How Not to Be A Dick, … And My Audition Day is Here At Last

Dear Diary,

I”m really looking forward to my audition.  Let’s face it.  I’m really looing forward to seeing what others think of my singing, but I’m not looking forward to the total jerks who think blind people should not sing on television.  I’m sorry, but a blind person is usually the juggernaut of paperwork, the burden to their families, and some parents believe they are not to be grown up.  Blind people are often treated like this by dicks, total dicks.  We can’t even name our children “Dick” for fear of what people will say.  Imagine if I named my son “Harry Dick”.  Can you imagine that?  I’d be mortified by a son named that, so I think I’ll go a step further and try naming him “Sue.”  Sue.  Perfect.  Johnny Cash would be proud of me if I named by little man Sue.  But Blake would probably go nuts, nuts and all.

Blake and others should take note: Blind people are often forced to work in call centers, enslaved by a Rehabilitation agency that doesn’t understand what they really want to do, and doesn’t take into account what they are capable of without thinking, I’ll get lots of moola out of the poor blind population.  Rehab agencies are a bane of blind people’s existence, to name one thing they are.  My audition could be a point of light for others, someone could indeed decide to audition.  What if I’m turned down though because of disability?  I knew this would be a problem.  The producers might make me pass a test with psychologists, and they’re going to think I’m out of touch with “reality.”  Geez, Mom, you should have thought before you didn’t let me be a child, so you got rid of every child’s thought in my mind.  Reality is not real.  There’s no such thing as reality.  Reality is whatever you make of it, and the reality I have faced all this time up to now is one of harrowing emotional difficulties and some abusive moments.  By the way, this week, my ex, the biggest bully in the entire United States, Jason D. Owens, yes, I’m not afraid to name you, pulled the biggest stunt with my friend Carol.  Jason said he wouldn’t hurt her, but Carol reported to me last night that Jason said she’d signed a death warrant by being freidns with me and my bf Blake.  Wrong, Mr. Owens.  You need to cool your top.  If you don’t, you’ll get charged with bullying.  I’ll have to report your accounts to Cyber Tip Line, and picking on Carol was wrong.  Carol blocked you for a reason, and she’s not gonna back down.  So don’t even think about contacting me or Blake while you’re behind.  We’re gonna confront you about this issue.

And speaking of Jason and his bullying, we’re gonna talk about a book.  Yes, a book that could help people such as Jason learn basic etiquette.  How Not to Be A Dick By Meghan Doherty.  Yes, it is the absolute best damned etiquette book out there, simple, not as complicated as Emily Post.  The Internet etiquette section  is pretty basic, but simple and to the point.  Whatever you or I post in public blogs IS public.  It’s all public.

I had a weird dream, and it was the night before my audition.  I was with my friend Jessica, and I was hoping to meet Blake there.  Blake came over, and … well, I was holding his hand, and we hugged, then I woke up.  I want something more than that, though.  If not for the dicks in our lives, we wouldn’t’ve been in this position.  A dangerous killer, an overprotetive and overdoing it mother, a dangerous predator on my side of the family or should we say a pair of them?, and a dangerous set of predators in Florida who aren’t related to me.  There you go.  The situations are clearly blocking me from seeing Blake, and I will not be blocked from seeing Blake.  IF anyone decides to do this, they will have to face my rath.  God’s rath be upon you who try and act like a total dick, and don’t let me see Blake.  Blake is mine, my significant other, and from a distance, seems nice, but I want a devout and strong man who understands about blindness and can work with the emotional abuses I’ve suffered, the tortures I’ve been through, etc.  I was caled spoiled and selfish by another friend, who thought he’d cared, but he didn’t.  Whining like a baby wasn’t what happened when he decided to block me on Skype.  I really did have a haunting, a flashback, and it was the same thing that occurred in Parochial school when the kids accused me of making threats.  Let them think this, now I say to myself, for they were never true friends.  Only Kristen was, but she’s gone.  Gone from my life, and forever gone from society’s high ranks.  She went to Japan, I didn’t.  She had a Japanese man; I did not.  Kristen is no longer messaging me for some reason, and that means she’s gone.  If you don’t message me for a long time, you’re gone.  There’s no way I can contact you, and you’re possibly uninterested in contacting me.  Kristen was only one of two people who fell to the steps of disinterest in contacting me.  I’m sorry, but anyone else in the teacher precious’s homeroom did not have the same interests, did not live Christ’s teachings, etc.  Using the R word was another crime they committed against me all because I was blind.  I had to wear a puke plaid uniform, and this was all my parents’ wishes.  Sorry, but Catholic education is not the best thing at all for someone blind.  Catholics don’t like birth control, and want to deny women that coverage.  Birth control isn’t just to prevent pregnancy, it helps with other conditions.  Guess what?  SAndra Fluke was right.  If you’re not sure of what I’m saying, google it.  She talked about why birth control was totally important, and Rush Limbaugh, a radio demagogue who is, for lack of a better way to put it, a dick, said she was being paid to have sex.  Medicaid now covers birth control, which si a good thing for poor women who need it.  I’m not spending hundreds of dollars on contraception.  I need it sometimes, and Blake may need it too.  IF we marry before the psychiatrist approves a medication change, then Blake and i will need to use condoms and birth control pills.  BC pills need to be gotten with Medicaid or insurance, and even $2 could hamper the grocery bill.  I don’t care what you politicians think, but BC coverage is important.  IF I’m raped, that’s another thing.  Blake will be upset, and I don’t want to see a baby before he marries me.  My mother would take the baby away and sign it to a stranger couple.  I can’t have that.  Not at all.

To summ things up, those who so wish to tell me what is and has to be are to me total liars.  I want my life back, and I want someone who can help me get it back.  Blake has done this, and he will get his eternal reward.  God be with Blake, and that’s all I can say.

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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