So while talking to an ex of mine I get along with, I found three things out:
- He looks like he could use a job.
- He might be useful at the mall because of the pillow beard he has.
- His beard may be the size of a typical black Santa claus. I’m sorry, but my ex is weird. Weird as Hell.
- IF my ex were th be a mall Santa, then I would be his elf. Well, I don’t know.
For one thing, my ex is weird enough that I can throw him around in a pool and he wouldn’t care. But my Somali ex as Santa? Oh no. Christmas is in three months, so why am I writing this?
Whoa, okay, so I have a few tips for those considering taking their kids to see Santa:
- If you want the child to sit on the old stranger’s lap, be sure the guy has had a background check, okay?
- Secondly, if your child says he/she is uncomfortable sitting on this particular mall Santa’s lap, heed the child’s terror because truly, well, he could be right. She could be right.
- On a more humorous note, Santa is a psycho. … Ha ha ha. Santa hasn’t gotten the jist of “Take your meds.” Santa on meds would be a bit scary.
Next couple posts I’ll talk more about Halloween, and when Halloween comes, we will have some serious tips on what to do if God forbid you saw the Somali ex I dated at your dorstep dressed as Father Christmas for Halloween. Who dares to do that! Hahahahahahahahahaha.