It is with excitement that I present to you a proposed thought. I may be getting a job at a remote company that does music lessons, and I’d rather teach the students there for the experience, and then maybe do private music lessons for young ones and adults alike, $25 and under negotiable for kiddos and young adults in college, and furthermore, if I do private lessons, it would mean the students would totally want to learn more. I want to do piano and voice, but with the company I’d like to learn to be a better person, especially with the soft skill of not being critical. I confess I’m critical of myself, very critical of myself because the criticality came with my parental upbringing. I was upbraided for being a so called egotistical diva, and it was bad for me to even hear my mother mock me in front of others, saying things as though she’d written my letters to the Backstreet Boys. Well, I’ve got news for you, Mom, Florida schools so don’t deserve me because of how dangerous they have become. The governor of that state is dangerous, and his white supremacist agenda is obviously flooding everybody with fear, which is what he wants to feed off of. That’s what Conservatives do, and one of those agenda items is getting rid of LGBTQIA+ peoples, which I won’t put up with. The company I wish to work for is pro LGBTQIA+, which that lines up with my values as a person. Yes, I had been bred in a Conservative household, but I shed that kind of skin so fast a snake couldn’t shed it quicker. While I am writing the blog post here, the Handmaid’s Tale is playing. My job would require me to use a webcam, something I’ll prep even if I don’t get this because I wanna do Zoom meetings in the kitchen and living room on my macintosh because hell, I’d love to do that instead of holding the phone and I wanna use a boom arm with my camera so I can clip it to the right level and have it there against my face level area, and I need a wide angle one, and that’s thanks to one of my good buddies for pointing it out.
I want to also furthermore tell you all that my primary care doctor is amazing, and has decided to put in a good word and a referral for me to the women’s care clinic. I can’t wait to have my own little child, and I am thoroughly looking forward to investigating Colorado’s support possibilities but right now, the job has to be part time, and when Baby is on board, I need to know how long it will be before I’m eligible for maternity benefits, including leave and such. Examples of the use case would be if I just had the baby, and between lessons, I could stop to care for this little prospect, but during lessons, I’d have to make sure someone, preferably a father or both the guys, they’d watch the baby while I’m working to support the kid. OF course, when I’m in the hospital, if it’s on a weekday where I would usually do workaday things, I’d have to text the boss and say, “Sorry I’m in labor, damn it, can’t work today. If there’s a sub who can fill in for my students/a way that I can make it up to you later, please let me know but seriously,” I’d say, “I’m in labor.” The boss would also have to understand in any job situation that pregnancy will mess with a woman. Yes, I ID as female, but I’m a staunch ally of transgender folks, and I’ll also want to include that I’ve participated in pride parade in Colorado, made friends with lots of LGBTQIA+ folks, including, I won’t say which ones are lovers or friends or both. I’m seriously considering not using, for example, one of my lovers as a reference, just to avoid biased statements so the boss has a neutral opinion or good professional opinion. I don’t want to use Florida people, no ex boyfriends, and to hell with some of the people in Colorado who worked at CCB. What if they speak ill of me and say I’m too liberal? Well, I do have one lover who insisted I use him as a reference, you can guess who. Trenton lives with me, so whatever. He doesn’t have my last name, so it works fine. He hasn’t known me from babyhood. So there you go. Then I have to get some sort of thing from another friend, and yes, I will also use a girlfriend who’s said I could use her, but still, I’m nervous as hell. A resume needs three references, but I want more than that so I stand out. But the big thing is I don’t want anything weird coming out in the reference page of my resume. I’m going to have to get back into LinkedIn, but I will be deleting folks. I don’t quite know why I even use that darn page.
Now, I hope you guys understand why I love my other guy, and I won’t have you guys guessing any more. But Clayton just wrote this beautiful note to the DA, and I’m being a bit half sarcastic about it, but this letter pretty much spelled out how the Arizona state peoples have been violating his rights, not honoring the auxiliary aids thing in the ADA or Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, furthermore, the date and time were objected to because of my arrival. I want to thank this man for forwarding my flight details to the people in charge. They better not accuse him of lying, or even worse, making it up, because he’s not one to lie about things like this. They can call my phone, they can harass me all they wanna, but I’m not letting them steal a great opportunity to meet with a friend and … well, we’ll just announce this when the time is right.
My history with guys has been so so. Trenton being the best, I’m going to do all it takes to include him even if it meant visiting him in the summer in Colorado, and going to Clayton in the winter. I don’t quite know how to knit things together properly in my heart, but no male god is going to tell me what to do and how to live my life. I’m not saying Clayton is official, he’s not quite official as a primarily committable second partner yet, I have to see him first. HE knows this. HE’s a sweet and nothing but true and genuine and loyal friend, and I can’t wait to see this friendship grow into … again I don’t know where we’ll go.
The big thing is that the women’s clinic will reach me soon. I will do a video appointment if they require it, and I can’t see the facilities so I’ll ask them to give me a private tour, nobody else allowed but staff, in the facility. I want to make sure the facility is safe, has a good safety protocol for what could happen, and I’ll present them a scenario about blindness and disabled parenting and such. They will be either condescending or not. The Colorado law says blind parents can have kids, and can have them placed with them. I will explain about the other things between me and all the other friends and lovers in my life. I will also demand that no custodial disputes be settled in court, but out of court. I want whatever happens to my kid never to be because Mommy and Daddy are fighting and can’t get along. Clayton loves me dearly, and I can’t wait to … well, maybe meet the little one that comes along, I wanted a dark skinned kid because paler skin equals being targeted for a white supremacist indoctrination. I want my baby and child and children to be raised pro black, pro LGBTQIA+, and with lots of gay and trans folks they can look to should they come out that way. They will not have to address relations we pick by title, Aunt or Uncle for example, like they can just call my buddy Christine Christine, and Jennifer the lady in chorus they can just call Jennifer or Jenny. Whatever the kid prefers. Jennifer Wensen, one of my friends, doesn’t have to be Aunt Jennifer either. I don’t want my other buddy Tina to be called Aunt Tina either. No titles required, except for professional folks in teaching, but don’t use Mrs. Example, I’m not Mrs. Matthews, I’m Miss or Ms. Taurasi, so to hell with the titles that denote marital status. I like the governor’s approach to that. the Messrs. Polis, for example, they’re a gay couple, but oh, okay, one of them is a Marlin something or other different last name, but Jared and Marlin have a couple sons, and they’re great. I wanna actually meet the governor, and talk to him a bit about improving blindness services in Colorado, making Colorado the best state for blindness services, bar none. Here are the ways I’d like to do this without being a politician:
- Blind pension should be instituted that doesn’t ever go away with SSI or jobs.
- Blindness should be classified as what it is, not sightless, visually impaired, shut up. IF you’re blind, it’s okay to use the word blind. Trenton is so severely visually impaired he’s classifiable as blind, so he’s blind. Clayton and I? Well, we’re born blind, completely, and that means if classified as such and completely blind is both of us, we should be eligible for more services that help, not hinder. I don’t think caregivers hinder, but we need to also do the next item in the list.
- No guardianship for all Coloradans, especially those who are elders and disabled folks. Natural and foster guardianship would be allowed though for the kiddos, and that is needed to protect the kids from abuse or other things.
- If a custodial dispute comes up with blind parents involved, if either one or both parents are blind, we need to evaluate what the kid feels with each parent, and the judge will decide who gets some primary custody. Example, let’s say a sighted woman took advantage of Trenton, and had a baby with him. The girl is sighted, but abuses Trenton’s offspring and says, “I don’t like you.” Custody disputes ensue, and in the plan I am thinking about, Trenton would automatically get sole custody if it can be seen by doctors say that the girl is abusing the kid, and they need to also count emotional and sexual abuse of the child as factors of custodial parentage for the kid. This way, according to my plan even Clayton would have sole custody of his child, not an abusive potential other who might kill her because she can’t handle parenting. Most vilicide cases happen because a stupid and ableist and … should I say another word like deranged?, parent decides they can’t handle the kid and regret bringing the child into the world. In the case of one such, the mother said her daughter sounded like a robot, and decided she’d drown or burn the little woman. Not acceptable. I don’t sympathize with vilicide perps. I don’t sympathize with murderers, not on any terms. I’m seriously throwing in scenarios here, but Colorado courts must side with a caring disabled parent, and if the parent is abusive, disability or no disability, that parent does not get custody. So examples, Jason my ex, if he begs me for some time with his own offspring after he abuses the child, I’d say, “Sorry, big shot, but you’re not getting any custody because the doc said you were hitting and beating the kid up. You could have killed my child.” I know Clay would never ever hurt a living soul, not even a fly. Well, I could be exaggerating, but if he squashes a bug for real, I’d be okay with that. Scorpions sting like the dickens, so I’d let him get that thing out. I’d let him kill the damn thing. I don’t want scorpion stings, so there you have it. Spiders too, if I see one, damn, I’m not kidding.
- We need Braille legislated in to our education. We also need blind kids to learn comprehensive sex education, which would include not only anatomy and familiarization with the terminology and such, but consent, consent, and more consent. Dr. Fridas would be exceedingly proud of me for saying this. Donna Fridas may be Catholic, but she affirms all people, including transgender folks, gay folks, a variety of peoples. It’s thanks to her book on consent, written for everybody of course, that I think consent should be a huge part of all sex ed for all students, including the blind. Clayton and Trenton would benefit had they been under such a plan, and I wouldn’t be hurt so badly, but all blind females especially should be on the lookout for ableist parental guardianship threats, and be taught how to stall and halt such things.
- Blind people should be learning stuff from each other, but Colorado doesn’t have a huge blind community compared with the sighted. I’d be damned if anyone thought that blind people are stupid. They’re not stupid, but the sighted supremacist community should be put in check, severely. I want people to approach us blind folks with curiosity appropriate for the age of the person, and be curious to know how a blind person lives. Let us all be curious creatures, but blind people are not the zoo animals, we are your friends and neighbors, your daughters and sons, your mom and dad, your aunts and uncles, friends, lovers, and so many other things in life.
- Finally, I think a blind person should be in charge of Colorado’s blind population, and I totally agree with Clayton’s blind empowerment thing, but the trouble is executing such. I want to take over the CCB and rename it simply as the Blindness Center of Littleton, and I’m sorry, but we need to reverse the ban on one of my friends, give all blind females who survived the NFB’s sexual abuse stuff a chance to put their anger in to action. Anyone who wants a baby can have that baby, and I won’t pay for abortions unless the mother’s life is at stake, or she says please do. If a blind teenager is sexually assaulted, I’m going to kick the perp out faster than a hurricane. I will also institute better supports at the Center in Littleton, maybe we’ll make a slight change and still call it CCB but no longer with the NFB. We’d have an unaffiliated center, and we’d have to pull a George Orwell’s Animal Farm style of co-op with certain sighted businesses and groups, but one way or another, make Littleton a blind friendly town, and honor those who went before us and who will come after. People will no longer see Ray or Diane McGeorge’s names on the places of shelter, but instead, we will rename the apartments to honor someone who’s truly spelling out revolution in action. Blindness and empowering blind people is important, but we need to meet the person where they are, and I’m getting back my confidence in the kitchen, and I’m doing it a little step at a time. Baby steps. I made a green bean casserole, and it turned out delicious. I was shocked that it also had a spice kick.
Thank you all for reading, and I hope to see some good things come from the blog soon. Blindness ought not to be feared, and neither should I as a person.