Well, it’s been a crazy two days, and I finally have the courage to write this.
Dear Jason Owens,
Yes, I guess this is truly goodbye. We’re not going to be friends as I thought it would happen. Jason, what you were doing over the last two days is unacceptable and constitutes sexual harassment. This isn’t Gone with the Wind, so fess up. You hacked Carol Weeks’s computer, and she had to uninstall your stupid trackware or … well, I don’t think there was any trackware in your ex’s pc. You desire her, but going about it in such a horrible way constitutes harassment. Kids call it bullying. Well, we’re adults now, so let’s talk … for the last time.
First off, when I met you, I thought you were ok. Well, you’re not. Here’s why:
1. You said women were empty headed and brainless, sort of like Scarlet O,Hara from Gone with the Wind. Well, Katie Scarlet isn’t brainless. She was a woman of her time, marrying men, wanting others. Yes, Melanie Hamilton was a woman of her time, marrying a cousin. Sorry to say, but you were right about the Chrome Disease. I propose that you think about what you said to me shortly after I got back from Atlanta. When I went back to Denver, you held me hostage. First off, Deq is a friend, not a sideline boyfriend and at that time, I always loved you. Well, so did Carol, but we’ll get to that later.
2. You played games you shouldn’t’ve played with me. Jason, because of you making me yell at you so much, i lost a home from a friend. It is not fair. She shut off my Internet and changed the password without my prior knowledge or even telling me she’d do it. Then, she kicked me out of the household. Jason, you are responsible from here on out for this kind of unfair advantage and … on top of this, you are responsible for not being nice at all. The second time I flew in, it was to try and get the love spark back, but face this: you blew your chances of having me again. Jason, I wanted stable housing, a husband, food on the table, etc. I want what every other woman wants, not to be named the property of her husband. Jason, you used hate speech against me and others you’ve dated, including Jennifer Weaver. Do NOT turn the tables against me, EVER! I’m not going to be a victim of your stupid games. No. I won’t.
3. After we broke up, you used blocking and so on to force me not to communicate with you. I had no one to talk to, and you left me thinking I’d never get another boyfriend. I decided that, given the way Americans were treating me at that time, with the exception of Blake, I wouldn’t talk to any of my American blind friends any more. I tried, and failed, to entreat a British man to date and marry me. Ben Breen was the man of my desires, but he turned out to be too much of a gamer. First off, Injustice is a great game. No kidding. I love the way Ben played it. His friend Aaron talks to me from time to time, but Aaron is a sweetie, never has left my mind, and his parents are shocked that anyone’s parents would take civil rights from another. Well, the Danvers-Jukes family is commended for what they’ve said. Your family? Jason, … I don’t have any words to express to you about your own family. Your mother literally doesn’t discipline you. You need a good spanking for the things you did to Carol. See next item.
4. You dated Jennifer Weaver. Well, I was blamed for Jennifer’s seizures. Well, when she dies, and her hourglass is empty, I and you won’t be there. I’ll probably be talking to others, making love with Blake, maybe raising a child or two. I don’t know exactly what my life will do at that point. Well, you make Jennifer look bad, then you made Carol look bad. I think Carol’s friend Cheyenne was smarter than you think. Well, Carol Ann is the best person I know of, and she calls me her “sissy.” Otherwise known as a sister. We’re sisters. I like being sisters with Carol and … yes, Ashley. I’m sorry, but Ashley said the best things yet about Carol, and she doesn’t like you either. What I witnessed the other night was a classic case of cyber harassment. Jason, that’s a felony. You will never hear from Carol again. EVER! Why? You put viruses on people’s computers. I’m gonna have to get someone else to supply me with some instrumentals and not you. I can’t trust you anymore because you cost me a few people as friends. I’ll say this, you also cost Carol her then boyfriend Jonathan. Now, she has no one to date. I’m guarding Blake like he’s a diamond in the rough. Wel, I’d rather be with Blake at the moment than have to deal with you. I ask myself frequently these questions:
1. Why didn’t I just answer Deq’s phone calls?
2. Why oh why did I not answer Blake’s calls when he called me?
Well, Jason Owens, I’m afraid my time here is over. You can’t bully or harass any of us girls any more. We hope you enjoyed the Information Superhighway known as the Internet. For all we know, you have made too many enemies and frenemies on the Net. LEt me give you a disclaimer: I did not intend for this thing to be hate speech. This is a tribute to all the bad Jason has done.
Yes, there was a good time or two we had. Jason, I so wish I could turn back time and bring back the good Jason that existed to please his friends. Why are you de-aging so quickly? Your mental age is probably that of a twelve-year-old boy, but a psychologist will have to evaluate you and see what the damage is, as Dr. Wonka puts it in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Jason, I’d rather you stop and think about some court cases. There was a boy in Pennsylvania who wrote a website c alled Teacher Sucks. He wrote lots of hate speech against the teacher. It was obvious that the boy’s algebra teacher was threatened, and the principal too. Well, I’ll be honest, it wasn’t a good outcome for the boy. Let’s try a case that is more like the Megan Meier case. I could’ve hanged myself in the shower because of your hate speech against me, and the abuses you did. Carol said, and I quote, “I want to die” when you messaged her about her personal crap. Sorry, Jason, but that constitutes hate speech, whether with or without a fake male profile. You thankfully are real, but unthankfully are a real guy. You’re not “Josh Evans”, but you sure do act like it sometimes. Jason, you could’ve been a lot nicer to Carol. When a block comes up, do not unblock yourself and get around it. Do not chase Carol on the Internet any more. Do not ever chase me, Ashley, or Blake either. Blake is keeping an eye on his ladies, making sure they are all happy and safe. Of course, we don’t like some of the crap you pulled the other day. When you said that Ashley’s rape was her fault, you constituted sexist hate speech. Jason, Ashley could broadcast it all over the world. But she did the right thing by reporting it. I hope the Skype staff does something about the hateful things you’ve said to all your victims. Recordings or otherwise, you better delete those dastardly things and go to your toilet somewhere else.
Jason, as John Denver said once, “Goodbye again, I”m sorry to believe in you. Goodbye again, I didn’t know it’s goodbye again …” Yes, and this time, for the last time, I will never hear from your sorry butt again. I”m going to marry Blake, make kids with him someday, and maybe even grow old with him.
We’ll be able to say, as Allan Jackson said in a song, “Remember when.”