Letter to the People Who Think I Shouldn’t Be In a Relationship At All

This post does not begin with a greeting to all readers. But we must discuss a few things that need to be cleared up. For one, when I was in a relationship with someone else, and every single time I was in a relationship after, people have been going after me for various reasons, including but not limited to “slut” behavior which is a surefire way to say that I was slut shamed, called names, called worse names than a dog, and so on. I was labeled as having hung out with the wrong crowd, especially with Deq. That was ultimately the worst thing the NFBCO could have done. Let me clear some things up:

  1. Upon my arrival at CCB in 2010, I was at this point sick and dog tired of relationship drama, sick and dog tired of people throwing me away like garbage, and sick and dog tired of people making up stories about me and having to call me every goddamn time it happens that someone says something about someone else. I’m not the rumor mill of the blindness community, but that mill will lose its mortar and pestle very fast very soon.
  2. I chose Deq because he was not just the ordinary blind European American who spoke trashy comments or made assumptions about this country’s greatness, but I also chose Deq because in my mind, he was a rebel. Of course, I still think of Deq as what it means to be an American immigrant in the modern age. He came here from Kenya, but originally born in Somalia, and then he has done interpretation work for his immigrant Somali peoples. Deq is making money, is a U.S. citizen, and has a refugee wife. He’s doing great.
  3. Let’s face it. I had a relationship with Deq, but why do you European Americans have to think I hung out with the wrong crowd? When I think of the wrong crowd, I think of Terrorists, drug dealers, and criminal syndicates. Deq was none of these. Though he had a few beliefs that clashed with mine, we still enjoyed each other’s company, and I put up with it till I knew we couldn’t anymore. It was my choice to break it off with Deq Ahmed, but it was best for both of us. His clan and family would never support him marrying outside the bloodlines of Somali clan life. I made a regretful decision to date the next guy I dated because it was I who was foolish to see what kind of fool he was. He ended up abusing my trust and violating sacred human decency when he recorded the intimate moments we had, said I wasn’t good at sex (as if this wasn’t bad enough, and as if I was good at prostitution at all.), and he violated God’s and the universe’s central tenet of love and compassion. He has no capacity for empathy and I’ve seen it in him. He used his fake empathy antenna to lure victims, and it’s kind of sad.
  4. I dated a friend who chose a heartbreaker over me. And he learned his lesson, but I will not go back to him. Blake is a nice guy enough, but he needs a Conservative Christian woman with a liberal spice and a bit of neutral marinade. However, Blake’s family pervades his every day and hour, and many young women would not date a disabled man for some reasons that include the inability to move out of mother’s nest, the inability to take care of baby daughter, and the inability to see the daughter’s face. Girls who are ableist are everywhere, and many women of the age of mother tell their daughters not to actively date blind men. There’s a special word for that, and it’s a class related word but it puts the whole situation in perspective and I heard it from a MGTOW video and I can’t remember the word. I need to look back at that video and tell you what that word is. Oh, yes, if I did look at the video, hypergamy is everywhere. Blind hypergamist ladies are everywhere, and I learned that the hard way.
  5. After the breakup I was contacted by my previous ex, see Item 3, and I couldn’t remember why. It might have been that his long dead girlfriend had been just declared dead, and he was begging for forgiveness for himself from me, but of course, he refused to own up to what he did to me and Jennifer. Let’s just say I’ve kept a world free of him for four years, and I won’t go back. But then came Joey. And the world seemed like a brighter place, but then I learned later that people gave Joey the short end when it came to me and my personality or persona online and off line. I don’t know where people are getting these bad assumptions and misconceptions from, but this community of blind people are clearly incoherent. I’m not saying drunk, but not able to stick together and do the things necessary to stop discrimination and ableist rhetoric from spreading. So when I dated Joey, I was treated as garbage would be treated in a landfill, and only to have this guy break it off with me three weeks later. A letter from Grace Community Church was illicitly sent to Mr. Joey because the church did not believe in women’s ability to stand on their own two feet, apparently. How do you remove apparent filth, you might ask? By not sending a letter to my ex, of course. The church has defended sex abusers in other locations, as I later found out, and worse, they kicked me off the membership list through the vehicle of Joey nonetheless. This church should be ashamed of itself, and Christ would burn that whole building down, and take its people with it because he was and is an inclusive personality, and he loved everybody. He did not come for the righteous bastards who sexually abuse kids, but he came to call sinners, only the worst sinners amidst the crowd. He will pray with the people who can’t live as their assigned genital sex at birth. He will call the pansexuals, gay people, and the disabled. And Jesus will never tell people they can’t marry the person they love, and any reason to convert LGBTQI+ people to straight pale eyed lunatics will be void. Jesus loves us, if you know what you’re saying, the way we are and ought to be. Jesus did not look at blacks and whites but people. And Joey’s intolerance and family structure proves otherwise. Straight, white, and Christian families no longer appeal because they are bigoted toward transgender individuals, even in a love setting.
  6. Recently, friends have walked away because I am dating Trenton. I am serious though, want to commit to Trenton. In any case, I’ve lost too many friends from GCC and as for Trenton, there are people who say he shouldn’t be with me. Let me make one thing clear: he’s a good and supportive man, and I don’t want friends dictating who he’s with, let alone family. The grandmother saved the family and in spite of 92 years of age, she’s done a lot for all of us. The big thing is that the friends who dictate who Trenton is to be with can’t in any situation tell him or I that I am a crazy bitch who needs weekly or twice weekly therapy instead of twice monthly. I do indeed want Trenton to have friends, but. friends don’t do several things: friends don’t like when friends drive drunk; and furthermore, friends are supposed to accept and support decisions that they might not agree with. While the friends I speak of did not agree with Trenton’s decision to commit to me, I’m sorry to say this, but these people should have been more supportive and been friends only with both of us because acquaintance status won’t cut it. It is highly offensive when someone talks about a girl’s sexual behavior at a wedding, at a party, with friends, and even more, uses any excuse they can to commit something that could have left me bloody on the floor. I won’t go for this.

Now that the air is clear, I want to make another thing clear. The commitment ceremony will be on a day in May, 2020. We are also going to have to delay things because we’re going to California to celebrate a birthday with a longtime friend of Trenton’s, possibly. We don’t know, we have to book train tickets when we have the money for it all, and then we have to worry about food and incidentals and such.

Thank you for your supports, guys, and thanks to Global Books for liking this blog post prior to this one. I am now following you.


Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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