Casa Bonita, What Do I Expect?

Dear readers,

There are a million reasons to be excited because Casa Bonita, a very good cultural institution in Colorado, is reopening under the leadership of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the guys who do South Park. I’m thoroughly excited because South Park is the best show ever, and some of you may not like it, but they make fun of all kinds of things, including Mel Gibson, which is well deserved anyway. They make fun of every last news story, and worst for those who don’t like it, well, you know you’re famous when South Park makes fun of you. That’s just the reality of life itself in the modern age.

What do we expect from Casa Bonita? Well, I’m hoping we can see cliff divers, pirates with hot ass dread locks, and better food for all. Food is food, honestly, but I’m getting kinda hungry thinking about it. I love food, all kinds of food. Just that food is going to be a problem for us because we have a week to go and still, six little things on a card isn’t going to do much for us. However, if we could, we’d up our anti and go to Casa Bonita. This place is hot business here, and Trey and Matt know it. They bought the place out of bankruptcy and that’s the cool thing about it. IF you’re a fan of South Park, you’ll understand. Colorado has good Mexican food, I’m not gonna lie, but this Casa Bonita thing is really exciting.

So what do I plan to do about this? Well, it’s opening in December, hopefully before Christmas, so I can take someone over there. It would be awesome to go and experience the place, it will be just plain awesome. Thanks all for reading this bit of good news.

Beth

Love Letter to a Loyal Friend, and a Deep Apology

Author’s Note: it was two or three years ago, on March 13, 2019, a day I don’t even want to remember, but it was this long ago, and I was a rotten hot mess at that time, we had a blizzard. We had a huge bomb cyclone, and I remember someone with the pseudonym DJ Hey calling me up and almost, I mean almost, stealing my beloved Clayton away from me and he himself thought I was not worth speaking with. Months later, I got this admission that he had been reading my blog, which I thanked him for, and he said he had missed me. Who knew that we’d be going from almost just friends to something more? Who knew I’d be meeting him soon? Who knew! So today, I’m going to write what I want to for him, I’m going to write him a love note today. Yes, this is unexpected but sort of a shock to me that I could compose a love note at all. For a long time, I was accused of flowery words and such but this time, this is how I am feeling. This is probably going to be the best piece of prose I could possibly write. I hope you readers will understand but this is a note dedicated to my most beloved fan, and I hope you the fan who reads this will be cool enough to respond or something. I love my readers and fans, and hope you will enjoy this little bit of my feelings. Also, I want to thank my guardian angel, whatever and wherever she is, for saving this friendship turned love. Thank you.

Dearly beloved Clayton,

My love runs deep as I type this. I have up to this point never said anything horrific or cruel or even awful about you. I wouldn’t dare. Even when I said those things on April 6, 2019, that was not intended to hurt. Not to much at least. I’m still kinda upset at DJ Hey for being the kind of arrogant person she had been, not realizing how much her words hurt. I don’t want to ever see you hurt, cry, or even frown at anything that happens in your life, and you’ve done this so many times. People have refused to help you, and that hurts me too. People might have tried to kill you, and honestly, if you ever died, I would rather take your place. I’d give my whole life for you, maybe I would lie for you. Well, as long as the lies are little white lies, nothing too serious of course. I’d do anything for you, walk a thousand miles in my shoes, your shoes rather. I’d rather have been the kind of gal who walks all the way to you because it would show my dedication, and I am thoroughly dedicated. I believe in you, and as I type this, just as so happened those years ago, tears fill my eyes thinking about how much we really truly needed each other. I love you so deeply, and I enjoy our deep conversations, I want that affection too. What else can I say! You really have made every day special, and your light shines brighter than any other. Trenton is my sunlight, but you are the stars in the sky I can’t even count. Your lights are so bright but it complements everything nicely. I love how you pointed things out, but truthfully, I want to apologize if I ever ever hurt you in any way. You are someone who is very gentle, sweet, strong, transparent, honest, friendly, did I mention you are very powerful? Strong would be the word. I love you so much I could devour every part of you in the most loving way imaginable. Well, don’t think I’m a vampire who sucks blood till you’re dead. That’s not me. *laughs*

Clayton, I was looking forward to all this good in my life those years ago, but I want to make an open public apology here because you never did deserve the hurt and the words I said about the actress, the actor, and all the things I could’ve done. I could’ve easily thrown you out but you came back, and I heard a wise old woman once say, “if you love something or someone, set them free. If they’re meant for you, they’ll come back.” My love, you came back. You really have, and I want to treat you like the king you are. Darling, I’m sorry you ever endured a few hangups from me, maybe you understood me better than anyone. But I want you to understand I will never hurt you, and if I did, I’m sorry I ever did. It is with my heartfelt gratitude that I say this because I’m deeply ingratiated by your presence. You are a sweet and loving guy, strong as nails, tougher than nails, and I know you got this in the bag. But all I really want to do is love you the way I love Trenton, and many others I’ve loved, but for you, you have something that you will someday have. You will have a gift and that is me. Okay, maybe not all of me, but you’ll have all of me in the end. I want to give myself to you and if I love you too hard, please I’m also sorry I did that or do that. You are the most beautiful wild flower in the entire world, something wilder than a rose. I did mention that. I love you to the moon and back, King, and I will never stop loving you till the day my heart stops beating. You have given me so much and I don’t want to waste it. You have taught me something, and I look forward to the day when I am standing taller than anyone you and I both know. I love you too much to ever hurt you, and I promise if anyone else tries, they won’t get far. It’s hard to be mad at you, as you know full well, because you give me the kind of life that I deserve. You gave me the strength to think about doing things I should have done a long time ago. I want to one day not have to have a caregiver around for too many things, I would not have the luxury of this. I want to have a life where I do get out and do plenty of walking and running and god forbid, a bit of jogging. Maybe I should live near a convenience store, a grocery store, who cares. I’d try walking in my area, but I hate this area and it scares me a little. Maybe a lot. I hate my laundry room, there were some creepy people in there, so yeah. IF anything, you have inspired me to do better with life itself, and I will carry it with me everywhere.

Thank you so much for being as awesome and as true as you have been. If anything at all, I apologize deeply for anything that may have offended you. I don’t want to offend you in any way even by writing this. I hope and look forward to the release of your album and future projects, and I can’t wait to work closely with you on those. Beloved king, you will soon have a queen. I will never stop thinking about how lovely you are, but let’s just say you are the best friend and perhaps more than that, I can’t say right now. I love you forever and always.

Love always,

Beth

Your queen

An Open Letter

Author’s Note: The following contains some if few or some more spoilers for the Handmaid’s Tale, any season applies. This also contains some sensitive information and I hope you will read carefully.

Dear Jorge,

I’m writing this letter to you as a matter of principle. You said some pretty hurtful things about my beloved Clayton, for whom my life is going to probably revolve, I don’t quite know. Clayton has treated me with nothing but loyalty and respect, but you think you can tell me he’s the fool. Here are a few things that made me cringe when I saw your last messages to me.

  1. This is the big thing. You said Clayton gets off on the handmaid hierarchy thing, as though I am not Beth, but ofClayton. That is not true. He does not roll with commander types such as Jason or Wes or anyone else who would reportedly want to hurt me and Clayton altogether. Clayton has been nothing but a friend and a genuine caring person toward me, no hierarchy has been seen in this. What’s weird is that he caught me red handed watching the show, the handmaid’s Tale to be exact, and he asked me why I watch such things. He pointed to my own mental health, I just have to say this. It’s a warning, it’s a foreshadowing of what could be to come if we all don’t stand up and shout back at the commander types, the white supremacists, and the fools who don’t see the truth in all this. I watched a documentary about Atwood, Margaret Atwood, the book’s author, and she did lots of homework before she wrote the first words in the book. As any author should do the same. IF it weren’t for folks like Atwood, I don’t know where we’d be.
  2. You say that Clayton is a fool, but he said you were the fool. You dudes better stay away from each other, I guess. My brothers would have killed each other in their bunks, but this kind of fighting is worse. I don’t like a lot of conflict.
  3. You say I’ll have a right to die on a hill. Well, at least my name is my name, my body is mine, and if I give this thing a name, the name is assigned at birth and such. My name is Elizabeth Ann Taurasi, it will never become Mrs. Steven Rudy, get the song reference.
  4. You ditched my commitment ceremony with Trenton, which makes me so sick. Why you did this, I’ll never fucking understand. Don’t ditch your friends when you say you’re gonna do something for them.
  5. You really need to give the Handmaid hierarchy a damn rest, fool. You really don’t get what these women will represent in a future life and Clayton knows this gets me riled up more than anything, he deeply caring about my mental health doesn’t bother me.
  6. You also tried to not understand me because of my mental health, and you blamed me for any breakups that could occur. You broke code with me when you were all, I’d rather be single than deal with someone who yells. Bullshit, if I don’t scream at a guy who wants to throw his dick in the wrong direction, I have every right to. I don’t want to have any pain while doing such things, so if a supremacist of any kind comes knocking, I’ll just throw him out the door with a few things. I would force all the white supremacists who want to egg themselves on to parade outside naked, and I’d write their crimes on their chests even with the hair hiding some of it, just wait till I get my hands on tattooing equipment. I should laugh sarcastically because these people don’t think we’re people, and that includes myself, Clayton,and Trenton, my beloved partner.
  7. You disgrace humanity with a belief that I am being used. It is my right to be either a sex object or not a sex object, and I’m not a sex object. From what I understand, sex objects can be found in the fictionalized hamlet of Fat Lip, Arizona, blame that on Blake. Fat Lip is a place where you get a big fat swollen lip, probably where you were punched in the face because you violated some rule or something. In other words, don’t mess with me or you’ll take that trip to Fat Lip, Arizona, and you’ll have lips the size of Hollywood girls’ lips and you’ll also have some chapping and maybe a few drops of Jupiter running down your shirt. Just don’t accuse my beloveds of using me, and no, Trenton and Clayton would not dare mistreat me.

If you want me back, here’s what you do:

  1. Worship me as your queen. Duh. Well, okay, not that extreme. But you must put a picture of me in your mind, in your living room, and remember that when you fool around, I’m watching. I’m so watching you.
  2. Bow to Clayton when you see him and say to him, “I’m sorry I’ve been the fool. I’m the dumbass who decided to accuse you of using the Queen as a maid.” Perhaps he will tell you that you’ve been foolish, you’ve been stupid, or both.
  3. Stop making me look bad and get the fuck off of other people’s pages who dislike or hate myself, Trenton, or Clayton. We are done with all the foolishness, and I don’t want my vacations and other things ruined. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Beth

A Job ??? For me?

Dear readers,

It is with excitement that I present to you a proposed thought. I may be getting a job at a remote company that does music lessons, and I’d rather teach the students there for the experience, and then maybe do private music lessons for young ones and adults alike, $25 and under negotiable for kiddos and young adults in college, and furthermore, if I do private lessons, it would mean the students would totally want to learn more. I want to do piano and voice, but with the company I’d like to learn to be a better person, especially with the soft skill of not being critical. I confess I’m critical of myself, very critical of myself because the criticality came with my parental upbringing. I was upbraided for being a so called egotistical diva, and it was bad for me to even hear my mother mock me in front of others, saying things as though she’d written my letters to the Backstreet Boys. Well, I’ve got news for you, Mom, Florida schools so don’t deserve me because of how dangerous they have become. The governor of that state is dangerous, and his white supremacist agenda is obviously flooding everybody with fear, which is what he wants to feed off of. That’s what Conservatives do, and one of those agenda items is getting rid of LGBTQIA+ peoples, which I won’t put up with. The company I wish to work for is pro LGBTQIA+, which that lines up with my values as a person. Yes, I had been bred in a Conservative household, but I shed that kind of skin so fast a snake couldn’t shed it quicker. While I am writing the blog post here, the Handmaid’s Tale is playing. My job would require me to use a webcam, something I’ll prep even if I don’t get this because I wanna do Zoom meetings in the kitchen and living room on my macintosh because hell, I’d love to do that instead of holding the phone and I wanna use a boom arm with my camera so I can clip it to the right level and have it there against my face level area, and I need a wide angle one, and that’s thanks to one of my good buddies for pointing it out.

I want to also furthermore tell you all that my primary care doctor is amazing, and has decided to put in a good word and a referral for me to the women’s care clinic. I can’t wait to have my own little child, and I am thoroughly looking forward to investigating Colorado’s support possibilities but right now, the job has to be part time, and when Baby is on board, I need to know how long it will be before I’m eligible for maternity benefits, including leave and such. Examples of the use case would be if I just had the baby, and between lessons, I could stop to care for this little prospect, but during lessons, I’d have to make sure someone, preferably a father or both the guys, they’d watch the baby while I’m working to support the kid. OF course, when I’m in the hospital, if it’s on a weekday where I would usually do workaday things, I’d have to text the boss and say, “Sorry I’m in labor, damn it, can’t work today. If there’s a sub who can fill in for my students/a way that I can make it up to you later, please let me know but seriously,” I’d say, “I’m in labor.” The boss would also have to understand in any job situation that pregnancy will mess with a woman. Yes, I ID as female, but I’m a staunch ally of transgender folks, and I’ll also want to include that I’ve participated in pride parade in Colorado, made friends with lots of LGBTQIA+ folks, including, I won’t say which ones are lovers or friends or both. I’m seriously considering not using, for example, one of my lovers as a reference, just to avoid biased statements so the boss has a neutral opinion or good professional opinion. I don’t want to use Florida people, no ex boyfriends, and to hell with some of the people in Colorado who worked at CCB. What if they speak ill of me and say I’m too liberal? Well, I do have one lover who insisted I use him as a reference, you can guess who. Trenton lives with me, so whatever. He doesn’t have my last name, so it works fine. He hasn’t known me from babyhood. So there you go. Then I have to get some sort of thing from another friend, and yes, I will also use a girlfriend who’s said I could use her, but still, I’m nervous as hell. A resume needs three references, but I want more than that so I stand out. But the big thing is I don’t want anything weird coming out in the reference page of my resume. I’m going to have to get back into LinkedIn, but I will be deleting folks. I don’t quite know why I even use that darn page.

Now, I hope you guys understand why I love my other guy, and I won’t have you guys guessing any more. But Clayton just wrote this beautiful note to the DA, and I’m being a bit half sarcastic about it, but this letter pretty much spelled out how the Arizona state peoples have been violating his rights, not honoring the auxiliary aids thing in the ADA or Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, furthermore, the date and time were objected to because of my arrival. I want to thank this man for forwarding my flight details to the people in charge. They better not accuse him of lying, or even worse, making it up, because he’s not one to lie about things like this. They can call my phone, they can harass me all they wanna, but I’m not letting them steal a great opportunity to meet with a friend and … well, we’ll just announce this when the time is right.

My history with guys has been so so. Trenton being the best, I’m going to do all it takes to include him even if it meant visiting him in the summer in Colorado, and going to Clayton in the winter. I don’t quite know how to knit things together properly in my heart, but no male god is going to tell me what to do and how to live my life. I’m not saying Clayton is official, he’s not quite official as a primarily committable second partner yet, I have to see him first. HE knows this. HE’s a sweet and nothing but true and genuine and loyal friend, and I can’t wait to see this friendship grow into … again I don’t know where we’ll go.

The big thing is that the women’s clinic will reach me soon. I will do a video appointment if they require it, and I can’t see the facilities so I’ll ask them to give me a private tour, nobody else allowed but staff, in the facility. I want to make sure the facility is safe, has a good safety protocol for what could happen, and I’ll present them a scenario about blindness and disabled parenting and such. They will be either condescending or not. The Colorado law says blind parents can have kids, and can have them placed with them. I will explain about the other things between me and all the other friends and lovers in my life. I will also demand that no custodial disputes be settled in court, but out of court. I want whatever happens to my kid never to be because Mommy and Daddy are fighting and can’t get along. Clayton loves me dearly, and I can’t wait to … well, maybe meet the little one that comes along, I wanted a dark skinned kid because paler skin equals being targeted for a white supremacist indoctrination. I want my baby and child and children to be raised pro black, pro LGBTQIA+, and with lots of gay and trans folks they can look to should they come out that way. They will not have to address relations we pick by title, Aunt or Uncle for example, like they can just call my buddy Christine Christine, and Jennifer the lady in chorus they can just call Jennifer or Jenny. Whatever the kid prefers. Jennifer Wensen, one of my friends, doesn’t have to be Aunt Jennifer either. I don’t want my other buddy Tina to be called Aunt Tina either. No titles required, except for professional folks in teaching, but don’t use Mrs. Example, I’m not Mrs. Matthews, I’m Miss or Ms. Taurasi, so to hell with the titles that denote marital status. I like the governor’s approach to that. the Messrs. Polis, for example, they’re a gay couple, but oh, okay, one of them is a Marlin something or other different last name, but Jared and Marlin have a couple sons, and they’re great. I wanna actually meet the governor, and talk to him a bit about improving blindness services in Colorado, making Colorado the best state for blindness services, bar none. Here are the ways I’d like to do this without being a politician:

  1. Blind pension should be instituted that doesn’t ever go away with SSI or jobs.
  2. Blindness should be classified as what it is, not sightless, visually impaired, shut up. IF you’re blind, it’s okay to use the word blind. Trenton is so severely visually impaired he’s classifiable as blind, so he’s blind. Clayton and I? Well, we’re born blind, completely, and that means if classified as such and completely blind is both of us, we should be eligible for more services that help, not hinder. I don’t think caregivers hinder, but we need to also do the next item in the list.
  3. No guardianship for all Coloradans, especially those who are elders and disabled folks. Natural and foster guardianship would be allowed though for the kiddos, and that is needed to protect the kids from abuse or other things.
  4. If a custodial dispute comes up with blind parents involved, if either one or both parents are blind, we need to evaluate what the kid feels with each parent, and the judge will decide who gets some primary custody. Example, let’s say a sighted woman took advantage of Trenton, and had a baby with him. The girl is sighted, but abuses Trenton’s offspring and says, “I don’t like you.” Custody disputes ensue, and in the plan I am thinking about, Trenton would automatically get sole custody if it can be seen by doctors say that the girl is abusing the kid, and they need to also count emotional and sexual abuse of the child as factors of custodial parentage for the kid. This way, according to my plan even Clayton would have sole custody of his child, not an abusive potential other who might kill her because she can’t handle parenting. Most vilicide cases happen because a stupid and ableist and … should I say another word like deranged?, parent decides they can’t handle the kid and regret bringing the child into the world. In the case of one such, the mother said her daughter sounded like a robot, and decided she’d drown or burn the little woman. Not acceptable. I don’t sympathize with vilicide perps. I don’t sympathize with murderers, not on any terms. I’m seriously throwing in scenarios here, but Colorado courts must side with a caring disabled parent, and if the parent is abusive, disability or no disability, that parent does not get custody. So examples, Jason my ex, if he begs me for some time with his own offspring after he abuses the child, I’d say, “Sorry, big shot, but you’re not getting any custody because the doc said you were hitting and beating the kid up. You could have killed my child.” I know Clay would never ever hurt a living soul, not even a fly. Well, I could be exaggerating, but if he squashes a bug for real, I’d be okay with that. Scorpions sting like the dickens, so I’d let him get that thing out. I’d let him kill the damn thing. I don’t want scorpion stings, so there you have it. Spiders too, if I see one, damn, I’m not kidding.
  5. We need Braille legislated in to our education. We also need blind kids to learn comprehensive sex education, which would include not only anatomy and familiarization with the terminology and such, but consent, consent, and more consent. Dr. Fridas would be exceedingly proud of me for saying this. Donna Fridas may be Catholic, but she affirms all people, including transgender folks, gay folks, a variety of peoples. It’s thanks to her book on consent, written for everybody of course, that I think consent should be a huge part of all sex ed for all students, including the blind. Clayton and Trenton would benefit had they been under such a plan, and I wouldn’t be hurt so badly, but all blind females especially should be on the lookout for ableist parental guardianship threats, and be taught how to stall and halt such things.
  6. Blind people should be learning stuff from each other, but Colorado doesn’t have a huge blind community compared with the sighted. I’d be damned if anyone thought that blind people are stupid. They’re not stupid, but the sighted supremacist community should be put in check, severely. I want people to approach us blind folks with curiosity appropriate for the age of the person, and be curious to know how a blind person lives. Let us all be curious creatures, but blind people are not the zoo animals, we are your friends and neighbors, your daughters and sons, your mom and dad, your aunts and uncles, friends, lovers, and so many other things in life.
  7. Finally, I think a blind person should be in charge of Colorado’s blind population, and I totally agree with Clayton’s blind empowerment thing, but the trouble is executing such. I want to take over the CCB and rename it simply as the Blindness Center of Littleton, and I’m sorry, but we need to reverse the ban on one of my friends, give all blind females who survived the NFB’s sexual abuse stuff a chance to put their anger in to action. Anyone who wants a baby can have that baby, and I won’t pay for abortions unless the mother’s life is at stake, or she says please do. If a blind teenager is sexually assaulted, I’m going to kick the perp out faster than a hurricane. I will also institute better supports at the Center in Littleton, maybe we’ll make a slight change and still call it CCB but no longer with the NFB. We’d have an unaffiliated center, and we’d have to pull a George Orwell’s Animal Farm style of co-op with certain sighted businesses and groups, but one way or another, make Littleton a blind friendly town, and honor those who went before us and who will come after. People will no longer see Ray or Diane McGeorge’s names on the places of shelter, but instead, we will rename the apartments to honor someone who’s truly spelling out revolution in action. Blindness and empowering blind people is important, but we need to meet the person where they are, and I’m getting back my confidence in the kitchen, and I’m doing it a little step at a time. Baby steps. I made a green bean casserole, and it turned out delicious. I was shocked that it also had a spice kick.

Thank you all for reading, and I hope to see some good things come from the blog soon. Blindness ought not to be feared, and neither should I as a person.

Beth

My life is about to get better.

Dear readers,

I’m typing this blog post with the aid of my Macintosh. I’m also going to tell you all that life isn’t waht it seems. I’m feeling weird these days. I have 373 gb of stuff I have to remove from an iCloud backup and stuff like this. I’m feeling also that I’m at a precipice on things, including where I’m going to set up shop and have a family. For those who don’t know, blind parents can do things, honestly I’m tired of people saying I have to have excellent cooking skills, stellar cleaning skills, and all of that. Parents should try their hand at those things, sure, but moreover, parents have to have a desire to do this, and they have to be able to attach to a child and love that child. My dearly beloved Trenton says he doesn’t feel the energy necessary to be a biological father, but I’m willing to set it up so that he can help with things, but I also want support in the state of Colorado. So far, my therapist has sent me resources about parenting as a blind person, which is a start, but I have so many friends who are blind, well, I have parent friends, good ones and they are not judgmental, but I also think that UU parents like one of my other buddies I hung out with are very sweet people. I’m truly happy when I’m with my tribe. And I found that tribe, and I’ll tell you it’s not just me, Trenton, and my potentiali other Clayton, and some of you may think this is awfully weird, but it includes sisters like my friends in the UU community, it includes folks in the blindness community of Colorado, it includes folks with comorbid disability who also have been blind a long time. I want to say this journey is not over yet. Before my goddamn mac decides to update, I better shut up. I can’t wait, honestly, to begin new adventures and leaps and bounds. There’s a dog howling outside our window, at least not a damn coyote, and those things are the devil. In Arizona, well, they are the devil for ranchers and such, and the coyotes like to feast on people’s livestock, so I was saying, fight nature with nature, and if coyotes mess with my livestock, I said I would use a guard dog to keep the sheep away from the coyote packs. Moreover, I explained that a certain breed of llama and sheepdog could help out immensely more so than a poison or pesticide. We both love the environment, Clayton and I, and we both believe that playing with DNA and playing God isn’t exactly a good thing.

I just want to make sure the pros and cons are good ones, at least we need to know that 3d tactile ultrasonic images of the children to come are available for Medicaid, and we need the full body because as blind people, we should not have to be dictated about how and who accesses information about things like this. Ultrasound images are intimate parts of a mother’s and father’s life. I’m not dissing you gay folks either, but gay guys and a surrogate who are blind should still have the same equal access and opportunity that heterosexual couples get by being heterosexual. I am for the most part hetero, but I’m willing to try things I couldn’t because of my hellish adolescence. As a young girl, I was stripped of my rights, so now I’m going to see where my straight laced image can be ripped apart. I could say a woman is fine, but I’m not wired for women, and that’s okay. Everybody has natural feelings about things like this. I am affirmative to all persons, after all it is one of the principles that guides my beliefs about things. If anything, I’m going to have a lot to say later on, but I’m going to be in Arizona next month, and can’t wait honestly to be loved and appreciated by someone who truly loves and appreciates me.

What are the pros and cons you may ask? I’ll list them all here.

Pros and cons for Colorado:

  1. I have supports that will accept Clayton as a fellow being of humanity, otherwise known as a homo sapien sapien, a la human being.
  2. He doesn’t have to worry about badass drivers running him over as many times.
  3. We may have better coverage for children and women with Medicaid, and I don’t qualify for Medicare.
  4. I get dental benefits.
  5. Food stamps are a nonissue.
  6. Nicer places abound. I want a bigger place so I can have a few musical opportunities.
  7. The mountains are beautiful.
  8. The weather in summer is way better than Arizona’s by a long shot.
  9. Colorado has wilder weather, but the people here are resilient, and very kind honestly.
  10. I have buddies here who would be able to participate without judgment in a baby shower, birthday party, etc etc.

Pros and Cons of being in Arizona:

  1. A con is the desert climate, duh.
  2. There are enemies in Arizona, particularly those I’ve written about who sent me a deathly threat via a Karen of sorts in my backyard mind you.
  3. People are treating Clayton like total shit.
  4. At least no snow.
  5. Clayton wants a house there, but what if there’s none to be found due to jentification? Jentified, a Netflix show, pronounced “hentified” is a show about Latino families facing gentrification, and Arizona’s gentrification is out of control.
  6. Republican run legislation, no need to explain that part.
  7. Too many goddamn creedal churches, where are the UU’s there?
  8. LGBTQI+ folks aren’t protected as much, trans care could be criminalized as well as sports, Iowa did that already.
  9. Access to abortion if my life is in danger is crucial, and if AZ pulls a we don’t like abortion, even if the mother’s life is in danger thing, it should be clear where my family will live.
  10. No critical race theory or talk about black people in schools. Also, the. high school Clayton attended would get a big F you from me for trying to institutionalize him for being himself and expressing his actions and feelings through rap music. Colorado schoolkids don’t even get that kind of treatment to my knowledge.

It should be clear, but I’m going to be honest. I hope Clayton and I can work something out where he leaves Arizona and comes here, wink wink. I secretly wish he’d do this, even if gun control is bad for his rights to own one, or if Colorado requires sight to do x and y. I don’t care, and I don’t want anyone to be dumped or left out, but we need to decide where and when I go someplace, to visit Trenton or Clayton, and both of them need to share me gracefully, without incident, no fighting, I know this is weird. But I hate heartbreaks, I’ve been through my share of those. I had the worst sex with my ex, the guy in Georgia we call Jason, but Idk. My adventures will include every leg of my journey. I just hope I don’t die giving birth, or worse, die postpartum like a friend did a while back

Okay, trying my hand at something new

Dear readers,

My brain is on fire. I’m falling hard for someone special. Now, I’m looking at something I shouldn’t. … Who cares? Below, I’m about to write down this poem I’m envisioning in my mind at this hour.

There is no rose in Iowa,

More wild and beautiful than you,

There is no ocean so deep,

Than your beautiful eyes crystal blue,

There is no golden sun the brighter

Than your golden smile is deep,

When you aren’t with me, or in my arms,

I feel as though I should weep.

Come sit beside me, my love,

Let me hold you close by,

As the sound of the mourning dove

Becomes clearer and echoes louder, and I die,

A thousand deaths in your arms, full of passion,

Your kiss being as sweet and cool as the rain,

I hope that one day you will never fall out of fashion,

So as I take off in my desert bound plane,

Remember me, let me remember you,

And let me love you again,

Because there is not a wilder and more beautiful place

Than in your heart, and no mountain or valley

Can erase the space between me and your beautiful face,

And I hope not one thing finds us in an alley,

Alone in the night, I sit here and write,

These words that call out and fall out of me,

Because you are the one I think of each and every night,

And each and every solitary day,

You are on my mind.

Beloved one, as I type this,

This isn’t the first time I will say this,

But believe me you aren’t the only thing I’ve loved so deeply,

But just wait until you kiss me so sweetly,

You are the one I dare to say I wouldn’t live without,

And I love you truly and without a single doubt.

Things I Wish I Could Say to Misty Dawn

Author’s Note: The following is the result of much processing of an argument I witnessed, a blatant attack on my friend Clayton on Twitter. This isn’t the first, nor will it be the last time, someone tries to target Clayton as a “provocateur” or “troublemaker” and tries to accuse me of automatically taking his side, and losing respect for me. This entire letter is something I should have probably written at the moment, but spur of the moment things aren’t always good.

Dear Misty Dawn,

First and foremost, you don’t know who you’re messing with with regard to Clayton. I did not like the blatant violation of Clayton’s right to be in a disability rights space, nor did I care for the blatant disrespect of mine and Clayton’s relationship. Relationship, you may ask? Well, I’m not revealing much except that Clayton is much stronger than any man I’ve been with, and if you understood my history with men, you’d know why Clayton attracts women like me over women with blatant agendas to attack and reproach guys like him. For one, I’ve been ill used, misunderstood, and abused by what we call the patriarchy. I do not date certain kinds of guys because of some stuff I’m going to cover later, but please, you need to get with the program and get with the times. The patriarchal party is over, and I’m not being used by Clayton. He’s not one to do that to me, and before I get any further, nobody belongs to anyone else, contrary to the Brave New World’s Hypnopaedic proverb. Thank you. On to the meat and potatoes, shall we?

My history with men begins with Jason. No, not the Jason I’ve covered here in the blog, but a prior guy who accused me of sexual harassment. First off, try being the girl who was sheltered in a private school, taught that sex was for having babies only, for marriage, all that and then you get guardianshipped at 17 in 2004 after you learned much in high school, except for dating. You could not date, and could have received in school suspension from the Malicoat lady, I forget the woman’s name, but she almost did it, it was however due to lateness and guys making up stories about sexual harassment. Yes, there are women who commit such acts, but it wasn’t me. Jason Lawrence, a young man who went to school with me, threatened a restraining order, but do you know how much that would have cost? I tried to do the same thing with a Mabelin Ramirez, and got nowhere because when I saw prior cases needing such, there were truly domestically abused victims in the room, and there were women there who had broken jaws and teeth, broken arms, bruises, etc. I can’t imagine what those women went through. Calling Clayton names like “provocateur” and “troublemaker” doesn’t add up and he did not, btw, commit domestic violence or want to use me. I never did that to Jason Lawrence either. Yet Jason had every right to get that stupid order, however it would have badly damaged my musical career, and my stupid ass guidance counselor, whoever she was, wanted me to take an exceptional skills class or social skills class that purposely conflicted with my band and chorus stuf. My parents were almost gleeful at that prospect, oh our daughter will have to leave the men alone, but you know what? Men like Jason Lawrence and later Orien Henry had to have been the worst choices anyway because of what you will call antiblind ableism. There was ableism at Titusville High School, ableism everywhere. I bet you that Jason asked the same questions about me that you asked about Clayton or me. Jason asked questions like, “Will she be able to bear children? Are blind women sexy?” God, I would have given my entire teenage years to have one damn sexual encounter but with Catholicism and family strictures on me, I couldn’t. Even if I did, I’d have used protection, I didn’t really want to get pregnant. But men like Jason Lawrence are not fit to be with blind women because of how he treated me in high school, and I’m also sorry but I think the Lawrence family should take note, Jason is a good and intelligent and strong man, but still, his weakness like most men’s weaknesses is disabled women.

Orien Henry was nice enough, but because my parents were in all respects an Italian household, I feel my dad was pretty hostile to Orien and sided moreover with. his mother. The mother thought I was crazy and “psychotic.” This again isn’t true. I was emotionally abused by my parents and wanted a way out. I was close enough to marrying Orien if anything to get me away from a life of guardianship, having my radio and music constantly unplugged and taken away, and having anything and everything not owned by me personally. Even my cell phone was subjected to being stolen, and I say stolen even if the property wasn’t mine because this leads to another one of the guardianship evils.

Guardians are known to isolate theier wards, and it helped my dad that he was hostile to me dating Michael Bonhomme from Haiti, yes, Haiti. I have a thing for black men, as you can tell. My dad made up a sob story about Michael being sexually experienced.” Who cared, not me. Michael had a great voice, great kind of musical talent, and I was looking for a guy with the same kind of talent. Well, I am now living in Colorado not only because of Michael’s inability to be with me, but because I am dead done with my parents approving or disapproving of men I bring into their fold, which is nonexistent to me. I had a few crushes on blind men when I left Florida, when I graduated Titusville, and I discovered that the power dynamic was so much better. It may not be so with sighted guys like Jason and Orien, mainly because Jason and Orien are sighted and not equipped or empowered to help and support me, recently diagnosed with PTSD and being blind also. Who wants a blind woman who’s had to have spent 16 years in guardianship hell? Nobody except for my current partner, Trenton, and when you attacked Clayton, well, it made me wanna fight harder. The thing is it could have taken a bigger toll on my PTSD symptomology. I can’t read your tweets, you’ve been blocked. Comments on this blog have been disabled so that trolls don’t write a damn thing. IF you wish to say anything, and I’d be careful, email is the only way and it will come to me privately.

When I first met Clayton, I was scared. I was a scared and yes, straightlaced mono woman in some empty hollow tower, but you know what? Contrary to what you believe about this dude, he set me free. HE lit my fire and I burned down the tower altogether. Unlike Jason, Orien, and the other guys I’ve dealt with, Clayton and my current partner love and respect me and realize that people like you and my parents are emotionally off so far as I’m concerned. You tried to tell Trenton that I needed to be “put in check”, but guess what? I’m gonna be perfectly honest, I’m more capable than you think. I’m a strong ass woman, PTSD or not, and this is what I get for trying to fight for others’ rights? I realize Clayton said something important regarding the revolutionary way. He said that you have to make others mad, you have to stir the pot, not that he said those words, but you do indeed have to stir the brew. As Bob Marley’s song says, “Stir it up. Little darlin’, stir it up.” I’m gonna stir it up so bad it spills over. One of the things I’m going to do with my life is end the use of guardianships on disabled people, and ironically, I’m going to work with sighted folks who’ve had guardians in their lives. There’s this guy Rick Black, this gal LuAnne Fleming, and all the members of FaceUs, or Families Against Court Embezzlement Unethical Standards, a group in Colorado that calls folks out for being bad and such. Judges and lawyers have been salacious and scandalous and wrong in their rulings because of the guardianship industry. I read LuAnne’s posts a lot, and Rick Black is the man. I won’t say much more.

The big thing about my work is that I’ve received even death threats from folks who think I should suffer. Well, it’s not gonna go down like that. You say I’m entitled and lazy? Take a look in the mirror. I have a few people who say that, but jobs are out because of workplace safety concerns. These range from sexual exploitation at work to men treating me like possibly Mike Pence did and then there’s no life affirmation for LGBTQI+ folks in some areas. I am a staunch ally of this community despite dumping the gay chorus in my area. I cannot do the gala choruses festival now because DWC won’t invest their time in me, and it’s not my fault. They wanted more from me than I could give. All these orgs for any kind are greedy, donate this and donate that, and here I am sacrificing goddamn gold and money for Clayton and others who actually give a damn. Call me entitled, but school being free is a good thing. Blind people not having jobs is indeed a bad thing, but I’ve got comorbid stuff going on and it does not help. It doesn’t help that I was ill treated by patriarchal standards set forth by an Italian father, a Catholic mother, and so much more. I will not, for instance, send any child of mine to a Roman Catholic establishment, they’re being dedicated to the UU church. Also, if you hadn’t noticed, I’ve seen too much ableism in the disabled community. Ableism is a word I gained from, well, you can only guess. I learned the meaning of love from the disabled men I encountered. People try to push hypergamy on me, but Clayton is the embodiment of a warrior king, and I the embodiment of a warrior queen. Try to stop us, but you won’t be able to track down my phone number, or anything else. You need to think before you do anything to stoke the fires of ableism in the community.

Regarding why I protect Clayton from your blatant attacks on his character, you’ve not realized I did this because Clay’s character is not worth attacking. His approach of playing nice with bigots doesn’t work is so real, it is not even funny and his approach is not to play nice with those folks, and it works. Here’s an incident that illustrates why bigotry is wrong. I walk to the Walmart to do my shopping, and the first thing I ask is “Do you have a courtesy someone who can help?” Something like this is asked, and the answer is no. We have nobody, we have nobody, we don’t offer this service. I call bullshit. I cried for what seemed like a half hour in the hall, not only because of the no courtesy clerk service, but I was blatantly accused of harassment of customers. The manager at that location made me feel so uncomfortable and I was like, well, two secs away from calling the cops. Clayton would have been more supportive that way. People at stores have to help blind people because it is a public place with public goods, and no, sighted folks are not going to take over shopping tasks for us. Bullshit on those who wish us dead. NOt only was the shopping incident a bad rap on me, but I was ill treated by a manager whose job it was to serve the blind. If we can’t use visual interpretive services like Aira, which costs money, we can’t go shopping without a sighted assistant willing to communicate and do the stupid job. We are entitled to top notch service because we bust our butts on public transport or nonmedical cabs to do things. We bust our wallets out with paratransit, and yet do you care how little we get? We’re angry, yes, but we’re not playing nice with people who accuse us of harassment when clearly, we ask for help. I spoke to Jen at Walmart Corporate offices at West Colfax, and she swore she’d give the manager better training. She’d train it out, but do I trust that she did?

This incidence and others illustrate the need to shout, scream, and let the whole thing hang out. This is, by the way, a paraphrase of a Britney and Will I Am song. I changed it up for effect, but still.

The thing I wish I could tell you is this: I look at Clayton and I see myself. I see the male version of me in the mirror staring back at me. It’s a scary but lovely prospect. I won’t tell you much more because you’ve judged Clayton and me as bad. You don’t get it. I live on on my own, pay my own goddamn bills, and I’m planning my own vacations and dates with people. I don’t need a blind or disabled person who doesn’t live on their own to dictate what my life will look like. I will also tell you that blind men with family hovering over them disapprove of me so much. I’ll tell you at least that my ex in Arizona, his mom disapproves because of my PTSD and mental health concerns. This woman should be blacklisted for any work dealing with mental health rehabilitation because she lost a son to a woman who wasn’t even getting treatment for drugs etc. This lady took all her frustrations out on me, all the anger went into separating me from Blake, my beloved ex who is still friends with me and still btw calls me up on Christmas and birthdays and such. Blake, who cares so deeply about me, but he doesn’t realize I have my own life to live. My mission is not complete, but Blake’s mission is different, and I respect that. But Blake is not my lover as of seven years back, but still, he has his good points. AS my buddy Kristen from the private school said, “We all have our good and bad points.” She’s right. I will admit I have disagreements even with Clayton, but unlike someone else here, I table those disagreements and we don’t fight like kids. I hope your life gets better, and you realize that what you did wrong will not be forgotten, though your name is gone on Twitter and other things. Come when you are ready to be able to approach Clayton like an adult, not like a child.

Sincerely,

Beth Taurasi

My Mental State Is Not MY Fault

Dear Readers,

It’s been another while since I posted here on WordPress. I want to tell you all a little bit about me nobody knows, except on FB. I shared on FB and Twitter about having a diagnosis of PTSD, and I see the symptomology of it every day popping up in my life. My heart rate goes up a lot when I get nervous, and that’s nothing compared to what happens when I see names, phrases, and people that I need to avoid to make sure they don’t hurt me again. Examples of these include a young woman who followed me on Twitter and beforehand, called me a slut. Worse, she called me a “dick hungry dog in heat” and referenced my ex, Joseph Hagemeier. I don’t appreciate that and it hurt me lots. Now every time I see that girl’s name on Twitter, my heart races like a car on a trioval track. I don’t ever associate with Downtown Denver too, avoid Lodo because of all the shit that I’ve been through. Trenton and I have been through practically hell, and we’re stronger for knowing this information. I cannot, however, for the life of all things good, I can’t tell you how much both Trenton and my close friend, Clayton, have both been incredibly supportive, even if Clayton or Trenton had weak spots or mental stuff or something dark happened to either. I also want to tell you all, this diagnosis is by no means a license to call me names, call me out, or threaten my life. Clayton especially won’t put up with this. Target me, and I promise there will be consequences.

Another thing, I have to be careful because people have made awful judgments about my love life, and I only have energy for so much time between two strong men. Yes, I’m studying and wanting to explore an open relationship, and Trenton says it was my idea. Even if you don’t read this blog, you should educate yourselves on open relationships. I will only open my heart to one man, and maybe a bisexual female if she likes both myself and Trenton. I don’t want to hurt Trenton’s chances of being father figure at all, but Clayton being the experienced and wise for his age kind of guy should get the chance first because of his experience and because this is a need for him. I’ve never seen a guy cry over stuff and never felt the need to comfort him as strongly as I do now. WE’ve bonded so well, I may be doing some stuff on the internet to help him get money in the jar, and I have promoted the hell out of his Twitter tip jar. HE has two Twitters with tip jars, so the more the merrier. IF you wish to send him a tip, please tweet me, and I’ll show you where to follow and send him a tip. This guy. has been nothing but loyal, sweet, strong, and true to me since the beginning. I apologize if I ever said a hurtful word to him, I regret writing stuff I might have because I was angry that he quit speaking to me for a time, but he bounced back like a boomerang, and he said he loved me too much not to say a word. I owe my strength to his wisdom. HE has taught me loads of stuff, but there’s more we can learn from each other.

AS I watch the Handmaid’s Tale, I can only think of what could have happened if the U.S. fell. Clay would be thrown aside and white old fur dressed men would take the spotlight, ban women from voting, and deprive us all of rights. I swear I won’t let the bad happen to Clay and me, or Trenton either. I told him once that I’d have stormed Trenton’s captor’s plantation and stolen Trenton by allowing Clayton to purchase him as “my wife’s butler.” Clayton would spin stories of all this stuff. He’d have banged up a few bad guys, and we’d flee to Canada, just like in the Handmaid’s Tale. Clayton would not be forced to command a dangerous regiment of sighted guys, but rather, I bet he would have to gather the nerdy among us and we’d have to, I swear to God, use every weapon at our disposal to rid the U.S. of these dangerous people. I want a country where Trenton and I and the babies are safe, no matter what. I’ve got many ideas on how to raise a family and even I have received much support from both of these guys, and they love me to no end. I thank the Gods every day for the blessing of these wonderful men, and more. I’ve got two girlfriends who want to hang with me, one other who wants to send me clothing. My mental state is a direct result of my toxic family, however. Clayton and I bonded over our family issues, and because I’m trying to be strong for him and Trenton, trust me sleep is elusive. Blame it on me, I don’t wanna wake up and find any of these guys taken from me, dead, or worse. My diagnosis is not shocking, and I think I see myself in Clayton, he is like the male versibon of myself, sort of. WE’ve gotten that much closer, and I can’t wait to meet him at some point. This won’t be discussed here but please bear in mind, I’m letting him call out the first things about us. I want him to make a move. Not me. Thank you readers for reading this, and if anyone wants to comment on what I wrote here, tweet or send me an email or contact me on my socials on the main website, which is listed in my twitter account.

Beth

I’m sorry I haven’t been on this blog in a while …

Dear readers,

I’m writing this blog entry to apologize to readers and others for not having done a year end rap up and not updated on Christmas of all things. Today is January 2, and people are denying me access to food and other supplies, and I’ve got lots to talk about. Let’s talk about the year in twelve or more things.

  1. First off, I learned that extreme weather patterns closed too many things to us, even in January of 2021. I also realize that Covid destroyed all possibility of celebrating Christmas and New Year’s, and it happens seemingly every year but still, not good.
  2. In February, winter just continues and it got worse. Not sure when the blizzard from last year happened, but at some point in either February or March, we needed help, big time, and didn’t have enough food and supplies stocked up. It happens even more now because of what’s about to happen next.
  3. Bedbugs came back, and I just about had enough of the unsanitary living conditions that disabled people are forced to accept, mostly because money isn’t there. I can’t just wave a magic wand and make money grow on trees, people, so I asked for help with housing, and got the following statements from a Lyn Coats and Jennifer Scott: “You can’t feed yourself.” “You’re manipulative.” Jennifer went so far as to drag my poor ex into the conversation, and it went downhill from there. I have more to say about that in some later entries here.
  4. In August, we still had problems with bedbugs in the building, so we had to evacuate our apartment, and honestly I hate my building because of the lack of help we’ve been subject to, denial of resources due to being on longterm care, and so much other stuff. In August, I asked for help a second time for some evacuation strategy, and some Josh Cory and a Kayla Michelle Candelora said the following: “I wanna be honest, you’re not capable of doing anything at all.” Josh added that he’d unfriend me and blocked me anyway because he felt I was incapable of doing for myself, and these two individuals also defended having to compensate people for their time in money dollars I don’t have. Kayla particularly has a huge burden to bear because she is a mother of four. Josh is a divorcee with two kids, and worse for him, he refusees to hold himself accountable for his possible beating up his ex wife. He blames her for DV (domestic violence) charges, and I should have seen that as a clear distorted thought process, a red flag. I reread a sexual predators protection handbook, and discovered not that Josh was or is a predator, but that distorted thinking was present in his brain, so his loss on my page is not really a loss. However, Jos, Lyn, Kayla, and Jennifer all did something I would never have expected. They all called me slurs about my mental health, needlessly incapacitated me on the internet, and revealed private information about me because they felt that I was a personal threat to their egos. Well, there’s one or two more names I have to go through.
  5. Recently, Jose Cintron got himself on my block list because he called me crazy, and needlessly incapacitated me on the Internet via Facebook yet again. His words? “This woman sounds crazy.? He wrote that in response to something a friend did and an interview she gave about my church experiences. Jose should have never said the thing I’m about to write as well, “You should not be in charge of another life.” Well, Jose, I will be in charge of thousands of lives if you don’t think before you write. I am capable of writing this blog entry, so you need to shut up and if I find you are whispering this to doctors and social workers in your state, I will make for darn sure you are flagged as a false person because you said these things, and it hurts loads because I was told I was incapable in a court of law, and even if Britney is free, you won’t be because I have my freedom because I had to do what was right and necessary to prove things. Guardianship is evil, and if you are pro guardianship, well, you have a lot of things to think about.
  6. I looked at my block list on Facebook, and I confess it looks a mile long. Besides Jose, Jennifer, Lyn, Kayla, and Josh, there will be more names I’m pretty sure who would be glad to bully my friends and me. I am pretty sure also that I blocked my immediate family, and my aunts and uncles and such because it’s not their business what I write on social media. Oh, did I forget Karrie Kinsteter also said the following regarding pregnancy and disabled people? “It will be your parents’ business if you get pregnant.” Karrie clearly supported an evil practice of something called stealing the baby from a disabled parent, and I had to put up with that two years ago. Karrie is not coming back and if she does, she has to change what she feels about guardianship because it is pure evil. I had a tough talk with my dear beloved’s mother about such jarring matters as guardianship, and I warned her this. While her adopted mom got scammed $500, that same amount will be removed … per hour if a professional guardian was in charge. $500/hr, that’s a lot.
  7. While I did a few blocks and had to deal with persistent needless incapacitation online, I also was targeted for crimes like my medication was stolen twice. Not once, but twice. I will tell you this, one young man I know suggested I take a trip and pick them up, but that’s too much. If it’s cold and snowy out, definitely too damn much.
  8. One good thing that happened this year, well, a good Samaritan in my building rescued two pairs of binaural headsets Trenton, my beloved partner, had ordered. We use the binaural headsets to record things. We don’t know exactly what will be recorded on those, but if you listen to my binaural recordings, I will warn you, please wear headphones.
  9. I unblocked and added back a friend of mine and found out that CCB and the Colorado Center for the Blind is firing folks right and left and believes that it’s okay for blind folks to die by vehicular collision. Oops, it’s not good at all. I also saw an article in the Colorado Sun about misconduct things regarding the same place, and worse, sexual misconduct affected some of the staff I thought I could trust. They’ve been going through staff like women go through panty hose. I’m not kidding. I want the stupidity to stop.
  10. I met several great people but connections could not have been formed too deeply. I’m having this issue, mainly because of the needless incapacitation and false rumors about me, taht involves connections. I can’t form connections like I used to, and it’s sad. I can’t form bonds with people who have the same things in common with me. Most of the disabled community and blind community in particular are so bored with their lives and themselves that they would rather spread misinformation about me than do real things, including a job, form friendships like everybody else, and do things that people actually want to do. My friends like to do things other than lie around and spread misinformation and watch TV. Yes, I watch movies and TV, but truthfully, I don’t spread misinformation. I tell the truth. From Josh to Jose to Karrie to Kayla to everybody else, these people needlessly incapacitated me without prior qualification or medical evaluation. I’m sorry, but all the pro guardianship blind people need to stop believing for a split second that removing fundamental human rights clears any way for people to … “help” others. Guardians don’t do that. They scam, and they’re on the level of con artist. I’m not kidding.
  11. I’ve continued pressing for the end of guardianship since I’m free to do that now. I want to name some good people I’ve had the privilege of working with on Facebook. Hilary and Rick, two awesome folks, are amazing. Hilary Hogue from naples, Florida, understands the meaning of freedom. Rick Black, one of the best social justice activists I know, has been on standby because I hope this year, I can go to the Capitol in Colorado to talk to Congress in that state. I don’t want to deal with anyone like that Beauvert gal who’s probably going to say I’m incapable and incompetent at all. The truth is, politicians should take notice because guardianships no matter who has them are simply pure evil, should be criminally liable, and should never happen at all. My kids one day will have to contend with my story. I will tell it in the best way possible.
  12. Once again, Lissa or Melissa or whatever her name is decided to have a ball turning on me. This girl sat next to me in high school, but prefers guys who like to send death threats to me rather than myself. Lissa and her husband blocked me and accused me of damaging someone’s reputation, but let’s be clear on something. You send death threat? You get nothing. You lose everything. Death threats are not funny, they’re not cool, and they’re also a crime. You commit crimes against Beth Taurasi? You will get arrested, put behind bars, and I will testify what you said and did, and the call will likely be recorded and played back in court. You wanna hear what you say? I suggest you don’t send death threats by email or phone. It’s been two years since this lady from freaking Avilar did this. So, this is what I want to see. No more death threats or attempts to do so, and because of trolls I had to stop comments on here. If you are concerned, please contact me on Twitter or Facebook. IF your name is Karrie, btw, I think you owe me an apology because you don’t understand how evil your thoughts are regarding pregnancy and disabled people.

For Christmas, thankfully we hung out with Trenton’s mom. She has two kitty cats, and we love both of those cats. One male, one female, they’re adorable. I hope that one day, people will stop digging into private information without my permission. I’m considering stopping all longterm care services because someone on my FB page revealed things that are lies, and are private and it’s unethical to reveal these things. When there is a shortage of caregivers, you can’t really do anything about this. I have had a very difficult 2021, so here’s what I want to do for this year:

  1. Fitness is at the top of my list of things to do.
  2. I’m going to decimate my family’s money and savings so they will have no choice but to put me on their will, and I will be the sole heir and have an inheritance that will help us get proper housing for kids, and furthermore, the county in which the guardianship was handed out will be punished for their deed.
  3. I will have a child, and no, that child will be with us, nobody else.
  4. I will not allow any more needless incapacitation or calls for me to be retraumatized in guardianship on Facebook. Anyone who does this will surely find themselves blocked, reported for hate speech and forgotten but their comments will probably never leave me alone.
  5. I will have a dream and that dream will come true. Anyone trying to tell me dreams are just dreams is being ridiculous.

Thank you for reading this blog over the years. In case you didn’t know, The Throne Room with Beth Taurasi will be getting a new platform home, to hell with someone else taking away distribution of my podcast. I’m done.

I hope 2022 will be better.

Beth

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