A Problem Surrounding the Disabled Female Community

Dear Readers,
It has come to my attention, and this really bugs me, that a lot of disabled females around the world, not just here in the U.S., are sexually mistreated in one way or another. Whether denied sex or given the wrong type of sex, females with disabilities are often not cared for and about in the state home system, not allowed to marry, or sterilized because a man may view her as asexual. Well, I’ve got bad news for you punks out there who think it wise to give women the butt end of the bread loaves. Women, no matter what disabilities we have, are sexual beings with rights. We have rights to not have sex or have sex depending on what we’re doing at the stage of life we’re in. About 60% of disabled females are likely to be raped as teenagers this year. When I talk to at least ten females, about eight of them will say they have been raped or sheltered as teenagers. If you’re disabled and female, you are more likely to suffer consequences for a guy’s actions. This includes but is not limited to unwanted pregnancy, which did happen to a young woman in training at CCB who had been impregnated before. Her name has not been given for privacy reasons. I’ve spoken to others who’ve told stories of brutal assault, rape, and simply being taken advantage of. Blind men and sighted men alike must learn that females with disabilities are not asexual beings. We’re just like other women, and we don’t like rape and sexual assault.
Here’s a remedy I would probably put out there: a comprehensive sex ed class for all middle schoolers, boys and girls, that includes stuff about disabled females being sexual beings. For disabled females and exceptional education students who are female, I’d include the anatomy parts, right? But then we have to sit down and do a few scenarios. What do you do when an older man approaches you and puts you on his lap in uncomfortable positions? Well, that’s the rhetorical question that leads me to think about something else. When a man loves a woman, what does he do? Well, sex isn’t always the answer.
Take me and Phillip Haynes, an ex boyfriend of mine who was really sweet. We didn’t have sex. We never did. In fact, since he was so young, I didn’t want him to have sex with me. I wasn’t in the mood to have a baby in Florida, where the backwoods laws would apply to my baby’s bond with me, invalid. Phillip was a sweetheart, but a bit under the bridge with his understanding of blindness. I still think of Phillip, but only as a friend. We kissed, but even after we broke up, it was like, um, he still wanted me back. But face this: I’m not going to marry Phillip. He’s simply too damn young and not able to understand blindness as much as I do. He’s never lived blind, he never took buses, never used a cane. I would prefer someone who could and did and will do so for life. In other words, I want someone blind. As a blind female, I’ve had to watch the actions of other girls and boys in school. In general public school, I’ve had to be single a lot, never got my sixteen year old first kiss thing at all, and never went to senior prom. While this went on, I had a love for several men in school, but those loves were not allowed to grow. My parents and brothers never thought that their sister and daughter was capable of falling in love, and being a sexual being with a human mind and thought pattern. About 90% of blind children in families with sighted parents and siblings are sheltered, and because of this, risks go up dramatically. I know this because I’ve spoken to other women and girls with disabilities.
One of my friends, C., had a particularly brutal case of rape and assault at the age where she should have been in the junior prom and … yes, maybe given a better handle on training with a guy. C.’s case is something that repeats itself though with J., another girl who was raped at thirteen. While there are even sighted girls who get this at thirteen, rape is preventable and should never happen. It is not beautiful if a child pops out. Rape is rape. Period.
In J.’s case, she didn’t know the boy who did it, and the police would not be able to believe J. or C. because they are both totally or partially blind or visually impaired. While there is no intellectual disabilities going on, J. and C.’s cases demonstrate that we need to be nicer to females with disabilities.
Let’s begin the process now. What can we do to solve this problem? Easier said than done, but I could write a whole book about why we need to take better care of females with disabilities, and it starts at birth.
Imagine a girl who is blind, let’s call her Jane Doh, born in 1980 or earlier. Miss Doh was born in a family where sex isn’t talked about until she is about eight. When she is born totally blind, her parents do most of the right stuff, including enroll her in school to learn Braille, but they fail in a highly important subject. Jane goes to school and learns Braille, but not streetsmarts. The teacher may say to the parents, “She’s not going to have children.” Now, let’s fastforward Jane’s birth to about 2000. She’s a millennial baby, but that seems to make no difference. Total blindness and Braille skills are emphasized, but again, streetsmarts aren’t. Let’s imagine Jane going on a little outing with a friend on a sunny day in Florida or Colorado. Let’s picture her on an empty and quiet street walking home with a friend, and they’re going to sleep at the friend’s house. The friend doesn’t know this, but a weirdo guy, let’s call him Bob Doh, is looking at Jane in the most heinous way. He walks up to Jane and says, “Hey.” That simple Hey could lead to the next thing, which could be an unwanted abduction. Bob grabs Jane, pulls her pants or skirt down, and … yeah. Without training because of parental restrictions on funds, Jane could risk an unwanted pregnancy no matter what she does. At fifteen or thirty, Jane is still fertile and can be pregnant depending on the conditions she is born with associated with disability. Some blind women do have hormonal imbalances which permeate their lives, but let’s omit those with our Jane.
Jane’s rape could have been prevented with the following scenarios: her parents could have given her martial artist training. Now, we all know Blake is not a girl, but still, tae kwon do training and karate and other martial arts can lower a girl’s chances of not surviving attempted or actual rape. As a blind fighter, I feel that jane would have a better advantage. By fifteen, which is the millennial age she’s at, or let’s say chronological age, she is able to be pregnant, and so this is what she has to learn: first, the school must include Jane in all the sex ed stuff. For Jane’s high school, let’s just say the teachers tell her parents, “She is absolutely required to take sex ed because she has more risks than you all do.” I think all students, regardless of ability, should be given mandatory sex ed, and it can’t include abstinence only until marriage things. The whole program should start with the girls’ and boys’ eleventh birthdays. That’s the average age a boy evolves in to a biological man, and about the average age a girl reaches the menarche. That’s the very first time she gets her periods. Because of this, girls are more at risk, so I think even all students should be given a rigorous sex ed program that includes what to do if a girl is raped. Birth control should be implemented for teenagers without parental consent. I mean, if Jane’s rape happens and the current law structure remains in place, the parents may say, “Ok, we’re going to take Jane’s stuff out so she can’t have kids.” They might also say, “She’s incapable of x, y, and z.” Jane’s parents may be the worst of parents, or they could be the best. But let’s say that Jane received Rape aggression Defense training as well as karate and support from school sex ed programs like the one I described. Jane would, in the scenario in the quiet street, say to Bob, “Get away from me.” She’d assume the fighting stance, then, when her clothes are manhandled off, she’d spring into action. Weaponry would also be a problem, but with the aid of Jane’s strength, even without flourishes, she will be able to ward off pregnancy. IF the rape goes through, Jane’s school would say, go to the nearest ER or hospital room. The doctors would give her birth control pills or a morning after birth control pill, which Jane would take without a parent’s permission because it’s a sexual emergency. Some parents are kind of old school as I’ve said before. Another way to apprehend a predatory rapist chasing after our Jane is for her to hold the guy down after the old kick in the groin. She must, if anything, scream, and hope that someone runs past. Remember the 911 post I did before? Let’s say that Jane has a smartphone, a bit of support from her school or family, and she uses the emergency app. The police would run by and pick up Bob, and that would be the end of Bob and possibly an unwanted pregnancy at too young an age.
Now, here’s another scenario that could hurt Jane’s chances of success in life: rape and sexual assault by known attackers. One thing a rapist tells his victim is that nobody will believe her. With Jane’s blindness being in question as a factor in the cops’ unbelief, Jane may have no trust in the cops or her community. We need to believe all the victims until we see the rape is fake. We must evaluate all victims of a supposed rape so we can best be the judge. In Jane’s case, we have to take it seriously. We must seek cooperation from Jane, collect DNA evidence, and use it to place her Bob at the scene. Jane and Bob will both have to face each other in a courtroom, and Jane will have to tell Bob that he is an animal who doesn’t deserve a girlfriend. Bob will likely go to jail with the proper proof, and a doctor’s medical records would be enough proof. Defense attorneys can say all they want that Jane’s blindness or visual impairment make it impossible for her to identify the rapist, but the doctors’ DNA evidence would say otherwise. Sort of a law and order SVU episode, right? It’s not that simple.
Now, what are Jane’s chances of succeeding in life after two different scenarios? Rape and not being raped? Well, a rape victim is likely to be insecure, inept at trusting others, unable to be friends with the opposite sex, etc. I see all the classic symptoms of mistrust of community in about 50% of females who were raped as young girls. Let’s suppose Jane went to a therapist named Jessica. Jessica analyzes Jane and determines that the rape had a psychological impact on her ability to trust. Supposedly she can’t deal with guys, and withdraws from everybody, and has flashbacks, nightmares, etc. Jane must be treated for this brutal attack or she will either become a predator herself, which is very rare, or be unable to secure a job, marriage, and home. Susan Brown-Miller says that rape is a dominating game that men like to play with women, and it’s humiliating. She was what the people of the 1960s called a radical feminist. Well, I say that even the feminists are correct when they say that rape humiliates the woman. Today, anti-choice politicians think it’s ok to make decisions for a woman who’s been raped. It’s almost akin to the Muslim way of dealing with it: punish her for fornicating. Well, in America, we don’t do this. Everybody’s fine, and rape does make the woman feel dirty, but if she learns that she is not dirty and she is a clean person with a clean heart in God, she is fine. I’ve been slutted out, so to speak, for having had two partners before, but none of those were nonconsentual or casual either. But looking at the victims of rape today, I see a really disturbing pattern. Some of the rape victims come down with pregnancy at too early an age. Others have a psychological issue or two, and others, in more general senses, become stronger. It’s rare for a woman to become a female predator, as I’ve read case studies of such a lady. Predisposition is what they call it.
Well, gotta shut down his poor PC for the night. I hope all of you have enjoyed this not so weird post, and find it important that all females with disabilities get the support they need from family and friends so that they can have a more fulfilling life. Society doesn’t help this crisis.
Beth

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

4 thoughts on “A Problem Surrounding the Disabled Female Community”

  1. Beth, you say it correctly.
    en and women can be victims of rape but women being raped is always more often reported on.

    You’re right.

    People who are raped disability or no disability find it almost impossible to get over something as traumatic and horrific as rape.

    I have a friend who has a learning disability and she was in an abusive relationship quite a while ago.

    isclaimer.

    What I’m about to say may horrify you.

    End disclaimer.

    I went to a workshop put on by a couple of agencies in my town which ran for between 6-8 weeks and it was all to do with relationships.

    The workshop was called the up close and personal workshop.

    I met this young lady when I was doing physio theropy so I could improve my fitness and it happens that her mother had a stroke quite sometime ago and her father had had a couple of serious heart attacks.

    All was fine and she was easy going when I met her at the physio.
    It was when I met her in the group setting a few weeks later that she withdrew inside herself just a bit and her vulnerabilities I did eventually witness.

    It was the second to last session at this workshop that I got quite a shock.

    This woman revealed to us she had been raped and I just sat there. Stunned.

    I was almost in tears myself when I heard this because telling us this had upset her greatly.

    It’s often something you hope never to hear but when you do hear it you don’t know what to do or say.

    I question what’s the point of saying sorry when you haven’t a clue what the person’s been through and you’ve never had to deal with something like that

    But I can gather that this can always be a factor towards anxiety and depression.

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    1. Musta been very shocking to hear. The reason why I put those figures in backs in there about the females was that it was obvious to -0 and send it was related to me thermocouple cases. I’ll bet that if you put the entire nations worth of disability related rape case is together you probly -0 1 big number.musta been very shocking to hear. The reason why I put those figures in backs in there about the females was that it was obvious to -0 and send it was related to me thermocouple cases. I’ll bet that if you put the entire nations worth of disability related rape case is together you probly -0 1 big number.

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  2. there was news on Wednesday morning that a teen age girl was stabbed to death whilst going for a walk in a park in Subburban oncaster in elbourne Australia which a lot of people consider a safe suburb to live. What sickens us the most here is this attack was at random and unprovoked at least the guy who did this got charged for it but our former premier who heads the depression organization beyond blue said that women shouldn’t be walking around in poorly lit areas but these comments have insensed womans groups because it’s walking away from the violence against women issues and let me tell you after this girl was murdered CCTV footage followed the guy as he caught a bus so they were able to clamp down on him straight away. Question is though and my father and I were talking about this yesterday was what affect would mace have had on the attacker and some people don’t even have time to react if somebody is trying to rape or attack them especially if they’re attacked from behind and if they’re wearing headphones they have no chance.

    Like

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