The Day Is Almost Here

Dear Diary,
It really makes me sick that anyone would do what Carol and Ashley are doing to each other. Seems Ashley and Carol aren’t getting along. I’m a bit worried. But more so, I’m worried that friends are saying that I abuse Blake. What? Excuse me, but I thought Blake loved me, and people don’t realize that I love Blake more than the world itself. Blake is just one little star in the sky, but to me, he shines brighter than all of them. Blake is something that I love, someone I love, somehow the only person who I will trust myself with. I’m done with men after II supposedly lose Blake. He said, and I quote, “If this escalates to drama, I will ask for my freedom back.” What? You imply that the relationship I wanted with you is like a prison. Well, Blake, you don’t seem to get it. You don’t seem to get it all. You’re not being confined to prison, not unless your mother and dad exploit your blindness as a disabling condition that disables you from taking care of yourself, takes away your civil rights, then tells you that they don’t wanna hear anything about civil rights for the blind. Well, mom and dad, after you don’t wanna hear about my civil rights, I think it would be best to cut you guys out. You did not express interest in coming to see me on the basis of hanging out or wanting to know more, and you didn’t see what was here. I’m doing my darndest to keep food in the fridge and pantry, food on my table, food, food, and more food. I’m doing my darndest to keep the money from going too far in the negative, but you can’t put enough in my account. I don’t give a care about finances at this point because all you want me to have is SSI and food stamps. YIou neglect seeing me and don’t support me as well as you did Danny and Tommy in their adolescent years. You spent over thousands of dollars on track stuff, a trumpet for Danny, and athletic shoes and … you all’s obsession with fitness has taken me out of the picture. You love to go running, and that’s not an activity I enjoy. You obsess about NASCAR, football, basketball, and so on, without including me in conversations. That is unacceptable. Blake watches baseball and football and NASCAR and basketball, but does he exclude me from his life to go trash his living room and watch sports all day? Well, no. I have a rule: if the guy is obsessed with videogames, sports, and violence, I don’t take him. Case in point, Ben and Aaron. No, not Ben Bloomgren, Blake, but Ben Breen. NOthing against Breen, but he and Reed, Aaron Reed, are obsessed with videogames. How many hours does Breen clock in with his Xbox and play Injustice? Does he have a job? No to the job, and many hours to the videogames. What is wrong with this picture? Aaron Reed is a twenty something grown adult, doesn’t have a job, and does not do anything with his life but date women and not even think about using Kentucky’s Rehab resources to get a job. Sadly, this is a prevalent problem with so many people who are blind, and males are affected most of the time by this thing. Jason Owens, the subject of harassment cases and a bully himself, is obsessed with porn, violent acts, and depraved online sex with women. Look at the sounds he puts into SpongeBob edits and episodes. Some of those edits have to do with “sexual intercourse”, “sex with children”, etc. While some of these are funny, they do not exactly constitute someone who is not supportive of a violent culture or sexually depraved culture. Well, Mom and Dad, you advocate a fit culture that excludes the disabled, and do not support my relationship with Blake. Therefore if you act any further in a negative way toward me and Blake, we will disown and cut you off and won’t let you see our kids. Blake and I want to have kids naturally and save money on adoptions from China and India and such. Blake and I wouldn’t be able to afford an adoption from Vietnam even. Only Vietnamese families it seems are allowed to adopt blind girls, and so many of them are left in orphanages. We want kids, and the only way to do it is to do it naturally, good old conception and pregnancy and all. Don’t like it, Mom, Dad, and others? Too bad. And Blake, I would never confine you to anything, so don’t ask for freedom, and there’s no freedom in this world for us. We don’t have freedom to do anything easily. Open a sighted person’s eyes and they automatically have access to a world of knowledge and books and research materials. For us, PDF files have to be made accessible, webites have to have everything labeled, and there’s no way to learn cooking unless hand over hand is used. Some parents are not qualified for the discovery method. Forget it. I don’t think any parents who are sighted and have never had blind kids in their entire lives are qualified, except for Cathy Babcock, who among other things cares about people with specialties. Needs like blindness are always on Cathy’s mind. I love that lady, even if she does not love me. I don’t care if she cares, I care. It doesn’t matter. Other parents, like my mom and perhaps others, are not qualified because they don’t have exposure to groups like ACB and NFB who can help. Blake and I really need to be supported by others, and it seems nobody cares at all about our cause. We want to end bullying online in all states, but we want to start in Georgia and the South. Sounds weird, but true.
As I write, I’m not able to get too much sleep, and I swear if I sleep during the day, I’m dead. Dead. I wish I was able to sleep at night and at night only, EVERY DAY! But alas, I’m blind and have no light perception. I don’t want to take a med that has the side effect of nightmares and hasn’t been studied in preconception and pregnant women. Forget it.
That’s all I have to say at this moment.

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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