Ex Boyfriends Are Weird

So while talking to an ex of mine I get along with, I found three things out:

  1. He looks like he could use a job.
  2. He might be useful at the mall because of the pillow beard he has.
  3. His beard may be the size of a typical black Santa claus. I’m sorry, but my ex is weird. Weird as Hell.
  4. IF my ex were th be a mall Santa, then I would be his elf. Well, I don’t know.

For one thing, my ex is weird enough that I can throw him around in a pool and he wouldn’t care. But my Somali ex as Santa? Oh no. Christmas is in three months, so why am I writing this?

Whoa, okay, so I have a few tips for those considering taking their kids to see Santa:

  1. If you want the child to sit on the old stranger’s lap, be sure the guy has had a background check, okay?
  2. Secondly, if your child says he/she is uncomfortable sitting on this particular mall Santa’s lap, heed the child’s terror because truly, well, he could be right. She could be right.
  3. On a more humorous note, Santa is a psycho. … Ha ha ha. Santa hasn’t gotten the jist of “Take your meds.” Santa on meds would be a bit scary.

Next couple posts I’ll talk more about Halloween, and when Halloween comes, we will have some serious tips on what to do if God forbid you saw the Somali ex I dated at your dorstep dressed as Father Christmas for Halloween. Who dares to do that! Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: