#whyIdidntreport

Dear Readers,

Consider this a Part 2 of the #metoo story. You’re all wondering why I didn’t report this. Well, some of you are not on Facebook, but I will be happy to tell you a few reasons why I didn’t report what happened to me.

1. He had his weapons drawn. The man known under stolen DJ names, and whose Skype ID was jasondo374, that man had his weapons drawn. You guys might be wondering if it was guns, but it wasn’t. It was worse. He had recordings in which I was supposedly asking about the weather while we were supposedly making love. This man used the recordings as revenge porn to get off, attempt to break other relationships, and turn former friends online against me.

2. Nobody would believe me. The big question I’d be asked would be, why are you harassing my precious little angel, that being a question his mother might ask. I was threatened and harassed for reporting the things Jason Doh did and was sent a very nasty email. Jason thought it was funny to send it, possibly pleasurable to see me suffer and bad things happen, who knew! But this young assailant was disabled, and so the other question I might be asked would be, since Jason is disabled, why could he do this? Because he’s human, like everybody else. No matter what his heart looks like, no matter the presence of eyeballs, he still had a brain, albeit half of one as it were. This young man also resides in a racist, ableist state, Georgia, where it is rumored that there is a lot of racism going on, but hopefully a Stacey Abrams can shut the white elite up. We need this because of a man like Jason.

3. He is entitled, spoiled, and lacks remorse. If I reported him, the racism would persistently send the wrong message, that Jason is a sweet innocent angel that doesn’t do anything wrong. The truth is, well, Jason went on to abuse and knock he hell out of several women, including friends and loved ones I met online. The blind community should be ashamed of itself for overlooking survivors like the victims of this man. The survivors probably won’t be able to report because according to Jason’s own mother, he is supposedly above the law.

This kind of mentality must be rendered unacceptable by the majority. Here’s a few things we can do to stop it:

1. As my friend Ray would say, disability is no excuse to commit heinous acts.

2. Disabled people should have equal access to lawyers, public defenders, etc., if accused of a crime, and the same goes for accusers such as all of the survivors I speak of.

3. No attack on a woman’s reputation should ever ensue when she reports a sex crime or sexual harassment or degrading verbal abuse.

4. There should be a mandatory prison sentence put in place no matter what a judge might want for sex offenders, even disabled ones. For instance, for child sex crimes, the offense should be a mandatory sentence of 5 to 10 years if found guilty. Let’s say the child was under twelve. The sentence would be 10 years minimum, and any additional years would be added if the severity of the crime is such. If a child is abused or neglected or sexually abused and neglected emotionally, the sentence should be a mandatory 10 years. If the child is pregnant, the sentence should be a mandatory 20 years minimum plus no contact with the victim or her child. No visitation, no joint sessions or custody would be allowed. Since the father in this case is a rapist, there should also be an automatic sex offender classification and registry.

I do think child molesters should all be registered not only as sexually violent predators, but also as child abusers. Double register for these people would mean they could not have or adopt children, could not contact children, and would not be allowed to reproduce or attempt to. In this manner, I think the child abuse and sex offender registries would serve as a partnering deterrent for those who wish to commit heinous acts of violence against disabled girls, able girls, or any girl for this matter. We need to get tough on those folks who feel entitled to commit acts that would damage others, cause them not to trust, and so on. After hearing Christine Ford’s testimony, I am reminded of how awful sexual assault is for women, and after seeing so many of you all’s posts about why you never reported, I felt it was necessary to talk about the system, why it’s broken, and what can be done to fix it. The root of the problem here is also raising responsible and not spoiled children. Whatever happened to rocking and cuddling our babies, holding our children at night, and telling them that it’s okay to have a hug or two? I will now explain the difference between sexual harassment, and not sexual harassment. This should be a no brainer.

1. It is sexual harassment if a hug emphasizes thrills, lasts a bit too long, and if a guy tries to then grope a woman’s or girl’s boobs/breasts.

2. It is not sexual harassment to tap someone on the shoulder, hug them in times of crisis or grief, or massaging the person’s back if they ask. Proper massage technique should be done if the person wishes it, so a good and gifted massage therapist might do that trick or them.

3. It is sexual harassment when you tell jokes about a woman’s genitals, or a girl’s virginity, or a woman’s ability to use said genitalia.

4. It is not sexual harassment when a guy complements a girl on her outfit, her hair, or discretely says, your bra strap is showing. I had an embarrassing moment with a bikini top I’ll get into later in another post, but it was the discreteness of finding out about it though I was a bit blushy about it. Had a young boy said it like this, “Hey, Beth, your bikini top is off, may I help you secure it?”, I would be more than open to that.

So there are many other subtle differences between sexual harassment and just innocent playing around. Dr. Leigh Baker, author of Protecting your Children from Sexual Predators, and another handbook for child abuse survivors, also has an extensive chapter on telling the difference between abuse and just plain play between kids. Sometimes a man and woman will get pretty wild, but the key to this is consent.

For instance, if I find a girl who is interested, I’d tell my fiancé, hey, let’s do a threesome. And if she consents, one hundred percent of course, it’s not harassment. If a young adult or full adult does not consent, none of this works properly.

I hope you guys are well informed as to not only why I didn’t report, but why we need to change the system and what harassment is, for real. ANd thanks in advance for any respectable commentary.

Beth

For the billionth time, church is out, and a new single from a good friend …

Dear Readers,

I’d like to start this blog entry on a positive note. Esoteric Quality is about to release his second single, entitled Conniving Mastermind, and let me tell you, it’s a huge improvement inn the beats and vocal volume. The content of the song speaks loudly about everything from pathological liars to women to colleges to … well, everything. Anything that could be associated with the word, conniving mastermind, is associated with this. I won’t spoil it any further, but please stay tuned to your favorite iTunes artist accounts and charts, new singles, etc., or go to http://www.blindeq.com to check out Esoteric Quality and his bio and all the music he’ll be working on, and I’m proud to say I helped him with his bio. I wrote it in third person as it should be, and he collaborated with me on it, which is cool.

Now, I’d like to turn your attention to some previous stuff I’ve written. I know some of you have been concerned about spiritual health and enrichment in my case. But sadly, I’m not going to church, temple, or mosque or anything for any reason. Religious organizations simply don’t hold themselves and their governing bodies accountable for enabling ableism in their ranks. Therefore, go back a few posts and read what churches, temples, and mosques should be doing to protect disabled people. I should add that mosques should accept service dogs, regardless of religious objections, because these animals serve humans in ways humans sometimes aren’t willing to serve each other. And for you Catholics out there, St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals, who else?, he would not object to guide dogs in the nunneries, convents, and Catholic churches because believe you me, I heard a story of Pope Francis blessing a man’s guide dog for the service she did, I think it was a she. So otherwise, go look at why churches and religious orgs should follow the Americans with Disabilities Act, and read through every point. If I get thrown in to the Potter’s House, who cares? But I do care about my physical health. Spiritually, I can’t be associated with religions that promote second class citizenship of women, blind people, and other such disabled and different types of people.

News – Monkey bites kid at restaurant in…you guessed it…Florida

Dear Readers,

It’s definitely not every day that a kid goes home with a bite from of all things an exotic pet. The lesson here is keep your exotic pets out of restaurants, and don’t invite them in in the first place. Carabbas Italian Grill in Florida should be ashamed of itself because monkeys, birds, and other animals simply don’t go into food eateries. Guiding dogs are an exempt species, but not exotic pets, people. Below in the link.

News – Monkey bites kid at restaurant in…you guessed it…Florida

https://justgrubbin.com/2018/08/28/news-monkey-bites-kid-at-restaurant-in-you-guessed-it-florida/
— Read on justgrubbin.com/2018/08/28/news-monkey-bites-kid-at-restaurant-in-you-guessed-it-florida/

LEt’s Talk Reality About Entitlement

Dear Readers,

Recently, I wrote here that education in AMerica should be free. Well, we pay for bills, we pay for houses, and certainly taxpayers pay the education bill whether their children attend school or not. What would a world be with people who accepted this as reality?

Not one person would say what this one guy said on Twitter. Sadly, this guy is blind, developed a few apps the community claims to use, and treats his customers like garbage. And this guy said my education post was entitlement. Well? Let me take you on a journey into a world where girls don’t go to school, where young girls are sold as brides to old men, and where agrarian society laws and norms rule. Where disabled girls are born, there is death, lack of nurture, and neglect so the little disabled girl or boy dies. In Mexico, a baby boy was prayed over so he’d die. In Tibet, many young men and women are abused and their land holdings are confiscated for being blind. You call me entitled? I’m further from it than you, Mr. Negative Comment Man.

What entitlement does to people in general is a dangerous thing. It makes them act like the Donald, who swears up and down he didn’t “grab ’em by the pussy” but he truly said and did just those things. It makes you act like the twitter user who called me Lady Madonna, and in no good effort to insult me, he shut up when he learned from Clayton Jacobs, the man known as Esoteric Quality, that Madonna herself is a justice advocate, women’s rights person, and definitely a musical innovator in the ’80s. So what has to give? The comment of course.

As well as the money, the apps, and all the bad crap that is ever spoken to me on this blog.

While I have supporters like Clayton, who read this blog and see the points where experience and knowledge collide, there are just as many haters like the twitter man. I won’t name him unless anyone in the community is interested in the Lady Madonna hashtag, which to me was a poor choice of insult not only because it went against me, but against a royally rich singer who makes it her mission to fight women’s inequality in the world. Madonna was seen as bad for little kids, but who knew she’d come out on top? Who the hell knew!

Entitlement is a dangerous word for disabled people because it denotes privilege, most of us not having it. Six figures in your salary? Don’t count on it unless you’re the arrogant blind person in Alabama or Texas who said that his clients were paychecks and the attitude he held was awful, and he was looking for his own clients on Vorail. ANd the other six figure earners are people who don’t usually talk to the lower class strangers like myself, who is tirelessly blogging hour after hour after freaking hour to open the eyes of the blind to their own toxicity.

One man in the Disability Wisdom group I’m in, when I brought this up, said that people think they can use the words “entitlement” or “entitled” to shut another person down if they don’t have anything healthy and nice to say. Well, this twitter user didn’t have anything nice to say. What he doesn’t understand is that without free education, it is proven that girls would stay at home and wait to be married, boys would be favored, and girls and disabled children would likely die at birth or before age five due to childhood neglect. This happens in India, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, and countless places in Africa and Southeast Asia. Imagine life in Laos. You could be killed by order of the King if you were blind or disabled. Don’t scream entitled at your blind or disabled neighbor if you don’t know what the neighbor went through. Ahmed Chaing was a Sudanese blind guy who went blind in a tiny village, and he had nothing to wear or spend on food or anything else, didn’t have a job until he reached America. HE wrote eloquently about this in an NFB publication, the Braille Monitor, but there’s no arrogance in him. Sudan is a poorer Muslim country, but most disabled people in places like Sudan, Somalia, and Somaliland are simply left in the hills to die, but a girl is not rejoiced over either. Most schools for the blind in Africa, for example in Lesotho, become orphanages for the blind girls and boys alike because parents don’t think their kids have potential for their agrarian ways. Tibet’s Braille without Borders, founded by a renowned German blind tibetologist, graces Lhasa but then parents sometimes won’t look at their child again after placing them there. Blindness is higher incidence in these countries, and yet education is billed. ANd what happens when you bill a poor farmer and his wife trying to sell their crop? The girls end up as bait so their brothers can go to school.

We have mountains of evidence suggesting all this, yet the man responsible for the entitlement hashtag is not seeing it. One, he’s a male. Two, he lives in privileged America, and Three, he’s probably Caucasian and has arrogance written in the way he treated his customers. I’m a fighter, and I don’t take this stuff well, so before you write that I’m an entitled blind person, check your privilege at the door. Think of who else you hurt with your comments and statements, and go quietly. Thank you all for reading.

Beth

Why we shouldn’t bill parents in the United States for educating the kids …

Dear Readers,

Imagine your school days. Did it ever occur to you that your mom and dad would one da have to pay for the great memories you make at school? In Brian Crosby’s book, Smart Kids, Bad Schools, he proposed billing parents a nominal $339 per semester or per month, I forgot which one, but here’s the problem with this billing:

1. Immigrant parents who are particularly poor and don’t make enough could have their daughters stay at home.

2. Girls would be sold into arranged marriages in such families.

3. Children would be restricted to common core curriculum because of financial inequality with their peers who are rich.

4. Religiously framed homeschools such as that of Muslims would spring up all over the United States. We may have more liars too, folks who homeschool but really abuse the “students.”

5. Poverty for parents with disabilities would be more pronounced. Trenton and I would never pay for school uniforms, books, or any form of tuition. We’d want education for our kids of the future, but paying for it would mean prioritizing boys over girls, or if there are no boys, prioritizing able over disabled. And I’m sorry, but the billing of families would make inequity more of a problem.

There are kids like Cassidy and Harmony, two girls who want to do wrestling, but their parents have disabilities and might not be able to afford the girls’ wrestling accessories. Their mother wants them to do sports, which is all well and good, but imagine she’d been billed for those uniforms, food, and bus trips for the wrestling team. Oops! She has no boys, and all her kids are able, but let’s face this fact head on. She and her husband have poverty chasing away everything they want for their girls, and I hope this doesn’t include thir desire to wrestle. In any case, children should be allowed to find themselves and know their creativity in school without inequality and poverty getting in the way.

How to Stand Up to Hate and Bigotry in our World: the Charlottesville Anniversary Going Forward

Dear Readers,

It is amazing what support I do have for this blog, and the best thing is, it came at a time when standing up to hate and bigotry is most important. I am against the Alt Rights, the White Supremacists, KKK, and Neo Nazism, and all this because it affects me personally.

Here’s a few examples of how, on the other hand, you can stand up to bigotry and hate and prejudice from all sides of the cube.

1. Talk to a person in a minority group. This example comes straight out of Remember the Titans. Coach Boone, that is I think his name was Charles Boone, was a black football coach who said to his players, “Speak to a teammate of a different race.” He made them pair up, then absolutely made them talk about each other’s lives, families, and other things. You’d be shocked at what you can learn about your coworker, classmate, or your potential son or daughter in law.

2. You can also attend a church of a different denomination, a Jewish denomination you’re not familiar with, or a Hindu temple. Try any religions you’re not familiar with, and remember, this happens only after you complete step 1. IF your new friend is Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, or whatever, go with them to temple, church, mosque, etc. Learn about the religion, but don’t just convert without doing your homework, and then you can have more meaningful conversations with that person about their beliefs.

3. After completing steps 1 and 2, invite a group of different people to a dinner party whether it be a restaurant or your house. You don’t have to complete step 2 for this one, but step 1 should be done a few times over. Let’s suppose I stopped by my friend Tanya’s house. Tanya is Jewish, so then I stop by an old classmate of mine, Amit’s house, and then stop by someone else’s house, and so on. LEt’s suppose I invite Amit and Tanya and my fiance Trenton and a few other spices and icings of different people to a party. Let’s suppose I made a vegetarian meal, something Amit and Tanya could enjoy. No beef or pork, so I’d stick with chicken, but if someone doesn’t like chicken, no meat. While getting to know your friends’ favorite foods, discover the kinds of cuisines they’re into, such as Italian, Israeli, Indian (from India), etc.

4. In school, participate in a group that advocates for inclusion such as Best Buddies, or diversity, such as NAACP or any other organization you can think of.

5. Sit with a classmate who is repeatedly excluded from groups at lunch. This step only applies if you go to school or work and you notice a coworker or student classmate who’s excluded. Find out why. Could it be that they were the survivor of sexual assault? Could it be that the student is the only mixed or person of color in a crowd of white people? Anglo Americans should take note that persons who are African Americans or African natives by blood are people just like us, and they are not aliens. Got it?

6. Ask a minority on a date. If you’re in love but live with a hateful group of family who doesn’t get it, dare yourself to act and ask someone in a minority group on a date. Doesn’t matter what coupling, dating is for everybody. If you just want to hang around with your gay buddy, that’s fine too. Ask your potential partner what he/she’s been up to, what she or he has suffered as a result of being LGBTQ or whatever. Talk about whatever floats your boat, and watch your relationship grow if it does at all.

7. IF it is possible, introduce your new partner to the family. Pick the family that shows more acceptance to your partner, like I have to do all the time. Trenton’s mom and I are on speaking terms, thank God, but my family? Hmmm, not much is said except happy holidays and Merry Christmas, of course. Lip service doesn’t pay, neither does crimes against humanity.

8. IF the steps 6 and 7 are completed successfully with acceptance, plan a wedding. If your finances allow, you could also go to a perfectly acceptable honeymoon, and plan to visit a country that won’t judge your interracial or interfaith relationship. For example, I wouldn’t recommend India for anyone, not at all, even if it was your ancestral home because of rules regarding kissing in public, arranged marriages on the fly, and village child marriage that could possibly damn the vacation. Don’t go to countries that bear the banner of nationalism and exclude certain races or mistake them as gypsies. Trenton, for example, has a darker hue than me, but if we travel to Greece or some other Balkan nations, we could end up in hot water because Trenton could be mistaken for a Roma, a Gypsy or other weird form of tribe nobody’s familiar with, and as a result, I could lose him in a brawl. I won’t let this happen. Germany might be a better choice, but we don’t spreghensi, … like we don’t speak German, so yeah. England, Scottland, or Wales would probably be good for us since we have friends there.

I’d like to say that not every step is going to apply to everybody in the world, but remember, if you’re a Y.A. Book Nerd, those star crossed lovers could appeal to your situation depending on the relationship and how the lovers interact. Finding a minority in the coffee shop you frequent might be impossible, but if a Native American or black or whatever other person walks in, greet them with a smile. Serve them food, and if they want to borrow coffee money, do it. I did that, and received two rocks as a result.

In any case, I hope this entry presents many ideas for people to ponder on how to break down race and other barriers making friendship or a loving romance impossible. Thank you all.

Beth

P.S. Correction: the Titans’ coach was Herman Boone, and his friend was a Bill Yost. So there you have it, my bad, if you’ve ever watched Remember the Titans, remember what Coach Boone said to his players.

Nervous as Hell. Social security is reviewing the obvious.

Dear Readers,

While I was going through the mail, I came across a letter that said we (both myself and my fiance Trenton) had to do a work and health review about our disability. Well? Let’s look at a few figures.

  1. Blind people are 75% or higher in the disproportionate unemployment rate in the nation. About 80% of employers are uneducated about blind people and their abilities. An ability based resume doesn’t seem to work for a lot of my friends, including my friends Blake, Josh, Jason, Clayton, and so many others. Four males who have spent their lives unemployed could tell you, especially Clayton, that job hunting is especially hard. Imagine 30 job applications a day, and do the math times the number of days in a year. Times that by 365 and you get a very high number, over a thousand. Compound the applications themselves with print only and access barriers you get lots of unemployed blind people.
  2. Compounding this with being female, most blind females are seen as valueless, naive sexually, a target on their backs for executives to take advantage of them. Rape culture is written into school and work handbooks, their dress codes, and worse, their corporate manners. IF I try to do manners like I have seen in an etiquette book, I might have a man pull out his junior executive and expect me to suck it, which I won’t. The blind men and women with jobs are lucky, lucky as ever, and most of those blind people with jobs are Braille readers, but women who are blind are also subject to the gender based pay gap. I would earn 50 to 75 cents out of every 1 dollar, whole dollar, that my fiance would earn. I won’t have this happen to me, and even if I ask for a raise, I would probably have to sleep with males who aren’t my husband. THis could hurt our marriage and relationship down the road.\
  3. What are the consequences of today’s corporate rape culture? For the men, it should be the high profile headlines like Charlie Rose, Harvey Weinstein, and others being thrown out. Matt Lauer was a Today show host, but because he sexually harassed colleagues at work, he was thrown out. But there are many more Matt Lauers and Harvey Weinsteins out there who expect, not respect, sex with women at work. Though Matt’s and Harvey’s stories brought it to the forefront, I wish this had been addressed earlier. Not only that, but I wish they’d address blind females at job sites being harassed because of blindness. Blind females have a huge consequence that I can’t bear to think of. Pregnancy at work. Can you imagine yourself in my shoes? Blind and pregnant? Because of a boss? I didn’t think so.
  4. Most of the SSI and SSDI rules make marriage impossible, but with Trenton’s affiliation with two Native tribes, we could get better resources, we could possibly together work to build a better future. Not on a reservation, however. The unemployment of reservation residents, especially at Pineridge in South Dakota, according to some church data I collected, is staggering. Try being blind, female, and black (person of color) or a minority racial group, religious group, etc. A Jewish blind female could suffer the same consequence as any other if harassed or forced to have intercourse with bosses who don’t think that their playing around, their sweaty fumbling as one guy in SVU once said, could lead to eighteen long and hard years of responsibility. I would never want my boss to be the father of children that I, Beth, would be forced to carry, raise, and or adopt out because if Trenton finds out a colleague in the upper office rank slept with me, the consequences would be damning.
  5. For females who are harassed in any way whether it be school or work, when the assault is done, the damage is done. I have been called slut before, and it hurts. Imagine if a boss violated me and nobody believed me and instead called me names, wanted nothing to do with me, and took things from me like friendship, relationships, and so on. This is unacceptable, and my body is as valuable as anyone else’s, and is not a vessel for someone to throw their broadsword into. That’s what my friend Tim calls the man’s body member. A woman’s body should be respected, and when I say no, I mean those two letters, n, o. Nothing more nothing less. I mean, leave me alone, don’t touch me, don’t advance on me, do not sleep with me, do not get me pregnant. Don’t upset my relationship with Trenton. No means no, and all those other things are important.

I have many profiles of persons both male and female on Facebook who work and are blind, but they come across access barriers at work. There are some who are expected to log visual information, use a visual software that can’t be rendered by a screen reader, and sometimes these ladies have no way to do proper clerical work. Clerical work requires you to read emails, collect data, etc. Oh well.

I have seen blind men at work. All but one of these blind men at work have shown their true colors. Maybe even two. I’ve got a few blind friends who work, but most of them work in sheltered places. Some of these guys are entitled, others have committed predatory acts in the past. See a medium post I wrote, and I was going to reprint the blind sex offender post, but I want to make a reference to that post.

Now, what is the punishment for sexually violating blind girls? The answer should be, jailtime, not just probation. One man raped a thirteen-year-old girl in Oklahoma, but used his disability to get off easy. This should not be happening.

There are probably many among us who would decry the presence of all sex offenders, but those who’ve committed sick sexual offenses against blind disabled females, or otherwise known as females with any type of disability, they should be in jail for a few if not ten years. They should have probation, a restraining order that prevents them from contacting their victims, or finding more potential victims, and this goes for all male sex offenders. The sexual offense battlefield is 90% male, 10% female. I for one am not one to assault a child, and I would never touch a child because sex between an adult and a child is considered abuse, and yes, it is abuse. I wouldn’t dare.

As for males who think it okay to say that there are no sexually aggressive females, there are. Sexually aggressive females are rising up, not in response to man, but in response to their inner wiring. Same thing with guys, they feel they can do deviant acts because of a choice they make based on wiring.

One such lives in Arizona, I’m redacting her name for those guys who think they can say she’s a dream. She’s not.

I’ve seen what she’s capable of, the things she says about the LGBTQIA community, and the worst thing she ever said was something to try and get someone she stalked to have her for breakfast. She might have had a brain tumor at twelve that took away her sight, but the brain tumor is not an excuse for her behavior. She must receive one on one and family therapy, treatments to prevent deviant sex acts, and stay away from guys.

And she certainly can’t go to work, not even with her loads and piles of money.

But what I’m nervous about is Social Security Administration taking away Trenton’s and my payments, and we have an audit to do on Tuesday, and they want to review whether I’m healthy enough for work. It’s not a question of health, rather it is a question of social status as to whether I can work or not. I won’t be able to do job training, work related programs, etc., and Trenton certainly will have to do something in order to get us a home. A house, a town home, a whatever, is the only way we can have the future we deserve. But SSI rules prevent us from getting legally married, so we won’t be doing it legally. Tim understands this, though he works. He and my friend Jessie are probably the best two blind guys who work, have good standing in the world, and do crazy stuff that makes all of us happy.

How many females work along with their male colleagues?

Not many. I hope the SSA does not take away mine and Trenton’s paycheck because we won’t be able to get a paycheck or food or anything if we don’t have payments.

Beth

P.S. For those who are pro guardianship, refrain from commenting. If we lose our SSI payments, I and he won’t be able to live on our own. Meaning, Trenton and myself, that is.