It is time I told you all this, but I’m auditioning for the Voice, and it’s taking place on the DU campus. I’m looking forward to it, so all of you should know that I’m probably going to sing something country. Maybe not a Miranda Lambert song because if Blake Shelton hated me for it, … well, I don’t know.
I’ve been seeing stuff about bringing back girls from Nigeria. Well, if I could, I would bring them all back singlehandedly, but the Boco Haram people need to bring them back because they took what wasn’t theirs. God, the things we learn in kindergarten.
I learned a long time ago that taking something that isn’t mine isn’t a good thing, so I won’t take Miranda Lambert’s husband no matter how tempting and hot he seems, but Adam Lavigne isn’t for me. He’s weird. Just weird, I don’t know why. Usher is hip hop madness, and he can’t sing worth a shot of liquor because he’s a hip hop guru, and I don’t sing that stuff. Ewwwwww, please let me have Blake Shelton stare at me all day. I want to be a country legend, but hey, if I was poor, I might or could stay poor forever so that nobody notices me. What if the fickle producers don’t do their job? What if they reject me based on income, connections, the lack thereof, etc.? Those producers need to allow me to go on because guess what? Matthew Orts may not have the kind of voice that needs to win. Even if Matt and me competed for the winner’s trophy, I think I’d be the one to get it. I’m sorry, but Rocket Songs dot com isn’t the right place to practice singing. Dang, I don’t know what to do next.
Ok, maybe I was being a little bit sarcastic, but I’m sure that I should write a bit of a note to Blake Shelton only the day before the audition so that he notices me, … if not on the stage, then on twitter. Right. As if anyone would notice me. I don’t think the producers know who they’re messing with. They’ve got someone who’s better than Aretha Cadner, some lady on American Idol, and she was named. She didn’t have any thing but a poppish black vocal style which didn’t surprise the producers, but she was allowed through. Darn it. I hope I can get past everybody. I have to win so that I can do something with my winnings. I’ll take some and use it for myself, like a nice house for me and Blake to live in, and then the rest of it will go towards building communities and rescuing girls and … and and and and. I don’t know what to do. Any thoughts in the comments would be nice. I need ideas on also what to sing. I was gonna sing a song from a movie, but decided to do a Katie Perry song, but what about Blake Shelton? What about Blake Shelton’s barn and grill and all? I want to find myself with him in a room, staring at him all day. … What ever. Let me take a selfie.