I haven’t posted in a while as my life’s swamped in many places. I was able to read a great book called Betrayed. It’s written by a British foster mother, Rosie Lewis, single mom of two. She has a sixteen-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son. This woman was sweet and took in Zadie, 13, a Muslim girl who turned out to hide an awful secret. As expected, the secret will take the reader on a wild roller coaster ride, and I will say one thing about the ending of this book: it is absolutely amazing. The British foster system by far seems to try and accommodate many people, including the Muslim population, but there’s something that bothered me about the family in the book that was featured.
Rosie had to work with Zadie’s dad, and you bet the dad had issues with girls having options in their lives. This is a common problem with girls in Muslim families. Now, I was a convert to Islam at some point, but had to leave because of the discouragement from practicing it. It was obvious when my dressing was noticed by blind and sighted people. I could not buy the right clothes anywhere, and sadly, a headscarf with “I’m a freak” written all over it was present at a psychological evaluation. Some guy named Dr. Benson invalidated my religion at the time, saying I was “pretending to be Arab.” Well, I am not pretending anything. What is this! For one, this statement is an opinion, and it should have been written in the following manner: “She identifies as Muslim and bears the headscarf.” There is no excuse for telling me that Islam is bad. It is not all bad. There are child marriages in most other places too, not just Islamic countries. Look at the Hispanic poor Catholic women and girls who are forced or cannot date, so they can’t just wait. There are Hispanic girls, Hindu girls, and other girls who marry at young ages.
Betrayed gives you a viewpoint that almost nobody would understand if they’d been brainwashed the way Zadie had almost been. Zadie’s dad is serious when he barks at her, and with the narration being so perfect it captures the reality of the situation, one can’t help but not put Betrayed on the shelf, the virtual shelf that is. When I finished reading, I asked myself, “Why did you leave Islam?” Well, here are my reasons:
1. The social consequences were so profound, and my family was really littered with bad words to say about Islam, and they did not want to care about what Jesus had done and said as written in all three Holy books, whatever.
2. Wearing the veil was stupid and made a doctor make me look like a total fool.
3. This is the most important. Forced marriage and FGM are common practice in Somalia. My boyfriend at the time was indeed Somali, and while I have no bad things to say about him, there’s always that risk. What if an old aunt says that my half-Somali daughter must be circumcised in order to find a husband? I have two or maybe one word for this: bullshit. What if that same daughter was watched like a bird in a cage by Deq or other family members, even if Deq didn’t like this practice? Would she face honor killing as a result of not marrying the ones her grand uncle or father wanted? What if she has to marry a Hajji who has three senior wives? My daughter has rights, but about 70% of the time in abusive families, those rights are not acknowledged. A good example of a strong Muslim woman I know is Elizabeth. She has a son and a daughter and a grandson. Her son is really great, and he has a lot of Qur’anic knowledge and goes to a Muslim school. While this is good for some, I don’t know perhaps if the boy will respect women. Will the young man end up committing something atrocious? We recently heard Isis was planning and posted a hit list of American service members’ pics, names, and addresses and location info. This is stupid. What if I was on such a hit list for leaving? I hope not.
The daughter, Elizabeth tells me, married a non Muslim. This guy treats her better than most of the brothers in the community, so Elizabeth approves. She loves both her kids, and her grandson, the grandson she has by her daughter and the husband, is a really sweet little guy. He’s about six I think, maybe four or five. I miss her. Elizabeth knows that Blake is good for me, but even if I was Muslim, I could never marry any of the brothers. Reason? The brothers aren’t my type. I don’t have any courage to let some stranger have sex with me. Obviously, I won’t be having a baby by some stranger, and what if that stranger thinks I should not leave the home? That is a problem, and I don’t leave as it is, and I don’t have a real job. But the potential husbands I would have faced would have been discouraging of me to marry Deq or any blind man in my life. Their reasons were that we could not take care of ourselves and each other as blind people. Once again, ignorance has permeated any ounce of the brothers’ ability to really look in to the faith they practice. Yes, Islam was not the main reason I left. The abuses associated with it, the psychological consequences, the doctors, all that were good reasons to have to go. Of course, I want to sell different things I had. But I still keep the rug so that if Deq wants to drop in and take my floor to pray on, he can do so. See? I am accommodating in that sort of way. But a Muslim woman does not need to acknowledge that only half of the inheritance goes to her. Elizabeth is a single convert mom, and she will ultimately be the one in charge of her son’s stuff until he turns eighteen. Period. The boy will marry the person he wants, and as long as Elizabeth approves. My hope is that the young man does not marry someone who is prone to break down too much. Honestly, Blake is someone who stands by me all the time. HE has waved pom poms and cheered me on, metaphorically. Anyhow, the real true reason I had to go was the guardianship’s impact on relationships. Deq could not get a real marriage going with me, and we could not do things together. After Jason, I just about broke down and tried the local dating scene, but God must’ve said, “No, Blake has been waiting for you.” Now, Blake is here, and he is the mortal I trust with all my life. I wouldn’t trust anyone else, and that’s a fact. I can’t learn to trust some guy that I just met, and just because some religious community asks me to marry him.
Another concern that I have is my new found faith in God is being tested at work. The boss is telling me that I can’t strike up a Godly conversation at work, and says it’s inappropriate for that reason, that it’s inappropriate and that it’s offensive to nonreligious peoples. Well, I bet that L., a guy in my club who’s Jewish, wouldn’t care less. I can relate to Jews, Muslims, and Christians, all because of Abrahamic descent. That’s what I see. The Jews have their Passover coming around the corner, and my church is going to have a real good seder meal, so yeah. It’s not exactly the worst thing in the world to do a seder at a Christian church.
My hope is that DVR will shut up and realize that I am a faithful woman to God, and I won’t be tested too harshly to the point of death. Christ did that already, and I won’t die alone. There was a lady in Sudan, Miriam Ibrahim, a lady with two kids by a Christian guy, who was going to be hanged in Sudan for being Christian at all. She got safe passage thank God because someone signed a bunch of petitions, and the UN and I guess other organizations cried out, “Justice!” Well, Miriam is fine, and her husband, Daniel and kids, are all doing good. I guess Sudan is just bad. Their forced Islam is not a real religious practice, and if I talk Jesus in front of someone there, I could die. Honestly, I won’t attend job club if this continues. I’m not sure if I should go to my work group at all because this is all about how to get wealthy, a fleshly requirement that my parents could impose on the potential of Beth and Blake.
My friends, please pray for us. I’m considering what God is telling me and I’ll have to wait for what they say at work tomorrow. I plan to wear a Crucifix necklace I got at a flea market sale. It was an old flea market sale in Winter Park in Florida and I was at some rehabilitation place. I bought the necklace because it seemed fine as a charm. I loved the beads, and it had been custom made. Blake has a cross talisman he got from his dear grandma. I have had a cross before, but this one that I plan to wear has Jesus nailed to it in a beautiful engraving. Let’s see if anyone says anything.
Well, thank you all for supporting the Denverqueen Blog of Weirdness. …