MY New Life

Dear readers,

I’d like to come forth and tell you all that Trenton, while we’ve split amicably, is still my friend and perhaps he could be a great roommate. Clayton, on the other hand, wants to be my partner, so yeah, I am letting him do this. I will be Clayton’s lover, partner, friend, and loyal supporter. Clayton Jacobs has done something else as well, he’s confessed he loved me, wants to stand by and let me be me. HE looks and acts like the stuff of dreams: he’s sweet, funny, brave, strong, true, loyal, fun to be around, and some aspects of him require a good sense of humor. Clayton is also a very handsome guy, some of my fans here have noticed that Clayton is a handsome guy. Five feet ten inches, very sleek, reddish blonde hair thicker than normal for a typical white guy but that’s great actually, beautiful blue eyes, a big smile every time I notice him and I did so at the airport. His face is beautiful, I’ve even touched it, it’s just pretty awesome looking. His nose is bigger and more prominent than mine, but oh well. Mine is a bit short, but he has this long narrow nose and he has a lovely sense of who he is, and he’s very grounded with what he wants to do.

For those of you wondering, no, I’m not kicking Trenton to the curb the way others do. I’m advocating for Trenton and I to continue being friends, continue being roommates if possible here, but here’s the kicker: Clayton and I want to continue being partnered with each other and stay for life. I just hope this doesn’t break, and moreover, I want Clayton to be my protector, lover, and friend for life. We both want the same things, we both have the mindset to get this done, and he is sweeter than candy. I’ll never forget the night I came home with him from Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport to the town or city of Mesa, Arizona, and we noticed each other. Should I say? Well, his hips are very strong, his whole body close to mine was like being placed in a rocket ship, about to launch into outer space, or deep space perhaps. When we first kissed, held each other, made love with one another, we were soaring high above what was possible for me, especially me, at this time. His life is my life, we are the reflections of each other, but for me, he is the strength I need to get going in life. MY parents certainly don’t need to know what is going on between myself and Clayton, and we’re going to rock this life together like nobody else.

The one thing I want us both to do is heal from whatever traumas but especially for Clayton, I want him to know that there is nothing more awesome than the good things about him. HE has had a toxic and rather violent upbringing, which could have translated to something worse for both of us, I won’t go into details. Most kids from violent homes become violent adults, but not this guy. HE at least has the determination to heal and become someone worth the time of others, to become a strong and best version of himself. I’m proud of him and I’m also proud to say he’s moving to Denver, will obtain a counselor for solo therapy, and eventually we’ll do couples counseling so that we can navigate each other’s particular lives together, heal together, and become stronger and better and break this cycle. I do not under any circumstances want a father, I said, I wanted a guy who would treat me with love and kindness. Clayton is kind, sweet, intelligent, smart, a bit sassy or should I say rebellious? He’s a rebel in all senses of the word, but the best thing about him is he’s willing to admit his faults, and together, we will rise. You know what I mean when I say we will rise? We will, indeed and forever, rise.

I want to let you guys know how we all got started. I can vaguely remember five years ago and I’ve told this story before, but if you haven’t checked out his Twitter space, you don’t know the story. First, I wrote something on Facebook about girls being labeled bossy and boys being labeled leaders, etc etc. Clay supported me all the way, and even if we had fights and differences, he always seemed to come right back around and touch my heart. Five years later, well, it all began with a breakup on his end. He broke up with a prior partner, and this partner wasn’t very close to him in the end because the guy was apathetic toward him. I won’t write down this guy’s name out of respect, but Clayton carried on. I said to him one day I’d give him a lot of affection, love, and all the stuff and what have you he wanted. On Clayton’s twitter space last night, he was all, “I saw her and it was like Bam, she’s the one.” Clayton and I are excited to begin this long and eventually prosperous journey, and I’m excited too because now, I get to kiss the love of my life at New Year’s Eve parties, I get to make love to a guy who has never tried to throw me out, and he understands how the abuse has affected me as well. NOt his, but my own. I have had unhealed relationship traumas because of past boyfriends who were just plain stupid, either they were stupid or unwilling to give themselves to me the way Clayton has done so lovingly. HE has the love in his heart to do things, and he has taken steps to make sure we can have a life together. Clayton and I are very close to being together at last, forever perhaps. I don’t know if there is such thing as till death do we part though, because marriage is fleeting so much so in my opinion, Trenton and I at least did not have a full legal wedding. I was never Mrs. Trenton Matthews, so to be honored with a name like Mrs. Clayton Jacobs, this is a big huge step. I don’t want to jump the gun on Clayton, but he did say he’d marry me, and it was only a matter of when. I’m excited but I’m not gonna reveal any more detail about any such things, not yet.

What I do know is that taking his name would be a big honor, and it would be a bigger honor to carry the little lives that he and I create. It does take two to tango. Furthermore, Clayton has the best personality that matches mine. I am a bit scared of posting this because I don’t know what he’ll think when he sees this. I’ve had people tell me that I shouldn’t be with Clayton, or should be exclusive to Trenton. I was tempted to close the door too, after a young lady from Georgia suggested that mine and Clayton’s relationship should fail. Well, she’s gone from my pages, gone from my phone, I can’t stand this woman anymore.

As for the unhealed relationship trauma, Clayton is one who wants to help me overcome and conquer all the traumatic stuff from Jason, Blake, and Joey. Unlike Jason, Blake and Joey, Trenton is not leaving my side yet. He’s never going to, even when I give birth to child number 1 or 2. Who knows. I don’t want to have more than 2 unless I have money to handle it all. Clayton wants to invest and work and all of that. I can’t wait to start my life with Clayton, and he can’t wait to do this either. We’re going to be a great team, and Clayton is going to be the best teammate and lover and friend I could ever ask for. HE is though wilder than the roses on the prairie in Iowa, he has the gentlest aura and most awesome way of saying I love you in so many different ways. We’re not exactly lost on the Southwest United States and the best cuisine is here in Arizona or colorado. I am sitting in my apartment in Colorado, and Clayton has the best outlook on moving to Denver, he’s going to hang with me and we’ll just have so much fun together. He’s been a tower of strength, an anchor even when Trenton and I were having arguments, fights, and the like. I didn’t want to reveal things because Trenton and I truthfully have a good friendship. We will not stop being friends, but Mom doesn’t think we should even have anything to do with each other. What does she know, however? Guardianizing Trenton was definitely not smart, and he is not a guardianized man, he’s free to make decisions, and Mom should realize that. I have a few things to say now.

Clayton, my beloved one, you are the best thing that’s ever happened, and I wasn’t expecting you to be so up front with me. You’ve been the best I’ve ever seen, heard, tasted, all of that. IF I had written a juicy romance novel earlier, I would have made you my main character. Perhaps I could, but I’m not a reader of romance. However, you are the sower of my plants, the tender of my garden, and many wild roses shall I bring forth to you, many more I will plant too. You and I will blossom into something special, beautiful, and truie. I love you.

Beth

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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