I wrote something I probably should clarify. When I mentioned immigrants in Minnesota last year, as I was talking about recovery and therapy and how a disabled person can get the right tools they need, I wanted to point out a couple of things. But I didn’t have time to do this. One, Minnesota and especially Minneapolis, Minnesota, is the largest Somali diaspora in the United States as far as I know. My ex was a Somali born American citizen and he knows about it. The thing with some if not most immigrant groups of Somalis and certain kinds of Muslim families is that they go by a really antiquated system of honor. It’s all about that one stupid H word that is written in my earrings: honor. Let me explain what a Somali girl in Minnesota might face.
If she is six or seven, as in the Marehan clans, or even five or four, as in some other clans of the greater tribes, she is cut. Yes, I mean, razor between the legs and all that bad stuff. It’s a dangerous ritual that perpetuates the purity myth which hurts little girls and women all over Africa and the world. We should be banning FGM, female genital mutilation, very soon. In Denver, I haven’t seen so much as a lady lift a razor to a little girl’s genitalia, but it is still a dangerous ritual. Certain sects of islam prefer to cut the girl as young as six, and I read an article about such a dangerous ritual performed on one such girl by a female pediatrician, one who might have been passed off as a cutter. The cut, the girl called it, was known as a Patna, and it was a dangerous ritual that left the poor young woman sexually handicapped in a lot of ways. Men get all the pleasure in some areas of the world, and it bothers me that women can’t experience that same pleasure. When a woman’s clitoris is removed, it really messes up her body and makes it altogether difficult to bear a child, and one woman I read the memoir of did just that. Fadumo Korn was married and had several children, she was a big time activist with Somali women and is against FGM. The cutting of girls is illegal and can be prosecuted as child abuse, of course.
This is a harmful custom that should never be legal in the United States, as is another custom I’m about to discuss. Child or forced marriage.
In Massachusetts, it is legal for thirteen-year-olds to get married, but what is the point! The Ayaan Hirsi Ali foundation has written and spoken with a lot of girls whose stories are told on their website, http://www.theahafoundation.org/
The AHA Foundation tells one such story of a girl in the Virgin Islands, now this is not Muslim but still Muslims do this anyway. The girl dreamed about marrying a good man and wearing a mermaid gown, so the story goes, but she ended up traumatized, forced to serve a sexual abuser’s purpose. This is child marriage, a perversion of what marriage truly is, which is the love between two consenting adults of either the same or differing genders. So what if it’s a gay marriage? It must be done between two consenting adults, that means eighteen. I’ve heard from an old friend and a cousin of my ex that there are young girls, eighteen in fact, or even sixteen who agree to marry a guy old enough to be their grandfather. I can’t stand the idea of being married to an old man, so why should any other girl or woman think of this? This is a cross cultural issue, and there is data to suggest that child marriage only makes the poverty system cycle a lot more vicious in scope. Immigrant groups who want to practice child marriage or honor related violence and crimes such as the one that killed Nur AlMaleki in Arizona should definitely not be allowed here. Mr. Maleki was a vicious psychopath who was bred in a culture that said, I will kill my daughter if she doesn’t submit to all the men in her life, and doesn’t marry the guy who’s desperate for a green card. That kind of violence is accepted in Maleki’s culture because it has been the linchpin of such education of girls since time .began.
Let me explain the signs and symptoms of honor violence as given to me through the AHA’s honor violence course. There are some obvious ones and on another hand, not so obvious ones.
- You have a fourteen-year-old client, for example, who says, “I’m engaged.” Jump in and ask questions about the guy she’s engaged to, and ask whether she chose this or not. Likely, she did not.
- The parents act like total psychopathic stalkers, following the girl around and threatening to pull her out of school. If you are a teacher reading this, take this seriously. If a man comes barging into your school and says, you will never see my daughter in class again, you should take this seriously. Ask if she’s going to be married, and make sure the police are called as soon as humanly possible for this to be prosecuted as child abuse.
- If your student, client, or customer reports that she was attacked by her brother or father, time to bring in the big guns. Honor killing is no joke, and it happens here in the U.S. Don’t forget to make sure the girl is transferred to foster care and given proper shelter and food before prosecution can begin. Make sure the man is locked up before he can carry out his crime, and there is something else to remember. IF the crime is carried out, an impartial jury will convict the man of murder and hopefully, in the first degree.
If you want to read the AHA Foundation’s website, I’ve posted it above. Please look at the stories, and realize that FGM and forced marriage are harmful customs that unfortunately, immigrant groups are bringing with them. I hate to be racist or single out groups of people because of cultural practices, but FGM and forced marriage are harmful to girls and women. Period. If the women in my life can’t read this post, and honestly stop apologizing, especially for honor killing men who want to make their daughter obey, then I don’t know what to say. Teachers and therapists should be on the look out for all this because some but not all immigrants are guilty of this. I have seen stuff about clitoridectomies in the United States in the early years of the nineteenth century. Doctors would do this to make women submit, and now they can’t do it anymore because we know what will happen to women who get this procedure done. Forcing a girl to wed when she’s too young to understand what sex is and what sex does is harmful across all groups of people, but the immigrants in Somalia who come here sometimes don’t get that concept. We need to do a better job of showing them through example what love looks like, in this case not cutting your daughter’s clitoris off and not marrying your young ones off as young as twelve for heaven’s sake. When a girl is fourteen or even seventeen, she should be able to think about her future on her terms, her terms only. This means that the girl can consider going to university, something Ayaan Hirsi Ali actually did. She escaped her forced marriage, but not FGM. She was subjected to this at five years old, and so was her late sister, Haweya. May God hold Haweya close as she is mourned in people’s lives, for I thought she’d get paradise in the Muslim sense, but she has rested in the arms of her goddess or maker or whatever God she believes in for years. And she could have been married too, but she did not do that either. She never went to college.
The truth of the matter is that not all immigrant groups bring harmful practices to our nation’s soil, but we need to root out all patriarchal crap from all groups of human beings, including but not limited to violence against women and disabled women, girls, and minorities. We need to smash the entire system to the ground and create a cooperative union that includes and lets people have what they need. Jobs are going to be lost to automation, a topic I could cover in another post, so we need to think about a myriad of different things like universal income, universal suffrage, universal everything. We need to set the adult age limits at eighteen, period. This includes child marriage, and if any man wanted me at seventeen, I’d turn in the guy for statutory rape charges. Period. Whether the girl wants it or not, seventeen-year-old children do not need to have sex with forty-year-old adults who are obviously entitled, male, and patriarchal, and don’t get it at all. Here are some examples of girls who might have ended up in statutory rape situations. In fact, here’s two words for you: porn actresses. Those girls in the pro amateur porn flicks you watch every day could be nineteen, sure, but did they get exposed to a culture of sexual dominance by men? Surely they must have, and the violent porn against teenage young adults is frightening. Watch Hot Girls Wanted on Netflix for more on pro am porn.
Of course, the immigrants are probably not going to watch porn a lot, some will just like some won’t. However, one must take into account that tickling is fine with me, but if I were to create a glorious queendom of women and girls around this old world, here’s what I’d see:
- No male dominant pornographic films.
- No FGM or forced marriage.
- Gays and lesbians would live alongside their straight peers and not get swallowed up in hate crimes.
- Women would no longer have to face being sold for bride prices all over the place.
- Catalogue bride services would be illegal especially in areas where the men take advantage of women and girls.
- Ninety day fiancé? Well, that’s a pushover. But I never liked some of the men on there, and some of the women would be totally not sure of themselves either. But ninety day fiancé would not highlight the exploitation of foreign folks for gain, especially foreign women. A lot of those brides are Russian, Colombian, and other immigrant groups looking to snag a visa as far as I’m concerned. The ninety day thing is too much of a rush. Maybe TLC should get better ideas for shows that don’t encourage, for lack of a better word for it, mompetition’s, competitions among mothers about being mothers. And over sexualizing girls will be illegal.
- Girls will take karate class in school, and they will be the most badass girls in the queendom.
- All the CEO’s and chairpersons of committees would be either female or sexual minorities, but because males are exhibiting less and less of the ability to lead, less of those on the top rungs of ladders.
There’s so much I’d throw in to my queendom, but you all should know, since this would not be a kingdom, I would never allow a male to rule over my world. Ever. Trenton for example. He’s just a handsome prince. That’s all, and he won’t be any further than Prince Philip was in Queen Elizabeth II’s world. She is pretty badass if you ask me.
Thank you all for reading, and I will clarify anything that needs clarifying.