This is a very important topic for me, as I have been treated and diagnosed with mental health problems before, but these mental health problems are, and I will iterate this carefully, they are not a costume to be worn, joked about, or made fun of in any way. Let me tell you guys, I’m okay with the Joker, only in one way: that Batman throws him back into the Asylum, where he belongs, after all he is probably in need of treatment as much as the next guy. If you’re wondering what costumes are appropriate for yourself, your loved one, your child, look below.
- There is a wide variety of princess costumes and yes, even guys could wear this. Put something on a wheelchair and it becomes a princess carriage. I’m not kidding. Target has special costumes for kids in wheelchairs, so now you can accessorize your wheelchair bound child and their chair itself. It’s something I might not have seen in my youth, but it works.
- The usual princess and pirate thing might not work for everyone, so try dressing up as an occupation you’d like to be instead. For example, if you’re a Catholic person interested in the religious life, you could go old school with your Halloween party and say dress up as a favorite saint, a nun, or your own patron saint. Or even more, if you’re a guy interested in being a priest or something, you could dress up as either a priest or a favorite saint, given that the sacramental garments are sacred and can’t truly be worn outside church. Priests in my life did not do this, but still. If I asked someone if they wanted to be a judge, they could dress up as one too. Be whatever you’d like to be.
- Food costumes are popular these days. I had a girlfriend dress up as … you wouldn’t believe this, but spaghetti and meatballs, and forget the cheese. Cheese and meatballs make spaghetti all the more better, but dressing up as a favorite dish is something comical and fun. If you want to be a chocolate bar, wear something brown. Chocolate is brown, am I right? Or you could dress up as Skittles, M&M’s, or anything else you like that’s sweet and tasty. You’ll make everybody laugh and start a conversation.
- DIY costumes that make fun of every spam email you’ve received are a favorite of mine, though I never tried it myself. I’d really like to see what people think of someone dressed as something called The Spam Monster. All you need to do is save up a month’s worth of junk email, a piece of masking tape to write something on, and you must wear black or white under the paper you’re going to tape on yourself. With Scotch tape, make a little vest or shirt with your junk emails, and the things on the email, the writing should show so people get a glimpse of what the hell is going on in your mind. Next, put the shirt or robe or little vest over your black or dark or white clothes, then put the masking tape on your forehead. Write the word INBOX in big bold lettering on your forehead masking tape. This will surely start a conversation.
- Then there’s the usual monsters, or you could try objects of horror. Such things might include vampires, ghosts, and zombies. If you’re doing a zombie walk, do one if you find it. I know Denver had a Zombie Crawl for a while. Denver’s Zombie crawl is just one such thing, but there are plenty of zombie crawls to be attended. I’m not so much a fan of zombies as I am more a fan of The Mummy, and I could throw in my costume the Princess Amanet, who recently made an appearance in the recent The Mummy installment. I like Amanet because she really doesn’t think guys should simply take from women, and in ancient Egypt, women did not have as much say as men, not till Queen Hatshepsut came around and said, okay, I will rule in my own name. Her stepson was the heir to the throne at one time, but I think Amanet has quite a character built on some things and not others. I could scare the living crap out of people by dressing as Amanet before she was mummified, minus the dagger. What I need is really ancient dressing and some form of headgear, plus the golden beard of the Egyptian Queen. And makeup, and then, voila. That’s just another idea of throwing princesses and horror in the same category.
- You could dress up as an item, something that doesn’t get eaten. For example, dress up as something like dishwashers or a dustpan, a broom or something else. If your hair is thick and straight, and you don’t know what to do, dress as a broom. It might work, provided you don’t get put on your head and used to sweep the floor.
- Celestial bodies and creatures of the celestial type are also another thing you could try. Dressing up as a star or even an entire unearthly planet might work. You could try even dressing up as aliens from a science fiction franchise, Star Wars anyone? Or Dr. Who or Star Trek. Those are all good choices for science fiction and celestial stuff. You could also dress up as mythical creatures in nature. Unicorns, anyone?
These are the things that might interest you, your child, or your other loved ones. But please steer clear of dressing up as blind people, deaf people, and I don’t think it is a good idea to dress as Donald Trump either, even if his political leanings are good somehow. Trump doesn’t get it. He doesn’t deserve to be a Halloween costume, and dressing up as a favorite movie character might suit you best in this case. Don’t use hate symbols, and Hitler is out of the question for costuming. I will never dress even as Magda Goebbels, as she was practically the wife of the right hand asshole who practically ruined Germany in the 1940s, and sacrificed one of her family members because she hated him. She used to be a Friedlander, but no, I don’t know how she could have married a top dog Nazi commando. So yeah, I would never dress as her for Halloween.
However, if I were to choose a costume, I would choose a person who actually did good things. Try Joan of Arc, for instance. Yes, she might have had a mental health thing too, but Joan was a saint, and nobody back then could prove otherwise. She was burned at the stake for being a witch, which today is just ridiculous. St. Joan of Arc actually freed France from English rule, thank Goodness. I admire Joan’s courage, but still, there are others.
I could also dress as Athena the Greek Goddess of Athens, wisdom, and so much more. Athena sounds like a really good goddess, either her or Artemis, goddess of the hunt. I could choose others, but if I chose Artemis, someone on my Facebook might kill me because she has a cat by that name. Oh well, but I do love Artemis, and her image is in a book called The Immortals, which is the first series book in this collection called Olympus Bound. I personally can’t wait for the next Olympus Bound book to come out, but still I love Greek Goddeesses. I could also try another character from a book or movie franchise I like. Those are just a few things I like about Halloween, being free to express yourself within reason.
So what are you going to be for Halloween? Try to come up with something good, something scary fun, or something laughable or something neat. Comment here, and I’ll see what I can do at some point.