Back to school dress codes 101

Dear readers,

When this plague and pandemic comes to a close, I want to remind everybody that schools will become an issue. If you recently lost your job and are working in the gig economy, and you want a world class education for your youngster, there are things you should know. Here’s two parts to this post: one, a dress code I would recommend for all schools to follow, and two, what to do if your dress code promotes rape culture and silences the expressions of women and girls, so sit back and fasten your seatbelts because this will be important.

How should a dress code be worded?

Dress codes. are important hallmarks of school pride and spirit, but uniforms can be a problematic thing. Catholic schools like St. Teresa when I was a student had a dress code that was gender exclusive. For example, girls had to wear pinafore jumpers and skirts depending on grade level. Only the kindergarten classes and prekindergarten class had equally good uniforms for boys and girls. Once you hit grade 1, first grade, however, the girls are separate in dress and manner and code than the boys. There are strict rules about boys and jewelry, but the girls are the ones who pay the price. Skirts are fine sometimes, but during NUT days, otherwise known as “no uniform today” days, the principals and vice principal would say that girls should wear these hundred items, but not wear these thousand others. Boys’ hair must be cut really short, above the ear, and brands on shoes are a problematic thing too. STS recommended that we wear Oxford dress shoes to church and so on, but Oxford brands are expensive. The regular shoes we wear should not have a brand bigger than a quarter on them, but to have such a picky dress code on shoes is remarkably taxing on parents who can’t find or can’t afford what students need. This is information from my years at STS, and does not possibly apply today, but if someone knows what the STS dress code is like today, I’d love to know via Twitter or Facebook if you know anything about any changes other than the girls got pants for the winter. That’s another thing.

While girls are expected to wear pinafore jumpers or skirts to church every Friday, boys have pants. The only exception to the girls wearing skirts or pants thing to church is during wintertime. That made sense, but skirts don’t automatically identify all girls, but this school is like all Catholic schools in that they try to make boys men and girls women. The underlying gender role messages in the STS dress code speak exclusivity to nonconformists, so a Catholic school is not the recommended choice for parents of child nonconformists like those who are transgender etc.

When I went to high school, I believed that I was fine with dress, and to this day I dress a bit conservatively if I go anywhere. However, my idea of a dress code should be the following: All students should wear proper clothing, business casual, and girls can choose to wear what they want based on how they feel. Yes, people might think this is crazy and that girls’ bodies overtly distract boys’ sexual urges, but shouldn’t we teach boys that girls are to be worshipped and respected, not looked upon as sexual objects? Yes, sex is a good thing, but for high school boys who have urges like this and other problems, there should be sex ed to be done for them and the girls alike. Boys have the responsibility to be good stewards and stand up for girls’ rights, especially as it pertains to dress and demeanor. I have the right to wear a short skirt, no veils, no hats, no wigs, and I have a right to wear a nice blouse. I also have the right to practice what I want, wear a pentacle or perhaps a star and crescent or whatever symbol I have in my religious toolbox. I have the right, and it’s up to boys to practice restraint, not get on their high horses and silence girls, and not distract themselves. It’s the boy’s fault if a daughter or female or trans male to female gets attacked, not the victim themselves.

What is there wrong with dress codes in schools? A lot. Here’s what to look for in a potential candidate for your student’s school.

  1. If the boys have more freedom than the girls, when it comes to dress that shouldn’t be happening.
  2. If a girl is told not to wear a certain makeup, but nothing is said of boys and concealer, then that’s a red flag.
  3. If a strict policy on how long a girl’s skirt should be, that’s also a red flag.
  4. If a girl is given more strict controls on what kind of T-shirt the school accepts, and if she can’t wear shirts that express feminine principles such as the infamous “I heart boobies” shirt or bracelets, that’s also a red flag.
  5. If girls and boys have their own separate dress codes period, then there should be a talk with the principle writers of the code. Here are a few questions you should ask.

What should I do if my daughter is attacked? If the answer is a victim blaming “Then she should have worn a more conservative outfit”, then pull her out of the school or address the school board.

What is your policy on transgender students and their dress and identity and such? If the answer doesn’t satisfy you the parent, pull them out and address this with your government or school board.

Why are you more strict with girls than boys in your dress code? I wouldn’t recommend the why questions, but dress codes must be justified, and if the principal and school governing body says that girls’ bodies are a distraction, then here’s the next question.

Do you teach boys about the concept of restraint and respect for women and consent? Get a copy of the school’s health class textbook, the student edition, and read through it cover to cover. While you might think you don’t have time, this textbook might offer a glimpse into the school’s and the state’s view of women and girls’ sexuality and boys’ ability to respect women. Look at the purity lessons taught in some schools, and if you are able, get a copy of the health teacher’s lesson plans. If there’s something in that lesson plan that doesn’t satisfy you as a parent or makes you uncomfortable, something like the objectification lessons in some health classes dealing with abstinence only until marriage, speak promptly with the teacher in charge. You need to be proactive in explaining why you don’t feel comfortable with objectification lessons for your daughter or nonconforming child. If your child or teen was assigned male at birth, and is transitioning, you should consider this information a wakeup call and think about moving states and districts. Denver is a gender friendly place, and DPS has a special way of dealing with kids who are disabled or experience bullying. Above all, I’d like to say that a place like Denver public schools may be a good place to send transgender students who can’t fit in at a normal country school. Southern schools in places like Kentucky and Florida insist on abstinence and marriage ed for even their blind students, but let me say that marriage ed has flaws in it. Not every disabled female will marry, and most disabled men won’t. Please check out the MGTOW video I shared and it’s on YouTube, but it tells a lot about divorce and the problems plaguing blind men, and most of them encounter hypergamy, which is dangerous for all humanity.

What to do if your child experiences a dress code violation:

Make sure that you read the explicit note from the teacher or vice principal about your child’s dress code violation. It’s not like you’d send your youngsters to school in their birthday suit, so take a look at the specific violation. If you see a violation that doesn’t add up, call your school principal, and if they don’t respond, your school board president or a representative. For example, THS has been under the jurisdiction of the Brevard County School Board, but if you send your high schooler to Melbourne Central Catholic, you might want to contact your diocese, likely Orlando, and say you’re pulling out because like it or not, your child’s best interest should come first. IF it’s a school that has a charter, contact your local school board and the company responsible for the school’s charter, and suggest a meeting with these people. Here’s a script for said meeting should this occur.

 

Parent script for meeting with school officials and school board regarding student dress codes and violations:

Hello, my name is (insert your name here) and I am a parent of a child at your school. My child was sent home with a dress code violation that doesn’t add up, please explain why. Also, I’m considering my options for pulling my child from the school because (choose the following from the list below)

  1. My child is transgender and doesn’t conform to the standards set forth by societal gender expectations.
  2. My child is of a differing religion than other classmates, and should be considered when making rules about symbols for that religion. (insert name of religion here)
  3. My child is poor and we can’t afford the brands of shoes and clothes you and the classmates are wearing.
  4. We parents of this child are overwrought with work and can’t afford to pick our child up for this violation.

 

 

If you are using the script, pick any of the list items I just put here, and I hope this helps you navigate the rape culture that exists in schools like your local high school.

Disclaimer: Comments have been disabled due to frequent trolling and threats in this blog. Please discuss on Facebook or Twitter. You can also discuss directly with me if this is highly important. Thank you.

Beth

If You’re On the Front Lines

Disclaimer: Due to trolling comments I’ve received, all commenting directly has been disabled, so if you wish to comment, please do so on Twitter or Facebook.

Dear nurses, doctors, and others on the front lines,

If you are looking to make a difference in the lives of those with #covid19 this year, you should think before you move on over. Why? There are some things that nurses and doctors should look for in a group that does relief efforts for disasters like Corona Virus, so here are things you should know.

First, look at the org’s mission statement. Does it state any openly religious mission, the thought of sharing the gospel, and does it have expectations of signatures of this statement? IF an org says it does not discriminate against the LGBTQI+ and other minority groups, it should say so. You should see a statement similar to the following: we do not discriminate against those of a different race, ability, gender identity, core creed, color, or sexual orientation. If such language is in the mission statement, you should consider that a blessing. You can volunteer there.

Does the organization make you believe or sign something of a sworn affidavit that says you believe otherwise? Example, a news source confirms that Samaritan’s Purse forces its volunteers to sign a statement of faith discriminating against same sex marriage and transphobic lies. I’d like to point out that I don’t tolerate homophobia and transphobia either. Please make sure that when you sign up for volunteer hours with any organization, that it doesn’t do religious missions though its relief efforts may sound pure of heart. IF you’re a doctor and reading this, you should know that the Hippocratic Oath says clearly you should help all patients regardless of combative status in war. All patients means all patients, including blind folks, gay folks, you name it. Please feel free to comment otherwise if you think I missed something. Doctors and nurses should be doing their work because they want to help treat patients, not share a hateful passage from a Bible verse. Please, if you dare, read this.

The next post I’m going to write is about dress codes in public schools, and I will cover this topic carefully. I also have some examples from actual school dress codes that all parents should look for. This will include what not to do if you see certain things in a dress code. OF course, this next post will be helpful to parents researching the best most inclusive school for their son or daughter or nonconforming child altogether. And we all hope this corona virus thing calms down by the time school days are back.

Beth

Is Jared Kushner Worth America’s Time?

Dear readers,

Discrimination occurs every day in the communities at large. But most importantly, civilization has lost its lust for finding good places to live that are uniquely theirs. I want to point to the … well, what Eric Schlosser called the “McDonaldization of America.” But have you heard of Kushner Residences? There’s an episode of Dirty Money about this chain of residential housing units owned and operated by Jared Kushner, the so called patron saint of unqualified white men. I don’t suggest here that all white men are unqualified but there are unqualified men in every group. So let’s move on.

Jared Kushner, who is he? I knew he was Ivanka Trump’s husband, but why? The Kushners and the Trumps are recent features in a book called, you guessed it, American Oligarchs. So why do we as a democracy concern ourselves with Oligarchs? Maybe because they are either dangerous or cool to stare at when the time comes.

So who is Jared Kushner? Not only is he the Jewish husband of Ivanka Trump, daughter of Donal Trump, but he’s also a bad name when it comes to his business in housing. Kushner’s residential buildings all over the country have tenants and people reporting every manner of bad things happening. I don’t think it’s a corporate issue at the bottom, but it mirrors a lot of fast food national corporate culture. Kushner is to bad apartment buildings and tenants reporting weirdness in their buildings like leaky faucets and ceilings as McDonald’s and Wendy’s are to bad food practices, cattle abuse, and a myriad of other meat packing issues surrounding the fast food industry. Schlosser’s book Fast Food Nation might have been written twenty or nineteen years ago, but he’s right about one thing. We’ve been McDonaldized. Not only in the food service industry, but in residential apartments and buyouts. Kushner’s companies are crashing down but here’s something else: he declined to be interviewed for the Dirty Money episode. The residents who spoke on that episode were afraid of being evicted and retaliated against because they reported all this bad maintenance in their buildings. I don’t remember half of what they said, but one guy or gal reported a problem with her ceiling leaking. Imagine you had water dripping all over your mattresses and furnishings. That would gross me out if it was acid rain or something worse. We had similar problems here, but I think since Rose Communities bought the building, there has been efforts to make the place upgraded and seemingly more luxurious compared to other places. I’ve been living at Juanita Nolasco for 10 years and seen my share of problems, but it has become a Rose place, and Rose Communities in New York has standards for all the buildings, which on paper seem like a good sound byte. I’ve received new things here, but at Kushner’s apartments, nobody seems cared for. Yes, my managers are cool compared to those running the Kushner places. These apartments are not necessarily HUD or low income according to the episode I saw on Dirty Money on Netflix. But the tenants were being exploited financially and all that. One mother had a judgment against her, and lived at a Kushner building, and she reportedly had to pay up too much money, and she had no money for herself and her children. Kushner obviously has no empathy for this woman and countless other tenants reporting bad things happening at their buildings. Taht’s the summary of the episode of Dirty Money. Honestly, I’m glad Jared Kushner doesn’t own my building, and I don’t want him doing so because even though the Kushner family had stock in so much, they squandered it and tried to buy back what they could on the backs of the poor and downtrodden like the mother in the episode. I don’t know who finds Jared Kushner qualified to own buildings and exploit folks, but I hope his residential empire falls like all regimes fall. I wouldn’t want to live in a place where the ceiling leaked, for flies could infest my apartment. We had a bee fly up here, but somehow the exterminators took care of that. We had bugs in our windows, but then again, we share the world with the insects, so we have to be careful which ones we have to kill and which ones we can’t. Butterflies are fine, but ants? Bees? No.

I don’t also want to live in a building where half the walls are not painted, where construction is half done, where dust and dirt fall from the ceilings, mind the leaky part, but name a construction flaw and you got what Jared Kushner’s tenants had to deal with. Kushner thinks he can also be in charge of the world’s stockpile of masks and respirators and such, but who among men is more qualified? Probably someone with an M.D. degree. Dr. Fauci, if you read this, I’m all over this. You are amazing, but Jared Kushner is something else.

I want to dedicate this post to the ones who have been scarred for life after living in the Kushner empire. For those who think Jared will ascend to the throne and bar people from speaking, I think it won’t happen. God’s justice does wonders. To the single moms and tenants who’ve been hurt by the Kushner family financial stuff, take heart. You will get your day and karma’s going to come after those who exploited you.

Beth

P.S. No comments are allowed here directly on WordPress, but if you are nice enough, you can comment on this blog via other means such as Facebook and Twitter. Thank you for your considerations.

My Game confession: Audio Pong by Dusk Light Pro, Something You Should Play Too

Dear readers,

First and foremost, no comments are allowed here on this blog directly, but through other means such as Twitter and Facebook. Secondly, I want to call your attention to a great piece of software I have come to think is awesome on my Macintosh and iPhone, but this is also good for android and Windows too. Meet Audio Pong by Dusk Light Pro, AKA Purple Jam Audio, website will be posted below. It’s a pretty simple game of pong, so if you remember playing this in an arcade or you played pingpong, please check this out. The game objectives are simple: you are playing an audio version of pingpong, and you have to be the paddle. For the smartphone versions of this game, you use the right and left sides of your screen as the areas where you hit the paddle. For your pc and Mac versions, you use your right and left arrow keys to do much of everything in the audio pong game. First things first, gestures and keystrokes control the whole game, and you guys should download this game for one pound and 99 pence UK, or that translates to $2.59 U.S. which I did. Please use PayPal when you purchase the game. The smartphone versions are available in your app stores, either Google Play for android or simply App Store for Apple. It is a very great game, and the opponents are pretty wicked, meaning they are pretty amazing. I actually managed to win against two of my opponents, and the backgrounds change on you every time. Something else to keep in mind: the whole game is binaural so you’re totally immersed in the pong game and you get zapped into a whole new world while playing this. I’d like to thank my partner Trenton for hooking me up and getting me in turn addicted to this awesome thing. Please note that the designers of this game recommend you wear headphones, because yeah, you want the sounds to go to precise areas between right and left ears, and the goal is to score as many as you can. I will not spoil the opponents for you, so please go to the following website and check out this game. For everybody’s safety and security, again you must use paypal to purchase the games for your computers, but the smartphone apps are easy to purchase. Just pay for it through your respective app store.

http://www.purplejamaudio.com

Beth

P.S. Got any questions, follow Dusk Light Pro on Twitter, and note that this developer is easy to work with and responds within a good time if you have any questions or problems.

Disabling comments and moving the blog???

Dear readers,

Due to a trolling comment in which a young lady reported this blog to WordPress for defamatory content, and repeated calls for this blog to be censored because of names etc., I am being pressured to delete the site or take down all the bad posts. Well, here’s the deal: all information in this blog is accurate, and before I go any further, the trolls are gonna lose because I’m also disabling comments on this blog after today and after it is uploaded to WordPress’s org site, and we will still keep the progressive mode here. The lady’s comment was spammed because nobody needs to know about her reporting this blog to wordpress, and before anyone bashes me ove the head with this, the comments were few and far between. I’m sorry I have to do this, but at the advice of my psychotherapist, all comments from today forth will be disabled. Nobody can comment on the blog, and the only thing you will be able to do will be to simply read the blog. You may use other means to comment, but not WordPress. Thank you for your cooperation.

Beth

Quarantine Diary Volume 1: April 2, 2020

Dear readers,

Like many of you, I’d like to capture what has happened over the last two weeks in the Corona Virus pandemic that started with a Chinese wet market merchant customer who ate something awful. It’s not the fault of my friend Iris and countless Chinese and Vietnamese Americans, but that’s neither here nor there. This blog from this day forward will have a quarantine diary heading in the title, followed by a word snapshot of what is going on in my neck of the woods, so readers, keep on your toes and read along with this snapshot because it’s further important than anything else. Yes, there will still be a Carol Spinney project due sometime in the near future, as done by Hailey, and she will contribute this wonderful work along with me, her editor and the admin in this blog. However, I think blogs are a good source of snapshots of America during this time. Why am I doing this? Well, imagine an archaeologist from three thousand years later finds this, and studies it. What do you want the sociologists of the future to see? Well, I have seen my share of hurricanes, natural and humanmade disasters, and so much of my life is spent trying to tirelessly advocate for others with disabilities, but then I’d like to do snapshots of shadows in history, things like the corona virus. So let’s start with the point zero.

It all started with a bat. The wet markets in China were known for unsanitary conditions, and yes, I saw the bird flu thing. I read a National Geographic article on said subject. And I learned that viruses have sex. Crazy, but true. They swap information and mutate and the product of mutation is what we have right now. #Covid19 and SARS and MERS are all mutations of some sort of virus that had sex with another virus. Boy, that scares a lot of people, but viruses do mutate and transform so that vaccines don’t stop them. That is why we in America need a better healthcare system than we have now. We need to give every citizen top notch healthcare, and without for profit insurance companies getting in the way of people like a friend in Ohio who is pregnant and could have a high risk pregnancy because she has a possible uteran cancer, a possible heart condition and other things. We need to take care of our high risk women, black and white, the same way we do our rich women who don’t have high risks associated with pregnancy. I don’t want to see that friend of mine’s baby girl without her mommy, so please, America, take better care of her. Whether she owns businesses or does nothing, she knows what to expect.

In any case, what will I do with this entry? Well, let me take a word portrait of what is happening right now at this very moment in time, so that you, the reader can get a grasp of how bad it’s gotten.

 

I just received a notice on my apartment front door. It says that visitors are not allowed, and families and nonessential visitors are no longer allowed to just come here. This is a Rose Community decision, and nonessential does not include delivery folks, thankfully. We need folks like that to drop on by and put food in our fridge, and I’ve gotten a few deliveries from the Franciscans, and they’re pretty nice about it. The guy who delivered one of my lunches was Catholic, but since I was born that way, I could relate to his charitable offering. Yes, Catholics should offer their charitable giving more than ever, even if there are those who can’t. Yes, the Vatican should give of their riches, even the Pope would say so. The Pope Francis is amazing, let me say this. I still follow the Pope on Twitter, but I’d work with the dude if I had to.

The nonessential visitors, though. They’re not allowed here, and Rose Communities made that decision, to protect the communities, especially mine, and I paid my rent online.

Hopefully, my manager gets the check soon, and it goes to the property sooner, I don’t want anything to go wrong, but if it does, I’ll attach an extra 5 on the next rent because yeah. Late feees suck, but online checks are the only way we can pay without exposing others and ourselves to Corona Virus. Lots of online retailers and grocery delivery people need our backing, too.

I’d like to take another moment and dedicate a paragraph or two to the ones on the front lines. IF you’re a nurse and reading this, I see you. You need all the help you can get fighting Corona Virus at its worst. You need all the help caring for patients with ventilators, and I hope we have enough to help my baby survive. I’m talking about my partner, and his bout with the flu was not something to play with. If you’re a doctor or nurse reading this, please, please note that I give my gratitude to you and all the good works you’re doing to save this country and most importantly, the human race. We don’t need this right now, neither does anyone else.

Thank you so much for reading this, everybody. I want to let everybody know there are going to be rules for commenters on the blog, and they will be posted below:

  1. No threats or trolling.
  2. No hate speech.
  3. Do not comment if the comment does not line up with what the topic is or what the blog stands for.
  4. Do not comment if your comment could be seen as spam, see above rules for exactly what is unacceptable.
  5. Please feel free to put links in your comments if you want to show me resources, but those resources could be subject to fact checking.
  6. Please feel free to offer only constructive criticism, as being a writer, I want to get better, but I don’t want cut downs.
  7. Do not talk down to me about my disability or other problems I might have at the moment.

Those are the rules, so please, read this and follow the rules posted here. I am happy to have readers along for this journey, and as for the quarantine diaries, they won’t happen every day.

Beth

How to Help Children Solve Problems: Dragonland Through the Ages

Dear readers,

This one’s for the parents out there whose kiddos are familiar with Dragon Tales. How many of you guys are familiar with the fears and emotional things that kids have and all the television shows that claim to have the answers? Well, Dragon Tales doesn’t have the answers, only that there are many ways to solve a problem. Such a thing could be applied to math problems as wel as the typical social conflicts, bar none. Dragon Tales’s origins came from the retired educator Ron Rodecker, who was drawing dragons while recovering from a quadruple bypass surgery to treat heart diseases. The dragons for him were a way of depicting the fears of all things, including death, not succeeding, etc etc. Someone was inspired by those drawings, and those drawings became the show we all knew and loved, Dragon Tales.

So you might be wondering, what the hell is the show about? Well, let’s break it down so we can all get a good understanding of that show. Emmy and Max find themselves in many adventures in Dragonland, and each tale takes place in this land of dragons and other such creatures. The children are six, in Emmy’s case, and four, in Max’s case. Now, think about it. Kids love imagination, so dragons are part of that imagination. Cassie is one of the dragons in the stories, and she’s all confident, and sometimes a bit timid, shy, quiet, whatever. There are other characters in the story, but my favorite one happens to be Cassie, I call her little Miss Confidence. You can watch Dragon Tales on YouTube, as the PBS syndication ended years ago, but it’s worth a watch. It actually should be duly noted that Dragon Tales received lots of grants and federal funding as kids were not only educated, but entertained. Dragon Tales reminds me of something that we all have to overcome, fears and handicaps. There are several disabled characters in this show, but the messages are more positive than most TV shows we sometimes watch. There’s a blind unicorn, a paralyzed dragon that can’t necessarily fly around, and there’s an elderly character that makes an appearance. IF your kids love a bit of imagination, they should totally invest their time in watching Dragon Tales. Note to adults: don’t make your children watch the torturous youtube poops because it just doesn’t work that way. Dragon Tales is a show I’d recommend for all kids, regardless of disability or whether they have a fear of snakes, spiders, whatever. These dragons know how to teach children confidence, emotional and social skills, and many other things that some kids’ TV shows fail at, and I’m talking to you, Teletubbies. No offense, but some of those preschool shows are quite annoying, but I’ll have to give Dragon Tales a good rating and I would hope that Watch Mojo has it ranked.

Thank you all for reading this blog entry. If you have any ideas, please comment here.

Beth