In light of a blessed Valentine’s Day, I want to put things into perspective about what love is and what it means. Love is something we don’t find anywhere these days, or almost anywhere. As I’ve known what love was, and is, I can tell you what means love and what love is about. Valentine’s Day is frequently celebrated with Cupid’s arrow and a lot of erotic thoughts might go through your head. However, it’s not just the romantic sexual stuff that we should be thinking about.
Love is being able to accept your mate or friends for all they have. This wasn’t apparent in schools like St. Teresa’s or at times Titusville High School, and most of that nonacceptance came from parental figures or other peers. Peer victimization is so common in these places you would think I could never survive, but I did.
Love is when you allow your partner to have choices and freedom at any time. I dated a guy once called Jason, but really, he’s a major creep. He did not allow me the freedom to be myself, would make fun of my character, and took advantage of me. He is currently dating another friend and is in counseling for the abusive behaviors, hopefully for the rest of time. However, this man was not right for me because of his abuse. My parents’ guardianship could be a grave example of what even a love between parent and child is not. My parents believe I am too “naive” for relationships, and they could disapprove marriage for Trenton and myself due to race if they so chose, but could mask that with “she’s not been with him long enough.” I’ll get to Trenton later.
However, Mom and Dad just want my freedom sucked out because of disability. Many parents of children with disabilities don’t let them grow up, which is sad to say the rule for too many of these families. If you truly love your child with a disability, you’d let that child have choices and freedom and let them explore and reach for the stars, which I’m sad to say my parents refused to think I could do, and only masked their problems with mine.
Love is never abandoning your partner or best friend when they’re in crisis, or when they have the case of depression or the blues. This includes postpartum depression and baby blues. I know a girl who has several disabilities who was sadly abandoned after some abuse from a husband who did not like her having the disabilities she has. She has since filed for divorce which was the right thing to do, but her current partner does not abandon her at all. They talk daily, do things together over Skype and other things. Blake never wanted to abandon me, and has never done so, even when we broke our relationship. I personally don’t want to because of the circumstances surrounding why we broke up in the first place. Abandonment shows you don’t love someone and these are examples.
Love is being able to accept any challenge, and when asked, for married couples especially, this person takes the spouse or significant other in sickness and in health. There was an NBC news story yesterday about a girl with cancer so severe she could’ve died, but her boyfriend proposed when she got the c word diagnosis. Brenda and Gary are now married, happily in all things.
Love is unconditional, never changing, and does not shrink with time. The best love is that which stands the test of time. I thought when Blake and I were dating that we’d stand the test of time, but we didn’t because of family issues. This can have a terrible impact on a relationship. No family should shove their belief about a person in the member’s face. So what should have happened? There should never have been a breakup but still, friendship can stand the test of time.
However, I feel Trenton can be a better spouse than anything I’ve seen before. We’re going to celebrate a full year together on February 24, 2017. We’re also considering marriage, though wedding plans have been halted due to my family. In all honesty, I hope that my family steps off the plank and out of my love life because it’s my love life, whether the relationship begins or ends at all.
Valentine’s Day was personally good for me. I felt and still feel as of this writing a bit gassy and bloated, could be a medical side effect. I’ll have to have the doc check it out. But the gas bubbles in my stomach are still there, as though I am sick, but I’m not sick. Anyway, that’s my Valentine’s Day for you.