What are the problems with my building?

Dear readers,

My building sucks, let’s be clear. I’ll tell you why. Please see the below.

  1. When you apply, the snooty office manager peoples wanna go track your progress filling out the application, which requires installing a proprietary word processor, namely Microsoft Turd, err I mean word, on a pc or mac or whatever, but Windows and I got a serious divorce, and there’s no legitimate products or children involved. The application is also a very heavily inaccessible PDF.
  2. When you become a tenant, you have to sign papers, and the lease is not ordered up on your pc or mac in an accessible format.
  3. The laundry rooms suck because they’re visual, no Braille overlay labeling, which could easily fix the single function flatty buttons and such.
  4. The mail room and locker keys and boxes are either unlabeled or not consistently labeled.
  5. Requiring people to stay fourteen days per calendar year only is a HUD bullshit rule that must be removed because of heavy homelessness in our country and gentrified places like Clayton’s old apartment. Yeah, he’s been here longer than fourteen days, we need a place to stay period. More than anyone else, and especially because I want a child to be born and raised in an appropriate location. Ah, I digress. But this whole thing sucks.
  6. This piece of crap building targeted myself, my former lover Trenton, and now my current lover Clayton for home care services or ableist rudeness. The cleaning ladies like to make it a habit of throwing wet floor signs everywhere and in every path a blind person needs to walk on even in the early morning. While I realize there is a place for wet floor signs, there is no place for the rudeness and also, lack of language skills?????? See below.
  7. The ladies who clean our building are oftentimes Hispanics who don’t speak much English, and the underlings who do maintenance are also sometimes Spanish speakers who don’t know their English. Look guys, if you’re in Italy, guess whawt you have to do? Learn Italiano, right? Yep. So if I went to Spain, Mexico or Latin countries, I’d be damned if I didn’t learn some damn Espanol, so there you have it. If you go to Sweden, feel free to juggle learning Swedish, or in Finland, it’s Finnish. Also, I have a German friend who I talk to frequently. I told her, my friend Eva is one of the coolest and she speaks great English btw, that if I wanted to work in germany, then goddamnit I’m gonna learn how to speak perfect goddamn german, because that’s their land, their spaces, their territory. Of course, Eva’s hubby is American, but he’s cool and is open to learning german. So yeah, I have internationals all over my Facebook and Twitter, and if I ever said I would refuse to learn another language, they’d laugh at me. So why are we in the U-Stated Nites of Insanity, whatever the hell this country is, bending so far backwards for every last person in the world, not that we need a national language, but English is a very good trade language to begin, even if it is a Germanic Indus and so far mixed up language. I’m proud of that language, even Sanskrit contributes some stuff to it. If you wanna be the lady in Spanglish, fine, but if you come to this country and wish to do work as anything, please learn English if vulnerable folks are involved.
  8. The vending machines and selections thereof are not labeled.
  9. I’m appalled that the building doesn’t give a fuck about blind people in the sense of privacy and security and safety either.
  10. The elevators break sometimes, and both have been down before. Ugh. Just ugh.

Those are ten things I hate about this building, and the complaints come rolling in.

Beth

New Updates on Things Not Discussed Prior

Dear readers,

While typing this, it is again another Pride Month. There are a couple things going on and I want to say this. I might be a bit bicurious about women and nonbinary folks, and there’s a nonbinary trans buddy of mine that my partner has had a thing for, so we all might do some threesome stuff. Now, content warning, some sexual hullabaloo, so hang tight y’all.

First and foremost, I don’t normally say this, but I might as well have answered this question long ago. My family, to answer a question you might ask about being gay, would probably decapitate or worse, mutilate me because they don’t like LGBTQIA+ peoples, and they believe “homosexuality is an abomiation before God” … blah blah blah blah blah. I don’t give a damn, and that whole abomination quote I wrote is not in any way intended to outwardly offend my friends, but it is intended to show you what my parents and family think. They’re all Roman Catholic. Ugh. Roman Catholicism is not friendly to LGBTQ folks, even going so far as to say they can’t have the Lord’s communion, and that is an affront to human decency and does not preserve and treasure life itself. Because I love men, that doesn’t make me straight as an arrow. I’d have possibly gone with one had I known that so many of my exes were jerks. Jason, Joey, and other jerkish dicks out there should really steer clear any woman if they’re gonna treat me the way they did. Perhaps women are good for me, but why would I date a woman? Not all women are as woke as my man is, so I don’t know. The problem with women is that well, they’re the ones with the baby carrying tools, right? Most of those are women. Women usually bear the kids, so if I married a female partner, I’d be in deep shit trying to find a sperm donor, pay up, and all of that if you wanna have a baby.

The pride month, June, is a good time to reflect on my experiences. Seems men treat me like jerks, except for my bisexual partner, so there you have it.As I type this, my beloved Esoteric Quality, yeah that’s him, always has me in mind. He’s been such a great guy. And he’s so woke, it’s not funny.

Anyway, here we are, having a great bunch of fun while Esoteric Quality chews out company after company, stating that he has to physically go places that are not accessible by bus, the companies being antiblind ableist. Ugh, can someone please turn the ableist switch off all these companies?

Also, I’m transitioning to a new Hulu account, and Clayton put me on his, plus his Disney Plus. He’s a super sweet guy. Yep, my beloved Esoteric Quality is the best, he gave me damn near everything. I love him so much, even he knows that a lot.

Anyway, I’m just sitting here, about to guard the hive, which I would call this tiny castle thing. Sorry, DJ Celrock.

Beth

The Sins of Who?: Plain Communities Under the Microscope for Sexual Misconduct By Males

Dear readers,

Has anyone heard of the Amish? Okay, has anyone even seen the Amish at work? Behind the picturesque horses and buggies, the farmers working the land, there is a deep dark pit of evil and despair lurking. What is this evil we speak of? You’ll find it in a recent Peacock original docuseries called The Sins of the Amish. Now, let me just explain what the hell I’m talking about.

The Amish may seem like a hardworking people, born of service to a church or whatever, but there is rampant male entitlement, rampant sex abuse, and rampant child abuse as well. Let me summarize. In the Sins of the Amish, we meet a group of Amish women who were discounted repeatedly for filing police reports on their brothers, husbands and fathers. Here’s another thing. Forget the why’s and ways of the Amish culturally. Think about why the plain community of such is so far behind. LEt me tell you why. Take a train or time travel trip back with me to the 1800s, and look at a sexual education book. It suggests that girls be submissive unto their husbands, sound familiar? “Wives, submit to your husbands as they do unto the Lord as Christ is the head of the Church.” This was written in the book of Ephesians, but for crying out loud, this never applied to modern marriages in my humble opinion. I only feel better about this submission thing because I do it every day, not in the sense of abuse, but in the sense of I can give myself freely to my man without his judgment of me as sickening, sexually unattractive, things like that. The Amish girl who does not listen to her father and keep her brother and father standing tall is a rebel, usually put in an institution as in the nineteenth century, treated like total trash.

If you wanna see just how behind the Plain communities, which include Amish and Mennonites are, just look at the sex ed books they use. Girls are expected to marry at nineteen, sometimes younger, otherwise, like in the old days, they are considered old maids. This is not even about the card game, folks. This is the reality of unmarried Amish women.

While my sympathies are in some way with the Amish, all they care about is work, no play, and the farming communities have also been known to sell puppies illegally bred from puppy mills. Some Amish and Mennonite farmers have been themselves puppymilling around in Pennsylvania and other states where puppy mills are born. They’re everywhere, and the Amish farmers are not helping the problem.

While I was at Amish Acres, a museum and farm in Indiana, I was forbidden from using my mobility aid, a white cane, on the stairway and my parents forced me to follow the rules. I want to say to those folks in charge of Amish sites in Indiana and other places, do not even bother opening a place if you’re gonna do a big injustice toward your blind clientele. Please cater to folks with disabilities, and include the blind in your thought and planning of any touring and such. Please tell any blind person they can use the cane on stairs, on the floor, anywhere because it is required. Blind people in your facilities must also be allowed to use a guiding or service dog of any kind. Usually, guide dogs are trained in helping the blind up and down stairs, through doors, around things, all sorts of stuff awaits a guide dog handler and the dog themselves. If you’re one of those Amish or Mennonites, chances are you’re not reading this, but if you’re on the outside of such communities, know this. I have no qualms about turning the Indiana Amish in for discrimination against me and other blind tourists.

The Amish have had many sinful things done to each other and other people. I think more than the women they mistreated, and trust me that’s important too, but the dogs and the blind tourists and the wives of some if not every Amish man should know that there is a big wide world outside that protects women from these insular practices. While Carolyn Jessop was fighting for custody of eight little lives, Merrill Jessop, her good for nothing jerkish husband with a bunch of other sex toys to play with was demanding the same. Why did Carolyn win? Because she was smart, independent, sick of the sister wives being bratty with her and the kids. All but Betty ended up staying with her. Why did Flora Jessop get out of the FLDS too? Because she knew the world would protect women and such, and she had a very supportive husband and family of her husband. The other problem here is that plain communities are stuck in the past, not willing to move forward. Stuck in the past could be an understatement, but most religious groups that are not Amish or Mennonite are now going face down in piles of sex abuse scandals. There is no way that I would ever want to join a Plain community, and perhaps Weird Al wasn’t too far in making fun of the Amish. Yes, the song itself called Amish Paradise is rather comical, but the Amish and their sins are a reflection on us, the United States. What can we do to curb all the stuf going on in insular communities?

  1. First, could we revise the First Amendment to include you can have opinions, freedom of speech and the press and assembly which is safe and peaceable? Yes, peaceful assembly at all levels is great, but when the purpose of a group of folks is to do what the Heaven’s Gate nutheads did to those victims they encouraged to kill themselves, you got a problemo.
  2. Houston, if there’s a problem with a certain religious sect, one must be able to report it to a government task force set up for this purpose. While I value freedom to have and practice religions, practicing one’s religion should also mean that hateful thoughts and actions don’t mix themselves with the teachings of a deity or Jesus or Buddha or anyone else. Religions should be about freeing, not controlling mankind.
  3. If you want to see hate groups on a map, the Southern Poverty Law Center has a whole big map full of these such groups, including Neo-Viking, NeoNazi, Neo-Vulkish, and many others. In Colorado, there are a few underground hateful groups. Unfortunately, I’m sure Malcom X is rolling in his grave because the Nation of Islam is listed in Colorado as a hate group for being and speaking Antisemetic. I can’t stand antisemitism as much as the next big black guy can’t stand racism, but shouldn’t we include the Plain communities on a certain level of a hate group registry? See next item.
  4. Let’s say you’re browsing a group database thing so you can find something to be part of, you’re a new person to this country, or you’re new to the state you live in and you’ve been American all your life. LEt’s say you got swept up in a group, and you found out the group doesn’t like your gay son or your lesbian daughter or your transgender grandchild, your blind relatives, etc etc. Things like this happen a lot. So here’s the skiny. Level 1 registered hate groups should not be allowed to receive government support and funding, should be taxed for hate, and should be told how to operate safely because people can die from such groups. These level 1 groups would include terrorist orgs like the KKK, NeoNazi groups, and a lot of your white nationalist orgs as well. I’d also classify America’s alQaeda groups as level 1 and add terrorist to the label as well. This would be classified as code red level 1. All groups in this tier would get a red bar code symbol to place next to their name. So let’s see how this would work. Level 2 groups would be all of level 1’s criteria, but no violence would be pinned on it. Such groups might include, sadly but accurately, your Neo-Vulkan groups, some of your anti LGBTQI+ churches, including the Westboro Baptist Church and some of the Pentecostal churches that preach only to include cis males and cis females, think about it. These churches would also have to be taxed, and would not receive government funding or support, and did I want to say the Word of Faith Fellowship should get a level 2 on this registry? The big bad reports of abuse would go here. There have been incidences of violence and isolation of cult members, and this is a dangerous cult status group we’re talking about, but WFF really should be a place where politicians are barred from. They should not be part of this organization if they want to govern our country. WFF has been noted as abusive and not following the word in its entirety, using scripture as a means to abuse kids, all that stuff. The ax on this church will be because they won’t be able to run in a whole county in North Carolina.
  5. Continuing from the previous item, the Amish would be a special case, level 3. Level 3 groups would be the groups that have been known to be abusive, are everything but racist. The Amish don’t like disability, don’t like gays, so they’d probably fall under this category. There will be a little orange dot next to those groups. Level 2 groups, btw, would get a yellow thing next to their names because you know what yellow would mean right?
  6. There would be a green dot to the proximity of groups that do the following.
  1. Green coded groups would welcome all people in its ranks provided the criteria for joining the club can be that you may be interested in a subject, golf for example, or you have a like mind with the club’s members, ham radio for example.
  2. The clubs in the green category don’t hate people based on protected class status, including disability, sexual identity, sexual preferences, and many otyher combinations of protected class.
  3. The group would accommodate people with disabilities. All materials should be made into formats we can read, including on the Internet.
  4. Recruitment is not aggressive or some marketing tactic.
  5. No way will I join a group that lovebombs its potential recruits. Jim Jones and his people did that.
  6. Green coded groups would exhibit the ability to bring people together, get awards, and do good acts of service that can be demonstrable in getting grants. Examples, Soar Youth and Adult choir, though I can’t be part of them anymore, has a good habit of inviting all manner of person to their choir. Foster kids and others share a meal, and it’s fun. I hope that someday I will go back to Soar. They’ve been instrumental in helping me realize my dream of maybe fostering and adoption. I’m not sure about that though given discrimination against blind folks in all countries, so if I did adopt, I bet it would be domestic.
  7. Green coded groups would encourage, not discourage talking to outside folks.
  8. The group with green on it would also not exhibit scandalous activity.

These databases and ideas are not meant to necessarily impede on freedom of speech, but I want to see more protections in place for former cult victims, victims of folks like the FLDS and the Amish and such. Thank you all for reading.

Beth

A World without SSI and Food Stamps: Don’t Breathe but Imagine It

Dear readers,

I was given a scenario to ponder, especially from a Pakistani immigrant from Karachi, family support and all. HE said the following, “I’d love to drop Beth off in a country where there is no SSI and food stamps.” Well, here’s what would happen if the U.S. had none of these safety nets and social programs for disabled and low income individuals.

  1. The patriarchal system of survival would set in. This would include the neglect and abortion of female babies, especially by poorer mothers, and it already happens in the third world. When a female baby is born blind, as in most of the third world she is considered useless. The mother is encouraged to “replace” her. Doctors would probably also encourage a midwife to do away with the baby in cases of vilicide and infanticide put together in a dreaded package of death.
  2. If the baby makes it past infanthood, and goes into girlhood or toddler stage, this baby would likely be malnourished, we’re talking a female blind baby, and that malnourishment would happen because the mother has to prioritize based on ableist and patriarchal values which child should get nurtured. Likely, in places of the third world, boys will be nursed to full adulthood and manhood, not girls. If the female is lucky enough to be part of a richer family, she might look forward to a negligent diet and neglected education standards such that she could not read or write, Braille being scarce as it is and all that. The female child who is blind could die before the age of five, barring diseases but mostly malnourishment. Prioritizing boys over girls would be so rampant that female babies would still bring about sorrow in these families. It already does in the Pashtun families, where the birth of a boy brings a guy to your window and a rifle is fired in celebration of his birth, but the girl brings misery and the family is blessed not with celebrations and gifts, but with only a domestic worker in their house. The girl is reared in subservience, but a blind female would be reared in death before age five, but here’s what could happen if she goes beyond five.
  3. The female third world blind kid could also look forward to a substandard of living incomparable to that of the first world. She could be sold as a sex slave in a place such as Thailand, Malaysia, or even China. She could be sold in marriage to an older groom to spell good food for the family, this including places like Somalia, parts of Africa, Saudi Arabia, all these other places too. If she didn’t die before, she may face death by childbirth pains, and if that doesn’t kill her first, the husband’s abuse could. Sight supremacy doesn’t just hurt those who are blind and without 20/20 vision. It also encourages superiority and malice of sighted males toward blind females, and blind females in the third world should watch out for men who are abrasive, angry and abusive toward the blind spouse. With an illiterate female, this potentially dangerous husband could say things like, “Don’t go outside the home. Cook, clean and sex when I say cook, clean and sex.” This is a problem magnified by the fact that the spouse being subservient in this case is a blind female. She can expect to stand about a foot shorter than her first world peers, can expect no help and guidance in employment, or perhaps she could end up on the streets like Eliza Dolittle, the My Fair Lady character, selling odds and ends, but not getting what she’s worth. Oh, a blind vendor should get what they are worth. Even males who are blind in the third world who don’t have the privilege of emigrating to the United States should expect the same outcomes if they hadn’t died before their prime.
  4. IF a female can make it past years of being pregnant, nursing, or both and many childbirths later, the same blind woman in the third world can look forward to getting sick repeatedly, not having attention she needs in the medical department, or worse, having an untold number of kids. Some women in polygamous third world society end up having something called “putting out to pasture” done to them when they are through and say they won’t give birth anymore. Women 35 and older are at this risk, and especially when they turn 45 or 50, but when menopause sets in, a guy can sit there and put her aside to make room for a young maiden he wants badly. This girl could be insipid, unwilling and uneducated like her cowives. This is a very serious problem and is why the first world has it right in banning polygamy in some areas for some reasons, but I do believe polyamorous relationships should be legal, recognized, and allowed here in the first world, especially in a line family as in the Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein, so read that book and you’ll understand what I’m saying. I wouldn’t mind sharing my partner with other women, only I should have the same freedom to share myself with other men, and of course, with the blessing of my partner, I would share myself with others freely and without any problem. I do think I’m open to polyamory, but the polygamous third world society brings wives and husbands together not based on a shared love of each other, but oftentimes you have marriages based on taking care of the less able or most vulnerable spouse or spouses. In any case, you might have for example, a husband with sixteen wives, one with five, some with six, but the Islamic limit is four. The four wives in an Islamic family don’t have a chance to spend a lot of time to themselves, they being repeatedly called to go have sex with a man who could be twice their age, a jerk, or someone who doesn’t know what to do about justice between wives. That’s a whole other topic I could get into, but Muslims who wish to have polygamous marriages should consider justice between wives, and this coming from Deq, my ex fiance.
  5. When a female who is blind reaches menopausal age in the third world, her health could decline significantly, and as with most elders, she could expect to die at some point. However, life expectancy in the third world could be between 45-60, depending on the age of the mother, social status and many other factors. IF the woman gets pneumonia, in the third world, she could easily have died. Without food stamps, she could be forced to beg on the streets, born blind or otherwise. HEr milk could go dry so her babies could die. There’s a whole lot of death involved in places where food safety and security programs are not present.

So if anyone wants to call me entitled for even suggesting food be safe to eat, think again. What programs should the third world have in its grasp? Let’s see for a few moments.

  1. First, a good country, third or first world, should have a good network of midwives, nurse midwives, OBGYN doctors, and many other good medical personnel who can tend to all women’s needs within their offices. For the blind female or the mother of someone who is blind, a good nurse midwife or OBGYN is a crucial first step. In the first world, we have programs like Medicaid, transportation being covered for doctor visits and other things, which I would use for prenatal visits. A doctor at the women’s clinic would give her patients prenatal vitamins because this is essential for a woman in any place in the world. Prenatal vitamins are a blessing, and they have folic acid, which can help prevent lots of childbirth complications, help the baby survive, and so much more. Just as a new mother should take prenatal vitamins no matter where, she should be able to see her doctor. There are spots in the world where that isn’t possible without UNICEF and other programs called nongovernmental organizations (NGO’s) which have mobile clinics, which can serve as educational hubs for females who need it. So let’s move on.
  2. Time for the ultrasonic images. When a female in the first world finds out her baby’s not going to make it, I know it may break some hearts, but at least she’d be able to have options. Abortion is for the most part the number one legal option, especially if the birth of some babies could kill a female right then and there. If I had a baby that was missing essential organs, that decision to abort would be between me, my partner, and doctors. It would be a heartbreaking decision to abort, but saving the mother’s life is a crucial thing to make a country good for kids and moms alike. IN the United States, we currently have a mindless debate going on about Roe V. Wade, the abortion decision, and we know the consequences of not having safe and legal abortion. There are countries that don’t have abortion because of religious policy, and it opens a big door to childbirth deaths among young women. In Ethiopia, for example, many young brides die from giving birth, some who survive having been a mom end up with fistula complications. This requires surgery, sometimes even a colostomy, which then results in the potential mother being fitted with a bag that drains out her wastes, both liquid and solid. There are places in Africa where rampant misuse of females as weapons of war is commonplace, so fistulas must be repaired more frequently. In the Democratic Republic of the Congo, this is the case. There is no food stamps, SSI of any kind, or even the freedom to walk down your street safely at any time of day or night. You could have been kidnapped sometime ago in Sudan by a rebel group that wanted to break it apart, based in darfor of all things. Talk to survivors of the rwandan genocide. You’ll understand more.
  3. If a female with a disability wishes to live, that’s one thing. But a good country has good food distribution, security and safety programs. IF I have a baby within the next year, since I’m a first world citizen, I have access to food and water, I have access to opportunities. I have a good mental capacity, and it’s nothing about my blindness. My blindness might have presented buriers, but not to life itself.The buriers were to things like jobs and marriage prospects, but still these buriers need to be taken down. Sighted and able bodied people have jobs, lots of jobs and opportunities to apply for such. My partner and I being blind need the protections of a blind parent bill like this one in Colorado. Colorado families with blind parents can expect a boatload of protections, and there will be protection in my home for children. IF a child is abused by a blind parent, as the NFB pamphlet on such states, then the parent is held accountable just like with sighted parents. That’s how it should be. There are many blind people in Colorado with children, and they are amazing kids. One parent has a genetic condition that her son inherited, but still, he has learned to be a better person because of his mother. The mother is particularly proud of her son for learning empathy. Should we all be learning this at some point in our lives? In the third World, this Colorado mother would have been dead by the time her baby turned four, or her baby might have died before his first birthday due to neglect, lack of education on the part of parents, or the baby might have been removed in certain places because the parents are blind or physically disabled. The first world has it right in protecting parents with disabilities, and there are ultimately lots of resources on blindness and parenting. I’m slowly getting my confidence back in the kitchen, and it’s thanks to the strength and determination and the wisdom of my blind partner in crime. I couldn’t ask for better.
  4. If you think first world people are spoiled, I’m not in the least. I know that a good country also should have laws in place protecting females if they are trafficked, married too young, and much more. In the Third World, religion takes priority and the pleasure of deities such as Allah take first and ultimate center stage. Allah says this, so a policy is put in place to acknowledge. Examples of antifem policies in third world countries include the minimum age of marriage laws being that the girl can be as young as prepubescent age like eight or nine to be considered a bride. Thankfully, in the first world, we do have laws in place but not enough. The Ayaan Hirsi Ali Foundation, the AHA Foundation, is working on political and legislative priority to end child marriage in the first world such as here in the United States. There is a rampant issue with such because of religious priorities of families, and children who are married off before the age of eighteen do not have protections such as domestic violence shelters should the older spouse be abusing her. Imagine a blind female in the third world who learns she can’t escape her abusive marriage. Not every woman or girl is lucky. One Indian able woman said that the arranged marriages in India was “state sanctioned rape.” It is, and in India, love marriages are frowned upon. Parents think they can make decisions about their child bride’s future, but this only makes things worse for her. The cycle begins again.
  5. A good country in any world should include a stellar education system, where kids are bussed to the school for free, or there is a way to transport kids in unsafe neighborhoods, and the education of all children is considered. Afghanistan banned girls from being educated beyond sixth grade, and the Taliban will only make it worse. Pakistan could end up doing so, but moreover, blasphemy laws are in place to prevent critical thinking about Islam. Why? The education of humans should include the skill known as critical thinking, and this helped me question and eventually debunk all sorts of mythical crap about Catholicism, which I was born into. Both myself and my partner are just about Atheist, but goddesses are a special thing. For me, I know the power of fellowship, prayer and thanks to some things, but I don’t think the male god in the scripture should be allowed primacy or to exist. This god is jealous, in some areas wrathful, and in other areas quite sexist. There are portions of the biblical and Qur’anic scripture that specify what a woman does, how she dresses, what she eats and what happens during her menstrual cyclees. Inheritance laws are another challenge to overcome. There is a lot to unpack here.
  6. A good country should have compulsory domestic abuse laws. The country should have safety spots for young vulnerable and elder vulnerable people so that if an elder is abused, they can be placed in a safe place. If a child’s been sexually abused, it shouldn’t be that she’s doomed to marry her rapist. She should be allowed to put justice before the man’s desires. IF a man rapes a girl, he should be punished, and the girl should be paid up for therapy and restitution should be given to her in any amount, including millions of dollars if her resulting child is special needs/disabled. The birth could be a trauma for her because she could find that her baby is the rapist’s mirror image. In some states, rapists have custody of the kid. This should never be the case, and my partner has never done this to anyone btw. He is a loving and caring personality, and all I care about is his happiness, helping him get to a point of peaceful living, helping him be a better person and father to kids one day. HE is sweet, cuddly, and has a beautiful deep laugh. I love it all.
  7. A good country has social programs for the disabled person and has ways to protect their education, welfare, and social acceptance. Haiti thinks, for example, it is unacceptable to be blind, and the white cane … or the cane we use to navigate is seen as a beggar’s badge. In many third world countries, blind people beg. It’s through no fault of their own, it is the fault of the society for not protecting blind children’s rights to education and safe housing. In Tibet and parts of africa, if my partner or I were born as we are now, the families of both of us would have tossed us into the hills to die as in ancient Sparta in Greece, and Spartan living conditions abound in Laos. I kid you not. In India, education of disabled kids is a debatable issue. Well, I’m here to say that education is and should never be up for debate. Neither should marriage equality, the rights of transgender youth and adults, or many other things. Human rights are not up for debate. In the third world, religion is sacrosanct and central to most laws and policies about gender roles and family life. In most Latinx countries, Mexico and Chile and others, women can’t seek abortion, but that is slowly changing. In Islamic countries, women can be hanged for having a love affair. Why are these policies allowed to exist? Because religion is so central it is sacred to those who write and craft such policy. Examples of religious zealots may include a Jordanian who was quoted in one of Hirsi Ali’s books, and he said something to the effect of, “Whether we like it or not, women are not equal to men in Islam.” I’m here to call bullshit to all political ploys to put women out of office.

Any good country should be run by people who get it. I could go into other ways countries can change, but the third world is an absolute mess when it comes to who lives and who dies, particularly when it comes to gender selection and able bodied versus disab disabled folks. Pleas stay tuned.

Beth

Why a Waiting List for Disabled Young Adults is Sabotaging Our Human Right to Shelter

Dear readers,

I know this sounds wrong, I know this might come off to some of you as entitlement, but imagine yourself a senior 62 years or older. How many places and things do you qualify for? Now, go blind and be in your young years, like 18-60, just below the senior line. How many places do you qualify for? You’re at the bottom for consideration for marriage, social status, jobs and transportation and that’s not acceptable. I was recently attacked on Facebook for begging in some people’s minds. I was literally beyond furious with a law firm that refused to represent me, and it led to one woman calling me a narcissist. First and foremost, what is narcissism? That’s for another post for another day, but the takeaway I got from most of these vehement critics is that I was “entitled” to “special treatment.” That’s not the case, not at all.

On April 19, thereabouts, my beloved Clayton Jacobs applied to be a resident here at this building, the one on West Ninth, but was met with barriers along the way. He was met with much opposition from the staff, which included but was not limited to a print or PDF image application he could not read or even render with his Voiceover or NVDA (nonvisual desktop access) screen reader. Most of my Facebook cohorts suggested a risky venture to get that done, divulge personal information to strangers. Clayton does not like to do this, and does not trust anyone to fill out papers for him which is understandable because of his upbringing, which on no uncertain terms, nobody is familiar with. LEt me give a brief backstory, and use one sentence to describe Clayton’s upbringing. It’s only one thing: toxicity but also violence. People have done violent and toxic stuff to him in the past, same with me, so we’re demanding that the building change things so we don’t have to put ourselves at risk and divulge personal information. In an age where a credit card can be compromised on the dark web, we should be prioritizing blind people’s identities and interests, including making all housing applications usable and accessible online through PDF’s that are tagged for being filled accessibly, meaning all the form fields can be rendered so you fill them out easily with a screen reader. I saw such forms for Denver’s court system when applying for a restraining order against an online frenemy. I was scared that this frenemy was gonna put me in danger by being present in Denver, spreading rumors, threatening me and my then boyfriend and congratulating him for hurting and abusing his power as a man to be insecure, impose religious sexual restrictions, and many other things. Men who do this type of thing don’t appeal to me, and that’s a whole post for a different week.

For all I’ve been through, I want to explain the reason we’re seeking front of the line preferential treatment as it were from this building.

  1. Trenton and I split amicably, and I want to ensure that both my cell is paid off, Trenton gets a pad and the mother doesn’t make him block or report my contact information.
  2. I do not see this as any less of a case, but Clayton was gentrified out of Arizona because of high housing prices, high rent from an apartment building which is fair market no assistance, and of course he’s also blind.
  3. There is a special risk for blind females, LGBTQ males and females with disabilities, and so many other groups of people who are homeless. Homelessness is not fun, and I’m not going to allow myself to be pregnant with someone’s kid other than Clayton’s, which means anyone who tries to rape, rob, steal or mug me is going to have to head for the high jump because I’m not interested in anyone else. A women’s shelter and men’s shelters are not safe places for Clayton, myself and Trenton. Clayton’s experiences as a homeless man in California have taught him a lot, and Trenton does not even deserve to be left in the dark. I may be an ex lover of his, but for you who say I’m selfish and narcissistic, go fly somewhere else because I care about Trenton’s risk of being shot, mugged or raped. Clayton has seen it all, practically, but I don’t want him to see anything detrimental to both of us. All I see in our cards is victory, and if this building case is any example of how persecuted we are as a people who are young and blind, I don’t know what else to say. This building does not administer a waiting list properly, and it prioritizes Hispanic seniors over younger blind American adults. They Bombshelled Clayton with the 3.5 year wait list, and I won’t allow them to do this because of the print and the inaccessible parts of the common areas we discovered.

Here are the highlights:

  1. We saw inaccessible buttons in the laundry room on the washers and dryers, and a very visually based machine that tells you how much you have on your laundry card. The machine pretty much is visual, not adaptable for blind people, so if a building says they’re for seniors/disabled, they must accommodate blind people. End of story. Laundry rooms like this one require the so called assistance of a sighted caregiver, and even that is not good. Only two washers work at a time, and there are many more, but the residents seem to enjoy breaking and defiling the washers and dryers. That makes it hard for people like my caregiver April to do her job. People need to respect all property on the premises.
  2. We discovered inconsistent locker labeling, some keys weren’t also labeled, and there are a lot of things about the mailboxes I could say that wouldn’t look too good in print. They’re not labeled to put it mildly.
  3. The vending machine things aren’t labeled, and they need to be because let’s face it. Blind people see the vending machine, or they hear it if you want to be so politically correct, and the machines just have blank buttons on them, plus sometimes you don’t know if a product is sold out or the thing is empty. Shame on the building for doing this.
  4. Pertinent information such as lease agreements, papers related to important news about building stuff and the calendar must be made accessible. They aren’t. The building’s excuse? “We have to print the stuff in nine languages.” I call bullshit. I call serious bullshit because bullshit is as bullshit does, and there is technology that can enable you to change languages and scripts so easily, plus Braille is though a loud thing to print out, it is still doable with the writing programs and transcribing things like Duxbury for example. There are tons of transcription softwares available for Braille and yet nobody cares. Well, blind people need to learn Braille anyway, and deafblind people need access too. The blind and the deaf/blind need to be able to have independent lives, and the community unfortunately is responsible for this. Why? Because the sighted and able community has set up a world that doesn’t like or care about blindness or deafness or both in combination.

How do we expect to do things? Well, here’s what we are doing now.

I’m fixing to apply for more creative writing jobs, but music lessons require a Bachelor’s, which for me has been a barrier because of blindness and people’s misunderstanding of such. Blindness is a sensory disability, and let me tell you it’s been a rough road for nearly 36 years. Blindness in the skills terms is the use of nonvisual techniques to achieve the same thing as a sighted person, but the kicker is that society is sight supremacist. How is it, you ask? LEt’s take a look.

First, the minute you’re born. When Clayton and I were each born in places like Iowa and Florida, the docs told our mothers differing things, but I clearly remember my mother telling me what her OBGYN said, or was it her obstetrician? He said clearly, “She will not get a driver’s license.” That was the beginning of my mother’s furious wrath about me being blind. Clayton’s mother might have heard a similar thing, but what doctors do in the pattern of dissing disability is simple. They tell you to put the kid away in a box and forget the child, have another to replace them. This happens to a variety of kids, including blind and intellectually disabled people. 80% of Down’s Syndrome babies are aborted through the use of prenatal testing every year, and people get the wrong impressoin of disabled infants and childcare for those people. Down’s babies and children need special consideration for all kinds of aspects, but blindness being the most biblically feared makes doctors do a double take. Both mine and Clayton’s blindness conditions were from birth, but both of us got blind in different ways. My mother had Rubella syndrome, but Clayton once said something about genetics, but what are the chances of us having blind kids? We could keep going but it would lead down a strange path.

The minute you enter school, there are barriers everywhere. Clayton’s and my lives were very different, but still almost similar. My mother didn’t know how to bring up a blind female child, and she abused me because she didn’t want an illegitimate child out of wedlock. Clayton’s mom and dad had two more kids, a boy and later a girl. I had two brothers to contend with. While we both had issues with siblings, mostly because they got all the gold and attention, we had far different experiences when it came to violence and how each family unit dealt with it. While my parents kept on rewarding my brothers for hurting me, only to stop when I kept telling them it was unfair what they did for them versus me, Clayton’s parental units rewarded violence and anger out of his brother, as if to say, “Okay, go ahead and kill your brother.” It was as if the violence in his own family was a game to get rid of the most vulnerable person in the house, and for a variety of reasons, the brother went on to become a criminal in a prison system. Clayton lives now with all the anger and hurt inside, and it comes out sometimes, but it’s not necessarily his fault. I try to be there, but it’s tough sometimes. I love him so much, and I see good in him a lot, that good being the tender way he embraces me, kisses, and whatever else he does. I won’t go into it here.

AS for both our educations, they were hampered by teachers. My teacher of the visually impaired, while I had a long relationship with her, was stupid enough to tell strangers about my love life. Clayton had a variety of personalities and TVI’s to work with. There is a TVI shortage, so if anyone wants to be one, just learn Braille and cane skills too, and close your eyes and try to live as we do every day. I had good cane instructors, but I was experiencing a lot of emotional abuse at home. Clayton’s abuse might have looked a bit or a lot worse, but abuse is abuse no matter what the cause. Most disabled children experience one or more forms of abuse, especially female children around the world. Disabled females seem to be undesired all over the globe, especially in the third world, but it doesn’t get much better in the United States and first world countries. For instance, the Braille literacy rate among blind people is now 7%, according to some new study Clayton pulled out. Not shocking, it was 10% in my youth. 7 is unacceptable, only 3 out of 10 blind children are taught Braille by a properly certified TVI, teacher of the visually impaired. Clayton and I are the lucky few blind adults who read Braille, which was invented by a twelve-year-old French boy in a blindness school, but was vehemently opposed by his French school directors for the reason that the directors wanted the students at that school to be so heavily dependent on them. Sight supremacy at its finest occurred in this school back in the day. We would visit French monuments, including the blind school in France, where Braille was invented, but what I want to really do is visit Notre Dame, listen to the sounds of a pipe organ, hear the bells peeling the vespers and evening mass or something, but that doesn’t mean I’m discounting blind schools. They might have restrictions on visitors. Foreign visitors might be intimidating, but if I spoke French, I might have the ability to persuade the heads up that I can visit the spot and learn about the history of braille. Louis Braille invented this writing system, yet only 7% of the blind read it all the time.

When you leave school, you get seriously destroyed in college. Both Clayton and myself are college dropouts, neither of us has a Bachelor’s, but I have an Associates of Arts degree, which Clayton said was more than he could get. That AA is going to serve me in some areas, but Bachelor’s degrees are required for so many things. I can’t get the Bachelor’s however because of general education requirements that may have visual things to fix. In Clayton’s case, community college and universities refused him, didn’t accommodate, or flat out violated his right to get the degree of choice, and left him with so much debt. I won’t go into detail here, but for me, that debt was there nonetheless, but debt collectors met me on the phone and said to me to pay up, but I said, I don’t have any resources and won’t enrich those who threaten or harass other people for a living. I ended blocking university style debt collections agencies instead of answering the phone anymore. Clayton was still required to pay back his debt, which is hampering him from doing other things he wants to do with his life, things like provide for his partners or buy a home for himself and anyone else who cares to say they love and appreciate him. I do, of course. I have possibly got a credit freeze, and this is because of my parents or someone hiding information about me from credit bureaus. I don’t know if this is sert in stone but that’s one possible reason I can’t use credit apps and such, can’t get a credit score in Braille because I have zero. At least I don’t use credit careds, but I need to be able to build credit. Most disabled teenagers and adults don’t even know the first thing about finance or credit, and most apartments are requiring credit checks and so on. This makes it an affront to blind and disabled young adults. We need shelter, and without credit checks, we’d be better off.

Now, when you marry, you lose benefits. Blind people should not lose anything for loving another, and to love another is the greatest feeling in the world. Clayton’s marriages ended but the takeaway is that divorces are not pretty, benefits and SSI is cut, and the women he married expected him to get a job, any job. For me, the man has to do honest work, legitimate work at home jobs included. Clayton has had some work experience, has an excellent work ethic, and gets stuff done. He recently laid out a beat for a song he composed, and he’s bound to get an album full of songs done under his stage name, esoteric Quality. I love his music, and some of you may say nay to his stuff, but his stuff speaks truths no rapper dares venture into. NOt even Dr. Dre or Snoop Dogg gets into things like blindness and the struggles of a disabled or blind man. I do want to confess his latest track, Conniving Mastermind, is a gem. When thousands of years pass, and both clay and myself are dead and buried, I want that track to be considered a classic alongside Tupak and Biggie and all the other rappers who are either dead or gone in a time gone by. Rap and hip hop is one way Clayton has found helps with his coping skills, and I’m proud of him for writing the lyrics he does, but here’s the kicker. Both of us have similar experiences with psych wards and psychological care. What some people don’t understand is that rap and hip hop artists are not psychologically unstable people. Tupak was a great rapper, so was DMX, so was the Notorious B.I.G. Esoteric Quality will go down in history as someone who’s trying to wake up the world with his music, and I love what he’s doing because having your independence or writing rap lyrics are no justification to put someone in psychological confinement, and that’s what happened to each of us. I want to say the therapists at Wuesthoff Hospital in Melbourne, Florida should have taken a closer look at the guardianship and realized my parents were abusing me with it. Clayton got his wish from what I can see about his rap lyrics, but not without a school reprimand which was unreasonable and so on. I also wasn’t allowed to socialize with my class on a Disney or Universal Studios theme park trip. Clayton got no walk across the stage at high school graduation. It always saddens me when I try to think of what our children’s future will be, Clayton having to tell this part of the story. Some disabled people don’t even get to walk because they are on special diploma and have bad grades. Exceptional education students oftentimes have to stay till they turn 21, colleges refusing to accept them.

Some kids get married out of high school, and others college. When a blind person tries to start life out, housing is difficult to find, wait lists abound, and we have no choice but to live with Mommy and Daddy, but in our case, we fully refuse to do so because of abuses. Clayton’s and my parental units do not deserve access to their grandchildren from us, which we agreed on, and my parents don’t deserve a daughter if they can’t treat my rights and my finances and yes, my person, with respect. They did none of that. Allowing a violent sibling to rape, rob and abuse the blind person is not being nice and not contributing positively to that person’s upbringing. Moving on.

While seniors can apply for untold numbers of services, blind adults are left isolated and alone, some committing serious suicide, some crimes. It has become apparent that the National Federation of the Blind is untrustworthy because of sexual abuse scandals that rocked the organization’s training centers. It is not safe for anyone to attend Ruston, Littleton’s or Minneapolis’s training centers because the staff and students need to relearn boundaries and proper relating to each other. End of story.

As for the entitlement, we’ve fought all our lives for existence. I have to fight for existence that is more peaceful, including the right to vote, marry and love the man or woman I deserve and the right to be respected. I have a right to being included in all decisions pertaining to myself, including about where I live, in whom I should trust and with whom I have intimacy. End of discussion. My rights are mine, not up for debate. Entitlement is a dangerous thing to think about disabled people. With the rampant abuse of disabled males and females, there are other people to consider.

First off, I want to consider what happens in disaster circumstances like the pandemic. Clayton and I need to be given material that helps us foster our independence, not forces us out of activities and isolates us. I was forced out of DWC and Soar because of rides and illegitimacy of any request for such. Soar wanted $5 of my wallet, but that ain’t happening. It’s not contributive to my survival at this point, and it’s not contributing to my self care. I’ll do a post on self care and what that means later.

For jobs, I want to tell you I applied for two jobs, and I’m applying for more, but they’re in creative writing. I might be a ghost writer for some random company. I don’t quite know, but it’s a romance sample they want, and that’s what they’ll get.

However, the process by which most applications work is sickening to say it mildly. Clayton can’t readily apply to just any job because it has to match skills and requirements, some including that you need a driver’s license. Even if the job doesn’t need driving, this piece is designed to wipe out disabled applicants for such. This must stop.

If no one is willing to hire blind people, that is why the so called entitlement should exist, and should be considered more than that of seniors and sighted supremacists. In fact, a white supremacist who shot up a supermarket was glorified by not only the fact that someone liked his manifesto, but that someone had the guts to say he was mentally ill, but I’ll give Jason Black credit for saying he knew what he was doing. He’s right. Sight supremacy is dangerous, and this housing crisis spells out why.

So we filed complaints with HUD and the CCRD, Colorado Civil Rights Division, and we got almost a slow as sugar molasses response from different people, but we’re chugging along.

Thank you guys for reading, and please feel free to engage in the comments.

Beth

My Moment of Triumph

Dear readers,

I did a thing today. I want to say this blog is going to make me a famous writer, perhaps. I applied for a writing job, but couldn’t get the lessons job, and most of the teachers jobs require a B.M.E. or Bachelor’s of Arts (B.A.) in music education or equivalent work experience. Under no circumstances am I going back to college. Here’s a few things I want to say about college:

1. It’s a waste of money, and you have to pretty much have no life but the homework, and it’s rare you get a professor who actually gets it.

2. There is no way in Hell I’m going to FSU or any college in Florida, and if I do college, maybe it should be in writing. Creative writing would be great, and I could try my hand at writing poetry and fantasy or romance. Or both fantasy and romance, but I want to write prose so bad.

3. IF I get this job, part time, yes, but it will help me in the end to support myself with the profits. I have needed any incentive to even get a job, but jobs that require me to move around and travel might have a blindness liability attached, and it’s not my fault. The lessons jobs were all like, “You have to be willing to travel to homes.” Well, some homes are outside the horrific and much needs to be done RTD bus system here in Denver. So public transport is not an option in some areas, but luckily, there’s more.I just want to say that Clayton may try to clean up the public transport system, make it more reliable, and all of that.

Another thing, I hope the attorney at Colorado Legal Services sees something in the attachments I sent her. It’s a woman, but yeah. I want to thank my good buddy Stephanie for recommending that job listing, and I want to thank my beloved Clayton for at least believing in me when nobody else does. I also want to announce that I’ll be promoting my Tee Spring store, but I have at least one thing to do. I need to take a selfie of me or a head shot of me in my crown, and put those on my phone cases, T-shirts, mugs, and a 16 oz pint glass. Now I’m gonna probably watch Titanic, I’m kinda out of it. We’re all out of it.

Beth

Reenabling comments with conditions

Dear readers,

As much of this blog from a period of time has had zero in the way of engagement, I reenabled comments, but I have conditions on doing so. One, no trolling. Two, no pro guardianship or anti blind ableist comments allowed. Three, anything sexual other than that posed by my partner is not allowed. Not unless you wanna play around, and you can get here by airplane.

I’d like to say I really can’t delete my facebook page because of the presence I have on a podcast space on Twitter. It’s complicated, but I’d like to point to one problem. People have called me entitled and bratty for all the wrong reasons. You guys really need to look in the mirror and see where you went wrong. I’m talking to the thousands of blind folks on Facebook who flat out troll and sit there and blast me for being entitled, incapable, bratty, etc. This will stop, and in comments here, I won’t accept it. So here are the rules for writing comments in the blog and these are not only the rules, but they are mandatory.

  1. absolutely no person shall write ableist commentary on here. You can’t write things about someone who is disabled and that offends the disabled community.
  2. No trolling comments are allowed.
  3. Anyone who reportedly says that I should be under someone else’s ownership, which is what guardianship is, will be blacklisted.
  4. Anyone who says I’m incapable and can’t do things will also be blacklisted.
  5. Any prior blacklisting folks will not be unblacklisted.
  6. No person shall write racist comments or those supporting one religion over others, including but not limited to Christianity.
  7. No person shall quote scripture to perform an act of spiritual abuse on my blog. Such comments, and likewise the commentator, will be blacklisted.
  8. No person shall threaten someone else in the comments, and the comments will only be here to engage in a dialogue about the subject matter in which the blog post is written about. Whatever.

IF anyone has any questions or comments, please feel free to write them here, but follow the rules. I’m going to follow these rules to the tee because my safety and the safety of my fans is the number one priority.

Beth

Why I Will be Leaving Facebook

Dear readers,

Many of you have subscribed to my blog on Facebook, and for this I thank you all. I’d like to talk about what’s going on in my world as of late.

One, Clayton Jacobs deleted his Facebook page because nobody cared one way or another about his requests for help, and all requests for help went unanswered. Recently, an ID went missing of his, and he needed it, but the trouble is that Arizona will take its sweet old time mailing him an ID. Not good. Also, we’re running into problems with people calling me out as a poor pity blind bitch, and that has to stop right now. First off, when I ask for money, I expect no criminal mischief record on my papers. A woman in my chorus I tried to ask about this with told me not to ask for money, suggested my boyfriend was a troll, using me to solve his problems, blah blah blah. Can I get a Hell no to the Denver Women’s Chorus for being elitist and hogging the wealth that I as a severely impoverished person have to deal with every single day and every hour? What’s it like to live on SSI and have to deal with wait lists, and we’re not dealing with wait lists for housing.

There’s one reason I’m deleting my Facebook and that’s three letters: N, F, B. Clayton is the only reason I would have kept it but he’s with me now, and I’m sick of all the unsupportive dramatic issues with family, and I’m also changing bank accounts because I do not want my Dad on my bank account, no representative payee for me. Anyone who suggests that should take their attitude and check it at the door. I expect expectations, sure, but sometimes you’re just too uppity, if you are a blind person with a family who loves and supports you. Guess what? My family is semi white supremacist, and I’ve got evidence of such.

So here’s the thing about me and Facebook. The big problem with Facebook is the toxicity and sensitivity of the communities at large, and people are going to expect Clay’s wedding pics to come up, but no, they won’t. My beloved Clayton will have all his share of love and devotion, trust me, I’m loyal to Clayton, and the people who are not loyal need to understand why we are deleting our Facebook pages. Here’s my side of why I’m deleting mine.

  1. Jason Owens was a monstrosity and attacked some of my friends, if not most of those believed to be weak and further permanently disabled. Jason might have met me on Skype, but he’s one damn person I don’t want to be around.
  2. Death threats because of this blog, Facebook posts, and other things. I had a friend for eleven years orchestrate a death threat via some Karen from Avilar, and she threatened me with pain, death, all that. I do not want people such as her chasing me down.
  3. I’m deleting Facebook because why bother posting anything if people are going to criminalize asking for money, reaching out for help, fundraising for a wedding or honeymoon, and many other things? Why Why bother? If you read this blog, I had many wonderful opportunities and ideas, but trust me, it’s going to be harder without Facebook, but it will be easier as time goes.
  4. There are people who have accused me of asking for pity pittances. Well, as punishment, I’d like to charge an exorbitant fee for any obvious abuses, i.e. “Stop being the poor pitiful blind person.” That is not my intent, and I’m done with this. Poor pity blind people are those who are elitist, white supremacist, and above all, dependent on family for support and so on. Humans being social creatures isn’t enough of a reason to keep Facebook. Blind community members are toxic, very very toxic and stupid. Most of them are, and I’ve had my share blocked. Let’s look at some.
  5. Two words about me were spoken by a guy in Grand Junction, no, three words. “You are incompetent.” “You are incapable.” This bastard probably committed domestic violence on his ex, the one he had the kids with, all that and I should have seen the red flags altogether. Clayton owns up to his wrongs and does the sentences prescribed, but he does not abuse me. I’m too valuable a person for him to throw aside, and he wouldn’t do that. Not even if I was a piece of trash, and I mean white trash.
  6. Here’s a reason I will delete Facebook summed up in a few sentences, but here’s a simple one. Too many people support guardianship, too many blind people support little old Beth Taurasi being under guardianship, and Clayton knows this. You all are about two steps away from seeing an empty slot where I once stood on Facebook.
  7. Another reason I want to delete Facebook? The criminalization of my asking for help, companionship, and company. I’m gonna call out a few different folks, and please note, it has nothing to do whatsoever with being any member of a minority protected class. Even minorities in protected groups i.e. LGBTQIA+ and Jewish folks and others are putting the blind people at the very very bottom of the barrel because we’re blind. Karen, a woman in the Denver Women’s Chorus, is not someone I would recommend asking for any favors, even those that are nonmonetary. I can’t even ask a favor of anyone in that whole group. Christine, while a loving grandmother, has called me out for being “entitled.” If she wants to read this blog, fine with me. But she needs to understand that blind people are at the super bottom of the pot as far as consideration for jobs, housing, and marriage and social things. People such as this girl called Chantal spread things about me that should have been between me and her.
  8. People think I am unstable, crazy, and other stigmatizing words having to do with mental illness. Well, to those who want to keep saying I’m crazy, stop it. Try going to a mental health institute or mental health treatment center, try going to a homeless shelter, try all of these things and you’ll see what I mean.
  9. There are too. many posts dealing with God and Jesus, religious bullshit that doesn’t apply to me anymore. I’d be damned if anyone even tells me being with Clayton is a sin. Guess what? Your calling me out as a whorish slut is a grave violation of my personal boundaries. So there you have it.
  10. Two words: Joey Hagemeier. HE could follow you around anywhere, and I have nothing against Korean adoption, blind people, etc. But I do have something against the three week dating period Joey and I had. He is bad news, doesn’t get it, and won’t be allowed back on a new FB page.

IF anyone has any objections to me leaving FB, please email me at denverqueen@gmx.com and do the right thing. Tell me about something that doesn’t have any connotations about winning or losing. Haters, you all will burn in Hell for how you treat Clayton and I. You haters will all have to pay a price for telling me I can’t reach out for help. Pay the piper or the piper pays nobody. Do you remember the story of the Pied Piper in Hamlin? Remember the rats? IF you want someone to clean up the rats and infestations of any kind of rodent, insect, or bird from your people’s property, you fucking pay the piper. I mean it, three words: Pay, The, Piper. IF you do not pay the piper, you will lose things most dear to you. I don’t care if you lose kids, dogs, your favorite book. Pay the piper.

Beth

Tribute to Ray Khan

Author’s Note: The following contains some references to drugs and rehab, mental health issues, sometimes even guardianship abuse. Reader discretion is advised. Also, this is a sort of tributary note to Raymond Khan, a young man I knew from way back in 2006, both of us were jailed, sort of, in rehab. LaAmistad should be ashamed of itself for its ableist and controlling approach to rehabilitating substance and non substance use peoples with mental illness. You put up a big fight with me about relationships, and I need to be able to forge connections, not forget them. I want to say a few words I should’ve said to Ray, and I want him to know that things are going good, but without further adieu, here it is.

Dear Ray,

Things have been crazy since you last saw me. I think about you sometimes, although the times I thought of you were very hard ones. When I thought of how you almost lost yourself to crystal meth, how you almost killed yourself a few times, maybe more, my heart went and stopped in the middle of everything. Ray, you really are someone I cared about in 2006, and yet a piece of you stays with me every day. I have at least a few things on my mind I wanted to straighten up with you.

First, I should have never been forced to end relationships and not forge a connection with you. I loved you, and what any nurse or doctor should know is that forging connections helps and stabilizes an individual’s treatment by a long shot. Undoing all the person’s health and well being by disconnecting them from everybody in the world doesn’t help. Ray, I loved you dearly, but I tell you, I have a partner and a good life ahead of me. The guardianship’s been discharged, and you can tell everybody that you and I could have been freed from this had Florida not fucked up and gotten me in trouble at seventeen, and nobody believed that my mother was capable of slapping me in the face. I would love to charge my mom with assault if she ever pulls shit like this again, but no, I won’t. Why? Because there’s. more stuff she did that I could tell you and you wouldn’t believe me anyway.

The guardianship was abusive, I had to stay in loveless or unromantic relationships because of the possibility of being abused at home. Orien, a young man I knew in high school and who’s grown now, will not have anything to do with me. Trust me, not that way. We’re friends again on FB, but trust me on this, my parents deserve a lawsuit and jailtime for committing probate fraud. I didn’t even know what the fuck probate was, and trust me, you would think I was nuts if I told you. Guardianship is evil, it destroys families, it tears apart lives. It did so to me, and did you hear about Britney Spears? She’s out of Conservatorship.

Ray, I hope you are there somewhere in the ashes of my existence, dancing on a cloud, or perhaps you’re alive on Earth somewhere far beyond. Canada? Maybe. But have you watched what’s going on in America lately? Please tell me you’re not cooped up in some prison cell lamenting on drugs, being on drugs, etc. I wanted you to be strong and try and be someone that you can be, the best version of yourself. I cried today thinking of the stuff I should have said to you, but it got worse. When we were in the so called catapult ceremony, the one where we pass the coin and say our goodbyes to the people leaving the treatment center, I was a wreck. You remember right? I told you I’d be the lead actress in your movies, whatever they were to be. Ray, I tell you, I felt the whole time that I was not the lead actress in my own story, not until recently. Ray, if I could only tell you that Clayton Jacobs, the man I call my boyfriend, is the best supporting actor in my story. HE gets the Oscar nod and perhaps he wins Best Supporting Actor in. my personal story. Why? Because Clayton heard your name and your story from my lips, and he understands greatly. Clayton has held me while I cried, kissed me when I was sad or happy, and has made love to me through all kinds of stuff. We’d always had each other’s backs, even through some rough stuff we both had to deal with. Ray, we’re coming up on some currents in our lives, Clayton and myself, and trust me, I am always the lead actress in my personal story now. I changed my bank account, I changed my direct deposit amounts and info on it, and my dad will soon have to close the account. I’m not going to have him sit there and say he can have his name on my account, which he will no longer do. My mother and dad think they can tell me who to be with, but because the guardianship was abusive, I had it discharged. My parents woke up only halfway. They won’t define the guardianship as abusive, wrong, and fraudulent. Probate fraud should and will always be one day against the law, but I want guardianship to be a federal goddamn crime. Why? Because it tears apart families, rips people’s lives to shreds, and for disabled women, sometimes we have to sterilize because in the minds of the government, we are less than, inferior. Ray, I’m sorry to say you weren’t the love of my life, and I didn’t exactly get the chance to give you the flower of my virginity. I don’t care. What virginity?

It started with a Dallas, Texas convention I was coerced into attending by the center in Littleton, Colorado Center for the Blind, and they required everybody to fly to Texas for this stupid conference while you had National Federation of the Blind (NFB) people sitting there praising the god of their own, Kenneth Jernigan. It was a motley crew of idolatry, sexual misconduct, and more. I lost my virginity to Deq Ahmed and Mosamil Yahya or someone like that, but we’ve had to mull over such things. Clayton would never have cared, at least, that I had to break it off with Deq Ahmed because his clan and family didn’t approve of him marrying a blind American woman. I would have argued that the clan had no right to Deq because of blindness and because such honor is antique. No, the word here is antiquated. I would suggest at a clan meeting that we move forward and modernize and recognize the right to choose one’s own mate. Period, point blank, end of story!

Ray, when I was with a man named Jason, the whole time things just didn’t work. Jason was abusive, and he was pro on the case of my guardianship, he wanted to say I needed it. What a very inglorious bastard. He liked the reactions of folks when he said, “You’ve signed your death warrant for being friends with Beth Taurasi.” I call bullshit. Death warrants are for murderers, Aileen Wuornos included, or perhaps Ted Bundy. But not me, I didn’t kill anyone, I didn’t do it, and if I did, it was an accident. I have no capacity to see where I’m aiming that stupid gun, and where I’m going to aim it is anyone’s guess. Jason had almost killed my friend Trenton’s current girlfriend, and furthermore, Jason wishes all his exes dead. Oh wait, Jennifer died. I can’t believe she did, and that bastard wants me to forgive him? I can’t forgive myself for even loving the guy. But thinking back, Jason was a big turning point into why I hate almost 80% of guys, not all guys, but I kinda don’t like a lot of them. IF a guy suggests that a woman’s place is beneath him, where she submits, etc, he isn’t for me.

When I dated Blake, things got hairy. His mom said I was “psycho” and should not date Blake. Blake lost his brother to gun violence, of course, but I’m not a fan of the woman who did it, although in some ways gun control might have stopped the murderer from ending the brother’s life, and the mother blames me? She didn’t have to blame me, she didn’t have to justify Clara Deitz dating Blake for the short time she did, and the impression was fake. All of it, fake. Clara should not have broken Blake’s heart in front of the world, and she did. Blake I wish as punishment should “take a wife of whoredom” as in the Bible, Gomer was a whore who went with Hosea, her husband, even when she was being bargained for and such. Hosea brought her back, but they had two kids together, I forget the names. But if Blake wants to try and mess my life up he can’t. Our friendship is rocky because of his mother’s prejudice against psychological diagnostics, and she doesn’t realize I have PTSD. Not quite as bad as a guy Blake knows, but not as bad as my cousin, Robert Zemcik, a veteran in the army who’s survived many many occasions I can’t go into. Zemcik’s experiences in the army should not be forgotten, and neither should those of other vets, Afghanistan and Iraq war vets included. I donated money to the wounded Warrior Project years after Blake’s breakup, but alas, I don’t know where it all went.

Trenton is my current latest ex, after Joey who was a bad boy. Joey tried to mess with me, tried to egg me on, and a troll tried to fuck with me while I was just getting started with Trenton. I was frequently accused of whoring around, told to get a proper marriage, all that. But now, Clayton is probably the only man I could say is doing it right. I can’t believe he would know me for five years, would let me into his life, would hold me the way he did, and would make love to me the way he did. Ray, if you only saw my face when I found Clay at the airport, I was overjoyed. He was sitting there waiting for me, and I ran forward to give him a big giant hug. I wanted to love him right there. We got back to his place, and lo and behold, his hips got close to mine, and his face. Oh, his beautiful face. Ray, Clayton can’t see as I don’t, but trust me on this, he is a good man. Clayton treats me like a beautiful queen, honors me the way men should honor the women in their lives, and in turn, I want to do nothing more than honor him. Like in Gladiator, I will honor Clayton, and because he’s honored me, I will do what is right. I’m behind him 100% of the time, and trust me, he is for me as well. Ray, if you only knew.

IF you only knew the way things were back in the day. I still can’t get a job, can’t do things without verification, oh so they wanna believe I’m not who I say I am? Bullshit. I am Beth, the girl you once knew, and I hope you will always remember me. I hope you will remember me, and it is because I remember you that I can’t forget. I can’t forget the time we were walking around, and we kissed somewhere outside of staff eyes. All this and other bullshit, I just wanted to kiss you again. YOu really do have a lot to offer someone, and I hope you found a beautiful pair of lips to kiss, arms that will hold you, and a pair of eyes to stare into. My eyes, god forsake me, are blind. You never understood. You never wanted these eyes. These eyes cried for you, and my heart beats every day regretfully for all the times you had to stay ten feet away. I’m done, I’m done trying to cry over this spilled milk. I love you dearly. I don’t know what to say. But Clayton is my true love, not you, because you don’t seem to get it. Ray, my pain is great, but my heart soldiered on for years knowing you were out there somewhere.

Ray, if there’s one thing I should have said to you, it was this. Clayton is the right man for this undertaking of loving me because he’s blind, has the same eye condition, and we’re on the run with all the love we have in our hearts. We love one another with such passion it isn’t funny. Ray, contact me if you dare. If you read this, you will be rewarded for your trouble. The water of time may stand between us, but for Clayton, he has ferried himself over the waters of space to me, and has offered me his heart. Ray, this truly isn’t goodbye, not forever. It is a new beginning. Perhaps you will understand if you see this blog and understand what kind of person I am.

Sincerely,

Beth Taurasi

Full Review of the Handmaid’s Tale

Dear Readers,

First of all, content warning, spoilers for the Handmaid’s Tale, all four seasons. I’m writing this as a true tribute to the show that started it all on the Hulu platform, made it possible for change, and opened many an eye to antifeminist belief. While some of us think the Handmaid’s Tale is a bit extreme, and some of us read the book, the Hulu show is worth a watch. I’d give it a five stars, so let’s get started on the meat and potato of this thing.

Elizabeth Moss plays June Osbourne, who is by this time a victim of the Sons of Jacob, one could call these nasty vile commanders the sons of religiosity extreme comparative of the Ku Klux Klan. These men believe that impregnating superior women with superior sperm cells is their mission, so what do they do? LEt’s look at the backstory and I’ll explain.

June Osbourne sees her rights deteriorate little by little, first noticeably at work, then at home. Home is where women are confined, and then she tries to buy something at a mart, only to have her card rejected. Again and again, her card is declined. Ugh. So, here’s where it begins and where it all becomes logic. A pimply faced young man is working the counter, another man calls June and her friend Moira “sluts” and “whores.” Then it becomes obvious when all the girls are fixed with an order to be “reeducated” by the aunts, Aunt Lydia among them. Anne Doud plays Aunt Lydia so well you would have thought she was a bitch, which she does act like one quite a bit. Aunt Lydia does a number of atrocities against the women, particularly Alma, because Alma is disobedient, and so she burns Alma’s hand in one scene. Oh, and disclaimer: I’m not using the women’s Handmaid identifying names such as ofFred, ofRobert, or ofTim. It would be highly disrespectful of the women themselves to use such things.

From the moment Fred strikes his will on June, lovelessly thrusting into her to the moment you see Fred literally drop dead in a ravine, then hang from a makeshift wall with Latin phrases beneath his body, the whole show is a test of one’s mental ability to withstand things. One of the hardest things to process was Season 1, especially when Emily, who went by ofGlenn and ofSteven, well, Emily also went by ofJoseph, but again, let’s use her birth name, she lost her beloved who was a Martha, and that Martha was hanged by a noose on a crane. The poor woman was hanged for being in a relationship with Emily, and I don’t know that woman’s name, but Emily got her clitoris cut off, a practice that you would think had been banned by now, but apparently, not.

Another intriguing thing about the Handmaid’s Tale is the way they celebrate birthdays. Little Angela, a baby begat by such loveless sexual intercourse, and who was taken by Naomi Putnam, this little girl can look forward to a life of no reading, no writing, like nothing else matters to her education but coloring books and knowing how to please a man. Her handmaid mother is forbidden to see her after Angela is weaned, and Warren Putnam, the commander who fathers her, obviously doesn’t get it. He ogled a few girls in this show, namely June Osbourne. The handmaid in question was Janine. Janine, who became a fugitive and was captured in Chicago, that girl had obviously been a pet to the aunts, and was deemed a slut if she didn’t say it was her fault she was raped and how she supposedly played on and led on the boys to do it by her looks. This is a long dead thing in our reality. So one would think.

One of my favorite Handmaid’s Tale seasons happens to be the last season, season 4. We start out by seeing June become a real rebel, and she totally subverts the system, and later she sees Luke and Moira carry her across the sea to Canada. Yes, did I say spoilers? Yes, I meant spoilers. One of my favorite scenes in Season 4 was the last few in the last episode, and it is obvious why. Fred Waterford and his narcissistic Christian wife, Serena Joy, are on trial for rape and for stealing a baby. Sound familiar? Serena passes off Baby Nicole as her own, even if the biological father is not Fred Waterford. Later it is revealed that the Waterfords committed war crimes for real. The American agent arrests Fred but the girls have an idea. First off, they know how to do a particicution, which is a system where the handmaids tear apart a guy for doing bad things. What bad things, you might ask? The bad things may include something like rape, touching a girl even in the wrong sense, child molestation, and many other crimes. Particicutions are done like this: the handmaids act all rabid and such at the sound of a whistle, and the guy is not to be left untouched, and all his limbs and genitals are torn apart. Well, that’s exactly what happens to Fred Waterford, but his makeshift wall is not coated with a symbol such as a triangle for being gay or a cross for being a priest, but a Latin phrase is written beneath Fred’s hanging corpse. It is satisfying to know that Fred and Serena are not only apart, but Serena gets herself pregnant by a donor’s sperm, further proof that Fred is a sterile man and can’t have kids. Serena Joy is a narcissistic woman in a lot of ways, including but not limited to wanting a baby so bad she’d change a country’s laws to get that done. She had written books, one being A Woman’s Place, but the Sons of Jacob decide that women can’t read or write. This is so antifem and puritan in nature that one would think that women are just the vessels for the Sons of Jacob.

Now, imagine for a moment that the Handmaid’s Tale was real. It isn’t too hard to do actually. Afghanistan is a true form of Gilead, and there are places in Europe deemed “no go” zones because of Islamic asylum seeker males harassing women, raping them, and doing general bad things that intimidate them into silence and freedoms are restricted for them. Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s book Prey describes so much of this, and even has references to “The Road to Gilead” at the conclusion of the main text. Ms. Hirsi Ali has repeatedly warned us that extremism in Islam could lead to the loss of rights for women and girls. She’s right. However, we don’t often pay attention to the extremism in Christian senses.

There is one flaw in the Handmaid’s Tale’s philosophy. One, the Sons of Jacob are to me akin to the Taliban, who are Muslim extremists who wish to forbid girls and women from being free and able to work. Girls in the current regime are expected to be sold off to Taliban fighters as breeders, but there is no mention of the actual work of handmaids. Who are handmaids anyway?

Let’s start with the book of Genesis. The book of Genesis is law in Gilead, so let’s start with the story of Jacob and his wives, Leah and Rachel. Jacob loved Leah and Rachel, but he had a special crush on Rachel. Leah, on the other hand, fought bitterly with her sister and Jacob felt ripped off because the father of them both gave Jacob Leah first. Rachel, on the other hand, says she feels unloved. There is something that occurs when Leah and Rachel duke it out. They use the maidservants, Bilha and Zilpha, to determine the bloodlines of their sons. Leah’s and Rachel’s maids are given to Jacob to sleep with and bear his children, thus the whole justification of the use of handmaids as a surrogate for those who can’t reproduce. Now, what’s wrong with this picture?

LEt’s pretend for a moment that I couldn’t bear children. My current love, Clayton, would never think like this, but let’s just forgive him if he sees this and thinks, what??????? Here’s the skinny: so pretend I can’t have kids, and in this reality, Clayton could potentially bed a woman outside the marriage if the woman was designated “ofClayton”, a handmaid, and the sex required is loveless, feelings mute, all that. According to one essay, the sex required and ceremony as it were feels a bit kinky. I don’t think this is rather kinky, but abusive. Clayton would never actually do this, but this is how it’s set up. The ceremony requirement is law, and also has within it a reading of the selected passages from Genesis justifying the rape of the women involved. The handmaids are educated at what we call the “red centers”, the Rachel and Leah centers formally. Rachel and Leah being the wives of Jacob fighting over the number and spacing of their own children, it seems fitting to name the red centers after them. All the handmaids give up their names, and as part of the contract, they are of whichever commander is lovelessly raping them at the moment. So, that is why I refuse to use the of names for the handmaids. I only make reference to them when someone else does, or if it fits a description.

Now, the big thing about this show you want to watch out for is there is a lot of wrong in Gilead, including child and spousal and female abuse. There is plenty to worry about, but like I said, one need not look too far to find human traffickers and woman haters like those of the Taliban, and the needless destruction of women’s lives is the fault of those who didn’t stand up.

As Elie Wiezel once said in a speech, silence is complicit and allows the oppressors to keep at it. This is quite a paraphrase, but it seems that in the backstory of the Handmaid’s tale, there was quite a bit of that. Silence because of the Gilead commanders and all other oppressive persons being so intimidating is quite common in wartime periods. The Taliban successfully silenced women and those who didn’t support them, making it illegal for women to work and do things outside the home. What could happen to the United States in the current state of things?

First, look at today’s abortion laws. In the Handmaid’s Tale, you can’t abort. Period, end of story, you cannot abort a baby because it is supposedly a gift from a God. Babies, mind you they are very cute, but they come with eighteen years of responsibility that not everybody’s ready for. Now, had anyone been aborted because of blindness, I wouldn’t have known them, but I so wish selective abortion was against the law anyway because India likes to think it is making a million men by aborting females or neglecting them to death. Blind girls are especially at risk. We know that infanticide also occurs among rich Indian families, especially when a midwife is directed to kill a female and they get paid extra for doing so. In Gilead, no baby is killed for any reason, and this I can agree with to a point. Babies are beautiful gifts from the Universe and should never be returned to such unless god forbid the mother’s life and health are at risk. Example, some women at my age, which is classified advanced maternal age, have very high pressure in the blood while giving birth, and in my dear aunt Viki’s case, they are bedridden while baby is gestating. This can be dangerous, and pregnancies are becoming a lot safer to carry for these women, and in fact there are women over forty having babies, and one woman in the Carolinas had her first child at nearly or over half a century old. However, forcing all women to carry babies is tantamount to turning all of us into vessels. Women are not vessels, we have brains, and we don’t like being classified as inferior. Women do not have drastically small brains, as one stupid man likes to believe. There are men who believe women are small brained to the point where they can’t make decisions or think for themselves. Women should and will not tolerate such acts of antifem belief on the part of men who don’t get it. I respect strong men, and I don’t mind having a man to guide me through life, but the most important thing about men that all women should know is that they and I desire a coequal relationship, and Clayton and I have such a relationship and it’s beautiful. However, if something went wrong, I would not know what to do these days. I don’t plan on things going wrong, but things tend to always go wrong. For one, some men aren’t strong enough to resist the pull of someone like a mother or father telling them that a girl is poison or toxic or a player. I was recently acccused of such by my former partner’s mother and grandmother. It is obvious that Trenton is standing with me, and he said it would not be feasible for him and Mom to see one another because of the way she’s handling me. She accused me of playing Trenton, but the truth is that Clayton treats me like a woman and a queen, which is possible for all men to do, but it all depends on environment.

Let’s get back to business here.

Abortion law is trying to create Gilead within the U.S.A., but Colorado women are saying no. If my baby is truly sick, if my baby truly can’t live outside the womb, Clayton would truly understand that. Abortion is a decision that should be made between a woman, her partner if applicable, and her doctors and treatment providers especially if the woman has no support from anyone, was raped, or has psychological implications from pregnancy resulting in possible honor killing or breakdown in the sense of mental state. Some women in Muslim society don’t believe they’re pregnant, and it’s obvious they don’t understand the mechanics of sex and pregnancy because it was hidden from them by family. Again, Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Her book Nomad points to a scenario in three words: sex, money, violence. The sex part is so detailed, the details of which range from who marries who, how marriages are performed and all that to the education on sex and how it intimidated Ayaan’s mother, Asha Artan Umar. Ms. Umar was highly intimidated by Ayaan’s and Haweya’s (Ayaan’s late sister) sex education so bad that she would hit both the girls. Parents, and I am talking to all parents, always educate your kids about sex and growing up and all the good stuff, but let’s add something you might not understand. Consent.

In the Handmaid’s Tale, June is in nonconsentual sexual relations with Fred Waterford and Joseph Lawrence, two commanders in Gilead who have barren wives. For Fred, the rape seems enjoyable, and June can’t stand Serena’s evident enjoyment of pinning the poor girl down on her back. In the miniature education the aunts give the potential handmaids, they say the basics of sex, but there is no mention of consent. Now, how such things compare in reality are obvious. Consent should be a big moral framework of relationships. I consent to Clayton every time and he does the same to me, but if a man comes in and tries to kiss me inappropriately, you can bet that isn’t consensual, and consent should be the one thing that guides relationships. I consented to love Trenton, and I would consent to play with him on occasion, but I would never want to be accused of playing him once again. In the Handmaid’s Tale, girls are trained to think that the nonconsensual sex is their “job.” Imagine thinking you’re in an army or you are the shock troops that raise the birth rate. You want a baby? Okay, hire a handmaid to do the shopping and all the dirty sex work. Even in a lack of consent, the girls are required to have sex with commanders they either don’t like or don’t even trust. I can say that this will likely cause a lot of the girls, should this be reality, to have loads of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). I bet if Moira was a prison guard, I would have thought her able to cook up punishments on Fred Waterford and his delusional wife Serena. I wonder if Moira would suggest the particicution that brought Fred to a dead standstill.

IF there’s one commander I hate the most, it’s Winslow. George Winslow had his handmaid sealed by lip ring. The handmaid could not talk, she could only be fucked without consent. George Winslow is one of those commanders who comes in for inspection, and my favorite scene from season 3 was when Winslow met a very dire end. June had Winslow killed, and his body was disposed of and burned. Well, let this be a lesson to all guys who want to handle women that way. IF you’re George Winslow, you don’t get to choose whether your women talk. The women will come back and bite you in the ass.

IF there’s one commander I feel bad for, it’s Joseph Lawrence. Joseph didn’t seem to be a bad guy when Eleanor, his wife, liked both Emily and June. Joseph called June by her proper name because he actually respected her, and then he said, I was tempted by a faithless woman. the commanders tried to bomb Chicago and “give the insurgents a spanking.” This was season 4. Old Joe Lawrence was a very malleable guy however, and it took me a little bit to realize that Joe was too much. He had a resistance group in his house comprised of Marthas and Handmaids who’d had enough. I would do the same thing as Joseph, house a resistance, if I’d had enough. Believe me, the nonconsensual sex is the biggest issue I’d have in Gilead.

There’s another thing I want to point to. In season 2, Eden, who is an adolescent, is married forcefully to Nick blaine, a commander in the Gilead district. Eden however has other ideas, and is drowned for her relationship with Guardian Isaac. Both of them are thrown in the water, and they recite the biblical verses on love, which I found dramatic and rather touching. Love is not allowed in Gilead, which makes it all the worse. Eden Blaine doesn’t bear children, doesn’t have the fortitude to leave, and she is only about 13 or so when she’s married. Adolescents and theier husbands are told by the minister in Gilead, “Be fruitful and multiply.” Many evangelical Christian churches go by this and it makes me want to barf. The other phrases in genesis that are quoted have to do with women being subject to their husbands’ wishes and desires, and this gem which says, “YOu shall be subject to your husband, and he shall rule over you.” I wrote the not so flowery version of that one here. These girls are very young, perhaps 13 to 15 years of age, when they are forced to get married to these old and seasoned men. I would never want my child getting married at that age. When I was 15, for example, I was in high school, doing band and such. Marriage would require me to drop out of school, and just like that, so many child brides do. The taliban has forbidden education with any intent for girls to work. The Taliban have also probably forbidden love, they might as well have forbidden romance. All that seems to have been forbidden in extremism of any religious thinking, Islam or Christianity.

I have mixed feelings about Aunt Lydia. I also have such about one woman who died while giving birth to Commander Matthew Calhoun’s child. I do not have a name for this woman, but I dare not say the handmaid’s patriarchal “of” name again out of respect. This woman betrayed handmaids, was shot at a dedication of a red center, and furthermore, she had seizures and was kept alive until her baby was born. This woman wouldn’t have lasted, but the Calhouns had a child out of it. All the handmaids had to stay and watch and pray for this despicable woman, and I felt a bit sorry for her as her baby was removed from her body, premature and unable to feed as well as he should. Calhoun had a son.

The Handmaid’s Tale overall is a riveting roller coaster ride. I would ride it again, but it was quite long and four seasons later, the conclusion is quite satisfying. I did mention Fred dropped dead? He did indeed, in a ravine, during what you’d call a particicution style killing. The Americans and Canadians were unwilling or unable to bring Waterford to justice, so justice, as so happens to be in this case, was carried out in the best poetic way possible. I can’t fathom the Latin on the bottom of fred’s gallows, but I wonder if those gallows would be a lesson to all those who try and force girls into believing in something they don’t, and further than this, I would hope that Fred’s gallows teach all of us that no matter what a regime does to women, no matter how you try to bring a group down, love and right always win. Good and love and all the right stuff usually and about 99% of the time always always wins.

To watch the Handmaid’s Tale, if you haven’t seen it, just subscribe to Hulu for $5 a month or if you have certain deals in carrier phone plans, do use such deals and take advantage of the Disney bundle, but beware of ESPN. I hate ESPN and all things sports, namely because my family would obsess and do things and worship it.

Disclaimers are interwoven throughout this entry so taht I can readily guide my audience. Thank you for reading my blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook and Twitter.

Thank you so much to those who have supported me, including Clayton and Trenton, and all of my dear friends who say that I should take my talents far. I love you all and can’t wait to do more.

Beth

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