Letter to my Awesome Boss

Top Jobs I Qualify For

Dear Jessey,
This is going to be a tough decision to write this. But the main thing about the job hunt is that I don’t qualify a whole lot for some or if not all of the phone jobs. Some of them don’t have the start pay present on the posting. That doesn’t help a whole darn lot because I want to know where I would stand so far as I’m concerned. It would help if some of those employers would please put experience requirements or start pay up there. Some of the more complete postings require months of telephone experience, and I don’t have that. Even the entry level ones have all that experience required. Some of these companies flaunt diversity, but then again, everybody does. What I’m worried about is upward mobility, promotions to managerial positions, and the possibility that I could be paid less than, say, my bf Blake, who is obviously more competent because he is male. I don’t want to be paid 70% of every dollar, and I don’t believe in a wage gap. I’ve heard of female managers being fired, but I swear I don’t want to be a bad one. But the entry level positions at the bottom of a company aren’t going to help some of the stability issues I’m going through. Jessey, I must say this job hunt is weird. I’d love to do sound tech for music artists though since I’m good at sound editing if taught well. I’m interested in selling, writing, and recording or producing music. Yes, it’s an iffy profession. Yes, it may or may not provide bread and butter for my table, but no, other jobs don’t interest me at all. I’ve received years of piano and choral training, plus a bit of guitar and the rudiments of that. I know what a guitar sounds like, how it’s played, etc., but I only play open chords myself. I love singing, and I get inspiration from others’ music. I want to write a good many songs in my lifetime and bring hope to those who don’t have it. Blind people, let’s face it, have a 70% likelihood of being unemployed or infantilized. Infantile behavior from parents or SSI are the main things that keep blind people from going up the ladder to whatever position they want. There are good blind people and bad blind people. The good ones are the ones like me. The bad ones? Let’s not start with the ones who have excessive sexual appetites and live the easy life, don’t pay child support for playing around with women, etc. Let’s just say that I dealt with a Division of Blind Services Director who denied me the chance to come to Colorado till I fought her tooth and nail. Joyce Hildreth was stomped on, and equally was stomping on others. She almost dashed my hopes of getting the right training at CCB. The current director is sighted and knows well what Denver could bring for blind folks like me. Ms. Hildreth was a bad blind person. Not all blind people are good and employable.
As for what I plan to do with my future, I have been planning things to try and network with producers, singers, and the like to try and make this experience a good one. If I become the next Voice, I plan to get a bigger place to live, get Blake out of Arizona, and possibly marry him asap. Why do you think I’m doing this, you ask? Jessey, I could go into dark stories and a deep dark secret regarding the murder suicide I told you about. I was supposed to fly to Arizona in May to see Blake, but his infantilizing mother decided against it and called it off because I was trying to show Aunt Christine something. Blake’s aunt Christine didn’t like something I said, something I did, etc. She deemed me disrespectful and demanded change. I refuse to “change” because I have a personality already built in. and the foundations are set. I talked to a lawyer who is going to likely deal with my parents and the incompetence order that could prevent me from seeking a future at all. The Guardianship or Conservatorship as some states call it is not healthy and will cause me to lose everything. My parents take pleasure in punishments, it seems. They took pleasure in seeing me poor and unemployed and not doing music. The worst thing was that my mother, while driving me home from parochial school years back, said, “The Britney Spearses and Christina Aguileras get television appearances when they’re ten. You didn’t. So no, you are not gonna make it. Quit fantasizing about being in the music industry.” When I told Blake this, he was furious. Blake loves me and my voice and insists I follow my heart and soul and my dreams. Jessey, I am afraid to tell Richele what there is.
As for the assignment of going on ONet, I almost didn’t find the web address. I went to ONet dot com, and found it too tiny to think it was the jobs site, but found another O Net occupation site and explored it a bit. I am interested in doing any kind of musical profession: music therapy may be good for me as I have the right personality and talent for that. I might even try sound editing and tech stuff. Combining music and technology, I could easily produce tracks, but I won’t track produce for rappers. Please no. I won’t. If I want to get close to music, this is what I will do. I might even consider broadcasting school for DJ’s and be a disc jockey on the radio stations in Denver. I could make my broadcasting hobby into a career. I am not good at keeping hobbies, but I love writing. Writing skills however good they are are required for some of those office jobs I looked at. As a musician for years, I noticed a trend in the ones who were famous and the ones who weren’t. Most were sighted. I also think the more popular ones, sighted or blind, had something to do with philanthropy, and I have noticed Denver is a breeding ground for that too.
Jessey, I see potential to do music, and that’s all I want. I can’t see myself changing a career path like I have absolutely tried my darndest to do. Social work? “Inappropriate due to mental illness and instability,” said a doctor named David Benson, and he also made an oppressive comment about a piece of clothing I wore to his office: a hijab that Muslim women wear. Dr. Benson had no respect for diverse religions and women’s customs and habits were not dealt with properly. The guy was uneducated, even as a doctor, and my parents unfortunately sided with him. Making comments like he did about my dress, which included but were not limited to, “She’s pretending to be Arab” and “Child marriage happens in the Middle East/Africa,” were inappropriate of someone in the psychological field. Real psych docs should respect diversity as do I. I am a big advocate of cultural sensitivity, except where it hurts others. If it hurts a woman to advocate for early marriage, then there has to be a change. If it hurts blind girls to be thrown in the ocean because some Indian or Tamil lady thinks it not ok to have a female who is blind, then there’s no way that this culture should be completely advocated. If any sensitivities include allowing infanticide of females and blind babies, boys or girls, then there’s no way I would allow this to happen. A blind boy had a mass said over him. This is a Catholic family! They wanted their son to DIE! I just about had a heart attack when I saw the tidbit in a piece of literature I was reading. Babies who are blind are often not taught or stimulated or given the right modalities and therapies because the family might want to have nondisabled children or have older nondisabled toddlers and children of school age. Perhaps as a music therapist, I could help a blind infant gradually become a self-serving adult, allowing the person to eventually get a job. If the child has a terminal illness and is neglected due to that, as a social worker, I could’ve been instrumental in making sure the parents were held accountable. I can’t wield a gun or be a police woman, so there you have it.
As Richele was talking to me, I sat calmly in the Ross fitting room, but inside, my brain was screaming, “You didn’t go to work today. You didn’t go to work today. You didn’t go to work today. What the hell was your problem?” Richele simply acknowledged something or other, something about my Individualized Plan of Employment, IPE, and asked how things were going. She said there were no reports from you, which is probably a good thing. As I said before, I don’t know what is to happen to me later. I truly believe that if I were to release a couple of albums and hear the music I made on the radio, I would give anything to be in a position to make philanthropic contributions to the Denver area. I have been at the very bottom of the scum pile before: My best friend from high school threw me out of the household in Aurora, and I had to fend for myself and beg for food. I will never do that again, and I will swear myself to that. I know that there are some women who might need the help. I was fed among the needy at a church, and there were lots of disabled and homeless people among the ones fed. I tried to go to church there, but they didn’t get transit for me to and from the church. Thus, I went to Grace Community, and they offered their hearts and homes to me. I will hopefully give back to them, $200 million maybe. I could rig up their whole building with that much. I have ambitions, goals, dreams, and I don’t want to be fried for those.
The next thing I’d like to address here is the wonderful things you’ve helped me with all this time. In truth, I should say thanks a bunch for the work I have been able to do, and thanks to your kindness and patience, I feel a lot more competent in office settings. Hey, it’s only for backup purposes. Jessey, I’d like to thank you profusely for the good skills, and because Video Intercept manager totally sucks, Mavis Beacon doesn’t work. I think that’s what it is. At least that’s my theory, darn it. It’s really good that we’re doing this, but as a blind woman, I felt Bayaud could use a few improvements: why not grab a computer instructor who can translate mouse clicks into keystrokes if you have another blind client? Consult Chip Johnson and the folks at the Colorado Center for the Blind. I can give you their name and number if you ask. I could give you some ideas, and the two of you all could share lots of tips, tricks, and lots of ideas. Nothing like idea sharing to get the office better in a lot of areas. For one thing, I have a friend in Utah who runs his own business and he knows what business is.
The only thing I have to say about Bayaud’s GOST program is that it wasn’t fit for blind audiences, no doubt because it was Babs’s first time working with me, but she did a good job looking around and learning what she could. It helped that you had a sister who is blind. It never struck me once you could be a bad person just because I’m nuts and weird or I’m not quite there yet.
It’s gonna be hard to walk in here and not see me for you that is. I know it’ll be extremely hard to forget me, though. It’ll be really hard to forget the woman with the white cane. If you see me on TV or somewhere else out there, don’t hesitate to call me at work and say, “Beth, whoa. That was good stuff you did out there.” I’ll take calls any time of day or night, honestly. I’ll use you for a reference only with your permission, and I’ve worked hard for that. Blake was a good reference for my church membership form, and he said I adored kids. Yes, I want kids, and I adore kids, but still, kids are a lot of work. I might have kids later, but not now. Blake and I have to marry first, but that’s a long time away. For me, it’s long overdue after 2016 because his mother has been acting weird lately.
To close things off, I want to say thanks and good luck in you and your future endeavors. Maybe you should be saying that to me. But you really became a good supervisor. I’m not kidding.
Let me refocus the note, however long it is, since I don’t plan to write the Great American Novel. I qualify for janitorial work, call center work, etc. Janitors and all the other works I probably qualify for though require experience. What is with those stupid job postings saying, “Eighteen months experience?” I am floored by the things that happen with job postings. Thank you again for your support. In five days, I will not see you for a while, and after that staffing, it’s over. Done.
Beth Taurasi

Author: denverqueen

My name is Beth. I'm blind from birth and enjoy the blogging atmosphere. I am a creative person, a musician, a writer, etc. This is me. Take it or leave it.

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