Response to a Really Bad Voice Message on Nick’s Phone

Well, she’s at it again. The witch with the long black hair. But this time, we will now reveal the identity of this little black haired weirdo. We also want to inform all of the readers that an insulting voicemail was heard last night, a voice mail that was so insulting and offensive. Let’s analyze it in the form, “Dear person who left that stupid voice mail.”

Dear Mabelin P. Ramirez,
As of last night, you shook a lot of people up but we’re going to punish you for that stupid voice mail you left for Nick. Here’s a few hints when leaving a voice mail:\
1. Do not insult me or Blake or anyone. You said Blake was being used by me for my own selfish purposes. You also said that I was the “mean one” and that I “got Nick’s stuff taken away.” The stuff was taken away because of staff corroborating with parents. They were corroborating to alienate Nick from people who cared. Mabelin, we’re not going to affectionately call you Mabers or Mabes or anything of this nature. I tried to restrain you from contact with me or even my friends or even online activity, but to no avail. Don’t think it’s any thing that allows you to insult me and talk about me behind my back. I’m sick of this, and it will stop right now and here in any place you end up.
2. Do not take friends that do not rightfully belong with you. Jessica G., my dear friend, has to have 24 hour nurse care due to her disability. You walk over her like she’s grass on the ground, so stop it.
3. For this, Mabelin P. Ramirez, this blog hereby orders you to quit talking about the writer behind her back. You trashed me on this particuloar site, and I implore you to leave Jessica and leave all of us alone. You’re back for round 2, and it will end with you going straight down. What will you say to God on Yama ke Yama? If you were Muslim, you would have to admit to Allah, “I tried to ruin people’s lives.” IF Jesus knew this happened, he’d toss the table you were sitting at upside down as if you were a money changer sitting in the church. You would be in judgment at this point. And you know, you are.
When leaving a voice mail, you need to simply ask the person to call you back, stupid egg cracked too early. You obviously don’t know how to leave voice mails for the friends you claim you have.
As for Nick and the “meanness”, I don’t like people who think they can trample us with disabilities. What’s sad is when disabled people discriminate against each other. It’s like the blacks with lighter skin going against blacks with darker skin. It sickens me beyond belief!
So, do us all a favor and let someone hack your Skype account, go offline, and hide because when the last day, Yama ke Yama, or whatever happens, you won’t be able to say you did the right thing. What I do for people like Nick is called advocacy work. It’s my NFB side coming out, and Blake and I did this while at CCB. I do public service for people who need it. I tell restaurants, “Make your menu readable.” AS an example, I tried writing a letter to a pub restaurant I went to, and they haven’t responded, but I responded to their service with profuse thank yous and so on, and told the restaurant owners in the email that they would benefit from a better menu format.
I also am good about telling others that wheelchair parking is essential for business. But I will not advertise death to babies and elders, allow a bad nursing home to get more business, and so on. A for profit company should never profit from others’ misery. That is the motto by which I am living.
Now, Jessica G., get with it, girl. You’re married, 38 or whatever you do, with your age, so get away from Mabelin P. Ramirez. She’s dangerously close to blowing everybody’s brains out, and I’m tempted to say something really bad. I’m sick of being talked about behind my back. I want my friend back, and you need to understand I am a fiery advocate for disabled rights. Jessica, if someone abused you in your home, I’d hit the person repeatedly and ask how it felt. The Blue Eyed exercise applies here. Try living like the sighted and able bodied, and tell me what power you think you have. You don’t.
Everybody’s equal, and disabled people have to be put in the line of equality with others. Being friends with someone isn’t a bad thing, but Mabelin is going to be punished for what she’s doing. Her activities have been well known for years, and when she starts crying, that’s when we know this has worked. I’m sick of being talked about and gossip must end, and right now. Blake is having a hard time trying to ease the pain of this, … and that’s the thing.
We’re not putting up with this anymore. Blake has to leave for an emotional trip to California to do some stuff. On top of which, the family needs access for an untrained dog. It’s weird, but I hope it works out …
Enjoy the rest of your weird lives, readers, and hope you all will find the weather nicer.
Beth

Marriage at a young age: What We Can Learn from India, Ethiopia, and Third World Countries That Harbor Sexual Predators with Child Brides

Dear Readers,
Imagine for a moment that you are nine years old. You are like any other girl, playing about in the yard, doing the usual little girl stuff. Imagine though the family is poor, you go to some school, but then your parents drop you from school. Let’s imagine your dad wakes you up at about three in the morning. While I’m not really the one to do this, if I were nine, I’d wonder why. So your father says, “You will be married to a man.” The first thing that crosses your mind is: what? Married? You are told that your husband to be is three times your age. You’re only nine, remember?
This actually happened to Nujood Ali, a young lady from Yemen when she was only about nine years old. Her husband, the predator the father chose for her, was a man three times her age, smoked, drank, and had a big temper. This happens one too many times. The reasons parents in poor countries do this to their innocent daughters is the poverty, the desire for a good marriage match for the daughter, and to keep the family honor alive. Well, my friends, child marriage is a bad idea. This is happening too many times in Africa and Asia, and it also happens in America!
Ayaan Hirsi Ali, the famed Somali born scholar, says bluntly in her books that child marriage is bad and could hinder the girl from dreaming. Hirsi Ali also states in an article called “Young, American, and Forced to Wed”, that this form of slavery is occurring right under the noses of Congress. What are Republicans doing to solve this? Nothing. But we do have an ally in Jimmy carter, who though old, and retired as we all know, has written a chapter about this in his book, A Call To Action. Oftentimes, the child bride is pulled out of school. The bride does not get any education soon before her wedding, and she is a sex slave for the man for the rest of her life. Usually, the man is three or two times her age. Here’s an experience anecdote: a young Somali cousin of my ex said that there were girls young as eighteen marrying men old enough to be Grandpa. This actually almost happened to Waris Diri, a Somali lady who later became a “Desert Flower.” She became a New York model, an ambassador for women, and so many other things. She was also mutilated in the genitals, so many Somalis have this done to them and it causes many health complications. This young girl wanted to be a girl, not a slave. For many child brides, they are doomed to stay in the marriage once they are impregnated. Sadly, the brides are brainwashed to think that this is the best. Well, ok, let’s go back to our imaginary, or not so imaginary, nine-year-old girl. Imagine the girl is sitting in a room with her “husband”, in reality a sexual predator. When marriages were done in the ancient times, men did not touch the kids till they matured sexually. But with Nujood’s story, Faez Ali Thamer, the predator in question, raped her violently every night they were together. HE claimed he wasn’t violent. Well, if I were to confront the man myself, I would have looked him in the face and said, “So why is your so called wife asking for a divorce? Do you want medical evidence?” If Nujood lived in the U.S., a girl like her would get access to medical care that proved that she was violently raped and abused. Men these days do not know the innocence of childhood, and I have previously posted about manhood and boyhood. We need to make men aware that being violent to young girls and women will not get them to Heaven.
My Muslim friend, Elizabeth D., said to me today some stuff about the last days, Yama Ke Yama, in which we stand before God and state what we did with our lives. Well, I bet that Faez Ali Thamer will have to stand before his God and state, “I raped a nine-year-old girl.” And the worst thing was, he wasn’t imprisoned. The father meant well by “selling” his daughter.
Nujood became the youngest divorcee in the world, and later wrote a book about it. Delphine Minoui coauthored the book, and Nujood went to school. It was a great day in her life when she finally got free, but at the expense of her parents’ “honor.” Again, Ayaan Hirrsi Ali would say, “It’s a classic case of the honor code and shame code.” IF a girl balks and rebells against the marriage proposed by her father, she is seen as shameful and killed.
So what are the solutions to child marriage? There is no easy solution. What I think would work is this: if countries like Yemen would ban the “sale” and marriage of young girls under the eighteenth birthday, it would be a start. Sixteen years old is ok, but look at statistics. I have a friend who married really young, sixteen or seventeen. She is having one problem after another, and she has had to chastize her husband many times for partying and going on dates. Emily Caldwell’s two kids are the best things she has. Her husband’s unfaithfulness however is the top reason why so many American couples break up.
So what if arranged marriage worked? Should we just marry off our daughters to strangers? No. Marriage should be to someone you trust, love, and cherish for life, whether you’re sick or healthy, rich or poor, or whatever. Blake and I cherish each other’s company, and I know that it’s going to be hard. It will be so hard if Blake doesn’t have me but at least we’re adults, and we’ve matured. So many teenagers have a fairy tale image of marriage that they don’t see the real work that goes into even having a dating relationship. Marriage is work, and marrying a child to a predator will only result in rape and abuse.
The ramifications of child marriage are deadly and unhealthy for children who marry: the girls die in childbirth and the boys learn to be predators and businessmen who buy and sell brides. What is this!
The best solution we can come up with is outright bans on child marriage. If but one child is married off, it is one child too many. As Elizabeth would say, “We can’t stand before our Lord and say that we married our young daughters off at nine to men they hated.” Elizabeth’s own daughter, Sofia, married Phil, a non Muslim, not in accordance with the Qur’an, but Elizabeth will tell you that not a lot of brothers in the Masjids in Denver really wanted Sofia. Phil plopped down beside Sofia one day while she was about to eat something, and that was it. Phil and Sofia currently have one child, and they’re doing great. Sofia would not have done well in a marriage this young, nine being the youngest possible age that Aisha, the wife of Muhammad, got married. Sofia is a true Muslim if I must say so after my own heart. Elizabeth and I met today over some furniture and moving and stuff. But we still have to get the bed frame out of my friend’s apartment. I should’ve probably said to Elizabeth, “What are those child brides doing with Isis?” And what of Boko Haram? Elizabeth would say that this is a twisted view of the real Islam. But I can’t just read the guys like books right when I open them up. I’m not one to read a guy like that, but I’ll confess I skip to the end of a book when my body tells me to.
Some guys in Islam don’t treat their wives with respect. Even beating a disobedient wife is bad. But Elizabeth is trying her darndest to find a good man she can retire with. Well, not exactly retire. And the cool thing is that Elizabeth is over fifty! And she’s happy! Should those Yemeni girls and women learn a thing or two from her? I think so.
Child marriage will never work in any religion. This means that all Muslims, Christians, Hindus, etc. should never marry under the age of eighteen and not to someone with, if parents are listening/reading, a criminal history that has to do with domestic battery or assault. Native Eskimos did this even. Remember the book entitled, Julie and the Wolves? This book and the other called Julie’s Wolf Pack are about a girl who escapes a marriage she does not want. When a girl often gets into these bad marriages, she will stay there because she feels unwanted after sex. Sometimes even I think that way, but I know Blake wouldn’t want me to feel this way. I can’t wait for Blake and I to make our vows one day, and when I make a promise, I never break it. Never. I promised myself long ago when I was but a child that I would never marry a guy who hit me, but almost did in Georgia. Ugh.
Elizabeth wasn’t happy with Jason, and knowing Jason, he may become the next Faez Ali Thamer. Let’s follow that life of his and see where it goes.
The best and brightest remedy is this: I’d like to see how many of you make videos of children giving birth. I’d like to see YouTube campaigns that state that this problem is cross faith, cross Ethnicity, etc. I will later write a part III about interracial marriages and disability marriages. How do we view these things?
Beth

On the Misguided Definition of Marriage, And How We Must Keep the Covenant For Life

Dear Readers,
It has been brought to my attention through the experiences of many of my blind and disabled friends and older teachers I’ve worked with for life that marriage is not essential, or it has no value at all, or someone can leave a person due to illness if they just can’t live with it. All the counseling in the world, according to one person I spoke with today, won’t stop a person from deciding to leave. While this is true, it defies God. God made man, God made love. Love and marriage should be a covenant with God and the couple for life. Here are some examples of good couples who’ve both defied and accepted the covenant.
Let’s start with my friends from church. There’s a couple called the Robles, who have recently written a book about their experience with illness. Michael and Margaret Roble got married so long ago, and took the Covenant of Marriage in the Christian sense. They promised each other a lifetime of love and loyalty. They then found out that Margaret had an illness, pain and all. Did Michael leave Margaret because of her illness? He easily could’ve said, “I’m a sex man. I would like to leave the wife who can’t.” But no, his choice was to stay with her and find strength in God’s word. He and Margaret are still together. Up until the day one of them dies, they will still be together. That, my friends, is example number one.
Example number two centers around a bride and groom that had a problem. Let’s just say that Blake’s biological parents had him, right? Kathy and her then hubby Michael had a baby boy. The boy was sick, cost lots of money to make well, and then Michael had a choice. Before then, he and Kathy took the same Covenant. They got married so they had to have taken each other for life. Right? No. They split up after Blake’s birth due to the possible burdens that followed. Kathy, however, was devoted enough to take care of her son, who is now the love of my life.
Here’s another example of a better couple. While the Robles defined marriage, the Norris family … I mean, Kathy and her then husband Michael, defied marriage at its best. Illness and disabled children are both common causes of divorce. Mike and Margaret care for each other even in the face of Margaret’s illness. The difference is that the two of them, the Robles, are Christians who find a center point. God is their center, grounding them and helping them stay together. God tells us in his Word that marriage is nothing to play with. Unfaithfulness is obviously part of what not to do in Moses and God’s commandments. So why do people do this sort of thing? Yes, mental illness is a challenge, but is no excuse for leaving. Just because I have a mental issue does not make it ok for Blake to sit there and sleep with girls at a bar. He would never do this, though I catch him joking about friends of mine or beautiful girls he hangs out with. Sometimes I wonder where his brain is, but that’s a different post for a different day.
Here’s another example of a good marriage. Kathy, our same lady who had the problem before, raised her son, but because Blake was adopted by another man, he almost never saw his bio dad if not for the fact that Michael wanted to see his son. Right? So then, the man Kathy married next walked out on her. But then, she said, “I will never marry again for a while.” Good move on her part because predators and money stealing idiots are everywhere, and I think any mother would not want a disabled child and other children in her house to have to deal with a preying man. Well, now, about 25 years later, she found the love of her life. In the face of the death of her second son, with whom she had by the second husband, her current husband is like, “I’m with you all the way.” They go to counseling appointments together, they go out together, do everything together. And who knows when one may go? Their marriage is a block of cement. It’s forever. Their love is forever, and it is ok. Joe has a deep attachment to Blake, which totally is the coolest thing on Earth.
I’ve seen premarital relationships go down the tubes so many times of course. The blind community thinks that marriage is just a fairy tale and can happen in a day. Well, the friend I spoke to has not seen what Jason said and did and tried to do to me. Jason’s mother has no idea what sort of hell he put all the women he was with through. The Marriage Covenant was never respected by these Millennials.
I’ve seen even sighted friends who got divorced. I had a friend called C. She had a husband and a daughter premaritally. The premarital child was ok, her name, G.A.W. Well, G. for short. C. and G. lived in a little house in my old hometown. C. married L., a guy who turned abusive behind closed doors. He did not respect his wife, so guess what? The marriage ended. But there are more divorce cases I can throw out there.
Sometimes divorces happen because the people think they can just get out of a relationship. Maybe they don’t like the way the person picks their boogers, maybe they don’t like the way the dresses look on them, or their boobs aren’t big enough. Or worse, a disabled child, an autistic child, etc. Well, parents of autistic children should know this: the child is not the problem. The parents are. When you have a disabled child or a disabling illness like Margaret Roble’s, there should be no question as to what to do. Part of the marriage vows say that you must stay with the bride or groom “in sickness and in health” and “in rich or poor” “for better for worse.” Why has this gotten misused? Why have the vows been misguided attempts for people to leave their parents? Yes, God says that one should leave his mom and dad and join the bride or groom in marriage, but there’s always that possibility that a disabled child or parent figure can tear apart the family. It wasn’t Blake’s birth that caused the family to fall apart, not initially. It was the man’s choice, and his father eventually had a good relationship with his son. I applaud both parents for at least making an effort for Blake’s life to be as good and happy as possible, but there’s something missing for Blake: he has found his true love. Maybe he hasn’t, but I have a feeling in god’s eyes that will change.
There is a girl I know, my good friend Ashley. Ashley has been cheated on so many times, and it is all because of the Blind young people’s misguided attempts to get married young. Some churches are telling millennials to get married young. That isn’t possible or feasible in some ways. Blind adults are not often taught skills that marriage requires: love, compassion, empathy for your partner. I’m sorry, but most of the divorces occurred due to the just plain “I don’t like him.” Or the plain old “She’s a bad wife and doesn’t give me the good sex I want.” I would never refuse Blake’s affections, and I will never do so till the day I drop dead. That’s what marriage and love are about. You share affection with someone, and that in itself can’t be taught. Ashley herself is among many blind females I spoke of in a previous post that has experienced it all, and yet guys think it ok to cheat on Ashley. I have another friend named Kayla, and she’s found her love. It took a bit of poking and prodding, but Max is the one her heart desires and he’s getting her.
Blake and I have been together for two years. However, many disabled people find themselves ending relationships after a month. The shortest I had was two weeks. I ended things with Richard after two weeks because he failed communications with me. We found each other on Craig’s List. Ugh, I’m not doing that again. In fact, I don’t use Craig’s List for any personals or items for sale. Not at all.
Anyhow, the longest relationships were Blake for two years, and Deq Ahmed for about eighteen months. Blake and I are inching close to May, our anniversary month, and we’re excited. Kathy and Joe are doing fine, and I hope that nobody will think it a good excuse for Blake to leave me because I wrote this. The purpose of this post was to show some people a good and bad example of what marriage is.
Now, let me define marriage. Some of you may not agree, but here it is:
Marriage is the love and affection shared between two partners in a lifetime commitment, and it includes the right to mate, have children, and for a heterosexual relationship that is true. It also includes a lot of love and patience, empathy, Godly love and Godly strength. The current millennial definition of marriage is this: it is a committed relationship with all the same things, but there’s a cost. IF one partner is mentally ill, the other can value the ill person less. It’s just a fairy tale thing, happily ever after and that doesn’t exist. I don’t think any happily ever after ending could make that definition of marriage I speak of. Blake and I will never be happy for the rest of our lives. Neither are my own parents. They’re married. My mom and dad are upholding the Catholic teachings that state, along with any Christian church, that marriage is about a covenant. And it is for life.
So Where is there an excuse to leave your spouse on the grounds that the spouse is too much to take care of? Well, there is none. And my definition and God’s definition of marriage is something that includes love and affection. I’ll do a part 2 of this post about child brides. But here’s what I’m about to say regarding this: child marriage is not a good idea. Arranged marriages are not a good idea if you don’t love that guy or girl. Marriage must include love and affection and intense affection at best. That is how I feel for Blake, and that is how my mom feels for Dad, my grandmothers feel for the grandfathers. I’ll go ahead and use another example before I close the post.
John Moore’s grandparents were a good marriage match. They had faced a lot together, including the joys of childbirth, birthdays, weddings, etc. When the wife got Alzheimer’s Disease, which means having memory loss and plaque in the brain, ewww, the man said, “I’m staying with her.” I applaud John’s grandpa for staying with his late wife until she died of the complications due to the disease. I plan to think about what I want out of mine and Blake’s relationship. For one, we have a lot of love and affections. We share our secrets. I’ve confessed to Blake so much of my secrets I can’t explain. Blake is furious and wowed by some of those secrets. Blake is wonderful, and he’s been there from the get go. I guess God made it much easier on us, and then sometimes hard. Nobody realizes that there is no excuse to leave a person on the basis of mental illness. IF our son or daughter hears voices, Blake and I have no choice. God has put the voices there to challenge us. This is as I say only an example.
I’ll do part 2 on another day.
Thank you all for reading patiently and being thoughtful.
Beth