First of all, …

Dear Readers,

First and foremost, to the commentor who called me a spoiled brat, stop it and realize what you’re doing wrong. I’ve had to delete that commment because blind brides should be paid for by their fathers, even my friend’s wedding puts mine to complete shame. He had family support on the bride’s end, and he had someone for the roles that both he and bride wanted. He also had retirement savings, higher payments, all that. He even had a church that supported him. Where’s the memory in a $30 piece of paper that just simply says you’re married? Nothing. But this comment you wrote, ma’am, was unacceptable and inexcusable. You anna read this blog? Don’t start calling me things I’m not, and realize that you are not good for the community because you called me names. Sppoiled brats are rich, snobbish, and altogether Jersey Shore. I live in a ghetto, practically a barrio if you want to be technical, in a low income apartment. I can’t afford anything beyond bills, and if I want to save, I’m lucky if I can save anything. Trenton is lucky if we can plan for large purchases, things like the technology we use. Unfortunately, my iPod broke and I can’t afford a warranty or AppleCare on it so if I wanted to get the screen popped back into place, I’d have to pay wads of cash I don’t have. For the same amount, I’m better off just buying an iPad. Who cares.

As for the wedding, we can’t save up for any wedding related things because we’re in the process of moving to a nwe apartment, and what’s the fun in saving when you know you have to pay for a mover because nobody wants to move your furniture? I will not be able to haul a queen sized bed to another location without a truck, something I can’t drive. So there you have it, that is why I asked others to pay for wedding expenses. $5 is not ever gonna cut it because even a basic dress does not fit within a budget hat includes a $400 rent, $37 utilities/electricity and we already dropped down to basic or cable, but we need the landline phone because 911 on cell phones is unreliable. Have you hard Jeff Rossen? He did a Rossen reports on that.

And you think there are underlying issues that lead a hite trash couple to hold guardianship deliberately over a blind child? Or rather an adult child? Some of you are completely skewed in your views. Here’s the truth.

My parents could have saved money by sending me to public school, and sent that extra private school investment the made into violin lessons, and I could have been a violinist in a local symphony orchestra. They denied me the music, instead putting me in a church school where a religious framework was desired. It is not a viable option. Before you say, oh, you’re lucky you had private school and all this, think about why private school is a bad option. Besides the thing about them kicking out people who misbehave, private schools have nothing of substance. Morality textbooks are biased and have no clue as to the ableist nonsense that my parents later claimed. It was because of their desire to control, cajole, and urther abuse, that I later decided to have sexual relations outside of marriage. Besides, in my mind, when was marriage to take place? I am not Christian anymore as I write this because sex outside marriage was the only way I could touch the ground without breaking what my parents thought would be law. They made me look like an exceptional case at Colorado Center for the Blind, and expected me to commit to their desires, which I refuse. I graduated without a scaled back dinner, thank God, and tha was harder. But it was worth it. One thing I’ll take away from CCB: I’m never cooking for 70 or 50 people again. EVER!

Why? Because it’s a lot of work, and besides, I don’t live in a polygamous or large family. The most I could cook for might even be 4 people. I could do 13. My aunt has nine children, so she has to have skills to cook for at least 30. But I’m not going to pop out nine, so I’m hoping never to have to use the skills to cook for 30. Besides, I have no privilege.

Spoiled indicates that I have privilege. So to the one who calls me spoiled, try living like me for a few days, with a family who pulls stunts on you and says, oh, btw, your brother’s getting married. I have no respect for someone who pulls that on me, and I wasn’t exactly invited anyway. Besides, I would have warned Laura the bride in this case that her in laws are white trash. White trashy people should never get their way. And callng someone spoiled ultimately makes you look good? Wrong. Besides, my friends don’t like the person who did this, and I won’t name names. Why? Because I’m a better person than this.

Thank you all for reading, and if you’d like to offer a more supportive comment, then do so but be warned. Any comment implying privilege will be deleted.


More Newlyweds? Do we need any more privileged couples?More

Dear Readers,

It has been made known to me that I am never going to receive the proper well wishes at Trenton’s and my wedding ceremony that we need, no we need this, this is not. want. We were kicked out of church because of this, and Trenton was not welcomed at GCC Denver due to his choice of living arrangements, and I find this appalling. Meanwhile, Danny, the oldest of two sons by Mom and Dad, is getting married this Saturday. In two days! And I was not informed weeks in advance. I would have joined them at the ceremony but there would be a catch: my parents would have to buy a plane ticket for Trenton, and for both of us, a round trip would have to be bought. Secondly, my family would learn to accept Trenton for all qualities: blind, black, tall, handsome, all that. I had a good discussion with our friend Clayton, who had two unsuccessful marriages, but learned a lot. Clayton suggested we simply get a license for $30. There’s a problem with that. Where’s the memory in that? Where the hell is the wedding bands? Even my friend Art’s wedding puts mine to shame, even my brother’s small one will have more than just two family members, a judge, and the couple. Is that anything close to joyful for everybody? I might as well say this.

If you’re going to continue not supporting me and Trenton as a couple, don’t bother inviting us out anywhere. If you see a kid born, know this. You won’t be allowed to know hat the kids exist. Only Trenton’s family and a select few people will get the text message from either of us saying a baby is even born. Since you don’t support me, then you shouldn’t be talking to Trenton either. We’re a united couple and we won’t let bullshit get between us, moreover, since I can’t even update my wedding details, then forget that you even received a wedding invite. If you truly cared, ou would’ve donated to the GoFundMe account set up for our wedding, but no, you allow your little stigmatic brains to ick in and destroy any possibility that Trenton and I get happiness at all. Instead, you and those among you who I know this happened, you all throw out unsolicited matches, other girls for Trenton, not support me because of the mess with my exes, well, worse yet, you don’t give a damn how we get married. But you don’t want us to, and you make me look like a fool for going out with Trenton all in th name of false security or safety. I deserve more happiness than all of you!!!!!!!! All of you who don’t want us to be happy, we’re going on a Caribbean cruise, okay? We’re going to have a bottle of wine, okay? We’re going to Vegas and gambling away all the money you could have spent buying Trenton a possible other girl. While my brother’s children steal and kill my opportunities as a blind person, I’m here writing this blog, in a bug infested apartment, being guilt tripped, being put down by all of this so called community that is supposed to support, not turn away. I’m through with the way any nd all of you have treated me over the years, all of it needs to be reanalyzed. Think about how you’d feel if I told you that your boyfriend or girlfriend wasn’t right because simply put, I don’t like this person or that person. How would you like it if I suggested that Kate Bosworth marry your boyfriiend or perhaps the defiled Nick Carter marry your girlfriend? How does that make any of you feel? Do you truly put feelings first? You should care, care, and care again because the way you go about it, there’s no empathy or joy for me and Trenton. We will have no flowers, no cake, no music, not a fifty foot wedding veil or even the tiara will not have a matching wedding gown! My brother did not deserve this and only got it all because of work and ability related privilege. I am not entitled because I don’t have privilege, period. Clayton even said this in his twitter. Let me paraphrase what he says. Blind people who are entitled are the privileged few with work, money, and things. I’m absolutely angry because while Trenton and I want to have wedding bells, we can’t get the help we need to get true happiness out of it, and we can’t even afford a vacation to Disneyland California for Pete’s sake. We want the cruise, or the trip to Vegas, but you privileged white people have stolen this opportunity from us. Same with you able people. Even some disabled people.

So here are some ways you can support us.

1. First and foremost, buy my wedding dress and get Trenton a new outfit he can wear.

2. Bring us a cake that we can both eat, without the whippy icing please.

3. Please bring us roses, flowers, roses mostly though.

4. Give us a universal minister that will do a truly moving celebration for us, even prayers that don’t necessarily lean toward homophobic references or Christianity only.

5. Send us off on a honeymoon of a lifetime. Give us the option of going to a place that is accessible, near transport and stores, and near attractions. IF you guys can’t support any of these fie things, then kiss your opportunity to see the future children of me and Trenton goodbye.

I’m sorry i had to write this, but the way people act around me, it must be done. This must be written, and I’m a lot safer writing this rather than prank calling my brother so that he thinks his new bride is cheating on him. What am I supposed to do anyway!

I love Trenton, and I want to give without condition, without strings attached. I want to give him all the love I can possibly give him, but if we can’t rely on a babysitter for our children so we can go on dates once or twice a month, then what would the point of life be? If we can’t get support while I’m pregnant, then what? And Worse, if the kids are special needs category, where they may not be able to talk, see, walk, etc., how the hell are we going to get them the right services and stuff? Blind children are already being denied Braille at every level, and I’m considering homeschool so that the public and private school students can shut up. I don’t want my kids to be bullied, or the teachers to b in on shielding the children’s grades from us, the blind parents. We need to always be in the loop, and when the kids go to college, all that we do will hopefully be of service to them. I hope that one day, Trenton and I get to pack up a son or daughter and their stuff for university, then sit in an empty house and feel that common feeling of heartbreak, yet the feeling of accomplishment as well, knowing that what we’ve done will do our child a great service. When son or daughter gets a new house, I hope we can rejoice to the moon and back when that happens. But they need married and loyal parents who will not divorce or separate for any reason. Not for a lifetime of unsupportive misery.