Media? Get out of town, girl. You need to realize you’re too immature to be anywhere near my friends, and my friends are all the friends you supposedly had. You think it’s cute to blow up W.T. and L.W.’s phones because you want it your way. Well, as someone who was also accused of doing so, but let’s say that I wasn’t taking my medications because I was not able to go anywhere and was ashamed of abuse, I can’t say your actions were valid either. M.P.R., leave all of us alone. Do not write about me, do not have anything to do with the Internet. I don’t care about the fact that the family is messed up, I don’t care. My family is holding my rights hostage because of blindness and they made up all kinds of excuses to do it. “Oh, she has severe emotional problems. She has Asperger’s (now known as High Functioning Autism.)” What a poor excuse to have guardianship. Well, take a look at this girl. She needs a guardian, incompetence orders, and thrown in an institution, she shall be. Yes, Master Yoda? I suppose this should happen sooner rather than later. Parents don’t support her being in love, well, Mr. and Mrs. R., I suppose you’re doing the right thing. Your daughter is a Queen Bee, a bully, and doing bad things to get her way. She seeks evil counsel to do evil things. I will not do evil things or seek evil wisdom. Evil is the only way I can describe your daughter. Sadly, you’ll have to beat the evil out of her, do an exorcism, etc. Do something to get her to bathe, dress, and so on. I have the capabilities of doing so much more than that poor little devil, and after she removed me, Ana Cindy, Kee Kee, and others from Jessie’s group, and trust me, it’s Jessie’s, not hers, she will have to be put in another place where no one known to her lives. One of her exes or maybe another one, that makes two, are dating my friends. Kee Kee is not going to put you back in chats, little one. So don’t even think about messing around.
Ok, it wasn’t so short, but I think after what the girl did, M.P.R. that is, we’re going to have to take further action against her. Mr. and Mrs. R., you need an alternate translator if you wish to call and discuss the fate of your daughter. All the abuses she commits against others on the Internet, including in private message chats, are unacceptable. I don’t remove people from Jessie’s chats, and if Jessie says he wants me and Blake in chats, he wants us in chats. There are limits to what will be done, but limits on your daughter’s use of the Internet you refuse to do. Get her off the Internet, Mr. and Mrs. R., and do something about the abusive behaviors. Send her to counseling, send her to an institution if this isn’t working. Don’t send her to CCB. What makes you think Colorado is heaven for the Devil’s daughters? Not for bullies and queen bees, I’m afraid.
Her senseless messages and repeated use of #ReedOnAir hashtags are driving Jessie nuts. Your daughter does not know how to use Twitter in a safe manner, so therefore, she should be off. Make sure she doesn’t say a word to me, or to my friends, and if she even wants to be in Jessie’s chats, she must not remove me, Blake, Ana Cindy, and others. I’m sorry, but this girl, your own daughter, as hard as it is to hear it as a parent, needs mental help. I’m done on my soapbox.
Thanks.
Beth

Ten Reasons Why Jasons Are Bad … Not All

Here are ten reasons that me and Jennifer came up with that Jason … not all Jasons, but one Jason in particular is bad news:
1. This is at the top of the list: he made nasty sexual comments about me. I’ve had it with guys making nasty sexual comments about women. First off, women need a lot more respect than Jason gives them. Women have the sacred job of getting pregnant and having the baby, but what do men do? They move on to another lady and then, … yeah, that’s what I mean. Not all men do this, but so many men decide to do this, and Jason might have been one.
2. Racism: Jason has expressed a lot of racist opinions of black people, especially black women. When he’s talking to a black girl on the phone, he is apparently being told by outside family that she’s black, therefore diseased, therefore he goes along with it. What about Natives? Jason has no clue I’m dating a part Native, and he must not read this blog because I am dating a part Native. And guess what? There is nothing stereotypical about Blake at all. I’m serious. HE doesn’t wear weird feathers, go out and rain dance, worship weird spirits, etc. That is not the Native way, or at least what Americans would deem the “Indian” way. I hate the word “Indian” to describe Cherokees and other tribes because Indian was a Columbian term that defined the natives of the new world as coming from an India that Columbus imagined. And Columbus? He was an ass hole. Sorry, people who are descendants from him. HE sailed the ocean in 1492 only to find the wrong place, so Indian is the wrong word to use for the people who inhabited even the Caribbean.
3. Confederate Loyalty: Jason is unpatriotic and expresses Confederate loyalties. His whole family is like this, but Jason’s loyalties are too old, and this is where the sexist and racist things come from. This period we live in is way after Reconstruction, and blacks and women are not put in a place where whites don’t see or hear from them.
4. Abuse: Jason has committed multiple acts of abuse against those he hates, particularly women and girls. HE could have easily done this to Amber, his own sister, but what can happen versus what did happen are two different things. Amber, Jason’s dear sister, has a lot more respect and yes, she has a sacred job in life, a sacred part to play in the cycle of life that Jason will never do.
5. Untreated Social Problems: HE has never really learned to make friends or was never treated for lack of social empathy.
6. He wants power and control. Jason always wanted power and control from both me and Jennifer, and this is why I’m writing this post. Girls, beware. This guy? Well, He wants power and control like no other. This is a particularly dangerous characteristic that sexual predators have.
7. Overuse of alcohol and other drugs is prominent in his family. His own birthmother drank so excessively that Jason was born with fetal alcohol syndrome, the culprit behind the sexist, racist, and otherwise bad things he has done.
8. He might end up having deviant sexual attitudes and desires. It wouldn’t surprise me if he wanted a little voice moaning on his computer. Or a big voice moaning on his computer might satisfy him. He has been known to get interested in what we blind people call “audio porn.” Ugh.
9. He has a terrible self esteem.
9A. HE is hijacking Jennifer’s memory files of herself and him doing various things, and saying, “If you don’t get back with me, I won’t let you have the files.” HE will isolate her from family and friends if this happens, so I warn you girls out there, be careful.
10. He could make seriously bad decisions while in relationships to isolate said girl from family and friends. HE will do this even to black women, white women, and so on. He wants a girl that is not of color to date him, referring back to the racism he exhibits on a daily basis.
There you have it. Ten reasons why both me and Jennifer are refusing to speak with a Jason, especially the big bad one we’ve been so familiar with. Jason, if you’re reading this blog, close your browser and get off the computer and do something productive with your life. Stop thinking about discrimination and think about the whole nation. Change your brain and go to counseling, please don’t talk to girls again, and go to a group therapy session and see if all these traits fits you.
So if they do, then great. Continue going to group. If they don’t, too bad. They do.

The Love Life Problem

Ok, Readers, this is how I’d like to address a disabled person’s ability to maintain relationships. My family, weird though they think they are, has given me the cold shoulder with regards to that sort of thing.
It all started with Jason, or even further back, when my family mocked and excluded me for liking the Backstreet Boys. What sort of family does this, you ask. Well, apparently, because of blindness, my poor family has been burdened with a blind daughter, which to them, is bad news. I’m sorry, but just because a girl likes a certain pop group or whatever does not give a family the right to throw the person off kilter. That’s exactly what my family did. And it got further, what with Jason and all that. Jason Yocom and Lawrence did not help matters. My family literally threatened me when I got to liking Orien Henry. Sadly, Orien’s social media sites, except Skype, are gone. Orien is out of touch with reality with some things. He can’t seem to understand that blind women are statistically undesirable for a love relationship, and though we may be blind, us blind women can and will have kids, have jobs, and own property. Orien was unable to do this on account of my parents, his mom, etc. There are too many regrets with Orien, and because of this, I had to move out of state.
Not just this, but the university treated me like a kid, expecting parents to know all and everything. The blindness service agency I worked with in Tallahassee did not provide adequate services, and even if they did, it meant missing things. Missing social life was a big minus in college. I tried to go out there, tried to understand the world around me, but alas, FSU had no openings and the college campus was inaccessible. It turned its ugly head on two friends of mine, who ended up suing the college. They sued the college and won, and that meant compensatory funds because the required classes were inaccessible. Math is a big no no for Blake, and if he was required to do so, it just made him scared. So the same applied for my friends Jamie and Chris, who both sued the college due to PRS transmitter use and inaccessible math course programs. FSU should be ashamed of itself, football or otherwise, because even with a good team, they got punished for stealing crab legs. Well, the qb did. Plus the Oregon Ducks beat them in the last playoff game they played. Sadly, I won’t be rooting too much for FSU in academic standards. They do not have high expectations, whether for blind people especially or sighted people. But their precious football players? Well, it’s like that with all colleges.
Sadly, in the love department, college students with disabilities, especially women, experience a whole different side of life. They experience sexual assault more often than others. I, for one, was blessed with the freedom from sexual assault in strange ways. Guys at FSU really didn’t care. I was afraid, so tried to date several. But all the guys in my class department, except for one or two that weren’t interested or were gay, had a girlfriend or a wife. I was kissed by a history major, then moved on to several guys who weren’t even college students. Sadly, I had no prospects for dating beyond Phillip, this guy I had met before. Colorado was not only the answer to my independent thought and mind issues, but the independence physically I needed for my life to continue. My family claims they won’t take away my life, but the nasty comments they made about my Blake prove that they can’t handle the truth. Their daughter is not their daughter anymore. I declare that I won’t be around them much, and do not wish to go to Florida, especially this June. A flight will be booked, and not to Florida, but to Arizona. I will be with someone I truly love and care about. And the neuropsychological testing has to get done before March or the end of March so that Rehab and trial work can progress. I keep telling them this, but they will not listen. Further proof that nobody listens to blind women in this country or anywhere else in the world. Even if I told Google Incorporated that they must, if anything for fear they will lose business, make all products accessible with all screen reading software, they wouldn’t listen because I’m not the expert in their opinion. It is not fair that nobody will listen to a blind lady. Well, in that case, I think that a blind person should be in charge of this country because sighted folks like Hillary Clinton don’t know what it’s like to live on Social security benefits and how little they are. Banning the marriage penalty would be my first priority. The GOP doesn’t care, but they’re just gonna have to give up their agendas of putting us away in group homes. If a GOP person ran against me, I’d attack the party’s agenda for putting disabled women in special places. And yes, I wish we had better statistics for disabled women in marriages that last in this country than others, but most other countries put them in places they will be raped. They put the disabled woman in a place where a care worker will rape and ultimately use her body for his own purposes. They will be beaten and starved because they’re a disabled woman. As a disabled woman myself, Hillary won’t understand. I will never be able to speak with Hillary Clinton myself, and she scares me. If I could, here’s a wish list I’d put before her:
1. Make it better for disabled couples to marry. Ban the marriage penalty by executive order so that disabled couples don’t have to go with the runaround of going to the Social Security Office and saying, “I’m getting married.” Then, “You’ll have 1100 bucks combined income.” “That’s not enough.” Since when did Congress approve of this?
2. Disabled couples should be rewarded for marrying and having children. Considering we have a low marriage and fertility rate among us, we need incentives for the babies and marriages among disabled women to disabled or nondisabled men. They should marry any adult of their choice, for this matter, so lesbians with disabilities should be allowed to marry who they wish to marry anyhow. Anyhow, maybe a boost in finances should come to those who are pregnant, married, and disabled. Single motherhood should not be a crime, though. We need to support single mothers to be who were raped and disabled as well.
3. Financial incentives should be given to young immigrants and immigrant families who believe daughters are not educable. The financial bonuses should total all the years a daughter is in school, and for those same families, we should have a choice program for disabled daughters too. Some immigrants don’t want disabled daughters to marry, but that should be left up to them, not the family. This is a huge problem, and I think it could go UN if you know what I mean.
4. Disabled men and women should be given more money for the offspring throughout their lives. The offspring of disabled parentage should be allowed to have more money than even the black families. Why? Because we historically have been at the dregs of society, not allowed to advance due to disability. The kids should be allowed to go to schools of THEIR or their family’s choice, mainly the disabled parents. The parents may see a child with talent, but because money is short, musical training is left out of the curriculum. I would never want this for my child, even if Blake and I made a combined income of less than a thousand or more. It’s not fair to any of us, and if a President Hillary Clinton doesn’t do anything, I will ask that the U.S. government stop meeting and shut down until they do what the disabled families want them to do. We elect these officials, so why aren’t they listening when Art, my dear blind friend, says, “I want more money. It’s not fair that disabled couples don’t get enough.” Why won’t they listen? Because they think they’re the experts, well, really. They aren’t. Dear Washington representatives, please hear my cry. As a disabled woman who may or may not be employed, please understand that Blake and I have every right to be married and have a child or two. We want to see more disabled people adopt or birth children with financial incentives, which has a lot to gain. Please understand and enact laws that will help, not harm, disabled couples who are both disabled. A combined income of $1100 is not enough, says Art. I am demanding that this amount go up with children, and all the children do not need to be charity cases. Please do what we say, Congress, or we will ask you to shut down for a week, except for what we need. That includes Bard, NIH, and so on. The essentials and blind ready government services will be open in this sort of shutdown I propose. But we as disabled individuals have had enough of the marriage penalty. Get rid of it, or we will have to protest and do what we can with out violence. I wouldn’t dare touch the buildings of Washington with violence, but if the Congress is not acting appropriately toward us with disabilities, and electing people aren’t voting us into office, then we will need to force a shutdown, a debate, or executive order to end marriage penalties. Perhaps Kathleen McMorris Rogers knows what to do. She has a Down’s Syndrome son, and she will probably do what is necessary for us, and with her son’s help, unlock the mysteries of disabled life.
I don’t think assassinating the president is a good idea, especially in these times. However, I demand, Mr. Obama and Congress, an end to Marriage penalties immediately. It is not funny. We disabled individuals have a right to marry and have children with the same income as sighted and able bodied peers. IF not, then you, the Congress, and so on do not deserve office. Do I need to go to jail for writing this? No. Why? Because this is America, and I have a right to my opinions.
Thank you for reading this. And I do think the title should be something different, but a love life crisis for disabled couples really does exist. Women are undesired, men are pampered. Sons being more desirable should not be the case.
Beth