Recently, I was bashed and supported, loved and hated, rocked with the possibility of living with my boyfriend, Kahili. We wanted to wait six months, but his mom threw him out, so we decided well, it’s her bed, she should lie in it. So Kahili is here now, and we’re looking forward to the new place. We’re literally in overdrive and excitement is building as far as what budget we should put together, painting a picture of our place. Kahili and I both have ideas about what the place would look like, what we’d do, but there are some people who just don’t think we should live together because, being the ultraconservative Christian folks they are, they believe we will have babies outside of marriage. Well? Kahili and myself are both the following: unemployed, blind, and on disability. We are both aware of the combined income and budget issues. We’re both very aware of a lot of things, including that my parents have stolen marriage from me so they could have guardianship. Their so called permanent guardianship has made all dating and living arrangements a so called sin, and … well, Kahili doesn’t feel that this is right nor proper.
Let’s be clear: Bible stories are great teaching tools. However, there is no justification for bashing folks who live together outside marriage. Let’s also make another thing clear: because of our disability, blindness, and other associated disabilities such as a mild case of cerebral palsy and for me, mild mental trauma disorders and border line personality, we cannot just wait a year or two and go buy a house or public housing or just go get a market based apartment. We just can’t. Given our checks, we also needed time, but thank God the two bed came up for us, so we’ll get it. However, Kahili’s mom used his check for her, almost all of it going to one big bill. I don’t think that’s right, and neither should anyone else justify this.
What’s sad is that my whole family thinks he should stay with his mother. Well? Respect or otherwise, the disabled community has a solid and God given right to make choices, and the Biblical standard for making choices has been totally steered the wrong way. Let’s talk about the Bible and its views and why it’s absolutely not in line with God’s true word to tell others what to do with their lives.
First and foremost, remember that women in Biblical days were promised, not just married, but promised to men who were ten times older than they were. Mary was given to Joseph in a pledge when they were kiddos, about eight years old. Well, Mary had to go through with a ceremony at fifteen or so and maybe even younger. Pure young maidens were married off at such a young and pliant age that they knew nothing. That was the rule in ancient times. What’s obvious about the Bible’s female characters is that none were blind and none possessed talents or skills like music and or poetry. Men and women who were blind were bashed and criticized in the early church because they were feared, and blindness was considered contagious. Very contagious diseases could cause blindness.
Blind people were considered indigent and still are in most places. How do you expect a blind person to marry, one might ask. No maiden in the Bible’s stories’ time frames were ever married. No young maiden of blind kind could ever be allowed to take part in household and social life. Think about it. We’re not justifying any bad things, but look at where the reasoning for bashing and nonsupport comes from. There is no justification for telling blind folks what to do. Kahili and I are excited about the new place. I plan to do responsible things, things like the use of birth control and no, not an IUD. I’m not getting surgery to prevent pregnancy. Kahili and I eventually do want to marry, but true legal marriage is closed to me because my parents are as stupid as play dough and they’ve obtained the guardianship for their own personal gain. My parents, shockingly enough, have not filed paperwork in four years. Of course, they won’t surrender peacefully. They want to hold on, smother, protect. But that’s not stopping Kahili from wanting to marry me. We’ve even talked about common law marriage, and it seems that is the only way we can go for now since the way the government views us is stupid. We lose income for legal marriage.
We believe the government should increase, not decrease, income for legal marriages involving two parties with disabilities. We would qualify for better housing so the kids can grow up safely. At least we live like right by a school. However, we really need to be able to save up for furnishings. With a legal marriage, it becomes a barrier for us. This is ridiculous. A penalty for being married is unacceptable. Why not reform disability pensions so that all pensioners like that in Australia and the United States do not lose one penny even after they get married. Let’s make legal marriage more acceptable, but also more rewarding. Living in a state of so called sin is not sin at all provided there is the circumstances listed here. Thank you all for your reading and consideration.