Summary of the Jon Taffer Podcast Backstreet’s Back

Dear readers,

I just about cried listening to a really great interview with Jon Taffer in Vegas featuring none other than Nick Carter, a Backstreet Boy I’ve had a crush on for a few damn years. As a teenager no less. Let me telll you, I’m super proud of Nick for having done what he does now, for having a family, and that’s because I found my own place and my own partner. The thing is he has three kids, three of them just like my own family had. I would hope that his family doesn’t grow too big, after all kids cost money. Everything costs money, and it really hit me hard when I heard Nick say things about how he had lived with fame all his life. Like, since he was twelve, he had fame on his shoulders. He wants to own a bar in Key West, but truth be told, I wish he’d try stopping by here in Denver and try some of the holes in the wall we have for Mexican food. I love Mexican food, and I wish he did too. I don’t know if Nick Carter likes Mexican food, nor do I know if any of the kids like it too. I’d be glad to bring Trenton to a hole in the wall in vegas, but what good is that when we can’t fly there or do things? Vegas already has a mask mandate in place now, in six counties, twelve maybe. I just saw something about Nevada’s emergency mask ordinance. What ever I say doesn’t seem to matter.

I have a message for Nick, and I sent it on Twitter. It was short and sweet, but still I think Nick’s a great guy. I’d still meet the guy on the condition that his wife is okay with this, and that she and Trenton are there for the presence between all of us. I hope that the Mrs. Nick Carter finds herself lucky to be with him in the long run, after all there are too many celebs who get divorced, and that’s bad luck on their part. It’s a heavy load that fame puts on us, and that’s the truth. In any case, I hope Nick and his Missus do not do this sort of thing, particularly because the kids need a stable family home. I would also like to point out that I was the victim of emotional abuse for years, and now I don’t have a career aspiration because of benefits, benefits, and more benefits that the disability gravy train pretty much requires you to make below a certain amount in order to qualify to stay alive. I am trying to taper off my meds, as I am writing this I was mailed 7 mg of my medication, and I am very concerned that it could lead to Trenton not supporting me, friends running away because they feel I’m crazy, and no opportunities to have better care. I would try getting a workaday job, but again, Trenton would lose out or I would lose benefits, and the house would be filthy. I don’t particularly like cooking and cleaning because women have been forced to do that for thousands of years, and I’m reading this women’s history book. It shows how the Father God complex put women below a man. That doesn’t fly with me because this Father God complex could hurt those who worship the Goddess, something I totally believe in. I want to believe there is a way to compromise but my family would never understand. I would hope they don’t read this because they don’t get it. I am not inferior to men, and I certainly don’t think cooking and cleaning is my destiny. I’m not an unpaid maid or servant, and thanks to the discharge of the guardianship, I’m happily on my way to recovering the pieces of my life taken away by guardianship Marriage and children are the two things I want to do, but providing for the kids like what Nick carter does is going to be something hard and tough because nobody will hire a 40 something woman who has no resume and no job skills to do entertainment. I had all my accomplishments in high school, but was never allowed to pursue entertainment as a career. Nick, I am proud of your interview, and Jon is a cool dude. Keep at it, because one day, there will be a Denver Queen on stage, and you won’t know who I am, you won’t know what I’ve done. It won’t be the classical pianist or the teenage Catholic who was doomed to fail at everything. This time, I will bee the new me, transformed by freedom. Thanks for your interview.

Readers, I’d like to think that I could put comments back on this blog. However, because trolls are trolls and they lurk at every corner, I will remain the way I am with comments. Please feel free to like this entry, and email me at denverqueen@gmx.com for more good conversation. Please, I swear to God, my life depends on it.

Beth

Before you travel to Euroope, read this important and timely book.

Dear readers,

So you want to go to the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France, or you want to order a beer at an actual German beer cafe or something, or perhaps you want to visit museums in Italy or the UK. You make your travel reservations, and then when you fly into Amsterdam, you want to see all the wonders that the Dutch bring to our world, but then … oh no. Some guy just cornered you and is staring at you because he wants sex. Is that what you want your European vacation to include?

If you are wondering why I wrote this, read Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s new book, entitled Prey and find out more about Europe’s problems with Muslim majority countries, and moreover its problems regarding women and females of all types being groped, stared at, intimidated. The book has a big trigger warning, so bear that in mind. However, Hirsi Ali does it again. She’s a women’s rights advocate and though she may not be a lawyer of sorts, Ayaan’s book reads like a big giant sociology project on Europe. Here’s some of the summary details of what she says in this new book. I know some of you will cringe thinking about this, but these are important details.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali takes two years out of the more recent, and gobbles up lots of news reports from those years, 2015-2016. In this book, she summarizes many attacks on women by asylum seeker men from different countries. I know where she’s going. But to summarize, she also says that immigration done right is the answer. She points out a lot is wrong with European justice systems, and because of the men in her attack profiles, most of them from Africa and the Middle East, attacking European women and getting away with practically anything, she says liberal feminists aren’t being taken seriously. We know that in prior books, Hirsi Ali summarized the security she’d been living with for lengths of time. Ayaan’s bodyguard of whatever is necessary because she gets death threats. I personally would never touch her with a ten foot pole, but I would want to meet this woman. I practically idolize her stuff, and I’ve dealt with the same sorts of things she has in regards to men. Not all men would leer at me, but some do. Some think I have a nice butt, but I have to use a bit of humor to throw it back in their faces. That doesn’t always sit well with some. Now, what would Ayaan Hirsi Ali want us to do in Europe if we’re women? Well, here’s the deal.

First, don’t walk out in the nude. These guys really think that if you walk out there naked, you’re asking for it. However, if you do want to walk out in the nude, carry mace or sprays with you. I would carry mace even here in the States because there are just some guys who won’t leave you alone if you are in their presence.

I’d require all girls seeking to do European trips to go in groups. A travel group would require you to do a curfew and be back at a certain time, and you would need to be carefully monitored as to where you are. Traveling alone is not advisable especially for females at this time. But then again, you want to avoid another Natalie Holloway, and this means you don’t want to end up on everybody’s disappearing list on the newspapers, as Holloway did. She was in Aruba, having a lot of fun, but then she started drinking. This leads to my next thing.

I’d drink responsibly in Germany. Or Ireland, UK, or anywhere else. I’d drink only a certain amount and then go right back into soft drinks and so on. Germany is a good example of a country that doesn’t let you drink if you’re not eighteen or can’t reach the beer bar. If anything, drinking is part of the cultures in the European countries you’d likely visit, so be prepared to make sure you do drink responsibly.

For LGBTQI+ travelers, again go in a group. You might have to forego walking hand in hand in certain areas with your partner given the way people might leer at you, and it isn’t even the native born species doing it.

Make sure you check in with friends and family back home regularly. IF someone attacks your travel group, prepare to defend the group and tell the local police about it. Also, get a phrasebook of the native language so you can identify words for things like, “some guy groped me” or “Some guy wanted my money.” Don’t hesitate to try out the native language if that’s what you need to do. Example, if I’m attacked in Germany, I want to tell the local police in German that “I was attacked by a guy wearing a green skull cap and I took his shirt off. He sounded like some dude from Morocco.” IF you are fluent in German, that’s all well and good. However, if some guy is attacking someone who doesn’t know the native language of the country, just try your best to describe your attack in English, of course. Most European schoolchildren today are learning English, but don’t take this for granted. You want to tell the police that your attacker was this guy who looked a certain way and wore such and such. Same thing you would do in America.

Do not let anyone walk you home. As weird as it sounds, it’s essential that only group members walk each other home.

Make sure your stuff is accounted for before and after your trip. Make sure you have all your papers in order, and if you’ve been attacked, be sure you take care of this situation with a group member partnered with you before you fly home.

As much as I’d like to say someone should walk a girl home, it’s not possible anymore. Knowing the language would make you less of a target to enemies and strangers. Example, if you visit Norway, know your Norwegian like the back of your head. There are two dialects within the language, so learn them both. Get your Norwegian in gear so you can communicate with a Norwegian policeman or woman or whoever if you get assaulted. This way, you can describe the crime that was committed against you. It would also help to learn a bit of Arabic, or even Berber, or some other languages so that if you can figure out what the attacker is doing, you can yell at him in his own tongue. That might scare the crap out of him, and knowing what to say when will get you far on the road to a successful trip to Europe. Now you can move on and look at wines and beautiful paintings and stare at stuff at all times and not worry as much.

Beth

The NFB and voter suppression

Dear readers,

While most of the NFB resolutions are about tech toys, what usual stuff, and NLS and other provisions, I think voter suppression should be discussed. The NFB got it right this time. While the NFB surely didn’t impose its will on Facebook and other websites, it must do something about voter suppression. Suppressing votes in the name of Gilead must stop. Here’s why.

When you go to vote, there’s something you have to remember. Votingn is a private and sacred part of Democracy. Georgia and Florida suppressed that right to black individuals and not surprisingly, to blind ones too. They made it cumbersome and impossible because they don’t like us, don’t want us, and want to hold on to the status quo. So what to do in this case.

Follow the legal ball. Put lawsuits in as many courts as possible. There is no structured negotiation with voter suppression. You must sue. Suing is not something you want to do openly, but suing is the only way to tell people that this is a big mistake. We also need to remove Trump appointees to the bench, somehow and someway and put ethics investigations on them. We need to dig through Amy Coney Barrett’s garbage, for example, and find essays that she wrote favoring Catholics over UU’s for example. I’d get the National Enquirer to do that. Tabloids are one good way to manipulate the public ire against people like Brent Cavanaugh. That guy got in even though someone said he made her look bad and at her expense, had fun. Cavanaugh used the disabled as his saints so he could get into the supreme Court. Ethics violation? Let’s dig through the garbage.

Next, we need to replace the Trump appointees with more UU oriented and America oriented court appointees who will write logically better essays, stop quoting papers from Notre Dame, and people who will allow black lives to matter, strike down voter suppression, and make the country livable and safe for LGBTQI+ parents and adults and kids as well. These new appointees need to undo the damage that the extremists we have now are doing. We need to make sure that any new legislation doesn’t make voter suppression and misinformation a thing. So if you’re the National Enquirer or the Esquire magazine, dig through the garbage and see whwat you can find. One man’s trash is another man’s gold mine.

Next, we need a moratorium on guardianships. The NFB fails again and again and again to look at guardianship as an essential blindness issue. IF you have a guardianship, essentially you can’t do anything, including in some places vote. You can’t even have a bank account. You can’t marry the one you love, and Britney Spears has an IUD in her body which prevents pregnancy. Britney and other disabled women in guardianship are essentially treated as dogs or pet kittens to the guardians that do things for them. Britney is like Jamie’s dog rather than his daughter. I don’t say this to insult Britney, but when you forcibly put an IUD in your daughter, you’re saying, you’re my pet, not my daughter. Jamie Lyn, Britney’s sister, needs to be clear with her dad that Britney is a person and will be treated as such.I was treated more or less like a pet dog. And rather than a daughter, I was treated more or less also like a piece of property. My parents took control of my life because they were abusive. They did not and still will not define the action they did as abusive.

The government should also be doing the good work of giving disabled nonworking people more asset. $750 is not a lot to live on and not enough. Neither is $794 or $804. We need an update to the SSI and SSDI program. Luckily, old Joe just fired a Trump holdout in the SSA. Hopefully, he will put some new rules for SSI recipients here, and I will get more, keep more, and marry legally. Since its 1978 or so inception, the SSI program has had no change like this. Marriage penalizing has been present because of ableist thoughts and social exclusion. It’s time for all that to go.

Now I am working with a massive ear infection that is clogging and clogging and clogging up my right ear with wax and wax and more wax. Okay, I’l take that, but it’s too much for me. I’m sitting up right now.

Beth

Britney’s Freedom is My Freedom

Dear Britney spears,

I feel so much for you it isn’t funny. When you revealed you had an IUD put in to prevent you from getting pregnant, I almost died inside. While my birth control pills are a choice, there is a problematic thing about doing IUD or Nexplanon, and this is what it boils down to. Putting things in your body that are implanted is rather invasive, and an IUD can break and you could die. I’m scared for you because of Amy winehouse, the gal behind Rehab, and I love that song. truth is that she committed suicide by alcohol because her stupid father had a conservatorship similar in scope to your own. Britney, I hope you will hear me out.

I was seventeen when my parents declared me unfit to manage my own affairs, got guardianship, and put me away when I tried to have relationships. There’s a girl in Orlando going through the same thing. guardianship and conservatorship is sexist, ableist, and so much bullshit I know what you want when I hear you say it’s abusive. It is, believe me, you don’t want to know what my parents think of me now that I forced them to discharge the guardianship. I had threatened in emails to have them in a restraining order so they couldn’t contact me because guardianships like theirs are cruel and unusual, and the ones who think guardianship is good for. me are usually stupid evil white men. I received a rather trolling comment, hence why you don’t see a comment field in this blog, from a Wes Derby who ultimately said, “Florida was correct in giving your parents guardianship.” I felt so insulted I had to black out all comments, and it wasn’t just Wes’s, it was everybody. He ruined the comment thing for everybody. And it’s not that I don’t want you to comment, Britney, but you can always email me and we can talk. Britney, I know you have a fortune you can’t access, but you have me. I’m against all forms of adult guardianship for all people, and it’s because the system is set up to benefit the bad guys, the parents and professionals, the people who think it’s rather funny when I don’t succeed in life itself. Britney, you have a lot of blessings amid this. You have your sons, you have a fortune worth millions of dollars I’ll never obtain. And because I was called a moron by so many people, I had to shut down the comment discussion here on this blog. If you really want to, write me on FB or Twitter. I’m on Instagram, but I don’t usually put pics up. Britney, you don’t have to worry about suing your family for violating your civil rights. I do. Because I want to have a little Beth or a little Trenton and I will not have any other kids. Siblings will force me to favor one child or another child, so I will not have siblings. My own siblings were favored, my brother that is. And they made very rude comments about me when I was in mental health rehab. I had no drugs, no substance use history, so you know what? There should have been no damn excuse for parents like my own to have a sexist ableist cruel and unusual hold on my whole damn life. They should have let go, and they didn’t for fifteen years. They are ableist, cruel and racist. When. I mention critical race theory, my dad says, oh it won’t affect you. Wrong, it will affect his granddaughter or grandson. I will of course have to keep an eye on my parents, we will have to reconcile somehow, but I can’t do a full reconciliation because that would put my kid in danger. IF it is a female child, I will have to carefully pick who she hangs out with while she’s between one and six, but beyond age six, she needs to have a moral compass. Britney, I will parent my own child better than my mom did. I will not leave her unattended, in a cradle crying, or in a dark room because she did something or other. Britney, I will not let my child be traumatized in the first six years of her life, for those years are the foundation on which she will grow. For another thing, I will teach my kid to be respectful around law enforcement, maybe even connect with law enforcement so they will know my family. My future child will likely be biracial, which means critical race theory does indeed affect her. IF she doesn’t learn about slavery and discrimination and sexism, she will be ignorant and unable to decipher how to make the world a better place.

Let’s just say that the way things are, blind people will not show up at a baby shower for me. So britney, let me promise you this. IF you have a third kid, do send me an invite to your baby shower. We could do a virtual one, and I could buy you something nice, maybe I’d buy you a cradle for that baby. But moreover, I’ll sing you one of those lullabies you forgot over the years. Hush-a-by baby, don’t say a word. Remember that one? the one where you say you’ll buy that kid a mockingbird? I’ll definitely have that in my repertoire. then there’s Bye Baby Bunting, daddy’s gone a-hunting. Just anything you could think of, lullabies are everywhere and you must sing them to that little boy or girl when it arrives. Why? Because babies love it. Yeah, and when baby gets sick, you’ll at least know how to detect fevers in your baby. Doesn’t every mom touch baby’s face? Duh, and I being blind need to do a serious checkup and get me a talking ear thermometer. My partner Trenton and I are always debating what will come down and what won’t. We have to upgrade tech first, but I said to him I insist on having a baby before I turn forty. Forty!!!!!! So yeah.

Britney, I can’t wait to see the baby pics when you have a new baby with Sam, and I want you to, so get that stupid IUD out of your uterus and get going. Like what the hell are you waiting for? And you can bet your bottom dollar that when I have my own baby, I will show you a pic of her, all new and slimy or all new and smelling like roses. Haha. Babies don’t usually smell like roses anyway.

Good luck ending your conservatorship.

Beth

Loving Day: what It Means to Me

Dear readers,

Imagine you couldn’t marry the person you loved because the person you loved was a different skin color. That was the reality of the Lovings, Mildred and Richard. About yesterday, it was Loving Day, a day that celebrates something Richard and Mildred dared to do. They were each raised in a very inclusive community. Mildred was one color, Richard the other. but it didn’t matter to Mildred’s brother Otha. Otha was the one who set Mildred up with Richard, they’d been friends in school. Isn’t that how it all works? they secretly married because of a last vestige of segregation in their home state, and it was horrible. They were affected by racial purity and what they call antimiscegenation laws that prohibited interracial marriage. This couple went above the heads of the authorities, pursued justice for each other and their children, and they ultimately won the fight for all interracial couples such as myself and Trenton.

what does Loving Day have to do with me as a person? Personally, I find black people are the strongest and best examples of really resourceful people on the planet. I’m ashamed to say that white people try every day to steal the inventiveness away from black folk. Let’s say that the blacks invented a lot of things, including traffic lights, ice cream, a refrigerator, if I’m not mistaken. Black people find ways to make stuff work, but white people just sit around and say they’re smarter when all they seem to be able to do in history is plunder, stalk, and conquer, moreover kill everybody and sit there and make everybody bow down to them, and subjugate. It’s a pattern much like the Elvenbane’s elves. Thanks, Mercedes Lackey.

Why did I just write this though? Trenton is a resourceful sort, just like half the human race. Now I’m not saying all black men are the same way, but the air I get from the black men and women and others alike is that they’re highly intelligent, and no, not servile at all. I can’t stand it when someone says a black man is a servant, a black woman should work as a maid, etc etc. That makes me wanna vomit, because my mother in law is no hotel maid, she worked for years doing computer work. Now that’s brilliant. There is so much untapped talent in both the blind and black communities, but I digress.

As a woman who is ashamed to have been raised in a whitewashed piece of crap family, I don’t even want to entertain the idea of having to put on that Martha apron and cook for some evil or rather dastardly white guy. My mom would slave away at the kitchen every day, my dad would watch football. He rarely cooked, except for a goddamn single dish and it was usually either that or grilled somethings. typical simtcom family you might think, but my birthday was usually too small, life wasn’t affirmed much after the age of twenty, and even when I passed the age of 21 I did not get much, even if I did, it was too small. I never had friends except for the extreme evangelical idiots that populated Titusville, mostly white people, and here I was thinking about marrying a black man. I refuse to put on that stupid Martha apron and go to work in the kitchen, and moreover, it would dishonor all I fought for if I was popping out more than five kids. Ugh. Some evangelical christians in Titusville have this propensity to have too many kids, whether one or three or even six. The biggest family I know is a religious fundamentalist family we all know, and their eldest son Josh committed some dire crimes. He’s white.

So if Loving hadn’t been handed down, I would have been lonely. Trenton is black, and a justice of the Supreme Court would have made hateful statements about blacks, but that wasn’t the case. Honestly, I love Trenton to death. He has his imperfections like everybody else. In two days, we will celebrate Juneteenth, and we’ll have a drum duet, duh. Juneteenth celebrates the end of slavery, and I can tell you slavery would have affected all of us, not just blacks and whites. I’m sorry, but if anyone believes in slavery, that is the wrongest thing in the world. there are still slaves in the world, although not the american slaves, not sanctioned at least. If you take a trip through Atlanta Airport, you’l probably see slaves being shipped and transported, and you won’t even notice. Human trafficking as they now call it is so rampant in poorer communities, and we need to know what causes it. More to come.

Beth

15 years ago …

Dear readers,

It was about fifteen years ago, and May is mental health month so I’m going to be talking about mental health stuff too. It is traumatic when your family denies you basic human rights, and that’s what happened in the fall of 2004, so when I told a cop that I couldn’t live without something or someone, I was placed in the hospital. Just for that, I was later admitted to LaAmistad Behavioral Services, a place in Winter Park, and they’ve since changed, but this place had some clear frameworks for mental health habits sand care I will get into later. But it was fifteen years ago that I was discharged from LaAmistad on May 19, and since then, you gotta admit I came close once to being admitted. That was after being broken up with, and tampered with by an ex. Unfortunately, a friend in Georgia who I no longer speak to thinks I don’t live reality. What is reality/ This begs the question of what constitutes mental health?

I’ll first tell you what constitutes mental health and wellness, and then we’ll talk about the framework of mental health and care that LaAmistad set up. And then we’ll talk about thee subpar care that so many of us are subject to, and how we can fix it all.

First, someone with mental illness so severe it needs hospitalization should and must exhibit dangerous behaviors, including SIB (self injurious behavior) including cutting your body, stabbing yourself with knives and razor blades, etc. I don’t count removing scabs or mosquito bites, or even scratching at those, because insects are everywhere in Florida. And as humans, we need to be able to remove the parasites from our bodies, that includes scabies mites and bedbugs. Okay, but SIB’s are absolutely cutting and stabbing oneself, but here’s another part of the danger to oneself and others. You must have a suicide plan, and the suicide plan can be detailed or not, but if you show this plan or talk about it, someone will say you have dangerous behaviors, are a danger to yourself and others. Homicidal behavior is a big one too.

So what constitutes welllness? Psychopathy is not mental health. If you’re the type who likes to pull the ears and tail of your dog so forcefully that the dog looks at you in surprise, or if the dog howls like a maniac as you do something really bad to them, you are possibly exhibiting psychopathic behavior. Antisocial behavior can also mean starting fires, or if you’ve got a murder rap sheet, or if you think it’s okay to abuse kids and adults in a sexual manner. All these things constitute mental illness and psychopathy.

All of these behaviors or some of those behaviors put together constitute something, and you should get treatment for it. Psychopaths are not easy to treat, but here’s the other thing about that. Psychopathy is rare, it’s not like simple mental illness, complete with self injurious behaviors, not enjoying what you once loved, and threatening suicide. Let me be clear: mental wellness is not being completely free of the SIB thing, or being completely energetic. Everybody’s brain is different. Take it from me.

Also, here’s another tidbit about mental illness: 95% of us mental health patients are the victims, not the perpetrators of violent crime. Make that also the victims of theft and small crimes. When someone with mental health issues is murdered, nobody takes notice. Example: Michael Dingas was a world class runner, and he had schizophrenic symptoms by eleven or twelve, then he was almost at LaAmistad for twelve years. When I was a client there, the young man was moved to another facility, Mom was there. But there was a nice day he went out to possibly buy cigs at a convenience store, and was run over by a vehicle on the crossing. He died a few moments later, and nobody could find the perp because there were no witnesses who cared enough to say who it was. Dingas had a funeral, and I remember his grief stricken mom was in the room. I felt the energy was off, something was truly off, and his mom needed space. I would have given her a hug, but boundaries, space right? So I didn’t. The whole point of this is that if someone did run Michael over, they would have been charged with vehicular homicide, and I think it was likely due to the stigma of mental health.

Also, if you’re being treated for mental health, you should never discount what you get out of it. LaAmistad recommends that each patient in a counseling setting receive 45 minutes per week. For me, I only get it once per month because of medicaid. Medicaid is the poor man’s health insurance in the United States, for those others who are international and curious, and doesn’t always do their thing. I have an incredibly supportive partner, one good thing about me. Having friends and a support network is vital for those with mental illness, and fifteen years ago, I didn’t have that.

What else constitutes mental wellness? Well, here’s something we human modern peoples seem to lack. Can you guess what it is? Bingo, it’s empathy. Empathy is a big thing in humans, a big need for right now. It is lack of this empathy that leads a social worker to declare her case over with an abused child victim, and then the child is murdered while sitting in a dog cage. It is lack of empathy that leaves disabled and low income families in bedbug infested apartments, white gentry buying up the places that a disabled person could use, and so on and so forth. It is empathy that makes a caring person pissed off so bad that they are driven to action. LEt’s look at examples of what empathy does.

For those living in the stone age, or you haven’t paid attention to your psychology book, empathy is something that you can do with your kid, your cat, your friends, the world. Let’s start with closer to home. If you anticipate a baby’s need for milk and feeding, you act as soon as you hear the baby’s hungry cry. That’s empathy in action. When you soothe Grandma’s pain while she lies in the nursing home, and give her plenty of food she can have, that’s empathy. When you celebrate the life of your LGBTQI+ child who’s been bullied and you give them the celebratory dinner at graduation and beyond, that’s empathy. When you put yourself in another’s shoes, that is empathy. There are many people who would say I lack this, but that’s far from the truth. I have to do social justice crap because that’s what constitutes mental illness versus mental wellness. Social justice peoples are not mentally ill psychopaths. Without empathy, you can commit a multitude of crimes, and so when the baby arrives, I swear solemnly and on my dead body I will give my baby the best shot at a good life, including empathic responses to the big questions and small ones too. IF my baby needs milk, I’m going to do it. I do plan to make sure Baby is as strong as possible, and Trenton is the biggest empath I’ve ever come across. Empaths can connect with earth and people, and I could go on about the types there are, but that’s a whole other post for a different day.

I want to say though that if you do feel a consistent sadness, Baby Blues could be diagnosable as postpartum depression, and that’s okay. Just talk to your doctor and get referrals as soon as possible so you and Baby can still share moments together.

Happy mental health awareness month. And stay safe.

Beth

A letter to the Denver 7 peoples about guardianship

Author’s note: I forgot to mention that because I call people out for being guardian activists on behalf of upholding the status quo, or because I do speak out against unjust things, I got a death threat from a woman in Avilar, someone who was cowardice enough to disconnect her phone after I published it. Well, she deserved whatever came to her because you don’t threaten people’s lives. It’s illegal. And I don’t want hate crimes to be committed against me or my partner.

I’d like to share the email I just wrote the Denver Channel folks, though. Jennifer is their investigative girl, and she’s good. Really good. She and this producer did a story on guardianship fraud. I went and wrote the Great American novel, wink wink, about the whole thing. This is the signification of my email.

To whom it may concern,I’d like to reach out to Jennifer and Joe, who were so awesome in bringing a story about guardianship fraud to a Colorado news media channel. I hope it catches the attention of social services workers in this state as they really don’t seem to, um, care a lot like in the Netflix film. My name is Beth Taurasi. I was the victim of guardianship abuse in my native Florida, so I moved here to escape it. When I learned from LuAnn Fleming and others about what guardianship does, I pushed to have it removed. But removing a guardianship is not easy, not in any state. I was lucky to have a doc and a nurse in Colorado say well, she’s capable and competent and all that crap. But it’s ableist, sexist too. I saw the segments with Britney’s songs, and I was so supercharged because I know for a fact that Britney’s guardianship and mine are pretty similar, but different too.I was born totally blind and could never see the beautiful blue sky. But what bothered my parents was that I wanted to experience teenage girl stuff, dating and the like, but my parents were patriarchal, and my dad is someone I want to call Patriarch number 1. He might have been the one to orchestrate the guardianship and isolation I went through. I was told many times I couldn’t call a friend, talk to someone, and all that stuff. Recently I learned the power of friendship and check ins with friends because I was losing my mind over some things, drowned my sorrows in Gatorade, mind you it wasn’t Jack Daniels, but I always worried that my friends would get irate with me and say don’t call me again. Part of this problem probably stemmed from guardians like the Patriarch number 1 going after my friends and telling them how to interact with me. They treated me like an animal, not like a human being. This went on until I was told how to use the Internet, oh you will only use it from 10 AM to 4 PM EST or EDT whatever. I was living in Florida, and was begging for a trip to Littleton in Colorado to get training on the Blindness front. But I was so emotionally abused and manipulated, gaslit by professionals and teachers alike, so much because they were calling me bossy and silencing my leadership abilities. Now, I can’t even get a job and career and I don’t frankly think I will be able to safely have one because of a few different factors, mainly the activism and such. I read this book called Youth to Power, and it says you have to find your why. Well, my why with guardianship activism is because after five years, I left Florida for Littleton, and even after, I wasn’t given enough support from my parents, and they never wanted me to have money for food. I would be starving in half my classes, I passed out once, though I did get some if not a lot of care. I ended up at one time trying to find a spiritual group other than the Roman Catholic church which was where my parents came from. My partner, Trenton Matthews, is the most supportive partner I’ve had, and he has to put up with me sometimes being angry at stuff but I usually am comforted by his presence more than anything. In the years before I met my amazing partner, however, I had to endure abusive relationships, namely those of a guy online and I lacked any support for my ambitions. I wish I could go to college, but there’s a debt and I didn’t receive guidance or enough Pell grant money to go. I would fill out my FAFSA but my parents’ income might have something to do with why I am afraid I won’t get Pell money. Who would give such money to someone who wants to make a wedding a social justice issue for example? My other problems may likely be the result of me even speaking out about guardianship and the evils it likes to do and the damage left behind. When I posted on a Facebook community help thing, I got degraded by an ex and a friend of his, someone I knew and hadn’t spoken to, and this strange female figure in the blindness community. Guardianships and the blindness community are intertwined. I’m helping a gal in Orlando get her parents to shut up and let her have her SSI check and honestly, the other problem is that all parents with disabilities are liable to either not teach their kids financial skills, after which they steal the check and hold the disabled person hostage from boyfriends, friends, and others. I’m going to work on a book that helps people escape such a brutality, and it is brutality.I”m open to a news interview. I want to talk to Jennifer because when I had guardianship in Florida, the Colorado instructors in Littleton’s Colorado center for the Blind on West Shepard thought I was good for nothing, and even if it wasn’t the director Julie Deden herself, there were people in that group who were toxic. My boyfriend at the time was a Muslim, so I got Islamophobes talking about this and that and not focusing on their work. I trucked on and graduated the center, but then I realized how my expectations and the guardianship subject had been muted. None of my concerns were given to my parents. They sent all the students home from the center apartments, it wasn’t what they currently have, but when I got home, my parents forced the Catholic faith on me, I couldn’t wear hijab, I was a Muslim at the time, and sure I cared about Jesus, but guardianship allowed my parents to do spiritual abuse. I was practically done when I got back to Littleton, so I never went back. The guardianship was discharged in December of 2020 after I was committed by ceremony to Trenton, and I would use the word commitment ceremony, not wedding, in any report because weddings are usually legal and we can’t lose our benefits.The guardianship in this country is the worst thing I have ever seen. I did say I was helping a gal get out of hers, and it’s no different than mine. My former guardians used to tell me that a certain man I liked was “sexually experienced” and they forbade me from calling a school friend because he was younger, black, and Caribbean. I am done with my parents, for the most part because they don’t even talk to me much. Their actions created a rift in the family, the blindness community responded with anger and toxic commentary. My best friend of ten years is gone because he chose to respond that way. Now I can’t even talk to certain people because they’ll call me spoiled for requesting housing and other things. People simply don’t believe when I say that guardianship abuse must be curbed, stopped, even here in Colorado. I am working with Rocky Mountain Human services because the toxic culture of the blindness community contributeed to mental illness and so on, so I make it a point to use in home care services, mainly the homemaker services, and my caseworker knows the story. Rhonda Cordova, however, does not wish to help me get safe and clean housing. I wonder why. I wonder if it’s a privilege or hatred of me in particular, but the guardianship might have made the difference. Rhonda was reported for being apathetic toward my situation, and she got mad. It had to do with my building’s bedbug crap, and I can’t find housing anywhere else but yeah, the guardianship is leaving me unemployed and living in a bedbug infested chateaux. There are many layers of this and other things I could tell you as to why Colorado should get rid of guardianship in favor of supportive decision making. Pat in the story could benefit from this. He needs to be given a pet dog to play with, people need to let him have money, and perhaps the state should settle for more because he lost his estate. pat has intellectual disability, which is a bit different than me, but still, when I heard the story, even Pat knew something wasn’t right. Lawmakers should make it illegal for a parental guardianship to take place in the cases of disabled kids. ask my main caregiver, Maria Weir, she has a daughter with autism and we talk frequently about issues of social justice, one of which is guardianship. Her little daughter could end up even dead from a guardian doing a bad and evil job at caring for her. I’ve become this social justice warrior because of my life experiences, and I’m fighting some battles of my own as well. Please call me at 720-435-7407 and I’m glad to meet with you. Even if care is going on, you may come in. Please don’t scare my landlord it’s not about her.Thank you so much.PS you can check out my blog and website. I’ll copy the text of this email to my blog after a response.Beth

Letter to my ex boyfriend and others, TW ableism and sexual harassment/fragile masculinity mentioned here

The following piece is dedicated to Blake Tucker, with whom I spent 2 and a half years as a girlfriend, but I’d also like to give a shout out to Jessie, my messy and altogether very good friend from Miami, and thank him for letting me open my eyes. This piece should probably be in the feminist essay collections, and I was inspired to write this because of activists like Jessica Valenti and more importantly, there’s a Muskogee lady that wrote this brilliant essay on how women have been protecting each other in Native American circles. If anyone thinks I weaponized or did something wrong, please read below and feel free to be constructive, positive, and above all, careful what you tell me.

Dear Blake,

Last week was hell. And I couldn’t believe what you did to yourself. I’m not here to discuss a vibrator, sexual freedom, or God. I’m here to discuss you, and how you contributed to a very big problem here in America, got duped by Christians who are telling you that women like me don’t deserve to be heard, and you silently watch me get bitten up by bugs, attacked by heathen Ableists with no logic whatsoever about thee disabled experience on my end, and you don’t even connect with your Native American self. Like it or not, I think I need to tell yoou my story again and for the rest of the people reading this, especially activists, feminists, and others who are interested, I’ll explain where each of us has been.

the whole thing about vibrators is. just plain misunderstanding. Blake, you said to me shortly before we broke up something that absolutely was an affront to me being destressed in a time when stress was everywhere. I won’t write it here, you’ll only get mad at me and such. Blake, I care enough about you as a friend to say you should still go to your church, but I want to present a picture of God you never even drew, saw, or might not think exists.

Jesus, the Christ you report to for missions and so on, was an inclusive figure. Jesus was, however, used to mess up Native cultures to the point of death and nonexistence. The Spanish, particularly those in New Mexico and Arizona, used Jesus as a way to convert what they saw as “heathens.” But it has harmful consequences still today. In the ancient times, if you rolled with Jesus and the rich Eurocentric stuff, you got treated better. Is that fair? Jesus would never have said, kill the ones who don’t convert. I see a parallel between the 1500 to 1700 missions in the sixteenth through the eighteenth centuries and Muhammad the prophet’s weird and deadly fatwa, religious order, to “fight and slay the pagans where ye find them.” Muslims today have this issue with holy war, and among their so called missions is to convert everybody or make them pay with the tax or their lives. It has some rash consequences, including the genocide of the Coptic Christians, and the Jewish people have to contend with the power they are misusing. There’s a tribe in Iraq and Syria called the Yezidi that we have touched on, and because IS, or Islamic State, wants to make the whole world Muslim, you got Yezidi people dying or fighting. Nadia Murad, if you read this, I hope you see the same pattern I am about to describe below.

Blake, when the peoples you represent, all of these peoples, saw the Spanish and the pale faced white humans trashing their beliefs, going after the Native women, the men had little power to do with it. Do you know why the Trail of Tears happened? Because of a white idiot named Andrew Jackson, and the history books don’t tell you enough about it, only to whitewash it. Native beliefs were to be eradicated along with they themselves. There’s something about Natives I am drawn to, and let me explain what it is.

Muskogee activist Sarah Deer writes of a method of protecting women, an ancient survivor network and it whispers too. Deer says that “gossip is an English word” in her essay with the same words as its title. She says that women in the Indian country or first nations people would whisper that a man is dangerous, do things to protect each other, etc etc. Men would get axed not by death or killing, but there’s a whole healing process that goes with the whisper network. Would my white women friends like to try it out? I certainly want to, but Blake, here’s the deal: the tribes affirm women, LGBTQI+ and blind and deaf people. In ancient times, the Native tribes of the West, particularly tribes such as the Hopi and the Navajo, would integrate their deaf and they’d never, never seek to cure blindness. Sure, some babies lived and died as babies but it was never a shameful thing, and there was lots. of medicine to be had in the spiritual ceremony and traditions. There’s even a legend of the Cherokee tribes that affirms women’s power to give life as a weapon of sorts. When a woman in some tribes has her moon time, her menstruation, she would be allowed to go to this sweat lodge thing where she can recuperate and such, and she rests and stretches out the cramps from Hell. But imagine for a moment that this same feeling a woman has could be used to save a race of people. It did in this legend, called Stonecoat, where a stone guy tries to rob the people, kill them, etc., but seven “granddaughters” weaken him in a big show of badassery where they say, “I’m in the sacred way” each time he walks by. He’d try to convince the girls they’re dirty, but the badassery just threw him to the ground. It’s my favorite female legend of Native sorts. There are many others, and I can tell you that Natives had Romeo and Juliet in the legend of Mina-Sauk before we even had Shakespeare. These ancient traditions may not have anything with God or Jesus, but I can tell you this much: weaponizing Jesus as a way of dissing me is not going to work.

Native medicines and beliefs and ancient peoples did not necessarily have anything against a woman making herself feel good. I don’t see much of that, but regarding your comments to me before we broke, the vibrator was a doctor prescribed thing against what we used to call “female hysteria.” For disabled females, this is a common thing you might say back then. Today’s disabled female is likely to experience violence, I have, and isolation, which I have as well. I’m done trying to tell you that disabled women experience violence and you say, I know I know, but Blake, the thing is that America was built on an unfair and unjust patriarchal social hierarchy that has many layers to it. Here’s how it works:

You have cisgender, straight and able white males on top. Follow that with cisgender able straight females, then black straight cisgender males and females respectively, and then you have cisgender straight indigenous folks, followed by all manner of disabled people, black and white included, but then at the very bottom you have nonbinary and sexual minorities. This hierarchy is disgusting and I want it to stop. We don’t need cisgender straight males running things. Native American disabled males who don’t follow a big Evangelical megachurch or even a small one like yours are likely to face homicide, taunts from the higher up people, etc., so I know you would want to stay put in your church. Sure your friends are cool, but there’s something I’m coming up on that I’m not cool with.

It wasn’t Native women who told me you flirted too much. It was a male who, surprise surprise is a disabled Hispanic cisgender straight dude, but oh my god, we’ve been friends since who knows when. Note that I didn’t mention Hispanics in the hierarchy thing though because you have two or three different kinds, including black ones and white ones, so I just go by the black versus the white. NOt all Latinos are white and not all are black, it’s a mixed bag. This friend of mine is amazing, I call him Jessie the Messy, and he’s just plain cool. He’s got his own stuff, works and has a cool head on his shoulders. Jessie warned me about your tendencies, but I was stupid as usual and didn’t read into things because I’ve been taught not to. But sure enough, you get used by someone else, and break another’s heart. Or she broke yours, I don’t care how the relationship panned out. If any girlfriends you have know that you disrespected my beliefs as a feminist and didn’t understand why I was so deeply hurt by the people purporting to believe in Jesus, and I’ll tell that story now.

When you broke it off with me, the now former preacher at Sovereign Grace Community Church in Westminster decided to call me a whore. A whore for being with Trenton. I brought him there in an effort to solidify friendships and maybe even see how the people would react. But thankfully, years later, well, I’m glad I and Trenton haven’t gone. I have a buddy in chorus that recommended I not live in Westminster because of what she called a “scary megachurch” but there are plenty of those in Westminster. What Sovereign Grace did can still be felt today. I attend a UU church, Unitarian universalist, and have found that it’s not only Jesus that suffices for spiritual teaching and knowledge. I can’t subscribe to this notion of “sin” because it’s too flexible and it stings too broadly on a lot of subjects. Wearing a short skirt if you’re identifying as female? Sin, according to the beliefs you’ve chosen. Playing with your own hair if you’re female? Sin again. And the notion of sin is an excuse to make my life more expensive, so think about why your mom, aunts, sisters, all have to pay more for tampons. There is a luxury tax imposed because the government is sexist. The tax code for pink products, feminine stuff, is completely sexist. I only want others to understand that what you did to me represents a bigger problem with guys. Trenton tries to be supportive, and he is extremely cool, but you and anyone trying to attack me is not warranted in doing so.

Here’s what I want you to do. Stop talking to females who use you. I don’t use anyone, so stop it. IF you continue to be a flirt with girls after you’ve married, I’ll have to do what Sarah Deer does and warn her that this might not be the time to marry. I may not say your name, but still. Blake, I also recommend you reading Unladylike, a field guide to smashing the patriarchy and claiming your space. You don’t have to be female to read it, for real. Feminism is for everybody, and it benefits everybody. I do not hate men, as some will tell you, I just want accountability. You heard thee recent story of Josh Dugger, right? I was shocked and heartbroken because no man should be viewing child porn, but Trenton and I know that it’s illegal. We also know that Ashley Madison is not a good place to be if you’re trying to stay faithful. Vibrators aren’t the problem, and women aren’t the problem. Men are. Josh is highly unfaithful and abusive toward kids by viewing child porn. The victims who were used for this pornography are also being abused by Josh because in some way they might have been forced into it. Child pornography is something I know you could never see yourself doing, but if you were sighted, Blake, I wouldn’t be surprised if you went off and told someone that I didn’t look like your ideal woman, and it’s not your fault. Blake, you do have a good heart, but don’t get yourself dragged into conversations where you don’t belong. Lyn, one of the women who did the bad stuff on my community help post, has had nothing to do. She’s speaking from a class, race, and support privilege. I hate that, and data shows that minorities don’t just get subpar supports, they also get subpar commentary and subpar choices for schooling and other things. Your people are in trouble, and it’s not your fault. Why not summon the power of Wilma Mankiller to be your guide? Why not summon the ancestors to help you with some sort of realization of who you are? Jesus is great and all, but Jesus would never want you to label every woman’s desire a sin. The traditions that state that Adams are in charge and Eves are not do not apply to me and all of us anymore. I. can’t stand by and watch as women are sexually assaulted and no one believe them. The bedbug issue in this apartment complex scared my caregiver, and it scared the company, and yet the caseworker wasn’t there when she needed to be, and I don’t bllame her for it, but she needs to show up for me and do for me because I’m her client, and so should she do this for other clients. NASW clearly does put client safety in their code of ethics. I’ve written my local Senator for the state district 4, and I hope to have an appointment with her because the laws and policies that are in place are enabling Lyns everywhere to ruin lives like mine. Your friend Jennifer thinks she can get away with practically anything, and worse, both those girls spoke from a support class privilege. They had family support, I don’t have it, and they’re white, straight, etc. Lyn has a job, and she didn’t earn the employability. It’s all in the numbers, so look carefully.

Blake, please do some homework and get back to me. Jesus would demand that you apologize, and I apologize if what I said about you was hurtful, but what you did really wasn’t your fault per se. Though you chose this set of beliefs about Jesus and women, yu do have a choice to enact safer ways of interacting with the females in your life such that you don’t get ire from Jessies everywhere, or even your family’s women. Don’t subscribe to this notion that sin is everything, and it’s not sinful for a woman to read or write. Please read the Handmaid’s Tale and the Testaments, authored by Margaret Atwood, and she really has a lot of wisdom about why she wrote these books.

Beth

I know it’s a bit early. TW mentions of bullying.

Dear Santa,

I know it’s a bit early. But if I was only a child, I’d be on your knee right now, talking to you about stupid stuff like toys, etc. But guess what? I’m 35, no kids, no real house with a chimney, fireplace, and all theh fixings of a Christmas house. Santa, I believed in you for years, and I’ve seen a pattern of stuff going on in kids these days. While somem are saying, oh my god, kids are so spoiled, you know what I also see? Stupid, evil, abusive men. I see men who hit and beat up their wives and children, and the children write you letters saying, I want Mommy to have a ggood husband who does not beat her, won’t beat me up, etc. There are “elves” so to speak here in the real world who read your letters, and their hearts break. I don’t know if my letter will ever be seen by the elves here, but I know what I want for Christmas this year. Please tell me I’m not spoiled for asking this. I didn’t want to ask for anything but a modest clean house with a good walkable neighborhood, friends and a family and community that would support me in raising a child who will believe in you. I have always wanted a child, but that child needs more than I can give, but I would never want my own flesh and blood in the hands of someone who doesn’t get it. Let me begin at the beginning.

It all started with creepy crawly bugs in my apartment, maybe a neighbor has them, I don’t quite know. My longterm care provider, who is excellent and tops in all the things she does, basically had to stop showing up through no fault of her or her supervisor’s. I’m totally blind, and this building sucks. I have been stuck here for ten years in HUD public housing in Denver, Colorado, and I’ve seen my share of heartbreak. My partner and I don’t want to raise a child here in this run down … well, what I like to call a bug infested chateaux sometimes or a run down chateaux. The reindeer couldn’t get on the thirteen story roof and no way do you wanna go down thirteen stories to give presents to all these people who have either forgotten or don’t think you should be here. Some have kids and grandkids, but the grandkids visit on periodic times. I am only 35 years old, have never felt the pains of childbirth, and I have never forgotten you. You have many names, St. Nicholas among them, and if I were Catholic, I’d be asking you to bring me a child, whether through the foster system or by my own body. But alas, a job would have to be procured, but honestly, I don’t think it’s safe for me to have a job. I just want to change the world so that people can be here safely, not kill each other with guns and stuff, not call each other bad names or get unnecessarily bent out of shape just because I did something I had to do.

So the story is that I posted something about a house, an apartment, I just want a safer roof over my head, and families and such. While I have been blind my whole life, I know how this world treats us, but it is also a division of have and have nots. I have a really cool partner who I’d love to know what his child would look like, and all the good things that come with having a child. I’d raise that child to just let their imagination run wild, and every Christmas Day, I want for that child to wake up in a modest house, and I didn’t even post that I wanted a designer mansion in Beverly Hills for God’s sakes, but that’s how two people on my Facebook page perceived it. I don’t want a guide dog, I said, just a small spaniel puppy and nothing too special. I didn’t say I wanted a big yard, so I said I would get a dog with no requirement of a big yard. And the nasty comments came in. “You’re a spoiled brat. How can you afford this and you can’t even feed yourself?” what insults. Santa, I want those people to get rocks and … no, coal is too humane. How about environmentally friendly reminders of how mean they were?

Santa, the girl who also said I wasn’t living reality should get a hallucination from somewhere beyond, and then she’ll start talking to it, and then she’ll ask, is this real? Well, I don’t and have never had hallucinations so … what the hell she was doing was wrong. I’d give her a shrunken brain for Christmas with the words engraved like as follows:

Santa says you’ve been naughty, so here’s the scoop. All you get for Christmas is this … your shrunken brain. There you know what I mean?

My ex boyfriend, I’ve mentioned him here before, I don’t want him to get but anything for Christmas. He claims he has the best life, all those stupid friends of his who don’t even know my name, and frankly, I don’t know who he is anymore. I said in a live feed that he wouldn’t let me have a vibrator and all this and that, but truth is I liberated myself from this stupid prison called this is a sin and that is a sin. Santa, women want freedom and love and that’s it. Children have imaginations, and trust me, it was a child’s imagination and later an adult’s frustration that led to many inventions and concepts. For Christmas, I wish you’d just leave my ex’s stocking empty, and a note that says, you’ve been naughty, so here’s the thing: come Christmas you shall not be able to sing. My exes don’t need to be involved in my search for an apartment.

Do me a big favor, though, please give my caregiver more tools for her profession. Give her a vacuum cleaner that works. Brooms are cool. Please give her more money in her pay pack, and don’t let anyone give her migraine headaches. If she needs days off, please assure I won’t let her go. For her daughter, who is autistic, give her a long and happy life, and she will one day have kids who beelieve in you. But all I want is a modest rental or owned house with three beds and two baths, a kitchen, a living room, a family room, maybe a small porch, a small yard, a flat roof or rectangular roof. I don’t want to be without running water or electricity because hell, this is the U.S. and if the girl who is mentally ill behaves, please if you could just give her back her electricity, and let her glimpse her family members, and let her pee in a toilet instead of a bucket, okay? Fix her house, her plumbing, and all that. She doesn’t understand how awful it is to ask for something as reasonable as a house and get this badly beaten up. I am not asking for a mansion, but if you insist I live in a nursing home, I won’t write you again.

Please, Mr. Claus, I know you only do kids and toys, or maybe you don’t, but if I don’t bear a child, that’s one less person to believe your story. You brought stuff to kids who had nothing at all, but my ex, who’s. probably as immature as a boy and in his twenties, and this other gal he was talking to on the phone with me, look, I have empathy for the girl. But if she misbehaves I’m not gonna say a word. I want her to have the plumbing and heating she needs, and that tornado? I didn’t even know it was over her house. Please, give her a few Colorado peaches.

But all I ask is for a modest living situation, and Santa i’ll be glad to give you everything: my food, my check, some place for the deer to graze, what the hell else should I give you in return/ For my ex, I want him to have a virtuous and very good person in his life who can marry him and call him husband, and I want him to stop being entitled to sexual things with her. He needs to quit flirting with other girls, but she will also be the one to say, “I’m not your slave.” Give my ex the ability to cook for himsef, his wife, and future kids. And when the time comes, Santa, go to his and his wife’s room and I would hope you give them Christmas presents for the whole family.

What breaks my heart is that I’m being questioned about my abilities. I have a special wish for my disabled community members. Do not give us sight. Give us books we can read, ones in Braille and such, and please, santa, keep reading the letters of blind children. Make the parents get them out of bed and get them writing and reading Braille again. Santa, would you fly your sled over to D.C. and tell the lawmakers and old Mr. Joe over there that there are transgender kids who need a ride in your sled to places where they will have life affirming care and stuff like that/ There are many kids who could use my house, and if I get the house or modest rental, please let the kids come and I’ll find foster homes that are life affirming for them. There’s a girl in Texas who has received death threats, and you being the magical one, you know her name. She was born male, but she really is female, pronouns she/her/hers. Please give her lots of dresses, and money so her parents can get the hell out of Texas. Cut the lines of those who are bothering her, and tell the lawmakers in Texas they’ll be getting coal and rocks and useless crap in their stockings, nothing at all, or perhaps a summons letter to report to jail for threatening this little girl. Tell the girl’s mother that I wish her all the best, but that I’d give the shirt off my back for her because she needs it more. Look, if I. had a modest multibed place with no creepy crawlies, I’d be glad to share it with her. My husband and I would give our whole career and lives helping kids like that one. And please send my friends at the Initiative more tools so some more women and children with disabilities can be helped on my behalf. Santa, I know it’s a bit early. But for Christmas, I want to change the world, I want a modest house, and don’t make me copy Amy Grant’s famous Christmas song. Because her list is my list.

I have to see who messaged me, but I’ll see you and all your entourage at Christmas, and I hope that my wishes and the wishes of others come true. I’m sorry to write this early, but you have six months to prep. That’s plenty of time.

Beth