When you died a young girl, the world missed you terribly. Now, the world needs more blessings than it can ponder. I sit here, crying and wondering how I can make a difference in this world, but without you, I don’t know how the world would have been different. Maybe my world would have been different, if only you were strong enough to sit up in bed, face the computer screen, and type a response to me as I see it. Carrie, you should’ve seen FaceBook and Twitter, my they’ve advanced since you’ve gone to be with God. But Carrie, I hurt not because I said or did anything I regret, but I feel the pain of the country and this world divided weighed on my shoulders. Carrie, you really were and still are an angel, a guardian angel who poured forth a blessing no woman should ever think to take back. You blessed me with a man, a strong and sturdy man that no girl would ever dare mess around with, Trenton Matthews, and I thank God for him and your hand in it. Carrie, I feel the world and the pain of the whole world on my shoulders. It’s like I carry the weight of racism and violence, violence like you never have seen before. Carrie, I’m glad you don’t have to witness it, but you have in a way done so because God’s angels know everything. You are probably aware of the violence in Virginia and what took place. God the father had to take Heather Hier in his arms and hold her tight forever in his grasp because one stupid savage man ran her over, and is now facing murder charges. Carrie, your death was no accident because I know you are watching me. And you know I hurt, but I have a few things to press upon you, to lay down my burden so you can carry the weight with me.
One, please send a sign to all the white males in the country that Trenton is mine, and I am his, and that they shall never defile that relationship. Tell my family that I’m fine, that they should grant me my right to be so that Trenton and I can coown a house together and have a family and all that. Please bless Trenton in many ways, with the feeling of your presence around us. Fly close to me in times of trouble, and stay by my side as often as you can.
Carrie, it’s been so long since your passing, but now you have two new friends or more to share Heavenly castles with. Robert, Jennifer, and Leon were all friends of mine and Robert was killed unlawfully as Heather Hier was. But please, Carrie, take care of Jennifer. Now that she’s gone, and decided to be with God, you can talk to her, can’t you? Jennifer Weaver would never have wanted to see this kind of racist behavior between people. Honestly, Jen would have wanted me to forgive Jason, thus I have done so but not spoken to him ever again because of the domestic abuse he imposed upon a friend of mine, almost killing her. Trenton loves me, and would never do such evil to me. Carrie, how can I thank you enough!
But I want you and Jen and all the others I know to send a sign to all the nationalists that they need to grow up, straighten up and fly right, or they’ll fall back down and burn in Hell for this Racist stuff they’re spewing on social media, on the news, and on the radio. In magazines, in newspapers, all over the place, you see people saying that the billionaire president Donald J. Trump does not have a care in the world for anyone but himself, has a bad temper with the staff, and doesn’t give a crap about blindness or visual impairment, hates blacks and minorities, patronizes transgendered folks like objects, whatever. Carrie, I want you and Leon to show Donald Trump what racist thought does not look like: both of you fly to his bedside and tell him to cut the racist rhetoric out. We don’t need this. Leon was black, and of course, I think you were white. Both of you were Christians, and I’m counting on both your lives to show Trump what life really looks like.
I wish Hilary had been elected, and if God has it his way, a woman will be elected president. But Carrie, I want you to tell the rest of the world in signs and wonders what I can do. Even if my body was ravaged with cancer as yours was, I know that God will be with me. Trenton knows that I’m a God fearing woman.
But before I ramble on further, please, Carrie, come back for a split second and tell me things will be all right. I don’t want white men to ruin mine and Trenton’s bright and strong relationship. I cry not for myself, but for Trenton and his family, his friends, and all of us as a country as I type this. My tears could fill the ocean right now, maybe they’d fill Mina-Sauk Falls where the lover drowned to save the love of herself and the Osage man she so cared about. Should a white man interfere with Trenton and I, Carrie, I promise I would die with dignity rather than live a somber and rigid life with a white man, a man who may not be as playful and fun as Trenton, a man who would never open to me his heart and soul the way Trenton has done, and I swear the world will never know. I promise to walk a thousand miles, or take Trenton with me on a north ocean trip across many waters to Canada, who cares about Netflix and all, because I don’t want to be associated with white Racism and violence in any form in any state. Virginia made a big mistake, and Air B and B was right to cancel people’s accounts for being racist.
Carrie, Air B&B is a thing where you look for lodging on an app, which is a little program you put on a smartphone. In case you come back in a weird way, I explained it so you know what apps are and what Air B&B is.
And ApplePay and PayPal and all the major payment retail cards are trying to stop Nazi sympathizers and white supremacists from buying paraphanalia that has Nazi and hateful stuff on it. ApplePay is a payment system that goes through i things. Like the iPhone, Apple’s awesome cell phone. You would have loved iPhones. Of course, there’s Android, which I am all right with, but the android has a ways to go before it catches up with iPhone access stuff, but no worries. Trenton and I are a house divided tech wise, but no, our hearts are together.
Carrie, I want you to keep the momentum strong. Bless this nation with the depth of your love, God’s love, and say hello to Jennifer for me. I regretfully never said goodbye to her, and she will always be in the dreams of myself and my friend Rania. But Jennifer wouldnt’ve wanted this violence, would not have needed it. Angels shoulder the weight of the world, but I want the angels of God to show these government people what wrong they’re doing in doubling down their commentary about the white nationalists in Charlottesville, and please bless the city and community with protections against these vile acts.
Carrie, I pray to God that I see you again in my dreams, but not as a frail little girl, but as a strong woman who can lift a ten ton hammer to the world and blast it open like a pinata. Out falls the vile acts of a thousand countries to each other, and in falls the love and support that minorities need to keep going.
Heavenly Father, I beg you to free the people of the so called Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea, and if it takes sickening the Kim family and giving them plagues to show him who you are like you did the Egyptians, do it. Please. I beg you, Lord, it’s not about me anymore.
The people of North Korea need you, a living god, the Triune Godhead, to set them free. They killed Otto Wormbier, so let their dictator feel the wrath that poor Otto felt and let him feel the suffering of his prisoners. LEt Kim Jong-Un have a hard head and a hard heart, but don’t let him destroy the blind women of the North. Liberate them as you did the Egyptians, and give the women a sign that there is a land of opportunity out there. Give to these women a message from the Lady Liberty herself: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” Take in your arms the orphans of the North, the disabled, the not well endowed people that Kim doesn’t want, and show them you love them and care for them. Tear down the walls around the poor and rich, but if the rich buck you, you know how to do. God, I trust that someday the North will experience you, how you freed a whole race from another’s subjugation and servitude. You infected Rameses II with boils, and worse, the death of him and his wife’s little baby boy. Perhaps Kim should know the meaning of loss, that man should know what hurts his people. So if you must go after his firstborn or heir apparent, I don’t care what you do.
May all these things be done according to your will and plans, and hold my late friends close. Carrie is someone who should have been allowed to live in more time in my humble opinion, but your word is final and infinite times transcend your creation of the World. I will never know what comes next. I hope that sometimes I come back often as a human being and not as a cat, bobcat or domestic kitten, whatever. I really want to stay here on this earth forever, even outliving my husband and children, but who cares. I want to stay, as long as you’ll allow, and I know the world needs me.
God, dear father in Heaven, I beg you to teach these people a lesson in Virginia and you’re doing a well done job of it. Heather’s mom said what she said because she cared about her daughter’s legacy. She wants to make it count, and God, I want it to count. This white Nationalist stuff affects me personally, oh Lord, and you know that. You know my heart and where it is, but I want to wake up in a world that does not know the consequence of war, has peace, and does not try to rule over women in ruthless ways. I beg you to show my sisters in North Korea and Africa and elsewhere that you are the living and all true God, male and female, Heavenly neutral power of the sky, Father, Abba, whatever. If you exist, Lord, show me who you are because I’ve lost my way. The Sovereign Grace church has thrown me to the wolves, and you allowed it, but maybe you have other plans for me. Teach the folks at Sovereign Grace in Westminster, Grace Community Church, that you are God, and they are not your Elite but they are crawling ants in the dust.
Teach these people that they like the rest are dust, and unto dust they shall all return when they die like I shall have to die. What they’ve done to me was wrong, racist, and tore me apart like mad. God, why did you do this?
Teach these people how to find me and Trenton again, and maybe send a couple of my lost friends a sign, Trenton and I are getting married. We believe in you, but we feel the weight of the world. You’ve shown us our weak spots, and please, let us be together. Bless Trenton in all ways but he doesn’t always need me around. Protect him and let the angels, Carrie among them, sing praises to you with him every day. Trenton can beat the drum for you, so encourage him to beat the drum in praise of you. God, I know you exist, I know Jesus existed to become your son and heir to Heaven’s treasures, but left those to all of us, not just this Alt Right trash group that savaged around Charlottesville. Show the people of Denver and all the nations that you are the living God, and there is no Elite but you the living God yourself.
Your servant apologizes for her ramblings.
In your name, may all these intentions be lifted higher than the stratusphere.