How Contraception Helps Me Stay Alive and Other Matters

Dear Readers,

Those of you familiar with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation might want to read this. While Mrs. Gates mostly talks about women’s health and empowerment in her mission, I want to talk about something that jumps out at me. Access to contraceptive precautions. Brave new world reference, but the contraceptions don’t require a weird drill.

When I first got with the current man, I pretty much embraced the idea of contraceptives. Why? Because I was in a bind: my parents had probably been the contributing factor in destroying and dictating relationships. I had lost two exes in a row in a month or two. I was like, okay, the next guy I get with has to be supportive, caring, and let me control everything because the Christians I’ve tried dating pretty much wanted to be dictators of the family, even over my body. Trenton has shown time and again that having children is not on his agenda, and we used contraceptives to affirm that. Mrs. Gates used contraceptives, and she openly admitted to it in her latest book. She envisions every woman in the world having a smartphone, but there’s more. I’m delving into her latest book about women’s empowerment, which I happen to take inspiration from.

I know the power of family planning services, and well on my way to one day being a mother, but the last thing I want is to have my parents invoke Buck V. Bell in removing the children from me claiming I’m an unfit mother. Well, I haven’t committed child abuse, and probably never will. One girl I know did indeed commit child abuse, and is paying dearly for it. Maybe the baby wasn’t planned, but had the girl had information about family planning, healthy beliefs about this, and the right healthcare, she wouldn’t have had the unplanned pregnancy. That also affects women in third world countries, but here in the First World, if I hadn’t had contraceptives, whether by pils or a shot, I would have probably either had those children removed for incompetency hearing reasons or my parents would have abused their power and made up more lies about how their poor daughter is unfit to have children because she is blind. I call bullshit. And what housing would be available for children of a blind couple that must stay with said couple? Has Mrs. Gates thought of the first world problem of disability housing and how marriage penalties affect qualifications for first time home buyers? I can never get a job, and even if I tried, my chances would b 3 to 1 that I would not be allowed to interview. Imagine me homeless, pregnant, filling out applications for jobs. I could fill out as many damned applications as my buddy Clayton has, over a thousand in a year, and still nobody would call or interview me. Without a Bachelor’s degree or equivalent work experience, I would never have a traditional job. I have to be better than anyone else, and still have to balance work with family.

Mrs. Gates is a good role model in this regard, and she’s spoken to women whose husbands would never support them getting Depo Provera shots to prevent babies from happening. For these women, babies mean more mouths to feed, no money for school, and just another way to have a husband’s control. Misogynistic cultures like those found in Africa and Asia will use girls as bait to get money, marry them off as early as possible, all that stuff, but if the families are smaller, like three instead of six, there’s more for the ones who are living and more wealth in the family’s budget. No girl gets married off young, and school becomes priority. I might just have 1 child or two of them, but not three as Melinda had. Mrs. Gates is lucky she has a rich husband, works in philanthropic causes, and so on, but not everybody’s lucky. As a blind person, people in my community scorned me for being a liberal, tried to dictate what I do sexually, and I have the worst feeling the NFB doesn’t give a crap.

If I lost the child, the NFB would say it’s my own fault for “being a loose slut” or other mad and bad stories or jokes. Whatever happens, right now, I cannot have children.

I’d rather not sterilize because one day, I want to experience being a mom, holding my first real kid, drool and all. ANd some of you moms reading this might say, but you can’t see. Bullshit, there are plenty of mothers out there who are blind. Yet we get more scrutiny. See the article by Jo Pinto, entitled “Oooh, Gnats”, in which I’ve copied the link here in this blog. Pinto writes candidly about being a blind mom, and she’s coming out with her new book. Just wait till that book comes out!

Contraceptives save lives, and I’m not about to wear myself out being pregnant and so on. In all cases, this is what I’m thankful for this Fourth of July, the freedom to have contraceptives that save lives.

I have a bit of good news to share. It seems the judge wants a form to fill out stating I do not need a guardian, and that form could spell the difference between life here and isolation. It took them way to long to realize this, and by this time, relationships and job prospects and social opportunities have been completely ruined. Relationships don’t just mean those romantic ones, but also it means professional ones, like those of therapists. Because of this guardianship, I missed out on too many things, and I cannot get it all back with money, but if my father does one thing to contradict the doctor and her knowledge since I’m a patient of hers, I will have to sue. There’s no choice.

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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