As I was listening to the sobering ad in the Super Bowl lineup, I was not surprised that a lady in a 911 call was trying to order pizza in order to disguise her true motive, to turn in her abuser. The emotional abuse of loved ones is prevalent in our culture. We know that domestic violence affects lots of different types of people. Mostly, it can affect vulnerable ladies and gentlemen. Domestic violence affects, more than ever, disabled, black, and some white women. There are many wives married to police officers who ultimately batter the wives. This isn’t good.
You may ask, how can we best curb this? Well, I have a plan. We need a big cultural makeover.
1. All men, regardless of age, should take a Domestic Violence prevention class at school or whatever. This would be the same class that Chris Brown had to take as a result of beating up Rihanna, and Rihanna still cared? She should have seen right through it. However, the domestic violence prevention class would cover all the subjects dealing with violence. If a man owns and operates a gun, he should be taught some things about not using the gun (if he’s a police officer) at home with his wife unless it’s to protect her from harm. That’s it. Some men just don’t get it.
2. During said domestic violence prevention class, men should be made to watch videos of women calling the police against their husbands. They should also be made to watch trials where men confess they battered their wives. The trial evidence should point at the events of emotional as well as physical abuse.
3. All people, men and women alike, should take mental health and wellness training and awareness classes. Part of these classes should involve emotional and physical abuse prevention. As part of the curriculum, said attendees of the classes should be made to watch videos of therapy sessions, well, not therapy sessions, but doctors and others talking about said sessions. In therapy where domestic violence is the topic, the social worker should be more aware of how these domestic violators act. Sometimes, we overlook the men who emotionally abuse their wives, force them to have sex, force them to do what they are told regardless of what the wives want.
4. As part of health and wellness training, all women should be emotionally “vaccinated” against domestic abusers by way of a symptom checklist. I’ll write the checklist right here:
If the man hits you, it’s bad, and it should be stopped.
IF you feel like there are too many rules in the relationship, it won’t work. It could lead to physical violence against you.
If you are not being allowed to call the man lovingly as the first name or some other name, that’s a clue. He could make you call him Master. Except in a martial arts atmosphere like Tae kwon do or Karate, Master is not an acceptable title. Lord is also unacceptable. Women calling their husbands Lord or Master are being emotionally manipulated or abused.
5. Ok, those obvious signs go out to the victims. The social workers need to change the way men think. We need to also change the way women are viewed. I’ll explain some more, so here goes:
Ever watched movies and seen how the women are portrayed? It starts when you’re little, so let me explain. Princess movies like Frozen depict women as pretty badass and daring, while other movies depict the women as submissive and timid. I would watch the historic stuff like Gone with the Wind only for historical purposes only. The kids should be allowed to watch character strengthening stuff. I wouldn’t mind Frozen so much, but there are other princess movies I would not condone. For instance, children as young as four years old need to be taught while watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs that girls are not only beautiful, but badass to. I would not allow them to think that a princess had to be pretty and frail and timid. Here’s another example: in the Little Mermaid, the Sea King demands that his daughter stay away from humans because they’re all fish eaters. While the Sea King’s logic is there to protect his own daughter and family, he has just put in little kids’ minds the concept of prejudice. “Don’t associate with him/her. He/she is a scalper/warrior.” That’s aimed at Native Americans, and such a logical statement could be the result of a prejudicial learning. “Stay away from the Chinese. All they do is make you made by not speaking our language. They eat us.” What? This is all a result of YOUR CHOICES and wrong thinking about people with regards to the Sea King’s statements about human beings. Ariel fell in love with a human prince. Big deal, King. So why are you trying to portray all humans as predatory when some of us don’t like seafood? Well, bad news for you, Sea King, I’m a seafood lover, but guess what else? I don’t eat mermaids. So stop thinking that I’m gonna eat your daughter. Your statement just told a lot of people it’s ok to portray others with bad thoughts. “Stay away from her. She’s mentally ill.” “Stay away from him, he wears the wrong style of clothing.” These quotes come as a result of your bad thinking in a movie!
Ok, that’s what your kids are watching. Movies with weird statements like that could lead elsewhere. Here’s another problem that needs to be solved: kids in black and otherwise less affluent communities should not watch violent and sexually violent movies. While hard to do, this measure needs to really apply to all kids, and all communities as well. How can we prevent this? Why not do a labeling system on DVDs? Place a green label on movies that are good to watch with kids, like Frozen. Place a yellow label on those movies that have suggestive content, perhaps the PG and PG-13 ones. On R rated movies with action and violence, not including but not even limited to Star Wars or Star Trek or other sci fi thrillers, put a dark red label on it. On each of the colored labels, I propose we write, “Appropriate for this age group, does not contain suggestive content.” For yellow labels, write, “Suggestive content is present such as sex, violence, or light amounts of bad language.” The yellow labels should have different shades to mean different amounts of bad content. No child under a certain age can watch movies with said labels on them. They must be taught this from a very young age. Even when watching a green labeled DVD, parents, teach your children that some of the stuff, like the King Tritan’s prejudice against humans, is bad. Saying to his daughter that all humans are bad promotes stereotyping in a watcher’s brain. Let’s continue.
The red labels should say, “Warning: no child under the age of eighteen may watch this. This film contains violence, sexual content, heinous portraits of women or girls or vulnerable peoples, and other forms of suggestive language and content. Parents, please watch the film with your children.” The labels should be light red for R, a bit darker red for even worse, but R still, and then dark dark red for the most vile content. Ok, that’s a good idea. I hope the Classification and Ratings Administration will jump on board with this. Imagine a world of movies with those said basic labels on them. You’d go to a store with your kids, and they’d go, “Why can’t I watch this?” As a parent, you say, “Because it has a red label on it. It’s bad.” In the mind of a four- or seven-year-old, this makes a lot of sense. I would never let my kids watch R rated movies. Much less anything not G rated or E rated. The same thing applies to video games. Grand Theft Auto would have a red label on it, and it would say the following warning, “Do not watch or play this material if you are under the age of eighteen. This contains horrific sexual content, violence, and suggestive language.” However, the E rated games with racing cars in them would say something like, “E. This game can be played by all ages and does not contain violence and suggestive language.” The problem with this culture we have is that kids are getting a hold of the what would be the red labeled games and movies.
I think the biggest problem that can lead to domestic violence is that a lot of parents don’t realize that their fighting and squabbling can lead the kids to believe that it’s ok to beat up Mom or Dad, meaning their own significant other. It’s ok to fight with your friends, pick on them, bully them.
Another problem we must teach is the prevalence of bullies and bullying online and in the real world. I’ve read countless accounts of where a vulnerable person, mainly a gay guy, a woman, or a disabled female or male is bullied, and nobody listens or does anything about it. If you’re a teacher and reading this, you know how it goes. Bully says, “You wart head. You have an STD. Get away from me or I’ll kick your ass.” You say, “Stop it, little kid. What do you honestly think you’re accomplishing by doing this?” Most domestic violence doers are former schoolyard and internet bullies. This has been scientifically proven and should be obvious by the way most of the trial evidence pops up. You find the prison psychologist is overrun with, “My client bullied people and had abusive parents and was mentally unstable.” Well, had your stupid clients had a class in domestic violence and bullying prevention, maybe this wouldn’t be as bad a problem. Part of the big problem in colleges with sexual assault so common in their partying atmospheres is that men are not taught that men can’t do these things to women., Here’s what I also propose we do to the roles of men and women.
Men should be taught that women, whether you like it or not, get the results of sexual activity with them. Women get pregnant. Duh. Right? Well, some men think all disabled women are sterile and don’t need condoms with them. That’s also wrong. I have all my parts working just fine, but no man is allowed to mess around with them. Men need to understand the sacredness of women’s roles in the family. It is the women who carry kids, and as such, they are the ones who should be given all the respect in the family. Men must be taught that a woman in labor could literally break down. It’s not even funny. If I were in labor, I’d scream at my partner if the partner was choking me. That’s an obvious thing. I’d also scream at my partner if he did something I didn’t want. When you’re in labor, you’re totally lost in the moment, trying to give birth to the little one. I’ve seen this written down, not the words exactly, but a woman in labor is someone to be reckoned with because of the fact that her role is sacred, her act is sacred, and her intimate parts are revealed in the hospital. Nurses and doctors will tell you that a woman and a female animal do the same things, and both have the same attitude with regards to their young. Both care for their young, and we must adopt said attitude about our women as well. Men as head of the family has ultimately been the worst mistake, not that big a mistake though. Saying that only men can head a family is a means for men to ultimately usurp power from women and say that a woman is a step above the children. Well, women must not be beaten, so if a child is bad, the child can’t be beaten either. In my view, there is no place for any vulnerable persons to be handled in this way by the upper subgroup, mainly the males.
I hope this domestic violence prevention class and the cultural makeover will work. It’s more than just labeling the media, but we need to also control carefully and teach carefully. Teaching is great, but mental health screenings should also tell the patient and caregivers what the patient’s potential is, for instance the patient has this disease and could be rendered a serial killer if therapy and counseling are not done. IF the patient screened has this other disease like drug addiction, patient is likely to do the domestic abuses and so on. Statistically, most drug addicts and especially alcoholics have a tendency to do battery towards women and vulnerable others. This sort of behavior is not condoned by society, but unknowingly, by not screening potential patients in the community care system, we condone such behavior. Not everybody needs a diagnosis or label on them, especially children. However, if a person is acting truly irrationally, threatening vulnerable others and wanting to kill animals other than wasps or bees and dangerous other things, then the person’s mental health should be called into question. This along with the other measures taken together should probably curb domestic violence. Then, we don’t have to worry about women calling 911 and delivering pizza to operators, but in fact she wants to get rid of an abuser. The last thing I’ll say is that women should not be afraid to tell off their abusers if this still goes on. For instance, someone should say, openly and without remorse, “My husband is being abusive. He beat me for the last three days. He is making me call him strange things. Blah blah blah.” Even before a 911 call is issued, a woman should look carefully at the man behind the mask. IF a man is charming, like my ex was, he might likely be a domestic violence initiator. I was fooled by the man’s charm, and he therefore abused, but it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t see. Now that I know what it’s like to be in such a bad relationship and what it’s like to feel ashamed, I will never do it again. Ever.